Category: professional development

Is It Really Procrastination? Or Are We Unknowing or Unable?

Perhaps you have noticed, or perhaps you haven’t: I don’t talk much about procrastination.

I think it’s time.

And that is funny, yes? That I’ve waited this long to talk about procrastination?

Yep, there’s that word. I don’t talk about it. Similar to my feelings that I shared in my article and podcast about Overwhelm, I feel the word Procrastination is overused and misunderstood.

Procrastination IS. That it exists is undeniable.  It is a feeling, a strategy, an occurrence. It’s a lot of things. It can be all of those things and more.

But I don’t talk about it because it’s also too easy. It is too easy to just wave off an occurrence of not getting something done and say, “Yes, I procrastinated.” It’s too easy, and it’s not helpful.

And that’s the bigger problem.  When it is used in conversation, the word Procrastination is not specific enough to actually help us figure out what the solution should be. We tend to only look at the symptom instead of digging deeper. 

Imagine: I have a stuffy nose. I can blow my nose, and that solves the current problem. But I get stuffy again.  Or blowing my nose DOESN’T solve the problem, and I’m still stuffy. Stuffy is a symptom, not the cause.  The cause may be allergies, a cold, the flu or something else.

Similarly, if we don’t look at WHY we’re procrastinating, or get specific around what exactly the problem is, we’re unlikely to make anything more than temporary progress. We need to get specific about procrastination, both the word and the event!

So, let’s get specific!

The definition of procrastination is “the action of delaying or postponing something:”, or to “willfully choose to NOT do something for absolutely no good reason”, or “to put off intentionally and habitually the doing of something that should be done”. Now, in truth, there are many people – all the time! – who willfully choose to not do something purely for the sake of not doing it.

So I’m not saying that it doesn’t exist, but I am saying that very often when we say, “Ugh, I need to stop procrastinating on this thing”, what we’re really saying is, I know that I need to do it and it’s important, but there’s still something stopping me from doing it. And so what could that be? Again, back to that overwhelm definition or that strategy when we were taking apart that word.

But today, we’re going to look at two reasons why we delay action that are mislabeled as procrastination. Sometimes we delay for no good reason, but sometimes we delay because we lack the know-how or the resources to get something done.

And this is going at be at least a 2 part series!

Let me share a few theories on why we procrastinate, or more specifically, why we call something procrastination, and it actually isn’t procrastination.

In my podcast and my writings, I have talked about essential structures in Coaching. They are Support, Self-knowledge, Action and Education.  And essential structures are the scaffolding. They’re the essential structures that are required for us to actually do things that need done. They are the things, the people, the habits, the knowledge that help us live what we consider successful lives. We have scaffolding, we have strategies that we can use to help us to live more successful lives.

And sometimes we don’t have those things that we need to take action on a task or a project. So we’re procrastinating on it because, for example, we lack the know-how to do something.

For example: I knew I wanted to formalize my business. But It took me months if not a year or two to determine if I needed my company structure to be a C Corp, an S Corp, or an LLC. I felt like I was procrastinating which is not comfortable for me! But in truth, I was thinking about it. I was researching my options, reading things online, working through worksheets. I did all the things, but I still lacked the knowledge to make the right decision. And even if I decided one way or the other, I lacked the legal expertise to actually set it up.

So it’s not that I wasn’t doing anything. I was taking steps, but they weren’t the right steps, because, honestly, that’s not my wheelhouse. Those are not my strengths. And thank goodness I figured that out.

I do not need to learn how to do it,  which is what I was unsuccessfully trying to do.

What I needed to do was find an expert and let them help me. So I called my attorney, Eileen, and said, “Hey, I’m trying to figure this out. You know me, you know my business. I want know formalize my business and register with the state, protect my name and my family’s assets, separating my company business from personal business.

She replied that I needed an LLC and that she could set that up for me. And every year, her office sends in my paperwork to the state to keep it current. It costs a certain amount, and I sign off on it every year, and then it was done. So that is an example of when what looks like procrastination was me not seeing the path forward until I called in an expert. Sometimes we lack the know how, and that’s okay.

Most importantly, being aware of what the real problem is can help us seek the right solution.

Another reaction of NOT DOING that we could call Procrastination may actually be a lack of resources.  Let’s define what a resource is. In this example, a resource is a commodity that we already possess. A resource is our own brain, our education, our experiences. It can be time, it can be money, it can be energy. When I talk about resources and productivity, those three – time, money and energy, are the three I talk about the most.

For example: For a very long time, I wanted to start a podcast. I was very excited at the prospect. I had it all thought out. I had reached out to and spoken with the expert in my community who had a successful podcast.  This expert became my producer Chris because he also hosts and produces podcasts for other people.

My brand community had asked me for a podcast. 

I am a pro at professional speaking and singing, so I’m comfortable behind a microphone.

Many people struggle with consistent content for a podcast, but I was already in the habit of producing content every week for my community, so that wasn’t a stretch.

I had a plan.  I had the know how. I had the supportive people around me, to help me with it, too.

But what I was worried about were resources. Finding the time to add another task, another responsibility to my already full to-do list. 

This was not news. I knew I wanted to start a podcast for years, but I did not have the time to add the podcast in while in the midst of everything else, working full time, managing a household, being present for my family, doing all the things that I needed to do.

Last Fall, my youngest left for college.  And if I haven’t mentioned lately, I adore my kids, my people.  They are the coolest humans on the planet. I do not begrudge one moment I have spent with them.

But I didn’t procrastinate on starting the podcast as much as I chose to not make it happen for a time.  As my responsibilities shifted, I launched my podcast in November of last year. 

Sure, I talked about it for a long time without acting.  At times, when I was frustrated with myself, I would accuse myself of procrastination. But honestly, I knew the opportunity was coming soon and I was waiting for the resource of time became available, and that is the answer. I wasn’t procrastinating as much as I was recognizing how I and the people around me needed to spend my resources.

And what is the awareness here?

Don’t use the term procrastination without digging deeper! Are you procrastinating around something because you don’t know HOW to do it?  Or you lack the resources to make it happen? Well then let’s call the problem what it really is – a lack of know how or resources, and then actively do something to remedy the problem!

Find Focus and Fight Distraction!

Recently, I recorded a live video on my back deck. I wanted to talk about Focus. I was feeling out of focus, just blurry. And I was taking steps to get back on track and thought that would be helpful to my community to talk through.

What is really funny to me is that the video did not go well!

The day before, a friend had mentioned that she had “seen my car videos on Instagram”. I do not want that to Be The Thing! “Colleen recording from her Car”! So, I wanted to shake things up a little. I couldn’t record from my front stairs, as I have also done, because we were watering the grass that morning. So, back deck was plan C. I scrapped the first recording. On my second try, as soon as I started recording, my neighbor came out of his house (I live in the Chicago area and my back door is very close to my neighbor’s back door). So I adjusted. And then his dog – and I like my neighbors and the dog – started barking. And then there was a train a mile away that decided to blow its horn. A Lot.

You get the idea.

And this was a recording about focus. Life is just funny.

Sometimes I feel out of focus. I think we all do.

I could spend time dissecting WHY I lost focus. And that is important long term, I suppose. Personally, I am clear on WHY I was feeling unfocused last week. But for today’s purpose, I want to talk about how to find focus again, sharing basic tools to Find Focus and Fight Distraction.

First, we have to start with recognizing the lack of focus. Then, we can think about what to do about it!

When I teach productivity and time management, I mention that one of the most empowering things to know is that we ourselves can change and improve our situation for better productivity and satisfaction. Knowing there are adjustments that I can make helps me to feel better immediately!

So the topic of Focus, and what adjustments we can make when focus is lacking. Because I know for me, I can’t always force focus. And sometimes I try. Early in lockdown, it came to light that I talk to myself while I work from home. Often, to loudly tell myself to FOCUS! And yelling at me, forcing focus… doesn’t work.

Let’s look at what DOES work!

  • The first step, as it always is in coaching, is Awareness. In this case, awareness that you’re out of focus.
  • I have several check-in points in my days:
    • I can use times of transition – like leaving the house, or coming home, or leaving a client’s house or arriving at my next appointment; or
    • There are natural times, too, like getting up, getting out of the shower, transitioning from work day to family time, etc., and these are all great opportunities to check in on myself and my focus.
  • Many times a day, I do a Body Scan
    • If I am feeling unfocused, I can ask some easy questions and check in with me.
    • First question is, What needs need to be met?
      • Maybe I am STARVING! Yep, that can steal focus and cause distraction.
        • Blood sugar can dip, our brains (and bodies) need food and energy to function.
      • Maybe I am Thirsty.
      • I can check in on that body scan – is there anywhere that I am holding tension? Do I have pain or discomfort anywhere?
      • Am I too hot or too cold? I have to say, in summer, I often find myself unfocused because my office is REALLY HOT in the late afternoon and that makes me drowsy. So, I can pull the blinds, turn on a fan, move to a different area of the house, etc! If I’m aware!
      • Maybe it’s time to get up, stretch, take a nature break, etc!
  • Awareness, too – Here is something we don’t often realize that affects us: Our senses.
    • Working in a too dark or too light room can be distracting, even if we don’t realize it. So, check in!
    • Noises – more or less – yes, these matter, too!  Often, we have auditory distractions that are not consciously registering.  So, intentionally scan our selves and our surroundings can help us adjust our environment
  • Other tools we can use:
    • Breathwork:
      • Also in my time management classes, I teach basic breathwork.
      • I teach my participants square breathing – Inhale for 4 counts, hold for 4 counts, exhale for 4 counts and hold 4 counts. That’s IT! This can be a 30-60-90 second exercise – I usually call it a mini-vacation – where we concentrate just on our breath.
      • The re-focusing of our thoughts with the added bonus of an more oxygenated brain almost always helps me to refocus.
    • The Pomodoro Method for productivity,
      • The cycle of 25 minutes of work and 5 minutes of rest that we practice in my Finish Line Friday sessions is a tool I use ALL DAY EVERY DAY to get things done.
      • 25 minutes of work 5 minutes of break, and the reminders to re-focus, just in case I have gotten off track.
      • If we’re going to talk about rest, that leads me to the reminder of my recent podcast on rest and recovery. Check that out if you would like to know more.
    • Body Doubling:
      • If you find you’re feeling distracted, and lacking focus, by all means try some of these other tools as well, but also consider phoning or checking in w a friend via text, then open a zoom room or join a group!
      • You can change your location, too, to work near someone around you who IS focused. Since it’s back-to-school time, I think of a library.
      • In college, I would set up in the library and the entire space was dedicated to focus! Quiet, separate from personal distractions, just the work I needed to do in front of me, and other people around me who were seeking the same focused work! So consider what that looks like for you!
  • What does finding your focus look like to you? Consider these tools next time you feel the focus un-focusing!

Metrics In The Dentist Chair!

Today, I want to talk about metrics. Performance metrics, to be specific, though applied to personal development.

Metrics. Let me explain:

I don’t know if you know this. I didn’t, for certain.

At my dental check up this week, my very nice hygienist, Mary Kate, was very good at explaining what she was doing. I was meeting Mary Kate for the first time, and perhaps she is always this thorough but no one else had ever talked me through the process.

I’ve had teeth for 50-some years now and I just learned from Mary Kate about perio-charting or probe scores. So there you go. There’s your new idea for the day. Perio-charting or probe scores.

The hygienist uses a tool which I’ve never looked closely at before. It’s kind of pointy, looks a little scary. There are lines on the probe that allow the hygienist to quantify the health of my gums.

The goal is to not have a lot of recession, I guess, or dips in the gums around your teeth. And the farther your gums recede, the higher the number of stripes on this tool that they see when they poke your gums, and the more damage you have and the more concerned you need to be, or the more work that needs to be done.

I didn’t know this. Did you know this? I thought it was very cool!

As I sat in the dentist’s chair, I was already reflecting about this article that I wanted to write about Metrics and here I was presented with an excellent example of quantifying something that I didn’t even realize was quantifiable, in the interest of gauging current status and also checking in again later to determine progress over time.

Yep, that’s a Metric. Performance metrics are used to measure the behavior, activities and performance of a business. Or a person, for today’s purpose of my podcast and newsletter.

Mary Kate explained there is an objective, standard, quantifiable, reproducible number to measure gum health. If you have a score of four or under, your gums are pretty healthy. A little higher and we should start to worry. And a seven or eight is cause for alarm. (Mine were healthy, by the way!)

A different hygienist in a different office would still get the same number. Because a metric is information that is quantifiable and standardized. And the best part about Metrics is if we measure something, we can also improve upon it and measure our progress over time.

Every six months when I go in, they’re going to use the same tool and the same charting method. We will identify if there is a problem. And if take action to alleviate the problem, we can measure if it’s helping or not. This is huge, right? I mean, we all need to know this!

There are metrics, or habits or activities or progress, that we can identify as being important to us and quantify in some way. Of course, lots of factors are measurable and therefore trackable. And if we can track something, we also can improve something. My website expert Claire reminds me that “if you don’t track it, you can’t improve it”. It comes down to metrics.

So, with metrics, we can:

  • identify what metric, habit or data is important for us to track;
  • identify how or in what increments we want to track it;
  • consider what progress will look like (I would like to extend my walk time from 30 minutes daily to 40 minutes daily over the course of a week);
  • identify how and how often we want to track the habit or data; and
  • set up the habits and tools that help us make this all happen!

As you listen to my podcast about this article, consider that I can check the Podbean app where my podcast is hosted and see how many people listen. I can see the data (metrics) from day to day and from episode to episode. I have a “total downloads” over time. I can see that my numbers are much better at the 25th episode than they were at the first (thank goodness!).

Because “number of listens” and “downloads” are important metrics as an indicator of success, I could also try to boost my numbers more from week to week through marketing or advertising, and then track if those activities have a positive impact on my listens and downloads. Metrics.

Let’s look at where else this could apply.

Lately, I’ve been using metrics to track my health and wellness habits. I track if I completed the habit this day (“Yes, I took a walk” or “No, I did not take a walk”), how many minutes (30, 60, etc.), and how many steps overall in a day. Or…

  • How many hours of sleep I get a night.
  • How many cookies I eat a day (kidding!).
  • How many ounces of water I drink a day.
  • Did I meditate, and for how long?
  • My daily weight.
  • Morning journaling, by number of minutes.

Let’s make this useful to us. What is an area of your life you would like to improve upon, and what would be a metric around it?

  • For example, recently I realized I need to drink more water, for myriad health reasons.
  • I read the recommendations and committed to drinking 100 ounces of fluids per day.
  • I tracked my normal water consumption and realized I was doing okay but I need to do better every day to reach the 100 ounces goal.
  • To make tracking easier, I fill a 32 oz. jar with filtered water first thing every morning and fill my water glasses and bottles through out the day from that jar. I consistently refill the jar one time during the day (64 total), so the goal this week is to refill the jar 2 times during the day to bring me to 96 ounces.
  • I TRACK THE NUMBER OF JARS! I set up an Evernote Document with the “ounces of water” metric, and also others (exercise, meditation, productivity, etc.). I can copy my list of metrics from day to day, and the the document has pre-formatted check boxes I can add to make tracking even easier. I broke the check boxes down into “32 oz jar” increments x 3 every day, and can click the box accordingly.
  • I have reminders on my phone late in the day to track the ounces and also to remind me to finish up if I haven’t yet met the 100 ounce goal.

Since I am tracking my habits, I know if I’m hitting my mark or not. I can celebrate the successes! “Yeah Me! Establishing good habits!”, which helps me stay motivated for tomorrow!

And if I’m not there yet, I can stop and realize that I’m not hitting my mark. Perhaps I give myself a little pep talk! “You know what, I’ve been doing really great. I’ve been exercising for 30 minutes a day. I get good sleep. I’ve been making healthy nutrition choices. But… I’m not drinking enough water.” And then I can ask me, “What else can I do to support this habit?”

Some of the supports are the ideas I am already using.

  • I made tracking fun by creating my own personalized Metrics Document with my list and motivational quotes at the top.
  • I made it easy by creating the daily template of metrics and their check boxes. And it’s also easy because I use Evernote all day every day so adding another document to that habit is easy.
  • I’m pretty consistent with tracking habits in the morning and mid day, but not so much in the evening, so I added another time for an evening reminder. And the timer goes off early enough in the evening that I can still catch up if I want to.
  • It’s fun for me to track metrics, so there’s a dopamine boost that I get from crossing things off the list.
  • And flexibility is actually a big plus, too. Creating my own check list based on my own metrics means that I can add a habit if I want to, or subtract it if I find that it’s no longer helpful.

So, do I want to meditate more, reach out to one family member daily, have time outside in fresh air… or what else? What else do I want to do that would support any kind of healthy habits or, um, wellness activities that I’m trying to accomplish?

Metrics are self knowledge, actual quantifiable data, that we can use to track and then improve behavior.

My challenge to you this week is to consider what is an area of your life you would like to work on, what would a metric to track to indicate progress and success, and to start tracking! I would love to hear from you about a performance metric, either personal or professional, that you want to improve and therefore track. If you have an app that you love and that I could share with others, please let me know!

Finish Your Week Strong With Finish Line Friday

Did you know? I host a free weekly productivity session, “Finish Line Friday”, for my community.

Based on the ideas of Accountability and Body Doubling (both recent Weekly Themes), my participants and I spend time together working side by side on our own tasks.

Statistically speaking, the most productive ratio of work to rest is 52 minutes of work and 10 minutes of rest, repeated in cycles. In Finish Line Friday, we use the Pomodoro Technique (read more here!) for productivity. The Pomodoro Technique takes the 52 / 10 ratio and breaks that into cycles of 25 minutes of work and 5 minutes of rest.

We work through 4 cycles of 25 and 5, and then wrap up and taking a little longer break before getting back to work.

Some of the benefits of Finish Line Friday include:

  • Camaraderie and a pleasant group to work with:
    • And some positive energy to share!
    • I am a verbal processor and it helps me to say out loud to others what I want to work on for the next 25 or 50 minutes
  • A deeper dive on Time Management:
    • Participants report arriving at a better grasp of just how long certain types of task take, and getting better about budgeting the time to get things done.
    • Similarly, participants have mentioned that FLF helps them to know what 25 minutes feel like. Or 50.
      • Which, again, helps us going forward with planning our work and our time.
      • We don’t often know what a certain amount of time feels like.  And since we all have many responsibilities, it is helpful to know how long to dedicate towards a project before we need to pause that work and switch to other work.
    • Breaking down projects into 25 minute chunks keeps us making progress without feeling overwhelmed!
  • Building the Productivity Muscles!
    • In life, we don’t always get to complete a task or project.  But making progress on it today, even if we just get to work on it for an hour or two, is still better than not working on it all.  And the more progress we make, the better idea we get of just what is left to finish until we can call the work complete!
  • Conversely, we’re reminded that productivity improves when breaks happen!
    • Using the Pomodoro Method helps me be better about taking breaks.  Whoo boy, I am seriously terrible about this sometimes!
    • I love it when I seem to hit a stride in my work and can just focus and keep working on getting a project complete.  So I have been known to just commit to work and sit… at  my computer… for 3 or 4 hours straight with hyperfocus.  And then… the brain starts to get fuzzy, my shoulders are tight and I have a headache, I’m starving, my feet fell asleep, my water glass has been empty for hours and now I am completely spent.  So, as much as I LOVE a good focus session when I am in the zone, I MUST get up and move around at regular intervals.

Consider joining us for Finish Line Friday, for productivity and a supportive community! Email me to sign up, Colleen@peaceofmindpo.com!

Body Double: Prepositions and Productivity

Let’s talk Prepositions.

And Productivity.

Prepositions and Productivity.

Last night, I had an epiphany: I realized I should think of this week’s topic as a podcast first and THEN an article, and not the other way around, which would be my usual approach. However, sometimes things are just easier to say than they are to write.

For example, what I want to talk about this week is something called Body Doubling. Body Doubling is… well, it’s many things. It’s an awareness. It is a strategy. It is a tool to use for greater productivity, if and when you need it. And isn’t that the best sort of tool or strategy, the one you can use as needed? And it all starts with awareness.

Another term for Body Doubling is “Parallel Work”, and I really like that term as well. Let’s face it, the term “Body Doubling” sometimes sounds like we’re talking about space aliens in some b movie from the 80s.

Body Doubling is the phenomenon? idea? awareness? that sometimes we work better with others. We may work better with others even if we aren’t working on the same work. With others, among others, around others, beside others, by and near other people, and any other prepositions we can use!

We can be motivated, inspired, accountable and anchored to our work simply by the presence of another person or persons. We can model the productivity to others, or be modeled to, to get the work done. We don’t necessarily have to work with people on the the same project. We can each work independently on what we need to complete. But just being in the midst of other people working can help us to stay more focused on our own work.

I’ve noticed an increase lately of conversations and articles about body doubling, probably from a similar increase in remote working and more generally accepted conversations about neurodiversity, since body doubling is a strategy that can work for all people, and also people with ADHD and other neuro-diversities.

My youngest son is away at college. While he was home for break, I mentioned that I had to hop on a zoom call, that a group of us were working on our own projects but together so we’re more committed to getting things done.  He said, “Oh, body doubling”.  Like it was obvious. I love that this idea is readily discussed and is accessible to him.  Body doubling is not news. Obviously, people have been working together for better productivity for EVER. But the idea that this is actually a strategy that can be used as necessary might be news to you.

Let’s look at different instances when Body Doubling shows up.

  • Before I had a name for it, I recognized that sometimes my sons needed to work at the dining room table together with me or with each other to get their homework done. And sometimes they needed to work alone. And it was helpful to know we had a choice.
  • Just yesterday, body doubling occurred when my husband asked me if I wanted to take a walk. Did it occur to me to take a walk on my own? Maybe. But since we agreed to walk and discussed when and where to go, we were more likely to make it happen (and we did!).
  • Years ago, a client and friend said it would be enough for me to just come and sit and read in her living room while she organized, because having someone there with her helped her to focus on the projects.
  • A bookkeeper friend shares office space with a friend during tax season because she knows she is less likely to get distracted when she is working side by side with someone else working on taxes.
  • A friend struggled early in lockdown when his office went fully remote. He had been unaware of the boost to productivity he experienced working side by side with coworkers until that was gone and he struggled to stay motivated and get things done.
  • A friend realized that a partner and friend along for the ride would make a dreaded errand less dreadful. So she enlisted a friend to join her for the errand and they made an afternoon of it. And the errand was completed.
  • As an organizer, I have known about body doubling for years because it is a strategy that comes from working with a professional organizer. Making an appointment to organize makes organizing happen. I am not doing the work for my clients but WITH them, anchoring them to the space and to the work.

Now that we know that body doubling works, let’s look at how to work it into our productivity practices.

  • The First Step Is Always Awareness:
    • Identify that body doubling is a strategy, and realize that you might be a person who benefits from it!
  • How To Use the Tool:
    • Ask yourself, How Do You Do Your Best Work? Identify what types of work benefits from body doubling.
      • For example, for me, intense brain work tasks and final edits are best done alone, silent and with no distraction. But most other types of my work benefit from working alongside others. So I plan accordingly.
    • Enlist Aid:
      • When looking for a body double, find someone who matches or improves your energy. If you’re struggling to get things done, reach out to someone who is motivated and positive!
      • “Phone a friend” but be choosy about the friend! Phone a friend, but make sure that friend will be someone who is supportive of your productivity!
      • Everyone Can Win: Set up an arrangement, like you will body double with your friend for her organizing project this week, and she can come over and be your body double for your closet project next week!
    • Join a Group!
      • A client (a college professor) has been part of Writing Groups for years. Fellow academics get together regularly, either in-person or virtually, and dedicate time just for goal setting and writing.
      • I joined Momentum Sessions (https://focus-sessions.momentumdash.com) so I can hop into a focus group to get work done. Seeing other folks on the screen in our zoom room helps me to stay on track!
      • Join me for Finish Line Friday every Friday morning!
      • For another way to feel like you have a body-double, try https://coffitivity.com/
    • Start Your Own Group:
      • A friend started a morning walking group in her neighborhood, to help her friends (for sure!) but also to help herself commit to walking!
      • Start a group at work!
        • Most office environments are geared to parallel work, but you may want to discuss how to avoid disruptions if you start a group.
        • Set up boundaries for group work, for example, quiet or silence for part of the time, expectations from the different group members, length of time per session, etc.
    • Check out your usual haunts – do you find that you can be more productive at your local coffee shop, library, college campus, etc? Make an appointment with yourself to work from there!

Now that you know more about body doubling and how it works, it’s time to step back and look at your tasks and work for this week and strategize how to make body doubling work for you!

Not Done Yet? Pay Attention to Your Neglect!

Wow, there is irony here. I drafted this article originally in early 2021. And it was neglected until now. And yes, I am absolutely paying attention to my neglect this week!

There are many things that I will never do or projects I will never complete, even if perhaps at one time I thought I would complete them.

And I am ok with that.

I’m encouraging you to be honest with – and OK! with – your self about those tasks or projects that you will never do, either.

Of course, if you know me and read my articles or listen to my podcasts – you know that I’m a big fan of goal setting and aspirations and dreams and plans. We all need them, and I will be your biggest cheerleader as you work towards them.

However, I also want us, you AND me, to mostly be realistic. (But still dream and aim HIGH!) Because, being realistic about the things we WILL NOT complete helps us to focus on and make time for the projects that we will do, that light us up and make our hearts sing!

This week, I challenge us to learn from our neglect.

For example, I own books that I have not yet read. I bought them upon the recommendations of others or glowing reviews or because they looked interesting. Perhaps they were a gift, or a loan from someone who thought I should read this book. I still have to choose if I am going to read the book or not, but I have also gotten much better about not taking on a book I probably won’t read. I can learn from my neglect of those books on the “To Read” shelf, parked there for years. Marie Kondo would say we can learn even from half-read books – we learned that we don’t want to read that book. And clearing away the books that I have neglected and that still don’t appeal to me moves the other books that I want to read up the priority list.

There has been other learning, as well. For example, I started writing this article 2 years ago. I had learned that, when I have a lot more free time, like in lockdown or while recovering from surgery, I still will not put together a jigsaw puzzle or elect to do an art project. So, if I come across a half-completed project in a drawer or cabinet, I will never say “Ooh, yes, this! Yeah, glitter!” Or whatever…

Now, again – don’t get me wrong: perhaps you are organizing a space and come across a project or a book or a long lost idea and say “Yes! Thank goodness I found this!” Sure, you got distracted or forgot about it but now that you have found it, you can’t wait to finish! Go for it!

I have certainly acted on neglected items in the last year, so this is NOT an article where I tell you to give up on your dreams. Long neglected, I thought about starting my own Finish Line Friday productivity session for months before picking a date and time and offering the first session. And I talked about starting a podcast for YEARS before actually launching mine back in November.

But, getting clear on what we do and do not want to spend time on is an important productivity concept. (For more on this, check out my article on Focus Areas.)

Where else can we learn from our neglect?

  • Clothes in the closet that are never worn can tell us what colors or fabric types we prefer or not. OR they can tell us that the events the clothes were purchsed for either need to happen (so schedule them!) or the item needs to go!
  • To-Do items on our task list that continue to crop up without completion may be the sign that that task is not as important as we thought it was.
  • Or, Road trips dreamed of, but never planned, or foods purchased towards a health goal that has never coalesced.
  • Piles of clutter in our home or office that started out with good intentions and now just languish and cause us anxiety.

If you have a pile of uncompleted projects (UFO’s per a friend who quilts, or “Un Finished Objects”!) or uncompleted tasks on the to-do list, here is how to think through the process.

  • Identify the tasks or projects that are neglected. Recognize the neglect is occurring.
  • Ask yourself some questions!
    • Is this project or task my responsibility to complete, or someone else’s?
    • Was this my idea or someone else’s?
    • Do I really want to complete this project?
    • Does this project / task still fit into my goals or vision of myself and my future?
    • Will the outcome make me happy or am I doing it for someone else or under someone else’s expectations?
    • Is this unfinished because I lack the tools, or the time or the know how? (And how to remedy this!)
    • If resources were unlimited, would I complete this project? (This one is super helpful! If time / money were not object, would I jump at the chance to do this thing?!)
  • Some of the questions may be answered with a “Yes, this is my idea and I still want to do this thing, and here is when I will do it!” And that is awesome.
  • And some of them are not, so Let go of the guilt. Let go of the expectations. Let go of the clutter that goes with them. Make space for the things that you do want to do, that are YOUR choices and that will light you up!

[(I find this so fascinating – when I first started this blog article, I was listening to a live-stream from Adam Ezra group, and he is talking about prioritizing and making the work we do joyous! (https://www.adamezra.com/) ]

Looping back to the beginning, for example, even though I won’t craft or put together a jigsaw puzzle, I WILL: read voraciously, learn how to play the ukelele, post Facebook Lives with songs solo and with my hubby, learn about new musical artists, etc. THOSE things will happen. And the books that have sat neglected for too long and that I no longer want to read have been purged from my reading pile to make room for the books I DO want to read!

Look around this week, identify your neglected items and ask yourself some questions to Learn From Your Neglect!

What My Producer Learned From Me About Organizing

I recorded the 15th episode of my podcast last week.

15 episodes.

15 Episodes!

Since I launched my podcast in November, the process has become smoother. Thank GOODNESS! Not that the process was hard, but getting over the initial fears and and bumps in the road took a little time. Everything was new and different, so I had to adjust and also learn how to make the process a sustainable habit integrated into my typical weekly schedule.

And I learned. Hooray!
And I had help. Also Hooray!


My producer Chris Lanuti with BroadcastBasement.com set up my accounts across all the podcast platforms and created my graphics. He makes me sound good every week, writes my descriptions every week (I like his better than mine), and continues to guide me along the podcasting path.

I am gratified to say that while I have been learning SO MUCH from Chris, he mentioned that he has learned a lot from our time together, as well. He is present as I record every episode and then he produces the episode, taking out all my goofs and ums / ahs, adding my theme music, etc. So the poor guy listens to me at least twice through every episode and content area! And he has learned a few things in all that listening!

As I grow professionally and grow my podcast, I would like to have guests with me for some episodes. Chris offered to be my first guest, and here are highlights from our recording session!

What My Producer Has Learned From Me About Organizing:

Prioritize Your To Do List!

Chris says he has always been a list guy, but sometimes he would look at the unprioritized list, only cross off a few things in a day and feel frustrated that he didn’t get anything done.  And yep, I feel the same sometimes!

But the better quesiton is, for Chris and for all of us, did he get done the work that NEEDED to be done TODAY? After listening to the organizing podcasts, he is better about prioritizing what is on the list.

For example, using the Eisenhower Box idea (Podcast Link, Blog Article Link), his tasks are broken into three categories: “Top”, “Next” and “Ahead”. And he gets more done more easily, without tasks slipping through the cracks.

  • “Top” tasks are both urgent and important and need to be done today.
  • “Next” tasks are important tasks that can perhaps wait a day or two or more. They’re important but they are not yet urgent. And
  • “Ahead” is a parking place for ideas for later, in the next month or two, or longer.   The ideas are safely kept on the list until it’s time to work on them.

How can you better categorize your to-do list to get more done?

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Client communication / Newsletter:

In January, as we recorded one of my episodes, we were discussing “unsubscribes” from our client email platform (we both use Constant Contact).  I think we both had maybe 2 unsubscribes one week. He mentioned he didn’t usually click to see who unsubscribed but he did that week and was suprised to see they were people he knew pretty well and saw occasionally. And it felt personal!

So we both had to get over the fact that Yes, subscribers may come and go sometimes, especially in January when folks are cleaning out their inboxes! But that lead to the conversation around newsletters and communcating with our clients.

A Podcast is a tool of communication in itself!  But we have to communicate more directly, too, so let’s talk newsletters!

We both use newsletters to reach out to our community. Consistent, value-added communications are the best way to keep in touch. Recently, he changed the format of the newsletters he sends out. He said he “stole” the idea from me, but it’s a generally accepted practice, so I called it “incorporating a good idea”: In the same way that I have sections of my weekly newsletter to highlight my different product offerings, he now has info on the current episodes, an “if you missed a recent episode, here’s where you can listen”, and calls-to-action to check out and actually subscribe to the podcast plus check out other podcasts he also hosts.

Chris is better about segmenting his address list than I am.  His lists segmented by which podcast a person listens to, current advertisers, possible advertisers, etc. My address lists are segmented, depending on where I met someone (networking, classes, clients, etc), but I send out the same newsletter to all my subscribers every week.  Because…

  • I’ve been in business for 20 years, and the lines have blurred for many of my community members!
    • Organizing clients have become friends or networking partners or coaching clients, class participants have become coaching or organizing clients or friends, etc.
  • I consider you all my Community. And
  • Any subscriber can reach out to me for any reason, to hire me to coach, to organize, to set up a presention, to share an organizing or recyling resource, etc.

How can you better communicate with your community?

***************************************************

Experts: In business and in life, Find your experts.  Use your experts.  Be the expert for others.

Chris and I talked a bit about who our experts are, and how we use those connections that we have.

An example of how I use my experts is hiring Chris to set up and now produce my podcast. Since 2020, the not-knowing-how kept me from starting my podcast. Chris and I had talked about it, but it took me two years to take the leap. It took some courage, but I had the idea and the expert to help me get from idea from to finished product.

In the interview, I also mentioned how I puzzled for months over how to set up my business – C Corp, S Corp, LLC? I pondered, I read lots of information, I worried. And then I realized I had an attorney, my friend and networking partner, who could tell me what sort of business structure would best suit me and my situation. One phone call and about 15 minutes later, I was on my way (and she is still my legal expert, www.KerlinWalshLaw.com).

We must consider how long something will take us to figure out versus how someone else – our expert – can complete a task more quickly and competently than we can. This is a slow lesson to learn sometimes, but when we step out of our own way and let our experts practice their art, we can regain time (and therefore money), mitigate stress and have things done right the first time!

What expert do you know that could make your life easier today? Call Them!!!

Give a listen this week!

If you would like to know more about getting started with your own podcast, or if you want to check out any of the other podcasts from the Broadcast Basement, check these out!

Better Communications to Maximize Moments

Communications: Scripted and Unscripted

“I propose: Getting clear on your own communications and expectations can save you time and lessen aggravation! Less follow-up, less drama, fewer mistakes!”

February is Time Management Month and I promised via my newsletter we would dig a little deeper into matters of Time Management. This week I want to talk about keeping our communications on track to maximize our time management.

I am a podcaster now. (I love saying that!) Last week, I taught a 4 hour time management class for a training program at a local community college, and one of the participants actually asked how to write for and start a podcast! So I shared a few ideas.

And here is the thing – and perhaps you have noticed, if you are a regular listener – I write my notes for every episode.

Mostly.

I want to make sure I cover what I want to cover, and I don’t really trust myself to remember it all in the moment, or under pressure of recording (not that there is much pressure). But I want to remember, so I write most of my script.

Equally important, though, are the unscripted moments. The off-the-cuff moments.

For example, in addition to being a certified professional organizer, I am also a professional musician. And I can perform hundreds of songs without music in front of me. But I prefer to see the music in front of me, just in case. Scripted, right? However, even though I have not written the song, I can put my own stamp on it in the performance, my personal interpretation. Unscripted.

Let me be clear. I am my own life-long coaching and organizing project! Organizing comes as easy as breathing to me, as do coaching topics, but I will forever be a work in progress. And Communications are ever evolving for me!

My actor son and I were discussing that so many plot lines for tv/movies/plays evolve around drama created by poor communications. We talked about Shakespeare to modern day, but it’s true. How much drama is created when we don’t communicate clearly, we jump to conclusions, we make assumptions, or things just don’t go as planned?

I propose: Getting clear on your own communications and expectations can save you time and lessen aggravation! Less follow-up, less drama, fewer mistakes!

I am suggesting a combination of Scripted and Unscripted communications strategies.

How do we script our communications? But also keep them unscripted enough to remain meaningful and personal?

Here’s an example of the combination of Scripted and Unscripted:

When I was in college in Ohio, I would call my parents in Michigan on Sunday nights. This was our arrangement. And since we did not yet have email or texting, that was the one certain time that we would communicate in a week. And I used to keep a note of things / events / achievements I wanted to tell them about. Of course we also would chat about anything and everything else, too, but I had a note so I didn’t forget. And of course, I have caught grief about this habit from my siblings over the years as being over-organized, but that is not news. And I digress.

Another example of the combination of scripted and unscripted (sort of):

I prefer in-person and face to face communications over talking on the telephone. So unless I’m just checking in with a family member, I usually have at least some reason to make a phone call and therefore a mental agenda (probably just a point or two) for the call. Because, to manage our time, we can also manage our conversations. We can manage ourselves and be as clear as possible about expectations and time limits AND still listen closely and let the conversation evolve naturally.

I will often manage a phone call, especially about professional matters like my business or school board work like I would run a meeting, with an appointed start time, an agreed-upon goal and length of call, and a summary and statement of next steps at the end.

That example of scripted and unscripted communications leads me to Boundaries and Best Practices, all of which we set for ourselves.

Another story from childhood regarding boundaries (which I am constantly working on) or etiquette:

Growing up, we had etiquette rules for using the family home phone. We weren’t supposed to make or receive calls after 9:30 at night because it was rude to bother others at bedtime. Our friends knew not to call after 9:30. Same thing for morning phone calls. No calls before 8 am or so. Which is funny, as these are my dad’s rules and he sometimes calls me now long before 8 am my time (he lives in a different time zone). And don’t worry, he won’t be offended that I brought this up, he doesn’t do technology and he certainly doesn’t listen to podcasts. More importantly, I still have those guidelines in my head so I don’t make or take calls and texts extra early or late at night.

What I can do, to script, is to model the behavior I prefer.

  • I will not send a text or make a call outside what might be deemed polite time.
  • I do not typically answer work related calls, texts or emails on a weekend.
  • In some relationships like a coaching relationship, I ask others for their preferred method of communications. Perhaps someone will some day ask me the same!
  • I at least initiate correspondence in my chosen method.

Let’s go back to college and Speech 101: In communications we have the sender, the message and language, the method of communication, the message and language received by the receiver and then feedback. WE need to keep all of those components in mind if we’re going to do a good job!

Here are ways that communication can go awry:

  • “You know what they say…” No, perhaps I do not. Please tell me, specifically.
  • “It goes without saying.” No, no it does not. Say it anyway. I am a good communicator, but I really need to be clear on what message you are sending, and I am not a mind reader.
  • “Well, you know…” No, No I don’t know. Please be more specific.
  • “What do you think they meant by that?” In the context of someone else’s statement. For me, I think they meant what they said, and if they didn’t, I’m not going to make things worse by guessing, extrapolating or theorizing about how or what someone else communicated.

Good communications save time when we are clear with what we are saying and what we are hearing. I heard a great question listening to a podcast today – If someone asks you a question and you’re unclear about what they are asking, ask them to “Please ask the question in a different way.” (The Mind Your Business Podcast with James Wedmore.) It takes into consideration jargon and semantics. And I often check in with people in conversation – “did I fully answer the question you were asking?“

What have we learned?

  • Get clear on your communications to save yourself time later!
  • Have a Script, at least a little, around managing your communications, but be flexible enough to embrace unscripted as well.
  • Establish your own communication boundaries and be ready to lead by example
  • Check in regularly with others regarding your own communications. And,
  • In addition, on your various communications channels, factor these check-ins to your routines, to ensure two way communication is happening.

Where can you improve communications this week with this new awareness?

The Word “Overwhelm” Is Not Specific Enough

Words matter. And there are so many possibilities! However,

In presentations, I used to say that “if I had a nickel for every time someone said to me ‘I’m so overwhelmed, I don’t know what to do!’, I would have a lot of nickels.” And I would.

But I am increasingly annoyed with the word “overwhelm”. Not with the people who say it, of course, but with the word itself. It’s too vague. The word has become so broad and ubiquitous, it has lost meaning. In addition, all of the ways the word is used have negative connotations. (And for the purpose of today’s article, we’re discussing “Overwhelm” as not a momentary panic but a longer term state of being.)

Google says overwhelm means “to bury or drown beneath a huge mass; to defeat completely; and to give too much of a thing to (someone); inundate.” Maybe it’s positive, like when we are overwhelmed with someone’s generosity or when our team victoriously overwhelms another team, but “overwhelmed” is overwhelmingly negative.

“Whelm” has somewhat negative connotations, too: “verb: engulf, submerge, or bury; or noun: an act or instance of flowing or heaping up abundantly; a surge.”

Ironically, even “Underwhelm”, the seeming opposite of “overwhelm”, still has negative connotations, “fail to impress or make a positive impact on (someone); disappoint.”

There is no middle ground.

In sharing this article idea with my accountability partner last week, she said “Using ‘overwhelm’ sets us up [in a negative] mindset”. It ends up being an excuse, a blanket statement, a catchall phrase. And with such subjective, negative, vague and undefined meaning, it’s often difficult to see a way out of the feeling.

Saying you’re “overwhelmed” can be a starting point, but it is NOT the answer to the problem. And while there is no judgement about saying we’re overwhelmed, it is not some place that we want to STAY!

In coaching, change and progress start with awareness. This week, let me propose that we work a little harder and come up with different words for our feelings of overwhelm so that we can start to make things better. When someone tells me they’re overwhelmed, I ask if we can explore that a bit and get more specific. For example, if you’re overwhelmed, you may be more specifically or also feeling:

  • confused,
  • overstimulated,
  • unclear,
  • discouraged,
  • frustrated,
  • despondent,
  • that’s there’s just too much to do (inundated),
  • unprepared,
  • vulnerable,
  • unsure,
  • overscheduled,
  • incompetent,
  • hopeless, or
  • helpless / powerless.

Consider, too, that you and I may feel multiple emotions, and even conflicting emotions concurrently. Of course we do, we are humans after all. We are fabulous and complex creatures, capable of feeling many emotions at the same time! We can feel both excited about a new work opportunity and also terrified of change! OR proud of the people our children have grown to be and also sad because we miss them!

(Or, as I read in a fellow bloggers post just this morning, “Sticking to your guns and compromise are not opposites. They’re both important tools. Both tools will need to be used on the path to your desired future. Sometimes at the same time.” (https://www.gabethebassplayer.com/blog/tools-for-the-path-ahead))

You also may be feeling something REALLY STRONGLY, and the strength is what is engulfing you.

And, when we’re feeling overwhelmed, we may also or actually be tired, sad, ill, depressed, grieving, etc. And a situation that would not overwhelm us on any other day overwhelms us today. Just the other day, I spoke with a client who said she was feeling overwhelmed and then realized that “on any given day, [her] situation would not feel overwhelming but [she] hasn’t slept well the last few days and her emotional reserves for dealing with life are just low right now.”

So, let’s look at this.

There are so many more specific and therefore useful words out there! When we drill down and get more specific, then we can identity the actual problem and then start working on solutions. Because, with unspecific feelings or measures, how do you ever know when you’re done feeling overwhelmed? “Overwhelmed” needs a time limit!

Let’s move out of OverWhelm and on to something better!

Let’s get more specific about how and what we are feeling so we gain some insight in how to start to make life better. Ask yourself:

  • What does “Overwhelm” mean to you?
  • What else are you working on or dealing with right now?
  • Where do you feel “overwhelm”, and what does it feel like? What is your body telling you? (a great question from my coach Laine!)
  • For example, my stress and therefore my overwhelm shows up in my shoulders and in migraine headaches.
  • Are you struggling to take a deep breath? Are you tired before you even begin a task?
  • These are all questions that can help you gain insight into what you are really feeling.

And, most importantly, what tools are you using to handle the feelings of overwhelm?

  • First step is awareness. Take a few minutes and ask yourself those questions about what you’re really feeling!
  • What are some of our other available tools in the moment!
    • Call your therapist, your friend, your coach!
    • Meditate or do some deep breathing;
    • Take a “nature break” and take care of actual physical needs like hunger and thirst (my hiking guide Kevin used that term first and I kept it!);
    • On a larger scale, make sure you’re managing sleep, nutrition, exercise., etc.
    • Look outside of your own situation and do something kind for someone else.

Let’s dig a little deeper this week and get more specific with the root of our overwhelm. And empowered with that awareness, we can start to conquer those feeling and move toward something better!

“What’s The Plan?” (I just need to know there is one.)

What’s your plan for 2023?

In my Time Management and Productivity Presentations, I talk A LOT about planning. Two quotes I share in those presentations are:

  • “By failing to plan, you are preparing to fail”.  (Ben Franklin)

    And
  • “In preparing for battle I have always found that plans are useless but planning is indispensable.” (Dwight D. Eisenhower)

In this quote from Dwight D. Eisenhower, he uses “plan” and “planning” as both nouns and verbs. For today’s purposes, “a plan”, the noun, is “a detailed proposal for doing or achieving something” (per google) or “a set of actions that are intended to achieve a specific aim” (per Cambridge Dictionary).

Considering who I am, it is no surprise that I love a good plan.

Why do I love a good plan?

A good plan orders our steps. It calms our fears, knowing that there is a plan. It motivates us and keeps us on track. A good plan is not a perfect plan. A good plan is flexible and should be able to – sometimes expected to – change and evolve. And even if a plan may be subject to change, it’s still vitally important to go through the planning process.

For example:

When I text my clients to confirm our appointments, I often ask “What on the agenda?”

Here’s the thing – I ask this question many times a week. I ask my clients about the plan, but… I don’t actually need to know the plan until I arrive for our appointment.

This question is not for me, or for my benefit, it’s for my client. In organizing, I am the expert about organizing but my client is the expert about themselves and their situation.

If you’re my client and you have a plan, I can make some assumptions.

  • Awareness: I can assume you have have the necessary list of possible projects or life situations you would like to improve or accomplish.
  • Prioritizing: I can also assume that you have thought about the priority for these projects and situations.
  • Ownership and Agency: I can assume you have reviewed the list and the priorities and decided on what task or project or objective we should work on that will help you the most today.
  • Flexibility: We can always add to or subtract from the plan, and I can also help you with any of these steps as we work together, but the assumptions remain.

I was chatting with my son in the kitchen yesterday. I take him back to college for his second semester this coming weekend and I asked him if there was a plan for moving back in.

And then I leaned over to him and whispered “I don’t actually need to know the plan right now.” And he knew that, too.

Why?

Because this process, this moving-back-in event, is not my process or my event. It is his process. I will always help, of course. I can help him craft the plan, I will support his plan and implementation, I will do whatever he needs me to do. BUT, the plan is not my plan. It’s his plan. He is super smart, he is excellent at problem solving and HE knows his needs at college far better than I do. Essentially, a week before we hit the road, I only want to know that he is thinking about the process. I don’t need to know the plan, and it’s likely to change in the next few days anyway. I just need to know that there is a plan.

Awareness. Priorities. Ownership and Agency. Flexibility.

So, what’s your plan for 2023? I don’t need to know what the plan is, but for your sake, I really – for you – want to know that you have a plan.

And if you would like to craft that plan, and would like a listening ear and partner in the process, drop me an email at colleen@peaceofmindpo.com and let’s talk about organizational and productivity coaching in 2023.