Category: Coaching

Distraction: The State of Being and The Thing That Distracts

February is National Time Management Month. My goal to dig deeper into Time Management strategies this month means I am also publishing all new content. Whew!

And that means that, even though I tend towards distractibility, I need to manage myself and my attention if I am going to continue to produce content and services efficiently in the time frame I intend for it.

Cue, today’s topic: Distraction. Reflecting on “Distraction”, I realize this is another instance of ‘Words Matter’. Distraction can be a state of being distracted, and also the thing that causes us to be distracted, that thing that prevents us from giving full attention to something else.

Distraction IRL (My own personal reflection today):

It is ironic to me that I was managing distractions as I wrote this article.

What I WANTED to focus on is writing the article. However, my attention was being pulled elsewhere. For example:

  • My morning had not gone as planned, not by a long shot.
  • My Monday morning to-do list was long (as always!) and ideas were popping like popcorn in my brain.
  • My first appointment for the day needed to be rescheduled as the fellow participant was feeling poorly.
  • My second appointment started late and therefore ended late as well.
  • A family member in another state was having a minor health issue RIGHT NOW that I hope stays minor and I was waiting for news.
  • My husband had a planned day off AND was sick, so worry for him is certainly a distraction.
  • My window was open as it is unseasonably pleasant here in Chicago this week (and I want fresh air to clear out the germs), and my neighborhood was bustling with activity.
  • And then, well, clients texting me and notifications on my computer screen and occasional phone calls, etc!

Oh.
My.
Goodness!

And I just wanted to finish this article, and do a good job on it, and then move on to the other 14 dozen things I need to do today and this week.

Ugh.

So, let’s pick this example of distraction apart, learn from it and use some tools to make it better! The question comes down to, How to manage distractions or at least get back on track more quickly when distractions happen?

  • First, we need to understand that distractions will occur. We will distracted sometimes! And that’s ok.
  • In addition to acknowledging that distractions occur, we need to actively plan for distractions.
  • And we need to get good about coming back to productivity from distraction.
    • To circumvent distraction at the root, it helps to know what is and is NOT important to us. Recently, I shared the idea of the Eisenhower Box in my newsletter and podcast to help us determine our high priority activities.
    • Relatedly, I have also recently discussed Knowing Our Focus Areas and sticking with them!
    • Routines and To-Do Lists
    • And obviously, when scheduling, we need to leave extra time to get things done on deadlines.
  • Look at your interactions with others, and ask: With what other people are you distractible?
    • For example, I am a verbal processor and I find that when I am with other verbal processors / extremely chatty people, I can easily get distracted.
    • And for a very long time, I believed distractions were just a part of parenting small children and to some extent, they are. But I don’t mind so much now, since what could be more important than focusing on our family? My family, my sons still win – meaning, I welcome distraction by them – even though they are grown, because they’re most important. And I can get back on track when the distraction has passed.
  • Look at other situations in your life and where you get distracted.
    • For example, we all may get distracted by external drama and the internal processing of it. Meaning, when things are going on in the world around me, even if I limit the external stimuli or reminders, my head and my heart still know and are still processing. This is good awareness to have if I find myself wandering off task.
  • In coaching terms, I have spent a lot of time working on self awareness around my own distraction this week! I thought perhaps I was distracted by visuals in my own home / office environment, as in emails, the little red circle on my phone screen, etc., but what is truly the root of that is the “notification” part of those visuals. The notification that someone might need me to respond quickly, or that I may need to do something to act on the notification. The perceived urgency and possible importance of the notification distracts me!
    • Wow. Mind blown by that one. The belief that I never have enough time to do what needs done and therefore the perceived need to multi-task to get it all done.
  • Understand your Learning Styles and Processing Modality.
    • The 4 most common Learning / Processing styles are auditory (hearing), verbal (speaking), visual (seeing), and kinesthetic (doing).
    • I am easily distracted by noise. AND I can use noise, like white noise or my calm app for the sound of ocean waves or forest rain to help me get back on track.
    • I am distracted visually by visual clutter or unexpected movement, AND I can use a calm visual or a mandala to help me refocus after being distracted.
    • So, what distracts you? And what can bring you back from distraction?
  • Knowing our Learning Styles can help us strategize reminders to bring us back from distraction. For example, I am more likely to respond to an auditory reminder. So I use timers and alarms ALL THE TIME to keep me on track. I use timers to remind me to do something (so actively distracting me from what is in front of me, on purpose!) but also as an opportunity to check in and make sure I haven’t gotten too far off track, and to recommit if I have!
  • What times of day are you more distractible? Personally, I am aware that I get fatigued late afternoon and again in the late evening, therefore my focus wanders and my productivity is more susceptible to being derailed by distractions. I can choose to group and complete several small and simple tasks during those times, or take extra breaks and head to bed as appropriate!

Like so many things in terms of Better Time Management, the challenge and even the solutions to the challenges all start with awareness. We need to be aware of distractions, so please ask yourself some of the questions I just posed! But also be aware of just how many tools and strategies there are to bring us back from distraction to focus and productivity!

Better Communications to Maximize Moments

Communications: Scripted and Unscripted

“I propose: Getting clear on your own communications and expectations can save you time and lessen aggravation! Less follow-up, less drama, fewer mistakes!”

February is Time Management Month and I promised via my newsletter we would dig a little deeper into matters of Time Management. This week I want to talk about keeping our communications on track to maximize our time management.

I am a podcaster now. (I love saying that!) Last week, I taught a 4 hour time management class for a training program at a local community college, and one of the participants actually asked how to write for and start a podcast! So I shared a few ideas.

And here is the thing – and perhaps you have noticed, if you are a regular listener – I write my notes for every episode.

Mostly.

I want to make sure I cover what I want to cover, and I don’t really trust myself to remember it all in the moment, or under pressure of recording (not that there is much pressure). But I want to remember, so I write most of my script.

Equally important, though, are the unscripted moments. The off-the-cuff moments.

For example, in addition to being a certified professional organizer, I am also a professional musician. And I can perform hundreds of songs without music in front of me. But I prefer to see the music in front of me, just in case. Scripted, right? However, even though I have not written the song, I can put my own stamp on it in the performance, my personal interpretation. Unscripted.

Let me be clear. I am my own life-long coaching and organizing project! Organizing comes as easy as breathing to me, as do coaching topics, but I will forever be a work in progress. And Communications are ever evolving for me!

My actor son and I were discussing that so many plot lines for tv/movies/plays evolve around drama created by poor communications. We talked about Shakespeare to modern day, but it’s true. How much drama is created when we don’t communicate clearly, we jump to conclusions, we make assumptions, or things just don’t go as planned?

I propose: Getting clear on your own communications and expectations can save you time and lessen aggravation! Less follow-up, less drama, fewer mistakes!

I am suggesting a combination of Scripted and Unscripted communications strategies.

How do we script our communications? But also keep them unscripted enough to remain meaningful and personal?

Here’s an example of the combination of Scripted and Unscripted:

When I was in college in Ohio, I would call my parents in Michigan on Sunday nights. This was our arrangement. And since we did not yet have email or texting, that was the one certain time that we would communicate in a week. And I used to keep a note of things / events / achievements I wanted to tell them about. Of course we also would chat about anything and everything else, too, but I had a note so I didn’t forget. And of course, I have caught grief about this habit from my siblings over the years as being over-organized, but that is not news. And I digress.

Another example of the combination of scripted and unscripted (sort of):

I prefer in-person and face to face communications over talking on the telephone. So unless I’m just checking in with a family member, I usually have at least some reason to make a phone call and therefore a mental agenda (probably just a point or two) for the call. Because, to manage our time, we can also manage our conversations. We can manage ourselves and be as clear as possible about expectations and time limits AND still listen closely and let the conversation evolve naturally.

I will often manage a phone call, especially about professional matters like my business or school board work like I would run a meeting, with an appointed start time, an agreed-upon goal and length of call, and a summary and statement of next steps at the end.

That example of scripted and unscripted communications leads me to Boundaries and Best Practices, all of which we set for ourselves.

Another story from childhood regarding boundaries (which I am constantly working on) or etiquette:

Growing up, we had etiquette rules for using the family home phone. We weren’t supposed to make or receive calls after 9:30 at night because it was rude to bother others at bedtime. Our friends knew not to call after 9:30. Same thing for morning phone calls. No calls before 8 am or so. Which is funny, as these are my dad’s rules and he sometimes calls me now long before 8 am my time (he lives in a different time zone). And don’t worry, he won’t be offended that I brought this up, he doesn’t do technology and he certainly doesn’t listen to podcasts. More importantly, I still have those guidelines in my head so I don’t make or take calls and texts extra early or late at night.

What I can do, to script, is to model the behavior I prefer.

  • I will not send a text or make a call outside what might be deemed polite time.
  • I do not typically answer work related calls, texts or emails on a weekend.
  • In some relationships like a coaching relationship, I ask others for their preferred method of communications. Perhaps someone will some day ask me the same!
  • I at least initiate correspondence in my chosen method.

Let’s go back to college and Speech 101: In communications we have the sender, the message and language, the method of communication, the message and language received by the receiver and then feedback. WE need to keep all of those components in mind if we’re going to do a good job!

Here are ways that communication can go awry:

  • “You know what they say…” No, perhaps I do not. Please tell me, specifically.
  • “It goes without saying.” No, no it does not. Say it anyway. I am a good communicator, but I really need to be clear on what message you are sending, and I am not a mind reader.
  • “Well, you know…” No, No I don’t know. Please be more specific.
  • “What do you think they meant by that?” In the context of someone else’s statement. For me, I think they meant what they said, and if they didn’t, I’m not going to make things worse by guessing, extrapolating or theorizing about how or what someone else communicated.

Good communications save time when we are clear with what we are saying and what we are hearing. I heard a great question listening to a podcast today – If someone asks you a question and you’re unclear about what they are asking, ask them to “Please ask the question in a different way.” (The Mind Your Business Podcast with James Wedmore.) It takes into consideration jargon and semantics. And I often check in with people in conversation – “did I fully answer the question you were asking?“

What have we learned?

  • Get clear on your communications to save yourself time later!
  • Have a Script, at least a little, around managing your communications, but be flexible enough to embrace unscripted as well.
  • Establish your own communication boundaries and be ready to lead by example
  • Check in regularly with others regarding your own communications. And,
  • In addition, on your various communications channels, factor these check-ins to your routines, to ensure two way communication is happening.

Where can you improve communications this week with this new awareness?

The Word “Overwhelm” Is Not Specific Enough

Words matter. And there are so many possibilities! However,

In presentations, I used to say that “if I had a nickel for every time someone said to me ‘I’m so overwhelmed, I don’t know what to do!’, I would have a lot of nickels.” And I would.

But I am increasingly annoyed with the word “overwhelm”. Not with the people who say it, of course, but with the word itself. It’s too vague. The word has become so broad and ubiquitous, it has lost meaning. In addition, all of the ways the word is used have negative connotations. (And for the purpose of today’s article, we’re discussing “Overwhelm” as not a momentary panic but a longer term state of being.)

Google says overwhelm means “to bury or drown beneath a huge mass; to defeat completely; and to give too much of a thing to (someone); inundate.” Maybe it’s positive, like when we are overwhelmed with someone’s generosity or when our team victoriously overwhelms another team, but “overwhelmed” is overwhelmingly negative.

“Whelm” has somewhat negative connotations, too: “verb: engulf, submerge, or bury; or noun: an act or instance of flowing or heaping up abundantly; a surge.”

Ironically, even “Underwhelm”, the seeming opposite of “overwhelm”, still has negative connotations, “fail to impress or make a positive impact on (someone); disappoint.”

There is no middle ground.

In sharing this article idea with my accountability partner last week, she said “Using ‘overwhelm’ sets us up [in a negative] mindset”. It ends up being an excuse, a blanket statement, a catchall phrase. And with such subjective, negative, vague and undefined meaning, it’s often difficult to see a way out of the feeling.

Saying you’re “overwhelmed” can be a starting point, but it is NOT the answer to the problem. And while there is no judgement about saying we’re overwhelmed, it is not some place that we want to STAY!

In coaching, change and progress start with awareness. This week, let me propose that we work a little harder and come up with different words for our feelings of overwhelm so that we can start to make things better. When someone tells me they’re overwhelmed, I ask if we can explore that a bit and get more specific. For example, if you’re overwhelmed, you may be more specifically or also feeling:

  • confused,
  • overstimulated,
  • unclear,
  • discouraged,
  • frustrated,
  • despondent,
  • that’s there’s just too much to do (inundated),
  • unprepared,
  • vulnerable,
  • unsure,
  • overscheduled,
  • incompetent,
  • hopeless, or
  • helpless / powerless.

Consider, too, that you and I may feel multiple emotions, and even conflicting emotions concurrently. Of course we do, we are humans after all. We are fabulous and complex creatures, capable of feeling many emotions at the same time! We can feel both excited about a new work opportunity and also terrified of change! OR proud of the people our children have grown to be and also sad because we miss them!

(Or, as I read in a fellow bloggers post just this morning, “Sticking to your guns and compromise are not opposites. They’re both important tools. Both tools will need to be used on the path to your desired future. Sometimes at the same time.” (https://www.gabethebassplayer.com/blog/tools-for-the-path-ahead))

You also may be feeling something REALLY STRONGLY, and the strength is what is engulfing you.

And, when we’re feeling overwhelmed, we may also or actually be tired, sad, ill, depressed, grieving, etc. And a situation that would not overwhelm us on any other day overwhelms us today. Just the other day, I spoke with a client who said she was feeling overwhelmed and then realized that “on any given day, [her] situation would not feel overwhelming but [she] hasn’t slept well the last few days and her emotional reserves for dealing with life are just low right now.”

So, let’s look at this.

There are so many more specific and therefore useful words out there! When we drill down and get more specific, then we can identity the actual problem and then start working on solutions. Because, with unspecific feelings or measures, how do you ever know when you’re done feeling overwhelmed? “Overwhelmed” needs a time limit!

Let’s move out of OverWhelm and on to something better!

Let’s get more specific about how and what we are feeling so we gain some insight in how to start to make life better. Ask yourself:

  • What does “Overwhelm” mean to you?
  • What else are you working on or dealing with right now?
  • Where do you feel “overwhelm”, and what does it feel like? What is your body telling you? (a great question from my coach Laine!)
  • For example, my stress and therefore my overwhelm shows up in my shoulders and in migraine headaches.
  • Are you struggling to take a deep breath? Are you tired before you even begin a task?
  • These are all questions that can help you gain insight into what you are really feeling.

And, most importantly, what tools are you using to handle the feelings of overwhelm?

  • First step is awareness. Take a few minutes and ask yourself those questions about what you’re really feeling!
  • What are some of our other available tools in the moment!
    • Call your therapist, your friend, your coach!
    • Meditate or do some deep breathing;
    • Take a “nature break” and take care of actual physical needs like hunger and thirst (my hiking guide Kevin used that term first and I kept it!);
    • On a larger scale, make sure you’re managing sleep, nutrition, exercise., etc.
    • Look outside of your own situation and do something kind for someone else.

Let’s dig a little deeper this week and get more specific with the root of our overwhelm. And empowered with that awareness, we can start to conquer those feeling and move toward something better!

“What’s The Plan?” (I just need to know there is one.)

What’s your plan for 2023?

In my Time Management and Productivity Presentations, I talk A LOT about planning. Two quotes I share in those presentations are:

  • “By failing to plan, you are preparing to fail”.  (Ben Franklin)

    And
  • “In preparing for battle I have always found that plans are useless but planning is indispensable.” (Dwight D. Eisenhower)

In this quote from Dwight D. Eisenhower, he uses “plan” and “planning” as both nouns and verbs. For today’s purposes, “a plan”, the noun, is “a detailed proposal for doing or achieving something” (per google) or “a set of actions that are intended to achieve a specific aim” (per Cambridge Dictionary).

Considering who I am, it is no surprise that I love a good plan.

Why do I love a good plan?

A good plan orders our steps. It calms our fears, knowing that there is a plan. It motivates us and keeps us on track. A good plan is not a perfect plan. A good plan is flexible and should be able to – sometimes expected to – change and evolve. And even if a plan may be subject to change, it’s still vitally important to go through the planning process.

For example:

When I text my clients to confirm our appointments, I often ask “What on the agenda?”

Here’s the thing – I ask this question many times a week. I ask my clients about the plan, but… I don’t actually need to know the plan until I arrive for our appointment.

This question is not for me, or for my benefit, it’s for my client. In organizing, I am the expert about organizing but my client is the expert about themselves and their situation.

If you’re my client and you have a plan, I can make some assumptions.

  • Awareness: I can assume you have have the necessary list of possible projects or life situations you would like to improve or accomplish.
  • Prioritizing: I can also assume that you have thought about the priority for these projects and situations.
  • Ownership and Agency: I can assume you have reviewed the list and the priorities and decided on what task or project or objective we should work on that will help you the most today.
  • Flexibility: We can always add to or subtract from the plan, and I can also help you with any of these steps as we work together, but the assumptions remain.

I was chatting with my son in the kitchen yesterday. I take him back to college for his second semester this coming weekend and I asked him if there was a plan for moving back in.

And then I leaned over to him and whispered “I don’t actually need to know the plan right now.” And he knew that, too.

Why?

Because this process, this moving-back-in event, is not my process or my event. It is his process. I will always help, of course. I can help him craft the plan, I will support his plan and implementation, I will do whatever he needs me to do. BUT, the plan is not my plan. It’s his plan. He is super smart, he is excellent at problem solving and HE knows his needs at college far better than I do. Essentially, a week before we hit the road, I only want to know that he is thinking about the process. I don’t need to know the plan, and it’s likely to change in the next few days anyway. I just need to know that there is a plan.

Awareness. Priorities. Ownership and Agency. Flexibility.

So, what’s your plan for 2023? I don’t need to know what the plan is, but for your sake, I really – for you – want to know that you have a plan.

And if you would like to craft that plan, and would like a listening ear and partner in the process, drop me an email at colleen@peaceofmindpo.com and let’s talk about organizational and productivity coaching in 2023.

Recombobulate With Routines and To-Do Lists

Recombobulate. Is that even a word?

Ever feel discombobulated? A little off, a bit scattered? Me, too. For example, just today.

We run a humidifier all winter. It’s great for our health, and the added bonus is the white noise it makes that helps me sleep better. I woke up long before my alarm to the sound of silence. And not just the lack of white noise, I mean SILENCE.

According to the electric company service text I received at 3-ish am, we had a power outage due to a damaged line in our area. So… SILENCE. No white noise, no furnace. I’m unclear whether it was the chill or the silence that woke me, but something surely did.

And we still needed to get ready for work, take candlelight showers (hooray, new large hot water tank!), make instant coffee (thank you gas stove and Starbuck’s Via packets), and get the cars out of the garage together since the opener won’t open without power.

First world problems, I know. Truly, no major crisis. Sounds like an adventure, I suppose, but I was also wondering how I was going to coach today with no wi-fi and a slowly draining laptop battery. Thankfully – hooray! – the power returned just before my first virtual meeting so I was back in business and didn’t have to set up camp at a local coffee shop. But the whole experience just made the rest of the day feel… off. Weird. Unsettled.

Which makes me more grateful than ever for my Routines and To-Do lists.

When the power came back and as I worked to gather my thoughts and get back on track with such a strange start to my day, I made the conscious decision to check in on my routine tasks (that apparently require electricity!) and make sure that, even though the day had started bumpy, I had completed all of the routine tasks that keep my day and week running smoothly:

  • Made my healthy smoothie;
  • started laundry;
  • checked the charge on all my tech items; and
  • put my car back in the garage, cleaned it out and repacked my work gear for the work week.

The routine tasks were completed at NOT routine times, but I was grateful to know exactly what I needed to do to keep my day and week on track.

Then, after the routine tasks that keep life moving were completed, I returned to my To-Do list for the day.

My consistent, reliable and drama-free To-Do list, always available and waiting patiently for me to act. And since yesterday’s Colleen had put it together and her day had not started out so bizarre, the plan and paths were clear. And all day long, when I was feeling discombobulated and found my focus and energy wandering, I turned again to my To-Do list to get back on track.

The moral of the story? Spend some time today and this week, hopefully in times that you are NOT already feeling discombobulated or a little scattered, looking at how your current routines and to-do lists can help you stress less, get back on track when you veer off course and stay on track to get things done with more ease.

Find Your Focus Areas!

(Want to watch me share this article? Click here for a FB live: https://www.facebook.com/MColleenKlimczakCPO/videos/812165770032446)

It always delights me when someone quotes me back to me! At a recent meeting, a friend mentioned that her brother had attended one of my Stress Management presentations. Of course, she also mentioned that she asked him to do something and he said “No, that isn’t in my Focus Areas”! (No names are mentioned, for anonymity!)

In my Stress Management Presentations, I recommend identifying and then sticking with your Focus Areas.

The idea is to identify what is important to you, and subsequently, what is NOT important to you. And once you know what is important to you – what is a high priority for you – intentionally spend your time and energy and resources on the high priority areas of your life.

Being intentional on how we spend our resources is important when it comes to getting things done, decreasing stress and increasing feelings of accomplishment and satisfaction.

Reviewing my notes, I realize that Focus Areas come up a lot for me. For example:

  • When writing an agenda for a board meeting – “What is important? What do we have to make sure to talk about?”
  • EVERY WEEK when I check in with my 2 accountability partners, I report using my Focus Areas as writing prompts.
  • In a recent conversation about the lingering effects of lock down and the pandemic, as in, “even when in lockdown for months in my home, I still didn’t want to work on jigsaw puzzles or knit a blanket.”
  • Even in casual conversations with my son. As in “Mom, you should watch this entire YouTube series on conspiracy theories.”
    • “Um, no. No, I should not.” Binge watching anything, especially something on conspiracy theories, is NOT in my Focus Areas.

What is important to you? What are your Focus Areas? If you’re unclear on what your Focus Areas are, start by checking three places: Your bank account, your calendar and your texting history. “What is important to you” is what you spend your resources on. Resources like time, money and energy.

Here’s the other side of that statement, though. Are you spending your resources on the areas of your life that you WANT to be important to you? Meaning, do you feel like building your business is important to you, but upon review of your resources, you aren’t spending a lot of energy on that endeavor? Or family or relationships or faith, etc.? As I plan my work today, I use my focus areas to determine what I DO and DO NOT want to spend my time on.

OK, so my Focus Areas are:

  • Service and Faith: School Board Work, Community Work, Ministries at church including Choir, Cantoring and Baptismal Prep
  • Home / Family: First thing first, my husband and sons. Then family and friends. And “Home” is the care and nurturing of home, cleaning, cooking, projects, holidays, etc.
  • Personal / Wellness
  • Educate Me: educational pursuits, learning new skills, reading non-fiction, learning new music.
  • My Company. I have subcategories, or business specific focus areas, too. They are Coaching, Clients, Presentations, Marketing and Business Specific.

What might your Focus Areas be? Career, Family, Health, Hobbies or a specific interest, Adventures, Friends, Money, Spiritual Needs, Personal Growth, Physical Fitness, etc..

A caveat: Our Focus Areas are an internal choice. A quick way to identify what might NOT be one of your Focus Areas is any time the idea comes from outside of you and is accompanied by a Should. As in almost ALL ADVERTISING! or “Wow, you should totally get a tattoo and run off to South America if you want to live a fulfilled life like me.” Huh? Um, no, thanks.

Additionally, our Focus Areas can change and evolve over time, just like we do as humans.

Knowing what our Focus Areas are helps us to make good decisions on how to spend our resources. They also give us a rubric for deciding on how to NOT spend our resources. Even if it means we respond to a request with “No, I am not willing to do that, it is not important to me, or part of my Focus Areas”!

take a breath and prepare

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Take a breath.

Take a breath to recover AND also to prepare.

September is National Preparedness Month, www.Ready.gov.

Daily, it seems, I encourage others (and remind myself) to take a breath. To recover from an upset, to make space for peace, or perhaps to ground or center ourselves. Maybe to simply take a moment to relax.

Just last evening, I walked a class of students through square breathing during a Stress Management class at the local community college. Deep breaths won’t eliminate our stressors, of course, but they can certainly help us manage better whatever the day may send our way.

Fun fact, in addition to professional organizing and coaching, I am also a professional liturgical musician as a cantor and a flutist.

A recent Sunday, I was reminded that, in addition to taking a breath to recover from an exhale, we also take a breath to prepare for what is coming.

In music, phrasing is important. A misplaced breath can cut short a note, make a sentence awkward or leave a whole phrase weak and unsupported. In liturgical music, the songs are often sloooooowwwww and the phrasing is looooonnnnnggggg. So the trick becomes finding opportunities to take extra breaths unnoticed to prepare for those long notes.

WE tend to be more impressed when someone can hold those big crescendos at the end of a song for a splashy and impressive finish. But I tend to listen for and appreciate the long and sustained and supported phrasing throughout the song.

Another fun fact, I sing at 8 am Mass. I need to warm up first thing in the morning to hit the high notes that early, sure, but the more important thing at 7 am is actually warming up my deep breathing and lung expansion to support and sustain my phrasing. That is less natural for me than hitting the high notes.

So, let’s bring this into organizing. We organize to clean up or recover from day-to-day life. But I would challenge us all to also look at what simple steps we can take this week and month to prepare for day-to-day life.

Using my own analogy, for example, I knew days ago that today was going to be a day with LONG PHRASING, so I did what I could to “take a breath to prepare” with planning my clothes and meals ahead of time and taking care of some work a day early. I am also making sure to provide a steady and firm breath (use of energy and focus) but NOT too strong so as to spend all the breath or energy or focus all at once.

So, take a breath with me and think about what we can do to better prepare for our days.

But, What If It Is Amazing?

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.” – Marianne Williamson

It is so easy to believe the bad stuff. And there is a lot of bad stuff sometimes, I know. Most of our brains, especially brains with ADHD, or anxiety or depression, trend negative.


I pride myself on having a positive inner narrative, of making sure I keep an eye on the good things inside and around me. I know I am a much happier person that way, much more productive, certainly more pleasant to be around, and with positivity and good energy to share. And I do.


Recently, I identified a place in my mind where Fear had snuck in. In one small area, I had let fear guide me, keeping me from moving ahead on a project. And when I identified fear in one place, I also realized that I had let the fear in one area leak quietly into other areas of my life as well.


Sneaky thing, fear.


Fear was keeping me stuck. I had fear of failing and of succeeding, at the same time. Go figure! Illogical, of course, but sometimes our thoughts are illogical!


I worked through some things over the last week, using tools I have from my coaching practice on my own challenges. The first step is awareness that there is a problem. I completed perspective work, I listened to my intuition, I checked in on my own needs and values. Yes, I coached me with my coaching tools!


And what came to me was, “Fear can be scary, but what if the other side of the fear is AMAZING??


What if this scary thing, when I get through it, results in something totally awesome? Fear wants us to believe that negative things can happen, and they can, but so can amazing things, in equal measure. The AMAZING results are actually more likely than the failure, in this instance.


So let’s ask…. (and we will stick with organizing, though you can swap that word out for anything else you want, too):


What are you afraid of?

  • Afraid of failing at organizing?
    • Every thing we try is a learning experience, there really isn’t failure there.
  • Afraid that organizing might be difficult?
    • Ok, but how much more difficult is it to struggle every day?
  • Afraid that organizing might be easy, and I’ll realize I should have done it years ago?
    • Ok, but why bother beating yourself up about the past? Show past-you some grace and enjoy today’s success.
  • Afraid that the path might not be easy or straightforward?
    • It won’t be, and that is ok, too.


Now that I am aware that Fear had me stuck, I am looking more to the AMAZING part.

Yes, I have work to do. I already had work to do, now I can do without being afraid, too.

Yes, things may get hard. But things were hard anyway, and now maybe they can also get easier!

Fear is scary, but join me on the other side of Fear for AMAZING!

Do What You Can and Forgive Yourself For What You Can’t.

I am really good at a lot of things. Not bragging, it’s true. We all have that list, the list of ways we excel.

Just this week for example:

  • You want a delicious dinner for 14? “Sign me up, I’m your girl!”
  • You need music for a first grade Christmas pageant? “Fun, let’s do it!”
  • You need someone to manage teams of teenagers at 2 different pancake breakfasts next week? “No problem, let’s do this!”

However, the other side of that piece of paper has a similar list of things I am not good at.

  • You need someone to shop for Christmas presents? (… crickets…)
  • You need me to lay floor tile for you? “Um, nope.”
  • You want hand-sewn Christmas gifts? “Not it!”

My point? My friend summed it up. I received a great text the other night:

“I loved your message for the holiday season. ‘Do what you can and forgive yourself for what you can’t’. You inspired me to put a dent in the holiday list tonight.”

I think my friend who texted was more profound with my words than I was, so I’m quoting her. We had been discussing sticking with our strengths and giving ourselves Grace during this super busy (especially for Moms) time of the year.

If you need to hear or read it one more time, friend:

Stick with your strengths and give yourself grace.

“Do what you can and forgive yourself for what you can’t.”

P.S. I wrote this as a weekly newsletter, and I liked the content so much I wanted to eternalize it as a blog article. Hope you liked it. Have a great day!

ADHD Awareness Month, for Yourself and For Others

October is ADHD Awareness Month, and I want to help us all be more aware!

ADHD (Attention Deficit / Hyperactivity Disorder) is a
“neurodevelopmental disorder affecting both children and adults around the globe.” (from adhdawarenessmonth.org)

In my roles as a certified professional organizer, organizing coach and
fellow human being, I interact with many people with ADHD.

And, So Do You.

My next few blog articles will help you get to know ADHD.  I hope to delve deeper, but for now, let’s work on the “Awareness” of ADHD Awareness Month.

Did you know?

·    At least 10% of the population have ADHD, and probably a much higher percentage go undiagnosed or unnoticed. In a classroom
of 20 students, at least 2 have ADHD. 

·   ADHD can run in families, but not always.

  • If you have 10 friends with ADHD, each of the 10 will show their ADHD in a different way. There is no one way that a person with ADHD will act.

  • “ADHD”, at least the “H” part, may be a misnomer as not everyone who has ADHD also has hyperactivity.  ADHD can also show up as inattention, poor focus, poor planning, and poor impulse control and emotional regulation, to list just a few symptoms.

     

  •  ADHD is diagnosed from 2.5 to 4 times more often in boys than it is in girls (https://www.healthline.com/health/adhd/adhd-symptoms-in-girls-and-boys).  HOWEVER, ADHD is spread evenly between genders.  The difference is the rate of diagnosis.  ADHD shows up differently in different people, and characteristics like being “emotional”, “daydreamy” or “flighty” can wrongly be attributed to girls just because they’re girls and not because they may have an underlying condition.

     

  • ADHD can be diagnosed at any age. ADHD is diagnosed for  children of school age, but also with the transition to high school or to college, when parental supports and involvement changes and no longer compensates for the student with ADHD.

     

     

  • In addition, ADHD was not understood when most of today’s adults were children and many adults will continue to live life undiagnosed.

     

     

  • Folks with ADHD don’t need to “just try harder”, or “apply themselves”, or have better discipline.  ADHD is caused by a chemical deficit in the brain and not by some character flaw.  Often individuals with ADHD work very hard to overcome the challenges that come with ADHD and have spent their life coming up with coping strategies.

     

     

  • Some of the challenges of ADHD can also be considered benefits. For example, a characteristic of ADHD is the ability to hyper-focus on topics that are interesting to the individual. Of course, the ability to hyper-focus is also what sometimes leads to a misdiagnosis.

     

     

  • There are tools to help individuals manage their ADHD.  There is hope. 

And I think HOPE is the most important awareness of all.