Not Done Yet? Pay Attention to Your Neglect!

Wow, there is irony here. I drafted this article originally in early 2021. And it was neglected until now. And yes, I am absolutely paying attention to my neglect this week!

There are many things that I will never do or projects I will never complete, even if perhaps at one time I thought I would complete them.

And I am ok with that.

I’m encouraging you to be honest with – and OK! with – your self about those tasks or projects that you will never do, either.

Of course, if you know me and read my articles or listen to my podcasts – you know that I’m a big fan of goal setting and aspirations and dreams and plans. We all need them, and I will be your biggest cheerleader as you work towards them.

However, I also want us, you AND me, to mostly be realistic. (But still dream and aim HIGH!) Because, being realistic about the things we WILL NOT complete helps us to focus on and make time for the projects that we will do, that light us up and make our hearts sing!

This week, I challenge us to learn from our neglect.

For example, I own books that I have not yet read. I bought them upon the recommendations of others or glowing reviews or because they looked interesting. Perhaps they were a gift, or a loan from someone who thought I should read this book. I still have to choose if I am going to read the book or not, but I have also gotten much better about not taking on a book I probably won’t read. I can learn from my neglect of those books on the “To Read” shelf, parked there for years. Marie Kondo would say we can learn even from half-read books – we learned that we don’t want to read that book. And clearing away the books that I have neglected and that still don’t appeal to me moves the other books that I want to read up the priority list.

There has been other learning, as well. For example, I started writing this article 2 years ago. I had learned that, when I have a lot more free time, like in lockdown or while recovering from surgery, I still will not put together a jigsaw puzzle or elect to do an art project. So, if I come across a half-completed project in a drawer or cabinet, I will never say “Ooh, yes, this! Yeah, glitter!” Or whatever…

Now, again – don’t get me wrong: perhaps you are organizing a space and come across a project or a book or a long lost idea and say “Yes! Thank goodness I found this!” Sure, you got distracted or forgot about it but now that you have found it, you can’t wait to finish! Go for it!

I have certainly acted on neglected items in the last year, so this is NOT an article where I tell you to give up on your dreams. Long neglected, I thought about starting my own Finish Line Friday productivity session for months before picking a date and time and offering the first session. And I talked about starting a podcast for YEARS before actually launching mine back in November.

But, getting clear on what we do and do not want to spend time on is an important productivity concept. (For more on this, check out my article on Focus Areas.)

Where else can we learn from our neglect?

  • Clothes in the closet that are never worn can tell us what colors or fabric types we prefer or not. OR they can tell us that the events the clothes were purchsed for either need to happen (so schedule them!) or the item needs to go!
  • To-Do items on our task list that continue to crop up without completion may be the sign that that task is not as important as we thought it was.
  • Or, Road trips dreamed of, but never planned, or foods purchased towards a health goal that has never coalesced.
  • Piles of clutter in our home or office that started out with good intentions and now just languish and cause us anxiety.

If you have a pile of uncompleted projects (UFO’s per a friend who quilts, or “Un Finished Objects”!) or uncompleted tasks on the to-do list, here is how to think through the process.

  • Identify the tasks or projects that are neglected. Recognize the neglect is occurring.
  • Ask yourself some questions!
    • Is this project or task my responsibility to complete, or someone else’s?
    • Was this my idea or someone else’s?
    • Do I really want to complete this project?
    • Does this project / task still fit into my goals or vision of myself and my future?
    • Will the outcome make me happy or am I doing it for someone else or under someone else’s expectations?
    • Is this unfinished because I lack the tools, or the time or the know how? (And how to remedy this!)
    • If resources were unlimited, would I complete this project? (This one is super helpful! If time / money were not object, would I jump at the chance to do this thing?!)
  • Some of the questions may be answered with a “Yes, this is my idea and I still want to do this thing, and here is when I will do it!” And that is awesome.
  • And some of them are not, so Let go of the guilt. Let go of the expectations. Let go of the clutter that goes with them. Make space for the things that you do want to do, that are YOUR choices and that will light you up!

[(I find this so fascinating – when I first started this blog article, I was listening to a live-stream from Adam Ezra group, and he is talking about prioritizing and making the work we do joyous! (https://www.adamezra.com/) ]

Looping back to the beginning, for example, even though I won’t craft or put together a jigsaw puzzle, I WILL: read voraciously, learn how to play the ukelele, post Facebook Lives with songs solo and with my hubby, learn about new musical artists, etc. THOSE things will happen. And the books that have sat neglected for too long and that I no longer want to read have been purged from my reading pile to make room for the books I DO want to read!

Look around this week, identify your neglected items and ask yourself some questions to Learn From Your Neglect!