Category: Organize Your Stuff

Planning for Big and Small Spring Projects

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I don’t know about you, but I am feeling the stirrings of Spring!

I was recently a guest on the EP Podcast where we talked about Spring Cleaning, thanks Chris, for having me on!

When this podcast episode and article are published, it will be mid March. We will have celebrated St. Patrick’s Day, and celebrated my husband for his birthday. Happy birthday, honey.

While I live in the Chicago area and there is no telling if we’re feeling Spring-like weather the day you are hearing or reading this, the official first day of Spring is Thursday, March 20.

So, perhaps you are feeling stirrings of Spring as well!

Last week, we sat at the table and made a list of things we wanted to do or buy for Spring. Big things and little things. Big projects and little projects.

This week, I want to walk us through planning and projects. After asking a client some questions in a recent email, she said it became obvious that she needed to get organized about getting organized (I am paraphrasing). And I love that idea because it’s true. We have to do the planning and then do the work. Both are required for success! So, here are the questions I ask my clients when they tell me they want to get organized, and the questions work for Spring Projects as well!

  • What are your projects, and what is their priority order?
  • What are you willing to add in (habits) or part with (clutter, or in this case, time or money in exchange for products or services), to make these projects succeed?
  • Why are these projects important to you?
  • What is your deadline for the projects?

First, let’s look at “What are your projects, and what is their priority order?”

Which means it is time for the Clipboard Activity.

If you ever have attended one of my classes like Downsizing or Clear The Clutter, I always suggest we grab a cliboard. I talk about how everybody looks cooler holding a clipboard, how I feel more empowered when holding a clipboard. But to be honest, an actual clipboard isn’t required. The clipboard represents the planning process. Write your notes in a notebook or on your computer. Often with my clients, I will take notes on my phone or iPad, and then send them the notes in an outline form.

When we grab the clipboard, literally or figuratively, we are organizing to get organized.

I won’t suggest something I haven’t tried, so here is what the Clipboard Activity looks like in my home, identifying Big and Small Projects for Spring.

  • I am working on this artice in my living room, so first on my list, I need to wash my windows inside and out. Yikes. Rain and snow have not been kind this winter, so I will plan an hour or two next weekend and wash my windows. That’s a Spring and Fall task.
  • A bigger project, though, is replacing the couch and likely the chairs as well. I love my gorgeous green leather oversized couch. But we have had it for about 20 years now and it is looking a bit sad. It has been the best couch, but I think it’s time. And a new couch requires research, decision making about size and styles and colors and budget, and a trip to the furniture store, and then likely some waiting. And sadly the chairs are as old as the couch, and not nearly as comfortable as they once were. So those small and big projects go on the Clipboard list, and then we move on.
  • In the dining room is our thermostat, and we want to have the HVAC company out to install a new thermostat, so that is a phone call and appointment to make.
  • My dining room is always good, organizationally speaking, because there is not much to it. I need to oil the top of my dining room table to treat it, and the windows need washed, too. Two small regular maintenance projects go on the list, and then we move on.
  • In our house, geographically, next is one son’s room, but there isn’t anything we need to do in there.
  • On to the bathroom and linen closet. I need to have the plumber out because my drain is draining very slowly, so that is a phone call to make. Hopefully that doesn’t end up as a big project. The small projects on the list are replacing a set of towels that I purged last week because they were worn out, and tidying the linen closet. (I took care of that last weekend in about 10 minutes. I purged the old bath towels and took care of the bin of cold and flu medication. That bin got messed up when my son and I both had the cold and flu in February. So, I tidied that up, determined items to restock, and DONE! And I am happy again when I open that closet door.)
  • On to our bedroom. Our bedroom is pretty good. A small and regular project is switching my clothes over for Spring. Another small project / purchase is replacing my portable laptop desk which is no longer portable and is listing to one side like a drunken sailor. So that is on my list of purchases. It’s a different kind of purchase than going to the furniture store, so that goes on a different list and my company will purchase it.
  • Next is my other’s son’s bedroom, and decisions in that room are not my decisions to make, so moving on!
  • On to the Family Room and My office (same room). It’s pretty good back there. We may need to replace that couch, too. Again, it has been here for a while and has gotten a lot of wear and tear as my sons have grown up. So, more decision making and perhaps some shopping.
  • A small project in my office will be in May when I am officially done with Board of Education Work, and I will need to clear out and shred the papers I have kept over the last 8 years, and dedicate that reclaimed storage and file cabinet drawer for other things. Not a high priority item today, but it goes on the list.
  • And then finally, the kitchen. The kitchen is good, there are no large projects in there. As soon as I think that, I realize there are things I want from the grocery this week, but that is a completely different task. And today, I need to put away some serving dishes we used for a big family dinner yesterday. But, again, that’s just maintenance.
  • Another small project, already complete? I bought forks. Yes, forks. When all the dishes are clean and put away, we have a nine piece setting of flatware. 9 each of knives, 2 sizes of spoons, and 2 sizes of forks. 9 of each. Except for the big forks. We were down to 4. I have no idea what happened to them. We’ve had those for a long time, too. We tend to keep our stuff for a long time, and take good care of it, which is great. But the fork thing was bugging me EVERY DAY when I had to eat everything with a small fork. And it turns out I can buy just 4 or 6 forks in the same pattern, which is apparently very common from Oneida. Such a small and simple remedy, for $20 and about 10 minutes of my time.
  • If we head outside, we want the HVAC folks to clean the AC unit while they are here. And another large project I have in mind is new plantings in front of my house. I had the idea last Spring but never got around of doing it so my shrubs still look the same as they did for the last 15 years, only a little worse.
  • And I love to think about what to put in my container garden, but that is more of an April question.

Whew! Thanks for walking through my house with me! And the more important part is not what MY big and small projects are, it is teaching you the process for you to apply it to your own home. Grab the note-taking device and then walk from room to room and make your notes for big and small projects, and what priority level you want to assign to them.

And… next questions: What are you willing to add in ( habits) or part with (clutter, time or money in exchange for products or services), to make these projects succeed? And, Why are they important, and what is the timeline?

Again, let me walk through that with you.

We are pretty solid with our habits, so I don’t need to answer that part of the question. We can look at the “What am I willing to part with to make these projects succeed?” question though. What work am I willing to do to complete these projects? And this is typically the Resources question. Planning means assessing our resources like time and money and know-how, and supports like other people.

I am willing to do the actual physical work for most of these projects, of course. OR the mental work, if research and decision making are required.

And, all of these larger projects have been considered for at least a few months, so we have considered who our experts are (plumber, HVAC company, landscaper) and also what the budget is, at least vaguely, for the projects and purchases (couch? couches?) will likely be.

And time frame? Let’s look at the calendar.

Let’s consider how long furniture takes to arrive these days. The last time we bought furniture it was a six week time frame for delivery. But that was a very long time ago, what is typical now?

I should probably call or text my plumber today. He is awesome, and knowing him, he will offer to come and checking things out right away, but I just want to get on his schedule for the next few weeks. The HVAC company is my husband’s call to make because he knows what he wants. But again, sooner rather than later.

And I need to ask my family member about their friend who may be able to help with the landscaping. That is another text for today or this week.

And now… the doing. Planning and Doing, right? Or were you hoping I would forget about that part?

I will not. And neither can you. Planning is great, seriously, I love planning. But we also must commit to the doing. Or my windows will stay dirty, I will never have enough forks, my shower will still drain too slowly, and my shrubbery will still look sad and tired.

The doing.

I will make the calls this week and get the appointments on the calendar. We will start the conversation about couches and chairs. I will order the adjustable rolling laptop desk, and the new white bath towels. If the weather stays pleasant, I will carve out an hour or two for washing my windoews. And I will appreciate eating with a full sized fork and acknowledge the benefits that come from having an idea and then acting on it.

Happy Spring!

“Good Enough” Is Better Than Not At All

Good enough destinations, inspired by and with thanks to my client P.

We want to be right, right? But we can also be right enough, close enough, good enough. That is my premise for today.

These days, I don’t always write or record conversations about clutter. But a client conversation and a recent Downsizing Presentation reminded me of some points that I want to share this week!

Clutter exists in our physical space, and also our mental space, our emotional space. Perhaps we are making progress towards clearing that clutter, but sometimes that progress slows down, or gets hung up or halted for some reason. Often, that slowdown or hangup is because of decision making and perfectionsim. So let’s look at that.

Clutter in our lives is often a reflection of other things in our lives. A symptom of other challenges, perhaps. And we can delve deeper to examine those other challenges another time, but we can also still make progress without examining the deeper work because let’s face it – we likely all agree, clutter negatively impacts our thoughts, emotions, frame of mind and more.

I have shared before how our physical environments influence our wellness and health. How having clutter can negatively impact our mental and physical health. Having clutter increases symptoms of depression, anxiety, bipolal disorder, ADHD, heart disease, diabetes, and the list goes on. And, that in addition to impacting our mental and physical health, clutter can lead to unsafe or unsanitary situtations. Clutter harbors mold, mildew, dust and other allergens, and it can physically be unsafe if it causes us to stumble or it falls on us, or increases fire risks in extreme sitations.

And, turning all of that around, Clearing Clutter decreases depression, anxiety, symptoms of bipolar disorder and ADHD, improves symptoms of heart disease and diabetes, improves air quality in our homes, sleep quality and overall safety.

Without needing to delve into trauma or personality or neurodiversity, those deeper challenges, we can still clear SOME clutter almost any day. Because we know that having less clutter improves our quality of life in these ways and more.

And yet.

Here’s the thing. I know amazing people and you are one of them! And very often I have conversations with my clients, neighbors, friends or family members, and they all want to part with their clutter to reap the beneifts and live better. But we get stuck on wanting to part with clutter but only in the Right Way or a perfect way, whatever that means. And we delay the positive benefits by waiting around for or puzzling over that one perfect solution, and waiting around for perfect keeps us from taking ANY steps to declutter, which keeps us mired in our clutter and its negative effects.

We focus on finding the perfect solution for parting with our clutter; making lots of money; finding someone who will value this item greatly, like we did when we first bought it 20 years ago; finding the MOST WORTHY cause to donate our items. And we still live in clutter and chaos because these unicorns, these perfect solutions, might not actually exist. Choosing to live with clutter is not logical, when we know the benefits, so let’s look at decision making logically.

I was coaching with a client in December, discussing her work and progress in clearing clutter in the different areas of her home. She wants to live in a cleaner and safer space, and also wants to enjoy her home more. And improve air quality to help with her asthma. And clear some spaces for some home imprements like electrical or plumbing work, or painting.

And as we were talking through her spaces, she metioned some very specific items that she wanted to part with. As soon as she mentioned them, I had three very specific ideas of non-profit organizations that we could donate the items to, but each would require a phone call or an appointment or renting a truck to drop things off, etc. But – let’s recall – we were seeking solutions and I did not want to add to my client’s burdens. So as we discussed possible solutions, I also suggested that we seek some combination of the perfect solutions for some things and also “Good enough” solutions. To help her make the progress she desires while also seeking perfect solutions, if we happen to find them.

Yes, for truly meaninful items, we may continue to seek a perfect destination for our stuff. But most of our stuff isn’t truly meaningful. So what this client and I discussed was creating a rubric, path or process for deciding “Good Enough” solutions to clearing her clutter as she works through the different storage spaces in her home. A decision-making matrix.

Here are some of the questions we came up with, for her and the rest of us, when we determine we no longer want an item, or an item in our home needs to leave.

I like money, money’s nice. Question 1 then, Is the item returnable? And if it is, is the hassle worth it? Meaning, the amount of money we would receive for returning the items is more that the time and effort it takes to return in. (For example, if an item is returnable but requires special shipping or transportation, and the cost of those eats up the money we woud have received in return).

Question 2, Is the item sellable? And is the hassle worth it? Like returning an item, will the amount of money for selling an item be more than the time and effort it takes to sell it? For example, Beanie Babies or bobble heads or beer steins. I’ve had many difficult conversations with clients and loved ones regarding collectibles and their believed worth. Unfortunately, items that we believe are sellable and worth lots of money sometimes… are not.

And, there are other organizers and experts out there that can help you determine if an item has worth and is sellable. I am not that organizer or expert.

Check out my permanent Blog Post regarding resources and destinations for parting with your items.

Organizing Resources to Reduce, Reuse and Recycle!

Next, Question #3, If we can’t get money for the item, is it sharable? Can we give it away? Is there someone that we know personally that can use this item? A friend, a loved one, a neighbor, co-worker, someone on our community? Could I take it somewhere in my community, like to church or the library or the local food pantry, depending on what it is? I also consider sharing items on my community’s Free Box Facebook Page. My Sister-In-Law downsized her mother’s apartment and share many things in her local Buy Nothing group.

And having parameters on those types of groups is helpful, too. For example, “I will post an item on the FB group or groups, check back if there is no response after 1 or 3 or 7 days, and then delete the entry from the page and donate the item (depending on the terms of the group).”

Which leads us to the next question, Is it donatable? Is there a specific person or group or organization that would take this item as a donation? I will take an item down off the Facebook pages, bag it up and drop it off at Goodwill, St. Vincent de Paul, AmVets Purple Hearts, Epilepsy Foundation, Savers, Neat Repeats (a local second hand store), etc. And because I do this for some of my clients, I stop by donation destinations once a week.

For my clients, having this decision making process is helpful, and more importantly, deciding at the beginning of the process that clearing clutter is more important than finding perfect solutions and destinations encourages progress.

I believe most people are truly good people. We want to do the right thing. But perfectionism can trip us up. We can avoid getting stuck if we can get better at decision making. Decision making, getting better at deciding that something is clutter, and then how to part with it is so important for continued progress on the organizational process.

We don’t want to end up with boxes of things by our back door, in our garage, by the front door. We know we want to part with our clutter, and getting good at “Good Enough” keeps your brain from stumbling on the where, what or why. Determine how long you really want to spend on the redistribution of items, and what you will also be okay with if you just need to drop them off somewhere or donate them. I’m not saying all the items, but many!

I also commend you for wanting to do the right thing with those items. And so let’s figure out what the right thing is for ourselves. And then barring the right and perfect destination for your items, let’s decide what good enough looks like and then be ready to make that happen. Clutter cleared is more important than clutter put into the perfect situation. Because, you know, perfect is kind of hard to attain. But good enough – well, I’m all about “good enough” most days!

A Routine’s Last Steps Are The Most Important

Recently, a client asked me how I schedule things. And since that means different things to different people, I delved a little deeper and asked a few more questions while we worked.

We were working through a pile of The Smalls in her home office. Do you know The Smalls? Imagine the things that come out of your pocket, like a pocket full of change or receipts or sunglasses or cough drops. It’s the bowl of weird things that ends up on our dresser or by the bathroom sink or in a heap on the table by the door. Safety pins, charging cords, random pens from the bank, tags from a sweater. The odd little small stuff that can drive us crazy. The Smalls.

As we were working through The Smalls, what she really wanted to know about was How to Create Routines. Routines in general, but in this case, a routine for maintenance, for example, better managing and eliminating The Smalls.

So, she was asking how to create routines? And specifically, the Maintenance Part of routines.

I love this question, we should all ask this question. And this particular client asked the question that day, but I have worked with dozens of clients answering the same question for themselves.

And as a refresher – What are routines? Using a morning routine as an example, a routine is a short list of 5-7 tasks that we must complete every morning (or afternoon or evening or when we go to a certain place or do certain things) to survive (sleep, eat, bathe, drink water) and also maintain a basic level of functionality in our life (start laundry, pay bills, buy groceries, exercise).

How do I know she was asking about maintenance? I see this client once a month. When I arrive in the morning, she is always awake, showered and dressed. The cat and dogs have been fed, dogs have been out, and she usually has some laundry started. There are many parts of her routine that are solid. I know she has mastered survival tasks in her routine. If this sounds familiar, I would guess you, also, have conquered survival, the basics, the essentials. So what is missing?

For this client, she was asking about a routine to take care of The Smalls and other clutter in her house before it got to the troublesome level.

Next level, then, is getting good at our routine maintenance tasks. After survival tasks are complete, what are those maintenance tasks we must complete every day, again, to maintain a basic level of functionality in our life?

Unfortunately, since maintenance is often less urgent than survival, we can sometimes let those tasks slide in the rush of our day to day. The danger, of course, is that since routine tasks are tasks we must complete over and over again, we can get lax in the execution and completion of them. And as we relax our standards, we stop maintaining our maintenance. The switch, then, the point is, we need to understand the vital importance of “done” or “complete” in our routine maintenance tasks, and commit to “done” and “complete”.

We need to define for ourselves what done is, what done looks like.

I worked with an adult client many years ago who said that no one had ever explained to him what “clean your room” or “organize your desk” meant, even as a child. And if that is not something that you are used to, or, like this fellow, if it doesn’t come naturally for you, or if that is not the way your brain works, then being told to clean your room or organize your stuff is meaningless.

When my sons were little, instead of just saying go clean your room or go organize your dresser, I talked with them about what steps to actually take. When they were really little, pre-readers, I made a sign with pictures, like a picture of a bed to remind them to tidy up their bed, a picture of a laundry basket to remind them to put their dirty clothes in the hamper, a picture of a hanger to put their clean laundry away, put their books away, make sure the floor was relatively clear before they went to sleep (because who wants to step on a Lego in the dark, am I right?!). When it was clean, we would stand in the doorway and I asked them to take a mental picture of what “done” looked like, so they could get back to “done” on their own some day.

First, we need to know what “done” and “complete” look like and entail.

Another example: We get up and get ready for our day. Great. If we turn around, though, what does our home look like behind us? You know Pigpen from Peanuts, who always had the little cloud of dust behind him? What does it look like behind us? We got up, but did we take 30 seconds and make the bed? We took a shower, but did we take 11 seconds to hang up our towel or put it in the hamper?

What does the bathroom look like when we’re done? “Ready to leave” is one thing, and it is all about us as a body, and it’s very important, but is your space ready for you to leave? Truly “done” or “complete” requires the extra 30 seconds that we spend in the bathroom before we finish in there in the morning, where we hang up our towel and we straighten the shower curtain and we wipe the fingerprints and the dirt or anything off the sink, and we have put all of our stuff away that we use every day. Those last few steps are what maintains that minimal functionality in our spaces.

Because we’re going to have to do it all over again tomorrow.

Those last steps are also part of the routine tasks. We have routines around times and events to make them run more smoothly, and to set ourselves up to succeed next time, too. And those last steps are vital to that end.

In my presentations, I talk about my routine around taking my supplements every morning. I mention that I used to forget to take my supplements, but I anchored the supplement habit to my morning coffee habit and now I always remember to take my supplements. Adding a few details here, I take a few supplements that need to be on an empty stomach, and as I start my coffee, I take those right away. Then I leave the other batch, the later with food batch, on the counter so seeing them will help remind me to take them. Later, when I am headed out the door for my day, a glance at the counter while I grab my second cup of coffee will remind me to take the rest if I haven’t already. “Done” and “complete” look like a clear counter. Maintaining the maintenance, and also leaving a clean slate for the rest of my day. Because I am going to have to do it all over again tomorrow.

Another global example: Bill-paying. Your bills are paid – awesome! Hopefully, you have a routine around paying bills on time, a date in the calendar to take care of those! Again, awesome! And yes, that is an achievement we can celebrate! And… did we file the papers that were left after the bills were paid? Or empty the overflowing paper recycling bin in the office, or run the handful of papers that need shredded through the shredder? Or look ahead at when we are set to pay bills again and put that on the calendar, too? These final steps of the routine task of Paying Bills often get overlooked, and then their neglect adds to our mess or disorganization going forward.

Other places we can put this idea into practice:

Managing The Smalls by identifying them as smalls and setting our space up for maintenance. Add a garbage can nearby to toss everything you can, keep a jar there for loose change or an envelope for receipts. And take the 5 seconds to toss the trash and file the receipts.

Your work space at the end of the day? Set a timer for the last 5 minutes of your work day and set yourself up to succeed tomorrow. Done looks like cleared and waiting for us and tomorrow’s work.

After traveling, unpack completely and put the suitcase away. AWAY. Complete.

Making dinner and eating dinner, sure, but also cleaning up after dinner. Because tomorrow morning, we’re going to need to start the cycle again and a clean kitchen is a better place to start our day.

I worked with a different client the other day, and the timer on her phone went off when we still had 15 minutes of our appointment left. Because … she is wise and she knows we need to put stuff away. We made a few last labels with my label maker, put the bins of clothes in the closet, took out the trash, loaded the bags of donation into the back of my car, talked about what her next steps are to continue to making progress. We do the work, and then we have our routine around maintaining maintenance. Taking those last few moments to set ourselves up to succeed next time.

Consider your routines this week, and determine what Done and Complete look like for you, and then commit to maintaining the maintenance and setting ourselves up to succeed next time!

This Week, Clear Clutter and Prepare for Cold Weather!

The day this episode comes out, the day this article and newsletter drop, I am hosting a free “Clear the Clutter Webinar” via zoom, check my website, socials or newsletter for the link!

I want to talk about clearing clutter today.

Clearing clutter reaps benefits beyond a clearer surface. We live lighter, we’re less distracted visually, we are safer in our homes without things in our way as we walk and without clutter gathering dust, mold or mildew, germs and small critters. Taking positive action to improve our physical spaces provides positive boosts to our mood and energy level as well.

I feel like it’s time to clear some clutter. We don’t need a reason, but there are good reasons to clear clutter this time of year!

Yes, it is the change of seasons.

Yes, the clocks have changed, and the evenings are getting darker and darker earlier. And we’re nesting, as we spend more time inside our homes.

Yes, the holidays are approaching, but I am not going to focus on those today!

So, for cooler weather, for wellness, for the holidays, because it’s the right thing to do! Sometimes, we need to move physical clutter to create movement in our brains and calendars and energy, and now is as good a time as any!

As though in support of this topic today, I received an email from an author I follow (Jon Acuff, if you know you know!) that a great year in January starts in November. (I am paraphrasing, but it resonated with me!)

Let’s do this!

I started writing this article on November 1.

That morning, I put away the Halloween Decorations and washed my front door, because – ew. Lots of little finger prints and such from our visitors the night before. I also sent a bag of candy in to Greg’s office for the communal candy jar because we DO NOT need all of that candy in the house because we will just eat it. I intentionally enjoy the clear and undecorated look of November before adding Christmas decor on December 1, so after all the surfaces were clear again, I smiled and took a couple deep breaths.

So, de-decorate from Halloween if you haven’t yet.

Next up, the kitchen cabinets. Shelf by shelf, category by category, review the food in your cabinets for expiration dates. Toss anything that is expired or stale, then put stuff back grouped by category so you can find it again when you’re looking for it.

Now do some Pantry shopping. What is Pantry shopping? It is what it sounds like. It is intentionally using up what you have on hand, in the pantry, before going to the grocery. As you review your items in the cabinet, take note of items you already own that you can use in your menu plan for the next few weeks. Clear some cabinet space and save money by using foods you already own. In addition, with a few thoughts ahead for your holiday cooking, use this as an opportunity to inventory and plan your holiday food shopping.

Next stop – your refrigerator and freezer! Did you know, November 15th is National Clean Your Refrigerator Day? Let’s tackle the fridge and freezer like we tackled the cabinets! Start with the easy and obvious. Review your food, and toss anything that is expired or even questionable. Make note of any prepared food that you need to use up, and add the foods in your fridge and freezer to your menu plan for the next week to make some space and save some money. And, make note of what you might need to replace or stock up on.

Now that the kitchen is looking better, we can turn our attention elsewhere.

Let’s get clothes and shoes ready for the Cold.

Have you switched your clothes and closet for the season yet? Sadly, it is time to put away those summer items and bring out the sweaters. If your dresser and closet are crowded, the easiest way to make some space is to pull out strictly summer items and store them until Spring. For storage, tap underutilized storage space like the closet top shelf or under your bed.

It is also a great time to do a final check – clean your summer bedding, if you have it, and pack it all away until Spring. Or, take items to the drycleaner and set a reminder in a few weeks to pick them up.

How about your landing and launch pad spaces, front or back door? I just checked out the baskets by our back door. In warm weather, the baskets contain baseball caps, rain ponchos and umbrellas. I tossed anything that needed to go, brought out the hats and gloves and scarves, and put away the baseball caps and ponchos. The door where we come and go from is now ready for cooler temperatures.

Also, as you swap out the warm weather shoes and outerwear at those landing and launch spaces, or in your closet for colder weather items, now is a great time to collect any summer shoes or sandals, in my case, check them over and take them in for repairs now so they will be ready for you in 6 months!

Whew. Kitchen is looking better, areas where you come and go look better, your bedroom and closet is looking better, too. And… moving on…

Get your house ready for the colder weather:

  • It’s time to switch all the ceiling fans to clockwise for colder weather. Clockwise pushes the warm air back down.
  • By the time this episode drops, we will have checked the smoke detectors because we change the clocks this weekend.
  • We, or I will say, my hubby put away the patio furniture, rain barrels and gardening paraphernalia weeks ago. And the air conditioning unit got tarped until spring.
  • Now is the time to clear the outdoor walkways, and get your sidewalk salt ready!
  • Get your car ready for the cold, too – find that snow brush and ice scraper, and add some granola bars and a blanket to your car!

A few final words about recycling! In addition to Clean Your Refrigerator Day, November 15th is also America Recycles Day!

Cardboard – can we just talk for a minute about recycling your cardboard? We had boxes stashed on two different shelves, saving them for “later”. We had WAY too many and almost all of them went into the recycling bin. My typical answer about the question of cardboard is that more will always come. We can confidently break down and recycle what we have, because more will always come.

Anything else easy and obvious? Return items that need to be returned, drop off those bags of donations.

Spend some focused and dedicated time this week clearing clutter in important spaces, either in small bursts or one or two longer sessions, and reap the benefits for weeks to come!

Get Good At Transitions: Intros & Outros

I am going to start this article with the end in mind.

The last line is: “Get good at transitions with clear and consistent communications, a plan and focus, respect to timelines and occasional flexibility as needed.” And you will soon see why.

In addition to being an organizational coach and certified professional organizer, I am a liturgical musician. I have the supreme honor of enhancing worship with and for my community. In addition to enhancing worship, I also have the supreme honor of supporting my community in times of transitions, experiencing joys and sorrows at weddings, funerals, sacraments and holy days.

Recently, I had the true joy and privilege to sing at a wedding. The bride and groom were happy, the families were happy, the weather was perfect, there was a lovely feeling of celebration in the church. It was great. The benefit to planning for and singing for a wedding, as opposed to other sorts of liturgy, is that we have a lot of time to plan. I sat down with the bride and groom 7 months ago to review the order of the ceremony and fill in items like the readings. We also reviewed where in the ceremony there are opportunities for music, either instrumental or vocal or both, and discussed if they or their family members have specific requests and favorites. Since then, we texted, emailed and spoke, checking in again with the couple, their families and the deacon performing the ceremony.

Communication happened, everything was smooth sailing. The few hiccups that did occur were quickly managed.

Then it was the Saturday morning of the 2:30 pm Wedding. And everything was still fine, and continued to be – there is no cliff hanger here. I am not leading up to some big blow up. Everything was still sailing smoothly. But what occurred to me that day was, with months of planning for a 45 minute ceremony, that we needed to get VERY CLEAR on the 10 minutes before the ceremony began.

All the planning, all the rehearsing – and oh yes, I did rehearse – if my neighbors weren’t also singing the songs in their sleep after listening to me rehearse for the 2 weeks prior, I would be surprised. All the planning and all the rehearsing were for the ceremony itself, and we were super prepared. But success is often measured for such things as the ceremony, of course, but also how smoothly it begins and also ends.

It comes down to a few minutes, and then the moment. And… But?… And… we were ready. We had a clearly defined goal, laser focus on the goal, clear and consistent communications around the goal, and everyone did their part to prepare for the event. We were ready, AND I needed to nail those 10 minute leading up to the moment the bridal party stepped off.

It’s funny, because your perspective absolutely changes from six months out, reviewing the time line and checklists, hiring an accompanist, purchasing the sheet music, rehearsing, etc. Down to those last 600 seconds.

Shall we start playing the three minute and 47 second song at 2:24 as a prelude? But we have to make sure that the bride can hear it, because that was the one request she made to me via text the morning of the wedding. Or, as I thought about my chat that afternoon half an hour before the wedding with my friend, the mother of the bride, and how she mentioned that the only song that was specifically her choice was the song we were playing as the Mothers are seated. I had considered cutting it short (it also is 4 minutes), but she loves it, it was her only request, so guess what – yes, we played the entire song.

So, we had a goal and deadline and parameters, but the whole point of the day was to love and support the bride and groom and their families, so we made it all happen in that very short amount of time. We nailed that transition so the rest of the event could flow smoothly.

Similar thought process – soon after, my choir and I were warming up to sing at Mass and for whatever reason our Sunday morning rehearsal started late. We usually try to run through every song once in that Sunday morning rehearsal, but that day, we didn’t have as much time as we usually do. And when that happens, we focus on rehearsing the intros and outros. I don’t actually know if outro is a word, but if you talk to a musician, they know what intros and outros are. An intro is, for example, the first four measures of a song before the vocals begin. And the outro is how you plan to end the song – you vocally end with a whole note, then the instruments do another couple of measures, for example.

We know how the songs go, we aren’t worried about the middle. We just need to know we will start and end the same. Clear communications, a goal and focus, a clear plan. We need those intros and outros to be clean. If there is going to be a mistake, it is likely at those transition points and not in the middle of a verse. If we start messy, sometimes it throws us off and we miss other things in the song. And no one wants to finish rough because often, no matter how amazing the song was, people are going to remember the last 10 seconds and how you finished.

We focus on transitions, whether it is the few minutes before or after an event, or the first or last few seconds of a song, because those matter. Those are the most likely places to stumble, so we practice those even more than the rest.

This is not a music lesson, though it may sound like one. It’s a life lesson, with musical examples because I am me. Let’s look at how to apply solid intros and outros to life.

Our work or school days are predictable, for the most part. We know how to do our work and we know how to go to school. Our commute to and from work or school is relatively predictable, though sometimes we hit traffic or some other complication.

The more likely places we are to stumble in our day, the places that might stress us out or make us late, are the intros and outros, the transition for sleep to awake, from home to travel, the “leaving the house in a timely manner and well prepared” part.

Driving our car to school or work, and even doing our work isn’t where we stumble. Getting out of the house to drive, or leaving work on time to be ready for the rest of our day – that is where we stumble.

So the actual trip is no big deal, but if we don’t get our acts together, and so therefore don’t make it out the door in a timely manner and therefore we’re late for the rest of it, that is where we’re going to stumble. Right. Transitions. Transitions. Transitions are where we have the greatest opportunity and greatest incidents to stumble.

Let’s get really good at transitions.

Last week, I prepared to present at an event at a local community college. I love these events, it is great to go out and meet people! And I started my planning a few days before to make sure my transitions were solid. I made handouts ahead of time just in case my printer got cranky and I needed a Plan B. I purchased my promo materials months ago, and it’s all packed with my gear. I loaded everything into the car a day or two before, to make my day easier for the actual event. Anticipating the actual work, I had no worries about presenting or networking – those are easy. The potential transition that could slow down or mess up my day was changing out of client appointment clothes and into more snazzy presentation clothes, so I packed that bag ahead of time as well. And I knew how long the commute from my client appointment to the event should be, and allowing some cushion, I knew my hard stop time to get me where I needed to go.

Get good at transitions. We want to make sure we are as prepared as possible for those transitions. I’m never worried about my client appointments, but sometimes I’m worried about the commute, getting there, ending on time to get to my next appointment, and home again.

Let’s consider how we can practice those intros and outros even more. Keeping the analogy, when we practice intros and outros, we communicate ALOT beforehand about how we are going to start and finish, we imagine the song in our head, we set a tempo, we take a deep breath and then we begin.

“Get good at transitions with clear and consistent communications, a plan and focus, respect to timelines and occasional flexibility as needed.”

PSA: It’s Time To Organize Your Medicine Cabinet

Public Service Announcement this week!

In the past few years, I have moved away from writing and sharing specifically organizing articles and topics, but three different reminders came to me recently, and I feel like this is a great topic for this time of year. And I will be sharing a video, too, probably on my you-tube channel, as a trial run.

Let’s talk about… your medicine cabinet. Maybe your linen closet. Your kitchen cabinet. Your dresser or bedside table. What do all of these areas have in common? These are the likely places in most homes where medications, supplements, toiletries, etc., build up. And settle. And slowly expire while no one is watching.

To clarify, I am going to talk about bathroom medicine cabinets today, but also more globally about medications in general. Because not everyone stores their medications in the medicine cabinet.

In my presentations, I share the definition of clutter as “Clutter is anything you don’t need, use or love, and isn’t loving you back.” And seeking the proper reference for that quote sent me down a google rabbit hole, so if you know who said it, please tell me and I will share the proper credit!

Barbara Hemphill, considered one of the originators of the professional organizing industry, says “Clutter is Postponed Decisions”, which is also so true!

We can see that clutter is in itself annoying and troublesome. Having clutter, seeing clutter. But next level, clutter also covers up what we DO need and DO use and DO love. We need to check in on our medication and clean out our medicine cabinet, so as the weather gets colder, we can find what we need when we need it!

My three recent reminders were a conversation with an accountability partner, a client medicine cabinet project, and a reminder about Covid 19 home tests!

On my biweekly call with one of my accountability partners, she mentioned she is participating in a clutter challenge where they tackle one area a day for 5 minutes. And the recent area was the medicine cabinet!

Then… I worked with a client and spent 2.5 hours getting through and organizing her medicine cabinet, under the bathroom sink and a bathroom cabinet – three garbage bags and done!

And then, I received an email that we can again order Covid Tests free through the USPS, and I know, without even checking, that we don’t have any. I filled out the online form and my free tests are on their way. When they arrive, I will put them away in a specific place in the hall linen closet where that type of item lives.

Obviously, I am meant to talk about Medicine Cabinets, etc. this week!

Let’s get to it!

Clear Some Work Space:

Clean off the bathroom counter, reviewing all the items first and purging anything that can go.

Collect some garbage bags, a note pad or grocery list and a freezer bag or two.

Open the medicine cabinet, and take note of where things are now. As in, where do you always reach for your toothbrush, or where do you always keep the first aid items so you can find a band-aid in a flash?

Take it all out. Yes, take it all out. Wipe down all the surfaces. Yes, all the surfaces. It is likely you have not cleaned out the medicine cabinet in a while, or ever, and the surfaces could be sticky and dusty from years of neglect.

Collect All The Things:

Collect all the medication from those different areas, or tackle them individually. Your choice. But please consider the different areas as part of a larger theme, and tackle them all within a short amount of time because there is typically SO MUCH OVERLAP.

Too many spaces for storing our medications can lead to duplicates, a forest of partially used products, and items that expire before they can be fully used up. And with many storage spaces, we still can’t always find what we need when we need it!

Purge, and Take Notes of What You Purge:

Review, review, review. Pick up and look at each item. Item by item, review expiration dates, intended use, and just how it looks.

If a medication is expired, you likely need to let it go. Into the trash if it is an OTC item, and into a baggie to be dropped off at a hazardous waste collection site or event if it is a prescription medication.

And If a medication doesn’t look right, doesn’t seem like the right color, isn’t the consistency you expected – it likely needs to go, too. Better safe than sorry. Sometimes an item expires to you, too. For example, a client had bottles of Infant Tylenol and teething gel, and her “baby” is 6 years old.

Make a note of what you purge. If it is an item you still need to have on hand, add it to your shopping list. There are some items that you likely NEED to have on hand. Cooler weather is coming, and with it, a higher possibility of illness.

Location and Containers Matter:

Once you have reviewed your items, it is time to put them away. Consider how and where you want to put things back. Consider who is using the medications, or if the medications need to be kept out of the reach of children or pets.

Keep in mind, too, that often medicine cabinet shelves are adjustable. On the recent client project, I took out one shelf and adjusted the other shelf to better accommodate tall items that she was struggling to store. I have a very short shelf in my medicine cabinet for combs and toothbrushes, which leaves more room on other shelves for taller things.

Another idea, years ago I worked with a client who was a nurse and suggested she sort her medicine in her cabinet into two baskets, one for chronic issues like daily medications and supplements, and one for acute issues like “I have a cold, I have an upset stomach”. This idea resonated with her, and we put the daily basket on the lower shelf because it was easier to access and right at eye level!

As you assign a home for your medications and supplements, please consider that warm damp areas are THE WORST place to keep your medications and supplements. Extreme heat or damp can negatively impact the quality and efficacy of a medication. And bathrooms and kitchens tend to be warm and damp. If you need to store medications or supplements in the bathroom or kitchen, make sure they are out of direct sunlight and away from heat sources like your stovetop or oven.

I rarely tell people to buy containers, but medication needs to be easily identified, within code, readily accessible and within reach. With these qualifications in mind, we can see that medications and supplements can benefit from storage in specific containers. I love these containers, clear storage containers, for storing and accessing medications. Measure your space and order accordingly. My favorite source is Amazon, but you can find similar items at your big box home good stores or The Container Store.

I am sorry to say: wicker is gross, at least for medications and toiletries. It harbors dust and moisture. Wicker doesn’t contain leaks, wicker baskets are typically not a standard size and they are impossible to deep clean. Please consider clear containers for storage.

Next steps!

Now, how to responsibly dispose of medications that you need to part with? Over the counter medications are typically safe to put in the trash. DO NOT flush any medications as they should NOT be in our water supply.

October 26, 2024 is a National Take Back Day. National Take Back Days happen in April and October, and are national initiatives to help the public properly and safely dispose of unused and unwanted medications. Check out the DEA website or google Take Back Day October 2024 for locations and events in your community. In addition, many municipalities have permanent drop-off containers for every day. For example, I can drop off unwanted prescription medications at my local police department.

The other important next step is to re-stock any medications that you needed to purge, so that you have the items on hand when you need them. You know you and your household the best, but there are also some medications that we are all recommended to have in hand, such as an antihistamine for allergic reactions, acetaminophen (Tylenol) or ibuprofen (Advil) for fevers, etc. Check out this article from the Cleveland Clinic for recommendations, including the above suggestions and also cold and flu remedies, gastrointestinal relief and first aid supplies, etc., or google the question for yourself.

This is a great project to work on, in general, as it improves your health and also saves money by helping you focus on what you have and what you need and purging the rest. And who doesn’t like clearer spaces in your bathroom or kitchen?! Give it a try!

College Bound? Organize Your Dorm and Small Spaces

(This content started out as a 90 minute in-person presentation, and what you are reading today was the handout, so many of the tips are in list form.)

First, let me remind you: At this time, your priorities might not be the same as your student’s priorities. We can’t control how others feel.  If your student, like mine, has no plans for decorating his or her space beyond the necessities, so be it.

Sending a student off to college? Or is an adult child moving to their first apartment? Enjoy this Grand New Adventure! And, get it organized!

Planning ahead makes these days flow smoothly. I said these quotes to my son and his friend just last week:

“If you fail to plan, you are planning to fail!” (Ben Franklin) and
“In preparing for battle I have always found that plans are useless, but planning is indispensable.”  (Dwight D. Eisenhower)
 
So, let’s do this!

  • Get the list of recommended items from your school.
  • Virtual tours, and on-line schematics are also available for some schools.
  • Check Target, BB&B and elsewhere for lists, but DON’T buy everything on the lists!
  • Your student can ask for gift cards for graduation.  Check into stores close to campus, too.
  • At Orientation, we can determine what’s provided and have a chance to measure rooms and spaces. Refrigerators?  Microwaves?  Box fans? 
  • Collaborate with roommates, or start the search among friends or on Facebook.  Your students don’t need more than one coffee maker or popcorn maker, cleaning supplies, mirrors, etc., either. 
  • Start early to spread new expenses over a few months, and to give you all time to think and plan clearly.

You and your student can tackle organizing dorm rooms and small spaces the same way we organize for any project. We can use the 5 Step Organizing Process via Julie Morgenstern in her book Organizing From The Inside Out. Those 5 steps are Sort, Purge, Assign a Home, Containerize and Equalize.
 
The Sort and Purge steps go along with packing as your student gets ready to move.

  • Pack like with like; but also get things ready to use.
    • For example, as your student packs their bedding and towels, keep one set of bedding and towels right on top to use immediately when they get to their new space.
    • This makes making the bed so much easier.
    • And they can leave the rest of their bedding and towels packed until after they have set up their space.
  • Shop at home first for their stuff, to save $$ and make them more comfortable.
    • For example, my son and I were just discussing bed pillows this afternoon, and how he should pack his favorites from home to ensure a good nights sleep.
    • In addition, he is taking his bedspread from home because he really likes it.
    • I can replace the spread and his home pillows with items we already own.
  • It’s difficult to purge at this point, since our students are acquiring things at this stage. But they can choose to leave some things behind.

 Assign a Home / Containerize:  SHOPPING:

  • When considering storage for any spaces, dorms or home – utilize vertical space as much as possible.
    • Consider a bed-side bag for bedside items (especially if the bed is lofted).
      • Space bags / Ziploc totes and bags;
      • Consider over-the-the door towel hanger / coat rack / shoe holder / pockets:  for shoes, but also snacks and such. 
      • Double-hang the closet rods.
      • Use narrow metal / felted hangers.
  • You’re going to need at least a few surge protectors, and make sure they have long cords.
  • 3M Command hooks, cord keepers, photo hanging strips.
  • Plan for under-bed storage.
  • Consider tension rods for fabric covers / partitions (shower curtains and rings are awesome, too).
  • The 80/20 says we use 20% of our stuff 80% of the time.  So keep the 20% handy, and the 80% less handy.  
  • Consider multipurpose storage / furniture:
    • Collapsible / convertible / nesting / re-purpose-able storage; stackable, and with lids.
    • Trunks, as storage and extra seating (but don’t pack it full of heavy stuff).
    • Invest in good and matching items.  Higher quality is worth the added expense, and matching (clear, from same manufacturer) items will have the added bonus, typically, of nesting.
    • Packable bins.  Store stuff in them when you move back home for the summer.   Get them the same size so that they stack neatly when not in use
  • No matter what: When Shopping for storage items for dorms or new small spaces: Buy extra of good solutions, but be prepared with the receipt to return them if they’re not needed. 
    • There may be lots of things that come home after moving day, like boxes and suitcases.
  • Packing / Actual Move:
    • Assume that your move in / settle in time with your student will be limited.
    • Bring your own rubber mallet.
    • Right on top, have the Last In / First Out Box
      • soaps, clorox wipes, paper towels, cleaning supplies, snacks
      • tool box, Command hooks, and first aid kit, too
      • But mostly, bring your own rubber mallet for lofting the bed.
      • Bring your own hand cart, too. There are often carts and things to use, but they will be in high demand. So bring your own, as well.
  • Map out dorm room and where each box / its contents are to be unloaded.  Everyone should know the plan.
  • Set up the dressers away the same at home (like use a really big Ziploc bag to pack at home, and then empty out in the drawer at school)
  • As a parent – let me tell you now. Your student might not want help setting up their space beyond the physical labor of getting their stuff to their dorm room and lofting the bed or arranging the furniture. That is a conversation for your student and their roommate, or for them to decide on their own. Maybe they want you there, and maybe it is time to leave.

EQUALIZING (Maintenance):

  • Pack for current season, your student will likely be home before really cold weather. (But pack pants)
  • Make sure they have skills for independent living.
    • How to do laundry (and how often), how to sew a button, iron a shirt
    • First Aid and Illness kit; explain what things do – Tylenol, cold medicine, stomach distress, etc.
    • Grocery shopping, nutrition and a little cooking
    • General cleaning, how to and how often.

What to do with the bedroom that’s left behind:

  • Mourn just a little.  Then do a deep and thorough cleaning of the area.  Clothes, bedding, walls, carpets, garbage.
  • Spend just a little time on organizing during home visits, asking specific questions about specific items.
  • Do not take over your student’s space.  They will come home again, and will need their space again. 

I hope this process goes smoothly for you and your loved one!

College First-Aid Kit and Skills To Go With It

I’m writing this with two specific young adults in mind. And all of our our college students. And, well, the rest of us, too.

I had a conversation recently with a friend regarding the difference between “health and wellness” and “medical” issues. Sometime when I am working on paper management with clients, they lump articles regarding yoga with their lab results from a year ago into the same file and category. And while both are important to overall wellness, they really should be considered two different areas.

Let’s start out talking about Wellness. The best strategies for overall wellness, for all of us, are to eat well, exercise, stay hydrated and get adequate sleep.

In addition to managing their wellness, however, some college students have chronic health challenges that they also manage while in college that require daily monitoring and medication. Diabetes, ADHD, depression, anxiety and seizures are just a few. The habits around managing these challenges should be discussed and supported with your student.

Examples of physical support for chronic challenges might be a special dorm refrigerator to keep insulin refrigerated, local pharmacies or mail order pharmacies to maintain medication supplies, and providing a portable safe for the dorm room to protect medications.

Supports around habits and routines can look like timers and alarms to remind a student to take their medications, informing the university of chronic challenges, and establishing supportive parental protocols and troubleshooting solutions with your student to common problems before they head off to campus.

And, then there are minor (we hope) emergencies and illnesses that pop up for all of us, so please consider sending your student to college with a First Aid Kit. Since this might be the first time that your teen has been away from home, a good kit full of supplies is a great going back to school gift. Pack the basics, plus information on how to use the supplies and when to see someone at the campus health center.

What to Pack

First, figure out what it is you need to pack. Start with the basics for if your student has a cut, scrape or minor burn. Consider packing:

  • Adhesive bandages in all sizes.
  • Non-stick gauze – To cover larger wounds.
  • Adhesive tape – To help secure the gauze.
  • Antibiotic ointment – To prevent infections in a wound or minor burn.
  • Teach wound care basics, too: wash it, dry it, keep it dry. Alcohol stings and peroxide does not. And discuss when to seek medical attention (like if it continues to bleed, or the wound looks red and sore afterwards).

For sprains, strains and other similar injuries consider packing:

  • Elastic bandage – To wrap and provide compression for sprains and strains.
  • Ice pack – For when an injury first occurs.
  • Warm pack or heating pad – For bringing warmth and blood flow to an older injury.

When you need medication for a headache or heartburn, it’s nice to have some over-the-counter medications on hand and avoid a trip to the store. Pack:

  • Acetaminophen – Great for headaches and other aches and pains. Advise your college student not to use acetaminophen if he or she is going to be drinking alcohol. The combination of the two can cause liver damage. Alcohol and acetaminophen taken within a few hours of each other is a significant problem, but regular alcohol drinkers should avoid acetaminophen at any time.
  • Ibuprofen – Also great for headaches and particularly for pain from inflammation or swelling. Be aware that ibuprofen can be irritating to the stomach, so it’s still important for your college student to avoid alcohol when using this medication.
    • And, discuss when to use Acetaminophen and when to use Ibuprofen.
  • Antacids – With all of the new foods your teen will be experiencing, these are nice to have on hand.
  • Diphenhydramine (Benadryl) – Whether it’s an itchy bug bite or a stuffy nose from a friend’s dog, diphenhydramine is great for allergies of many kinds.
  • Other OTC allergy medication or cold medicine – some make us sleepy, some rev up our hearts. Read the instructions and be aware of what you taking.
  • Cough drops/sore throat lozenges – For minor throat pain, these can be great to soothe the irritation and scratchy feeling in the throat. (Honey has also been shown to calm a cough – but that might be messy in a first aid kit!)

Some other tools are great to have in a first aid kit. Think about packing:

  • Tweezers – From removing ticks to removing splinters, tweezers are essential in a first aid kit.
  • Thermometer – Your student might feel hot, but is it a fever? He or she won’t know without a thermometer. Get a regular oral digital thermometer, and make sure your teen knows how to use it.
  • Eye wash – If your teen gets something in his or her eye, like a chemical, dust or even irritating vapors, an eye wash is great to have on hand. Plain water can be used, but an eye wash is a nice extra. If eye wash is needed, though, a 911 call or trip to the emergency room is a good idea, or at least a follow-up visit to campus health services.

What to Pack It In

Now it is time to figure out what you will pack the supplies in. Any durable plastic box with a lid will do. Camping supply stores will often carry water-proof boxes that are used for camping. They are very sturdy and have a rubber gasket that will seal out any moisture. Because many first aid supplies can be ruined by water, these boxes are ideal. A clear box is also a good idea because it allows anyone to figure out what is in the box at a glance, in case of an emergency.

Don’t Forget a Few Extras

It is a great idea to include a card in the first aid kit that provides some basic health information about your student in the case of an emergency. Also, add the telephone numbers that your child might need. Information to include:

  • Insurance card – your student should carry this with them in their wallet all the time.
  • Telephone number for your child’s personal physician.
  • Campus health’s telephone number – When your teen has a fever, most times it isn’t practical to run home for care. Campus health has providers that specialize in college health and can manage many common illnesses.
  • Telephone number for your student’s health insurance – What doctor or specialist can your teen see when at school? Does your student need preauthorization for a medical procedure that is needed? Call the customer care telephone line and find out what the insurance will or will not cover.

College students should also have a few other things in the first aid kit or with them at school.

  • If your student has a chronic medical condition (seizures, diabetes, etc), he or she should have a medical alert bracelet or necklace. (There are even medical alert tattoos and thankfully that can’t be misplaced!)
  • Any personal medical information should be included on a card in your teen’s wallet and in the first aid box.
    • Personal medical information includes blood type, allergies to medicine, allergies to food or anything else that causes a severe reaction, physician’s name and office information, any medical conditions, medications taken on a regular basis, and emergency contact information (your name and any telephone numbers you could be reached at).

Packing up a few first aid essentials is a great gift for your teen. It’s also a reminder to always stay safe and a lesson in how to take care of problems while away from home. All that in one kit!

Hope In Normalizing: “I Can Do This, Too”

This week, I want to introduce an idea called Normalizing, and why I think it is a useful and hopeful idea.

I was talking to a friend recently about a health challenge she is facing.

She was saying that we can believe we are all alone in what we are suffering with because we’ve never really talked about it with anyone.  However, when you start talking to people about your health issue, suddenly you find out that the problem is common, that many people have the same problem, or at least know somebody with the problem.

Ummm… let’s say gallbladder issues.  (And no, I do not have gallbladder issues, and neither does she, I’m just using this as an example).

Imagine: I’m feeling fine, and then one day, I’m not feeling so fine.  I muddle through for a few weeks or even months, with flare-ups and the like, getting better between and then another flare up happens. I finally go to the doctor. They run their tests, give me a diagnosis, share some strategies with me and also schedule a surgery because the gallbladder has to be removed.

Now that I know more and need to make plans, I mention my health challenge at work (because I need time off), or I bring it up with friends or family or the lady at the grocery store because now that I have a diagnosis and a plan, I feel more comfortable talking about it…

And when I bring it up, I find out that EVERYONE has had this problem, or knows someone who has had this problem.

You know the stories you hear, “my husband / wife / parent / child / coworker / friend / sibling has or had this problem”. We all may want to feel special and unique, but probably not when it comes to our gallbladder!

Hearing the stories about how what we thought was one-of-a-kind really isn’t… that is not a bad thing. I actually consider it kind of a good thing.  It feels hopeful to me.

In coaching, we talk about normalizing. Per Dictionary.com, Normalizing may mean “to cause (something previously considered abnormal or unacceptable) to be treated as normal”. 

This can be negative like when we learn to tolerate something that might be negative so that it becomes our new normal.  But it can also be a positive thing, when we expand our understanding of what can be typical and normal, so we no longer feel shame or worry about an issue or circumstance.

As in, when you find out that this issue that you’re having that is probably really rocking your world if you are in the middle of it and things are sore or are uncomfortable is actually 100% survivable.  And do-able.

Like when you’ve got something medical going on and all you seem to do is go to doctor’s appointments and do follow-up and it feels like a full-time job. And it’s really impacting your life and you feel frustrated. You feel like you’re alone in this. Like no one is going to understand. 

And yet, they will.

We can’t necessarily see our way through this situation because we have never been in it before.  We don’t know how long it will take, or when we may start to feel better.  But… other people know.  Other people have faced it and have come out the other side.

So we normalize. We normalize because sometimes we need to hear that we are not alone in whatever it is we’re going through. Sometimes we need to feel like we’re not alone AND that someone else in a similar situation has figured it out.

They have figured it out. And therefore, so can I.

If somebody else has figured all this out, I can too. And there is hope. There is hope in that. I can, too.

Let’s switch it up, I will use Blackberry Jam as an analogy.

Last year I learned how to make and can jam. Like preserves, hot water bath, mason jars, shelf stable, etc.

I had promised a loved one that I would find someone to make jam for an event, and I did not find a jam maker so I became the jam maker.   Here’s the thing.  I knew that I could.  I had a working knowledge of what was involved. And we have YouTube and websites and books, plus there is Amazon.com for ordering the tools.  It’s all there.  It’s all learnable. It’s all there. I knew I could do it.

I like to think I am pretty smart, and I am definitely curious and open to learning.  And hey, people living hundreds of years ago with none of the resources I have now figured it out.  I can do this.  And I did. And it was good!

Now I know how to make jam and also preserve it.  I’m pretty sure I still have some in my cabinet from last Fall. I still have all the tools and the know-how, to do it again. We can call that normalized.

Sometimes, my coaching clients or myself or any one of us, really, can think that the situation that we find ourselves in at this moment is so singular that no one has ever figured out what to do about it. And therefore, we can’t even hope to make things better.

And that’s not true.  I’m here to tell you that’s not true because I guarantee you there have been similar situations where people have figured things out and have come through on the other side just fine.

I consider normalizing to be optimistic. I consider normalizing, when done right, to be hopeful. When we are in the midst of something that we don’t know how to figure out, it’s hopeful to know that someone else figured it out. You are most likely able, you’re going to be able to figure it out as well.  And next time, you can be the resource for somebody.

We have more resources right now than we ever had ever in history to figure things out, ever. You have more resources now than anyone has ever had before. Whoa.

But it’s true. We have more knowledge now than anyone has ever had before. How hopeful and optimistic is that?! It’s awesome. And, if you want to figure things out for yourself, I am here to help. 

Re-Entry After Travel: Bumps in the Road

Let’s call this one Re-Entry 2.0, or “Things to do your first 24 hours home!“

We traveled the last week of May for a family wedding in Baltimore.

In the interest of getting the Midwest grandparents (4) to the East Coast wedding, last Fall we rented a 15 passenger van for the event. This was my husband’s idea and it was brilliant. He and I took turns driving on the 11-ish hour trip to and from Baltimore. Seriously, he is brilliant. He even downloaded to his phone the top 100 songs from 1963 as a road-trip soundtrack. Our passengers were happy.

Here is a picture of the bus, or officially, the “Bus (NotSchoolBus)”. I’m calling it a “Bus (NotSchoolBus)” because that is the category type listed for it on the Safety Compliance Certification Label, a.k.a., the door jamb label.

Here's a shot of me and my co-pilot somewhere on the Pennsylvania Turnpike.
Me and my co-pilot (my son) somewhere on the Pennsylvania Turnpike.

The wedding was beautiful and the reception was great! I am so happy for my niece and my new nephew. They are delightful people who deserve every good thing in life. I love the rest of my family, too. There were good times and great memories made. For the most part, every bit of planning yielded the expected and desired results. Lots of laughs, some Euchre (IFKYK), lots of food, adventures, ice cream, hiking and hanging out and of course the wedding!

AND there were a few snags. I will not go into details, but I will say that everyone is fine and now home. However, after two ambulance rides and ER visits, the Courtyard by Marriott Baltimore BWI may never let our family stay there again. Ever. And I don’t really blame them for that.

There were many uncertainties as we returned and some concern that we may have to adjust our travels or even travel back to Baltimore. And because of all the extra unexpected pieces, being intentional about re-entry was more important than ever. Here are suggestions to help you tackle Re-Entry and also set yourself up to succeed and even to travel again!

A cloudy and choppy day in Annapolis, MD

Unpack the car.

All the way. Yes, all the way. This is our usual practice, but it became necessary and not optional because we had to return the bus to the rental company. Everything had to come out of the bus, all luggage, all rubbish was disposed of, etc.

We also might take the car to the carwash and give it a vacuum, if we had traveled in our own car.

Unpack the bags.

All of them. YES, all of them.

You don’t want to wait and find a neglected apple or granola bar in your hiking backpack a few weeks down the road. Or dirty clothes or shoes, etc. Unpack the bags.

I was reminded of how important this step is when I found my mom’s handicap parking hangtag in one of our bags. Did I mention? My family lives in Michigan, and I live in Chicago. Thankfully I found the hangtag right away and it was out via UPS overnight delivery first thing the next morning.

Multiple loads of laundry were started and completed, and the dressier items like suits and dresses were taken to the cleaners.

Put the bags away.

Yes AWAY. All the bags. You could argue that if I was worried that I might have to travel again for an emergency, perhaps it would make sense to leave a suitcase out. And as an organizer, I will say – unless you know you have a trip planned, it never makes sense to leave a suitcase out. Working with so many clients over the years, very often I will walk into a closet or bedroom or basement storage space or garage, and one of the first things we do to make improvements is to put away the luggage that never made it back to its storage space. Such an obvious solution. Take the few extra minutes and put the bags away.

Toiletries: Re-fill and repack, order extras.

I know I have spoken about this step before, in podcasts last Spring and Summer. It was even more important that I re-filled and re-packed my supplies this week, though, in case I need to travel again soon.

Recharge stuff.

I have a power bank that lives in my travel tech bag, and I used it on our adventure. Not knowing what this week might bring, I made sure to re-charge it. I charged my portable keyboard for my IPad for the same reason. My daily habit, travel or not, is to recharge my phone, AirPods, Apple watch and IPad at night so those are good to go whenever.

Buy groceries.

We needed to restock A LOT of items when we got back from our adventures, and I knew that was a necessity even before we left. I planned a trip to Costco for our first day back and I let Costco do the cooking this week (I’m looking at you, rotisserie chicken, stuffed peppers and backed chicken alfredo). Later that day, I placed the Jewel grocery order for all the stuff I don’t buy at Costco. Within 24 hours of arriving home, the cabinets and fridge were back to normal levels.

So this next step is where the Re-Entry 2.0 comes in.

We were gone for 6 days! And it was awesome! As I described in a text today, “Weekend was mostly amazing, with just a few snags”. I can unpack, repack and re-stock. I can re-charge actual batteries.

But… I also need to re-charge metaphorical batteries.

With the few snags, I actually asked for flexibility and grace via email and texts when people needed something from me this week. I don’t usually feel the need to explain myself or excuse a delay, but this week was not a typical week for lots of reasons.

I restocked groceries, purchased prepared foods and I didn’t expect myself or anyone else to cook. I slept. I was very tired. At writing time, I still am. These last few days, I gave up trying to stay up when my brain and body said ‘enough’. I re-committed to most of my healthy habits: hydrated, returned to exercising, healthier food options, etc.. And, I set myself up to succeed in case I was called away out of town again.

Now… I just need to tackle the rest of the to-do list! But that is another episode for another day!