When naming this article and episode, I tried Catawampus – as in, “when it all goes catawampus”, but my SEO score on my blog did not think that was a good idea. Noted.

I was a guest on the EP podcast episode that dropped last Tuesday, March 12.

We recorded on Monday, March 11th because that is the day I record my episode, too. And I was a guest on the EP Podcast because Chris, my producer, had a family emergency over the weekend with his 18 year old daughter. And she’s fine. Healing well.

And everybody’s fine in my house too. Everybody’s okay. We’ll start with that.

But we talked through, first of all, the situation and that it was crazy for them, I know. And then the question he asked me was, “After the fact, what do you do to pick up the pieces?” You’ve been through this dramatic and potentially traumatic situation and what do you do to get back on track?

In his situation, he has children other than the post-surgical one to take care of. He needs to take care of his daughter while she recovers. Anything he had planned for that day and also for the days to follow obviously just went out the window because, well, that’s what the situation required.

We’re going to do it because it needs done and we’re going to do it because our kids win and because we love them. And guys, I really do love you. So if you’re listening – well, I don’t think my kids listen to my podcast, but some of their friends do. And then we pick up the pieces and get back to normal, get back to work.

Here’s the twist. We recorded at noon on Monday because we usually record at noon on Mondays. We have systems for these things and everything else. I’m still like a week behind. I’d like to get back on track with that personally. That is a leftover from my recent surgery.

My college age son was home for his Spring Break and there was an incident and he lost consciousness in the kitchen. I’ll leave it at that. It was scary. He ended up going to the ER in an ambulance. So, a shout out to the Evergreen Park Fire Department, the EMTs when we called 911 were awesome and competent and kind. They took care of business, they took care of my son, they loaded him up and we went to the hospital.

One thing Chris mentioned on his episode was that his 18 year old was still eligible for the pediatric ER, and if you have to choose, the pediatric ER is a better place for a young person than the regular ER. And I found it surreal that, within 8 hours of having that conversation with him, I found myself in the front seat of an ambulance while they unloaded my 19 year old in the ambulance bay next to the door labeled Pediatric ER at Christ Hospital.

Never, in no imagination of my day could I have foreseen that I would be confirming that information from him within 8 hours of recording that episode. But there we were. And to repeat, he’s fine. My son’s fine. And I have his permission to write about and talk about this. He’s ok.

Let me make the rest of this very long story short. We were there for 24 more hours. We arrived around 7:30 pm Monday. They ran tests and started the admission process at 11 pm. He was finally discharged from the ER at 08:00 pm on Tuesday night, they had not yet found him a bed in 24 hours

When you’re in the ER, you gain perspective. Obviously, other people were having a much worse time of life than we were. My son’s ok.

Simple things. My son was in the ER but he had a room with doors. A lot of people didn’t. He didn’t have a bathroom or a shower, and I didn’t sleep at all because the room is not set up with a chair for a non-patient to sleep in. I never pulled an all-nighter in college, that didn’t happen until I was a parent!

We had family and friends texting and checking in on us, with offers of support and assistance if we needed anything. I am so grateful. And I’m grateful for Greg, my husband, so that we could tag team and I could go home for a few hours of sleep when he came back first thing Tuesday morning because we didn’t want to miss any of the doctors in consultation, etc.

But as Chris mentioned, once the dust settles, right, after all this happens, then what? When you look around your house and you realize that all of the routines that you normally have that support your life were completely abandoned, for a few days. Where do you start? Where?

I’ve talked about emergencies recently. I had a recent surgery as well. Five weeks ago I had surgery on my nose. It was planned. It was February 13, but I had known about it since the end of November. It wasn’t news. It ended up being more complex, more invasive, and I had a lot more downtime and a lot more healing that I needed to do. That was news, but the schedule was already cleared, I had no expectations of myself already. It wasn’t an emergency, it was a hassle. I won’t say it was fun. I’m still not done healing. I still have swelling and follow up appointments. It’s not don, but for the most part, I’m good to go.

But trips to the ER, for your daughter and her appendix, for my son in the ER for 24 hours and a lot of diagnostics to determine what’s going on and what to follow up on. Those are emergencies. They both have had good outcomes so far. I know it could be worse. Oh, my God, do I know it could be worse.

Once the emergency has passed, now what? What do we do to get back on track?

I came home at 830 Tuesday morning after tagging my husband out at the hospital, having not slept for 27 hours. I set up my phone and apple watch to charge, took a shower, brushed my teeth, had a really big glass of water and slept for 2 hours. Then I got up and I made sure things were taken care of, sent a few emails, took a shower, got dressed, grabbed a protein shake for the road and headed back up to the hospital.

On Tuesday night, when we were finally discharged, we asked the question again.

First things first: We’re headed home, do we need to eat? We can pick up something on the way.
All right, I’m going to drop you guys off, and go to the pharmacy for my son’s prescriptions.

Anything we need grocery wise? No? Okay. We just had people over, so we have a full fridge of food.

Everybody was comfortable and happy.

Next, Laundry. Unpack the bag from the hospital Yes, let’s start a load of laundry.

Next, let’s make sure maintenance has been occurring. Load the dishwasher, bring in the mail, make sure that there’s no packages out front.

None of this new. I think that was the point that I made when I talked to with Chris on his podcast. We don’t do new stuff. We take a minute and remember what our routines are. And routines are there to help us make sure that our needs are being consistently met. That’s what routines do for us. And so first things first, we’re to check in on the needs. Needs are food, clothing, shelter, safety, warmth. Right? Basic bottom level of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs?

Check in on those, make sure that all of those are functioning. Food, clothing, shelter, safety, warmth. Once we take care of those needs, then we can move up the list.

Now, when we got home from the hospital, finally, it was after 08:00 on Tuesday night after very little sleep. At that point, another need, very rapidly was becoming sleep. I could have tried to do more, but it wouldn’t have worked. Sleep is also a need, and that was the answer. Meeting needs consistently so that everybody can continue to function in survival. I’d love to get into optimal thriving mode. But first things first is survival. Food, clothing, shelter, safety, warmth, right? I mean, that’s where we got to start.

So, when in doubt, that’s where we spend our first hours of attention, is making sure that those needs are met for the moment. In the moment. Then, how to continue to meet those needs for the next couple of hours and then days. We start with needs, we start small, we start with what is right in front of us. We don’t need to do the big stuff right now.

So to recap: First things first. Having routines, very helpful routines, helped me to grab what I needed to grab, throw it all in my backpack (which is my purse) that is always sitting in the same place and run out the door with the ambulance people. Anybody I need to contact was already programmed in my phone. All of my apps are up to date. Everything is up to date. My wallet has our insurance card and has all of John’s information, all of my son’s information.

There are things that maintenance, that routines absolutely provided. My son is otherwise in good health. I’m in good health. Maintaining good health eliminates helped rule out some potential problems because he’s in otherwise good health.

When emergencies happen, that’s it. That is where you need to be. Everything else needed to fall away. With my son is the only place I need to be. The rest of life will all be waiting for me when I get back, for better or for worse.

But that’s the answer. So we create routines because in the heat of it, in the heart of it, in crazy times, we need to have those structures in place to keep things going. So we have habits around needs, so those needs continue to be consistently met. And to give us the habits, the reminders of how to get back to some semblance of normal when our days haven’t necessarily looked normal.

Start with needs. Start with what is right in front of you. Don’t create something new, but get back to your routines. And that, my friends, is how to get back on track.