Tag: productivity

Time Management Is Stress Management

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Have I mentioned? I have this great opportunity multiple times a year.  I teach time and stress management to students in the Highway Construction Careers Training Program, or HCCTP, at two different community colleges in the area.

Let me trace it back. Here’s a reminder that we never know how far our ripples will reach. I owe this opportunity to connections that I made in a professional speaker’s group over 10 years ago now.

And I have to laugh, because there’s so many people that I’m still connected with to this day through that speaker’s group, even though the group disbanded a few years ago. Still connections, friends, network partners, whatever you want to call them, that I met in that professional speaking group.  Many industries were represented, what brought us together was professional speaking.

There was a nutritionist, an insurance broker who I’m still friends with today and who also has a podcast on the Broadcast Basement network.  There was a financial planner who does financial planning presentations, and I’m still connected to him to this day. A friend and network partner who interviewed me on her YouTube channel last Spring, Sabrina Schottenhammel, is a massage therapist and professional speaker and wellness advocate.  And a friend and network partner, Alexandra Glumac, is affiliated with South Suburban College and she is why I started teaching this program, long ago and far away!

I teach time and stress management to the HCCTP hosted at South Suburban College, the Oak Forest campus. They have 4 or 5 groups of students through the program every year.  And because of my experience at South Suburban College, I also teach for a similar program at Kankakee Community College. I get to teach awesome groups of people about time management and stress management.   I started to write today’s episode and article content as I parted ways with Class number 32 last week.  I told them I would give them a shout out.  So, hey, Class 32!  It was great to meet you all!

I started teaching this course around Class number 3 or 4. These groups are in class for 12 weeks, and I speak to them on time management and stress management in their first week of class.  That makes a lot of sense, because by being brave and taking on this coursework, they need time and stress management to make their lives work in the midst of this extra busy time.

And I’m going to be completely transparent.  The stress management is more stressful for me. I know that’s weird, but it’s the truth. Time management is productivity, and hey – that is where I live. That is my jam. That’s what I do. Productivity. Yep. Sign me up. I could talk to you for hours about productivity.  And I probably have, over time.

But the 4 hours of stress management content is newer for this group.  I have only done that 3 or 4 times.  And I’m still trying to get the best right combination of content. My goal is to not stress people out with a lot of work while making sure my participants have the tools they need to succeed.  That is my goal for these groups every time I meet them, to give them tools in their life. And I love that!  I have the coolest job.  And I meet the coolest people. Class 32 challenged me. When they found out I had a podcast, they wanted an episode dedicated just to them.

And here we are.  I can absolutely do that.

We tackled both time management and stress management last week.  And here is the secret, right here.  This is what guides my practices. I feel that so many of the practices that we use in time management are also useful for stress management.

When we feel out of control, unproductive, out of sorts, you know, maxed out because we’re always late, or we never feel like we have enough time to do what we need to do or what we want to do. We don’t feel like we’re making time for the people in our lives. We don’t feel like we’re making time for ourselves.  These are all very stressful situations. And did you hear the words that I said in those statements? Time. Time.

Here’s the premise for today.  I will declare that time management is positively and irrevocably entwined with stress management and stress reduction. Making sure that we’re doing right by that is going to help everything else go better.

If we can get clear on what we want to accomplish in the course of our day and then make it happen, yes, it’s a management of time, but that also decreases our stress levels. We can recognize that and we can work with it.

Here is what our agendas looked like.  In our time management workshops, we begin talking about routines and how our routines can support the things that we need to, to make sure our needs are met in a consistent and regular way. And I’ve talked about routines in other episodes.

In class, we discuss sleep hygiene. Sleep hygiene is the routine we have around getting good sleep.  And we know getting good sleep increases overall health and decreases stress.

We watch a couple cheesy videos from early 2000s on productivity, and talk about priorities and planning and goal setting. We look at Priorities and the Eisenhower box, which I know that I have done an episode before about, I’ve always liked that tool. It’s such a great tool. Because knowing we’re working on what is important decreases stress and increases life satisfaction.

In our time together, because these are students in a highway construction careers training program, we talk about project management. I don’t always talk about project management, it’s a very specific need. These folks are going to be working on projects, though, so we take a first glance at project management to get a feel for how they fit into the bigger picture on a project.

Finally, in time management, we talk through procrastination. Because conquering that delay-for-no-good-reason increases productivity and decreases stress.

The next day, in the stress management component, we talked more about routines. We also talked about Maslow’s hierarchy of needs because we need to be able to identify needs so we can ensure they are consistently met. Because otherwise we get stressed! It is stressful when needs are not met. Physical, safety, psychological, esteem, etc. 

This week, I also shared learning styles with this group.   Learning styles were the topic of last week’s episode. I like the stress management content that I wrote because it is all about the person.  The individual.  There were so many really cool aha ah moments.

We were talking about learning styles, and I mentioned that some of us think in pictures, and some of us think in words, and some of us think in commercials or scenes.  That some of us read the words in front of us, and some of us actually sound the words out in our head when we read.

Just knowing that there’s a difference is so important. A lot of our stress management was talking about awareness.  Self-awareness. Awareness of how we are showing up in the moment.  In coaching, awareness is the first goal.

We talked a lot about that in stress management. We talk about physical awareness.  Like physical needs, and also, you know, awareness of where our stress is in our body. For example, if I’m stressed, my face flushes and my shoulders get tense.  If we know what stress feels like, we can identify it more readily and take steps to decrease it for our own wellness.  I really love that, that physical awareness, that physical scanning of ourselves.

Apparently I do it a lot because a couple of my class participants noted “yeah, you do that all the time”.  I didn’t realize anybody else noticed that, but that’s okay.

Along the lines of checking in physically for stress management, we also practiced square breathing both days. Because to be honest, square breathing is a tool I use EVERY DAY.  If you’re not familiar, it’s a breathing technique where we breathe in for 4 beats, hold the breath for 4 breaths, exhale for 4 breaths and hold the exhale for 4 breaths.  That’s it.  Don’t push it, don’t rush it, don’t make it unnatural.  Just focus on your breathing for 5 – 7 cyles of square breathing.  A 90 second vacation.  It’s lovely. 

So, to recap:

It is great to teach these group, and Class 32, it was lovely to meet you.

Time and stress management are related.  If we can get a handle on our time as a limited and valuable resource, if we can do better with our time management, that will absolutely help us with our stress management as well.

When we better manage our routines, priorities, projects, procrastination, goals, bodies and wellness and sleep and breath – stress goes down.

So those are all time management things. But it sounds a lot like stress management to me, too, right? Time management is also stress management.

I’ll never say we can be stress free. And stress isn’t always bad.  Some stress helps us to perform better.  My concern about teaching Stress Management meant that the night before the class, I made sure to check my bag and make sure that I had everything I needed to teach the group today. It was the elevated stress that helped me to be a better teacher today and to work with my group better. That’s good stress.

But long term stress can cause mental and physical problems.  The nagging, long term, you know, heavy weight of stress sometimes that can absolutely cause us trouble. And again, in transparency, I have been in a very stressful season personally and I really need to rev up my self care. So when life gets more stressful, I know it doesn’t make sense, but we actually need to do more to care for ourselves than we normally would because the demands are so much greater on us. And again, I think I need to say that out loud to myself as well.

In stressful times, we need to do more to care for ourselves because the demands are so much greater on our systems, psychological system, physical system, whatever that looks like. Getting good at time management decreases stress. Yes, let’s do that!

How Does Your Brain Work? Learning Styles

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Learning Styles: Does This Sound Like You?

  • “I’m more of a visual person.”
  • “I really need to talk some things out.”
  • “If I hear a song once, I remember the words.”
  • “I’m more of a hands-on person.”
  • “If I drive to your house once, I will always remember how to get there.”

Yes, yes and yes!

Today, let’s talk about learning styles. In coaching, we call them processing modalities. I am going to use the terms “learning styles” and “modalities” interchangeably.  Our processing modalities are how OUR brain best deals with information.  These learning styles are part of what makes you you, but they are not character or personality traits. They are the paths your brain uses to process and cement information and turn it into something useful for you.

The most common ones, or at least the ones we will talk about today, are

  • Visual,
  • Auditory,
  • Verbal and
  • Kinesthetic (and relatedly, Tactile).

Simply put, visual processors learn by seeing, auditory learners learn by hearing, verbal learners learn by speaking, and kinesthetic and tactile processors learn by doing.

It is helpful for us to understand that there are learning styles, that everyone is a blend of learning styles – you and me and everyone else that you interact with – and how to support our blend and the blend of the people we interact with.  Knowing you are a blend, and I am a blend, and that every other person in your life is their own blend of learning styles gets us closer to awareness, acceptance and understanding.

An important thing to remember is that you have options. Options on how to support your own learning styles, and options on how to manage yourself with other people whose learning style is different than yours.

When you think of a traditional classroom, consider all the ways the teachers engage multiple learning styles.  We read aloud, or listen to the teacher or other students read aloud, or we may listen to a recording.  We may use our hands and use manipulatives in math, or word cards on our desk in ELA. We write our own notes, we look at things around the room or on the board, we might move around to stations or act out a scene from literature or history.  There are many ways to reinforce learning styles.

We all possess all of the learning styles, but we each our own special blend of strengths.  The styles or modalities show up differently in each of us at times, too. When he was little, I thought one of my sons was being difficult because we didn’t see things the same way.  And the answer is, we absolutely DID NOT see the things the same way.  And, that’s ok. 

When we talked it through, he and I discovered that he is a visual learner and that when I told him to go in and clean his room, he saw everything in his room as one thing, one composite item.  He would get overwhelmed.  It was difficult for him to break down the big composite item into smaller pieces of the room, like making his bed, then putting the laundry on the floor into the hamper and hanging up his baseball cap.  Once we figured out that we literally didn’t see things the same way, we figured out how I could change my language and he could change how he looked at things and then we started to communicate better.

Now that we know that there are learning styles, and that we all have our own strengths in those learning styles, let’s look at how we can use that knowledge to navigate our life.

I will use myself as a case study:

I am strong in multiple modalities, which is quite common.  One of my strengths is auditory learning. I am a really good listener, which serves me well in my role as an organizational coach and musician. And, that can also be a problem because I get stressed out with prolonged or chaotic loud noise. I LOVE and I mean LOVE a good concert, either seated in plushy seats listening to a full orchestra but more so, in a bar listening to one of our favorite bands.  AND, though I love the concert, I’m also somewhat relieved to walk outside in relative quiet to let my brain process all of the awesome new input I just experienced.  Both can be true.

I am also a professional speaker and singer.  Not surprisingly, I am a strong verbal learner. For myself, I know that I benefit from talking through challenges and ideas, and very often I gain awareness when I hear myself say something out loud. And I can get to a point some days that I am talked out.  I am a verbal learner, but I dislike talking on the phone. I would rather speak in person. I am aware of my learning styles, how they show up for me, how to manage me and what tools I can use as I go through my day.

So, let’s look at the specific learning styles.

A visual processor:

  • learns by seeing, or imagining something in their mind;
  • recognizes patterns;
  • appreciates aesthetics; and
  • appreciates visual representations like graphs or pictures.
  • Ways to work as a visual processor:
    • use color to indicate category or priority, in our homes or professional life;
    • use highlighters or fun colors of ink in writing;
    • make a good list or map of things, take pictures of things to help you remember;
    • be purposeful in the physical arrangement of space; and
    • become aware that we are impacted by visual stimuli.
    • For example, to support my visual learning, I request communications in text or email form so that I can refer back to it if I need reminders.
  • Times it can get in the way:
    • one visual learner may want to see everything all the time and doesn’t put things away;
    • another visual learner may get distracted or overwhelmed by seeing everything, and we need to put it away behind a closed door; and
    • for some visual learners, if they don’t see something, it ceases to exist for them.

An auditory learner:

  • learns by listening, hearing and even reading (we often hear the words in our head);
  • remembers things by how they sound, or what they were hearing when they learned it;
  • may hum or talk to themselves or others; and
  • may learn ideas while listening to favorite music, instrumental music, white noise or other noisescapes, or silence, depending on the person.
  • Ways to work with it:
    • learn new material by reading flashcards, directions, stories or assignments out loud;
    • record yourself spelling words or working through new content, and then listen to the recording;
    • use mantras or repeated phrases to reinforce an idea or learning; and
    • listen to podcasts, or use recordings, books on tape, or having test questions read to you out loud to help you study.
  • Times it can get in the way:
    • auditory learners rely heavily on hearing, but can also become overwhelmed with loud, chaotic, off-key or repetitious sounds; and
    • as with all learning styles, age and health can have an impact, for example, our hearing acuity changes with age, so we need to get our hearing checked regularly.

A verbal learner:

  • learns by speaking and expressing themselves, by “talking it out”;
  • is often strong in written communications, too, and reading and writing; and
  • is often strong with auditory learning.
  • Ways to work with it:
    • many of the tools with an auditory learner works with a verbal learner, too, as we are doing the reading of the materials; or
    • learn new material by reading flashcards, directions, stories or assignments out loud;
    • For example, I often “write” my articles while I commute or travel.  I open the Voice Memo app on my Iphone, and record my article, then use a transcription website to turn it into text. And at rehearsal the other night, I used the voice record to text option to send a text for follow up, and this sparked a conversation among my choir members.
  • Times it can get in the way:
    • as I mentioned in my case study, verbal learners can get talked out; and
    • verbal learners may speak too much, disrupting themselves and others.

Kinesthetic and tactile leaners:

  • learn by touching, doing, moving, building or drawing.
  • Kinesthetic learners use major muscle groups and gross motor skills;
  • tactile learners work more with fine motor skills and their hands;
  • learn best when there is some sort of movement involved with the experience;
  • learn by taking things apart and putting them back together; and
  • communicate with your whole body, physically and by touch.
  • Ways to work with it:
    • floor plans, maps;
    • factor in activity, gravitate towards sports or careers that incorporate movement;
    • physically manipulate learning tools like flash cards into categories, topics, etc.;
    • accept gum chewing, fidgeting, tinkering and taking physical breaks;
    • do hands-on activities that involve touching, building, moving, acting or drawing; or
    • offer to be the note taker in a group setting, to use the activity to keep your mind engaged.
  • Times it can get in the way:
    • a K or T learner may struggle if and when they are physically fatigued, injured or sore, or if space does not permit movement;
    • it is difficult to sit still and you may need to take frequent breaks;
    • fidgeting and movement may be mis-construed as lack of focus or impulse control in a traditional class room setting.

I could write forever about learning styles, but this is a good place to start.

Consider the different learning styles mentioned, and reflect on which one or ones resonate with you the most. Consider some of the tips suggested to help you in your day-to-day experiences. And take an active interest in the learning styles of the people around you as well, to foster communication and support!

P.S. I write this with gratitude to Denslow Brown with Coach Approach for Organizers, https://coachapproachtraining.com/, where I first learned about learning styles and processing modalities.

How To Get Back On Track

When naming this article and episode, I tried Catawampus – as in, “when it all goes catawampus”, but my SEO score on my blog did not think that was a good idea. Noted.

I was a guest on the EP podcast episode that dropped last Tuesday, March 12.

We recorded on Monday, March 11th because that is the day I record my episode, too. And I was a guest on the EP Podcast because Chris, my producer, had a family emergency over the weekend with his 18 year old daughter. And she’s fine. Healing well.

And everybody’s fine in my house too. Everybody’s okay. We’ll start with that.

But we talked through, first of all, the situation and that it was crazy for them, I know. And then the question he asked me was, “After the fact, what do you do to pick up the pieces?” You’ve been through this dramatic and potentially traumatic situation and what do you do to get back on track?

In his situation, he has children other than the post-surgical one to take care of. He needs to take care of his daughter while she recovers. Anything he had planned for that day and also for the days to follow obviously just went out the window because, well, that’s what the situation required.

We’re going to do it because it needs done and we’re going to do it because our kids win and because we love them. And guys, I really do love you. So if you’re listening – well, I don’t think my kids listen to my podcast, but some of their friends do. And then we pick up the pieces and get back to normal, get back to work.

Here’s the twist. We recorded at noon on Monday because we usually record at noon on Mondays. We have systems for these things and everything else. I’m still like a week behind. I’d like to get back on track with that personally. That is a leftover from my recent surgery.

My college age son was home for his Spring Break and there was an incident and he lost consciousness in the kitchen. I’ll leave it at that. It was scary. He ended up going to the ER in an ambulance. So, a shout out to the Evergreen Park Fire Department, the EMTs when we called 911 were awesome and competent and kind. They took care of business, they took care of my son, they loaded him up and we went to the hospital.

One thing Chris mentioned on his episode was that his 18 year old was still eligible for the pediatric ER, and if you have to choose, the pediatric ER is a better place for a young person than the regular ER. And I found it surreal that, within 8 hours of having that conversation with him, I found myself in the front seat of an ambulance while they unloaded my 19 year old in the ambulance bay next to the door labeled Pediatric ER at Christ Hospital.

Never, in no imagination of my day could I have foreseen that I would be confirming that information from him within 8 hours of recording that episode. But there we were. And to repeat, he’s fine. My son’s fine. And I have his permission to write about and talk about this. He’s ok.

Let me make the rest of this very long story short. We were there for 24 more hours. We arrived around 7:30 pm Monday. They ran tests and started the admission process at 11 pm. He was finally discharged from the ER at 08:00 pm on Tuesday night, they had not yet found him a bed in 24 hours

When you’re in the ER, you gain perspective. Obviously, other people were having a much worse time of life than we were. My son’s ok.

Simple things. My son was in the ER but he had a room with doors. A lot of people didn’t. He didn’t have a bathroom or a shower, and I didn’t sleep at all because the room is not set up with a chair for a non-patient to sleep in. I never pulled an all-nighter in college, that didn’t happen until I was a parent!

We had family and friends texting and checking in on us, with offers of support and assistance if we needed anything. I am so grateful. And I’m grateful for Greg, my husband, so that we could tag team and I could go home for a few hours of sleep when he came back first thing Tuesday morning because we didn’t want to miss any of the doctors in consultation, etc.

But as Chris mentioned, once the dust settles, right, after all this happens, then what? When you look around your house and you realize that all of the routines that you normally have that support your life were completely abandoned, for a few days. Where do you start? Where?

I’ve talked about emergencies recently. I had a recent surgery as well. Five weeks ago I had surgery on my nose. It was planned. It was February 13, but I had known about it since the end of November. It wasn’t news. It ended up being more complex, more invasive, and I had a lot more downtime and a lot more healing that I needed to do. That was news, but the schedule was already cleared, I had no expectations of myself already. It wasn’t an emergency, it was a hassle. I won’t say it was fun. I’m still not done healing. I still have swelling and follow up appointments. It’s not don, but for the most part, I’m good to go.

But trips to the ER, for your daughter and her appendix, for my son in the ER for 24 hours and a lot of diagnostics to determine what’s going on and what to follow up on. Those are emergencies. They both have had good outcomes so far. I know it could be worse. Oh, my God, do I know it could be worse.

Once the emergency has passed, now what? What do we do to get back on track?

I came home at 830 Tuesday morning after tagging my husband out at the hospital, having not slept for 27 hours. I set up my phone and apple watch to charge, took a shower, brushed my teeth, had a really big glass of water and slept for 2 hours. Then I got up and I made sure things were taken care of, sent a few emails, took a shower, got dressed, grabbed a protein shake for the road and headed back up to the hospital.

On Tuesday night, when we were finally discharged, we asked the question again.

First things first: We’re headed home, do we need to eat? We can pick up something on the way.
All right, I’m going to drop you guys off, and go to the pharmacy for my son’s prescriptions.

Anything we need grocery wise? No? Okay. We just had people over, so we have a full fridge of food.

Everybody was comfortable and happy.

Next, Laundry. Unpack the bag from the hospital Yes, let’s start a load of laundry.

Next, let’s make sure maintenance has been occurring. Load the dishwasher, bring in the mail, make sure that there’s no packages out front.

None of this new. I think that was the point that I made when I talked to with Chris on his podcast. We don’t do new stuff. We take a minute and remember what our routines are. And routines are there to help us make sure that our needs are being consistently met. That’s what routines do for us. And so first things first, we’re to check in on the needs. Needs are food, clothing, shelter, safety, warmth. Right? Basic bottom level of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs?

Check in on those, make sure that all of those are functioning. Food, clothing, shelter, safety, warmth. Once we take care of those needs, then we can move up the list.

Now, when we got home from the hospital, finally, it was after 08:00 on Tuesday night after very little sleep. At that point, another need, very rapidly was becoming sleep. I could have tried to do more, but it wouldn’t have worked. Sleep is also a need, and that was the answer. Meeting needs consistently so that everybody can continue to function in survival. I’d love to get into optimal thriving mode. But first things first is survival. Food, clothing, shelter, safety, warmth, right? I mean, that’s where we got to start.

So, when in doubt, that’s where we spend our first hours of attention, is making sure that those needs are met for the moment. In the moment. Then, how to continue to meet those needs for the next couple of hours and then days. We start with needs, we start small, we start with what is right in front of us. We don’t need to do the big stuff right now.

So to recap: First things first. Having routines, very helpful routines, helped me to grab what I needed to grab, throw it all in my backpack (which is my purse) that is always sitting in the same place and run out the door with the ambulance people. Anybody I need to contact was already programmed in my phone. All of my apps are up to date. Everything is up to date. My wallet has our insurance card and has all of John’s information, all of my son’s information.

There are things that maintenance, that routines absolutely provided. My son is otherwise in good health. I’m in good health. Maintaining good health eliminates helped rule out some potential problems because he’s in otherwise good health.

When emergencies happen, that’s it. That is where you need to be. Everything else needed to fall away. With my son is the only place I need to be. The rest of life will all be waiting for me when I get back, for better or for worse.

But that’s the answer. So we create routines because in the heat of it, in the heart of it, in crazy times, we need to have those structures in place to keep things going. So we have habits around needs, so those needs continue to be consistently met. And to give us the habits, the reminders of how to get back to some semblance of normal when our days haven’t necessarily looked normal.

Start with needs. Start with what is right in front of you. Don’t create something new, but get back to your routines. And that, my friends, is how to get back on track.

Body Doubling and “How Does Finish Line Friday Work”?

How Does Finish Line Friday Work? And, What Is Body Doubling?

I’d like to reintroduce body doubling. 

I was driving to a client appointment as I started to dictate this content out loud.  One benefit of slowly easing back into in-person clients this week is that I increased my commute time. I don’t really look forward to commuting time, but it is also uninterrupted time for me to think, and that is helpful! 

I like to be productive with my time. And while I love quiet uninterrupted time, there is still something to be said about working with other people, too! Enter, body doubling.

My phone has a name, my laptop has a name. Believing that there is somebody on the receiving end of what I have to say anchors me to the space. Believing that someone is expecting me and someone’s on the other side of that anchors me so I don’t get distracted.

A new community member reached out to me via email.  I believe she has started following me and my content in the last few months at one of my recent presentations. She visited a recent Finish Line Friday and wasn’t sure how it all works.  So, this is for you, Karen. I will endeavor to explain more clearly what exactly Finish Line Friday is, and how we use the strategy of Body Doubling and the Pomodoro Method of time management to increase productivity.

Body doubling is a productivity tool, a strategy, call it what you would like. In my own experiences and with my clients, body doubling helps us be more productive. Body doubling is one of the many perks of working with a professional organizer because having a person with you in your space as you work can be very motivating. It anchors us to the work and the space.  

Same goes for coaching. Body doubling is absolutely vital. For example, early in the pandemic lock down, a number of my clients struggled with the new phenomenon of unattached work time, of working virtually for the first time and it was not working for them.  They did not feel that they were being as productive as they could be, because it turns out that being around other people who were also working on similar things helped them to stay on track.

There were hours when I would sit in a zoom room or on Facetime with a client and they were doing their work and I was doing my work, and that would help my client stay on track. If a question came up, I’d be happy to answer it or I was ready to listen attentively. One client in particular would sometimes need to verbally work through something because she’s a verbal processor, and we would do this parallel play, this body doubling, for a few hours at a time because she knew that she needed support around some of the tougher projects.

Body doubling isn’t needed for every task.  You are a capable, productive person.  But some tasks are harder to tackle than others, and that is when we bring in tools. 

My middle son lives alone, but in community, in theater housing. He has his own apartment but he and his fellow actors all live in the same apartment complex.  He mentioned that there are times when he needs to get things done. Maybe he needs to tackle a project that he’s having some kind of mental or motivational block around, and he’ll have his friend come over and she can work on whatever she wants to work on or play video games, it really doesn’t matter. That’s not the point. he point is, having somebody else physically in his space keeps him from getting distracted.  She doesn’t have to remind him, it’s just her presence that will remind him.   He calls it Parallel Play, like when two year olds play next to each other on the floor with some blocks.  They’re developmentally too young to play together but they play with their own thing side by side.

Finish Line Friday is like parallel play. And here is how it works:

Finish Line Friday uses the Pomodoro method of 25 minutes of work and five minutes of rest.  Studies have shown the most efficient and effective ratio of work to rest is 52 minutes and ten minutes. For every 52 minutes of work, we need ten minutes of rest. And after three or four cycles of that, we need a longer period of rest. Imagine you start your workday at nine. You work from nine to 9:50 then take a 10 minute break. You work from ten to 1050, take a 10 minute break. You work eleven to 11:50, and then maybe you take half an hour for lunch. Right?  So, this cycle is something we may already be familiar with.

As a participant in Finish Line Friday the other day said, we know these things, but it’s really helpful to hear them said out loud by others.

Finish Line Friday helps us get into the healthy and productive habit of 50 minutes of work and 10 minutes of rest. 

In practice, for Finish Line Friday:

  • We all hop into the zoom room at 9 am;   
  • We arrive with our own work for the 2 hour session;
  • We spend a few minutes chatting;
  • We set our intentions for our first 25 minutes of work;
  • I share my screen with a 25-minute countdown clock, counting down to the next 5 minute break.
  • Then, I mute all of us, though we can stay on screen.  That’s how that works.
  • We work for the 25 minutes, check in for the break with another 5 minute countdown clock, and start all over again.
  • And we just do that for four cycles. 
  • There are not assignments, at least not from me!  Come to us with your own agenda, with your own work, with your own ideas about what you want to get done.

Yes, I’m happy to talk to you about productivity or triaging your to-do list or prioritizing.  We can absolutely do that in the breaks or in the chat.  I facilitate productivity, but we are working side by side. We are working together on our own things, myself included. We all come with our own agenda, and I supply the structure and the community. 

I supply the structure and the community. That’s Finish Line Friday. 

Recently, the work has included: 

  • one participant was uploading artwork to a shared drive;
  • another was getting ready for houseguest and was grateful for a 2 hour block of time, knowing that they would get some stuff done, maybe talk to people on the break, and have fun (and that is FLF does for them);
  • a first-time participant was excited to get through a couple of planning tasks and then start working on a professional project; and
  • I cleaned out my in-boxes, wrapped up messages for the week, then moved on to writing presentation content for a project I’m working on for my national association. 

Now that I have more fully explained Finish Line Friday, please assemble your to-do list and plan to join us for a Friday morning of getting things done!

Eliminate Brain Clutter With A Cranial Cleanse

In a recent Finish Line Friday session, one of my regular participants mentioned she was working on “The Smalls” during our time together.  She explained that it was the end of a very busy week.  She had been home long enough between events and appointments to make piles but not to put away the piles. She said “Every room had a pile of smalls.”

And the other participants nodded understandingly because we’ve all been there.  Regularly!

That always makes me smile. Not because someone is struggling, but because most of us understand what “The Smalls” means.

And because the words  – The Smalls – sound funny to me and many people express frustration about The Smalls, in sometimes passionate and colorful language! For example, I have another friend and client who, when I ask her what we’re working on today, will occasionally say “The Smalls, Coll!  It’s The Smalls!” with perhaps some frustration and colorful words!

Here’s the thing:

The Smalls can be physical things in our spaces.

They can be a jumble of papers on the kitchen counter, the pile of Lego bits, Barbie shoes and puzzle pieces at the bottom of a bin of toys, or the contents of an everything drawer in the kitchen. (I personally don’t call them junk drawers, because if you call it a junk drawer, guess what ends up inside?)  If the person I mentioned in my first example is like me, the smalls in every room that she mentioned are bag contents from meetings and events, random clothing items or shoes at the back door that have been cycled through and now need to be put away, neglected amazon boxes and mail at the front door, etc.

Bear in mind, none of these items is technically clutter.  They are all things we obviously need, use or love – they just need tended to.

But they pile and they distract and they call out to us for attention and energy.

Which leads me to – The Smalls can be thoughts and ideas in our brains.

“Small” doesn’t indicate importance, or in the definition of “small”, perhaps un-importance, but instead their size.  “The Smalls” means that SO MANY MORE can fit in a space.  Like I have 100 ideas or to-dos or tasks in my brain and they’re all crammed in there making each look small. And they’re all clamoring to get out!

Some of the challenges with The Smalls, either on the kitchen counter or in our brain:

  • There are MANY.
  • They aren’t just clutter.  They are likely important and require care and attention.
  • Right now, they are unsorted and un-categorized.
  • They are not prioritized in order of importance.
  • We believe that the small are important.  And we don’t want them to get lost.
  • We fear The Smalls will get lost.  We fear that brilliant blog post idea that just came to us will disappear, then we worry about that so long that it does disappear, or we forget other things while we spend mental energy on trying to REMEMBER EVERYTHING!
  • The Smalls DO get lost, and then we forget appointments, emergencies happen, feelings are hurt, etc.

Another regular participant in my Finish Lind Friday productivity sessions has used great imagery when we talk about what we plan to accomplish that day.

Imagine a room full of helium balloons with strings attached.

Now, gesture with your hands to collect those strings.  That is what she is often working on, on a Friday. Gathering loose ends, she calls it, with that gesture. Gathering them together.

And a coaching client, in our time working together, even created her own Loose Ends List, to collect The Smalls and all the other ideas / thoughts / tasks that occur to her and then require completion.

I want to applaud all four people that I have mentioned – they identify The Smalls, they identified the need to consistently collect The Smalls, and they have habits and ways to collect and deal with them.

Two Big Ideas this week.

In the interest of writing this article this week, I opened up my copy of “Getting Things Done: The Art of Stress-Free Productivity” by David Allen, thinking I needed to re-read it to write this article. And I am … proud? Relieved? Yes, those feelings and more, to find out that since I read this book many years ago, I implemented and am still doing many of the things he talks about (and he talks about them clearly and concisely and the book is totally worth the read.) And I can do better, and I will share more about this book and his process in future podcasts and articles.

First big idea, this is a great book, check it out (and I mean, actually check it out of your local library – no need to buy it!).

To get started, though, in Getting Things Done, David Allen talks about collection. How first, we need to COLLECT all the thoughts and ideas in our head and get them out of our head and into a more user friendly, time specific, prioritized form.  He mentioned, among other things, a Mind Sweep.

Others call it a Brain dump, though I find that an inelegant phrase. My friend Jen recommended Cranial Cleanse when I asked my community for a better term for Brain Dump.

Whatever we call it, Mind Sweep or Cranial cleanse, it is a great place to start.

And it requires a place to put the collected items. For me, that means my Bullet Journal first, to collect items.  Then I insert them into my master to – do list to prioritize and take action.

But let’s talk about the collecting. I no longer do a cranial cleanse like David Allen recommends, as in, an event, because it is a constant process for me – I am ALWAYS doing a cranial cleanse.

For example, when I am working or out running errands, thoughts occur to me, like an idea or a task that needs completed, and I quickly jot it down.

Because…

Have You Noticed? Another problem is that very often a thought or idea or task occurs to us at a moment when we do not have time to act on it.

This

Happens

To

Me

All

The

Time.

I have noticed that certain events generate more thoughts and ideas.  For example, when I am driving.

When driving, my brain is focused on driving but also open to outside stimuli (which is a good thing while driving), subsequently ideas often come to me while I drive.  OR while I cook, or while I’m in the shower.

This goes back to the recent podcast and newsletter that talks about If I Don’t Write It Down, It Doesn’t Exist. 

The other side of that is, If I don’t capture and collect the ideas when they occur, they continue to float around in my brain with nowhere to go, and that makes things very crowded up there with all The Smalls! 

My suggestion, then, for all of this week – the Second Big Idea – is to have a trusted place to collect the ideas and cultivate a habit of collecting them.

I love my Bullet Journal, and that will be a live webinar sometime soon to look at how to make Bullet Journaling happen for you – but the take away is that I have ONE PLACE to write things down. 

It goes with me everywhere.

It is always ready to collect the ideas and safely hold on to them. To get all The Smalls out of my brain so there is room and space to actually get some work done.

And then I have the regular daily habit of reviewing those ideas, prioritizing and activating those ideas and putting them into  my master-to-do list or on the calendar, etc.

We can’t avoid The Smalls, and really, we don’t want to.  The Smalls are where it’s at, sometimes!  The genius is in The Smalls!  But not when all of the Smalls are cramped together in our brain. 

We need the habit of moving The Smalls out of our brain and into a trusted collector. And then the habit of prioritizing and acting on them, too!  This is how we get things done.

Everything? Sure, But Not All At Once!

I was chatting with one of my Finish Line Friday participants last week before everyone else arrived in my zoom room. Not surprisingly, we were talking about goal setting for the new year. I said out loud, as a reminder to her and to me, that “2024 is 12 Months Long.”

Meaning, we have a lot of time and opportunity to make positive change and we don’t have to stuff everything into the first week.

And that really resonated with her.

Because, of course, every year is 12 months long. January, even when we try to pack all sorts of new habits and change in, is 31 days long. No more, no less.

Some years, we start out strong and believe that we need to change EVERYTHING ALL AT ONCE when the new year begins. And we set our selves up for failure or major anxiety when we think that way. Instead, let’s consider pacing ourselves.

On the other hand, I had grand plans for EVERYTHING at once when it comes to strategic planning in January.

6 weeks ago, I made sure to block out time on the calendar last week and this week for hours of strategic planning time to work on my editorial calendar, get ahead on my writing and plan my year in detail. And… as is often the case when it comes to big-picture strategic planning, more urgent issues squeezed into the space instead.

This is not to say that I am not planning strategically for the year this week. It IS to say, that I am using smaller pieces of time to do the planning. And as an aside, I will block MORE time at the end of 2024 and beginning of 2025 to ensure some sacred space for planning!

The balance seems to be, then – Everything? Sure. But NOT ALL AT ONCE!

Here goes – this week, I am working on the Qs.

I use a Bullet Journal. I have mentioned it in past podcasts and videos, but I haven’t delved too deeply. And I feel that it is time to delve deeply!

And one of the features for the Bullet Journal is called a Future Log. As we set up our Bullet Journals, we start with a few index pages (a topic for another day), and then we set up our Future Log.

I, like many others, break my year into quarters. Quarter 1 is January, February and March, Quarter 2 is April, May and June, etc.

This year on my future log so far, I have:

  • Q1, a procedure in February
  • Q1, coaching certification to complete by March 1
  • Q1, Liturgy planning for Easter on March 31
  • Q2, a wedding in Maryland
  • Q3, family vacation
  • Q3, moving my son to his college apartment
  • Q3, a trip to Massachusetts

There are also doctor appointments, presentations, client appointments and board meetings on the calendar for 2024. But those are typical items and don’t need to be in the Future Log. The Future Log and the Qs are for tracking big projects.

Working with quarters helps my brain every day.

Some of us stumble into all or nothing thinking, and that sort of thinking can disrupt our reason, our logic, our productivity and our peace.

With the Q’s and the future log, I have a consistent and reliable place to park ideas that are AMAZING but that do not need to be worked into today’s plan or this week’s, or even this month.

Yesterday, I had a meeting with my social media manager. We are working on a big launch for Q1, but then she asked (without knowing what this week’s topic was going to be) if we could look at Q2 and beyond as well. YES!!

We don’t want to lose track of the good ideas we have, but now or even this quarter may not be the time to tackle them.

I have a big project for a professional organization I am affiliated with that will take time in Q1 and Q2, so any other big projects will need to be planned for Q3 or Q4.

I also look back at last year’s Q’s, the plan for each quarter and also the list of things I completed. And I can learn from that, as I plot my Qs for this year as I look ahead. For example,

  • Last year, especially in the second and third quarters, I was helping my mom downsize and move to her new very cute apartment. I will not need to do that this year, as she is already settled. More importantly, my son and his wife got married the end of September! Amazing, but also not something I need to plan for again this year!
  • On the other hand, also 3rd quarter last year, we spent a lot of time with one of my sons and his friends at the lake, and that was awesome, so I should make note now on my planning for July to spend weekends with them, if they’d like.

We can zoom out from the day-to-day or even week-to-week planning, and look at our year in broader strokes or as a bigger picture. We can pair up what we want to accomplish this year with the time that we have available. We can cut ourselves some slack and recognize that we can accomplish great things AND not wear ourselves out and doom our goals before we even begin by pacing our work and our energy for the longer term.

We can let our ideas flourish by giving them a resting place until we are ready to act on them.

Consider your 2024 Qs this week and this month, and set yourself up to succeed in 2024!

Let’s Get To Know “Time Blocking”

I am writing this content on December 26th to be published the first week of January.

I have high hopes for getting some tasks done today while also staying in my jammies and eating Christmas cookies. ( So far so good.)

At 6:30 am, I opened up my laptop and my task-list, after a very busy 4 days of wonderful Christmas revelry. 

Those days really were wonderful.  We celebrated with friends and family in multiple states.  I am so blessed.  I have so many amazing people in my life.  So very blessed.

And now, today I need to make progress on some neglected tasks.  Two professional tasks specifically, writing this podcast content and working the infrastructure for my subscription service. I need to send out emails for two different ministries that I run, and I need to get my house back to normal before more houseguests arrive tomorrow.

At 6:30 am with my first cup of coffee, I had identified those are my Focus Areas today. Then, I looked at my schedule for the day. I realized that with the people sleeping in my house right now, that house tasks and making noise should probably be an afternoon and evening endeavor.

I need to head to the grocery or place a grocery order, but that entails tidying the fridge and freezer and asking questions of the still sleeping family members, so this too is relegated until after noon.

The professional tasks are more time specific anyway, with two appointments with my assistant and my podcast producer this morning.

I looked at the transcription service that I use to turn my road-trip recordings into text so that I can edit it and publish articles.  And it isn’t working.  And I was less than excited about the topic I had chosen for today anyway.

So when I checked in on my editorial content calendar, I re-committed to my plan to talk about Tools in the Productivity Tool Box in January. 

And I moved my meeting with my social media guru to tomorrow to focus on writing podcast content this morning.

In doing all of those things, realized, that since I am using Time Blocking to make things happen for myself today, I should write about it for all of us!

Time Blocking = Batch Work = Time Chunking

Time Blocking is looking at the time we have in our day and our week not as just a blank white canvas, but instead, as opportunity divvied up into bite size pieces.

It is assigning important work that needs done today and this week to the time we have, instead of hoping that we can cram it all in without a plan to make that happen. It lets our brain work on one topic or category at a time. Because, my friend, multi-tasking is a myth. 

All projects are comprised of a series of smaller projects.

I can realize some flow and economies of scale when I work on similar tasks at the same time.  When I work on my bookkeeping tasks, I open Quicken, my client hours spreadsheet and PayPal.com, and I can toggle between those three to get things done.

Another great thing about time blocking is that it dictates what we ARE NOT working on right now. I find this very important.  It would be soooo easy to get off track, react to an email, start on a personal or house project and disregard my time blocking and tasks lists!

Time blocking creates urgency within the block, a series of mini-deadlines throughout my day, which helps me to stay productive. For example, today, with it being a holiday week, it is a less structured day with fewer actual appointments, but time blocking helps me to make appointments with myself.

I didn’t realize that other people don’t work this way. I definitely credit my use of this strategy to being a business owner, and working my own professional and personal tasks in around client appointments.

For example, on a given Thursday,

  • One client appointment is in-person from 8:30 am – 11 am and is a 10 minute drive from my home.
  • Then I have a short break for my drive home and some lunch, then I have three virtual client coaching appointments from noon to 3.
  • Those are my paid working hours for that Thursday.  And the time I spend with my clients is focused solely on that client.  
  • In addition to my client hours, however, I also have MY work. 
  • I chose Thursday as an example, because on Thursday, I take care of bookkeeping tasks and Speaking Engagement tasks.

Realistically my schedule for that Thursday could look like this:

  • 6 – 7 am Personal Block: Morning routine, prayer, exercise, shower and get ready
  • 7 – 7:20 am Maintenance Block: make my bed, wipe down the bathroom, start laundry, tidy kitchen while taking my vitamins, making coffee and my lunch
  • 7:20 – 8 am Admin Block: checking email, texts and my social media accounts before I leave
  • 8 – 8:30 am Load up my self and driving to my client
  • 8:30 -11 am Work with client
  • 11 – Noon, drive home, eat lunch, check in on texts and emails, take a brain break
  • Noon-3, 3 hours of coaching calls. This is my paid time, services delivered, billable hours
  • 3 – 3:15 pm Take a break break, grab a snack. Then I start MY WORK:
  • 3:15- 4 pm MONEY / Bookkeeping: Look at work log, send out invoices, update quicken for deposits and spending, create invoices for upcoming speaking gigs and send those out via email
  • 4 – 4:30 pm  Speaking:  Send out emails to site coordinators to confirm upcoming events, share upcoming events on my social media accounts
  • 4:30 – 6 pm Speaking: work on new presentation content, power point presentation and handouts.

There will probably be a little more work later, too, but that may be personal in nature at my laptop, like reading articles of interest, meal planning.

What I just did there was time blocking, or time chunking. I pair up the high priority tasks that I need to accomplish today with the available time I have to complete them.

The first step of Time Blocking is more than just the first step of Time Blocking. And I say that with a smile.  Time Blocking is a great tool to get things done, AND it requires some ground work that we have already covered in my articles, podcasts and newsletters

The ground work for time blocking is:

  • to review our calendar for the day and the week;
  • planning, and also flexibility in planning;
  • to prioritize our important work; and
  • to know our focus areas and what is important to us.
  • Time blocking requires, but also helps us create realistic time estimates – knowing how long our tasks actually take.
  • If I am struggling with overwhelm or with prioritizing, I may go so far as to assign 5 minute increments to the tasks on my to-do list, to determine if I can feasibly tackle the tasks in the block that I have assigned them to. Time blocking requires but also fosters the understanding that all projects are comprised of a series of smaller projects.

To Review, Time Blocking helps us get more done. More importantly, it helps us get our high priority work done. We start with looking at our day and week and at our high priority tasks. We group those high priority tasks into batches with similar themes, we assign those tasks to the time you have available this week. And if you’re currently saying – I have NO TIME to work on my high priority tasks this week, then it is time to be flexible!

Give Time Blocking a try!

Truth? Some Things Don’t Get Done, And That’s OK.

Hello, friends. It’s mid-December. 

I ran into a friend at Costco. If you live anywhere near me, you recognize that as a loaded statement. My Costco is a solid 32 minute drive from my house, so one does not embark on this adventure lightly.

Second, it was a Sunday in December, midday. I know. It seemed like a good idea at the time, but I was doubting my sanity as soon as I pulled into the parking lot. Of course it was packed.  So, crowded yes, but everyone was actually very pleasant.

My friend and I were both parked on the outskirts of the parking lot. As we walked to the entrance, we discussed an upcoming event we are both volunteering for, for our school district (her much more than me!). And she was kind enough to say, she just doesn’t know how I get it all done, considering all the things I’m involved in. And I marvel at her and her productivity in the same way.

I appreciate her, though, for seeing me in a good light.  As in, ‘look at all the different things you’re involved in and the different ways you serve our community, and that you get things done’. Because I got to tell you, friends, I do not always feel like I’ve got it all together.

And this is coming from a professional organizer and organizational coach!

So here’s the deal. I say yes to a lot of things. I successfully manage many responsibilities. I do. And that is a source of pride and it makes me happy to do these things. I absolutely love all the different organizations and activities and ministries that I’m involved in. And even when I don’t, it’s not that I don’t love the things, it’s that too many tasks are coming due at the same time period.

Yeah, that is definitely the truth.

So, I was writing a much different article for today about prioritization and focus areas, about triaging the to do list and starting the January list. And all of that is still true.

But I want to answer my friend’s question honestly, when she asks “How do you get it all done?”

First, the short answer is, sometimes I don’t.

More fully, the answer is, I ruthlessly prioritize, because saying yes to many things means I can’t also say yes to other things. And I know that. So there are opportunities that might come my way that I have to say no to, because I do not have the time or energy to dedicate to that task or responsibility to do it well.

I’m not saying I don’t have time and energy. I have boundless energy most days and the same amount of time that each of us has. But because I have multiple responsibilities, I can’t always say yes to new things.

And that’s frustrating for me, I know. But the other part of that, especially this time of year, is the ruthless prioritization. I’ve already said yes to many things, and so now I need to figure out how to make it all happen. And that is where prioritization comes in.

If you and your December are anything like me and mine, the to-do list might be looking a little long right now.

It is likely time to triage that to-do list.  This week, let’s clear the clutter from our to-do lists and brains!

Easier said than done,  I know. But to make sure we are getting things done that need to get done, it’s time to ruthlessly prioritize what must be done this month, and also start the list for January and 2024!

That was a long introduction to this week’s topic, how to ruthlessly prioritize the To-Do List!

This morning, I was applying the Eisenhower box to my to-do list – remember that tool?  The podcast episode was early on, go back and check it out if you need a refresher! Eisenhower filtered tasks through the Important vs. Non-Important and Urgent vs Non-Urgent lenses.

And we’re going to do this in reverse:

Delete:

Instead of starting with important and urgent, let’s look at the list and get rid of anything that can be deleted immediately. Things like events you don’t have the time or inclination to attend this month (A “No, Thank You” is a full sentence!), a moratorium on facebook or instagram scrolling for a few days, etc.

Delegate:

After deleting the clutter, let’s look to Delegate.  In the Eisenhower box, there are tasks that are deemed urgent but not important, as in it’s not important that I be the one to complete them. Consider what someone else could do for you.  And let them do it.

We’re hosting Christmas for my family in Michigan on December 23.  And I will be outsourcing many menu items.  Unlike Thanksgiving for 20, I am not attached to making every menu item from scratch, etc. 

If you have house specific tasks, can you hire a service?  barter for time?  rent a teenager or college student?

Perhaps it is work specific, and I am terrible at this one, but I’m working in it!  Is there anyone else on the team with less on their plate that could pick up tasks? And for me, Delegation also looks like NOT saying yes to more tasks, and letting others step up instead.

Decide / Defer:

Next up is the Defer step.  Tasks that are deemed important but not urgent are on the Defer list.

A few weeks back in an episode, I mentioned a January list. There are likely items on your task list that are important but they are not yet time specific.  So, in the interest of getting  the things that MUST be done, done lets look at what we can put off for a bit.

Routine doctor appointments, house projects not related to Christmas, non -holiday related errands – yep, those can all be turfed to January at this point.

As I think about this, I have “find a landscaper” on my to-do list.  And guess what?  That does not need to happen until at least February!  To be honest, I always have a running house project list, and I have to say – if there is a task on there that is not about the holidays, then we can move it to the January to-do list.

Some of my clients will defer organizing until January. Starting early in November, I typically have clients who ask for me to check in with them in January to book our next coaching or organizing session because they know their December is Full.

Medical appointments can also be booked January or into 2024.  Booking regular maintenance appointments is important, as in the fact that they are booked, but perhaps they don’t occur for a few months.  Just getting them on the calendar and then off your to-do list is the point!

Maybe events with friends or family, and now the December schedule is just packed – January could work!  And it would give us something to look forward to in the colder post-holiday glow months!

AND now – Do!  Important AND Urgent!

Now I know that the tasks on my list are things only I can do and that are time specific and therefore urgent. That also means that there are other things that won’t get done today, and I have to accept that. I can give myself grace, cut myself some slack, and assign those tasks to other times this week so they actually get done on time. That’s the way this works.

Ask yourself, “What are things that only I can do?” If we’re feeling strapped, we can start with doing the things that only we can do. As you’re looking at that To-Do list and it’s time to clear some clutter, I also want you to ask the question of  “What Can Only I do?”

I taught my Organize Your Holidays presentation this past week to a lovely group of parents, and we talked about doing all the things… unless they didn’t really feel the need.  For example, do we have to freak ourselves out and spend many hours super-cleaning our home to host guests, or can we relax a little and just host the guests in a clean-enough home?

I really love to bake cookies, but maybe you don’t.  And that’s ok. Sending out Christmas cards is a choice, and maybe you don’t choose to. And that’s ok, too.

There are many tasks I loaded onto this coming weekend after not getting them accomplished this past weekend, because we did so many other wonderful things this past weekend. There are many tasks that I’ve already turfed to January.

WE can delegate tasks that can be done by others.  We can skip the un-important “shoulds” we feel from others and focus on our own traditions. 

We can get things done, AND we can be OK with not getting things done, too. Let’s look at ourselves through kinder eyes, like the eyes and perception of my friend. Be a friend to yourself this week!

Positive Self Talk Changes Your Life In A Good Way!

Did you know?  Statistically speaking, the person you speak to most in your day is… Yourself.

Let’s say, when you’re in your car alone for extended periods of time, you may discover you have a tendency to talk to yourself. (Ok, maybe that’s just me.) For example, I recorded the content of this article on a late night solo drive home from seeing my son in a show in Indiana.

I know I have a tendency to talk to myself. A funny thing, early in lockdown when we were suddenly 5 people in the house together ALL THE TIME, my husband asked me about the conversations I was having with myself!

Do you talk to yourself? (The answer is likely “Yes”, whether out loud or just in your head). And more importantly, what do you say?

Today I want to talk about the importance of positive self talk.

We all learn in different ways. We have ways of processing, learning, organizing. In coaching we refer to these as processing modalities. The 4 most commonly discussed are seeing or visual learners, doing or kinesthetic learners, hearing or auditory learners, and speaking, or verbal learners. And we’re all a blend of all of those. Someone who learns by speaking out loud is called a verbal learner or a verbal processor.

A strength of mine is to verbally process. I am a paid, professional speaker, and a professional cantor, which means I get paid to sing. I enjoy podcasting, and writing articles and sending out a newsletter to my community for the last 15 years. Obviously, verbal processing and communicating for me is a strength. I learn things as I hear myself say them out loud. If you aren’t a verbal processor, it’s possible that you don’t understand what I was just talking about. But if you are a verbal processor or know one!, you will know exactly what I’m talking about when I say that.

What we say matters, and what we hear ourselves say matters.

Imagine with me: I was working with a client a few weeks ago. She is such a treasure, just delightful. My client is a verbal processor, and she was talking to me because I was in the space with her, but mostly she was thinking out loud – verbally processing – as we worked on organizing and clearing clutter in her space.

She was thinking out loud, verbalizing what was going on in her mind. She was doing a great job. She was asking herself really good questions. Do I need this? How can I set this space up best? And she was open to questions from me, as well, to help her through the process. She knew the questions to ask herself, and we held space together for her to work through those, with support if she wanted to talk things out a little more. (That is one of the beauties of coaching, so awesome).

She was thinking out loud and at one point got frustrated with herself and started to say more negative things.

And

then

she

stopped.

She stopped, and realized what she was doing and shifted to saying beautiful, loving and kind things to herself instead. And I was there to witness this beautiful habit.

Our self talk tends to trend negative. Too often, my inner monologue can trend to “Colleen, what is wrong with you? How could you let it get to this?” I think that can happen to all of us.

And we can say out loud that that’s not helpful. As a coach, well, really as a fellow human being, I would never ask you those questions because first of all, they’re mean. And secondly, they’re wrong.

I admired her awareness that the negative self talk was happening. I admired that she know that negative self talk was not a good and healthy habit. And SHE CHANGED HER BEHAVIOR!

Just like my client, when our self talk turns negative, we need to be aware that it’s happening, know that we need to change and then make the change!

Our negative self-talk is often a product of other messages we receive, from society or a teacher in 2nd grade or a sharp-tongued loved one as we grew up. And we can start believing it, even when we know the messages are not helpful and maybe even wrong. Whether it’s right or wrong, true or not true to us, the repetition can make us us start to believe it.

There is good news, though! I am here to share that the opposite is true, too. My client changed her inner soundtrack to positive self talk. So can you. And so can I.

BECAUSE HAVING A POSITIVE INTERNAL SOUNDTRACK CAN CHANGE YOUR LIFE IN A GOOD WAY!

We need to shift our inner monologue, our personal narrative, our self talk. If we tell ourselves over and over, silently or out loud, that we are too busy and too stressed and the week is a total mess at 7 am on Monday, then – well – that is what we will believe. Except that is not helpful and that is not true.

Let’s shift that self talk. We need to be positive with ourselves because some times the world is harsh enough. Right? We don’t need anybody else telling us that it’s a hard life or a hard day, etc. We already know that. We don’t need to say it because it just reinforces the negative. I am not suggesting to lie to ourselves or ignore the obvious, but we can be our own best friend, our own biggest fan and cheerleader, and set ourselves up to succeed.

Every morning, I say out loud my “I Am Statements”. I start my day with positive self talk. And if I say them out loud but still are not feeling positive, I say them all again! Here’s what I say:

  • “I am stronger,
  • I am worthy,
  • I am wealthy,
  • I am loved,
  • I am vibrant,
  • I am wise,
  • I am beautiful,
  • I am smart,
  • I am kind,
  • I am patient,
  • I am generous,
  • I am successful,
  • I am healthy,
  • I am humble,
  • I am grateful,
  • I am brave,
  • I am blessed,
  • I am a blessing,
  • I am forgiving,
  • I am committed to growth,
  • I am a learner,
  • I am a builder,
  • I am committed to being my best self,
  • I am a Child of God.”

What do you want someone to say to you? Be that supportive person for yourself!

What can you say to yourself every day, to make your day and outlook more positive?

How can you be kind to yourself?

Make your list! Make it as long or as short as you want! (Check out Pinterest or Instagram if you need inspiration!!!)

I was speaking with a coaching client a few weeks ago. She has been working through some really difficult tasks over the past few months and I am so proud and happy for her and her progress. But much more importantly, SHE is proud of herself for doing difficult things and is happy with her progress. And she said, as we were discussing her positive self talk, “There are some things I have to say out loud.  Just thinking them isn’t loud enough.” Isn’t that awesome? The good stuff can’t be kept inside – just thinking them isn’t loud enough, they need to be said out loud!

Let’s say the good stuff out loud!!

We Never Really Have to Start From Scratch!

We Never Really Have to Start From Scratch! We don’t have to start over.

Do future you a favor. Take notes. And refer back to them.

I was inspired to write about today’s topic by a recent experience. Of course, because that is usually what inspires me!

Let me set it up for you:

One Saturday morning every other month, a group of parishioners from my Parish assemble 150 bag lunches for a local charitable organization to distribute to their community. That Saturday in November was a few weeks ago.

My friend Kristen organizes the service project every time.  This was our 4th morning so far, we started back in May.  We have added people from month to month, and occasionally one of the regulars can’t attend, but there is typically a team of 10 or so adults and some students seeking service hours. 

We are learning, and we get better at the process every month, every time we do it, which is great. And one of the reasons we get better at it is we don’t start from scratch every time, because, honestly, why should we?

Why shouldn’t we learn from every experience? And yes, we can learn from every experience, but also importantly, we need to remember what we learn.

In addition to learning from the experience, we also need to retain or review or make a note of that.

And here’s the deal – if we do something… occasionally… it’s not yet a habit or a routine.

How often we do something and in what time interval are two factors that impact how much we remember from time to time.  If we don’t necessarily remember all the details every time, that’s okay, because sometimes we don’t, and that’s all right. But we can learn from our experiences and get better at doing things!

In my productivity presentations, I mention recipes, and I’m not talking my corn casserole recipe, even though its Thanksgiving time, even though I have no problem sharing that. I mean, recipes as in a path for future you to take. 

In my presentations, I mention those complex tasks we occasionally complete. Often enough to want to get good at it, but not often enough that it’s become natural or a habit.  The example I use in my class is balancing my company’s monthly banking statements.

When I switched my banking years ago, I connected a credit card to my account for purchases.  My banking and bookkeeping are very simple processes now that they are well established, but when I first made the switch, I would stumble from month to month – log into the banking website from my browser or connect Quicken from the quicken platform?  Make a note in quicken regarding paying my credit card bill from my spending account, or pay the bill first and then update the transactions from quicken?

Every month, when the process was new, I would stumble.

So I leave myself a note.  A short list: open quicken, log into banking website, pay credit card bill on banking website, go to quicken, go to credit card tab, click reconcile, click accept all, make note in Quicken.

To use the service example, after we make lunches, we take a few minutes to talk about what worked and what to tweak next time. For example,

  • We write down who volunteered today.
  • We make note of who showed up in answer to the bulletin article, and collect their email so we can alert them next time.
  • Maybe it’s logistics: “We always start with wiping down tables and putting on gloves” or we “need three plastic table cloths instead of 2”
  • Or, about the process: “We need to start with the longest step first and get that rolling, focus on getting the sandwich assembly line started first.“
  • And “Let’s make sure to confirm the time with the school students who need service hours“.

This is a pretty low pressure situation, to be honest – we have a solid team and the work isn’t difficult.  But we are on the clock, as the lunches need to be delivered by a certain time to the mission who is distributing them. And we still want to do things efficiently and effectively. My friend writes down notes and learning, and the ideas and a plan for next time.

Here’s another example of wanting to do things well and leaving notes from next time.

This time of year, I think of my client who has an orange binder in the cabinet above her kitchen desk. It’s the Thanksgiving binder and it really does contain all things Thanksgiving. She always hosts Thanksgiving.  It’s a big family affair, lots of people bring lots of things, and it’s lovely.

And so from year to year, they make notes in the Thanksgiving binder. For example,

  • How many people were there, and who?
  • What recipes did we use? Who brought what and how much?
  • How about “So and So made made the gravy and it was delicious!”
  • Or “We picked up a pie from such and such bakery, and it was a big hit“.
  • We can write about what worked well and what didn’t, or what did we do well and what could be better.

We can keep notes of those things because we would absolutely forget if we didn’t keep track!  When the service morning rolls around again, Kristen will check her notes that she made and start from there as we set up who is scheduled to help and who needs to bring what.  She already has a plan for next time.  That’s the third or fourth time I have said that today.  Let’s relish in that for a minute.  A plan for next time. Based on what we know and what we continue to learn. 

That sounds pretty great to me.