It took 40+ years (okay, closer to 50), 20 of those as a mom, but I’m finally figuring out Self Care, and the difference between Self Care and Me Time.

First of all, can we just call it something else?  My friend Jan clarified for me – Self Care is investing in good habits now to help Future You later.  So, some days, it seems self-care is actually survival.  It’s taking care of the basics of life, so there is something left in us at the end of the day.  For a long time, “Self-Care” seemed too selfish and warm and fuzzy for me, but now I understand how essential it truly is.

I coach people in Time Management all the time, but “Me Time”?  Well, Me Time still escapes  me.  Perhaps it was the 12 minutes of reading the new Dan Brown book before nodding off last night, or relaxing with some yard maintenance on a beautiful sunny day.  That will have to be good enough for now, and I’m ok with that.

Here, friends, is organizer insight applied to Self Care.  Read on, or not.  It’s up to you.

Be Nice To You.
I’m not terribly judgmental… except of myself.   Even if I notice a shortcoming in someone else, I try to accept it with compassion or just let it go… except when it’s me.  Conversely – and you can tell me if this is true for you or not, as well – I also have the utmost faith in my own abilities to do pretty much everything, and all at the same time.  Until human fallibility comes in, and then I’m back to being overly judgmental of myself.

So, my first suggestion for self care for you and for me  is to be nice to you, and show yourself the same compassion you show others.

Also, be nice to you because you may be the only one who knows you are suffering.  This is not because your loved ones don’t care.  They might not notice that you’re having a rough time.  Perhaps you have made life seem so easy for so long that no one even worries about you, or it may just take too darned long to explain or ask for care.  Like so many things, this may be up to you, dear.

Nourish yourself.
Feed yourself with healthy foods, and do it regularly.  Start with you, so you have energy to help others.  This is how I ended an email yesterday morning to my accountability partner:  ” Ok, cutting this short.  Heading to a hoarding clean-out, so nice Colleen is going to take care of future Colleen by spending the next 10 minutes making a healthy smoothie, packing a healthy lunch and dressing for safety.”

Figure out how to make nourishing yourself easier.  I spent part of my dinner-making time Sunday prepping food for the week.  I cleaned and cut produce, hard boiled eggs (my preferred packed-lunch on the go), and pre-bagged some snacks.  Preparing a Sunday dinner is relaxing to me, so it makes sense for me to hang out in the kitchen for a few more minutes.  Not so for you?  Don’t worry.  Cut corners, seriously, anywhere you can.

Take your nourishment with you.  As my son and I headed to school before I went to yesterday’s client, I placed my go mugs in my van cup holders, saying “Life Blood” (coffee) and “Breakfast” (my Greek yogurt / banana / whatever other fruit I have smoothie).   Let’s face it, plain Greek yogurt is sort of gross, but its a nutritional powerhouse and makes a great fruit smoothie I can sip as I drive!

Don’t bother with what you just don’t care about.
Over the weekend, I discussed with my friend Karen how great it is to be our current age.   With maturity has come the freedom to say “Nope, don’t need to know this.  Don’t need to worry about that.”    The things I do need to worry about are very real and plentiful, but it’s not EVERYTHING anymore.  Whatever the next fad or celebrity or TV show – nope, no thanks, I’m good.

Find your people.
Find your people.  Reach out to them often.  Make it brief, though, because truly – some days, who has the time? But share the love as much as you can, even in little ways, because we all need a boost some days.

Take care of you, friends.  And know that the rest of us are here to back you up when you need it.