Category: ADHD

The Basics: What MUST Be In Your Pocket?

When I started writing this article yesterday, I planned to write it from the going-off-to-college perspective. But, this morning, a 4 year old changed my plan.

Can we start with the basics? 5 things, maybe 6. BASIC. But so very important.

Let’s call them our Pocket Essentials. The items that you consider essential to leaving the house. Your Pocket Essentials are personal and change with age or stage in life. So, my Pocket Essentials for leaving the house – the bare minimum without which I cannot leave – car and house keys on one ring, phone, wallet and sunglasses. Truly, I can get pretty far with just these few things. But without them, I can’t even leave the garage.

From the 4 year old (a client’s daughter), she needed her dollar bill – HERS, not her sister’s, because HERS is smooth and her sister’s is crinkly – and a pink formal long glove. Just one. And very bright pink. And please, don’t question her choice. (She and her siblings were delightful.)

This summer, my son’s pocket essentials for work are his phone, house keys and electronic time card. If he leaves without any of those things, he has to come back for them. When he goes off to college in just a few weeks, he will need to establish A PLACE and JUST ONE PLACE for his college Pocket Essentials – phone, college ID and room key.

The point:

Identify your essentials, whether you are 4, 18 or 50 something.

Establish A PLACE for the essentials to live.

Then, cultivate the habit around making sure your essentials live in that ONE PLACE when you get home so they are ready again for you when you leave.

I have a theory when it comes to organizing and time management: How we manage transition times in our day can make or break our schedule and success.

Transition times are the many instances in our day when we switch from one task to another, one focus to another, one location to another, etc. They include: getting out of bed, leaving for and arriving at school or work, heading to lunch or getting back from lunch, leaving from school or work, arriving home, making dinner or going to bed.

If you live with at least one other human or pet, you also have to factor in their transition times. And when we look at how many instances in a day we are shifting gears, it’s easy to see how many instances there are also to stumble!

So, to Recap:

Establish what your Pocket Essentials are. A short list, not too much to keep track of, but Essential nonetheless.

Then, establish ONE PLACE. By the front or back door? We have a little basket mounted on the wall by the back door where my husband keeps his Pocket Essentials. Mine are all contained in my backpack, also near the exit. Perhaps on your dresser or the kitchen counter? Pick ONE PLACE. Let others in the house know where the place is. Put a nice dish or basket there just for the Pocket Essentials. maybe a charger for your phone, etc.

Finally, establish the habit of keeping your Pocket Essentials in your ONE PLACE while you’re home so it’s waiting for you when it comes time to leave.

My habit is to take off my shoes by the back door and then take everything out of my pockets onto my desk (right next to the back door.) Keys get clipped to my bag, sunglasses go in my bag, phone gets charged on the desk if necessary. Same goes for my family members, dropping their Pocket Essentials by the door or on their dresser. If any of us find those essentials elsewhere in the house, we return them to their ONE PLACE.

And if I happen to walk by my bag and the keys are not clipped to my bag, or my phone is not where I expected it to be, I had better go track it down! Before missing my Pocket Essentials messes up my next Transition time!!

Small Bag of Chargers ALL THE TIME!

In last week’s newsletter, I shared two of my favorite travel tips, my packing cubes and an always-packed toiletry kit.

I was reminded of another favorite travel tip as I packed to travel this past weekend. And I can’t believe I haven’t written about it before now!

I have a small plastic pouch that makes my life better. It lives in my daily go-bag and contains the chargers I might need to charge my stuff.  ALL THE TIME. Plus the cubes to go in the wall or car outlet that hold multiple cords.

For most items, I am pretty tough on the question of duplicates. But this is one instance – tech accessories – when duplicates are OK and even encouraged! It is frustrating and un-safe to be caught without charged tech items.

I travel a lot and even if I didn’t, I’m still on the go ALL THE TIME. This handy little pouch goes almost every where with me. It lives in my go-bag every day for work and gets tossed in my luggage when we travel.


What’s in the bag right now?


We have cords in the cars, too, that STAY IN THE CAR.

Remembering to pack the items is easy. And since I have duplicates, it is also not a crisis if I leave one behind or more likely, share one with a family member that forgot theirs.


The other habit is that I always keep an extra new cord in the tech drawer next to my desk.  Then, if I need to give a cord to my sons (or my mom, like I did a couple of weeks ago) or I need to replace an old cord (like I did over the weekend), I use the back-up one from the drawer and add a new cord to my weekly Office Max order.  So we’re always covered!

Give a little thought this week to what chargers and tech accessories would go into your charger bag to give you peace of mind on the go!

Clutter Hot Spot: Your Tech Accessories

The challenge with this hot spot is that there isn’t always just one spot.

Sometimes the tech pieces

are

all

over

the

place!

The original inspiration for the Clutter Hot Spot series was client interactions in January. And in one week, I had 3 clients who had tech accessories stirred up into every space we were organizing!

IF we ever hope to find them again, we need to assign JUST ONE HOME for our less-often used tech accessories.

In my office, our ONE tech accessory home is a desk drawer. Right next to me as I write this article. It’s not exciting or big or complicated. It holds tech items that we might need again. In preparation for writing this article, I looked in there earlier today. The boxes for my Apple watch and airpods are in there (new-ish). Extra lightning charging cables (we buy these a few at a time), charging cubes, earphone covers, users manuals, the extra cord that came with my new monitor in its labeled bag. Also, mesh bags for corralling tech accessories when we travel. A few items I came across are now obsolete, like my last two Fitbits and their very specialized chargers, and those are all now in the basket in the garage waiting for a E-Waste collection event.

Let’s review the important parts of the story above:

  • One and ONLY ONE home for tech accessories you might need again.
  • The habit of putting tech accessories in that ONE home when we get them, and putting them back in there after we use them!
  • Labeling the accessory and what it belongs with to eliminate future questions.
  • Everyone in the house knowing where the extra tech accessories live.
  • The habit around reviewing the technology at least once in a while, to determine what tech accessories we need to keep and which ones need to move along to E-Waste recycling.
  • Making sure your E-Waste actually gets recycled. Check your local recycling resources for E-Waste recycling near you. If you’re near me, check out my recycling page for resources. (https://peaceofmindpo.com/2019/06/26/organizing-resources-to-reduce-repurpose-and-recycle/)

Look around your home and establish that ONE SPOT for your extra tech accessories, and commit to moving your tech clutter there as you find it!

But, What If It Is Amazing?

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.” – Marianne Williamson

It is so easy to believe the bad stuff. And there is a lot of bad stuff sometimes, I know. Most of our brains, especially brains with ADHD, or anxiety or depression, trend negative.


I pride myself on having a positive inner narrative, of making sure I keep an eye on the good things inside and around me. I know I am a much happier person that way, much more productive, certainly more pleasant to be around, and with positivity and good energy to share. And I do.


Recently, I identified a place in my mind where Fear had snuck in. In one small area, I had let fear guide me, keeping me from moving ahead on a project. And when I identified fear in one place, I also realized that I had let the fear in one area leak quietly into other areas of my life as well.


Sneaky thing, fear.


Fear was keeping me stuck. I had fear of failing and of succeeding, at the same time. Go figure! Illogical, of course, but sometimes our thoughts are illogical!


I worked through some things over the last week, using tools I have from my coaching practice on my own challenges. The first step is awareness that there is a problem. I completed perspective work, I listened to my intuition, I checked in on my own needs and values. Yes, I coached me with my coaching tools!


And what came to me was, “Fear can be scary, but what if the other side of the fear is AMAZING??


What if this scary thing, when I get through it, results in something totally awesome? Fear wants us to believe that negative things can happen, and they can, but so can amazing things, in equal measure. The AMAZING results are actually more likely than the failure, in this instance.


So let’s ask…. (and we will stick with organizing, though you can swap that word out for anything else you want, too):


What are you afraid of?

  • Afraid of failing at organizing?
    • Every thing we try is a learning experience, there really isn’t failure there.
  • Afraid that organizing might be difficult?
    • Ok, but how much more difficult is it to struggle every day?
  • Afraid that organizing might be easy, and I’ll realize I should have done it years ago?
    • Ok, but why bother beating yourself up about the past? Show past-you some grace and enjoy today’s success.
  • Afraid that the path might not be easy or straightforward?
    • It won’t be, and that is ok, too.


Now that I am aware that Fear had me stuck, I am looking more to the AMAZING part.

Yes, I have work to do. I already had work to do, now I can do without being afraid, too.

Yes, things may get hard. But things were hard anyway, and now maybe they can also get easier!

Fear is scary, but join me on the other side of Fear for AMAZING!

Stress-less Gifting: Create a GIFT HOME

In last week’s newsletter, I promised to tackle common clutter Hot Spots, so let’s look at creating ONE PLACE for your gifts and cards to give.

Don’t you love it when you find the perfect gift for a loved one, even if it’s the wrong time of year? So we hold on to the gift, anticipating the joy of giving and receiving.

And, doesn’t it drive you CRAZY when you can’t find that great gift when the time comes to give it!?!?!

Establish A HOME for your gifts-to-give.  As you establish a GIFT HOME,

  • Plan ahead if the GIFT HOME needs to be hidden from curious eyes, with lidded opaque containers or a door that locks!
  • The GIFT HOME should expand to hold more when major holidays are coming.
    • For example, my GIFT HOME is a cabinet in my laundry room. The cabinet is near the door to the crawl space, so Christmas gifts can overflow to a few bins in there as necessary until I wrap them and give them out.
  • Make the GIFT HOME convenient so you will actually stick with putting items there and then retrieving them again. A client had a GIFT HOME in their attic, which was hidden but was so inconvenient that the client didn’t use it consistently.
  • Bonus points if the GIFT HOME is near wrapping paper, shipping boxes and the necessary accessories!



The next level on this project is to use the GIFT HOME for a stash of more general gifts to give.

  • Helping with fundraiser raffle baskets in December, each basket needed just a few things to complete it – fuzzy socks and lotion for one, a Christmas mug or candle for another, etc.  One of my fellow volunteers asked “Do you just have a cabinet with all of these gift things just waiting?” and I answered “Yes!”.
  • Use the dedicated GIFT HOME to hold gifts that you might need to have / give with little notice. If I happen across a fun item, I will purchase a few extras to spontaneously give out. This idea was really helpful when my sons were younger, for that weekend birthday party the 8 year old forgot to tell you about until an hour before! I had a stash of Lego sets that came and went!
  • To be honest, I am absolutely a re-gifter. I use the GIFT HOME to hold onto NEW ONLY lovely items I receive but may never use until I can give them to someone who will love the item more than me. I attach a post-it to remind me where it came from, so I don’t end up giving it back to someone accidentally.



And Now, Gift Cards!

  • Establish a GIFT HOME for your unused gift cards, to use and to give as gifts as needed. Gift cards are $$ already spent!  Let’s make the most of those!
  • We keep a lot of gift cards because we use the gift card fundraiser program at my son’s school. We buy gift cards, and a portion of the sale goes towards tuition.
  • We have a different holder for the slightly used ones, and we note the remaining balance on the card with a sharpie.
  • Working with clients, I can’t even count how many gift cards we’ve found floating around in junk drawers, piles of papers, discarded gift wrap and bags, etc., and then we don’t know if the card is new or used. We can check the balance on the card by calling the phone # on the back, or visiting the website listed.

Do future-you a favor and create a consistent and accessible home for your gifts and gift cards for less-stressful gift giving!

ADHD Awareness Month, for Yourself and For Others

October is ADHD Awareness Month, and I want to help us all be more aware!

ADHD (Attention Deficit / Hyperactivity Disorder) is a
“neurodevelopmental disorder affecting both children and adults around the globe.” (from adhdawarenessmonth.org)

In my roles as a certified professional organizer, organizing coach and
fellow human being, I interact with many people with ADHD.

And, So Do You.

My next few blog articles will help you get to know ADHD.  I hope to delve deeper, but for now, let’s work on the “Awareness” of ADHD Awareness Month.

Did you know?

·    At least 10% of the population have ADHD, and probably a much higher percentage go undiagnosed or unnoticed. In a classroom
of 20 students, at least 2 have ADHD. 

·   ADHD can run in families, but not always.

  • If you have 10 friends with ADHD, each of the 10 will show their ADHD in a different way. There is no one way that a person with ADHD will act.

  • “ADHD”, at least the “H” part, may be a misnomer as not everyone who has ADHD also has hyperactivity.  ADHD can also show up as inattention, poor focus, poor planning, and poor impulse control and emotional regulation, to list just a few symptoms.

     

  •  ADHD is diagnosed from 2.5 to 4 times more often in boys than it is in girls (https://www.healthline.com/health/adhd/adhd-symptoms-in-girls-and-boys).  HOWEVER, ADHD is spread evenly between genders.  The difference is the rate of diagnosis.  ADHD shows up differently in different people, and characteristics like being “emotional”, “daydreamy” or “flighty” can wrongly be attributed to girls just because they’re girls and not because they may have an underlying condition.

     

  • ADHD can be diagnosed at any age. ADHD is diagnosed for  children of school age, but also with the transition to high school or to college, when parental supports and involvement changes and no longer compensates for the student with ADHD.

     

     

  • In addition, ADHD was not understood when most of today’s adults were children and many adults will continue to live life undiagnosed.

     

     

  • Folks with ADHD don’t need to “just try harder”, or “apply themselves”, or have better discipline.  ADHD is caused by a chemical deficit in the brain and not by some character flaw.  Often individuals with ADHD work very hard to overcome the challenges that come with ADHD and have spent their life coming up with coping strategies.

     

     

  • Some of the challenges of ADHD can also be considered benefits. For example, a characteristic of ADHD is the ability to hyper-focus on topics that are interesting to the individual. Of course, the ability to hyper-focus is also what sometimes leads to a misdiagnosis.

     

     

  • There are tools to help individuals manage their ADHD.  There is hope. 

And I think HOPE is the most important awareness of all.  

Stressed? Breathe With Me.

1 Comment

(Update, 08.28.2021: More resources to share!!
“Streaming services and Apps: Look for Headspace programing in Netflix, and Calm has a series on HBO Max.” (Per Real Simple, June 2021)


“For musical accompaniment while walking, composer Murray Hidary offers 30- and 60- minutes SilentWalk meditations, available to download for free at mindtravel.com” (Per Real Simple, June 2021)

The Breathing IQ, https://www.thebreathingiq.com/, “Helping The World Catch Their Breath”


Twice last week, I hopped on calls with clients who were stressed out. It happens to us all, and wow, do I understand that. But with both of these folks, because they are coaching clients and we can talk about these types of things, I asked if we could start our session with some square breathing.

Breathe in for 4 counts, hold it for 4 counts, release for 4 counts and hold for 4 counts. (4x4x4x4 makes a square). We did this for a few cycles and then started fresh.

(BTW, I am not yelling in this post though the type is bolded throughout. Many readers have informed me that the text color is too light for easy reading, and since WordPress… well, never mind about that but I can’t choose black as a text color, so I am just BOLDING my whole article from now on).

At Mass this weekend, we heard “Peace Be With You. I say again, Peace… and then He breathed on them…” And I was reminded again how peace and deep breathing are connected.

Organizing, like many things in life, can be difficult and stressful. When we square off to ‘do that tough thing’, we may tense up, breathe shallowly. Our heart rate increases and we prove to our body that organizing is hard.

You’ve heard the term “Fight or Flight Response”, or stress response? It describes the physical changes our body goes through when we are faced with a stressful situation. And the above description of shallow and rapid breathing, increased hear rate and physical tension is just a partial list of how our body reacts.

I’m not going to suggest that we don’t have stress or that we can avoid it completely, but I can suggest that our response options can be more than Fight or Run Away. Let’s check out some tools to help us manage our stress in life and organizing!


Deep breathing:

Above, I gave the example of square breathing. You can also try Triangle Breathing, if you find it more comfortable. Inhale for 3, exhale for 3, and hold at either side for 3 counts as well.

You can take your deep breathing on the fly, too, and pace your breathing to your steps as you walk. In addition, you can use this to help others around you. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but we tend to match the pace of the breath of folks around us. If we are around people feeling anxious and breathing quick and shallow (Not good!), we tend to start to do that. With intentional deep breathing, we can set the tone, help ourselves and perhaps others.


Body Scan:

Check in with your body. Like a million times a day. Even as I write this, thanks to the reminder, I have sat a little straighter in my seat, relaxed my shoulders, arms, jaw and forehead, and taken a few deep breaths.


Find daily reminders:

An instructor I had recommended finding reminders through her days for relaxation. She would use stopping at red lights, elevator rides, standing in line, etc., all common occurrences and sometimes stressful, to deep breathe, relax muscles, think positive thoughts, etc. I also like tangible reminders, like a rosary in my pocket or a worry stone, or the whiff of a essential oil.


Meditation and Mindfulness:

For the first 40-something years of my life, I had convinced myself that meditation was not for me because I would never be the person to sit still for 30 minutes.

I’ve learned that meditation and mindfulness can be found and embraced in small pieces through out our days.

I recognize that most organized religions incorporate meditation in the form of prayer into their faith practice.

I look forward to getting our deck project complete so I can meditate on summer evenings, but I also use the Calm App for quick guided meditations and soothing sounds into my background noise.

(I also use an amazing technique called EFT, Emotional Freedom Technique or Tapping. I am not the expert, but I know one, so let me know if you want to know more!)

How can you incorporate these tools into your day? Manage your stress, feel better and accomplish more with less worry in your days!



Managing Transitions: Work? First 5 Things, Last 5 Things

I’ve been talking with folks a lot lately about their Routines.  We often talk about morning or bedtime routines, to make those times run more smoothly.  But we can also create Get To Work or Leaving Work routines, to make those times run more smoothly, too!

We’ve all had those busy days!  Once you start your work day, you may have a hard time stopping.  So, this week, let’s think about how organize the start and of our work day to stress less and get more done!

I know, this may sound counter-intuitive, but focus on Yourself for the first few minutes you’re at work.  And if that means you also need to arrive a few minutes early, that will be time well spent.

First things first,

  • Grab your cup of coffee or tea, and refill your reusable water bottle.
  • Unpack your work from your work bag (if you carried any with you) and chill your lunch.
  • Hang up your work bag, your coat, your umbrella and whatever else you bring with you every day.  Clip your car keys in the proper spot (in your bag, on your purse, in your pocket) so that you can find them again when it’s time to go!
  • Take a couple of deep breaths.
  • Now, and only now, look at your task list, email or workload for the day.  Pick your three most important tasks and make a space on today’s schedule for progress on those tasks.  Then jump in!

Last 5 things:

Conquering these super busy times of your work day will help you work better and feel less stressed throughout your day!

Managing Transitions: Get Up and Get Ready!

Teaching a time management class last week, I reminded everyone that, from an organizational stand-point, our daily times of transition can make or break our schedule, our stuff, our brain and our peace of mind.

We all meet many transitions every day: sleeping to waking; home to work or school or both; arrival at work or school; leaving work or school; arriving home; leaving again for the evening; bedtime.  And conquering these transition times will bring us ease, help us be on time, get and stay organized, and get more done with less stress.

Let’s start with the first big transition of the day: Transitioning from Sleep to Ready to Leave!

Over the last week, I’ve run into the two extremes around Morning routines.  One client had no morning routine at all, and one had a routine that was too complicated and overwhelming  to succeed.  Let’s find some middle ground, and make this happen!

Keep it simple, Sweetie.  Start with Need To / Must Do Tasks.

  • And, start with things you can only do at home!
  • Shower (though I suppose you could do this at the gym!);
  • Get dressed (unless pajama day every day is the policy at your office. For the rest of us, though, we have to get dressed);
  • Fuel yourself with breakfast;
  • Brush thy teeth / comb thy hair / shave thy cheeks, etc..
  • If your getting ready routine is still too complicated, consider what tasks you can redistribute to other times of your day, like showering or exfoliating at night, for example.

If that is all you have time for before you leave the house, so be it.

What can you take on the road, if need be? 

  • And, NO, you wacky people on the toll road last week, shaving and applying eye liner while driving are NOT things you should take on the road!  However:
  • drinking your second cup of coffee, in a spill and leak proof go-mug;  or
  • eating your breakfast bar; or
  • reading the newspaper on the train (on my IPad’s Tribune App) are all tasks you can take on the road! 
  • I spent many days on the road this summer.  I still have the habit of carrying a small bag of essentials like lotion, toothpaste/brush, comb, etc., and each has come in handy in the last week!  Pack your little bag of little things, and take that on the road, too.

Get really good at completing the essential tasks EVERY DAY and in a timely manner. THEN… add in the optional items, the Cans and Shoulds and Just Maybes.  These may include:

  • pack that lunch and think about dinner;
  • office tasks like checking email;
  • house tasks like laundry, washing dishes; and
  • whatever other tasks you may tackle regularly but are not truly essential.

Give some thought to your short list of MUST DO tasks this week, get really good at completing those completely and on time, and then add in some of those optional items if you have time.  Conquering this first transition of the day will start you on the right path to a great day!

To:

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Book time with me in person or virtually;
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Any Day – EVERY DAY – Is A Good Day to Start Fresh

It’s a new week.  A new month.  For some, it’s a new fiscal year.  It’s the second half of the calendar year.  It’s a holiday week.  It’s a Tuesday.

Some of you may say, “Whatever, Coll.  It’s a Tuesday.  What’s your point?”

My point is… well, I guess I have a couple of points.

First, time is completely arbitrary.   It’s all relative.  

I know, that is a weighty statement.  But, weighty or not, it’s true.  Time is a human construct, a way of conceptualizing the phenomenon of Time Passing.  Even though I coach lots of people in Time Management, I am still the first to say that Time is arbitrary.

However, and here is the real point of today’s post, Any Day – EVERY DAY – is a good day to start fresh.

We’ve had a busy few months.  I’ve mentioned the two graduations and accompanying round of award banquets / events / concerts / ceremonies / parties.  We’ve also had a health challenge or 2 (everyone is fine), some work and service challenges, and everything in between.  And it’s all good, and we’re doing fine.

Everything I mentioned has required mental and physical energy, and I have been glad to spend both!  But this week, after a big event this past weekend, I am feeling a shift in my focus.  I must admit, yesterday I was just feeling a lack of focus :), but today  – I am looking forward with a new vision.

I am feeling motivated to mentally clear clutter and make plans to move forward in a number of areas, and I invite you all to do the same!

Accept that time moves, and moves quickly, whether we want it to or not.

I was chatting with a friend yesterday, her oldest son and my youngest son are both heading to high school in the Fall.  I was talking about the boys preparing for college, and then apologized for rushing, to which she wisely replied “It’s 4 years, we have to think that way.  Just yesterday, they were in 5th grade”, and it really does feel that way.

Take a few moments to appreciate where you have been.

One of my favorite exercises around Time Management and Productivity is writing my Done List.  Mine is typically a day or week at a time, but imagine what your list of major accomplishments in life so far would be!

Appreciate all the moments that lead you to this place in this time today.  Be grateful for the good, forgive the bad, and learn from both.

Next, take stock of where you are today.  How are you doing?  What is awesome, and what could be a little better?

What areas do you want to work on?

  • Personal Wellness
  • Financial Wellness
  • Work, in general
  • Professional development
  • Nuclear family
  • Extended family
  • Fun!
  • Spiritual development
  • Community Service
  • (Fill in yours here!!)

And, Where do you want to go? Looking at your focus areas above, what more do you want to do with your

  • week?
  • month?
  • summer?
  • year?

Today (and this week, this month, this season) is a new opportunity to make positive change.  What will you do with your opportunity? 

A new idea occurred to me the other day, to change our shopping habits to save time and money.  EXCEPT… that is not actually a new idea.  It’s a goal I stated wayyyyy back in January (and probably last year), but I think it’s time to create a plan and task list and deadline for it, and make some progress in that area.

Same thing for my personal wellness.  Good habits slip sometimes when life is especially crazy, so this week, I am also re-committing to some neglected wellness goals.

These are just a couple of examples from my own mind.  What will yours look like?  What do you want to do with your time, arbitrary or not?  Today is the Day!  Any Day – EVERY DAY – is a good day to start fresh!  Got get ’em!