Truth? Some Things Don’t Get Done, And That’s OK.

Hello, friends. It’s mid-December. 

I ran into a friend at Costco. If you live anywhere near me, you recognize that as a loaded statement. My Costco is a solid 32 minute drive from my house, so one does not embark on this adventure lightly.

Second, it was a Sunday in December, midday. I know. It seemed like a good idea at the time, but I was doubting my sanity as soon as I pulled into the parking lot. Of course it was packed.  So, crowded yes, but everyone was actually very pleasant.

My friend and I were both parked on the outskirts of the parking lot. As we walked to the entrance, we discussed an upcoming event we are both volunteering for, for our school district (her much more than me!). And she was kind enough to say, she just doesn’t know how I get it all done, considering all the things I’m involved in. And I marvel at her and her productivity in the same way.

I appreciate her, though, for seeing me in a good light.  As in, ‘look at all the different things you’re involved in and the different ways you serve our community, and that you get things done’. Because I got to tell you, friends, I do not always feel like I’ve got it all together.

And this is coming from a professional organizer and organizational coach!

So here’s the deal. I say yes to a lot of things. I successfully manage many responsibilities. I do. And that is a source of pride and it makes me happy to do these things. I absolutely love all the different organizations and activities and ministries that I’m involved in. And even when I don’t, it’s not that I don’t love the things, it’s that too many tasks are coming due at the same time period.

Yeah, that is definitely the truth.

So, I was writing a much different article for today about prioritization and focus areas, about triaging the to do list and starting the January list. And all of that is still true.

But I want to answer my friend’s question honestly, when she asks “How do you get it all done?”

First, the short answer is, sometimes I don’t.

More fully, the answer is, I ruthlessly prioritize, because saying yes to many things means I can’t also say yes to other things. And I know that. So there are opportunities that might come my way that I have to say no to, because I do not have the time or energy to dedicate to that task or responsibility to do it well.

I’m not saying I don’t have time and energy. I have boundless energy most days and the same amount of time that each of us has. But because I have multiple responsibilities, I can’t always say yes to new things.

And that’s frustrating for me, I know. But the other part of that, especially this time of year, is the ruthless prioritization. I’ve already said yes to many things, and so now I need to figure out how to make it all happen. And that is where prioritization comes in.

If you and your December are anything like me and mine, the to-do list might be looking a little long right now.

It is likely time to triage that to-do list.  This week, let’s clear the clutter from our to-do lists and brains!

Easier said than done,  I know. But to make sure we are getting things done that need to get done, it’s time to ruthlessly prioritize what must be done this month, and also start the list for January and 2024!

That was a long introduction to this week’s topic, how to ruthlessly prioritize the To-Do List!

This morning, I was applying the Eisenhower box to my to-do list – remember that tool?  The podcast episode was early on, go back and check it out if you need a refresher! Eisenhower filtered tasks through the Important vs. Non-Important and Urgent vs Non-Urgent lenses.

And we’re going to do this in reverse:

Delete:

Instead of starting with important and urgent, let’s look at the list and get rid of anything that can be deleted immediately. Things like events you don’t have the time or inclination to attend this month (A “No, Thank You” is a full sentence!), a moratorium on facebook or instagram scrolling for a few days, etc.

Delegate:

After deleting the clutter, let’s look to Delegate.  In the Eisenhower box, there are tasks that are deemed urgent but not important, as in it’s not important that I be the one to complete them. Consider what someone else could do for you.  And let them do it.

We’re hosting Christmas for my family in Michigan on December 23.  And I will be outsourcing many menu items.  Unlike Thanksgiving for 20, I am not attached to making every menu item from scratch, etc. 

If you have house specific tasks, can you hire a service?  barter for time?  rent a teenager or college student?

Perhaps it is work specific, and I am terrible at this one, but I’m working in it!  Is there anyone else on the team with less on their plate that could pick up tasks? And for me, Delegation also looks like NOT saying yes to more tasks, and letting others step up instead.

Decide / Defer:

Next up is the Defer step.  Tasks that are deemed important but not urgent are on the Defer list.

A few weeks back in an episode, I mentioned a January list. There are likely items on your task list that are important but they are not yet time specific.  So, in the interest of getting  the things that MUST be done, done lets look at what we can put off for a bit.

Routine doctor appointments, house projects not related to Christmas, non -holiday related errands – yep, those can all be turfed to January at this point.

As I think about this, I have “find a landscaper” on my to-do list.  And guess what?  That does not need to happen until at least February!  To be honest, I always have a running house project list, and I have to say – if there is a task on there that is not about the holidays, then we can move it to the January to-do list.

Some of my clients will defer organizing until January. Starting early in November, I typically have clients who ask for me to check in with them in January to book our next coaching or organizing session because they know their December is Full.

Medical appointments can also be booked January or into 2024.  Booking regular maintenance appointments is important, as in the fact that they are booked, but perhaps they don’t occur for a few months.  Just getting them on the calendar and then off your to-do list is the point!

Maybe events with friends or family, and now the December schedule is just packed – January could work!  And it would give us something to look forward to in the colder post-holiday glow months!

AND now – Do!  Important AND Urgent!

Now I know that the tasks on my list are things only I can do and that are time specific and therefore urgent. That also means that there are other things that won’t get done today, and I have to accept that. I can give myself grace, cut myself some slack, and assign those tasks to other times this week so they actually get done on time. That’s the way this works.

Ask yourself, “What are things that only I can do?” If we’re feeling strapped, we can start with doing the things that only we can do. As you’re looking at that To-Do list and it’s time to clear some clutter, I also want you to ask the question of  “What Can Only I do?”

I taught my Organize Your Holidays presentation this past week to a lovely group of parents, and we talked about doing all the things… unless they didn’t really feel the need.  For example, do we have to freak ourselves out and spend many hours super-cleaning our home to host guests, or can we relax a little and just host the guests in a clean-enough home?

I really love to bake cookies, but maybe you don’t.  And that’s ok. Sending out Christmas cards is a choice, and maybe you don’t choose to. And that’s ok, too.

There are many tasks I loaded onto this coming weekend after not getting them accomplished this past weekend, because we did so many other wonderful things this past weekend. There are many tasks that I’ve already turfed to January.

WE can delegate tasks that can be done by others.  We can skip the un-important “shoulds” we feel from others and focus on our own traditions. 

We can get things done, AND we can be OK with not getting things done, too. Let’s look at ourselves through kinder eyes, like the eyes and perception of my friend. Be a friend to yourself this week!

Positive Self Talk Changes Your Life In A Good Way!

Did you know?  Statistically speaking, the person you speak to most in your day is… Yourself.

Let’s say, when you’re in your car alone for extended periods of time, you may discover you have a tendency to talk to yourself. (Ok, maybe that’s just me.) For example, I recorded the content of this article on a late night solo drive home from seeing my son in a show in Indiana.

I know I have a tendency to talk to myself. A funny thing, early in lockdown when we were suddenly 5 people in the house together ALL THE TIME, my husband asked me about the conversations I was having with myself!

Do you talk to yourself? (The answer is likely “Yes”, whether out loud or just in your head). And more importantly, what do you say?

Today I want to talk about the importance of positive self talk.

We all learn in different ways. We have ways of processing, learning, organizing. In coaching we refer to these as processing modalities. The 4 most commonly discussed are seeing or visual learners, doing or kinesthetic learners, hearing or auditory learners, and speaking, or verbal learners. And we’re all a blend of all of those. Someone who learns by speaking out loud is called a verbal learner or a verbal processor.

A strength of mine is to verbally process. I am a paid, professional speaker, and a professional cantor, which means I get paid to sing. I enjoy podcasting, and writing articles and sending out a newsletter to my community for the last 15 years. Obviously, verbal processing and communicating for me is a strength. I learn things as I hear myself say them out loud. If you aren’t a verbal processor, it’s possible that you don’t understand what I was just talking about. But if you are a verbal processor or know one!, you will know exactly what I’m talking about when I say that.

What we say matters, and what we hear ourselves say matters.

Imagine with me: I was working with a client a few weeks ago. She is such a treasure, just delightful. My client is a verbal processor, and she was talking to me because I was in the space with her, but mostly she was thinking out loud – verbally processing – as we worked on organizing and clearing clutter in her space.

She was thinking out loud, verbalizing what was going on in her mind. She was doing a great job. She was asking herself really good questions. Do I need this? How can I set this space up best? And she was open to questions from me, as well, to help her through the process. She knew the questions to ask herself, and we held space together for her to work through those, with support if she wanted to talk things out a little more. (That is one of the beauties of coaching, so awesome).

She was thinking out loud and at one point got frustrated with herself and started to say more negative things.

And

then

she

stopped.

She stopped, and realized what she was doing and shifted to saying beautiful, loving and kind things to herself instead. And I was there to witness this beautiful habit.

Our self talk tends to trend negative. Too often, my inner monologue can trend to “Colleen, what is wrong with you? How could you let it get to this?” I think that can happen to all of us.

And we can say out loud that that’s not helpful. As a coach, well, really as a fellow human being, I would never ask you those questions because first of all, they’re mean. And secondly, they’re wrong.

I admired her awareness that the negative self talk was happening. I admired that she know that negative self talk was not a good and healthy habit. And SHE CHANGED HER BEHAVIOR!

Just like my client, when our self talk turns negative, we need to be aware that it’s happening, know that we need to change and then make the change!

Our negative self-talk is often a product of other messages we receive, from society or a teacher in 2nd grade or a sharp-tongued loved one as we grew up. And we can start believing it, even when we know the messages are not helpful and maybe even wrong. Whether it’s right or wrong, true or not true to us, the repetition can make us us start to believe it.

There is good news, though! I am here to share that the opposite is true, too. My client changed her inner soundtrack to positive self talk. So can you. And so can I.

BECAUSE HAVING A POSITIVE INTERNAL SOUNDTRACK CAN CHANGE YOUR LIFE IN A GOOD WAY!

We need to shift our inner monologue, our personal narrative, our self talk. If we tell ourselves over and over, silently or out loud, that we are too busy and too stressed and the week is a total mess at 7 am on Monday, then – well – that is what we will believe. Except that is not helpful and that is not true.

Let’s shift that self talk. We need to be positive with ourselves because some times the world is harsh enough. Right? We don’t need anybody else telling us that it’s a hard life or a hard day, etc. We already know that. We don’t need to say it because it just reinforces the negative. I am not suggesting to lie to ourselves or ignore the obvious, but we can be our own best friend, our own biggest fan and cheerleader, and set ourselves up to succeed.

Every morning, I say out loud my “I Am Statements”. I start my day with positive self talk. And if I say them out loud but still are not feeling positive, I say them all again! Here’s what I say:

  • “I am stronger,
  • I am worthy,
  • I am wealthy,
  • I am loved,
  • I am vibrant,
  • I am wise,
  • I am beautiful,
  • I am smart,
  • I am kind,
  • I am patient,
  • I am generous,
  • I am successful,
  • I am healthy,
  • I am humble,
  • I am grateful,
  • I am brave,
  • I am blessed,
  • I am a blessing,
  • I am forgiving,
  • I am committed to growth,
  • I am a learner,
  • I am a builder,
  • I am committed to being my best self,
  • I am a Child of God.”

What do you want someone to say to you? Be that supportive person for yourself!

What can you say to yourself every day, to make your day and outlook more positive?

How can you be kind to yourself?

Make your list! Make it as long or as short as you want! (Check out Pinterest or Instagram if you need inspiration!!!)

I was speaking with a coaching client a few weeks ago. She has been working through some really difficult tasks over the past few months and I am so proud and happy for her and her progress. But much more importantly, SHE is proud of herself for doing difficult things and is happy with her progress. And she said, as we were discussing her positive self talk, “There are some things I have to say out loud.  Just thinking them isn’t loud enough.” Isn’t that awesome? The good stuff can’t be kept inside – just thinking them isn’t loud enough, they need to be said out loud!

Let’s say the good stuff out loud!!

Arriving On Time, in 5 Minute Increments!

You are a responsible human being.

Congratulations!

You make a conscious decision to not procrastinate on important thingsAlso, congratulations.

You have places to go and things to do, and you leave with time to get where you need to go.

Aces.

You don’t like to be late, and you don’t like to add unnecessary stress to your, or anyone else’s, day.

Rock on. 

And yet… sometimes you still run late.  Or get stressed. (And you can still be an amazing and responsible human being and still occasionally run late.)

But, what gives?

At an event last week, a person asked me exactly this question.

They do all the right things. 

They pay attention to their calendar, their schedules.

They respect their own time and others’ time.

They have a realistic time estimate of how long their regular commutes take.

They allot the proper amount of time to get where they are going.

This is all great news.

But they mentioned that even for the event that we were both attending that day, having left the office with what they considered plenty of time to get to where they were going, they still felt like they were running late and made it just on time.  There were clearly still snags, so we chatted some more.

The obvious fix could be adding in a few minutes extra for just in case, like just in case they got stopped by a co-worker in the hallway.  But they already do that.

So I asked a few more questions, since they have already conquered so many stumbles around planning, respect and awareness.  And because they were arriving with no time to spare and also still stressed.

And I asked if, when they were getting ready to leave to come to this event, if they had factored in the extra two or three minutes we all need as transition time.  And the answer was no.

You know, the “not necessarily-stand up and immediately leave their office” part, but the three to four minutes of small tasks that they might need to complete between the standing up and the leaving the office.

For example, taking their phone off the charger and putting it in their pocket.

Making sure they have their ID and key fob so they can get back in the office.

Checking the outside temperature on the weather app to determine if they need to grab their jacket.

Or glancing out the window and running back for an umbrella.

Getting almost to the door, and then taking the moment to log off their computer because they need to safely do that because they work in a shared workspace and they need to be safe and responsible with their computer.

Maybe they need to find their glasses or sunglasses.

You know, the “Pat the Pockets” sequence that takes time.

A client called it the floss and gloss, with a mirror next to the back door to check her smile.

So phone, keys, glasses.

So it’s not even necessarily like other people distracting them at this point, but it’s recognizing that very often stand up is also not leave time factor in anybody else into that equation.

In my article and podcast Never Be Late Again, we call this the difference between Load Time and Leave time

And, what if this person was going to walk across campus with a friend, and now they have to wait for their friend’s Pat the Pockets sequence.

The first suggestion for this person to arrive on time and and stress less is to be aware of what those leaving the office tasks are and how long they take, and factor those few extra minutes into their commute time.

The second suggestion  I had for this person to get better at leaving and arriving on time and stressing less is to take a few well-placed minutes at the end of our trip, too.  I called this the ambulance driver analogy in a recent podcast. But here is how it played out just yesterday here at my desk.

We went to the Bears Game yesterday.  It was a beautiful day on the lakefront, a great day for a football game, and we won! 

Security has special bag requirements so I carried my needed items (id, credit card, a few dollars, lip balm, a car key) in my pocket.   The usual, right?  And when I got  home, everything came out of my pocket and into a pile on my desk (it’s right by the door), before I changed my clothes and grabbed a glass of water. And within a few minutes, I sat down at my desk and filed all the things.  ID, cash and credit card back to my wallet, and wallet back in my purse. Key back on the keyring and clipped to my purse. Sunglasses and lip balm back in the front pocket of my purse. And if I do this consistently and trust the process, I don’t have to add the 10 minutes panicked scramble to find my car keys to my leaving the house next time process!

Next up are the 5 minutes dedicated to hidden time leaks.

This suggestion is inspired by a different conversation I had at the same event.  I was chatting with a fellow presenter about mom-time.  Because we do not live in a perfect world. 

We discussed planning for her child’s doctor appointment. And how if the appointment is at 10 am, and it takes 5 minutes to get there and 5 minutes to park and walk in, we still need to head out the door 30 minutes before.  Because…

  • someone will have forgotten something and need to run back in the house for it;
  • there are always forms to fill out;
  • it’s only one floor and you could take the stairs more quickly but the kids love to ride the elevator; and / or
  • doctor appointments are stressful enough without also running late for them.

We called this mom-time, because it happens to us all the time as moms.  But it could happen to any of us, truly.

Those unsaid words as we set up a doctor appointment – always leave time to fill out paperwork!, or always leave time to find a parking spot (hey, I live in Chicago, it’s a thing!), or if it’s winter, always leave time to scrape your car window if there’s snow or ice.

And the final 5 minute suggestion has to do with 5 minutes the day before

I’ve talked about Many Bag Days recently. 

And the event that I mentioned from last week?  Yes, that was a five bag day. Started the day (bag #1) with an early client appointment(bag #2), had to change my clothes (bag #3) and then head to this networking event where I was presenting (bags #4 and 5). Yes, it was a 5 Bag Day. 

And when I say I have a many bag day, those bags have to get packed at some point in my house and then also get into my car. So, the bags have to get packed, get lined up at the back door and then get into the car.

And really, that process starts with a few minutes per bag of planning. 

  • The purse and the go bag are always packed and ready.
  • But, the days I need to pack clothes for a costume change?  (I call that ‘pulling a superman’) Yep, I need to choose my clothes/shoes/jewelry and get it ready to travel.
  • And the presenting days?  For this event, I pulled out my promotional items, extra handouts, a bowl of candy (of course), clipboard and pens, a snack and a water bottle.  And I check all that over a day ahead, in case I need to restock anything.
  • None of these steps take a lot of time.  But if I left them all to the end, to the As I AM LEAVING THE HOUSE moment, I would be sooooo late.

The bags were waiting for me because the night before, I took time to mentally walk through my next day and determine what it was that I needed to do. Pre-planning is essential, because a Many Bag Day only works if the bags are already packed well before, or at least a bit before, we need to leave.

So, success in leaving and therefore arriving on time relies on small but consistent and quick habits around pre-planning, leaving and arriving.

Yes, we need to understand how long it takes us to get places, realistic time estimates are essential.

AND there are additional habits we can put in place to make our days run more smoothly. Adding in a few minutes before we leave, when we arrive home, added to our trip time and also the day before can make every transition more successful!

October is ADHD Awareness Month: More Than Just Awareness

October is ADHD (Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder) Awareness Month.

Last week, I spoke with one of my accountability partners, Laine.  Laine is the ADHD Coach that I want to be when I grow up. She’s amazing. If you’d like to know more, check out her website at http://thinkinganddoingskillscenter.com/.  She is always looking to reach and positively impact more students and adults with her coaching. 

On our accountability call, we discussed that this is the time of year when mid-quarter progress reports go home, and for many students, we find out that they are struggling with their grades and workload.

Perhaps a student hasn’t been diagnosed but the teacher or school administrator may start the conversation regarding testing and diagnosis. 

OR perhaps a student is diagnosed with ADHD but they haven’t necessarily found the strategies or skills, or aren’t using them, or need to explore more to help them do as well as they could in school.

Laine and took a moment to share our own stories about our experiences with ADHD for either ourselves or loved ones.  And I realized that I don’t tell ADHD stories, and that’s a disservice to you and to me and anybody who has ADHD.

Today, I want to talk about what ADHD is and what it looks like in ourselves and the people around us. We will increase awareness around ADHD and some symptoms that go along with it, and mention the strategies and skills that can be used to improve the lives of EVERYONE, including folks with ADHD. 

See what I did there?  I reminded all of us that the strategies that help folks with ADHD to manage their neurodiversity are the same strategies that can help us all on any given day.

To get us started, I want to share a conversation I had recently with a friend about her grown child with ADHD.  And keep in mind – we are not doing an in-depth study of ADHD today, because that would be impossible in one day. 

Today, we are increasing awareness!

This grown child, this young adult, is doing great, professionally speaking. They recently graduated from college, they have a new job in their field of study, they’re really excited about it, they’re just doing great.

But this young adult struggles beyond that.  In addition to a new job, they also have a new living arrangement in this new stage of life. And they are really struggling with all the change, the expectation to set up a home and to manage themselves. 

Of course I can’t coach a person who’s not there, that’s not how that works.  But I can increase awareness with this young adult’s loved one who is trying to understand where their young adult is coming from, and how to help.  And I respect that.  We can all start by recognizing there is more going on with every person than we may be aware of.

First, I asked “is the young adult diagnosed or not?”, and the answer was yes. Next, I asked if they received counseling or therapy specifically around their ADHD and where they may struggle, and the answer was no.

So this friend and I simply worked on ADHD Awareness together.

First, I want you to click over to and read an article I wrote for the basics, ADHD Awareness Month, For Yourself and for Others.

It’s not necessarily that people with ADHD have symptoms that are completely different than anybody else in a busy time of life or any other time. What makes it troublesome and what leads many of us to either get tested or get our loved ones tested for ADHD or other neuro-diversities is if the struggles happen more than occasionally, or are negatively impacting a person’s life. And by life I mean relationships, how they succeed or excel in school or professionally, or in whatever it is that they’re trying to achieve.

So we all have challenges some days with achievement or focus or productivity or motivation, but it’s when those challenges negatively impacts life for a certain amount of time, those are the red flags that say, okay, there’s more going on here, and we need to ask if perhaps this person is neurodivergent. Again, many of us display these characteristics. It’s the severity and the comorbidities, like folks with ADHD also suffering from higher rates of anxiety or depression, that make ADHD troublesome.

Back to my friend and her young adult.

For this friend and her grown child, we discussed that this young adult is able to excel at work but their home life and relationships suffer, and they are exhausted all the time.  I mentioned that, whereas I might have a busy day at work and I need to come home and take a half hour to shift gears and decompress before staring my next activity, someone with ADHD has worked much harder to be productive at work and to manage their challenges and may need much more time to regroup.

Let’s understand Masking.

People with ADHD and other people as well learn to cover up what may be considered culturally undesirable behaviors.  So little ones learn to not blurt out answers in the classroom or hop out of their seats when their energy tells them otherwise.  And they learn to manage and mask, but it also takes effort to NOT act this way.

Let’s understand, too, a different type of masking:

Children with ADHD are often not diagnosed until they reach transitions like elementary school to middle school, or middle school to high school, or even high school to college.  Strong and supportive parenting and learning environments are AWESOME but occasionally ADHD goes undiagnosed until a student reaches the point when their external coping supports (parents and teachers) no longer make up for the challenges from their ADHD.

Let’s understand Hyperfocus

Another characteristic of ADHD is Hyperfocus. ADHD is often misunderstood and underdiagnosed because people with ADHD may be able to hyper-focus on something that is interesting to them.  This is why ADHD is not a full enough name, because “Attention Deficit” is not always true.

And, for many people with ADHD, they are paying Attention to EVERYTHING. Did you know? When a person with ADHD looks like they’re not paying attention, it’s actually very likely that they are paying attention to absolutely everything in the room.  If they’re listening to their teacher talk about math or to a friend tell a story, or they’re trying to focus on the email in front of them, they are also hearing every background sound there is.

They are noticing how their clothing feels at every point that it touches their body.

They are noticing the temperature of the air around them, and the smell of the space.

They are noticing everything. Any pains that might be in their body. They notice it all. It’s not that they’re not paying attention. Attention deficit is actually a misnomer in some ways, because they’re processing input from everything.

And so what may look like inattentiveness is actually the fact that they are processing everything all the time. And they might not even know what’s happening. And where you think that it is a character flaw, defiance or something else, it might very well be that they have so many different signals coming in at any given point that they’re just taking a bit of time to process.

And again, that’s not necessarily specific to ADHD, but it is a common trait of somebody with ADHD.

Let’s Also understand Bandwidth, or spoons.

All of us have a certain amount of energy and focus and motivation to get things done every day.  And once those commodities are used up for the day, it’s time for rest.    Some people call these units of measure spoons.  So each of us starts with a certain number of spoons to use throughout the day. 

With me so far?

All of us consume the spoons.  And if we’re sick or sad, we may have fewer spoons than normal.  And some days we have to do hard things, which uses up our spoons faster.

A person with ADHD may have the same amount spoons as you and me when they start their day.  But they may use them faster than we do because they have to make themselves focus and motivate and get things done in  a certain way that isn’t how their brain is wired to work.

Now, let’s talk about recovery.

Just as a neurotypical person needs to rest and re-fuel to face another day, so does, of course, a person with ADHD.  But it may take longer. In addition to using spoons faster than others, a person with ADHD may take longer to replace the spoons.  Even a person with ADHD who is managing themselves well and getting the support they need knows that they MUST employ strategies and skills to rest and replenish.  And we have to respect that.

Somebody with ADHD, because they have been dealing with all of these external stimuli for so long, can absolutely maintain for a bit, and then they’re exhausted. And what takes you and I perhaps an hour or two, or a good night’s sleep, to recuperate from could take them days.

And I think where all of this is leading me to is right here:

Your awareness of ADHD or now doesn’t validate or invalidate a friend or loved one with ADHD.  Yes, there are people out there who believe ADHD doesn’t exist.

But today I want to increase awareness.  I want to show all of us that we all struggle sometimes.  People with ADHD and people without ADHD.

As I started this topic today, I mentioned that we don’t know where people are coming from. But now we know  more.  We know better.  And I was quoted back to myself last week, apparently I often say “when we know better we must do better” (I will credit this to Maya Angelou). 

No one is broken and no one needs fixed.  We just need to understand more about others, be aware there is more happening than we know and be ready to support others by educating ourselves.  More than 10% of the population has ADHD, whether you or they have been diagnosed or not.  You may have ADHD, and I guarantee you know people with ADHD.  Some who struggle and some who manage well.

We need to understand that it’s happening, and support ourselves and others with understanding, communication and education.

There are resources out there to help. Coaching, counseling, therapy. 

CHADD, https://chadd.org/, Children and Adults with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (CHADD)

ADD.org, Attention Deficit Disorder Association

There are tools to help individuals manage their ADHD and to support the folks who support people with ADHD. The best indicator for success is for everyone to understand ADHD Better. 

It’s Planning Day! For Me and For You!

I want to get back to the procrastination topics we started a few weeks ago, especially since I’ve been hearing from a lot of you about procrastination!

However… that is not where my brain is today. And instead of fighting my brain, I realized I could use this as a teaching and learning moment for you and for me! Procrastination is important, but it will still be waiting for me when i get back to it (a little procrastination joke there).

Instead, Today is Planning Day! Capital P, capitol D.

Planning Day is more than just a plan for the next hour or today or this week, even though those are great places to start!

PLANNING Day looks a little farther out. As in, Let’s look at this month, this quarter, this year! Where do I want to see me by November 1, or January 1, or by my next birthday?!

Today is a planning day for a lot of reasons. It’s a planning day because it is a new month and a new season.

Today is a planning day because it’s a new quarter. Q Four. I know, that sounds very business-y, but I am running a company here, so things sounds business-y from time to time. Even if I don’t say things like Q3 and Q4 out loud, I think in those terms all the time. Q Four matters, and I like to set goals for quarters and for the year.

Last week, at the end of the third quarter, I checked in on my Q3 goals to see what I had completed or not. And I am quite satisfied with my goal completion rate for Q3.

And now it’s time to look at what I want to accomplish before the end of 2023. It’s crazy to think about, right? Just this week, I have scheduled several organizing presentations for January and February of 2024. I already had some on the books, but now I have a whole lot more, which is very exciting, but seeing 2024 in print on the contracts, it is quite noteworthy.

For me, it’s a planning day because my oldest son and my daughter-in-law were married the end of September. And it was lovely. There were friends, there was family. The weather was perfect. Everything went smoothly. It’s just wonderful. And there was a lot of work and planning that went into that ahead of time, mostly on the part of the bride and groom. But it occupied my mind and parts of my schedule for the last couple of weeks, too. And now it is blessedly, wonderfully, complete. And then the rest of the world comes back in. It’s a planning day because I need to plot my course , post-wedding.

It’s a planning day, too, because October is my birth month, and I always feel retrospective around my birthday and also, eager to plot my course for the next year. A great time to check in on things, right?

Join me for Planning Day, here’s how!

First, Planning takes time. So set aside some time.

On my schedule this week, today did not start out as a planning day but some client cancellations provided some much needed white space. Sometimes, I end up planning as I drive (I think really clearly when I drive), or spontaneously in an early morning writing session. But, truly, Planning is too important to leave up to chance, so don’t do it that way!

My suggestion is, Don’t wait for a cancellation or a found opportunity. Put Big Picture Planning on the schedule! As I write this, I just hopped into my google calendar and scheduled planning sessions the last week in December and the first week in January.

Next, Give yourself some grace. I want to give myself grace and ask you to do the same in general, in life.

We are so quick to judge ourselves.

I was talking with a client yesterday – she knows who she is! – She was reporting that she didn’t get what she was supposed to get done since our last appointment. And then she mentioned she had COVID since our last appt. THAT MATTERS! That wins. That absolutely wins!

We took a moment to say, look at what you DID accomplish, even with a few weeks of not feeling so great! And we did that before we jumped into the day’s tasks.

I think I am the first one to do that to myself as well. I could look at my list and my schedule and go, oh wow, I’ve got all this stuff to do. What is wrong with me? And the answer is Nothing. Absolutely nothing is wrong with me, life happened. And it was amazing. And now I get to choose how else I want to spend my time.

Therefore, Grace.

Then, Look at the Done List:

I find this step fun and gratifying, but often overlooked. Last week or month or quarter, you got things done! Yeah you!

We can absolutely be proud of what we accomplished. And I am proud. So, look at that done list. Take a moment and bask and revel in what you DID get done.

Last week my accountability partner reminded me that in addition to all the other q3 goals I had, I also successfully helped my mom move to a new home in August. That wasn’t on the original q3 list, but it is noteworthy and made it on the Q3 done list!

A fellow organizing coach Shannon wrote in a recent FB post that she was ready to apologize for not posting a lot recently on SM (I’m guilty of that, too), but then she shifted her perspective and shared what she DID accomplish in the last month or two. And the list was long and fabulous, impressive, wonderful, amazing. And I really appreciated her shift in perspective. It came at just the right time for me to read as well, because it would be easy to get frustrated with what I need to do or what hasn’t gotten done.

OK, and now for the planning:

Look ahead. It’s time to take action, but if we haven’t planned, how do we know what the right action is? Yeah, there’s a truth bomb.

Without a plan, without having sat down and thought about these things, how do you actually know what the right action is?

So we’ve talked about focus areas and I think that’s a great place to start. For a refresher, check out episode #5 I think? Last Decmeber, 2022! Start with what is important to you!

Talking with a client on Monday, she was feeling discombobulated and I absolutely understand. And in the next breath, she was also telling me all the wonderful things that she did with and for her family recently, about a huge professional accomplishment and a huge work project that she successfully completed.

So I used the image of focus areas, but she kind of liked the idea of lanes, or columns on a whiteboard of the different areas of her life.

So family, kids, specific per family member. In addition, she is a professional musician and also has an artistic job not related to music, Home, personal, wellness, personal development. Each had a lane, and she saw them like traffic, with different lanes moving at different speeds but all in the same direction.

List your focus areas (for example, mine are School Board, Ministry, Home / Family, Personal / Wellness, Education and The Company.)

List those focus areas, and then jot down some reasonable 3 month goals, milestones or plans around those focus areas.

What that might look like for me:

In addition to regular board work, two Q4 School Board Goals are: we start a Policy Review this week for the next 6-12 months, and we also have our Annual Conference in November.

In addition to regular weekly ministry, two Q4 Ministry Goals are: my annual Baptismal Prep photo project, and Joyful and successful planning and completion of the liturgical Advent season; Because as a liturgical musician, Advent and Christmas are where it’s at!

Looking at Home and Family, successful Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays would be on the list. And under those items I would list some of the ways I will accomplish these, like communication with family members regarding events, completing the actual days, gift giving, celebrations, etc.

Education: I’ve dropped the ball in this area and 2 goals would be to complete my next certification with the ICD, and read 6 non-fiction books before 12/31/2023.

Looking at my company, I want to set on goal in each of my subcategories. So, one each – a Coaching Goal, Client Goal, Speaking Goal, Community Building Goal and Operations Goal. One thing that I need to accomplish today and this week, in addition to recording this particular podcast, is I also need to plan out my, content calendar for Q Four.

And I have to admit that I have been kind of I haven’t really made note of the plan.

There is a plan, but right now it’s in my head, and I need to actually jot it down per week as to what I want to talk about. If there’s articles I’ve already written that I can use as resources. And it will make my entire quarter go more smoother if I can get that at least on it’s not really on paper, but like, in my planning document today, that would be such a huge help.

PLANNING DAY!

So those are my focus areas. Let’s ask some questions:

  • What are your focus areas, what is important to you?
  • What is one thing that you would like to accomplish by the end of Q4?
  • What will you be proud to look back on, in three months?
  • What has been lingering around on your to-do list, and you know life will be so much better if you just get this thing squared away?
  • Where do I want to see myself by the time I hit my next birthday?
  • Throw in some easy goals, too! some goals are easy to see and even accomplish, but they still need to be listed! For example, obviously, Thanksgiving and Christmas will happen, whether I set them as a goal or not. But they become a place holder and a reminder – yes, these events will take effort, and also their successful completion warrants celebration and a feeling of accomplishment.
  • And leave some room for fun and joy!

So that’s my Planning Day!

So plan with me today or this week. So this is what I’m doing today, and I recommend at least once in a while that you do it for yourself as well.

And if this is one of those things that you need to go back and listen to when it’s Q One for 2024, great. I love it. Let’s do it.

I have these podcasts and articles available all the time to refer back to – 45 episodes so far – if there is something you need a refresher or reminder about.

I hope that you take some time for planning this week. Do it as a gift to yourself. Chart your course not just for the next hour or day or week, but also month and quarter and maybe even year.

I hope you found this helpful. I know it was helpful for me to talk it out, so thank you for listening!

Is It Really Procrastination? Or Are We Unknowing or Unable?

Perhaps you have noticed, or perhaps you haven’t: I don’t talk much about procrastination.

I think it’s time.

And that is funny, yes? That I’ve waited this long to talk about procrastination?

Yep, there’s that word. I don’t talk about it. Similar to my feelings that I shared in my article and podcast about Overwhelm, I feel the word Procrastination is overused and misunderstood.

Procrastination IS. That it exists is undeniable.  It is a feeling, a strategy, an occurrence. It’s a lot of things. It can be all of those things and more.

But I don’t talk about it because it’s also too easy. It is too easy to just wave off an occurrence of not getting something done and say, “Yes, I procrastinated.” It’s too easy, and it’s not helpful.

And that’s the bigger problem.  When it is used in conversation, the word Procrastination is not specific enough to actually help us figure out what the solution should be. We tend to only look at the symptom instead of digging deeper. 

Imagine: I have a stuffy nose. I can blow my nose, and that solves the current problem. But I get stuffy again.  Or blowing my nose DOESN’T solve the problem, and I’m still stuffy. Stuffy is a symptom, not the cause.  The cause may be allergies, a cold, the flu or something else.

Similarly, if we don’t look at WHY we’re procrastinating, or get specific around what exactly the problem is, we’re unlikely to make anything more than temporary progress. We need to get specific about procrastination, both the word and the event!

So, let’s get specific!

The definition of procrastination is “the action of delaying or postponing something:”, or to “willfully choose to NOT do something for absolutely no good reason”, or “to put off intentionally and habitually the doing of something that should be done”. Now, in truth, there are many people – all the time! – who willfully choose to not do something purely for the sake of not doing it.

So I’m not saying that it doesn’t exist, but I am saying that very often when we say, “Ugh, I need to stop procrastinating on this thing”, what we’re really saying is, I know that I need to do it and it’s important, but there’s still something stopping me from doing it. And so what could that be? Again, back to that overwhelm definition or that strategy when we were taking apart that word.

But today, we’re going to look at two reasons why we delay action that are mislabeled as procrastination. Sometimes we delay for no good reason, but sometimes we delay because we lack the know-how or the resources to get something done.

And this is going at be at least a 2 part series!

Let me share a few theories on why we procrastinate, or more specifically, why we call something procrastination, and it actually isn’t procrastination.

In my podcast and my writings, I have talked about essential structures in Coaching. They are Support, Self-knowledge, Action and Education.  And essential structures are the scaffolding. They’re the essential structures that are required for us to actually do things that need done. They are the things, the people, the habits, the knowledge that help us live what we consider successful lives. We have scaffolding, we have strategies that we can use to help us to live more successful lives.

And sometimes we don’t have those things that we need to take action on a task or a project. So we’re procrastinating on it because, for example, we lack the know-how to do something.

For example: I knew I wanted to formalize my business. But It took me months if not a year or two to determine if I needed my company structure to be a C Corp, an S Corp, or an LLC. I felt like I was procrastinating which is not comfortable for me! But in truth, I was thinking about it. I was researching my options, reading things online, working through worksheets. I did all the things, but I still lacked the knowledge to make the right decision. And even if I decided one way or the other, I lacked the legal expertise to actually set it up.

So it’s not that I wasn’t doing anything. I was taking steps, but they weren’t the right steps, because, honestly, that’s not my wheelhouse. Those are not my strengths. And thank goodness I figured that out.

I do not need to learn how to do it,  which is what I was unsuccessfully trying to do.

What I needed to do was find an expert and let them help me. So I called my attorney, Eileen, and said, “Hey, I’m trying to figure this out. You know me, you know my business. I want know formalize my business and register with the state, protect my name and my family’s assets, separating my company business from personal business.

She replied that I needed an LLC and that she could set that up for me. And every year, her office sends in my paperwork to the state to keep it current. It costs a certain amount, and I sign off on it every year, and then it was done. So that is an example of when what looks like procrastination was me not seeing the path forward until I called in an expert. Sometimes we lack the know how, and that’s okay.

Most importantly, being aware of what the real problem is can help us seek the right solution.

Another reaction of NOT DOING that we could call Procrastination may actually be a lack of resources.  Let’s define what a resource is. In this example, a resource is a commodity that we already possess. A resource is our own brain, our education, our experiences. It can be time, it can be money, it can be energy. When I talk about resources and productivity, those three – time, money and energy, are the three I talk about the most.

For example: For a very long time, I wanted to start a podcast. I was very excited at the prospect. I had it all thought out. I had reached out to and spoken with the expert in my community who had a successful podcast.  This expert became my producer Chris because he also hosts and produces podcasts for other people.

My brand community had asked me for a podcast. 

I am a pro at professional speaking and singing, so I’m comfortable behind a microphone.

Many people struggle with consistent content for a podcast, but I was already in the habit of producing content every week for my community, so that wasn’t a stretch.

I had a plan.  I had the know how. I had the supportive people around me, to help me with it, too.

But what I was worried about were resources. Finding the time to add another task, another responsibility to my already full to-do list. 

This was not news. I knew I wanted to start a podcast for years, but I did not have the time to add the podcast in while in the midst of everything else, working full time, managing a household, being present for my family, doing all the things that I needed to do.

Last Fall, my youngest left for college.  And if I haven’t mentioned lately, I adore my kids, my people.  They are the coolest humans on the planet. I do not begrudge one moment I have spent with them.

But I didn’t procrastinate on starting the podcast as much as I chose to not make it happen for a time.  As my responsibilities shifted, I launched my podcast in November of last year. 

Sure, I talked about it for a long time without acting.  At times, when I was frustrated with myself, I would accuse myself of procrastination. But honestly, I knew the opportunity was coming soon and I was waiting for the resource of time became available, and that is the answer. I wasn’t procrastinating as much as I was recognizing how I and the people around me needed to spend my resources.

And what is the awareness here?

Don’t use the term procrastination without digging deeper! Are you procrastinating around something because you don’t know HOW to do it?  Or you lack the resources to make it happen? Well then let’s call the problem what it really is – a lack of know how or resources, and then actively do something to remedy the problem!

Find Focus and Fight Distraction!

Recently, I recorded a live video on my back deck. I wanted to talk about Focus. I was feeling out of focus, just blurry. And I was taking steps to get back on track and thought that would be helpful to my community to talk through.

What is really funny to me is that the video did not go well!

The day before, a friend had mentioned that she had “seen my car videos on Instagram”. I do not want that to Be The Thing! “Colleen recording from her Car”! So, I wanted to shake things up a little. I couldn’t record from my front stairs, as I have also done, because we were watering the grass that morning. So, back deck was plan C. I scrapped the first recording. On my second try, as soon as I started recording, my neighbor came out of his house (I live in the Chicago area and my back door is very close to my neighbor’s back door). So I adjusted. And then his dog – and I like my neighbors and the dog – started barking. And then there was a train a mile away that decided to blow its horn. A Lot.

You get the idea.

And this was a recording about focus. Life is just funny.

Sometimes I feel out of focus. I think we all do.

I could spend time dissecting WHY I lost focus. And that is important long term, I suppose. Personally, I am clear on WHY I was feeling unfocused last week. But for today’s purpose, I want to talk about how to find focus again, sharing basic tools to Find Focus and Fight Distraction.

First, we have to start with recognizing the lack of focus. Then, we can think about what to do about it!

When I teach productivity and time management, I mention that one of the most empowering things to know is that we ourselves can change and improve our situation for better productivity and satisfaction. Knowing there are adjustments that I can make helps me to feel better immediately!

So the topic of Focus, and what adjustments we can make when focus is lacking. Because I know for me, I can’t always force focus. And sometimes I try. Early in lockdown, it came to light that I talk to myself while I work from home. Often, to loudly tell myself to FOCUS! And yelling at me, forcing focus… doesn’t work.

Let’s look at what DOES work!

  • The first step, as it always is in coaching, is Awareness. In this case, awareness that you’re out of focus.
  • I have several check-in points in my days:
    • I can use times of transition – like leaving the house, or coming home, or leaving a client’s house or arriving at my next appointment; or
    • There are natural times, too, like getting up, getting out of the shower, transitioning from work day to family time, etc., and these are all great opportunities to check in on myself and my focus.
  • Many times a day, I do a Body Scan
    • If I am feeling unfocused, I can ask some easy questions and check in with me.
    • First question is, What needs need to be met?
      • Maybe I am STARVING! Yep, that can steal focus and cause distraction.
        • Blood sugar can dip, our brains (and bodies) need food and energy to function.
      • Maybe I am Thirsty.
      • I can check in on that body scan – is there anywhere that I am holding tension? Do I have pain or discomfort anywhere?
      • Am I too hot or too cold? I have to say, in summer, I often find myself unfocused because my office is REALLY HOT in the late afternoon and that makes me drowsy. So, I can pull the blinds, turn on a fan, move to a different area of the house, etc! If I’m aware!
      • Maybe it’s time to get up, stretch, take a nature break, etc!
  • Awareness, too – Here is something we don’t often realize that affects us: Our senses.
    • Working in a too dark or too light room can be distracting, even if we don’t realize it. So, check in!
    • Noises – more or less – yes, these matter, too!  Often, we have auditory distractions that are not consciously registering.  So, intentionally scan our selves and our surroundings can help us adjust our environment
  • Other tools we can use:
    • Breathwork:
      • Also in my time management classes, I teach basic breathwork.
      • I teach my participants square breathing – Inhale for 4 counts, hold for 4 counts, exhale for 4 counts and hold 4 counts. That’s IT! This can be a 30-60-90 second exercise – I usually call it a mini-vacation – where we concentrate just on our breath.
      • The re-focusing of our thoughts with the added bonus of an more oxygenated brain almost always helps me to refocus.
    • The Pomodoro Method for productivity,
      • The cycle of 25 minutes of work and 5 minutes of rest that we practice in my Finish Line Friday sessions is a tool I use ALL DAY EVERY DAY to get things done.
      • 25 minutes of work 5 minutes of break, and the reminders to re-focus, just in case I have gotten off track.
      • If we’re going to talk about rest, that leads me to the reminder of my recent podcast on rest and recovery. Check that out if you would like to know more.
    • Body Doubling:
      • If you find you’re feeling distracted, and lacking focus, by all means try some of these other tools as well, but also consider phoning or checking in w a friend via text, then open a zoom room or join a group!
      • You can change your location, too, to work near someone around you who IS focused. Since it’s back-to-school time, I think of a library.
      • In college, I would set up in the library and the entire space was dedicated to focus! Quiet, separate from personal distractions, just the work I needed to do in front of me, and other people around me who were seeking the same focused work! So consider what that looks like for you!
  • What does finding your focus look like to you? Consider these tools next time you feel the focus un-focusing!

How To Help Future You!

Last week in a video on Social Media, I asked the question “What would help you the most to be done with, to get completed this week?”

As in, asking myself: “If I could get this one thing… (fill in blank here…) done:

  • a lot of other things would fall into place;
  • I wouldn’t have to spend anymore mental energy on it;
  • I could move on to other tasks or projects; or
  • I could just stop thinking about it!”

For me, the answer last week was: moving clients to the scheduled column; and taking care of some errands that were once-and-dones (and not recurring errands).

Also, last week, I attended my monthly Leadership / Non-profit Mastermind meeting where we discussed how the summer schedule is often different than the rest of the year, and how that different schedule can provide different opportunities. And, how to take advantage of those different opportunities.

So, my question to you and to me this week, is to zoom out a little and ask:

  • “What would help you the most to be done with, to get completed this summer? What can you do now, in this more relaxed and expansive time, to set yourself up to succeed this Fall?

Summer is indeed different for me, schedule- and responsibility-wise. Professionally, not too much changes with my client load and presentations. But my other responsibilities are different. For example, I attend MANY fewer meetings in the summer.

Did you know? I am a school board member for my local school district. And summer has more committee work and planning since students are not in the buildings. The day-to-day work is much different. The work for me is more self-directed and the deadlines are farther in the future.

Of course, self directed learning is is sometimes dangerous territory – it’s easy to get distracted when working isn’t URGENT! But I digress.

The point is, for Board work, if I ask myself this question:

What would help the most to be done with, to get completed this summer? What to do now, in this more relaxed and expansive time, to set up to succeed this Fall?

The answer is, In the summer to do myself a favor this Fall, I can close out some small projects and clean up some documents that never seem to get completed during the year.

In addition to board work, I run a choir for my Parish. Post-pandemic, I am very happy to say that we returned to a more consistent schedule after Easter this past Spring. We still take summers off, but I know we will sing Masses this Fall. And for me, the most time consuming and stressful part of running a choir is NOT managing a dozen people or singing in front of hundreds, it is setting up our song lists every week and month.

So, to ask the question again, “What would help you the most to be done with, to get completed this summer? What can you do now, in this more relaxed and expansive time, to set yourself up to succeed this Fall?

Here is the thing – If you don’t know this, I am Catholic and the readings and therefore the song selection works on a rotating year schedule, and are determined years in advance. Which means I can use summer time to set the line-ups now for September 2023 to May 2024 and save myself a while lot of struggle during the busier time of year.

So this is how this tool, this question, can work!

Let’s break it down a little more!

  • First, we need to look at our Focus Areas (if you need to review, you can go back and check out episode #5, or check out this article).
  • Once we know what is important to us, we can look at what projects we can complete or perhaps start in this summer schedule. My board work and my choir work are both part of my Focus Area of Service, and since I know they are important to me, I can look a little closer at what to do this summer to help me all year round.
  • Once we’ve identified the project, we need to BREAK IT DOWN INTO LITTLE TINY PIECES. A highly effective strategy to fight overwhelm and to make progress on any task is to recognize that all large projects are a series of small projects.
  • And then take action, and stay on track! And, how to stay on track?
    • Remind yourself that completing this project will help future you!
    • It’s important to make room for those important but non-urgent (see my Eisenhower Box blog article, or re-listen to podcast episode #4!) tasks to still make they happen. Do not leave your scheduling up to chance! Dedicate white space – actually schedule time to complete those project pieces!
    • Perhaps you can schedule the project time in place of the typical scheduled time. For example, during the school year I have a monthly meeting on a Monday afternoons – I could absolutely use that found time this summer to work on my school board notes and projects.
    • Or
    • I can use a couple for hours on a Wednesday evening when we typically would be in rehearsal to work on my weekly mass line-ups for Fall, since I am often thinking musical thoughts that evening anyway!
    • Finally, create at least a little urgency, if you find that motivating. I know I do.
      • In talking to a friend and networking partner today, she said and I quote “Oh no rush on those items you promised, just take your time.” and I said “No! Never tell me to take my time, or I lose urgency!” So I will take care of our tasks ASAP and let her take her time in responding!

“What would help you the most to be done with, to get completed this week?” And this summer?

Once we have created multiple small projects instead of large ones, we can assign deadlines at regular intervals throughout the summer months to create some urgency and get things done! Do future you a favor, set your plan and then make some progress on those tasks that will help Future You the most!

What Does “Ready” Look Like For You?

What does Ready look like for you?

In one of my favorite short presentations entitled “How to Never Be Late Again”, I list 4 ways to never be late again. I feel like that presentation would make a great podcast around back to school time in August, so stay tuned!

For today, though, one way to never be late again deserves it’s own article and podcast episode!

The idea is to “Prepare to leave again as soon as you arrive home.” Get back to “ready”, return to ready, whatever that looks like for you.

This is my typical strategy for most things in life, so I don’t even think about it most days. But a friend recently mentioned that my firefighter analogy resonated with her because she had gotten out of the Back to Ready habit during the pandemic and was slowly getting back to it.

So, here we go:

Consider ambulance drivers and fire fighters. They clean up and reload their rig after every call. Now, for the rest of us, Life is not an emergency, but it’s easier to be flexible when we know we’re prepared.

Did you know? I have a firefighter family. My dad is a retired firefighter, his dad was a firefighter and my oldest brother just retired after 30 years.

I remember visiting my dad at the firehouse when I was a kid, and there was a tower for the hoses. It seemed tall to me. Most things do.

When the rig comes back from a fire, from using a fire hose, the hoses are washed and hung up in the tower to dry, to unkink and smooth out, etc. Because you have to take really good care of fire hoses.

The pressure, the amount of water that courses through those, per minute is astonishing when they are being used to put out a fire. They need to be well tended so they don’t burst.

That means washing them, drying them out between uses, hanging them straight so there’s no kinks or folds, letting them hang out and dry and then rolling them up.

Once the firefighters hang out the recently used hose, they restock the rig with the clean and dry ones. Immediately upon returning back from a call, they also restock the rig with supplies, their turnout gear, safety precautions, and medical equipment. And imagine an ambulance, right? Same deal.

So if you called 911 and need an ambulance or a firetruck, do you want to imagine that they are standing in the bay of the firehouse, restocking the rig after you call?

No. You want them to be already on their way when you call, right?! They need to have all the things, but not too many things. They need to have everything they need and not much more because that would be a very full rig. But you, as the caller, want to know that it’s restocked and ready and waiting. And honestly, that next call could come in 2 minutes, or it could come in 2 hours, but it doesn’t matter because whenever it happens, they’re ready to go.

Back to ready. Right? Right. whatever that looks like for you.

So the idea is to prepare to leave again, as soon as you arrive home.

What I am NOT suggesting is that we need to live in this heightened state of panic, anxiety, emergency. I never want us to feel that way. And actually, what I’m suggesting – Getting into the practice of getting ready to leave – would help you to feel a lot less stressed. More prepared, less stressed, more ready for whatever the day may bring.

What I also like about this strategy, too, is that it can be personalized. You know for yourself and for your family or your office, your work, whatever what ready looks like. I think that that’s a big piece of it, is, knowing what ready looks like.

I was on a retreat in February of 2020. At one of the presentations I attended, the presenter talked about your core.

She didn’t say getting back to normal, she talked about getting back to your core, your baseline? What is your core? What is your starting point on any given day or week? What is that for you? My return to ready.

I spoke last week about helping with transitions by having a physical location to drop all the things out of our pockets and a habit around cleaning things out.

So you’re ready to repack and put things away and whatever that would be. So again, what is that for you? What is ready?

Certainly when I get home, there are things that I do. I put my bag in the same place every day when I arrive home. I unpack my water bottles and put them in the sink. I make sure that my keys are clipped onto my handbag (it’s a backpack).

And if I’ve used up anything in my backpack that needs to be replaced (gum, tissues, a pen, cash), I replace that immediately, because I am going to remember that I used something up much more clearly the moment I get home versus a day or a week or a month later when it comes time for me to leave. If I wait to check everything over again and maybe refill then I’m going to forget something. My go-to is to make sure that I have restocked immediately upon arriving home, as opposed to waiting until it’s time to leave to do the restock.

Do you see the difference? It is a big difference. It’s a different way of thinking of things. But it really does matter when we shift to being ready, no matter what, versus having to prepare when it’s time to go.

Now, if my husband’s listening to this, he also knows that sometimes when I’m getting ready to go, lately, occasionally, I have forgotten my phone. (In my defense, that “forgetting” means I walk out the back door and get in the car before going back for it, so is that really forgetting?)

The most likely reason that I have forgotten my phone is because I am distracted, often by people. The second most likely reason is because it wasn’t where it belonged, which, if it’s not on my person, is supposed to be my desk, unless I’m in bed and then it’s on the table next to me. So I have habits around those things. That’s what ready means to me. Ready to go. This is truly the opposite of, an emergency.

I mean, it’s still an emergency if somebody calls 911 and needs a fire truck or an ambulance. My other example is from when my kids were little. And if you ever had to take a child to the ER, you don’t want to have to stop and pack the diaper bag. If you want to go, you need to go, right?

You also need to have an idea of what stocked looks like, right? So, again, it’s not that I packed a million outfits or whatever, but, for example, a stocked diaper bag for the babysitter’s house was six clean diapers. The wipes were wipe container was full. There were two sleepers, two outfits, two pairs of socks, let’s say two blankets, let’s say five burp cloths, whatever that standard level of packed or ready was.

And I knew what that was, and as soon as we would get home from going places or the sitter, I would make sure that it was restocked and ready to go. I would replace what had been used and make sure we were back to ready. I didn’t pack a million things. I just made sure the essentials were covered, bag was packed, we were ready for whatever whenever!

If we needed to just up and go, we absolutely could. And that was so freeing. We could go in an emergency but we could also just head out the door and go to the park or go to the library or whatever, and I didn’t have to fumble and repack because that was already done. And we didn’t get stuck anywhere without the essentials. We could set it aside and forget it, which is great. That is what Ready meant for us.

So how do we translate that into our everyday? Where is it in your life? What goes with you? What is it that needs to, be easier? Where would this idea help you? Let me know what you think, I’d love to hear from you!

Metrics In The Dentist Chair!

Today, I want to talk about metrics. Performance metrics, to be specific, though applied to personal development.

Metrics. Let me explain:

I don’t know if you know this. I didn’t, for certain.

At my dental check up this week, my very nice hygienist, Mary Kate, was very good at explaining what she was doing. I was meeting Mary Kate for the first time, and perhaps she is always this thorough but no one else had ever talked me through the process.

I’ve had teeth for 50-some years now and I just learned from Mary Kate about perio-charting or probe scores. So there you go. There’s your new idea for the day. Perio-charting or probe scores.

The hygienist uses a tool which I’ve never looked closely at before. It’s kind of pointy, looks a little scary. There are lines on the probe that allow the hygienist to quantify the health of my gums.

The goal is to not have a lot of recession, I guess, or dips in the gums around your teeth. And the farther your gums recede, the higher the number of stripes on this tool that they see when they poke your gums, and the more damage you have and the more concerned you need to be, or the more work that needs to be done.

I didn’t know this. Did you know this? I thought it was very cool!

As I sat in the dentist’s chair, I was already reflecting about this article that I wanted to write about Metrics and here I was presented with an excellent example of quantifying something that I didn’t even realize was quantifiable, in the interest of gauging current status and also checking in again later to determine progress over time.

Yep, that’s a Metric. Performance metrics are used to measure the behavior, activities and performance of a business. Or a person, for today’s purpose of my podcast and newsletter.

Mary Kate explained there is an objective, standard, quantifiable, reproducible number to measure gum health. If you have a score of four or under, your gums are pretty healthy. A little higher and we should start to worry. And a seven or eight is cause for alarm. (Mine were healthy, by the way!)

A different hygienist in a different office would still get the same number. Because a metric is information that is quantifiable and standardized. And the best part about Metrics is if we measure something, we can also improve upon it and measure our progress over time.

Every six months when I go in, they’re going to use the same tool and the same charting method. We will identify if there is a problem. And if take action to alleviate the problem, we can measure if it’s helping or not. This is huge, right? I mean, we all need to know this!

There are metrics, or habits or activities or progress, that we can identify as being important to us and quantify in some way. Of course, lots of factors are measurable and therefore trackable. And if we can track something, we also can improve something. My website expert Claire reminds me that “if you don’t track it, you can’t improve it”. It comes down to metrics.

So, with metrics, we can:

  • identify what metric, habit or data is important for us to track;
  • identify how or in what increments we want to track it;
  • consider what progress will look like (I would like to extend my walk time from 30 minutes daily to 40 minutes daily over the course of a week);
  • identify how and how often we want to track the habit or data; and
  • set up the habits and tools that help us make this all happen!

As you listen to my podcast about this article, consider that I can check the Podbean app where my podcast is hosted and see how many people listen. I can see the data (metrics) from day to day and from episode to episode. I have a “total downloads” over time. I can see that my numbers are much better at the 25th episode than they were at the first (thank goodness!).

Because “number of listens” and “downloads” are important metrics as an indicator of success, I could also try to boost my numbers more from week to week through marketing or advertising, and then track if those activities have a positive impact on my listens and downloads. Metrics.

Let’s look at where else this could apply.

Lately, I’ve been using metrics to track my health and wellness habits. I track if I completed the habit this day (“Yes, I took a walk” or “No, I did not take a walk”), how many minutes (30, 60, etc.), and how many steps overall in a day. Or…

  • How many hours of sleep I get a night.
  • How many cookies I eat a day (kidding!).
  • How many ounces of water I drink a day.
  • Did I meditate, and for how long?
  • My daily weight.
  • Morning journaling, by number of minutes.

Let’s make this useful to us. What is an area of your life you would like to improve upon, and what would be a metric around it?

  • For example, recently I realized I need to drink more water, for myriad health reasons.
  • I read the recommendations and committed to drinking 100 ounces of fluids per day.
  • I tracked my normal water consumption and realized I was doing okay but I need to do better every day to reach the 100 ounces goal.
  • To make tracking easier, I fill a 32 oz. jar with filtered water first thing every morning and fill my water glasses and bottles through out the day from that jar. I consistently refill the jar one time during the day (64 total), so the goal this week is to refill the jar 2 times during the day to bring me to 96 ounces.
  • I TRACK THE NUMBER OF JARS! I set up an Evernote Document with the “ounces of water” metric, and also others (exercise, meditation, productivity, etc.). I can copy my list of metrics from day to day, and the the document has pre-formatted check boxes I can add to make tracking even easier. I broke the check boxes down into “32 oz jar” increments x 3 every day, and can click the box accordingly.
  • I have reminders on my phone late in the day to track the ounces and also to remind me to finish up if I haven’t yet met the 100 ounce goal.

Since I am tracking my habits, I know if I’m hitting my mark or not. I can celebrate the successes! “Yeah Me! Establishing good habits!”, which helps me stay motivated for tomorrow!

And if I’m not there yet, I can stop and realize that I’m not hitting my mark. Perhaps I give myself a little pep talk! “You know what, I’ve been doing really great. I’ve been exercising for 30 minutes a day. I get good sleep. I’ve been making healthy nutrition choices. But… I’m not drinking enough water.” And then I can ask me, “What else can I do to support this habit?”

Some of the supports are the ideas I am already using.

  • I made tracking fun by creating my own personalized Metrics Document with my list and motivational quotes at the top.
  • I made it easy by creating the daily template of metrics and their check boxes. And it’s also easy because I use Evernote all day every day so adding another document to that habit is easy.
  • I’m pretty consistent with tracking habits in the morning and mid day, but not so much in the evening, so I added another time for an evening reminder. And the timer goes off early enough in the evening that I can still catch up if I want to.
  • It’s fun for me to track metrics, so there’s a dopamine boost that I get from crossing things off the list.
  • And flexibility is actually a big plus, too. Creating my own check list based on my own metrics means that I can add a habit if I want to, or subtract it if I find that it’s no longer helpful.

So, do I want to meditate more, reach out to one family member daily, have time outside in fresh air… or what else? What else do I want to do that would support any kind of healthy habits or, um, wellness activities that I’m trying to accomplish?

Metrics are self knowledge, actual quantifiable data, that we can use to track and then improve behavior.

My challenge to you this week is to consider what is an area of your life you would like to work on, what would a metric to track to indicate progress and success, and to start tracking! I would love to hear from you about a performance metric, either personal or professional, that you want to improve and therefore track. If you have an app that you love and that I could share with others, please let me know!