My link: http://www.stbaldricks.org/participants/mypage/595388/2013
My son’s link: http://www.stbaldricks.org/participants/mypage/595381/2013
Bald by choice, for those who are not.
I am shaving my head on Friday to raise awareness and money for children’s cancer research at a St. Baldrick’s event in my community.
The St. Baldrick’s Foundation collects funds for Children’s cancer research. It began as an idea among 3 friends back in 1999 and became a foundation in 2005. Last year they raised over 30 million dollars, bringing their total to over $100 million dollars in research grants since 2005.
My children are healthy, but cancer has touched all of our lives. I have lost friends to cancer, and have several more suffering right now. One friend, a father with three boys my sons’ ages, died from a type of brain cancer mostly found in children. One of my cub scouts, Emmet, now cancer free, is a poster child for St. Baldrick’s.
My sons have participated in St. Baldrick’s, as have my cub scouts and many others in my community. In 2012, my 8 year old raised over $800 in sponsorship himself. This year, it is my turn to step up, so he and I will be shaving our heads together at a St. Baldrick’s event on Friday, March 15th.
Truthfully, I am nervous. I’ve never been bald before. I really like my hair, and consider it part of who I am, part of what makes me… well, me.
My biggest fear, though, is that I am making light of what people fighting cancer are really going through, by glibly shaving my head. As though I can take away their pain and make them feel better with this gesture. My second biggest fear is that my bald head may generate compassion I do not deserve, being bald by choice and not be necessity.
But I have faith that I am doing this for the right reasons, and that my outward gesture may motivate others to share what they can to support St. Baldricks and the many other cancer research fundraisers, the walks and runs and activities, so that someday, cancer will be no more.
So, if you see me around the neighborhood, here are the easy answers to your “Why are you shaving your head?” question:
- It is a great way to get involved, and hey – It’s just hair. It will grow back.
- I am so proud of my son, this will be his third year participating in St. Baldricks. Last year, I promised I would do it with him this year, and I am not going to let him down.
- Or maybe my brother is right, Being bald will really free me up when I get ready in the morning!
The tougher answer is:
If I can help, I should help. Because let’s face it, Cancer Sucks.
Please consider sponsoring my son and I this Friday.
Wow. I just saw this post, Colleen. How did it go? Wearing a hat at Starved Rock, I hope. Guard against head cold . . .and sunburn!
I admire your courage. I don’t think you did this “glibly” at all, far from it. Yes, it was by choice. . . which to me makes it more courageous. People who lose their hair from chemo have no choice, but you *did*. It’s one thing for boys to do it. . . they’re boys!. .. it’s another thing for mom to do it. I’ve heard that one mom was televised while having her head shaved, and she cried, and she was ashamed that she was crying. If you did cry (as I know I would), you can at least be thankful that there were no cameras rolling. (If it were me, I’d request no photographs and no witnesses. I’d want more privacy than childbirth. Just me, the person with the clippers, and a large box of tissues.)
I talked to a friend (a breast cancer survivor) last weekend about her post-traumatic stress, which she minimized because she had survived while others didn’t. Someone else’s suffering will always be greater than our own, but that doesn’t de-legitimize our own suffering. The sacrifice of self always brings suffering, though it’s the kind that may enlarge our compassion for others. That’s a Good Friday kind of courage, for sure. Jesus chose to suffer, too, or so they say. Fr. Andrew Greeley wrote (in response to Mel Gibson’s gory *Passion of the Christ*) that we tend to fetishize Christ’s suffering, to make it so big that it’s larger than life, beyond human. (You know, those mega crucifixes. . . CK has one.) Greeley’s point was that our suffering* is* Christ’s suffering, whether it’s losing your friend or your hair. We are human; we suffer; we share this human condition with all its indignities, large and small. (Okay, now I’m thinking about my dad, which makes me feel sad, but you get my point. I guess that *was* my point.)
Anyway, you did it for the right reasons, but I hope you will have compassion for yourself for own suffering and find that it enlarges your sense of self rather than diminishes it. And if you’re not suffering, you’re a better woman than me, because I am SO vain about my hair, they’d either have to sedate me or restrain me (or both).
I hope it’s not too late to make a contribution!
Peace, Bridget
Bridget, I am always so glad when you comment on my blog. You write so well, and have fascinating things to say!
And you are right, we all have our suffering, whether it feels big or small to us, or to others. I feel my little suffering is such a small price to pay for helping out, which means it doesn’t really feel like suffering at all.
When my husband and I were dating, many years ago, he shared a comment from a friend, that the secret to life was “to learn to suffer well”. At the time, I was young and idealistic and thought that sounded so sad and terrible. And now, the older I get and the more life I live, the more I see the truth in the statement.
I was just explaining to someone the selfish side of selflessness, too, that there can be a joy in giving and sacrifice. That feeling joy in sacrifice doesn’t diminish the sacrifice.
Thanks for your response.
Just went to your website, Colleen. . . you look SO cute! Seriously, you look great! With those big, beautiful dark eyes, that buzz cut and the surly look, your look is totally rebel chic and post-punk. Get a St. Baldrick’s tattoo and a pair Doc Martens and ROCK THAT LOOK, girl!