Category: Motivation

Do You Control Clutter, or Does It Control You?

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“That which you cannot give away, you do not possess. It possesses you.” (Ivern Ball)

Clutter is:

  • “Anything you do not need, use or love, and doesn’t love you back” (fellow organizers, tell me who said this and I would be happy to give credit!) 
  • “Unmade decisions” (Barbara Hemphill).

Why is it hard to let go of clutter?  Especially when we know we Don’t Need / Use or Love it?  Because sometimes…

  • Stuff signifies Unfulfilled Expectations, Unfinished Business, or Some Day. 
  • We feel guilty parting with an item someone gave us or that represents something. 
  • Stuff evokes strong emotions, even negative ones. 
  • We forget the Law of Diminishing Returns.  We need some stuff to live, but there comes a tipping point when more stuff is too much, won’t help you and will actually make life more difficult. 
  • Empty space makes us nervous.
  • We lack faith in the generosity of God, our family, our communities or loved ones, and we cling to things for “Just In Case”.
  • We forget the opportunity costs of clutter.  Choosing to fill a drawer or room with clutter means we cannot use that space for anything else.  Spending an hour fussing with our clutter – AGAIN – instead of clearing it once and for all keeps us from spending that hour some other way.

Why should we Let Go Of Clutter?

  • Clutter gets in the way of living our life and being happy.  Clutter builds real or emotional walls and keep us from creating and sustaining healthy relationships.
  • Clutter causes mental and emotional problems by contributing to unhappiness, feelings of isolation, anxiety, depression, insomnia, etc.
  • Clutter causes actual harm in extreme and not-so-extreme cases, by harboring allergens, carcinogens, dust, mold and germs, and creating safety and mobility hazards. 
  • Happiness comes from within, from choosing to be happy, from our relationships. Really happy people are satisfied and grateful for their lives and their relationships, regardless of the stuff they have and where they live.  Happiness does not come from stuff.
  • The February, 2012 issue of Family Circle mentioned a recent study, reporting “Couples who say material possessions are unimportant to them are more satisfied with their relationships, according to a new study.  They find happiness in each other, not their belongings”. Click for info on the study author, Jason Carroll, PhD.)

So, now that we know what we know, what do we do about it? 

  • Look at your Big Picture, appreciate the people your life and realize how blessed you really are.  Next time you feel like acquiring more stuff or getting lazy maintaining a clutter-free room or office, look at stuff more objectively and people more lovingly.
  • Change really does come from within.  Act differently this moment, even if it just having more positive thoughts. 
  • Build your Clutter Clearing Muscle.  Perhaps today you recognize why you have kept something that is clutter, and you let go of that piece of clutter instead of piling it up.  Letting go of clutter gets easier with practice.
  • Exercise your memory muscles, too.  Use your memory intentionally and purposefully. 
    • Respect the memory of a person by celebrating and honoring the life, not clinging to stuff.  Letting go of clutter does not mean you are letting go of loved ones.
    • Keep a memory journal and photos, of course.  With just a few words or small tokens, you can remember what you want to remember, instead of keeping piles of clutter.
    • A recent Faithful Organizer devotion read “Jesus left his people with little more than memories.  Yet Jesus did give his people something tangible to remember him by: the Last Supper. This was a ritual of communion based on his words “Every time you eat this bread and drink this wine, remember me.” (Luke 22:19) He gave them a beautiful parting memory that they could touch and taste and feel.”  Remember this the next time you struggle with keeping stuff because you’re afraid of “losing the memory.”
    • Attach good memories to rituals and actions.  For example, I have tangible keepsakes from my grandparents, but actions hold stronger memories for me.  Every time I play euchre, make deviled eggs, smell Palmolive dish soap or eat paczkis on Paczki Day (Fat Tuesday), I remember fondly those who have gone before me.

Remember that life is not about the stuff, it’s about the People in your life. Take control of your clutter, and live a better life!

Procrastination: Why? and How to Stop?

This is the first in a series I am writing for the Lenten Season, exploring the Spiritual Side of Getting Organized.  If you don’t observe Lent, consider it a 6 week Spring Training challenge!

Procrastination: “To indefinitely postpone or avoid performing a task out of anxiety, rather than time constraints or logic.  Unfocused wandering, killing time.”(Julie Morgenstern, Never Check Your Email in the Morning).  You know procrastinators, maybe you are one, I know I am sometimes.

Procrastination is widespread and can really complicate your life.  Here are reasons why we procrastinate, and how to stop!

Perfectionism:

  1. Perfectionism and Procrastination often go together.  Perfectionism is “Refusal to accept any standard short of perfection.”  Just seeing it stated makes me realize how ludicrous it is.
  2. Many of my clients are organized but also challenged with perfectionism. They resist starting organizing projects until the situation is perfect.  Since the perfect situation never occurs, neither does organizing.
  3. “I am careful not to confuse excellence with perfection. Excellence, I can reach for; perfection is God’s business.” (Michael J. Fox)
  4. Abandon perfectionism.  I challenge you to live better, and try harder.
  5. Ignorance isn’t really bliss.  Perhaps we believe that if we don’t try, we won’t fail, so we can go on believing in perfect.  “To prolong doubt is to prolong hope.”  (Jane Eyre, Charlotte Bronte)  Reality, though, friends, is always better than guessing.
  6. We are often afraid of doing the wrong thing, so we do nothing.  My dad often said “Do something, even if it is wrong.”  Any action at all is better than complete in-action.  To progress, we have to move, but we also we need to do the right things. Or else we’re guilty of  ….

Confusing busy work for real work:

  1. Recently read “Don’t confuse busy work with real work”  By Harold Taylor.  Here is an excerpt: “Mark Forster, in his book Do it tomorrow, points out that real work advances your business or job while busywork it is what you do to avoid real work.” Taylor suggests we look at results, not just movement.  “Real work includes things such as planning, goal setting, creative thinking, problem solving and decision-making. There is little visible activity with this type of work – consequently busywork looks more like real work that real work does. … We should judge others by their actual results, not by their physical activity.”

Un-Realistic Time Estimates:

  1. It’s surprising how we distort the actual time tasks take to accomplish.  We over-inflate the time for undesirable tasks, and under-inflate the estimates for things we like to do.  I don’t like balancing my checkbook, so it always feels like a big deal, though it takes 10 minutes once I sit down and do it.  I like to rehearse choir music, so I can spend an hour or 2 singing and playing, if I don’t watch the clock.
  2. Open-ended tasks make me nervous.  Something like “Re-do my website and blog” intimidates me because it could take weeks.  And because I can’t see the end, I don’t begin.
  3. How to beat the habit:
  • Keep a log of your time for two weeks to determine true time estimates.
  • Set a timer or your alarm clock and do all you can within your time boundaries.
  • Recognize that all projects are made up of a series of steps, and do as many as you can in a certain amount of time.  Using the blog / website idea, I will 1.  start with finding complimentary themes, 2. edit my current content, 3.  decide what is outdated and what I need to add, change one page at a time until it’s done.  Whew!  I feel better with a plan!

Seeing only the Little Picture.

  1. I am typically very sympathetic, but not when a person’s choice of procrastination over action causes drama.
  2. Procrastinators get mired in, or are oblivious to all but their own Little Picture instead of seeing the Big Picture.  They forget we all co-exist.  A college friend waited until the last minute to complete projects, to create a challenge and some excitement.  He did not see how his drama affected the others in his life.
  3. Procrastinators forget that emergencies happen, and that sometimes the answer is “No”.
  4. What to do about it?
  • Tough love here, but Grow up and see the big picture.  Learn to be more considerate of other people’s time as well as your own.
  • Find some other healthy outlet for your adrenaline rush, and ditch the drama.
  • Recognize that procrastination is a form of narcissism, and rise above.
  • Let experience win out over optimism.  If you often leave things undone until the last minute and occasionally get burned, start sooner next time!

Perhaps you just don’t know where to begin.  I understand.  Here are a couple of suggestions:

  1. Pick a spot and begin.  Move left-to-right, or right-to-left around your project area, just choose a path.
  2. Also, spend your time in one area today.   Whether you have 20 minutes or 4 hours, focusing on just one project area will bring you better results.
  3. If you have more than one project to tackle, and need to choose which one comes first, begin with the one that will bring you the most relief or with the one that is causing the most pain right now.

Start living better today.  If any of these reasons for procrastination feels really familiar, making positive choices this week to work better is a great place to start!

Ready or Not, Here Comes Tax Time!

      Whether you prepare your taxes or take them to an accountant or professional preparer, there are steps you can take to make the process easy and painless, or at least easier, for all involved.  I am a truly lucky woman.  The really great man I married is a CPA, so I have not had to worry about the paperwork of filing taxes since we got married.  That same great guy also agreed to answer my questions this week about organizing tax papers for my blog (he is a giver like that!).

     If you’ve filed your 2011 taxes already, pat yourself on the back, then skip to #4 and #5 to see how completing your tax return next year can be even easier.

1.  Start with last year’s return.  Look at the order of last year’s return, then collect and organize your information in the same order. This is not a complete list, but it should get you started.

  • W-2s, 1099s  and K-1s
  • Cost basis information for investments sold
  • Student loan info
  • Real Estate Taxes
  • Mortgage Interest
  • Charitable Contributions
  • Union Dues
  • Unreimbursed Work Expenses
  • Childcare Expenses
  • Last pay stub of the year
  • Receipts for items if you plan to itemize
  • Also, bring information for any new life situation, like birth certificates and social security numbers for children born in the tax year. 
  • If you have made any major purchases or sales this year, like buying or selling a home, major investment or business, collect the pertinent paper work for your use or to take to your accountant appointment. 
  • You are responsible for this process.  If your taxes are professionally prepared, your preparer is responsible for asking thorough questions, but you supply the answers and the information.
  1. Get ready, Get set, Go!  You can start your forms even if you are still missing one or two pieces of information.  Start with the information you have, even if you are waiting for a final number or detail, and then complete your return when you receive that last detail.  This avoids panic mode at April 15th looms closer, and it also gives you at least an estimate of what your taxes may be, and if you will owe money or receive a refund.  An incomplete picture is better than no picture at all.  
  2. Don’t delay, period.  Perfectionism and Procrastination are not your friends.  Do yourself and your preparer (and their family) a favor.  Delaying the process makes it more difficult, just Do It. 
  3. Give your papers a home, to make next year even easier:
    1. Have a hanging folder called “Relevant Tax Info, 2011” or 2012, etc).  Keep it close at hand.  I prefer hanging folders because they are easy to drop information into.  
    2. Within the larger hanging folder, have 3 or more manila file folders.  Title them something like:
      1. Items I Know Are for Taxes for charitable donation receipts, sale and purchase information, taxable transaction information, etc.
      2. Items I Need to Ask About for items you want to ask your accountant or preparer about that may impact your taxes
      3. Receipts for Purchases you can claim, like business expenses.
    3. Add relevant tax information to this holder throughout the year, as it occurs. 
  4. Buy A Shredder.  Once your taxes are filed for 2011, you can go back (with your preparer’s blessing) and shred tax returns that are more than 4-7 years old (again, ask your professional for suggestions).  Shredding is the only safe way to dispose of those old, unnecessary tax returns.

You can do this, friends, and you’ll feel great when your taxes are filed!  A big breath of relief, then move on to something else!

Organize Your Wellness! Love Yourself!

     Hearts are everywhere this time of year!  Love and Valentine’s day, of course, but also Go Red for The American Heart Association, and health and wellness in general.  Spend some time this week organizing your schedule and home around your Health and Wellness, and take care of you and the ones you love.   

  1. Make wellness part of your routine, making time for exercise, healthy eating, medications and supplements.  Attach something that needs to happen to something that already works.  For example, perhaps you pick your kids up from school every day.  Attach a 30 minute walk on the way to pick-up, to ensure your exercise will happen.  Or if you check your email every morning, like me, leave your vitamins and supplements next to your computer as a reminder!
  2. Save yourself some time and stress, and assign a home to important things.  For example, put your car keys and cell phone the same place every time you come in the door.  Then stick with it.  Every time. 
  3. Plan time – actually make a note in your calendar – every week for exercise and self-care.   Writing things down make them more likely to occur.  I always respect my standing appointment for my tennis lesson!
  4. Make and keep those health care appointments!  Group appointments on one or two days off, and take care of them all at once.  Set aside a day to set all your appointments, too.  Maybe Valentine’s Day or your birthday, or the first day of the month?  And of course, keep a portable folder for notes on health care issues and questions to ask your providers.  I also sweetened my recent appointment day with a massage in the morning, Rita at A Relaxed You in Mt. Greenwood is my favorite!
  5. Use down-time, like waiting for an appointment or for the kids to finish soccer practice for some deep breathing exercises, relaxing visualizations or a brisk walk around the park.  I have some great apps for my smart phone like “Long Deep Breathing”, “Relax Sleep Well” and “White Noise”.  Of course, I also have Sudoku and Word Jumble Apps, so I can relax and distract when I have a minute! 
  6. Make family time wellness time, with family hikes or biking, ice-skating, snowball fights – use your imagination!
  7. Occasionally take the day off from routine tasks.  Try a non-laundry day or a guest chef (my kids!) day, to make things more fun and less stressful.
  8. Remind yourself that you do not have to fix every problem every day.  Focus on just a few tasks, and do them well.
  9. Have a back-up plan for everything – babysitter, outfit, transportation options, backdoor key
    (hidden but accessible), quick and easy dinner plan.  Save yourself the scramble when your schedule changes or you are feeling under the weather!
  10. Save Your Back (or in my case, my shoulder.  Did I mention a massage?!?):  Only carry what you need.  Keep your backpacks handbags and briefcases filled with essentials for today, and don’t lug around stuff you don’t need.

Focus on wellness this week, and love yourself and those who count on you!  Happy Valentines Day!

Less Truly Is More!

 Less Truly Is More.  Less grocery shopping this week gives you more money in your pocket, more space, more room to move, more storage possibilities.  Your challenge this week is to clear kitchen clutter with Pantry Shopping.

I’ve organized several kitchens and client menu plans (link to other posts) lately.  Clients often ask what they can do to get ready for our organizing appointments.  “Don’t Buy Anything New!  Use What You Have!” is the answer!  This practice is also known as Pantry Shopping (per Mary Hunt at www.debtproofliving.com).  Why Pantry Shop?  I have been in homes where there are literally hundreds of cans of food, and dozens of boxes of cereal or cake mixes or pasta.  All those cans and boxes are clutter and are costing you money if unused.  You will be amazed at how much food you actually have on hand.

Go through your cabinets using  Julie Morgenstern’s S.P.A.C.E. method of Organizing.

S: Sort your food.  Group canned goods together, further sorted by veggies or fruits, canned meats, soups, etc.  Put spices and baking supplies together, cereal items, sauces, pasta and side dishes (rice and potato items), etc.

P: Purge items that need to go.

  • Expiration dates make purging kitchen stuff easy.  Expired food needs to go.  I know you spent money on it, and that it might still be safe and flavorful to eat, but ask yourself – is it worth the risk?  No, it’s not.  Possible food poisoning in exchange for a few bucks saved at the grocery?  Do the math.
  • There are also items that have been open in your cabinet for an undetermined amount of time.  Open cereal or saltines may not have expired, but they might not taste good anymore. 
  • There may be food that has expired to you and your lifestyle.  Baby foods, items your family has decided they don’t like, foods you bought for a recipe but never used (and don’t plan to), or impulse buys.  Donate these items to your local food pantry or hand them off to a friend, but get rid of things that won’t be used before they expire. 

A and C: Assign A Home / Container-ize:

  • Decide where to store food that you keep.  We consider who uses an item when we pick storage spots.  My youngest likes to get his own cereal in the morning, so cereals and the bin of after-school snacks are in a bottom cabinet within his reach.
  • In that same low cabinet are foods in glass jars like pickles and spaghetti sauces because I am a terrible klutz and storing things low to the ground means I break less!
  • The other benefit of Assigning a Home for specific types of food comes when it’s time to make a grocery list.  By looking at the space where the cereal or pasta or soup belongs, I can tell at a glance if I need to add it to my grocery list. 
  • Decide what is a reasonable amount to have on hand for specific items. I have 2 half shelves in one cabinet dedicated to canned goods.  The lower shelf is for stuff I use all the time and is double stacked, and the top shelf is for the items I rarely use.  If the shelves are full, I do not buy canned goods.  It’s as simple as that.
  • Corral small items like dip or seasoning packets, breakfast bars or spices into handy containers so the items are less likely to get lost and instead will get used up!

 E: Equalize (Maintenance)

  • Rotate the stock:  Check your expiration dates, and put the closest expiration dates up front, so you use those food items first.
  • Incorporate your Pantry Food into your meal plan for the next few weeks, to use up your excess food.  Do this at least a couple of times a year, to keep things moving. 
  • Don’t buy items if they are not on the menu for the next couple of weeks.  Break out of your typical shopping habits, and instead only buy what you really need.

Learn to live with less this week, and like it!  Less Really is More!

8 Tools in your Focus Toolbox

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Congratulations!  It’s a new year!  You cleaned your desk and set up your workflow.  Awesome!  Now it’s time to get to work.  And your brain betrays you.  Ugh.  Instead of focusing, it wants to be anywhere but sitting at your desk getting things done.  Oh, wait, maybe that’s just my brain.

Focus, both noun and verb, is defined as “to bring to the center of interest, to concentrate”.  When working from home, I want to make the most of my time and get my work done, so I can finish up and go do something else.  And when I am working with a client, it’s my responsibility to keep our projects on task and focused, to make the most of our time together.  Focus is very important, for me and for you.

As I’ve thought about improving focus, I’ve discovered tools to use for different people, situations, assignments or types of tasks, even different times of day.  And I guess that’s my point today.  Next time you need to really buckle down, give one of these Focus ideas a try, and find out what works for you. 

Getting Started:

  1. Start with your easiest task. Sometimes we can get our brain to focus on business if we start with a couple of easy tasks first, to quickly cross them off the to-do list.  Or….
  2. Start with your hardest task.  Spending time on your toughest task ensures some progress today.  The tough tasks are also typically the longest, so we need to make time early on to get them done.
  3. Set a deadline for your self can help you stay focused and on-task.  Instead of wondering IF you can get a task done in an hour, a day, a week, resolve you WILL get it done, and get to work.  I don’t do well with open-ended assignments, so this works great for me. 
  4. Keep a pad of paper or pile of index cards next to you, to collect distracting ideas and address them later.  Keep the idea, but don’t let it derail your focus.

While You Work:

  1. If you find your focus drifting, stop trying so hard.  It might be time to take a break.
    1. Focus on or do something else for a short time, since letting your mind wander for a few minutes can actually improve focus.
    2. Take a break and walk away.  Walk around the block, take some deep breaths.  Don’t just surf the net for a few minutes, let your eyes see something new for a bit. 
    3. Be comfortable.  I can focus a little too well sometimes.  So well that hours can pass, and then I am stiff, cold, hungry and really tired.  Take breaks to keep your self comfortable as you do your work.
    4. Count to 10.  Or 20.  Or 100.  Or backwards from 20.
  2. Music:  Sometimes music helps me, sometimes it is distracting.  Know your self.  If low background music helps you focus, use it!
  3. If repeated interruptions are sabotaging your focus, take control:
    1. Turn off the tech, and respect your own time.  No email notifications, no phone calls, no Facebook or Angry Birds.
    2. Close the door, or put interruptions in your calendar.  If someone interrupts you, pause the question for 10 seconds and finish what you are doing, promise to get back to the person at an appointed time, make a quick note of the time, and then get back to work!
  4. If you are writing and you can’t seem to focus:
    1. Start with a review of what you wrote most recently.
    2. Write anything for 3 minutes, even if it is gibberish.  Just writing words can help our brain focus. 
    3. Use structure.  Remember the 5 paragraph essay you learned in elementary school?  Make a statement; offer 3 points to prove or illustrate the statement; flesh out those points; restate your statement.  My writing often starts with these ideas, or ends up in outline form with bulleted items.  If such structures help you flesh out ideas, use them!

So, next time you find your brain wandering away from the task at hand, pull one of these ideas out of your toolbox and give it a try!  Here’s to a productive, focused brain!

Six Essential Steps to An Organized Desk

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Spend an hour on your desk for National Clean off your Desk Day!   

     Focus on visual results, and save acting on ideas for another day. Corral your papers into meaningful places, so you can see what you have and start getting things done.

     Most folks are capable of sorting and piling papers into categories of their own choosing. But mid-sort, they find they need to reclaim their work space, and the papers get piled together again and set aside, instead of finding a new home. So the desk stays a mess, and they never feel “done”.

     Another challenge with papers is that they typically represent something else, like a memory, an event, a task to complete or an idea we want to keep. Acknowledging that, you need a physical storage system for your papers and ideas, and the motivation and perseverance to finish and maintain your system.  Here is what you need to do: 

    1. Remove non work related items from your desk (see last year’s blog for a list).
    2. Set up a physical system for Passive Papers (Idea from Freedom Filer, and tweaked for my clients!).
      1. Passive Papers have been acted upon, and now wait for a pre-determined time until they are no longer needed for reference (e.g., receipts, paid bills, balanced bank statements, etc.).
      2. The storage system consists of 24 hanging folders in an open top vertical holder on your desktop
        (preferred) or a very near desk drawer.  Label the folders 2 for each month, with a  “- Even Year” or  “- Odd Year” tacked on the end.  You will end up with two full years of folders, one set for last year (2011, ending in “- Odd Year”), and one for this year (“ –  Even Year”).  The Odd Year folders will hold last year’s papers from your desktop, and the Even Year folders are for adding to during 2012.  Few papers need to be kept longer than one calendar year. 
    3. Set up a physical system for Active Papers, also in an open vertical folder holder on your desk top, with folder names based on What Actions To Take or By Project, or sometimes, both!  For Example:
      1. What Actions To Take:  Receipts for Reimbursement; Calls to Make; Bills to Pay; Forms to complete and return; or Coupons, gift cards and shopping ideas.
      2. By Project (examples from my desk):  Past clients to check in with; Proposal for Home Office and Productivity Class Series; LLC Research and Paperwork; Event Folder, May Communion Party.
      3. Strategic Management, product development ideas
    4. Set up a box for Archival Papers / Treasures.  Archival Papers are long-term record keeping papers, like home purchase papers, filed taxes, appliance manuals and warranties, wills, etc.  Treasures are school project, travel papers, received greeting cards, photos, etc.  These are all projects for another day, get them off your desk.
    5. Grab two bags, one each for papers to shred later and recycling, and start distributing your desk papers to their new homes.  Grab a notebook and jot ideas down as they occur to you, do not get distracted and lose focus.
    6. Now, Get Up and Put Your Stuff Away.  You have distributed your papers to your new folders, but you may have other items that need to go elsewhere in your home or office.  Get up and Put Them Away in their final homes.  Even if this 10 minutes is in the middle of your project, Get Up and Put them away.  Then bask in the glow of your clean desk top, and keep going.  A fellow organizer calls this the Stand And Deliver step, but I can’t find out who that was, and I would happily give her credit.  The point is…. Embrace “Done”!  And feel good about your efforts!

Next Week I will offer some insight on work-flow and productivity, to get things done now that your desk is looking better!

This Is Your Chance To Choose Your Changes

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Last year, I learned that less than 50% of us make New Year’s Resolutions.  So in January, I gently nudged my dear readers to try a little to make simple painless changes, maybe, if they felt like it.  Well, you are all still dear to me, but I’m not being gentle with the topic of Resolutions this year. 

     The celebration of the New Year is not our only opportunity to make positive changes.  We can wake up any morning and say “today is the day”.  The New Year is the most publicized opportunity, though, and there are lots of available resources to help us make and keep our resolutions.  Health club memberships are discounted, as is exercise equipment to purchase.  Programs abound for weight loss and smoking cessation, healthy recipes populate the media and grocery stores run specials on the foods we are supposed to be eating.  Professional organizers send you information about goal-setting, paper management or National GO (Get Organized) Month. 🙂

      I think you are fabulous just the way you are, don’t get me wrong.  You are wonderful and fully evolved, and I do not think you need to be different.  However, we all need to realize is that Change is going to happen, no matter what.  Things change every day, every minute of our life.  And we can either be carried along with a wave, or we can start swimming.  Change happens, no matter what, but we can guide the change if we are willing to make the effort. 

Many years ago (original posting 2012!) I watched a great motivational video of Matt Cutts, previously a bigwig at Google, https://www.mattcutts.com/blog/about-me/ .  He spent 2011 completing 30-day challenges, trying new things for 30 days.  Turns out, “30 days is just the right time to start a new good habit or get rid of an old, bad habit”.  His last line really resonated most with me, “The next 30 days are going to pass, whether you like it or not”.   We might as well do something great with them!

So, two words for you:  Change and Choice.  I encourage you to think make and keep Resolutions this year.  If you don’t want to get rid of any habits, think about 12 habits you wish you had.  Change is inevitable, but we can choose our focus, and make this a positive experience.  You get to choose.

So what is it going to be?  Knowing that change will happen anyway, how will you choose to guide your change and your life in the new year? Here are some tips:

  • If you are new to the Resolution idea, try choosing one good habit from each of these areas:  personal, family, home, spiritual and financial.
  • Keep language is positive.  I am taking on new things instead of focusing on the negative. 
  • Make choices for yourself, not for others.
  • Make it public.  Letting others in on your resolutions makes you more accountable for keeping them.  I will publish mine next week, after I have added action points for myself. 
  • Throw in a couple of “gimmes”. Some easy goals that will take maybe an hour or 2, and then you can feel good crossing them off your list.  Organizing your desk drawers, cleaning out the pantry, making a long delayed doctor’s appointment, etc. 

      You can do this, friend, I know you can!  And you will be so happy when you do!  Happy New Year!

Be Peaceful and Relax With Me This Week

Reposted, original post 12.26.2011.

Can I move to the UK? Or Canada? Just for the day? I am writing this on December 26th, and my original first line quipped “my annual Boxing Day dilemma” and that I would have to look up to actually see what Boxing Day is. So I did. And, as God would have it, Boxing Day is exactly what I needed!   My dilemma was about how to spend my day, relaxing or taking care of business.   For once, relaxing won!

In other countries and cultures, the day after Christmas is reserved for relaxing and spending time with family, eating party leftovers, being thankful for what you have and giving generously to those in need. How awesome is that?

I struggle daily with two opposites: feeling compelled to constant work and motion, versus feeling the need to relax and recharge. The titles of the saved emails in my in-box this morning were indicative of these two opposites: “You-time is vital to survival”, “Take back your weekend”, “Take time off this Christmas time” on the one hand; “Productivity during the Holidays”, “Strategic Planning for the New Year!” and “Head Start Week for Businesses (using this last week of the year to get ready for strategy and organizing for next year)” on the other.

Work and motion always win. I spent the last three days lovingly and happily working hard to extend hospitality with a clean home and lovely meals, and making sure Christmas wishes came true. I cantored Christmas morning Mass (a great joy of mine), spent time with wonderful people, had some emotional ups and downs around great joy and tragedy and loss, received lovely gifts and counted my blessings.

I am sharing this not for props, but to explain why I am very tired today. So, friends, if you also struggle between work and rest, let me suggest that this week both you and I allow relaxing and re-charging to win for a change.

One of the blogs I follow states relaxation is vital to survival, an opportunity to replenish “the well”, to regain the energy we have expended and prepare us for tomorrow.  For me, today’s relaxation included sleeping in and staying in my fuzzy robe for a while, looking at lots of Legos, reading a magazine, catching up with a good friend far away and going to the movies with my family.  I believe there will be more movie watching and vegging out later this evening if I hide the remote control now….. ok, done.

I find it difficult to do nothing, so I also cleaned out my in-boxes, tidied up my house, re-pledged to healthy eating and taking my vitamins, and did some strategic planning for next year. I find positive energy replenishing, so I enjoyed these things, too!  And I did it all while wearing jammies and drinking coffee or tea from my wonderful new Keurig, my gift from my even more wonderful husband.

So, take a breath this week, take a break, and replenish your energy to prepare for the new year. If you need me, I’ll be eating leftover cheesecake for dinner and playing Wii games with my family.  Smiling all the way.

Christmas Dinner: Food and Guests Rule

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     When I blogged about menu planning a few weeks ago, my message was about saving time and money.   For special occasions, though, we want to make a meal to delight our guests.  For those events, we focus on the guests, the food and the presentation. 

     Menu planning is always a help, making impressive meals easier!  The process is similar, regardless of the focus of your meals. 

  1. Start with cleaning up your kitchen, cleaning out the fridge and clearing some work space!
  2. Consider your guests, family traditions and other logistics.  For example, I need to make sure there are ample veggie options for the vegetarians coming to Christmas dinner, and someone in the family does not onions.  We also have a Christmas Birthday in the house, so we always have birthday cake for dessert!  Logistically, count guests and plan your servings accordingly.   Remember it’s better to have leftovers than not enough.
  3. Make your menu.  Determine if and what anyone else is contributing to the meal.  Let those folks bringing items know what time dinner will be, so they know when to arrive and can determine if their dish needs to come hot or cold to your meal.
  4. Look at your recipes, check what you have on hand and make your grocery list.  Shop at least a few days ahead of time, so you can start your prep, though you may have to run out for forgotten items or last-minute purchases.  Our menu for Christmas, and my grocery items and notes in parentheses, are as follows:
    1. Ham with glaze (my MIL brings the ham, buy cranberry sauce and marmalade for the glaze, I have the rest)
    2. Baked sweet potatoes (MIL will bring)
    3. Baked or mashed potatoes (have)
    4. Biscuits (have)
    5. corn casserole (a family favorite, check sour cream, I have the rest of ingredients)
    6. green bean amandine or Christmas (petite) peas with lemon zest (buy veggie, and almonds or lemon)
    7. A pear, walnut and pomegranate spinach salad I am cobbling together from 2 recipes, choosing my favorite parts of each.  (here is one, Kraft special spinach salad, the other is from FamilyCircle.com) Should be very pretty and colorful on the table.
    8. Turtle brownies for the birthday boy (buy cake mix and caramel, have condensed milk)
    9. Cheese cake with raspberry sauce (have most ingredients, buy graham crackers and frozen raspberries)
  5. I really love cooking a big holiday meal for my family.  But it takes time in the kitchen on those special days, so I do as much as possible ahead so I can still enjoy my guests.  I can do the following a day or 2 before:
    1. Clean out fridge
    2. Make glaze
    3. Scrub potatoes
    4. Shred cheese for biscuits
    5. Sugar walnuts
    6. Bake desserts, make raspberry sauce
    7. Ice / chill wine and beer
    8. Check table linens
  6. One of my favorite tips:
    1. Wash serving dishes and roasting pan ahead of time, leave them on the counter.   
    2. Write item name on a card (or click here to see my porcelain cards) and leave card on corresponding serving dishes;
    3. Place serving dishes on server or table to make sure there is room for everything.
    4. Helpful guests can place the items in the correct dishes with the correct cards.  Let others help you!!
  7. Check the cook times on your items, then move back from your dinner time to determine when items go in the oven to have them all done at the same time.  For example: 
    1. (4 hours prior) Bake Ham
    2. (90 minutes prior) Bake sweet and regular potatoes (or mash them)
    3. (75 minutes prior) Assemble and bake corn casserole
    4. (half hour prior, take out ham to make room) Bake biscuits
    5. (Last half hour) Steam and assemble vegetable, assemble salad, set table

     What are you doing for Christmas Dinner?  And what can you do ahead of time to make things go more smoothly?  Use menu planning to make a great Christmas Dinner for your guests, while allowing you a chance to get out of the kitchen to enjoy them!  Merry Christmas!