I had a conversation with one of my sons the other day about Routines and Habits.

And, for context, my sons are currently 20, 24 and 27. I was recently reviewing one of my first blog articles published in 2010 when they were 5, 10 and 12. A lot has changed since then, trust me! One is in college, and two are professionals out in the working world.

But I digress.

We were talking about routines and habits, and he mentioned that his habits and routines around his professional life are vastly different from his personal life. And hey, that is most of us. No judgement there. Truly, many people find this to be the case. I recall a client early on in my career who created and managed his company’s document retention policies and he hired me to help him with his out of control personal papers.

Sometimes, we are organized in some parts of our lives but not all parts of our lives!

Similarly, I have been reflecting on my routines around home maintenance and business practices, and how I am SO SPOT ON in those areas but… I never get around to working out. What is that about, right? I am highly capable, I know how to do this, and yet… well, you know.

When I journaled about where I stumble, I realized that some of the reasons my habits fail are:

• Neglecting my habits and routines isn’t outwardly visible. No one but me will know if I worked out or ate healthy or meditated today.
• And taking care of home and work and liturgy and clients impacts others and is visible, so that keeps me on track.
• No one is paying me to maintain my personal routines and habits, unlike the business, meaning it is not unprofessional if I neglect them.
• Neglecting my personal habits doesn’t negatively impact others, at least not directly.
• And, getting back on track with these neglected habits and routines also doesn’t have quick results, and it turns out, seeing results for my efforts keeps me motivated. (Of course.)

And, I can use this knowledge to devise strategies for making my habits stick, like exercise and healthier eating. And I use myself as an example because I don’t have to ask permission. But enough about me.

In last week’s article and podcast, I said it would be easy to say that “Change is Hard!”. And that unfortunately, change in the, let’s say, negative direction, is deceptively easy! That no, change isn’t hard, but sometimes making positive change is!

And, last week, I challenged you and myself to return to normal, to look at what has worked before and get back to it, instead of trying to re-invent the wheel or make huge sweeping changes.

But how? This week is about the how! How to establish or re-establish good habits and routines, and how to help them stick!

Recognize where and how we ARE organized, and determine if we can use the skills from one area in other areas.

For example, I wrote in October about Recipes and how I have always used them for managing my bookkeeping and backing processes, but only more recently applied the same strategy to planning and writing my content or setting up my choir’s liturgy planning.

I mentioned the long ago client with his paper management challenges. The first thing we talked about was how to use what he knows about document retention policies professionally for his own personal papers, like categories, naming conventions, expiration dates, scheduled maintenance, etc.

If you are a teacher and you’re amazing at creating and sticking with lesson plans, does that translate to planning and implementation in your personal life? And can it?

Note your “Why”.

I find this is especially helpful for habits or routines that won’t yield immediate results. If your habit or routine isn’t fun or instantaneous or easy, well, you might struggle to stay motivated. Keeping a reminder of your “Why” helps us to stay motivated. And since a habit takes at least 3 weeks to establish, we need to keep up the motivation until a habit becomes routine.

And we will talk about learning styles in a minute, so note your “Why” in a way that works for you. Perhaps it’s a few words or an image on your phone’s lock screen. Perhaps it’s a song you listen to every morning in the shower. Perhaps its a short and simple mantra you repeat to yourself while doing some square breathing through out your day. I just sent an affirming text to a friend, for doing the hard things and was reminded to put on my bracelet that says the same (www.Mantraband.com).

Take decision-making out of the action plan.

Decision making is not the same as action.

Decision making is one of our biggest time wasters. And, if decisions are still to be made when it comes to acting on our habits and routines, the decision can always be “No, not today”. So, what can we do to remove decision making from the action plan?

For example, I have 4 wake up times set as alarms in my phone. (Don’t judge, there’s a plan here!) I only use one a day, but I have them preset. 5, 5:31, 6, and 6:33 am. My wise husband suggested I just set one and adjust it every day. However, I find that the already-made decisions, with those times as suggestions for every day, breaks down the decision to which one? instead of what time? I don’t have to re-do the math, depending on how early I need to leave the house or what time my first zoom meeting is? Instead, I look at the 4 options and pick a pre-set.

I’ll use a work-out as example again, set up the clothes and any special equipment you’ll need the night before, know which activity you will partake in the next day (outdoor walk, bike, elliptical, etc.). Decide ahead of time, and be ready to just act.

Stack Your Habits

Author James Clear uses a term called “Habit Stacking”. “Habit stacking is a method to create new habits by linking them to existing ones.” (From https://jamesclear.com/habit-stacking) I heard it from James Clear first, perhaps the credit goes to someone else, I will apologize now if I have given credit incorrectly.

We all have many habits that are very well established. A different son of mine calls it his Default. I wake up at close to the same time every morning, often before an alarm. I make coffee EVERY DAY. I shower EVERY DAY. I check my phone and email EVERY DAY, multiple times mostly. I often get hungry at the same times each day so I am in the kitchen at consistent times.

What do you do EVERY DAY, and sometimes many times a day? Without thinking about it or planning it? Identify those EVERY DAY or EVERY WEEK items in your routines, and attach new habits or routines to those already ingrained habits and routines. In my presentations, I offer the example of my morning supplements. When we remodeled our kitchen in 2017, I made sure that the cabinet where I keep my supplements is also where we keep the coffee. Because while I was not always consistent with my supplements, I’m very consistent with my morning coffee. And as I stand and wait for my first cup to brew, I can take my supplements. Stacking that new habit to the well-established habit made the new habit stick.

Or, what if, every time I walk through the kitchen or stop to make a meal or snack, I drink a glass of water? That would go a long way towards keeping me hydrated (another habit I want to re-establish).

Another example, I have a deeply ingrained habit of sitting down at my laptop to check my email in the morning. I have been working in square breathing and tapping sessions into my day, plus I have these great mindfulness cards that I received last year as a gift and want to start using. At first, I wanted dedicated meditation space to do these things and then… they never happened. So instead, I am working with the deeply ingrained morning habit and attaching a few zen moments to the existing habit and location. I’ll let you know how it works!

Gamify Anything You Can

Per Google, “Gamify means ‘to apply typical elements of game playing (e.g. point scoring, competition with others, rules of play) to (an activity), typically as a … technique to encourage engagement…'”.

A strategy to help our habits stick is to make the habit fun, competitive, novel, reward centered, and / or social or community based. There is nothing wrong with fun and games! Let’s use them to help our habit stick! Track your metrics, create rewards for yourself, create competition with friends, set your habit to music, phone a friend – the options are endless!

I often share the example of a long-time client and friend, a retired educator, who used a star chart just like a student might, to track her new habits and keep herself motivated to keep up the good work. A star for each day a certain task is completed, and a full week of stars on the chart earns a prize for the weekend (Special outing with a friend, fresh flowers for her home, perhaps a special snack or prize?). This tried and true motivator works for kids AND adults!

A part of gamifying your new habits and routines could also be to set micro-goals, short-term and easy to achieve goals, to keep the bursts of success flowing which keeps us motivated.

Use reminders that play to your strengths.

If you are visual learner, leave yourself lists, post-its, highlighters or REALLY BIG CLOCKS, or have your technology send you text messages. A reminder pops up on my Apple Watch if I haven’t stood up and walked around in the last 50 minutes. Yes, that reminder helps me.

Are you an auditory learner? I am. I learn well by hearing things. Use alarms on your phone, set timers, create a favorite playlist to help you rock your new habits and routines.

Do you learn by doing / touching / moving things around (kinesthetic)? For you (or your family member), the physical act of writing and then checking off habits and steps to your routines may be useful, or using chore cards or magnets or other things that you can move around may help.

Some of us learn by saying things out loud, too. If this describes you or a family member, try describing your habits to others, or creating a mantra or single sentence to repeat to yourself to help you focus on your good habits.

Good Habits may take time and energy to create, but having them and sticking with them will serve you well for years to come.

You know more than you think. You are highly capable in so many ways. If you are looking to create new habits and routines to support a better day, whatever that looks like for you, consider these strategies for helping your new habits stick!