Tag: NAPO-Chicago

Positive Self Talk Changes Your Life In A Good Way!

Did you know?  Statistically speaking, the person you speak to most in your day is… Yourself.

Let’s say, when you’re in your car alone for extended periods of time, you may discover you have a tendency to talk to yourself. (Ok, maybe that’s just me.) For example, I recorded the content of this article on a late night solo drive home from seeing my son in a show in Indiana.

I know I have a tendency to talk to myself. A funny thing, early in lockdown when we were suddenly 5 people in the house together ALL THE TIME, my husband asked me about the conversations I was having with myself!

Do you talk to yourself? (The answer is likely “Yes”, whether out loud or just in your head). And more importantly, what do you say?

Today I want to talk about the importance of positive self talk.

We all learn in different ways. We have ways of processing, learning, organizing. In coaching we refer to these as processing modalities. The 4 most commonly discussed are seeing or visual learners, doing or kinesthetic learners, hearing or auditory learners, and speaking, or verbal learners. And we’re all a blend of all of those. Someone who learns by speaking out loud is called a verbal learner or a verbal processor.

A strength of mine is to verbally process. I am a paid, professional speaker, and a professional cantor, which means I get paid to sing. I enjoy podcasting, and writing articles and sending out a newsletter to my community for the last 15 years. Obviously, verbal processing and communicating for me is a strength. I learn things as I hear myself say them out loud. If you aren’t a verbal processor, it’s possible that you don’t understand what I was just talking about. But if you are a verbal processor or know one!, you will know exactly what I’m talking about when I say that.

What we say matters, and what we hear ourselves say matters.

Imagine with me: I was working with a client a few weeks ago. She is such a treasure, just delightful. My client is a verbal processor, and she was talking to me because I was in the space with her, but mostly she was thinking out loud – verbally processing – as we worked on organizing and clearing clutter in her space.

She was thinking out loud, verbalizing what was going on in her mind. She was doing a great job. She was asking herself really good questions. Do I need this? How can I set this space up best? And she was open to questions from me, as well, to help her through the process. She knew the questions to ask herself, and we held space together for her to work through those, with support if she wanted to talk things out a little more. (That is one of the beauties of coaching, so awesome).

She was thinking out loud and at one point got frustrated with herself and started to say more negative things.

And

then

she

stopped.

She stopped, and realized what she was doing and shifted to saying beautiful, loving and kind things to herself instead. And I was there to witness this beautiful habit.

Our self talk tends to trend negative. Too often, my inner monologue can trend to “Colleen, what is wrong with you? How could you let it get to this?” I think that can happen to all of us.

And we can say out loud that that’s not helpful. As a coach, well, really as a fellow human being, I would never ask you those questions because first of all, they’re mean. And secondly, they’re wrong.

I admired her awareness that the negative self talk was happening. I admired that she know that negative self talk was not a good and healthy habit. And SHE CHANGED HER BEHAVIOR!

Just like my client, when our self talk turns negative, we need to be aware that it’s happening, know that we need to change and then make the change!

Our negative self-talk is often a product of other messages we receive, from society or a teacher in 2nd grade or a sharp-tongued loved one as we grew up. And we can start believing it, even when we know the messages are not helpful and maybe even wrong. Whether it’s right or wrong, true or not true to us, the repetition can make us us start to believe it.

There is good news, though! I am here to share that the opposite is true, too. My client changed her inner soundtrack to positive self talk. So can you. And so can I.

BECAUSE HAVING A POSITIVE INTERNAL SOUNDTRACK CAN CHANGE YOUR LIFE IN A GOOD WAY!

We need to shift our inner monologue, our personal narrative, our self talk. If we tell ourselves over and over, silently or out loud, that we are too busy and too stressed and the week is a total mess at 7 am on Monday, then – well – that is what we will believe. Except that is not helpful and that is not true.

Let’s shift that self talk. We need to be positive with ourselves because some times the world is harsh enough. Right? We don’t need anybody else telling us that it’s a hard life or a hard day, etc. We already know that. We don’t need to say it because it just reinforces the negative. I am not suggesting to lie to ourselves or ignore the obvious, but we can be our own best friend, our own biggest fan and cheerleader, and set ourselves up to succeed.

Every morning, I say out loud my “I Am Statements”. I start my day with positive self talk. And if I say them out loud but still are not feeling positive, I say them all again! Here’s what I say:

  • “I am stronger,
  • I am worthy,
  • I am wealthy,
  • I am loved,
  • I am vibrant,
  • I am wise,
  • I am beautiful,
  • I am smart,
  • I am kind,
  • I am patient,
  • I am generous,
  • I am successful,
  • I am healthy,
  • I am humble,
  • I am grateful,
  • I am brave,
  • I am blessed,
  • I am a blessing,
  • I am forgiving,
  • I am committed to growth,
  • I am a learner,
  • I am a builder,
  • I am committed to being my best self,
  • I am a Child of God.”

What do you want someone to say to you? Be that supportive person for yourself!

What can you say to yourself every day, to make your day and outlook more positive?

How can you be kind to yourself?

Make your list! Make it as long or as short as you want! (Check out Pinterest or Instagram if you need inspiration!!!)

I was speaking with a coaching client a few weeks ago. She has been working through some really difficult tasks over the past few months and I am so proud and happy for her and her progress. But much more importantly, SHE is proud of herself for doing difficult things and is happy with her progress. And she said, as we were discussing her positive self talk, “There are some things I have to say out loud.  Just thinking them isn’t loud enough.” Isn’t that awesome? The good stuff can’t be kept inside – just thinking them isn’t loud enough, they need to be said out loud!

Let’s say the good stuff out loud!!

We Never Really Have to Start From Scratch!

We Never Really Have to Start From Scratch! We don’t have to start over.

Do future you a favor. Take notes. And refer back to them.

I was inspired to write about today’s topic by a recent experience. Of course, because that is usually what inspires me!

Let me set it up for you:

One Saturday morning every other month, a group of parishioners from my Parish assemble 150 bag lunches for a local charitable organization to distribute to their community. That Saturday in November was a few weeks ago.

My friend Kristen organizes the service project every time.  This was our 4th morning so far, we started back in May.  We have added people from month to month, and occasionally one of the regulars can’t attend, but there is typically a team of 10 or so adults and some students seeking service hours. 

We are learning, and we get better at the process every month, every time we do it, which is great. And one of the reasons we get better at it is we don’t start from scratch every time, because, honestly, why should we?

Why shouldn’t we learn from every experience? And yes, we can learn from every experience, but also importantly, we need to remember what we learn.

In addition to learning from the experience, we also need to retain or review or make a note of that.

And here’s the deal – if we do something… occasionally… it’s not yet a habit or a routine.

How often we do something and in what time interval are two factors that impact how much we remember from time to time.  If we don’t necessarily remember all the details every time, that’s okay, because sometimes we don’t, and that’s all right. But we can learn from our experiences and get better at doing things!

In my productivity presentations, I mention recipes, and I’m not talking my corn casserole recipe, even though its Thanksgiving time, even though I have no problem sharing that. I mean, recipes as in a path for future you to take. 

In my presentations, I mention those complex tasks we occasionally complete. Often enough to want to get good at it, but not often enough that it’s become natural or a habit.  The example I use in my class is balancing my company’s monthly banking statements.

When I switched my banking years ago, I connected a credit card to my account for purchases.  My banking and bookkeeping are very simple processes now that they are well established, but when I first made the switch, I would stumble from month to month – log into the banking website from my browser or connect Quicken from the quicken platform?  Make a note in quicken regarding paying my credit card bill from my spending account, or pay the bill first and then update the transactions from quicken?

Every month, when the process was new, I would stumble.

So I leave myself a note.  A short list: open quicken, log into banking website, pay credit card bill on banking website, go to quicken, go to credit card tab, click reconcile, click accept all, make note in Quicken.

To use the service example, after we make lunches, we take a few minutes to talk about what worked and what to tweak next time. For example,

  • We write down who volunteered today.
  • We make note of who showed up in answer to the bulletin article, and collect their email so we can alert them next time.
  • Maybe it’s logistics: “We always start with wiping down tables and putting on gloves” or we “need three plastic table cloths instead of 2”
  • Or, about the process: “We need to start with the longest step first and get that rolling, focus on getting the sandwich assembly line started first.“
  • And “Let’s make sure to confirm the time with the school students who need service hours“.

This is a pretty low pressure situation, to be honest – we have a solid team and the work isn’t difficult.  But we are on the clock, as the lunches need to be delivered by a certain time to the mission who is distributing them. And we still want to do things efficiently and effectively. My friend writes down notes and learning, and the ideas and a plan for next time.

Here’s another example of wanting to do things well and leaving notes from next time.

This time of year, I think of my client who has an orange binder in the cabinet above her kitchen desk. It’s the Thanksgiving binder and it really does contain all things Thanksgiving. She always hosts Thanksgiving.  It’s a big family affair, lots of people bring lots of things, and it’s lovely.

And so from year to year, they make notes in the Thanksgiving binder. For example,

  • How many people were there, and who?
  • What recipes did we use? Who brought what and how much?
  • How about “So and So made made the gravy and it was delicious!”
  • Or “We picked up a pie from such and such bakery, and it was a big hit“.
  • We can write about what worked well and what didn’t, or what did we do well and what could be better.

We can keep notes of those things because we would absolutely forget if we didn’t keep track!  When the service morning rolls around again, Kristen will check her notes that she made and start from there as we set up who is scheduled to help and who needs to bring what.  She already has a plan for next time.  That’s the third or fourth time I have said that today.  Let’s relish in that for a minute.  A plan for next time. Based on what we know and what we continue to learn. 

That sounds pretty great to me.

The Importance of “Filling Your Cup”

When I started writing this content today, I had just listened to my amazing friend, Sara Goggin Young with Power to Believe. She really is extraordinary, you need to check her out on the social media platforms!  She hosts this really cool thing every Tuesday morning called Vibe High.

I listen as I take my morning walk, and she is just so motivating.

Her topic this week was “filling our cup”. Filling our cup.  As in, how do we support ourselves? How do we fill our cup, metaphorically speaking?

Time is weird. I record my podcast a week ahead. I record an episode on Monday, and then the next morning, Tuesday morning, the episode I recorded the week before drops.  Last week, I talked about ADHD and I have loved hearing from some of you about how that article and episode impacted you.  And thank you.

And this week’s topic is Arriving on time, in five minute increments.

I have been talking about habits around leaving, and also habits around arriving home and then also around habits of packing our bag the day before and things like that.

We can absolutely conquer our transitions in little bits of time. And we should. We don’t not have to make big, huge grand gestures to make a difference. Honestly, it’s better if they aren’t huge grand gestures.

We are much better off with small, consistent, intentional, positive effort.

And all of these thoughts and recent client conversations got me thinking about this habit that I have, this brief and impactful habit that I have that I might not have talked about before.

I find it very helpful and I thought I would share.  It helps me manage my transitions – and getting good at managing transitions makes everything better! – and it definitely helps me “fill my cup”. It helps me support me being my best self.

Here goes – There is a post-it note that I stare at when I sit down at my desk, which I do all the time.  The sitting down at my desk part.

And the title says “Homing.“

Did you know, I’m a liturgical musician in addition to being a certified professional organizer and organizational coach. And there’s a song we sing called “Lord of All Hopefulness”. It’s a prayer that you would sing throughout the day. There are 4 verses to the song, ‘be there at our waking’, ‘be there at our labors’, ‘be there at our homing’ and ‘be there at our sleeping’.

And “homing” refers to the time when we arrive home. For me, that’s a very comforting image.  Our coming home at the end of the day after our work is done. The word to me means completion and satisfaction. I did the work, I helped the people, and I’m home now and can rest, relax and reset.

And what is on the Homing Post It Note? It’s a list, in order

  • water
  • playlist
  • snack / meal?
  • nature break
  • shower?
  • change clothes?
  • next event?
  • transition bags and stuff
  • bookkeeping
  • curtains, lights and mail (which are all the same step.)

Those are the things that I need to do when I get home, to take care of me, to ease my transition, to fill my cup after a busy day and or before a busy evening.

I can do these arriving home tasks any time of the day, and even all together they take 25 minutes tops.

This Homing List has a special place because I need to remind myself to start with self care, self management, self regulation first.

Let’s break it down: 

Water: I’m almost always dehydrated.  Here’s a clue – we all are.   I have a hard time staying as on top of my water consumption as I should. So the first thing I do when I get home is have a glass of water because I need one.

Playlist: I love music, and the right playlist can relax or entertain or energize me. I have playlists from bands we follow or have become friends of ours, and those make me happy.  I love to listen to Motown while I cook – I don’t know why! But it makes me happy, too.

Snack  / Meal:  Seems self explanatory, but I often need a snack when I get home.  And if I don’t remember to ask the question, it could be a little bit of time before I wonder my energy is lagging, my focus is drifting, my blood sugar has bottomed out and now I am hangry (yes, that is a thing!).  Or, maybe I get home around dinner time and I need to make dinner!

Nature break: Again, this seems obvious, I know.  I shouldn’t need a post-it note to remind me to use the washroom, but sometimes I do.

Next, do I need a shower? Some days I get grubby at work, but this really revved up during pandemic.  During pandemic times, I would only see one client a day and then shower immediately when I got home to keep my family safe. I’m not quite as fanatical about that anymore, but, some days it still needs to happen or I need to shower before my next appointment or event. 

And I almost always need to change my clothes into comfy clothes. Same idea, I don’t really wear outdoor clothes in my house and vice versa.

Next, ask “What is my next event?” This loops back to what I mentioned last week and in the past few months about getting our stuff and self ready to go. As soon as I come home from one thing, is it unpacking from the current day or packing for the next day? So, when I ask the question: next event? I’m answering the question and then:

Transitioning my bags and stuff. I mean, I’ve talked about that recently, with my many-bag-days and making sure that unpacking and putting everything away happens regularly. Otherwise, I’m pretty sure I would be inundated all over my desk or my office floor with bags. Yikes!

Next up is Bookkeeping. And bookkeeping is not necessarily something that everybody needs to do, but I, as a business owner, do need to do it. I have clients who pay me using all sorts of methods and often when I get home, I need to send a PayPal invoice or a Venmo request, or perhaps I need to follow up on scheduling. This also provides an opportunity to file any paperwork that I accumulated throughout the day, put away any receipts, make note on hours that I work today and account for them, etc. This doesn’t take long but it is a very important part of my process.

The final step is “curtains, lights and mail” and that is contingent on the time of day when I arrive home and the season and all that stuff. Sometimes I get home mid-day. And sometimes I arrive early evening and it’s time for me to close the curtains for the night, turn on the lights in my home to make it warm and friendly, and bring in the mail. When I say that out loud, it feels very cozy and inviting. It makes me feel like I’m having a hug, and looping back, that helps fill my cup.

The process itself absolutely fills my cup, gives me a boost and brings my thoughts back to home and family and the things that I find important.

My challenge to you would be to figure out what these steps are for yourself, and how to fill your cup. And how can you make sure it happens on a consistent basis? My example was about habits around coming home.  Maybe you need to head outside to fill your cup, or go exercise or go meet up with friends or go to a class. On the call with my friend and her group, some people loved to cook or be creative with their hands. What is it for you?

And how do you make sure to do it regularly? For example, having this visual reminder for me absolutely helps me to “fill my cup” consistently. Let me know your thoughts!

October is ADHD Awareness Month: More Than Just Awareness

October is ADHD (Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder) Awareness Month.

Last week, I spoke with one of my accountability partners, Laine.  Laine is the ADHD Coach that I want to be when I grow up. She’s amazing. If you’d like to know more, check out her website at http://thinkinganddoingskillscenter.com/.  She is always looking to reach and positively impact more students and adults with her coaching. 

On our accountability call, we discussed that this is the time of year when mid-quarter progress reports go home, and for many students, we find out that they are struggling with their grades and workload.

Perhaps a student hasn’t been diagnosed but the teacher or school administrator may start the conversation regarding testing and diagnosis. 

OR perhaps a student is diagnosed with ADHD but they haven’t necessarily found the strategies or skills, or aren’t using them, or need to explore more to help them do as well as they could in school.

Laine and took a moment to share our own stories about our experiences with ADHD for either ourselves or loved ones.  And I realized that I don’t tell ADHD stories, and that’s a disservice to you and to me and anybody who has ADHD.

Today, I want to talk about what ADHD is and what it looks like in ourselves and the people around us. We will increase awareness around ADHD and some symptoms that go along with it, and mention the strategies and skills that can be used to improve the lives of EVERYONE, including folks with ADHD. 

See what I did there?  I reminded all of us that the strategies that help folks with ADHD to manage their neurodiversity are the same strategies that can help us all on any given day.

To get us started, I want to share a conversation I had recently with a friend about her grown child with ADHD.  And keep in mind – we are not doing an in-depth study of ADHD today, because that would be impossible in one day. 

Today, we are increasing awareness!

This grown child, this young adult, is doing great, professionally speaking. They recently graduated from college, they have a new job in their field of study, they’re really excited about it, they’re just doing great.

But this young adult struggles beyond that.  In addition to a new job, they also have a new living arrangement in this new stage of life. And they are really struggling with all the change, the expectation to set up a home and to manage themselves. 

Of course I can’t coach a person who’s not there, that’s not how that works.  But I can increase awareness with this young adult’s loved one who is trying to understand where their young adult is coming from, and how to help.  And I respect that.  We can all start by recognizing there is more going on with every person than we may be aware of.

First, I asked “is the young adult diagnosed or not?”, and the answer was yes. Next, I asked if they received counseling or therapy specifically around their ADHD and where they may struggle, and the answer was no.

So this friend and I simply worked on ADHD Awareness together.

First, I want you to click over to and read an article I wrote for the basics, ADHD Awareness Month, For Yourself and for Others.

It’s not necessarily that people with ADHD have symptoms that are completely different than anybody else in a busy time of life or any other time. What makes it troublesome and what leads many of us to either get tested or get our loved ones tested for ADHD or other neuro-diversities is if the struggles happen more than occasionally, or are negatively impacting a person’s life. And by life I mean relationships, how they succeed or excel in school or professionally, or in whatever it is that they’re trying to achieve.

So we all have challenges some days with achievement or focus or productivity or motivation, but it’s when those challenges negatively impacts life for a certain amount of time, those are the red flags that say, okay, there’s more going on here, and we need to ask if perhaps this person is neurodivergent. Again, many of us display these characteristics. It’s the severity and the comorbidities, like folks with ADHD also suffering from higher rates of anxiety or depression, that make ADHD troublesome.

Back to my friend and her young adult.

For this friend and her grown child, we discussed that this young adult is able to excel at work but their home life and relationships suffer, and they are exhausted all the time.  I mentioned that, whereas I might have a busy day at work and I need to come home and take a half hour to shift gears and decompress before staring my next activity, someone with ADHD has worked much harder to be productive at work and to manage their challenges and may need much more time to regroup.

Let’s understand Masking.

People with ADHD and other people as well learn to cover up what may be considered culturally undesirable behaviors.  So little ones learn to not blurt out answers in the classroom or hop out of their seats when their energy tells them otherwise.  And they learn to manage and mask, but it also takes effort to NOT act this way.

Let’s understand, too, a different type of masking:

Children with ADHD are often not diagnosed until they reach transitions like elementary school to middle school, or middle school to high school, or even high school to college.  Strong and supportive parenting and learning environments are AWESOME but occasionally ADHD goes undiagnosed until a student reaches the point when their external coping supports (parents and teachers) no longer make up for the challenges from their ADHD.

Let’s understand Hyperfocus

Another characteristic of ADHD is Hyperfocus. ADHD is often misunderstood and underdiagnosed because people with ADHD may be able to hyper-focus on something that is interesting to them.  This is why ADHD is not a full enough name, because “Attention Deficit” is not always true.

And, for many people with ADHD, they are paying Attention to EVERYTHING. Did you know? When a person with ADHD looks like they’re not paying attention, it’s actually very likely that they are paying attention to absolutely everything in the room.  If they’re listening to their teacher talk about math or to a friend tell a story, or they’re trying to focus on the email in front of them, they are also hearing every background sound there is.

They are noticing how their clothing feels at every point that it touches their body.

They are noticing the temperature of the air around them, and the smell of the space.

They are noticing everything. Any pains that might be in their body. They notice it all. It’s not that they’re not paying attention. Attention deficit is actually a misnomer in some ways, because they’re processing input from everything.

And so what may look like inattentiveness is actually the fact that they are processing everything all the time. And they might not even know what’s happening. And where you think that it is a character flaw, defiance or something else, it might very well be that they have so many different signals coming in at any given point that they’re just taking a bit of time to process.

And again, that’s not necessarily specific to ADHD, but it is a common trait of somebody with ADHD.

Let’s Also understand Bandwidth, or spoons.

All of us have a certain amount of energy and focus and motivation to get things done every day.  And once those commodities are used up for the day, it’s time for rest.    Some people call these units of measure spoons.  So each of us starts with a certain number of spoons to use throughout the day. 

With me so far?

All of us consume the spoons.  And if we’re sick or sad, we may have fewer spoons than normal.  And some days we have to do hard things, which uses up our spoons faster.

A person with ADHD may have the same amount spoons as you and me when they start their day.  But they may use them faster than we do because they have to make themselves focus and motivate and get things done in  a certain way that isn’t how their brain is wired to work.

Now, let’s talk about recovery.

Just as a neurotypical person needs to rest and re-fuel to face another day, so does, of course, a person with ADHD.  But it may take longer. In addition to using spoons faster than others, a person with ADHD may take longer to replace the spoons.  Even a person with ADHD who is managing themselves well and getting the support they need knows that they MUST employ strategies and skills to rest and replenish.  And we have to respect that.

Somebody with ADHD, because they have been dealing with all of these external stimuli for so long, can absolutely maintain for a bit, and then they’re exhausted. And what takes you and I perhaps an hour or two, or a good night’s sleep, to recuperate from could take them days.

And I think where all of this is leading me to is right here:

Your awareness of ADHD or now doesn’t validate or invalidate a friend or loved one with ADHD.  Yes, there are people out there who believe ADHD doesn’t exist.

But today I want to increase awareness.  I want to show all of us that we all struggle sometimes.  People with ADHD and people without ADHD.

As I started this topic today, I mentioned that we don’t know where people are coming from. But now we know  more.  We know better.  And I was quoted back to myself last week, apparently I often say “when we know better we must do better” (I will credit this to Maya Angelou). 

No one is broken and no one needs fixed.  We just need to understand more about others, be aware there is more happening than we know and be ready to support others by educating ourselves.  More than 10% of the population has ADHD, whether you or they have been diagnosed or not.  You may have ADHD, and I guarantee you know people with ADHD.  Some who struggle and some who manage well.

We need to understand that it’s happening, and support ourselves and others with understanding, communication and education.

There are resources out there to help. Coaching, counseling, therapy. 

CHADD, https://chadd.org/, Children and Adults with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (CHADD)

ADD.org, Attention Deficit Disorder Association

There are tools to help individuals manage their ADHD and to support the folks who support people with ADHD. The best indicator for success is for everyone to understand ADHD Better. 

Intention: Don’t Leave Important Things Up To Chance

I started composing this content in the car on the way to drop off my son at college.  We took two cars.  I lost the coin flip and had most of the stuff in my car, and my husband and our son were in the other.  And our two different GPS apps sent us two different ways, so we got same place by different routes, different expressways here in the Midwest, around the same time.  Which is good to know, as we’ve often debated which way is faster.

We flipped a coin so my son didn’t feel pressured to choose between my husband or I to ride with, and we didn’t have to feel bad if my son didn’t choose us.  But I digress.

I have a digital document where my editorial content lives.  All my ideas, bits of writings, a schedule outline for the next few months.  In preparation for the solo drive and the thinking time I would have as I drove, I looked at the first two pages of it.  I add new info at the top, and also have the schedule pinned there.  It’s a ridiculously long document, probably close to 50 pages if I printed it, and I will NOT.  Some day soon I need to just delete most of it since I’m shifting my thinking these days. 

But there was a single line at the top left over from the recent Never Be Late Again content, I suddenly realized that yes, that was today’s topic. Not leaving our day up to chance.

So, having left the topic seemingly up to chance, I am going to talk about NOT leaving our day up to chance.

The Sunday we took my son back to school, I spent my time staying out of my son’s way, first, and second, getting my newsletter ready to send out on Tuesday.

Because I did not want to leave the completion of that up to chance.  It’s important to me to publish my newsletter and podcast and I need to be intentional around those tasks to ensure they are completed.

Similarly, I was talking with the college student before he left.  Last year when he started college, he quickly learned that the nice people who cleaned the bathrooms on his dorm floor cleaned the bathroom right around the time he planned to shower so he could make his 9 am class on time.  So he adjusted to a different time.

He is in a different dorm this year, so he needs to learn the rhythm of the new dorm, and this semester’s schedule.  We discussed what time his first class is every day this semester.  So he can adjust. 

When you gain that new information, as soon as you gain that information, you have the opportunity to adjust, to incorporate that new information and, uh, make your day make more sense.  All of that really makes me think about this phrase that’s on my list, don’t leave your day up to chance.

He and I also talked about how every day is different, and they should be, but our routines don’t have to be.  My son mentioned he has friends who are very chaotic when it comes to their routines, and that makes him really anxious. He knows that that’s not for him, and I absolutely respect that because it’s not for me, either. 

So, we can create routines around routine needs and tasks, we can be intentional about the important things, and we can leave the questions, the mysteries, the variables, etc., for other times of the day. 

The point is, being Intentional is NOT not leaving your routines or important things up to chance.  That’s it. It’s being intentional with how you want to spend the first or last 20 minutes to 2 hours, whatever that looks like for you, how you want to spend that for yourself. And not leaving it up to chance, not leaving it up to whim, or how the rest of the world feels like you need to spend your day. Right?

So what does that look like?

I’ve been re-working my own morning routines the last few weeks, adding in some things that I’d like to achieve.  And this is NOT ME wanting to pack even more productivity in my morning. No, I actually want to pack more meditation and calm and journaling in my morning and having a little more room to breathe.  So it’s not just packing more things, tasks, expectations, responsibilities into our morning. It is being intentional with what is IMPORTANT. For me, that is intentionally balancing productivity with rest and recovery, which we explored in a recent podcast.

Not leaving your day up to chance means it’s your turn to choose. And what does that look like for you? If you know that something is important in your day (“Important” means, meets a need, helps you meet your goals, supports what it is that you want to achieve), don’t leave it up to chance, to “Well, I’ll get to it if I get to it.”

So back to my original case study.  The most important thing that I could do on move-in day was to successfully get my son to school feeling supported, excited, capable, energized, whatever that looks like for him. And so what that looked like for us was, in the weeks leading up to move-in day, to check in regularly in the packing process to make sure he had what he needed. A successful transition was NOT going to happen by chance.

He did the work himself, because it is his work to do and he’s awesome. But I did things, too, to not leave success up to chance. My husband and I both independently filled the gas tanks the day before. I love that. We both did not want to leave success up to chance.

And in the midst of making sure that he had everything he needed, to not leave the important things up to chance, I made sure, because my next two days are going to be extremely busy supporting loved ones, that my important tasks also weren’t left up to chance.  I made sure to get my newsletter out on time, which is very important to me for lots of reasons. I hit “send” on that 48 hours in advance because it’s important.  I also started to think about the next day, when I would be back on the road again to help with a different loved one with a move in Michigan. I’d like to think all will be well, but that depends on many variables – weather, traffic, ease of move-in, that I don’t have control over!  And I’ll be ready to adjust, that’s fine.  Because I was intentional and completed the other important tasks already.

Another example to make my point: Years ago, a client said she was waiting for the day when she would wake up, spring out of bed and feel motivated and ready to organize, just spontaneously. She expected that she would wake up one day, and that was going to be her reality.  AND she was going to wait until that magic day came. But that day had NOT happened in 50 some years. I challenged her to say, if it has never happened before, are you sure that it is going to happen? And is organizing something you should leave up to chance?  This was somebody who had reached out to me because it was important for her to get organized, enough so to call somebody to find support. And I absolutely respect that. However, I wouldn’t want her to base future progress on the motivated morning that may or may not magically happen. The stars would align, the right combination of mood and energy and sleep and opportunity in the day, and suddenly, poof.  And I would challenge all of us to NOT use this way to strategize.

There are facets of our lives that are very important. And once we have established what those are, what those Focus Areas, people, relationships, situations, skill building, what it is in our life that’s important, we don’t leave those things up to chance.

I’m not saying that there can’t be flexibility. There MUST be flexibility, it’s not optional.  But if there’s something that you deem to be important, again, whatever that means to you, then don’t leave it up to chance. Do what you can to make that thing happen. And, I’m not saying it has to happen all at once. But we can’t wait for the perfect opportunity to happen before we act because that is unlikely to yield the results we are seeking. We have to DO the actions and recognize the important things that need done, and not leave important things up to chance.

The Importance of Rest and Recovery

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I am not an expert on Rest and Recovery (strong start, I know!). I wish I was, but I’m not.  But I am an expert in time management and productivity, and Rest and Recovery are definitely part of Time Management and Productivity.

As a coach, I have conversations with my clients about Rest and Recovery because they are the experts about themselves and together we can have a conversation about what they want. We can set intentions and make plans, based on what they need to flourish in life.

It’s interesting to me – I sat down to write this on a Sunday afternoon, and suddenly got so sleepy that I just wanted to take a little nap! And the best part is that, since it’s Sunday, I could and I did!

Today I want to talk about Rest and Recovery. And I want to tell you about my herb garden.

We have been in and out of town these last few weeks.  And still my garden grew.  I didn’t do anything to it (other than water it), or ask anything of it, but it still grew.

And, I think perhaps BECAUSE I ignored it and let it be and just do its thing, It Grew. 

Also interesting, the topic of “Rest and Recovery” has been an intended topic on my editorial content calendar for me for a month or two, but I have been too busy or had too many other things to talk about, to make time for it.

A few weeks ago, I mentioned that we can ask ourselves the question of “what would help us the most”, what can you do to help Future You the most. And sometimes the answer is “rest and recovery”.

When I started thinking about this topic, I came across this quote by Stacie Swift,

“Sometimes the reason everything feels too much is because it is. You’re only one lovely person who can only do and give so much. Be Kind to Yourself.” 

Relatedly, what is your phone battery life at this moment?  (Ha, just plugged mine in, when I thought to ask that.  It was at 39%.) I always start the day fully charged, but some days I can plow through most of the charge before the end of the day. 

And have you noticed? Once you know your phone battery is below a certain percent, you start to feel the pinch. You and I, we change our behavior, knowing that our battery life is limited.  We opt to not do things on our phone, perhaps we change the screen brightness or make other adjustments.  And we might obsess over when we can get it plugged in again. 

Because we don’t want to be caught at 8% and then really need to do something important.

I have a charging cord next to my desk that fits all three of my apple devices (airpods, phone and Ipad).  Once my phone is charged up again, I will plug in my Ipad (73%, read a book and did some streaming before I fell asleep last night.) I have habits around plugging in and recharging my devices, and also my self.

The past few months, I have spent a lot of time talking about what “Ready” looks like, how to be and feel ready for whatever life might throw our way. And that includes our own energy and self.

I am an active person, enthusiastic and full of movement.  But that energy has to come from somewhere and so I need to rest and recover. And regardless of what Your baseline is, I guarantee that you also need in your life to have regular sessions to rest and recover to survive, to maintain your usual daily life and to move ahead with whatever it is that you want to move ahead with.

Perhaps it is a sign of aging, but I cannot push my limits of energy and focus as far as I used to be able to.  I would prefer to think this is a sign of wisdom, but it could just be necessity! 

We can push and push and push for a while, with only a few negative effects. But the precursor to not feeling well is to feel run down, and we can’t ignore either feeling.

Opting out of recovery no longer works for me or is sustainable, and actually is a recipe for disaster.  Eventually, stress and fatigue and the effects of them come out, bidden or unbidden.

I liked this quote from @MegDurham_ on Insta,

“If you don’t want to burn out, stop living life like you’re on fire.”

I have never been good at taking it easy, and that is not actually what I am advocating for, unless you’d like to – and then go for it! What I have gotten better at is Regular Maintenance, including

  • Good sleep,
  • adequate hydration,
  • healthier food choices,
  • supplementation,
  • meditation,
  • choosing quiet time instead of interactions, and  
  • better scheduling (though I still stumble and even fall in this area sometime).

Let’s think about three kinds of energy: physical and mental and emotional energy (I guess this is my day to quote thought leaders, because I was reminded of these three kinds of energy by Brendon Bouchard on a recent podcast I listened to). And when I think about Rest and Recovery, it’s not just about energy – our bodies actually require time to mend.

I don’t usually like to talk about the negative, but we have to know this for ourselves: What is it that drains your battery?  I’ll share mine:

  • Worry / Concern.  When my kids are going through something big, I am going through it, too (whether they know it or not.)  OR when my mom or another loved one is in the hospital, that is a steady low-level drain of worry.  Jumping every time the phone rings, hypervigilance, analyzing details, communication, etc.
  • Energy vampires: yes that is really a thing. I bring positive energy with me, and some folks count on that positive energy, and that’s ok.  But some folks take more than I have to give.  In addition, I am an empathetic person and may take on the emotions of others in my environment if I am not careful. 
  • I mentioned in my recent hiking article and podcast that Rest and Recovery after major hikes MUST happen if I expect my body to continue to move.
  • Life! I have a family to love and a home to manage. I work full time plus add in the occasional singing gig; I volunteer for my Parish in ministries; I serve on our local School Board.  That is a lot, and I wouldn’t change a thing, but yes – I get tired!
  • This week, I encourage you to look around your life and determine where those energy leaks may be – the slow trickles and the big gushes!

And what do Rest and Recovery look like for you?  I use myself as an example a lot, because then I don’t have to change names or ask permission.  For me, Rest and Recovery look like….

  • A break from whatever my current exertion is, physical exercise, mental work, emotional overload.
    • It can be 30 seconds, it can be 5 minutes, it can be a day a week or a month.  But it is NOT optional.  When we try to make it optional and still push the limits, burnout or illness may occur.
  • Checking in with myself physically, mentally or emotionally, several times a day and determining what I might need in that moment to take care of me.
  • Adjusting my pace, either physically slowing down or taking a few moments to collect myself.
  • Actual interventions like food, water, rest, sleep, square breathing or actual meditation if I have more time;
  • Awareness for yourself if you are an extrovert (you find energy in interacting with other people), an introvert (you find energy from being along), or an ambivert (how you find energy changes between needing to be around others and needing to be alone), and acting accordingly.

This week, let me advocate for you and for me, and remind us all that Rest and Recovery are not just a really good idea, they are actually essential ingredients for our well-being. We can set the intention to acknowledge that Rest and Recovery time matter, we can be aware of how we are feeling, and we can make efforts to take care of ourselves.

Body Double: Prepositions and Productivity

Let’s talk Prepositions.

And Productivity.

Prepositions and Productivity.

Last night, I had an epiphany: I realized I should think of this week’s topic as a podcast first and THEN an article, and not the other way around, which would be my usual approach. However, sometimes things are just easier to say than they are to write.

For example, what I want to talk about this week is something called Body Doubling. Body Doubling is… well, it’s many things. It’s an awareness. It is a strategy. It is a tool to use for greater productivity, if and when you need it. And isn’t that the best sort of tool or strategy, the one you can use as needed? And it all starts with awareness.

Another term for Body Doubling is “Parallel Work”, and I really like that term as well. Let’s face it, the term “Body Doubling” sometimes sounds like we’re talking about space aliens in some b movie from the 80s.

Body Doubling is the phenomenon? idea? awareness? that sometimes we work better with others. We may work better with others even if we aren’t working on the same work. With others, among others, around others, beside others, by and near other people, and any other prepositions we can use!

We can be motivated, inspired, accountable and anchored to our work simply by the presence of another person or persons. We can model the productivity to others, or be modeled to, to get the work done. We don’t necessarily have to work with people on the the same project. We can each work independently on what we need to complete. But just being in the midst of other people working can help us to stay more focused on our own work.

I’ve noticed an increase lately of conversations and articles about body doubling, probably from a similar increase in remote working and more generally accepted conversations about neurodiversity, since body doubling is a strategy that can work for all people, and also people with ADHD and other neuro-diversities.

My youngest son is away at college. While he was home for break, I mentioned that I had to hop on a zoom call, that a group of us were working on our own projects but together so we’re more committed to getting things done.  He said, “Oh, body doubling”.  Like it was obvious. I love that this idea is readily discussed and is accessible to him.  Body doubling is not news. Obviously, people have been working together for better productivity for EVER. But the idea that this is actually a strategy that can be used as necessary might be news to you.

Let’s look at different instances when Body Doubling shows up.

  • Before I had a name for it, I recognized that sometimes my sons needed to work at the dining room table together with me or with each other to get their homework done. And sometimes they needed to work alone. And it was helpful to know we had a choice.
  • Just yesterday, body doubling occurred when my husband asked me if I wanted to take a walk. Did it occur to me to take a walk on my own? Maybe. But since we agreed to walk and discussed when and where to go, we were more likely to make it happen (and we did!).
  • Years ago, a client and friend said it would be enough for me to just come and sit and read in her living room while she organized, because having someone there with her helped her to focus on the projects.
  • A bookkeeper friend shares office space with a friend during tax season because she knows she is less likely to get distracted when she is working side by side with someone else working on taxes.
  • A friend struggled early in lockdown when his office went fully remote. He had been unaware of the boost to productivity he experienced working side by side with coworkers until that was gone and he struggled to stay motivated and get things done.
  • A friend realized that a partner and friend along for the ride would make a dreaded errand less dreadful. So she enlisted a friend to join her for the errand and they made an afternoon of it. And the errand was completed.
  • As an organizer, I have known about body doubling for years because it is a strategy that comes from working with a professional organizer. Making an appointment to organize makes organizing happen. I am not doing the work for my clients but WITH them, anchoring them to the space and to the work.

Now that we know that body doubling works, let’s look at how to work it into our productivity practices.

  • The First Step Is Always Awareness:
    • Identify that body doubling is a strategy, and realize that you might be a person who benefits from it!
  • How To Use the Tool:
    • Ask yourself, How Do You Do Your Best Work? Identify what types of work benefits from body doubling.
      • For example, for me, intense brain work tasks and final edits are best done alone, silent and with no distraction. But most other types of my work benefit from working alongside others. So I plan accordingly.
    • Enlist Aid:
      • When looking for a body double, find someone who matches or improves your energy. If you’re struggling to get things done, reach out to someone who is motivated and positive!
      • “Phone a friend” but be choosy about the friend! Phone a friend, but make sure that friend will be someone who is supportive of your productivity!
      • Everyone Can Win: Set up an arrangement, like you will body double with your friend for her organizing project this week, and she can come over and be your body double for your closet project next week!
    • Join a Group!
      • A client (a college professor) has been part of Writing Groups for years. Fellow academics get together regularly, either in-person or virtually, and dedicate time just for goal setting and writing.
      • I joined Momentum Sessions (https://focus-sessions.momentumdash.com) so I can hop into a focus group to get work done. Seeing other folks on the screen in our zoom room helps me to stay on track!
      • Join me for Finish Line Friday every Friday morning!
      • For another way to feel like you have a body-double, try https://coffitivity.com/
    • Start Your Own Group:
      • A friend started a morning walking group in her neighborhood, to help her friends (for sure!) but also to help herself commit to walking!
      • Start a group at work!
        • Most office environments are geared to parallel work, but you may want to discuss how to avoid disruptions if you start a group.
        • Set up boundaries for group work, for example, quiet or silence for part of the time, expectations from the different group members, length of time per session, etc.
    • Check out your usual haunts – do you find that you can be more productive at your local coffee shop, library, college campus, etc? Make an appointment with yourself to work from there!

Now that you know more about body doubling and how it works, it’s time to step back and look at your tasks and work for this week and strategize how to make body doubling work for you!

Not Done Yet? Pay Attention to Your Neglect!

Wow, there is irony here. I drafted this article originally in early 2021. And it was neglected until now. And yes, I am absolutely paying attention to my neglect this week!

There are many things that I will never do or projects I will never complete, even if perhaps at one time I thought I would complete them.

And I am ok with that.

I’m encouraging you to be honest with – and OK! with – your self about those tasks or projects that you will never do, either.

Of course, if you know me and read my articles or listen to my podcasts – you know that I’m a big fan of goal setting and aspirations and dreams and plans. We all need them, and I will be your biggest cheerleader as you work towards them.

However, I also want us, you AND me, to mostly be realistic. (But still dream and aim HIGH!) Because, being realistic about the things we WILL NOT complete helps us to focus on and make time for the projects that we will do, that light us up and make our hearts sing!

This week, I challenge us to learn from our neglect.

For example, I own books that I have not yet read. I bought them upon the recommendations of others or glowing reviews or because they looked interesting. Perhaps they were a gift, or a loan from someone who thought I should read this book. I still have to choose if I am going to read the book or not, but I have also gotten much better about not taking on a book I probably won’t read. I can learn from my neglect of those books on the “To Read” shelf, parked there for years. Marie Kondo would say we can learn even from half-read books – we learned that we don’t want to read that book. And clearing away the books that I have neglected and that still don’t appeal to me moves the other books that I want to read up the priority list.

There has been other learning, as well. For example, I started writing this article 2 years ago. I had learned that, when I have a lot more free time, like in lockdown or while recovering from surgery, I still will not put together a jigsaw puzzle or elect to do an art project. So, if I come across a half-completed project in a drawer or cabinet, I will never say “Ooh, yes, this! Yeah, glitter!” Or whatever…

Now, again – don’t get me wrong: perhaps you are organizing a space and come across a project or a book or a long lost idea and say “Yes! Thank goodness I found this!” Sure, you got distracted or forgot about it but now that you have found it, you can’t wait to finish! Go for it!

I have certainly acted on neglected items in the last year, so this is NOT an article where I tell you to give up on your dreams. Long neglected, I thought about starting my own Finish Line Friday productivity session for months before picking a date and time and offering the first session. And I talked about starting a podcast for YEARS before actually launching mine back in November.

But, getting clear on what we do and do not want to spend time on is an important productivity concept. (For more on this, check out my article on Focus Areas.)

Where else can we learn from our neglect?

  • Clothes in the closet that are never worn can tell us what colors or fabric types we prefer or not. OR they can tell us that the events the clothes were purchsed for either need to happen (so schedule them!) or the item needs to go!
  • To-Do items on our task list that continue to crop up without completion may be the sign that that task is not as important as we thought it was.
  • Or, Road trips dreamed of, but never planned, or foods purchased towards a health goal that has never coalesced.
  • Piles of clutter in our home or office that started out with good intentions and now just languish and cause us anxiety.

If you have a pile of uncompleted projects (UFO’s per a friend who quilts, or “Un Finished Objects”!) or uncompleted tasks on the to-do list, here is how to think through the process.

  • Identify the tasks or projects that are neglected. Recognize the neglect is occurring.
  • Ask yourself some questions!
    • Is this project or task my responsibility to complete, or someone else’s?
    • Was this my idea or someone else’s?
    • Do I really want to complete this project?
    • Does this project / task still fit into my goals or vision of myself and my future?
    • Will the outcome make me happy or am I doing it for someone else or under someone else’s expectations?
    • Is this unfinished because I lack the tools, or the time or the know how? (And how to remedy this!)
    • If resources were unlimited, would I complete this project? (This one is super helpful! If time / money were not object, would I jump at the chance to do this thing?!)
  • Some of the questions may be answered with a “Yes, this is my idea and I still want to do this thing, and here is when I will do it!” And that is awesome.
  • And some of them are not, so Let go of the guilt. Let go of the expectations. Let go of the clutter that goes with them. Make space for the things that you do want to do, that are YOUR choices and that will light you up!

[(I find this so fascinating – when I first started this blog article, I was listening to a live-stream from Adam Ezra group, and he is talking about prioritizing and making the work we do joyous! (https://www.adamezra.com/) ]

Looping back to the beginning, for example, even though I won’t craft or put together a jigsaw puzzle, I WILL: read voraciously, learn how to play the ukelele, post Facebook Lives with songs solo and with my hubby, learn about new musical artists, etc. THOSE things will happen. And the books that have sat neglected for too long and that I no longer want to read have been purged from my reading pile to make room for the books I DO want to read!

Look around this week, identify your neglected items and ask yourself some questions to Learn From Your Neglect!

Better Communications to Maximize Moments

Communications: Scripted and Unscripted

“I propose: Getting clear on your own communications and expectations can save you time and lessen aggravation! Less follow-up, less drama, fewer mistakes!”

February is Time Management Month and I promised via my newsletter we would dig a little deeper into matters of Time Management. This week I want to talk about keeping our communications on track to maximize our time management.

I am a podcaster now. (I love saying that!) Last week, I taught a 4 hour time management class for a training program at a local community college, and one of the participants actually asked how to write for and start a podcast! So I shared a few ideas.

And here is the thing – and perhaps you have noticed, if you are a regular listener – I write my notes for every episode.

Mostly.

I want to make sure I cover what I want to cover, and I don’t really trust myself to remember it all in the moment, or under pressure of recording (not that there is much pressure). But I want to remember, so I write most of my script.

Equally important, though, are the unscripted moments. The off-the-cuff moments.

For example, in addition to being a certified professional organizer, I am also a professional musician. And I can perform hundreds of songs without music in front of me. But I prefer to see the music in front of me, just in case. Scripted, right? However, even though I have not written the song, I can put my own stamp on it in the performance, my personal interpretation. Unscripted.

Let me be clear. I am my own life-long coaching and organizing project! Organizing comes as easy as breathing to me, as do coaching topics, but I will forever be a work in progress. And Communications are ever evolving for me!

My actor son and I were discussing that so many plot lines for tv/movies/plays evolve around drama created by poor communications. We talked about Shakespeare to modern day, but it’s true. How much drama is created when we don’t communicate clearly, we jump to conclusions, we make assumptions, or things just don’t go as planned?

I propose: Getting clear on your own communications and expectations can save you time and lessen aggravation! Less follow-up, less drama, fewer mistakes!

I am suggesting a combination of Scripted and Unscripted communications strategies.

How do we script our communications? But also keep them unscripted enough to remain meaningful and personal?

Here’s an example of the combination of Scripted and Unscripted:

When I was in college in Ohio, I would call my parents in Michigan on Sunday nights. This was our arrangement. And since we did not yet have email or texting, that was the one certain time that we would communicate in a week. And I used to keep a note of things / events / achievements I wanted to tell them about. Of course we also would chat about anything and everything else, too, but I had a note so I didn’t forget. And of course, I have caught grief about this habit from my siblings over the years as being over-organized, but that is not news. And I digress.

Another example of the combination of scripted and unscripted (sort of):

I prefer in-person and face to face communications over talking on the telephone. So unless I’m just checking in with a family member, I usually have at least some reason to make a phone call and therefore a mental agenda (probably just a point or two) for the call. Because, to manage our time, we can also manage our conversations. We can manage ourselves and be as clear as possible about expectations and time limits AND still listen closely and let the conversation evolve naturally.

I will often manage a phone call, especially about professional matters like my business or school board work like I would run a meeting, with an appointed start time, an agreed-upon goal and length of call, and a summary and statement of next steps at the end.

That example of scripted and unscripted communications leads me to Boundaries and Best Practices, all of which we set for ourselves.

Another story from childhood regarding boundaries (which I am constantly working on) or etiquette:

Growing up, we had etiquette rules for using the family home phone. We weren’t supposed to make or receive calls after 9:30 at night because it was rude to bother others at bedtime. Our friends knew not to call after 9:30. Same thing for morning phone calls. No calls before 8 am or so. Which is funny, as these are my dad’s rules and he sometimes calls me now long before 8 am my time (he lives in a different time zone). And don’t worry, he won’t be offended that I brought this up, he doesn’t do technology and he certainly doesn’t listen to podcasts. More importantly, I still have those guidelines in my head so I don’t make or take calls and texts extra early or late at night.

What I can do, to script, is to model the behavior I prefer.

  • I will not send a text or make a call outside what might be deemed polite time.
  • I do not typically answer work related calls, texts or emails on a weekend.
  • In some relationships like a coaching relationship, I ask others for their preferred method of communications. Perhaps someone will some day ask me the same!
  • I at least initiate correspondence in my chosen method.

Let’s go back to college and Speech 101: In communications we have the sender, the message and language, the method of communication, the message and language received by the receiver and then feedback. WE need to keep all of those components in mind if we’re going to do a good job!

Here are ways that communication can go awry:

  • “You know what they say…” No, perhaps I do not. Please tell me, specifically.
  • “It goes without saying.” No, no it does not. Say it anyway. I am a good communicator, but I really need to be clear on what message you are sending, and I am not a mind reader.
  • “Well, you know…” No, No I don’t know. Please be more specific.
  • “What do you think they meant by that?” In the context of someone else’s statement. For me, I think they meant what they said, and if they didn’t, I’m not going to make things worse by guessing, extrapolating or theorizing about how or what someone else communicated.

Good communications save time when we are clear with what we are saying and what we are hearing. I heard a great question listening to a podcast today – If someone asks you a question and you’re unclear about what they are asking, ask them to “Please ask the question in a different way.” (The Mind Your Business Podcast with James Wedmore.) It takes into consideration jargon and semantics. And I often check in with people in conversation – “did I fully answer the question you were asking?“

What have we learned?

  • Get clear on your communications to save yourself time later!
  • Have a Script, at least a little, around managing your communications, but be flexible enough to embrace unscripted as well.
  • Establish your own communication boundaries and be ready to lead by example
  • Check in regularly with others regarding your own communications. And,
  • In addition, on your various communications channels, factor these check-ins to your routines, to ensure two way communication is happening.

Where can you improve communications this week with this new awareness?

“What’s The Plan?” (I just need to know there is one.)

What’s your plan for 2023?

In my Time Management and Productivity Presentations, I talk A LOT about planning. Two quotes I share in those presentations are:

  • “By failing to plan, you are preparing to fail”.  (Ben Franklin)

    And
  • “In preparing for battle I have always found that plans are useless but planning is indispensable.” (Dwight D. Eisenhower)

In this quote from Dwight D. Eisenhower, he uses “plan” and “planning” as both nouns and verbs. For today’s purposes, “a plan”, the noun, is “a detailed proposal for doing or achieving something” (per google) or “a set of actions that are intended to achieve a specific aim” (per Cambridge Dictionary).

Considering who I am, it is no surprise that I love a good plan.

Why do I love a good plan?

A good plan orders our steps. It calms our fears, knowing that there is a plan. It motivates us and keeps us on track. A good plan is not a perfect plan. A good plan is flexible and should be able to – sometimes expected to – change and evolve. And even if a plan may be subject to change, it’s still vitally important to go through the planning process.

For example:

When I text my clients to confirm our appointments, I often ask “What on the agenda?”

Here’s the thing – I ask this question many times a week. I ask my clients about the plan, but… I don’t actually need to know the plan until I arrive for our appointment.

This question is not for me, or for my benefit, it’s for my client. In organizing, I am the expert about organizing but my client is the expert about themselves and their situation.

If you’re my client and you have a plan, I can make some assumptions.

  • Awareness: I can assume you have have the necessary list of possible projects or life situations you would like to improve or accomplish.
  • Prioritizing: I can also assume that you have thought about the priority for these projects and situations.
  • Ownership and Agency: I can assume you have reviewed the list and the priorities and decided on what task or project or objective we should work on that will help you the most today.
  • Flexibility: We can always add to or subtract from the plan, and I can also help you with any of these steps as we work together, but the assumptions remain.

I was chatting with my son in the kitchen yesterday. I take him back to college for his second semester this coming weekend and I asked him if there was a plan for moving back in.

And then I leaned over to him and whispered “I don’t actually need to know the plan right now.” And he knew that, too.

Why?

Because this process, this moving-back-in event, is not my process or my event. It is his process. I will always help, of course. I can help him craft the plan, I will support his plan and implementation, I will do whatever he needs me to do. BUT, the plan is not my plan. It’s his plan. He is super smart, he is excellent at problem solving and HE knows his needs at college far better than I do. Essentially, a week before we hit the road, I only want to know that he is thinking about the process. I don’t need to know the plan, and it’s likely to change in the next few days anyway. I just need to know that there is a plan.

Awareness. Priorities. Ownership and Agency. Flexibility.

So, what’s your plan for 2023? I don’t need to know what the plan is, but for your sake, I really – for you – want to know that you have a plan.

And if you would like to craft that plan, and would like a listening ear and partner in the process, drop me an email at colleen@peaceofmindpo.com and let’s talk about organizational and productivity coaching in 2023.