I started composing this content in the car on the way to drop off my son at college.  We took two cars.  I lost the coin flip and had most of the stuff in my car, and my husband and our son were in the other.  And our two different GPS apps sent us two different ways, so we got same place by different routes, different expressways here in the Midwest, around the same time.  Which is good to know, as we’ve often debated which way is faster.

We flipped a coin so my son didn’t feel pressured to choose between my husband or I to ride with, and we didn’t have to feel bad if my son didn’t choose us.  But I digress.

I have a digital document where my editorial content lives.  All my ideas, bits of writings, a schedule outline for the next few months.  In preparation for the solo drive and the thinking time I would have as I drove, I looked at the first two pages of it.  I add new info at the top, and also have the schedule pinned there.  It’s a ridiculously long document, probably close to 50 pages if I printed it, and I will NOT.  Some day soon I need to just delete most of it since I’m shifting my thinking these days. 

But there was a single line at the top left over from the recent Never Be Late Again content, I suddenly realized that yes, that was today’s topic. Not leaving our day up to chance.

So, having left the topic seemingly up to chance, I am going to talk about NOT leaving our day up to chance.

The Sunday we took my son back to school, I spent my time staying out of my son’s way, first, and second, getting my newsletter ready to send out on Tuesday.

Because I did not want to leave the completion of that up to chance.  It’s important to me to publish my newsletter and podcast and I need to be intentional around those tasks to ensure they are completed.

Similarly, I was talking with the college student before he left.  Last year when he started college, he quickly learned that the nice people who cleaned the bathrooms on his dorm floor cleaned the bathroom right around the time he planned to shower so he could make his 9 am class on time.  So he adjusted to a different time.

He is in a different dorm this year, so he needs to learn the rhythm of the new dorm, and this semester’s schedule.  We discussed what time his first class is every day this semester.  So he can adjust. 

When you gain that new information, as soon as you gain that information, you have the opportunity to adjust, to incorporate that new information and, uh, make your day make more sense.  All of that really makes me think about this phrase that’s on my list, don’t leave your day up to chance.

He and I also talked about how every day is different, and they should be, but our routines don’t have to be.  My son mentioned he has friends who are very chaotic when it comes to their routines, and that makes him really anxious. He knows that that’s not for him, and I absolutely respect that because it’s not for me, either. 

So, we can create routines around routine needs and tasks, we can be intentional about the important things, and we can leave the questions, the mysteries, the variables, etc., for other times of the day. 

The point is, being Intentional is NOT not leaving your routines or important things up to chance.  That’s it. It’s being intentional with how you want to spend the first or last 20 minutes to 2 hours, whatever that looks like for you, how you want to spend that for yourself. And not leaving it up to chance, not leaving it up to whim, or how the rest of the world feels like you need to spend your day. Right?

So what does that look like?

I’ve been re-working my own morning routines the last few weeks, adding in some things that I’d like to achieve.  And this is NOT ME wanting to pack even more productivity in my morning. No, I actually want to pack more meditation and calm and journaling in my morning and having a little more room to breathe.  So it’s not just packing more things, tasks, expectations, responsibilities into our morning. It is being intentional with what is IMPORTANT. For me, that is intentionally balancing productivity with rest and recovery, which we explored in a recent podcast.

Not leaving your day up to chance means it’s your turn to choose. And what does that look like for you? If you know that something is important in your day (“Important” means, meets a need, helps you meet your goals, supports what it is that you want to achieve), don’t leave it up to chance, to “Well, I’ll get to it if I get to it.”

So back to my original case study.  The most important thing that I could do on move-in day was to successfully get my son to school feeling supported, excited, capable, energized, whatever that looks like for him. And so what that looked like for us was, in the weeks leading up to move-in day, to check in regularly in the packing process to make sure he had what he needed. A successful transition was NOT going to happen by chance.

He did the work himself, because it is his work to do and he’s awesome. But I did things, too, to not leave success up to chance. My husband and I both independently filled the gas tanks the day before. I love that. We both did not want to leave success up to chance.

And in the midst of making sure that he had everything he needed, to not leave the important things up to chance, I made sure, because my next two days are going to be extremely busy supporting loved ones, that my important tasks also weren’t left up to chance.  I made sure to get my newsletter out on time, which is very important to me for lots of reasons. I hit “send” on that 48 hours in advance because it’s important.  I also started to think about the next day, when I would be back on the road again to help with a different loved one with a move in Michigan. I’d like to think all will be well, but that depends on many variables – weather, traffic, ease of move-in, that I don’t have control over!  And I’ll be ready to adjust, that’s fine.  Because I was intentional and completed the other important tasks already.

Another example to make my point: Years ago, a client said she was waiting for the day when she would wake up, spring out of bed and feel motivated and ready to organize, just spontaneously. She expected that she would wake up one day, and that was going to be her reality.  AND she was going to wait until that magic day came. But that day had NOT happened in 50 some years. I challenged her to say, if it has never happened before, are you sure that it is going to happen? And is organizing something you should leave up to chance?  This was somebody who had reached out to me because it was important for her to get organized, enough so to call somebody to find support. And I absolutely respect that. However, I wouldn’t want her to base future progress on the motivated morning that may or may not magically happen. The stars would align, the right combination of mood and energy and sleep and opportunity in the day, and suddenly, poof.  And I would challenge all of us to NOT use this way to strategize.

There are facets of our lives that are very important. And once we have established what those are, what those Focus Areas, people, relationships, situations, skill building, what it is in our life that’s important, we don’t leave those things up to chance.

I’m not saying that there can’t be flexibility. There MUST be flexibility, it’s not optional.  But if there’s something that you deem to be important, again, whatever that means to you, then don’t leave it up to chance. Do what you can to make that thing happen. And, I’m not saying it has to happen all at once. But we can’t wait for the perfect opportunity to happen before we act because that is unlikely to yield the results we are seeking. We have to DO the actions and recognize the important things that need done, and not leave important things up to chance.