Tag: family time

Wait – What? I’m Supposed to Have Summer Organizing Projects?

It’s feeling like summer.  My older sons are out until August, and the youngest is counting the hours until Friday noon.

I don’t know if this happens in every house (probably not), but when the kids get out of school and the weather turns warm, my thoughts turn to…. Projects!  (I know, I may be crazy).  Of course, my thoughts also turn to summer travels and relaxing with friends and family, but summer is a great time to make progress on projects.

Wait – What? I’m Supposed to Have Summer Organizing Projects?

Yes, you are.  Why?

The days are longer.  It’s warmer in the garage / attic / basement, if that’s where the projects are.  Our energy is higher. There may be extra people (read kids) around to help. So here is how:

  • Grab a clipboard.  Yes, a clipboard.  Seriously – don’t you feel more confident and in charge when you carry a clipboard? Julie McCoy, Cruise Director always knew what was going on, right?  (I just totally dated myself, but so be it).  Grab the clipboard with some paper and pen.
  • Walk around every room of your house with your clipboard, and then outside, too.
  • Look at every room as though it’s the first time.  Walk with someone, and explain the space to them. Saying things out loud can help us process our ideas.  Jot down thoughts.
    • First, appreciate the positive aspects.  (“I really love that couch.  I love the way the light fills this space. I still love this paint color, etc.”)
    • Now consider what you might like to change about the space.  Be realistic, but dream big.  Making changes can breathe new life into our spaces.  I love my great room, but rearranging the furniture the other day made me love it even more.
    • Now consider what organizing projects could help your spaces:
      • De-clutter?  Always a good step.
      • De-furnish?  I walk into so many rooms that have way too much furniture.
      • A good cleaning?  A very simple solution.
      • Invest in an organizing solution?  Perhaps your space could use new book shelves, a better closet system, or under-bed storage for off season clothes or bedding?
      • Be specific.  Don’t just write “organize bedroom” on your list.  Try – “clean out dresser drawers”, “purge old shoes”, “clean out under bed”, “hang new art work”, etc.
  • When you’re done, you may have a lengthy list.  Don’t get overwhelmed, you only need to tackle a few!
  • Looking at your list, determine what projects your family can complete over the next few months. Why?
    • Decision makers.  I live with 4 other people.  If I want to make an organizational change, I ask opinions from the other people who live here, out of respect.  This is easier in the summer, when my family is home more.  Kids may be home from college, and spouses may have a free day here and there.
    • Extra hands.  For example, we have A LOT of books in our house – the bookshelves have gotten full. This past weekend, each son went through his bookshelves.  Three bags of books are ready to donate to our local library, plus three bags of garbage left, too!
  • Pick just one room to start, and just one project. For example, “Family Room: Organize DVD collection”.
  • Now list the steps, and who can help.  The steps may include
    • “collect  cases and loose DVDs, put them together” (20 minutes, son #3),
    • “alphabetize the DVDs” (5 minutes, son #3), and
    • “review and purge unneeded DVDs for sale or donation” (20 minutes, everyone).
  • I find projects are more manageable, for me and my sons, when broken into smaller pieces.

So, what’s it going to be this summer?  Getting that garage ready for next winter?  Finally clearing out the attic, to get ready for selling the house next year?  Maybe just tidying up all the closets?  Tackle those projects!  Walk around, write them down, break them up, and share the load!  Then hit the beach or the trail! Enjoy!

7 Motivation Boosters That Worked This Week

What is Motivation? Energy? Drive? Google defines it “the reason or reasons one has for acting or behaving in a particular way, or the general desire or willingness of someone to do something”.  Finding and keeping “Motivation” is a recurring theme with my clients and the rest of the world, too!

Below are 7 ways to increase our “desire or willingness to do something”, that worked for others this week.  Give one a try!

  1. Recognize the BIG DEAL OF MOTIVATION isn’t so big after all. It’s one simple decision. Yes or No. Left or Right. Up or Down.  From moment to moment, choose to do the productive thing over the unproductive thing, organized over disorganized, the healthy choice or the unhealthy choice.  Motivation shows up in little tiny steps in the right direction, as opposed to large sweeping gestures or drastic life changes.
  2. Change your Perspective.  Be someone else.  A friend hates filing his papers, and wants an assistant who would file for him. So, as silly as it sounds, once a week, he plays a little mind game, pretends to be his own assistant, and takes care of those mundane tasks that he dreads.  Knowing him, he may even send himself out for a cup of coffee as a reward.  If I lack motivation to take care of tasks, I might pretend to be my favorite concierge ever, Angelo, who helped me plan a girls’ weekend.  Step outside of yourself, be that helper for 30 minutes and take care of all those things you want to hand off to someone else.
  3. Accountability.  Here’s how: Agree with a friend to accomplish a list of tasks, and report to each other via texting or email when you accomplish each task (phone calls take too long).  The act of reporting our successes can be so motivational!  On the other hand, wanting to avoid the embarrassment of having to admit we didn’t accomplish something may be motivating enough to get us to accomplish the tasks!
  4. Tackle big projects in small pieces.  Perfectionist thinking says “I only want to start the task when I have time to complete it”, even when the task takes 10 hours.  And we rarely will get 10 hours in a row to dedicate to a task.  Try little pieces to move your projects along.
  5. Employ Hard Stops.  Hard stops go together with “little pieces”.  We hesitate to start projects because we have no idea how long they’ll take to complete. Try scheduling time to just work on the task, not necessarily complete it.  Set a timer, commit to stopping at a certain time, then STOP! And go do something else!  You’ll make progress in a couple of areas, and feel more motivated to get back to your tasks next time.
  6. Pay attention to people sapping your motivation.  Perhaps your boss, a needy friend, a cranky family member?  Even after you finish speaking with them, your brain mulls over the conversation, and your focus and energy are gone.  You can’t avoid them altogether, but you can take back your energy and focus.  Consciously decide to return to Yourself, Your Plan, Your Day.  I know, it is easier said than done, but it can be a powerful feeling, to take back your motivation.
  7. Pay attention to other drains on your motivation.  I worked with a client recently who mentioned she felt terrible every Sunday evening.  So the question is not “How do we take off every Monday from work”, but instead, “What do we do differently over the weekend that makes us feel poorly by Sunday?”  Poor food choices, staying up late, sleeping in?  What if our headache or upset stomach are from anxiety about the coming week?  Be aware, and take action.

So, the next time your get-up-and-go gets up and goes, try one of these ideas to give your motivation a boost!

It’s 6 pm – Do Something to Help Today & Tomorrow!

I presented to the parents in my local school district last week.  We discussed tips and ideas to help our students get organized.  What a great group!  I loved speaking to all of them, and I also loved how everyone was willing to share challenges and ideas to support each other.

A Question I ask in my presentation is “Why should we bother getting organized, especially if we have kids?” We realize we are the parents, the Adult, and we set the example.  We want our children to do well in school and in life.  We want our lives to be less complicated, less stressful and more enjoyable.  And we want to be able to say “Yes” to new things. 

So, how can we set the example?  Get organized, be less stressed, enjoy life more.  This week and the next two, we’ll look at busy family times of day, evening, morning and after school.

Let’s say it’s 6 pm.  What can you do tonight that will make tomorrow run more smoothly?  Try one of these:

  1. Pack lunches for tomorrow (for the kids, and for you!!).  We use our lunch packing time to discuss nutrition, and what goes into a healthy meal. I have also found that the kids are more likely to eat a lunch they had a say in packing!  We pack lunches after dinner, so often the boys will pack leftovers like refried beans and cheese on a tortilla, or a piece of chicken.  And since we’re in the kitchen cleaning up from dinner already, it takes just a few moments to pack lunch for tomorrow.  If I have clients the next day, I will pack a lunch for me, since my lunch will always be healthier and cheaper than the fast food that is available between clients.
  2. Look at tomorrow’s Schedule:  Typically, our after-dinner adventures lead to checking out tomorrow’s schedule.  We check to what’s on the hot lunch menu, who has to be at school early or late, and who has what activities.  Checking tomorrow’s schedule provides an opportunity to place band instruments by the back door, and pack sports uniforms, a snack and water bottle for practice.
  3. Make time once a week, like Sunday night after dinner, for a family meeting /      planning session.  Review together projects and events for the coming week.
  4. Pack up the backpack tonight, after homework is done, and set it by the back door.
  5. Check the weather forecast, and pick out tomorrow’s clothes.   If you have small children, lay out their clothes on the floor in the shape of a person, facing down.  Then they can climb right in!
  6. Solve tomorrow’s problems today.  Because there is still time to go to the grocery.  Maybe this only happens in my house, but have you ever heard at 7 am, “Hey Mom,      by the way, I need 4 2 liters of soda for the band party.”?  The obvious mom response is “When is the party?”   And the answer is… wait for it….  Today.  So start the conversations early!  Another example:  the oldest son mentioned late last Tuesday that he needed to wear his black suit coat to his concert Wednesday night.  That would be the black suit coat he wore to homecoming, the one that was at the dry cleaners.  So first thing Wednesday morning I retrieved the now clean coat.  I am very glad I found out about it the day before, instead of at 5 pm Wednesday!
  7. Get to Bed on time!  All of You!

So, take a look at just this one part of your day, and how to make it better by being more organized and less stressed!  Let me know what works!

Time Clutter Has Got To Go!

Week Six in the Lenten Organizing Challenge.  This week we look at the Spirituality of Time Clutter.  Remember, Clutter Is anything we don’t need, use or love.  And that means time clutter, too.  How we use our time can be a very spiritual choice.  Our time is the only thing we truly own, and it is important that we use it well and wisely. 

I read a book a few years ago called “There Must Be More Than This” by Judith Wright.  In this book, Wright talks about how small, minor habits that we have every day can actually cause us a lot of harm.  She defines these habits as “Soft Addictions”, “habitual activities or moods that numb our feelings, sap our life force, and lock us into a limbo of muted experience”.  These addictions keep us from feeling deeply and experiencing fulfillment.  We “guide our lives by old, unconscious, unexamined, limiting beliefs”.  These addictions are broken down into 4 sub-headings: 

  1. Activities –  media – TV and movies, email / social media, buying / shopping , personal maintenance, physical mannerisms, sexual, risk taking, social diversions
  2. Moods / Ways of Being:  being sarcastic, being cranky or irritable, always on, jokester, perfectionist, fanaticism, moping, acting cool, blaming others
  3. Avoidances:  procrastinating, playing dumb, playing the victim, acting helpless, being too busy, over-sleeping or napping, being late
  4. Things – edible and consumable, overeating or excessive drinking, having too much or too many of any thing

There are more specific lists of these 4 types in her book and on her website, http://judithwright.com/ .  I would recommend reading this book, check it out at your local library, or you can borrow my copy!

Whenever I review this book, I challenge myself to look at how I spend my time.  I have good habits most days, but like many of us, my good habits and intentions slip, so I need reminders and re-commitment regularly.  To improve my life, there are things I can pare down, eliminate or replace with good habits:  watching TV, obsessively checking my email or Facebbok, late night snacking and thinking crabby thoughts are the first things that come to mind, and that was in 10 seconds, I’m sure I could think of more!

My major weaknesses are in Moods / Ways of Being.  I need to break free of perfectionism some days, and my inner voice needs to be less cranky and judgmental.  Spending more time being positive and loving would certainly help me live better (and those around me!!).  The Moods / Ways of Being category is tough, though, since negative moods can slide into our behaviors without notice.  So this week, I am noticing!!   

I also need to cut back on my TV consumption.  I have quite a backlog of recorded shows on my DVR from our week on vacation, and looking at the list, I realized there were shows I really don’t need to watch at all.  I have a very busy week this week, and I am choosing to not spend my hours sitting on my couch watching TV.  The shows don’t seem worth the hour I would need to spend to watch them.  So I deleted them, and will choose more meaningful endeavors like time with my family, reading, or prayer and ministry for Holy Week. 

My challenge to you is to take a long look at how you spend your time.  If you kept a diary for a week, what would it look like?  Ask yourself what behaviors or habits that you have that hold you back from leading a better life.  What are some soft addictions you could pare down or part with, now and forever?  Purge Time Clutter this week and live better. 

Be Peaceful and Relax With Me This Week

Reposted, original post 12.26.2011.

Can I move to the UK? Or Canada? Just for the day? I am writing this on December 26th, and my original first line quipped “my annual Boxing Day dilemma” and that I would have to look up to actually see what Boxing Day is. So I did. And, as God would have it, Boxing Day is exactly what I needed!   My dilemma was about how to spend my day, relaxing or taking care of business.   For once, relaxing won!

In other countries and cultures, the day after Christmas is reserved for relaxing and spending time with family, eating party leftovers, being thankful for what you have and giving generously to those in need. How awesome is that?

I struggle daily with two opposites: feeling compelled to constant work and motion, versus feeling the need to relax and recharge. The titles of the saved emails in my in-box this morning were indicative of these two opposites: “You-time is vital to survival”, “Take back your weekend”, “Take time off this Christmas time” on the one hand; “Productivity during the Holidays”, “Strategic Planning for the New Year!” and “Head Start Week for Businesses (using this last week of the year to get ready for strategy and organizing for next year)” on the other.

Work and motion always win. I spent the last three days lovingly and happily working hard to extend hospitality with a clean home and lovely meals, and making sure Christmas wishes came true. I cantored Christmas morning Mass (a great joy of mine), spent time with wonderful people, had some emotional ups and downs around great joy and tragedy and loss, received lovely gifts and counted my blessings.

I am sharing this not for props, but to explain why I am very tired today. So, friends, if you also struggle between work and rest, let me suggest that this week both you and I allow relaxing and re-charging to win for a change.

One of the blogs I follow states relaxation is vital to survival, an opportunity to replenish “the well”, to regain the energy we have expended and prepare us for tomorrow.  For me, today’s relaxation included sleeping in and staying in my fuzzy robe for a while, looking at lots of Legos, reading a magazine, catching up with a good friend far away and going to the movies with my family.  I believe there will be more movie watching and vegging out later this evening if I hide the remote control now….. ok, done.

I find it difficult to do nothing, so I also cleaned out my in-boxes, tidied up my house, re-pledged to healthy eating and taking my vitamins, and did some strategic planning for next year. I find positive energy replenishing, so I enjoyed these things, too!  And I did it all while wearing jammies and drinking coffee or tea from my wonderful new Keurig, my gift from my even more wonderful husband.

So, take a breath this week, take a break, and replenish your energy to prepare for the new year. If you need me, I’ll be eating leftover cheesecake for dinner and playing Wii games with my family.  Smiling all the way.