If you are looking for love from your stuff, you’re missing the point.

If I haven’t said it lately, let me say it now:  Life IS Not About The Stuff.

Life is about our interactions with other people.

Life is about love, friendship and relationships.

Life is about faith, service to others and our community, and using our gifts and skills for personal and professional achievements.

Life is about experiences and beauty, perhaps travel and adventure.

Life is about a million different things… that probably aren’t really things at all.

Our stuff cannot love us.  It can only serve a purpose.

I am not saying that Stuff is bad.  For example, I really love my home.  And there are items in my house that I love and would be very sad to lose.  But mostly I love my home because it’s where my family lives, it’s filled with memories and good energy, it makes me feel warm and happy.  Our homes serve purposes; keeping us safe; a gathering place for friends and family; a retreat; a parking space for the things we need to use to love and serve others and work on our accomplishments.  We can love our home, but it is more likely that we love what it does for us.

I love my van, or to be clear, I really appreciate my van.  Not because it is a spectacular vehicle, but because it gets me and my family safely and comfortably where we need to go.  Would I love it more if it were a Mini Cooper instead of a minivan? Probably not (though I’d be happy to find out some day!)

 

Last summer, I offered a presentation on the Marie Kondo “Magic Art of Tidying Up” book.  We can learn much from the book, both what TO DO and what NOT TO DO with our stuff.  A problem with the book, though, is the idea that our stuff should Spark Joy in us.   The author recommends that we hold every item we own, and only keep it if the item sparks joy in us.

I understand what the author’s message and I even agree to some extent, but it’s ridiculous think that my new jeans will Spark Joy. They are jeans.  Just jeans. They make me happy because they will serve a purpose, keep me warm and relatively fashionable while I go about my days.  But expecting Joy from a pair of pants?  Um, no.

If I only kept my stuff that “Sparks Joy”, I would be in serious danger of purging too much stuff instead of not enough.  Joy does not come from our stuff.

When we can separate our stuff and our feelings, we can look at our stuff more objectively and clear clutter.

We can realize that our deceased loved ones do not exist in their stuff they left behind.  We can love and cherish the memory  of a person, but still let go of the 20 boxes left to us when they downsized or passed.

We can realize that we need to clear clutter left over from 5, 10 or 20 years ago or a life we’re no longer leading, in favor of a clearer, more organized and easy life today with the people that we love now (including ourselves).

And we can look at our stuff from a different and more positive perspective.  First, ask yourself what Life / Love / Joy you want.  And then ask “What stuff do I own that will move me towards the Life / Love / Joy that I want?”  Don’t look for love in the attic or basement or the back of your closet.  It’s not there. Clear your clutter and Look for Love in the world around you.

Happy Valentine’s Day, Friends!

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