“How Do You Get Out The Door On Time?”

A client recently asked: “How Do You Get Out The Door On Time?”

I love this question for its universality – we all may struggle with this sometimes, whether getting the kids to school in the morning, getting out the door to go to the office or catch the train, or perhaps, like me, heading out to a client’s home or business.  So look at each suggestion, and determine how you can implement positive change!

I asked some fellow working professionals / parents for their best suggestions  – thanks to all who responded!  And here are the Top 5 Suggestions:

  1. “Prep as much as you can the night before” (this applies to us all, not just parents).  This was by far the most popular suggestion among the people I asked.  Spend time every evening getting ready for the next day.  Pack your lunch(es), lay out outfits, collect gear (coats, backpack, shoes, papers) from around the house and place it all by the door.   Look at the schedule for other activities coming up, and prepare your gym bag, band instrument, sports uniform, etc., too.
  1.  “Get up earlier than everyone else”. Be sure to get yourself up and moving in the morning before you are expected to get any one else up and moving.  Even 30 minutes gives you a chance to shower, start your coffee and a load of clothes, and spend a few moments strategizing your day.
  1. Establish What Time is “On Time”:   I really wish that some kind and experienced parent had told me 15 years ago how the school day really begins.   I know now, so learn from my experience.  “The school doors open at 8:00 am, and the Preschool day begins at 8:10” is code for  – “be there, waiting with your student, at 8 am, and your child needs to be in his seat and ready to learn at  8:10.”  No kid wants to be the late kid.  No parents wants to be the late parent.  Save yourselves some stress, and aim for Early.  A little league coach laid it out for us many years ago.  Early is On Time.  On Time is Late.

Here are some other questions to ask yourself, when determining What Time is On Time? Where are you going?  How will you get there?  How long will Plan B take if you have to use it?  What is the earliest you can arrive?  How long does it take for you / your child to get from the back door to buckled in the car and leaving the driveway (could be 5 minutes some days!)? How long does it take to get from the parking lot to the door?

  1. “Get off Facebook.” …and email, and every other screen until you and your children are ready to leave. Yes. every screen, for your family and FOR YOU.  ( I know, its scary, but it’s worth it).  When you’ve gotten better at getting out the Door on Time, perhaps you can add screen time back into your morning schedule.   (What makes this suggestion ironic is that I asked the question via Facebook on a school morning!)
  1. “A morning soundtrack”.  At a recent meeting, a woman mentioned her morning affirmations.  In passing, as in “of course, because everyone does these already”.  Which made me inwardly cringe because, well, no I don’t have morning affirmations.  And the thoughts start to spin – maybe I should have them, how am I going to fit one more thing in my morning, blah, blah, blah.  And then, as I usually do when I start to get stressed, I turned to a short prayer, a few deep breaths and then music.  And the lightbulb went off in my head!  A-Ha!!  Prayer, deep breathing and music ARE my affirmations.  I was loading up my Morning Mix playlist just this morning, adding the songs that make me dance and sing along (loudly).  What music would get you moving in the morning?

So, try one of these suggestions this week, and see what helps you Get Out The Door On Time!

Productivity Challenge: Time Management!

This week’s Productivity Challenge is Time Management!
My associate writes:
“As a small business owner, we wear so many hats and have to stay on top of so many tasks.  
  • There are daily tasks, weekly tasks, monthly tasks; 
  • There are “big picture” issues to address – new product lines, new marketing ideas, personnel issues, all of the “where is our company headed?” type-stuff ; 
  • There are “small task” issues – placing orders with vendors, scheduling service calls, handling customer service issues, and even just answering the phone; and then of course
  • There are the “fires” that occasionally pop up that require me to drop everything and handle immediately. There is only so much time, and we work with a skeleton crew – so how can I better organize to stay on top of it all?”
As a fellow business owner, I can totally relate to all of these!  So, let’s tackle them one by one!
Managing the “daily tasks, weekly tasks, monthly tasks”.  With these recurring tasks:
  • Keep a Master To-Do List – a running list of everything that needs to get done.  I maintain my To-Do list in Evernote (a cloud storage notebook), so that I can access it from all of my devices.  I can even share my To-Do list (and other Evernote documents) with others, if I have info to share with staff or co-workers.  I have clients who use MS Outlook for the same purpose.   When I finish a recurring task for today on my Evernote list, I cut it and pasted it to the next day, week or month or whenever it is set to recur (For example, daily habits, weekly errands, and monthly billing and client care).
  • Actually block out time on your daily, weekly and monthly schedule for these tasks.  Make an appointment on your calendar, so other things don’t squeeze out these important tasks!  A client mentioned that her bill-paying was slipping and she was starting to incur late fees because she hadn’t blocked the time to manage her daily and weekly bookkeeping.
  • Attach paper / ideas / tasks to your time blocks, too.  For example, my Friday afternoons are blocked for bookkeeping tasks.  As bills come in, or tasks come up that are related to bookkeeping, I add them to Friday’s to-do list and tuck any paper bills in my Friday folder.

There are “big picture” issues to address – new product lines, new marketing ideas, personnel issues, all of the “where is our company headed?” type-stuff .

  • Big picture Issues:  We need to block time to make these big-picture discussions happen, too. They may not need to happen every day, but they are still important.  Have weekly check-ins with everyone involved, in person / Face time or via email, to touch base.  And once in a while (monthly, quarterly, etc.) Think BIG THOUGHTS!!! Set time aside, invite all the players / decision makers, go off-campus, set a time limit, and dive in!

There are “small task” issues – placing orders with vendors, scheduling service calls, handling customer service issues, and even just answering the phone.

  • There are no small tasks.  These “small tasks” are Our Work, whether they happen daily, weekly or monthly.  Communicating with our vendors and our customers – This Is Our Work! Even when these tasks seem small, they are really the most important tasks we can complete.
  • However…. we can still manage the flow of our work, to get more of Our Work done!
    • Phone calls can go to voicemail, or we can keep our calls polite but brief.
    • Emails rarely require an instantaneous response.
    • Do Not Reinvent the Wheel!  Figure out the best way to do something, and do it that way every time.  Those are your Standard Operating Procedures, and they create a uniformly excellent experience.  Start by creating standard email responses to frequently asked questions, and build from there.

And then of course there are the “fires” that occasionally pop up that require me to drop everything and handle that immediately.

  • Communication:  I received an email last week from my graphic designer: “I should be done putting out fires by XXX o’clock, I’ll call you then”.    Great way to handle it!
  • Flexibility is critical to time management success.  Having a Master To Do list means if we can’t get to something today, we can move it to the top of tomorrow’s To Do list.  Using Time Blocks are great, but we can block time later in the week just as easily as this afternoon.
  • Let me let you in an insider tip:  If you handle recurring tasks when they recur, manage the Big Picture and Small Tasks regularly – you will:  A. Have fewer fires to put out; and B. Be more prepared and able to quickly manage and put out the fires that to arise.

So, look at your task list today and this week, and consider how to manage your time and tasks to get your important work done!

Productivity Series: What to Do With All the Receipts?

Last week, I started this Productivity Series with solutions for the desk dumping ground! A related question was “What to Do With Receipts? specifically receipts for filing business taxes?” I understand the connection  – I’ve seen dozens of desk cluttered with receipts!
Think about this.  Generally, we need to keep receipts for three reasons:
1. for the information contained on the receipt;
2. as a reminder of a next action to take; and
3. as a physical record of an action, in case you need to prove how money was spent.
Next, think about basic accounting. Money spent moves out of “Cash” and into a different category.  For example, buying a printer at Office Max / Depot moves money from my checking account into my office supplies / assets.
Reason #1: Manage the information contained on the receipt.  How much, to whom, for what?  And make it meaningful.
For example, my business recently spent $$ on:
  • a new printer and toner, a lamp and pens
  • advertising in the form of a charitable donation  / sponsorship
  • gas
  • day-care expenses
  • lunch at Panera
  • annual dues for my professional organization
  • UPS for shipping, on behalf of a client
Each expense I mentioned above would be listed under different Expense categories in my Quicken software.  Office supplies, advertising, Dues and Subscriptions, Meals and Entertainment, Automotive, etc.  These categories are pre-set in Quickbooks and Quicken, and you can also create new ones specific to your business. (I’m not recommending one type of software over another, just reporting on what I know).
Since my friend’s question was about Managing Receipts for Tax Time, I strongly recommend discussing category questions with your Accountant as you set up your system, to make tax time easier. 
Manage your bookkeeping regularly (and if you need help with this, I can suggest a few great people!).  My business books are simple.  I track my expenses and sales daily on a spreadsheet, entering it all into Quicken once a month with my bank statement reconciliation.  My next step is to streamline that process, and enter the daily info directly into Quicken.   Some businesses will need to do this daily, some can stretch to weekly or monthly.   Regardless of how often, We HAVE TO DO IT!
Once the categories are created, and your information for the year is entered, preparing for tax time is a matter of running your reports, and handing the reports and receipts over to your accountant
Reason # 2: Take The Action Required:
For example, in my list above, the actions are to input the information into Quicken, and then with the UPS expense, I need to collect payment from my client, for services rendered and also for the UPS expense.  When I manage my bookkeeping, I need to make sure the two items are entered separately – one for sales, and one for reimbursement.
Manage your bookkeeping, send the invoice, submit the expense report, etc.    JUST ACT!!!
After you record the information, and take the actions required, storing the physical records is easy.
 
Reason #3: Keep your receipts in a monthly folder.   This makes it easier to reconcile your monthly bank statement, and in the rare instance that you actually need to produce the receipt as proof of an expense, monthly files will make your items easy enough to find, without wasting too much time on filing.  Don’t bother with specific vendor files, chronological files should be detailed enough, since you’ve already recorded the information.
Wrap up your receipts with your tax returns, and store them for 4-7 years.  Random receipts for printer toner from 3 years ago should not be floating around your office!!
Imagine how clean your desk will be, with all the Receipts managed and easily filed away!`

Productivity Challenge: My Desk is a Dumping Ground!

Last week, I asked professionals to share their Organizing Challenges.  The first response was:

“My desk!   Working from home, I’m so busy keeping the rest of the house organized, everything gets dumped on my desk! (thanks MG!)”

Has this happened to you?  You’re ready to get down to business, but your motivation and energy drain away as you face a desk cluttered with

  • Mail
  • School papers
  • Shoes / socks / clothing / dry cleaning
  • Legos (maybe that’s just me)
  • Receipts
  • Other people’s keys, wallet, phone
  • Office supplies or craft supplies
  • the list could go on and on …
Whether you work from home or in a more traditional office setting, trying to work at a cluttered desk can be a struggle.  Sometimes other people drop the stuff, and sometimes we ourselves do the cluttering.  Sound familiar?! Here’s what to do!
  1. When you sit down to work, spend the first 10 minutes of activity putting the dumped stuff AWAY, and the last 10 minutes putting your own stuff AWAY.  Most of us work better in uncluttered space, so that is a great place to start!   If you can do this every day, the piles will be progressively smaller, and you won’t need 10 minutes anymore!  Dedicate that small block of time at the start and the finish – seriously, set a timer if that helps!
  2. Make sure important things have a home.  For example, everyone needs a special place to put their cell phone, keys and wallet.  Establish a home for these important items NOT on your desk top.  Near it, perhaps, but not on it!
  3. Carve out “My Space” and “Public Space”, if you can.  For example, I recently rearranged my work space, and added shelves. I’ve moved the items that other people need to the shelves next to my work space instead of on the shelf over my work space.  In theory, this will cut down on interruptions and also encourage others to put things away!
  4. Establish containers for regular offenders, to direct stuff to other places:  An In-box for papers coming in; trash / recycling / shredding bins close at hand for papers going out; an errand bag for mail to mail or library books to return, items to drop off to other people, items to be returned to the store, etc.
  5. Act on your action items: In a client’s home office last week, most of the desk top was occupied by items that required action or an errand.  For goodness sake, ACT on your action items!  Invest an hour or two to take the actions or run the errands that will clear away those piles, then revel in the uncluttered space.
  6. Do you drop the stuff, or do other people?  If other people are the problem, set the example: Respect your own boundaries!  Clean off your desk and your own clutter, so the offending items are very noticeable when someone else drops them on your work space!

Keep you work space as sacred space!  Give it the respect it deserves, and expect others to do the same!

Back To School: Setting Up “After School” For Success

Back To School is a great time to review and update our time management routines, and the time window between 3 pm and dinnertime is a busy one!  Make positive changes this week, and  create a routine that works for everyone.  Here’s how:
Build in a little decompression time when you (or your student) arrive:
There are often rituals attached to this, like changing out of work or school clothes, and/or having a snack and a quick break upon coming home to help make the transition from work or school back to home.  A little down time gives our brains and bodies time to rest and then jump back into action!
Assess your afternoon and evening plans:  
Check the calendar for events or games, and the school Planners for work or homework assignments.  It is important to do this early, in case someone forgot something at school or the office – there may still be time to retrieve missing books or resources!
Assess tomorrow, too:  
Take just a few moments to look ahead to tomorrow’s schedule, too, and identify any potential snags or changes.  In addition, planning ahead can help avoid a 10 pm washing of the gym uniform or shopping for surprise supplies or snacks (is this just me?)!
Make Space for Homework:
Dining room table? Kitchen counter? A desk in each bedroom?  Establish a regular place for your students to complete their homework.  Keep in mind, too, that these days homework involves technology.  So in addition to a work space, comfortable chair and good lighting, make sure there is computer access, too!
Since tech is so important, as your student comes home with website info, log into and bookmark the various resource websites, create your accounts and then note usernames and passwords on a page or spreadsheet per student.
Create a Homework caddy:
We have a homework caddy basket on the kitchen desk that holds homework supplies.  Create your own, including but not limited to: crayons, markers and colored pencils; pens, pencils and highlighters; scissors, glue and tape; calculator, ruler and index cards (google “Homework Caddy” if you want more ideas).
Set Up Your Landing and Launch Pad:
What door does everyone use? Set up your Landing and Launch Pad at the favorite door. Hooks for outerwear and accessories, and some for backpacks and sports bags, too.  I have written many blogs about this topic, check them out here!
The key to Landing and Launch Success isn’t the space, necessarily, but the HABITS created around our comings and goings.   The most fabulous cubbies or benches or hooks or organizational tools in the world are a waste of time and money if we don’t create habits to use them.
EVERYONE can create a habit to:
  • Hang up coats and bags when they come in the door
  • Keep shoes by the door
  • Put keys and wallets and other important items in the same place every day
  • Take out and deliver-to-parents papers that require parental action every day
  • Place completed homework and books back in the back-packs when work is completed, and backpacks at the Landing and Launch Pad for easy departures in the morning
  • Review tomorrow’s schedule today and line up stuff accordingly (like band instruments, soccer uniforms) at the Launch Pad tonight

Dedicate some time and thought to your after school / home from work routine this week, and make your days work better for you and your family!  You CAN do this!  Have a great week.

Back To School: Mornings!  Keep It Simple, Sweetie!

Life’s funny some days.  I planned to write my “keep your morning as simple as possible” article this morning.Last night, one son had a stomach bug – poor guy!  And sick son and older brother share a room, so older brother was up, too, and helped take care of sick brother, which was just so sweet.  Of course, I was up, too.  Now I am tired, the teens are still sleeping, the laundry is going and I am looking forward to a trip to the doctor and a day of cleaning from top to bottom (in response to the stomach bug of course).

However, my Not-At-All-Routine morning today highlights the point I want to make with my this week’s article, and that is to “Keep Your Mornings as Simple As Possible!”

Here’s how:

First Things First, Focus on Survival.

Food, clothing, shelter, safety.  Make sure all of these are taking care of, before moving on to anything else.  Feed your self and your people.  Get clean, get clothed and get ready for school. Our days are starting even earlier this school year, so Focus is essential.  I am still waiting to see how the middle school schedule pans out, but I believe my youngest will be starting by 7:30 am at least 2 days a week.  So, to help me focus, my goal is to avoid computer / facebook / email before everyone’s out of the house.  5:30 – 7:30 am will be about getting everyone up, off to school or work, and home maintenance.   After that, I can look at other things.

Limit Options.   Decision making slows us down.

My teenagers and I had a conversation over the weekend that went something like this:

Me: “You have to eat breakfast before school this year.  I know you don’t always manage a healthy lunch, so you’ve got to ace breakfast.  What will you eat every day?”

Them:  to paraphrase….”toaster waffles,  we like toaster waffles.  And costco pre-cooked bacon. We like that, too.”

Me: “So, if I keep toaster waffles and bacon on hand, you will eat breakfast in the morning?”

Them: “Yes.”

Cool.  We have a deal.

I will not try to fill every possibility as I may have in the past – 5 kinds of cereal, a couple of flavors of granola bars, blah, blah, blah, and they still didn’t eat.  Nope. Waffles and bacon.  Done.

Limiting clothing options makes decision making easier, too.  If you have indecisive or spontaneous little people, together (or not!) choose 7 outfits at the beginning of the week.  Put the whole ensemble on a hanger or rolled up on the dresser.  And pull from just those options for school days. Too many options kill decision making.

For example, a loved one mentioned how my favorite 2.5 year-old likes to pick out her own clothes these days.  I remember that when my sons were young!  And I cleared the drawers of everything I didn’t want them to wear, leaving them fewer but higher quality choices!

What does your Face look like?

There was a moment a few weeks ago, mid-tirade, when my brain stopped and said “I wonder what my face looks like right now?”  Since I was raving at my kids, I’m sure I was red, scowling, possibly petulant… certainly not the person I want to be, or who I want my kids to see when they look at me.

When you are running around in the morning, what does your face look like?  Take time for hugs and tickles, a few deep breaths, maybe some great music and kitchen dancing, you name it.   Happy is contagious.

Leave Early.

Early is on time, and on time is late.  We really just never know what will happen on the way to our destination, so it’s always best to leave a little extra time.

Parents, consider that when your child leaves you, they still have 5-10 minutes of getting into school / hanging up coats / unloading backpacks, etc. to contend with, before they’re ready to learn.  Your child and teachers want you to err on the Early side of on-time, so everyone feels more in charge and less frazzled.

Trust me, Keep It Simple, Sweetie!

Back To School: First Things First – Clothes!

These next few weeks are about action and Taking Care of Business for a lot of parents, myself included.  So I am keeping these next few posts simple.

Do-able.

Positive.

Pared down and drama-free.

Just like back-to-school time should be!

So let’s do this!

First things first, friends. Clothes.  Reviewing the current, and shopping for the new.

  1. Before tackling the clothes / closet review, do all the laundry and put it all away. Yes.  All of it.  Away.  And if you say – “All of it?  THERE’S TOO MUCH!”, then that’s an indicator that this project can reap big benefits for you!  And if you say “AWAY?  We don’t have an AWAY for all the clothes!” then that, too, indicates that this project is extremely overdue.
  2. Next, clear a couple hours on the schedule, for you and your children (each child individually).  Make sure you’re both rested and fed.  Don’t start this at 10 pm, or right before lunch.  Turn on some fun music, grab a pad of paper to write down items to purchase, and get at it.
  3. Make the bed, and then cover it with a clean white sheet – it can be great work space for sorting.
  4. Pick a starting spot, and begin.  DO NOT TAKE OUT EVERYTHING AT ONCE!  Tackle a dresser drawer or a single closet shelf at a time.   Better yet, address a single category of clothes at a time.  All the shorts or pants or skirts or shirts, etc.  Do not try to tackle everything at once!
  5. As you work through the clothes, purge items that are: too big, too small, old or beyond repair, off-season, etc.  Label and store the off-season and too-big items, and donate, sell or hand down the too-small or too-old items.
  6. Do an initial quick review, and purge everything that YOU KNOW fits into the above descriptions  (items that are too small, too stained, too icky, etc.).
  7. Now, have your kids try everything else on.  Yes, everything.  Use the criteria listed above when you review the clothes.
  8. I have teenagers, so I also need an “I’ll never actually wear this” pile.  I find this frustrating, but since my sons aren’t overly picky or materialistic, I respect their choices.  I have also declared that I will never buy clothes for my sons without them with me again.  I don’t want to waste the time or money of buying clothes they won’t wear.
  9. Make a list of items that your kids need for the school year and new season.  (If you need a suggested list, http://peaceofmindpo.com/2010/08/05/that-age-old-ritual-back-to-school-clothes-shopping/ ).  I went through my own closet, too, and got rid of an old and tattered pair of pants and dressy skirt, among other things.  I won’t wear them again, but I will need to replace them so I added those items to my personal shopping list.
  10. Put away the clothes you are keeping (for more ideas, check my past blog articles), and deliver the purged items to their destination.  And then go do something fun!

You CAN do this!  And enlisting your child in the process teaches them organizational skills they can use for life.

Big Changes, Small Blog Article!

Hello!  I am posting this article on my streamlined blog page, which is now integrated into my snazzy newly re-designed website (woo hoo!)!  I am very excited about these big changes that will enable me to help even more great people like yourself!

This evening, as my friend and amazing web-design / social media guru Claire DiCola with Amplify 7 was guiding me through all the changes, big and small, I mentioned that I still needed to write my blog article for this week and post my newsletter tomorrow morning.  She immediately said “Big Changes, Small Blog Article!”.  So thanks, Claire, for your amazing help and ideas, and the title to this week’s article!

Sooo…. with big changes come great opportunities!  Please

  • Check out my new website, www.PeaceofMindPO.com (and if my new page doesn’t come up, clear your browsing history);
  • Email or message me if you have suggestions for additional content or ideas;
  • Click any of the sign-up links, and connect with me via Facebook, Linked In, Twitter, through my blog or newsletter;
  • Share my website with anyone who could benefit from a more organized life (which is Everyone!);
  • Share a testimonial, and I will post it to my website;
  • Keep an eye on your in-box for my August Back-to-School Series of Articles, coming to a website and blog and newsletter near you;
  • As always, share your organizational questions with me, and you may see the answer in an upcoming blog; and finally…..
  • Be patient with me, as I embrace these new platforms!

Talk to you next Tuesday!!

Experimenting with a Spending Diet – Who’s With Me?

I’m tired of spending money.

We’re enjoying Summer, and just got home from a lovely long weekend away.  But travel brings expenses: gas, car snacks, hotel room, restaurant, a few souvenirs. Money just flies out of my wallet – poof!

I read an article about a mom who instituted a Spending Fast.  The deal was, the family bought nothing for a prescribed amount of time, to use up their inventory and save money.  They paid regular monthly bills like utilities, cable and mortgage, but nothing else.

It’s certainly time to slow down our spending.  Yet, we can’t stop spending altogether.  We have high school textbooks to order, and a few other small but necessary expenses.  And with August (the month I refer to as the “Month of Writing Checks”) comes back-to-school expenses like registration, supplies and clothes.

So, I am trying a Spending Diet.

And why do we diet? With food, we decrease overall consumption.  We want to feel healthier. lighter and better overall; and we want to regain control over an area of our lives where we feel a little out of control. So, we will go on a Spending Diet for the next few weeks, for the same reasons!

It may seem counter-intuitive, but I started my spending diet by handing out money.  I paid allowances, and set aside $40 that my business owes a friend.  I can now see more clearly what I need for the next few weeks.

A glance at our checkbook indicates that most of our non-monthly bill expenses are on food, either groceries or at restaurants.  Sooooo…..

  • I planned our menu for the next two weeks incorporating food we already have. Our grocery expenses will be for perishables only, like produce and milk, and I’ll pay for these groceries with already purchased gift cards.
  • I skipped my bi-weekly Target trip for toiletries and household items, and will get creative with what we have in the linen closet (saving approx $100).
  • I also moved my Coscto trip to two weeks from now, skipping this week (saving approx $200).
  • We got take-out for dinner (we do this occasionally on the weekend), but we chose the restaurant based on gift certificates and coupons we had on hand. Dinner plus a few days of leftovers cost less than $6.
  • We celebrated National Ice Cream Month on Sunday, on the last leg of our vacation, but we used gift cards to pay for our treats. Total out of pocket was $7.
  • I collected and reviewed all the other gift cards we have, to determine what we can use over the next few weeks (side note, we purchase gift cards through a tuition reimbursement program at our sons’ high school.)
  • And finally, I packed my lunch for work, and will continue to do so for the next two weeks. It is so easy to fall into the bad habit of grabbing fast food between clients, and I can spend $10 a day on such a habit.
  • There is nothing else that we NEED right now.  My husband and I visited my favorite little boutique in the resort town we went to over the weekend.  Everything there was lovely, but I did not touch a thing.  We have all we need, and most everything we want.  And just a guess, you probably do, too.
  • With more planning, we could cut spending even more, by cutting reducing our monthly bill expenses and eliminating eating out altogether, but we’ll see how we do with these changes to start.

So, how can you pare down your spending this week?

What Do We Do With Other People’s Stuff?

A class participant recently asked: “What do we do with items received from family members who have passed away?”She explained that she has received 2 or 3 households full of items over the years. She needs to downsize, but is still burdened with all these extra collections.

We are often blessed with items received from loved ones, and when that loved one passes, we are reluctant to purge the items.  I know this is a complicated, personal process, friends, and I’m sorry.  But we still have to proceed, and make decisions about these belongings.  Think about these statements:
  • Your loved one who is gone would not want to burden you;
  • Respect your loved one, and appreciate the love and the sentiment behind the item / gesture, even if you choose to let the item go;
  • When our family or friends are boxing things up after a funeral, grief and stress may keep them making good decisions;
  • Letting go of stuff does not mean that you are letting go of the person; and
  • You didn’t choose these items, and are under no real obligation to keep them (cold, I know, but true).

Here are some tips to make things go:

  1. Know what is enough, and what is too much.  One set of china is enough, any more may be too much.  Keep your favorite, and sell / donate / re-gift the rest.
  2. Be selective and choose a few small favorites, then do something with the favorites. Treat these as treasure – use them, frame them, bring them out of storage.
    • A client recently bought a display case for her uncle’s collection of antique silver tea balls, and they look beautiful. The display adds character and not clutter to her home, and allows her to appreciate her uncle.
  3. Consider your loved one, and donate their items to a charity in their honor.
  4. If a family member disapproves of your decisions to purge certain items, ask them to get involved in the process with you, soliciting suggestions for how to respectfully purge items while celebrating the person who has died.   001
    • Another friend shared “We received the coveted toothpick holder collection from Grandma [like mine from my Grandma, shown in picture!], and stored them for several years wondering what to do with them. I chose a few that spoke to me, and my daughter chose a couple that spoke to her. The balance I took to the next family party and explained that everyone needed to take one to remind them of Grandma – whether it was a special food; fishing; or a good memory. At the end of the party, the toothpick holders were going home with everyone who would cherish them & remember Grandma.”  Thanks S.K.!
  5. Practice your gentle and polite response.  For example, “We are preparing to move / downsize / have a child / send a child to college, etc.; and we know we won’t be able to keep everything we have.  We’ve carefully chosen to keep these few items, to celebrate so-and-so.”  Don’t apologize.
  6. If a loved one passes things on to you when you they are still around… that is a little tougher, I know.
    • A friend responded to last week’s question with a description of the engraved (with someone else’s message) crystal goblets she recently received.  Yikes!
    • Your loved one may actually expect to see the items again!  One idea is to keep one cabinet shelf of just those types of items, 1 or 2 of each, and, with the goblet example, serve just that person with one of the glasses.  If she is pleased, good job! and now you’re done.  If she doesn’t notice, good job – you’re done. Another idea is to keep the item boxed up, with an expiration date on it to purge after a year.

Finally, make decisions now from your own Stuff.  If you have want to pass something on to someone, consider passing it on now, so you can share the joy and the reason for the gift.  If you don’t want to pass it on just yet, write a note to the next generations about the item and why it is important, then tuck the note inside.

I hope these ideas help!  If you have any more suggestions, please share and I’ll pass them along.