Category: Adulting

Leadership Advice: Follow The Plan Not The Mood

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I had the amazing honor to be a part of the recent Chicago Women’s Conference at South Suburban College. I was asked to be a panelist for the “Turning Passion To Profits Panel”, which I mentioned in last week’s article and episode. This was a great opportunity to meet my fellow panelists and also impart wisdom to our attendees. In addition, though, I say I was honored to “be a part of” the Conference because I also got to attend and learn from amazing people!

In the first session, we heard from 4 Women In Leadership. One of the pearls of wisdom shared by the high powered panelists was the reminder to “Follow The Plan Not The Mood.” (I wish I had been sitting closer to the panelists so I knew specifically who said it, and I would give proper credit! And a quick google search shows it repeated often by wise people!)

Wow.

Yes, this.

That really resonates with me.

Before I go further, I will remind you – I am a coach and a certified professional organizer. I am not a therapist or a doctor, and when we talk about mood today, I am not talking about the extremes like depression, bipoloar disorder or mania. I am talking about our typical moods from day to day.

Back to the topic.

Follow The Plan Not The Mood.

Let’s talk professional or work specific plans here. I am going to assume we have good plans. We plan, we make plans, we make decisions on what we need to do – we make those decisions based on many factors: research, logic, the needs of our customers or clients, input from others, etc. Right? We know what tasks we need to complete today or this week to do our work or make progress or move us towards our goal. Those tasks, without judging them as hard or easy or long or short, we know what they are. And, we know we need to do them for the reasons I listed above – they are our work, they serve our community, we make progress or we move towards our goals – they are linked to things that we define as successful – money, clients, esteem, business building, etc.

We Make The Plan. But then, sometimes, something mercurial and unpredictable like a mood can de-rail us. Sometimes before we even get started.

Long ago, I had a client who was waiting for The Day. The Day that she would wake up and that would be the day that she would want to, be motivated to, have the energy to, get organized. The fire would be burning from within, there would be that glow, that energy. The planets will have aligned. The angels will sing. She was sure that some day, this beautiful but still mythical day would occur.

And I love that idea, that image, that dream, for her. And for all my clients. and even for myself! But so far, when she and I were working together, for this client, it was still just a dream. She understood the importance of being organized, which is why we were working together. She desired to BE organized, but she was not motivated to GET organized. She was waiting for the Mood to align with the Plan.

She was grown, likely in her 50s like I am now. And never once in her 50+ years on the earth had that magical mood ever happened on its own. She was still hoping it would, despite all data and experience pointing to the unlikelihood of that event. And the bigger problem was that she was WAITING for that mythical and unlikely day to happen, before she would work the “get organized” plan we had created together. She was WAITING for the day when she would just wake up and magically, transformatively, somehow, want to get organized. But we can’t rely on magic or waiting for The Mood to strike to make things happen.

The opposite can be true, as well! Perhaps we tend to be in a good mood and therefore productivity comes easy but we also get distracted with activities that come from a good mood like play!, or we rely heavily on the positive mood until the mood dips and then we need to return to Following The Plan, regardless of the mood.

And, let’s look at some vocab: per Psychology Today, PsychologyToday.com

  • “Emotions are real-time data sparked by sensations in the body.” (e.g., love, fear, joy, disgust, surprise, anger, sadness)
  • Next, “Feelings can be more biased, altered by mental misconceptions.” (anxious, calm, relaxed, resentful, frustrated, hopeful, typically a blend of emotions)
  • A mood can be a composite of emotions and feelings, and is thought to be less intense than an emotion.

Let me say, Emotions matter. Feelings matter. Mood matters. These are important and need to be respected. And, they are subject to change. In all directions!

There are days that I may say – ugh, I am just not feeling it today. And, “it” is likely work, adulting, or other tasks that feel difficult. Perhaps the emotions are hitting hard that day, like sadness or anger, or love and joy. Highs and lows, right? I liked that definition of Emotions as “real-time data”.

However… data changes and then emotions change. Feelings can be altered (also per the definition!). And mood can be impacted by changes in both, again – in all directions.

Follow The Plan Not The Mood. There are going to be days that what we are feeling does not fully support the plan. Emotions are not good or bad, they just are. Feelings are more subjective, for better or for worse, right? Extremely positive moods and feelings can also keep us from working the Plan for the Day just as much as negative moods and feelings!

But we still need to Work the Plan. The needs still must be met, the work likely still needs to get done.

Let’s remember, then, that feelings and moods are fickle. They can be changed by external forces. And the good news is, they can also be changed by internal forces. We can take action to adjust our feelings and moods and get back to Following The Plan.

We remember the plan, we acknowledge the emotions and the feelings, we check in on our mood. We can do things to Work the Plan even when it’s hard, with any strong feelings! The first step is awareness, of course. When the Plan isn’t matching the mood, check in. What are our current emotions? Current mood? Current feelings?

The Plan still needs to be followod, but we can also ajdust the mood, to make it easier to Follow The Plan. An informal poll of friends and family yielded the following ideas to adjust the mood to Follow the Plan.

  1. Feel your emotions and feelings strongly for a little while – like set a timer! Grab a journal, wallow for half an hour, celebrate for half an hour! Acknowledge them and feel them! And then adjust.
  2. Take care of self regulation tasks like eat food, drink water, take a shower, etc., and then get back to the work.
  3. Do something physical for a short time, like take a walk or work out, and then come back. This can both use and also generate energy, and boost the mood.
  4. Go outside, in sunlight if possible. Breathe the air, move around.
  5. Bribe yourself. Yes, I said that. Bribe yourself with a reward – a break? a treat? to do the work, until the mood more matches the plan.
  6. Create a playlist for yourself to boost your mood or motivate yourself. Yes, I have songs on Spotify I listen to when I need to boost the mood (anything by Will Evans or Chad Hollister, TBH).
  7. Visualize the Victories that will come from Following The Plan.
  8. Break the steps of The Plan into really small steps, to generate some momentum.

Follow The Plan Not The Mood.

Know the plan and get to the work of your day. And if the mood isn’t matching the Plan, that means we need to adjust the mood and not the Plan. The Plan remains the same, but we can respect and then also adjust our mood.

And this wisdom was from a panel of Leaders. Executives, Motivational Speakers, University Presidents. If I am going to take advice from others, I want to take it from them. The advice was not to ignore or squash the emotions or feelings. But was we take action, we follow the plan. And to make that less of a struggle, we can adjust the most subjective part of the equation, the mood, to increase our chances for success with Following The Plan. I love hopeful and magical thinking as much as the next person, but I am not going to leave my success up to chance! And neither should you. Follow The Plan Not The Mood.

“Good Enough” Is Better Than Not At All

Good enough destinations, inspired by and with thanks to my client P.

We want to be right, right? But we can also be right enough, close enough, good enough. That is my premise for today.

These days, I don’t always write or record conversations about clutter. But a client conversation and a recent Downsizing Presentation reminded me of some points that I want to share this week!

Clutter exists in our physical space, and also our mental space, our emotional space. Perhaps we are making progress towards clearing that clutter, but sometimes that progress slows down, or gets hung up or halted for some reason. Often, that slowdown or hangup is because of decision making and perfectionsim. So let’s look at that.

Clutter in our lives is often a reflection of other things in our lives. A symptom of other challenges, perhaps. And we can delve deeper to examine those other challenges another time, but we can also still make progress without examining the deeper work because let’s face it – we likely all agree, clutter negatively impacts our thoughts, emotions, frame of mind and more.

I have shared before how our physical environments influence our wellness and health. How having clutter can negatively impact our mental and physical health. Having clutter increases symptoms of depression, anxiety, bipolal disorder, ADHD, heart disease, diabetes, and the list goes on. And, that in addition to impacting our mental and physical health, clutter can lead to unsafe or unsanitary situtations. Clutter harbors mold, mildew, dust and other allergens, and it can physically be unsafe if it causes us to stumble or it falls on us, or increases fire risks in extreme sitations.

And, turning all of that around, Clearing Clutter decreases depression, anxiety, symptoms of bipolar disorder and ADHD, improves symptoms of heart disease and diabetes, improves air quality in our homes, sleep quality and overall safety.

Without needing to delve into trauma or personality or neurodiversity, those deeper challenges, we can still clear SOME clutter almost any day. Because we know that having less clutter improves our quality of life in these ways and more.

And yet.

Here’s the thing. I know amazing people and you are one of them! And very often I have conversations with my clients, neighbors, friends or family members, and they all want to part with their clutter to reap the beneifts and live better. But we get stuck on wanting to part with clutter but only in the Right Way or a perfect way, whatever that means. And we delay the positive benefits by waiting around for or puzzling over that one perfect solution, and waiting around for perfect keeps us from taking ANY steps to declutter, which keeps us mired in our clutter and its negative effects.

We focus on finding the perfect solution for parting with our clutter; making lots of money; finding someone who will value this item greatly, like we did when we first bought it 20 years ago; finding the MOST WORTHY cause to donate our items. And we still live in clutter and chaos because these unicorns, these perfect solutions, might not actually exist. Choosing to live with clutter is not logical, when we know the benefits, so let’s look at decision making logically.

I was coaching with a client in December, discussing her work and progress in clearing clutter in the different areas of her home. She wants to live in a cleaner and safer space, and also wants to enjoy her home more. And improve air quality to help with her asthma. And clear some spaces for some home imprements like electrical or plumbing work, or painting.

And as we were talking through her spaces, she metioned some very specific items that she wanted to part with. As soon as she mentioned them, I had three very specific ideas of non-profit organizations that we could donate the items to, but each would require a phone call or an appointment or renting a truck to drop things off, etc. But – let’s recall – we were seeking solutions and I did not want to add to my client’s burdens. So as we discussed possible solutions, I also suggested that we seek some combination of the perfect solutions for some things and also “Good enough” solutions. To help her make the progress she desires while also seeking perfect solutions, if we happen to find them.

Yes, for truly meaninful items, we may continue to seek a perfect destination for our stuff. But most of our stuff isn’t truly meaningful. So what this client and I discussed was creating a rubric, path or process for deciding “Good Enough” solutions to clearing her clutter as she works through the different storage spaces in her home. A decision-making matrix.

Here are some of the questions we came up with, for her and the rest of us, when we determine we no longer want an item, or an item in our home needs to leave.

I like money, money’s nice. Question 1 then, Is the item returnable? And if it is, is the hassle worth it? Meaning, the amount of money we would receive for returning the items is more that the time and effort it takes to return in. (For example, if an item is returnable but requires special shipping or transportation, and the cost of those eats up the money we woud have received in return).

Question 2, Is the item sellable? And is the hassle worth it? Like returning an item, will the amount of money for selling an item be more than the time and effort it takes to sell it? For example, Beanie Babies or bobble heads or beer steins. I’ve had many difficult conversations with clients and loved ones regarding collectibles and their believed worth. Unfortunately, items that we believe are sellable and worth lots of money sometimes… are not.

And, there are other organizers and experts out there that can help you determine if an item has worth and is sellable. I am not that organizer or expert.

Check out my permanent Blog Post regarding resources and destinations for parting with your items.

Organizing Resources to Reduce, Reuse and Recycle!

Next, Question #3, If we can’t get money for the item, is it sharable? Can we give it away? Is there someone that we know personally that can use this item? A friend, a loved one, a neighbor, co-worker, someone on our community? Could I take it somewhere in my community, like to church or the library or the local food pantry, depending on what it is? I also consider sharing items on my community’s Free Box Facebook Page. My Sister-In-Law downsized her mother’s apartment and share many things in her local Buy Nothing group.

And having parameters on those types of groups is helpful, too. For example, “I will post an item on the FB group or groups, check back if there is no response after 1 or 3 or 7 days, and then delete the entry from the page and donate the item (depending on the terms of the group).”

Which leads us to the next question, Is it donatable? Is there a specific person or group or organization that would take this item as a donation? I will take an item down off the Facebook pages, bag it up and drop it off at Goodwill, St. Vincent de Paul, AmVets Purple Hearts, Epilepsy Foundation, Savers, Neat Repeats (a local second hand store), etc. And because I do this for some of my clients, I stop by donation destinations once a week.

For my clients, having this decision making process is helpful, and more importantly, deciding at the beginning of the process that clearing clutter is more important than finding perfect solutions and destinations encourages progress.

I believe most people are truly good people. We want to do the right thing. But perfectionism can trip us up. We can avoid getting stuck if we can get better at decision making. Decision making, getting better at deciding that something is clutter, and then how to part with it is so important for continued progress on the organizational process.

We don’t want to end up with boxes of things by our back door, in our garage, by the front door. We know we want to part with our clutter, and getting good at “Good Enough” keeps your brain from stumbling on the where, what or why. Determine how long you really want to spend on the redistribution of items, and what you will also be okay with if you just need to drop them off somewhere or donate them. I’m not saying all the items, but many!

I also commend you for wanting to do the right thing with those items. And so let’s figure out what the right thing is for ourselves. And then barring the right and perfect destination for your items, let’s decide what good enough looks like and then be ready to make that happen. Clutter cleared is more important than clutter put into the perfect situation. Because, you know, perfect is kind of hard to attain. But good enough – well, I’m all about “good enough” most days!

Life Lessons From My High School Typing Teacher

Recently, my high school typing teacher passed away at the age of 93 in my hometown of Kalamazoo, Michigan.

I hadn’t thought about Mr. Frank Caro in a while until my dad, who still lives in my hometown, called me with the news on a Sunday, surely after reading the local Sunday paper. My dad called while I was in the car driving with my husband as we headed downstate to visit my youngest son at college. And I spent a few minutes explaining to Greg the phenomenon that was Mr. Caro.

I explained, probably with a smile on my face, that he was my typing teacher sophomore year of high school. I still remember him so vividly! He was, now that I can look at him with wisdom that comes from growing up and life experiences, brilliant. I learned about far more than typing from Mr. Frank Caro.

He seemed eccentric, quirky even. It was the 80s, but he wore clothes from the 70s and maybe even 60s. He provided one of those glimpses in life, when you see a teacher outside of school and realize that the quirkiness, dated dressing and slightly snarky persona was an act they put on as a teacher. And that the persona was not the same as, or not all there was to, the actual person, the normal looking family man, husband and father, in slacks and a sweater that you saw at Mass on the weekends. And you have to take a moment and broaden your perspective and understanding that teachers are people. Not just people or just teachers, but both.

And he taught this by example, as well. My siblings and I had a lovely back and forth about Mr. Caro, and it also turns out that he was definitely paying attention in class and out of class, as a couple of my comments and my brothers’ comments showed the awareness he had of them as people outside of the classroom, too. So, one lesson I learned from Mr. Caro is understanding all the facets of a person.

It may be difficult to imagine now, but in the 80s, every student was required to take typing at some point in their high school career, and yes, I am totally dating myself right now. But we were required to take typing, and since mine was not a big high school, we all had him as a teacher. And we all have our memories of him and mine are quite fond. I won’t say that at 15, I was a very good typist. He would walk among our desks and comment if we were looking at our fingers on the keyboard or checking our accuracy, and he commented often to me. But even though he was stern and kind of quirky, I don’t remember disliking or feeling frustrated or having a problem with his occasional nasally admonishments. (My brother said in the text thread, “The magic of Frank Caro was the delivery. How to convey that thin, obnoxious French waiter voice with perfect drops of sarcasm and superiority?”) That’s just what you signed up for, when you had Mr. Caro as a teacher.

As is often the case, my dad called me to tell me of Mr. Caro, and it was my job then to share this nugget of news with my siblings. My siblings, my brothers, were 2 and 4 years ahead of me at the same school and they also had Frank Caro for typing. When I finally remembered two days later to text my siblings early on a Tuesday, my oldest brother Sean commented immediately with “Breathe with continuity. Type with continuity. Live with continuity.”

Those were the words to live by that he remembered from the mid-80s and his experience with Frank Caro. Isn’t that funny? That this man obviously impacted all three of us, and others of course, at different times 30 some years ago, and the messages still remain.

“Type with continuity. Breathe with continuity. Live with continuity.”

My brother Patrick had kind words as well, remembering that he “shouldn’t have gotten along as well with Mr. Caro as he did”. But Mr. Caro, one on one, was also vastly different than Mr. Caro in the classroom, and it turns out my brother and his friend used to stop by Mr. Caro’s room daily to grab a piece of candy from the candy jar and visit.

Patrick’s Frank Caro quote was “Never Lose Track Of Your Home Row.”

How amazing.

Breathe with continuity. Type with continuity. Live with continuity.

And

Never Lose Track Of Your Home Row.

I guess there was a lot of truth or merit or value, or all of the above, to whatever mysticism our typing teacher was weaving and working in his classroom, for all three of us to have vastly different experiences in life, but we, to a person, also had fond and powerful memories of typing class. And it’s not that it was typing class, it’s that it was Mr. Caro. We know that now. Breathe with continuity. Type with continuity. Live with continuity. And, Never Lose Your Home Row.

A lesson I carry with me from Frank Caro is that “Faster Is Not Better”. Meaning, work on accuracy, and with practice, the speed will come. I am a musician. I was a musician then, a budding one, and still am today. And the lesson still holds true. Work on doing things right, and then practice A LOT, and the speed will come. In flute music, we don’t learn 1/16th note runs in music by playing them fast immediately. In typing class, it was more important that we be accurate first and then gain speed next. True then in typing, true now in life. Lessons to live by.

I didn’t know this would be an ode to my high school typing teacher, but as it turns out, it is. I was inspired to share the Life Lessons that I learned at the age of 15 and that have obviously stuck with me this long, and I’m grateful for the experiences and the knowledge gained, and the shared experience with my siblings. I love knowing they had similar clear and fond memories of this man that I did.

To review:

  • We are all made up of many facets.
  • “Breathe with continuity. Type with continuity. Live with continuity.”
  • “Never Lose Your Home Row.” And
  • “Faster Isn’t Better.”

In addition, I have a couple other challenges for you this week inspired by Frank Caro.

I’ve taken you all with me on a walk through time recently, with Psychology 101 from freshman year of at the University of Dayton, to Production and Operations Management from college junior year, and now a dip back to high school at Hackett Catholic Central, as I recall topics and teachers who have influenced my life. That’s big.

First challenge: What do you want people to remember about you in 40 years? What do you want to be remembered for? And when you can answer that question, make sure that is the life you are living now. We don’t understand the impact that we can have, but we can have an impact. So determine what that impact is, that you want to have.

And, second challenge: Who was that teacher for you? If those special teachers or mentors are still around to be appreciated, appreciate them. Reach out to an impactful teacher or mentor that you’ve had in your life and say thank you. They would love to hear from you and to know how they touched your life, and you will be a better person for being able to say thank you and being grateful for them.

For example, a few years ago, I reached out in a letter to my best boss ever (and I am self employed!), Helen, to thank her for her support during my time at the University of Illinois, and for being generally gracious and amazing and someone I should aspire to be like. Humbly, of course, she said she didn’t see that, but that a co-worker of mine from the same time had said the same thing. I am better for having known her, and she needed to know that.

I didn’t have a chance to say thank you to Mr. Caro. However, since Mr. Caro was a faithful Catholic like me, I have faith he is able to hear my gratitude in heaven.

May we keep remembering that:

We are all made up of many facets.

To “Breathe with continuity. Type with continuity. Live with continuity.”

To “Never Lose Your Home Row.” And

That “Faster Isn’t Better.”

Thanks, Mr. Caro.

Finding, Keeping and Returning to Focus

Last week, I mentioned that I am creating an upcoming professional development presentation around making the best use of our time, and helping us stay on task and focuses. To review, in last week’s podcast episode and article, the first part of that process needs to be identifying what is important for us to do, and what the best use of our time will be. And then we need to get to work! And, sometimes we need to get back to work, after distractions try to take us off course!

So this week, now that we know WHAT to do, we are looking at how to help a team and ourselves remain on task and stay focused, or return to focus throughout our day.

Today is about tools in that Focus Tool Box. I will mention many strategies. Some will resonate with you and some will not. And that’s ok. Perhaps one works with today’s schedule and workload but you need to try something else tomorrow with its schedule and workload. So it is good to have options!

A highlight of the tools we will touch on today, in no particular order:

  • Getting Ready and Self Regulation
  • Deep Breathing and Nature Breaks
  • Start with A Short List of 3
  • Block Time and Batch Work
  • Specificity
  • Recipes, for repeated work / duplicative processes
  • Phone calls are meetings. Schedule them, work with an agenda and keep them brief.
  • Factor in Rest
  • Routines for household tasks so they aren’t distracting us if we work from home

Getting Ready and Self Regulation:

I am a success coach for a cohort of students working through a 13 week Teacher’s Aide readiness program. And we were just working through the lesson on Student and Classroom Behavior. The Lesson talked a lot about self-regulation, and helping a student to be ready for and open to learning. And we, as adults, need to be the same, ready for and open to work. Some days, we may start our work day energized and focused and ready to do the work! And sometimes we are not. But even on the days we aren’t ready, the work still needs to get done.

So, how do we become ready for and open to learning or working? Perhaps we do a short meditation, read motivation words, do some deep breathing, phone a friend for a brief pep talk, take a walk around our work space and get the blood pumping. Maybe you have a “first few things” ritual, like grabbing a cup of tea or coffee or water, turning on your work lamp, putting your phone on silent, opening up the blinds. I have worked remotely for the 21 year life span of my business, but I will close my eyes and imagine the turning a Closed Sign on my door to Open as a signal to myself that it is work time!

Deep Breathing and Nature Breaks

Transitions are tough some days, and are often where we can lose focus the fastest! So as we shift from one batch of of work to another, or one block of time to the next, or start of finish a meeting, or drop the kids off at school and come home – whatever those look like to you – it helps to acknowledge that there is a transition, and also take a few minutes for self care. A hiking guide many years ago called them nature breaks, when we respect our biology and do those survival tasks we must! A new beverage, bathroom break, a few minutes of deep breathing to oxygenate our brain and refocus on the important stuff.

Start with a short and vital list of 3:

Every day needs a few of those needle movers that we talked about last week. Three, or maybe 4, tops. A short list, but a vital one. Every work day morning, or ideally, the night before as you close up for the day, identify the important tasks that MUST get done, in the midst of the rest of your work day. Those Best Use Of Our Time items that we identified last week. What is important, what is something only I can do, what are other projects waiting on me to complete, what work are other people on the team waiting for? For me, today that is write this article for podcast recording, publish this week’s newsletter and a coaching special, and pack my bag for the next two days of presentations. Those are the things that must get done, to deliver work to others and keep me moving towards my goals, in addition to the many meetings I have today. And, I have blocks of time today dedicated to those tasks, which brings me to Time Blocking and Batch Work.

Time Blocking and Batch Work

These are two related strategies, so I am lumping them together.

Per the Todoist.com website, Time Blocking “is a time management method where you divide your day into blocks of time. Each block is dedicated to a specific task or group of tasks. For example, you might block out 9 am to 10 am for checking and responding to emails, 10 am to 12 pm for working on a specific project, and 1 pm to 2 pm to have lunch at that new Thai restaurant.”

And Batch Work is related because it collects tasks of similar categories or themes, so we can complete them together and realize economies and synergy. For example, during an assigned time block, taking care of client communications. Like collecting and completing a batch of client care texts and emails with a copy and paste message and my schedule open as well for setting next client appointments.

In terms of Finding, Keeping and Returning to Focus, Time Blocking and Batch Work ensure that the work that we have decided is important today, that is the Best Use of Our Time, gets done!

Another example, during an assigned time block, typically on a Thursday, I tackle my accounts receivables and payable tasks when I have my calendar, and my bookkeeping and invoicing software open. I pay my bills, make deposits, send out invoices, check in on and send reminders on unpaid invoices owed to me. Because I like money. Money is important. I think all the income and banking and bill paying thoughts at the same time, which gets those tasks done more swiftly and well. (In recent podcast terms, both efficiently AND effectively!)

For yourself, take out the word money and fill in the blank. Maybe it’s an operations type of task. Maybe it’s new client focused for this hour and current client focused for the next hour. Or creating a new website and writing content for a few hours. What are your important things, and where is there a block of uninterrupted time to do them?

Block and Batch for the Knowns, and Leave Space for the unknowns.

We can start with our 3 or 4 things that we have to do today, but we also know that most days, new stuff also comes in. We start the day with our own intention, with our own plan, but we also need to leave space and flexibility for emails, calls, issues that come up outside of the plan. One strategy could be to plan for 30 minutes or an hour of intentional planned work, and then a 30 minute block of today’s emails / texts / phone calls / new concerns. Balancing planned work and new work ensures both get accomplished today.

Get Very Specific

We need to recognize that often our projects and work for today and this week are actually a group of tasks. We see this in Time Blocking and Batch Work, when we assign a “Bookkeeping and Money Tasks” Block, and identify the Batch work for that block.

When we get really specific with the tasks, it is also easier to prioritize the tasks, choose an easy and quick one to gain momentum, choose a tougher one when time and energy allows, etc.

I can add a block for client care, but some days, I need to list each client that I need to contact that day and what I need to contact them about. So when I sit down for that Time Block to do the work, I can more easily focus on tasks and not on the planning or thinking or ruminating about the task. Which leads us to, in some ways:

Recipes, for repeated work / duplicative processes

So I talk about recipes a lot, and that is a great way to stay on track and focused with recurring or repeated work. For example, one day last week, a Time Block was dedicated to February Presentations and the batch work was to confirm the 6 presentations I have coming up. And I have spoken in recent articles and episodes that I created a recipe for that repeated work. It is important work, presenting is an income stream for my business, it definitely moves me towards my goals. And confirming the presentations has become both efficient and effective with these Recipes.

So what did that look like? Let’s look at one specifically: A stress management class in the middle of February for the career readiness training program that I teach at south Suburban College. My recipe says: Presentation: What? (Stress Management) When? (Start and stop time, February 18, all day) Update Handouts; Update Invoice, Email invoice and handouts (I have a list of the handouts I need for each of my presentations) Pack Bag, etc.

And I can use this over and over again, each presentation (6 in February), every month, etc. And the recipe helps me to stay focused, and also to refocus if I get distracted. And that’s important because sometimes we are taken away from the task in front of us. And it’s a way for us to kind of bookmark our work and so we can get back to it when time allows and we can pick back up again where we left off. Right? So we leave ourselves these notes, these hints, these recipes, these, you know, love notes for later, whatever you want to call them, so that we can get back to business.

Manage Phone Calls Like Meetings

Manage your conversations, at least during work hours. What’s the purpose, agenda, desired outcomes, and realistic time estimate for a call. And run it like a meeting, with specific start and end times.

Factor in Rest:

The fact is, we can’t maintain focus if we don’t rest sometimes. I know today I have been talking all about how to maintain focus, and how to get back on track if we lose focus, etc. And sometimes the best way to do that is to step a way for a few minutes. No, sometimes the best use of my time is to lay on the couch and read a book. Because sometimes we just need to relax, right? So that can be the best use of our time as well. And we need to remember that, like, rest sometimes can be just as important as everything else. And I’m saying that out loud because I need to remember that for myself. Totally true.

Routines for Personal and Household Tasks

A tool for maintaining focus during our work day is having those routines I have been talking about, too, around personal and household tasks so that you don’t get distracted by those items when you need to be focusing on work.

Ok, whew! Let’s review the Focus tools in our Focus tool box!

  • Getting Ready and Self Regulation
  • Deep Breathing and Nature Breaks
  • Start with A Short List of 3
  • Block Time and Batch Work
  • Specificity
  • Recipes, for repeated work / duplicative processes
  • Phone calls are meetings. Schedule them, work with an agenda and keep them brief.
  • Factor in Rest
  • Routines for household tasks so they aren’t distracting us if we work from home

I mentioned we would review a lot of tools today! Which ideas resonate with you the most? What is one tool or strategy that you can see would help you this week? Give it a try!

Survival Needs Come First, Then Maintenance

I promised on my last podcast episode to talk more about routines and what I call “Survival” and “Maintenance” level habits or tasks.

Let’s talk about those as our year progresses and we look to add in or even subtract habits to our schedule and routines, making sure that the ones we have support us. And, I would hope that if we can look at our survival and maintenance routines in a more objective way, we can design routines and habits that support the fundamentals efficiently and consistently, so we can get on with whatever else it is we want to accomplish today, this week and this year!

A class participant last year asked me to help them stay motivated to complete their daily survival and maintenance habits and routines, and this is for them, too. Survival and maintenance tasks aren’t optional, so the the question isn’t IF we complete them, but HOW.

I am going to dip into psychology with you here. I have a BS in Management, and a double minor in Psychology and music performance. I often think in terms of psychology, how our brains and minds work, and why people do what they do!

As we talk about survival and maintenance level tasks, though, let’s start with Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. This is a theory in developmental psychology. If you want to know more, you can google it. There is a lot of information out there! Go to a library, or take an Intro to Psych course! That is where I started!

The hierarchy of needs is represented as a pyramid, with 5 levels. Physiological needs are the very bottom, then safety needs, then love and belonging, then esteem and then self actualization.

The theory is, we all start motivated to first meet physical needs as in air, food, clothing, shelter and sleep. The reason the theory is represented in a pyramid form is that the physical or physiological needs are the foundation of all other needs.

We have to start at the bottom, and make sure that physical needs are met, as in the things we need to do to survive until tomorrow morning. And, we need to ensure those survival needs are met consistently, before we can move up the pyramid.

I say “met consistently” because, for example in terms of food – first we need to eat food to survive. And then we need to make sure we can eat again, to continue to survive. And that moves us up the pyramid into Safety needs.

In real life, that looks like eating breakfast and also packing a lunch for later, and having a plan for dinner. And having the means to buy and store more food when we use up what we have, to continue to meet those survival needs.

Since you have the technology and time to read this article and listen to the podcast, I am going to assume you have your physical needs for survival met. And if not, go take care of those! Because… and here is a really important part of understanding the Hierarchy of Needs – we can’t succeed at the next level until we’ve taken care of the level below.

In real life, as you know, I work on our local Board of Education. And in education, we understand that a student who is hungry or freezing is going to have a hard time learning. A student who doesn’t feel safe or who is homeless is going to have a hard time learning. So, almost every school district has free and reduced meals available to students if they don’t necessarily have the means at home to eat. No judgement, just planning ahead. Acknowledging that their physiological needs must be met for our students to succeed.

We, too, as adults, cannot expect to achieve Esteem and Self-Actualization if we are consistently hungry, cold, unsafe, etc. That is the theory, the hierarchy. And that is where we need to start with our routines as well.

Whew, that was a very long winded Lead Up.

But we need to start with survival when it comes to our routines as well.

Globally, we need to wake up (sleep and shelter are level 1), eat breakfast (level 1), get dressed (level 1), take a shower (level 2 for health). Then we need to look at safety needs, in terms of going to work to ensure personal security, continued physiological needs being met, continuing to have a safe and healthy place to live, etc.

We have higher aspirations most days as well! The need for belonging and love and community, the need to be respected and to excel, the need ultimately do and be what we desire to become. But it’s difficult if not impossible for us to get to that pinnacle, to that top level if we haven’t done the other things first.

Which is why I talk so often about Routines and Habits.

We know we must meet our physiological needs. Must. And at least daily, if not more than once a day. So the question isn’t if, but how? And how to do that really well? As easy, as quickly, as efficiently, as well as possible. We identify the needs, decide how to meet them, take time-wasting decision making out the mix, and meet them every day. To survive. And also to do so consistently, so we can move up the hierarchy to safety.

Our physiological needs are met most days. We have clothes (level 1). And we need to make sure they’re clean (level 2). So we can feel good and feel good about ourselves (levels 3 and 4).

Because we can’t move up the pyramid if those first things have not been met, if we are naked and starving. It’s really hard to write a novel or create a great work of art or whatever it is that you are meant to do to be actualized if your survival needs aren’t met.

Now maintenance is less often, but it is eternal. And maintenance is what comes next when it comes to habits and routines once we ensure our survival. Maintenance ensures we CONTINUE to survive consistently. The systems we need to continue to flourish.

Maintenance is next level, it is asking how do we do survival better? How do we do more than just survive? How do we actually maintain. Consistently meeting and maintaining survival habits takes us to the Maintenance level where the need of personal safety and taking care of our homes and taking care of our health.

And, once we have firmed up those two first levels, we can move up the pyramid. And unfortunately, we can’t always move up the pyramid WITHOUT doing the survival and maintenance tasks. At least not for long.

Let’s good at maintenance, then, too, and that is DEFINITELY where habits and routines come in! So maintenance around our survival habits are doing laundry, taking our supplements and medications, cooking and grocery shopping, keeping ourselves and our environment clean and healthy.

I propose that these steps are also not optional if we desire to move to the next levels of the pyramid. Let’s get good at those things, and then we can move on to progress in love and belonging, esteem and self-actualization! And it all starts with habits and routines, survival and maintenance.

How to Make Habits Stick

I had a conversation with one of my sons the other day about Routines and Habits.

And, for context, my sons are currently 20, 24 and 27. I was recently reviewing one of my first blog articles published in 2010 when they were 5, 10 and 12. A lot has changed since then, trust me! One is in college, and two are professionals out in the working world.

But I digress.

We were talking about routines and habits, and he mentioned that his habits and routines around his professional life are vastly different from his personal life. And hey, that is most of us. No judgement there. Truly, many people find this to be the case. I recall a client early on in my career who created and managed his company’s document retention policies and he hired me to help him with his out of control personal papers.

Sometimes, we are organized in some parts of our lives but not all parts of our lives!

Similarly, I have been reflecting on my routines around home maintenance and business practices, and how I am SO SPOT ON in those areas but… I never get around to working out. What is that about, right? I am highly capable, I know how to do this, and yet… well, you know.

When I journaled about where I stumble, I realized that some of the reasons my habits fail are:

  • Neglecting my habits and routines isn’t outwardly visible. No one but me will know if I worked out or ate healthy or meditated today.
  • And taking care of home and work and liturgy and clients impacts others and is visible, so that keeps me on track.
  • No one is paying me to maintain my personal routines and habits, unlike the business, meaning it is not unprofessional if I neglect them.
  • Neglecting my personal habits doesn’t negatively impact others, at least not directly.
  • And, getting back on track with these neglected habits and routines also doesn’t have quick results, and it turns out, seeing results for my efforts keeps me motivated. (Of course.)

And, I can use this knowledge to devise strategies for making my habits stick, like exercise and healthier eating. And I use myself as an example because I don’t have to ask permission. But enough about me.

In last week’s article and podcast, I said it would be easy to say that “Change is Hard!”. And that unfortunately, change in the, let’s say, negative direction, is deceptively easy! That no, change isn’t hard, but sometimes making positive change is!

And, last week, I challenged you and myself to return to normal, to look at what has worked before and get back to it, instead of trying to re-invent the wheel or make huge sweeping changes.

But how? This week is about the how! How to establish or re-establish good habits and routines, and how to help them stick!

Recognize where and how we ARE organized, and determine if we can use the skills from one area in other areas.

For example, I wrote in October about Recipes and how I have always used them for managing my bookkeeping and backing processes, but only more recently applied the same strategy to planning and writing my content or setting up my choir’s liturgy planning.

I mentioned the long ago client with his paper management challenges. The first thing we talked about was how to use what he knows about document retention policies professionally for his own personal papers, like categories, naming conventions, expiration dates, scheduled maintenance, etc.

If you are a teacher and you’re amazing at creating and sticking with lesson plans, does that translate to planning and implementation in your personal life? And can it?

Note your “Why”.

I find this is especially helpful for habits or routines that won’t yield immediate results. If your habit or routine isn’t fun or instantaneous or easy, well, you might struggle to stay motivated. Keeping a reminder of your “Why” helps us to stay motivated. And since a habit takes at least 3 weeks to establish, we need to keep up the motivation until a habit becomes routine.

And we will talk about learning styles in a minute, so note your “Why” in a way that works for you. Perhaps it’s a few words or an image on your phone’s lock screen. Perhaps it’s a song you listen to every morning in the shower. Perhaps its a short and simple mantra you repeat to yourself while doing some square breathing through out your day. I just sent an affirming text to a friend, for doing the hard things and was reminded to put on my bracelet that says the same (www.Mantraband.com).

Take decision-making out of the action plan.

Decision making is not the same as action.

Decision making is one of our biggest time wasters. And, if decisions are still to be made when it comes to acting on our habits and routines, the decision can always be “No, not today”. So, what can we do to remove decision making from the action plan?

For example, I have 4 wake up times set as alarms in my phone. (Don’t judge, there’s a plan here!) I only use one a day, but I have them preset. 5, 5:31, 6, and 6:33 am. My wise husband suggested I just set one and adjust it every day. However, I find that the already-made decisions, with those times as suggestions for every day, breaks down the decision to which one? instead of what time? I don’t have to re-do the math, depending on how early I need to leave the house or what time my first zoom meeting is? Instead, I look at the 4 options and pick a pre-set.

I’ll use a work-out as example again, set up the clothes and any special equipment you’ll need the night before, know which activity you will partake in the next day (outdoor walk, bike, elliptical, etc.). Decide ahead of time, and be ready to just act.

Stack Your Habits

Author James Clear uses a term called “Habit Stacking”. “Habit stacking is a method to create new habits by linking them to existing ones.” (From https://jamesclear.com/habit-stacking) I heard it from James Clear first, perhaps the credit goes to someone else, I will apologize now if I have given credit incorrectly.

We all have many habits that are very well established. A different son of mine calls it his Default. I wake up at close to the same time every morning, often before an alarm. I make coffee EVERY DAY. I shower EVERY DAY. I check my phone and email EVERY DAY, multiple times mostly. I often get hungry at the same times each day so I am in the kitchen at consistent times.

What do you do EVERY DAY, and sometimes many times a day? Without thinking about it or planning it? Identify those EVERY DAY or EVERY WEEK items in your routines, and attach new habits or routines to those already ingrained habits and routines. In my presentations, I offer the example of my morning supplements. When we remodeled our kitchen in 2017, I made sure that the cabinet where I keep my supplements is also where we keep the coffee. Because while I was not always consistent with my supplements, I’m very consistent with my morning coffee. And as I stand and wait for my first cup to brew, I can take my supplements. Stacking that new habit to the well-established habit made the new habit stick.

Or, what if, every time I walk through the kitchen or stop to make a meal or snack, I drink a glass of water? That would go a long way towards keeping me hydrated (another habit I want to re-establish).

Another example, I have a deeply ingrained habit of sitting down at my laptop to check my email in the morning. I have been working in square breathing and tapping sessions into my day, plus I have these great mindfulness cards that I received last year as a gift and want to start using. At first, I wanted dedicated meditation space to do these things and then… they never happened. So instead, I am working with the deeply ingrained morning habit and attaching a few zen moments to the existing habit and location. I’ll let you know how it works!

Gamify Anything You Can

Per Google, “Gamify means ‘to apply typical elements of game playing (e.g. point scoring, competition with others, rules of play) to (an activity), typically as a … technique to encourage engagement…'”.

A strategy to help our habits stick is to make the habit fun, competitive, novel, reward centered, and / or social or community based. There is nothing wrong with fun and games! Let’s use them to help our habit stick! Track your metrics, create rewards for yourself, create competition with friends, set your habit to music, phone a friend – the options are endless!

I often share the example of a long-time client and friend, a retired educator, who used a star chart just like a student might, to track her new habits and keep herself motivated to keep up the good work. A star for each day a certain task is completed, and a full week of stars on the chart earns a prize for the weekend (Special outing with a friend, fresh flowers for her home, perhaps a special snack or prize?). This tried and true motivator works for kids AND adults!

A part of gamifying your new habits and routines could also be to set micro-goals, short-term and easy to achieve goals, to keep the bursts of success flowing which keeps us motivated.

Use reminders that play to your strengths.

If you are visual learner, leave yourself lists, post-its, highlighters or REALLY BIG CLOCKS, or have your technology send you text messages. A reminder pops up on my Apple Watch if I haven’t stood up and walked around in the last 50 minutes. Yes, that reminder helps me.

Are you an auditory learner? I am. I learn well by hearing things. Use alarms on your phone, set timers, create a favorite playlist to help you rock your new habits and routines.

Do you learn by doing / touching / moving things around (kinesthetic)? For you (or your family member), the physical act of writing and then checking off habits and steps to your routines may be useful, or using chore cards or magnets or other things that you can move around may help.

Some of us learn by saying things out loud, too. If this describes you or a family member, try describing your habits to others, or creating a mantra or single sentence to repeat to yourself to help you focus on your good habits.

Good Habits may take time and energy to create, but having them and sticking with them will serve you well for years to come.

You know more than you think. You are highly capable in so many ways. If you are looking to create new habits and routines to support a better day, whatever that looks like for you, consider these strategies for helping your new habits stick!

First, Let’s Return to Normal

New Year, New Article!

This article started out as a re-boot of an article from 2018, but I have updated it so much, it deserves a new posting!

Happy 2025! My sons say 2025 is a made up number, that it doesn’t sound real. It’s real now!

I started to write this article a few different ways this morning, and I realized I was stumbling over the perception of “normal”.  I said to a friend last weekend that I am grateful that the breakneck pace of the holidays is winding down. That the last 4 or 5 or 6 weeks had been busier than typical weeks, what with travel and holidays and cooking and gift shopping and wrapping, etc., and that it would be good to take a breath and slow down.

And then, after a moment of consideration, I realized it has been longer than 6 weeks since I have seen “normal”. I have to share here, things haven’t really been normal for me since mid October.  I had diverticulitis in October and then a strong reaction to the Flu Shot, and those knocked me off my “normal” for a solid month, and THEN it was the holidays, etc.

The good news today, for me and you, though, is two fold. 

First, As the pace slows down to a more breathable and sustainable pace, you and I have more space and opportunity to add back in the habits that we know support us.  For me, my habits, when they are consistent, support me to be healthy, calm and energized. They support me to be there for and with my family, to be productive, to help me help my community here in Evergreen Park and beyond and all of you.

And the other piece of good news is that we already know what to do.

This time of year, it would be easy to say, “Know what? Change is hard.”   Saying it out loud, though, I immediately realized that I was wrong.  No, change isn’t hard.

Sometimes, change is extremely easy.  For example, as recently as last month, I was exercising daily and making healthy food choices.  And … then… the holidays happened.  And it got cold. And rainy. Which makes it difficult to take a daily walk.  And there is still holiday food and cookies in the house.  So, changing from healthy eating and exercising to… well … less healthy eating and not exercising was really easy!

While it’s easy to believe the self-defeating statement “Change is Hard”, and therefore unlikely to happen or be successful, that is all it is – a self-defeating statement lacking truth.  We convince ourselves that “Change is Hard”, and then we set ourselves up to fail by:

  • setting unrealistic goals or expectations;
  • starting a new journey without a map or plan;
  • setting the bar too high;
  • pursuing goals that are not right for us right now;
  • not asking for help; or
  • expecting big change overnight.

Back to the good news, though: We now have space and opportunity to do the right things.

And for the New Year, just getting back to what you are supposed to be doing can be a big step in the right direction.

The best part? You have already figured all of this out at least once. You have thought through the process and decided what your positive choices are.  And you’re right!

You have examined yourself and your life. You have identified areas for positive improvement, and you have determined some steps that might help you get there.

Is it health related? Nutrition related? Relationship related? Productivity? Hobbies? It is a good choice to establish and also RE-establish these habits.

Start with just getting back on track, whatever that looks like to you.  Let’s leave the bad holiday habits behind. For me, it’s time to:

  • Get to bed on time;
  • Clear that kitchen counter, and put the snacks out of sight;
  • Take that January list I always recommend making, and add action dates to it;
  • Unsubscribe from advertising emails;
  • Work back in working out; and
  • Re-boot my morning meditation / routine / reading hours, etc.

And from my Facebook community:

  • Ignoring the answers to my question from my brother and his friends, they like to have fun at my expense.
  • For reals: my friends plan to add back in:
    • Lap swims, getting in the pool every day
    • Biking
    • An earlier bedtime
    • One hour a day for me – nails, hair, walk – just for me
    • Morning meditation
    • Spending time with and better supporting my spouse
    • Getting out of bed everyday at the same time. Waking up is consistent, getting up is inconsistent.
    • Nightly skin-care routine
  • (I know such amazing people)

As we look at habits and routines, we need to cut ourselves some slack, too, and remember that this loosening of habits and then reassessing and returning to them is a normal part of their life cycle. 

We can reassess and determine if the habit was good and we just fell away with implementation, or if we need to actually rethink or tweak the habit. This is that opportunity. 

I am so happy for us!  Know why?  WE KNOW HOW TO DO THIS!  We know what to do.

We know what healthy habits are, and how to re-establish them.

We know how to be productive, we just need to get back to it!

We know how to be good to ourselves, so let’s be good!

This year, let’s start the year with returning to what we know.  How about we review our good habits that may have gotten a little lax over the last few months?  Let’s start the year strong, with realistic expectations to build a strong foundation, and then climb from there!

Ask Yourself: 2024 and 2025, Do? Learn? Grow?

I just sat down in my office to write this content, and the first quote I see says
“Be an encourager. The world has enough critics already.”

Truth! And I love that because I’m always trying to be an encourager, but especially today. This article and episode will drop at the very end of 2024. This is an excellent opportunity to reflect on 2024 and set intentions as we look ahead to 2025, to look forward and step confidently into the new year.

As we review and preview, I suggest asking yourself a couple of questions. They woke me up this morning around 2 am, and I liked them, so I am sharing them!

Here they are:

  • What did you DO this year?
  • What did you LEARN this year? And,
  • How did you GROW this year?

Here is how this process looked for me, consider how it will look for you.

Looking back at what I did this year, I found it helpful to start with my calendar. That gave me, at least in broad strokes, what I accomplished in 2024.

  • In January, I gave 9 presentations, the most I have ever given in one month. I started the year strong, and met and shared organization with many great people! I helped them to take care of their projects in 2024 and beyond.
  • Also in January, I started working on a project with my national association, NAPO (NAPO.net), as a Subject Matter Expert to create the Certified Professional Organizer Exam Prep Course. This was a great experience that continued until June, and it helped me get more involved in NAPO.
  • In February, I continued to teach and also had the first of 2 basal cell carcinomas removed. The surgery was more extensive than anyone expected so I hibernated for a few weeks to heal!
  • In March, a loved one had an emergent health issue that consumed a lot of time and energy. It is well managed now. My middle son started his third season with his theatre, and I attended the first of many shows for him this year.
  • In April, nothing specific stands out. I worked, I taught, I served my community through ministry and my service on my local Board of Education.
  • In May, my youngest son finished his second year of college and moved home. We traveled to Baltimore with the grandparents and attended my niece’s wedding, and I arrived home in time to deliver the commencement speech for the 8th Grade Graduation in my role as Board of Education President.
  • In June, the NAPO SME work completed – woot woot!! Some health issues for loved ones kept us occupied. I attended a conference for Board of Education Presidents.
  • In July, we spent a week in Michigan. We visited people and people visited us.
  • In August, we moved son #3 back to college to his first apartment. I had the second basal cell carcinoma removed. We flew to Massachusetts and New Hampshire to what has become our favorite music event of the year. I pursued testing for an ADHD diagnosis.
  • In September, I continued to heal from my surgery. I presented at a conference, and also attended my first conference with the Institute for Challenging Disorganization in Minnesota.
  • In October, I celebrated my birthday. Fall is my favorite. I received my ADHD diagnosis, and also dealt with a GI infection that laid me flat for a few weeks.
  • In November, I attended my annual Illinois Association of School Boards conference and then we celebrated Thanksgiving with family.
  • And here we are in December! Advent, the holidays, service in my community, so much music, so much family time.

Thanks for listening to my re-cap, I was glad to work through that as I wrote.

More importantly, what does YOUR DONE list look like? It is easy to wonder where on earth the time went. And some days, when we might be feeling down or being hard on ourself, it would be easy to say that you didn’t accomplish anything or at least not much this year, and this is where I will gently challenge you. If you need to compile your own list of accomplishments, start with your calendar. Or your email “Sent” folder! I was proud of myself as I wrote down my accomplishments this morning. I did more than I thought I did, and that shift to a clearer perspective was helpful for me.

What does YOUR DONE list look like? We start with What Did We DO? Then we move on to What did we LEARN? What did you learn in 2024?

For me, in the midst of the milestones, I learned a lot, too. I met new people. I worked with new and existing clients on in-person organizing and also coaching. I learned more about coaching to be a better coach.

I attended concerts. LOTS of concerts, and immersed myself in the music of independent artists that we follow. I learned new music myself, for performance sake. I always appreciate that professional challenge.

I prioritized my professional learning. I read books, attended conferences and earned dozens of continuing education hours to increase my skills and knowledge in organizing, productivity and coaching.

I certainly learned more about myself, through my own medical procedures, the medical challenges of loved ones, and pursuing my ADHD diagnosis. I learned even more patience, resilience and compassion.

There are specific topics that I learned about because I sought them out. Learning is seeking new information and incorporating it. Doing something with the learning, making it a part of us and our lives, making it meaningful.

What was that for you this year? What did you learn?

And all the doing and the learning leads to growth. I have grown this year. I have met awesome people and have helped others in big and small ways. I have expanded my knowledge, I have gained new skills and perspectives. I am better than I was one year ago.

So, we re-cap 2024. And then, we look to 2025. And we ask the same questions.

  • What do you want to DO this year?
  • What do you want to LEARN this year? And,
  • How do you want to GROW this year?

Let’s set those intentions for ourselves now! The looking-back at 2024 helps us to see more clearly as we set a course for 2025.

What do you want to DO in 2025? Do you want to travel? Get a new job or advance in your current role? Spend more time with family? Spend more time alone? Get fit? Relax? Write a novel? Read a novel?! What does that look like for you?

Personally, I already have some events on the calendar for 2025. We hope to head to Florida in February with family, I will attend a professional conference in March. May brings the graduation for both a niece and nephew in Michigan. May also brings the end of my elected term with the Board of Education, so I am imagining how I can continue to serve my community after that. I have presentations booked until November, 2025. And I am anxiously awaiting the touring schedules for the bands we follow, to put their local shows on my calendar!

What to you want to LEARN? Are there subject matters that you want to learn about? Other people you want to learn about? Do you want to learn more about yourself?

There are books I want to read. I own them already, I just need a habit and routine around reading them. I read voraciously, but I read fiction. I will make progress on my non-fiction reading list in 2025! That will help me learn and therefore grow. We do things, we learn new things and incorporate the new knowledge, and we grow. We can’t help but grow.

I google searched for a quote this morning, and I found two.

“You are the same today that you are going to be five years from now except for two things: the people with whom you associate and the books you read.”
― Charles Jones

“You are the books you read, the films you watch, the music you listen to, the people you meet, the dreams you have, the conversations you engage in. You are what you take from these. You are the sound of the ocean, the breath of fresh air, the brightest light and the darkest corner. You are a collective of every experience you have had in your life. You are every single second of every single day. So drown yourself in a sea of knowledge and existence. Let the words run through your veins and let the colors fill your mind until there is nothing left to do but explode. There are no wrong answers. Inspiration is everything. Sit back, relax, and take it all in. Now, go out and create something.” —Jac Vanek

Of course you’re going to grow. You’re going to incorporate those new things and do things in new ways that are uniquely your own. This week, look back and re-cap 2024, and look ahead with me to 2025. Let’s set our intentions. What do you want to DO in 2025? What do you want to LEARN? And how do you want to GROW?

On December 31, 2025, what do you want to be able to tell me about? A couple weeks ago when I talked about stress management, I asked you to consider what you want to do more of, and do it.

Do, Learn and Grow in 2025, and let’s work through it together. Feel free to drop me an email or private message me in my socials with your intentions. And I will hold space for you and your intentions for 2025. Maybe I’ll even check in in a few months, and see how you’re doing. I am wishing you the happiest and most joyful 2025. I can’t wait to interact more with you in 2025, that is definitely one of my intentions!

Stress Management: 2 Tools and A Great Question

Recently, I was asked to create a presentation to help people manage their stress and find work-life balance around the holidays.

Because that’s hard! I mean, let’s face it, Work Life Balance is difficult to find EVERY DAY. Yes, every day. And, especially when the calendar is fuller and expectations are even higher, like around the holidays.

Let’s just call it what it is. We can work towards Work-Life balance any day. We’re talking about this in December, but I could probably start this with “Finding Work-Life Balance in the New Year”, and while you could be busy then for different reasons, the strategies might still be the same!

Let’s get started. I want to talk at stress management. Because, like and in conjunction with life balance, this time of year and every day of the year is a good time to talk about how we can take better care of ourselves.

First, a couple of tools that you can use around the holidays and also every other day of the year. You can use them at work or home or on the train or in your car or as you fall asleep, or at a holiday event while you try to not overreact to your obnoxious uncle, or standing in line at a retailers or when you really just want to go home. The two tools are Square or Box Breathing and Progressive Muscle Relaxation.

I have talked about square or box breathing before (click here to check out that article), go to my website’s blog page and search for “breathe”, and I want to put it out there again today. Square breathing is when we breathe in for 4 counts, we hold that inhale for 4 counts, we exhale for 4 counts and then we hold the exhale for 4 counts.

That’s it. We can count it in our heads, or perhaps we do it while we listen to a favorite song.

In for 4, hold for 4, out for 4, hold for 4. Imagine the 4 sides of a square or box as you breathe. Try it in sets for 30 seconds then 60 seconds then 2 minutes. We can just do this for ourselves any time we can use a little break. I practice square breathing multiple times a day, and it makes a world of difference in how I feel and how I manage my stress.

And, Progressive Muscle Relaxation. From Healthline.com, Progressive muscle relaxation (PMR) is a form of therapy that involves tightening and relaxing your muscle groups, one at a time, in a specific pattern. The goal is to release tension from your muscles, while helping you recognize what that tension feels like. Again, that was from Healthline.com.

This is a great technique to help us relax and relieve tension, but it is also really helpful for us to identify what stress feels like and where we personally hold stress in our body. There are many places that people commonly hold stress. Head and forehead, jaw, neck, shoulders, back, arms and clenched fists. And more.

So, How to:

Starting at our feet and toes and then working up our body, we squeeze our muscle groups for a count of 5 and then fully release the squeeze, all while breathing nice and deep and taking a few breaths between muscle groups. So as we slowly work up through our feet and then ankles and calves and knees and thighs and hips and on up our body, we may realize there’s an area that’s fully clenched all the time, like our shoulders or our fists or our jaw, and this awareness can help us to release that tension and also identify it quicker next time. You can do this any time you’re feeling stressed or anxious, and it is especially great to help you fall asleep.

And now for the Great question I mentioned in the title.

A trusted counselor recently suggested a strategy to help with instances when my anxiety or my ADHD start to run the show. And it really resonated with me. It is so simple. When I am feeling anxiety or stress, we can’t just eliminate those feelings. We can use tools like Square breathing and progressive muscle relaxation to help us cope. And he suggested, to help me manage anxiety and stress, to figure out what I like to do and do more of it.

Of course, I mean we know that, right? But I needed to hear it. And perhaps you need to hear it, too. Find out what you like to do and do more of it. Yep, I love that.

This a next level stress management, time management and productivity strategy, right?

Family members decided for themselves that they wanted to do more of the things that bring them joy. Amazing, right? And they realized that their pets bring them joy so they adopted a dog. And I look forward to meeting her. But they said “Let’s do more things that bring us joy”, and dogs bring us joy, so let’s get a dog.

Again, seems incredibly simple and profound. And I needed to hear it. And perhaps you do do, too. Figure out what we like to do, and do more of it. This isn’t even stress management advice, this is just advice for life.

We can start with the easy things that the world tells us to try, like a hot bath, a glass of wine, a facial or massage, a work out, whatever that looks like for you. But the possibilities are truly endless.

When he asked me the question “What Do You Like To Do?”, my first answer was music. In addition to being a certified professional organizer and organizational coach, I am a professional and liturgical musician. So I can consider how to do it more. On my own, or with my choir. This time of year, I can sign up for more Masses at church for Advent. I can set up my music stand in my office and practice vocally or playing my flute or ukulele more often.

We also follow and support a number of independent musicians and I’d like to do more of that. I can listen to more music. I can set myself up to succeed by creating more Spotify playlists that capitalize on the musicians I want to hear more of, or make lists of songs that will calm me down or energize me. And while I love Christmas music, and I do, I also keep listening to the bands I love even this time of year because that makes me happy, too. And I can look ahead to the tour schedules for our favorite bands, and put upcoming shows on my calendar, to continue to do more of what we like to do.

To manage stress and just live better, find out what you like to do and do more of it.

Other things on my list were being with family, reading, watching movies (theatre or streaming), hiking / being outside, cooking and baking, and travel. My challenge for now and for 2025 is to do more of those things.

On the other side of that, identify what you don’t want to do and do less of it.

My example of this is meal planning. A year ago, I identified that I wanted to eat well and cook my own food for health and budgeting reasons, and because I really like to cook. BUT I don’t want to cook as much, especially during the week. So, cooking on weekdays was something I wanted to do less of. Cooking brings me joy, and so do calmer and weeknights, so I make a point to batch cook on the weekends but not weeknights.

What do you like to do? Find what you like and do more of it. And find what you don’t like, and do less of it. There is beauty in the simplicity.

Use these stress management tools this week, if you need them, and ask yourself the great question, What Do I Like To Do? And do more of it!

He Said “I Think This Is A Change I Can Make”

I recently attended the Joint Annual Conference for the Illinois Associations of School Boards, School Business Officials and School Administrators. This was my 8th time attending, for my 8th year as an elected Board of Education Member and more recently Board President. And I always learn so much. I could write for days and days about all the things that I’ve learned. All of the learning applies to Education, obviously. And much of it applies to the rest of life, too.

At one of the keynote sessions, we heard from David Horsager. He’s an author, public speaker, researcher, and all around amazing person. He was phenomenal. I had the opportunity to work through his Trust Edge workshop a few years ago at the same conference, and this time we learned from him live!

And yes, I now have an autographed copy of his newest book, “Trust Matters More Than Ever”. But I digress.

I am NOT going to distill all that he talked about in his 70 minute presentation in today’s article or podcast. I will read the book, though, and share out more specifically soon.

He shared an anecdote when he was talking about Consistency in Leadership, though, and it really resonated with me in terms of habits and routines.

He mentioned that this time last year his doctor told him that if he wanted to be around to see his children grow up, he needed to make some changes. He shared that information at one of his presentations at the time, and after the presentation while he was chatting with 2 attendees, they mentioned that they chose to not drink their calories. That was a simple strategy this couple used to eat and drink healthier. And David shared that as he reflected on that idea, he said to himself “I think this is a change I can make.”

“I think this is a change I can make.“

“I think this is a change I can make.”

This is not an article or episode about calories. It’s an article or episode about making positive change.

Let me make a few assertions, as we get started:

  • There are areas where you and I could use some improvement.
  • Change needs to happen.
  • Change CAN happen.
  • You and I are capable of making positive change.

David shared that he realized he didn’t have to take big actions to make change, that he could do it in small pieces instead. And, so can we.

“I think this is a change I can make.”

Exploring and finding those changes we can make to make positive improvement seems more doable, manageable, applicable.

So, what does that look like for you and me?

  • We reflect on our life and situation.
  • We identify areas for improvement.
  • We set our goals.
  • And we determine the steps we need to take, to move us from where we are today to where we want to be.
  • And then we take those steps.

“I think this is a change I can make.”

David shared this example: As an international professional speaker, he takes hundreds of flights a year. His simple change to make was to switch from full sugar soda on the flights to diet sodas. He didn’t give up every beverage every day, he changed his choices just on airplanes. That felt like a simple switch, a change he could make. He identified the situation where he could employ this, and he started making small changes, which he reported, yielded big results over time.

Asking again, what does that look like for us?

It looks like a “Do This” instead of “Do That.”

Not changing the habit in general, just tweaking it. If you and I need to make a change, an example could be “No red meat” (and actually that is a change I have been advised to make). I’m not going to stop eating, or stop eating out, or stop cooking, I will just not choose red meat.

Or, we could walk instead of driving a few blocks to a destination.

Or, I can go to bed at the same time, but add in 10 minutes of meditation and reading a good book instead of doom scrolling so I fall asleep sooner and get better rest.

“I think this is a change I can make.”

If you’re reading this instead of listening, it sounds like “Hmm, I could do that. That’s something I could do.” As in, it doesn’t have to be hard. Doable, specific. We have looked at SMART Goals, right? Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, Time Specific.

“I think this is a change I can make.”

Doesn’t that feel positive and hopeful and reasonable and empowering? It keeps coming back to me in my mind. We can identify something small we can do to make progress, and then we do it.

My priest was talking about this in Mass, too. That the Kingdom of God is many things. And it is also in the small and consistent actions every day. Yes, it may be big and sweeping actions, but it’s also showing small kindnesses every day, or making time for prayer every day. Making positive change looks like doing little things consistently.

And here is my last point,

When I started writing this article, it seemed like a New Year’s or January article and message. I was very passionate about it so I wanted to write it all down, but I almost didn’t share it this week. However, the message also needs to be – We don’t have to wait. When we figure out that we need to make a change, and then also figure out what that change is that we can make, we don’t have to wait. And, I decided I didn’t want to wait to share this because any day, any moment is a good time to make a positive change.

We don’t have to wait. You don’t have to wait for January, or when you get home from that trip, or for the perfect situation to arrive, or until the planets align. We can choose small, simple changes and start right now, making positive change. I wanted to share this with you and start thinking about it for myself, because I’m never going to ask you guys to do something that I haven’t also thought of or tried, because that is the way this works.

We reflect, identify areas of improvement, determine where we want to go and how to get there, and then we make the changes we can make that move us toward that goal.

I think that is a change I can make.