Category: What Organized People Do

Bullet Journal: Ever Present and Indexing

Okay, next up on the list, let’s talk about Bullet Journal. Bullet Journaling. My bullet journal.

Now, this is a big deal for a lot of reasons, and I’m going to tell you why.

It’s September, and September is National Preparedness Month. I have shared a lot of information over the years about National Preparedness Month. We all benefit from that reminder that we need to have our ducks in a row, or at least know what and where are our ducks are. We need to be ready for life. And I will talk about National Preparedness Month in a couple of weeks, but that is not today’s topic.

One of the ways that I stay in a state of Ready, how I manage all the things that I manage – and there are a lot of those things – is using something called a Bullet Journal. I am going to reference now Ryder Carroll who created Bullet Journal, and also bulletjournal.com if you would like to know more.

And to give credit where credit is due, I need to give a nod to my dear friend Mark who introduced me to the idea many years ago. Mark has since passed, unfortunately, but I think of him kindly when I am working in my Bullet Journal.

I just started a new journal last week. Starting fresh is such a good feeling. A Bullet Journal is a tool. That’s all. It’s a very personalizeable tool. Mark and I taught Bullet Journaling classes over the years and it was good for us to teach it together because Bullet Journaling is so personal and individualized, it’s good to have two different people’s input.

There are many facets of a Bullet Journal that I love. Honestly, it’s a notebook. That’s it. It’s a notebook. How you use that notebook makes it a Bullet Journal. If you’d like to go to the Bullet Journal website and spend a lot of money on a very snazzy notebook – they are very pretty – Go for it. But before I get ahead of myself, let me tell you why I love my Bullet Journal.

A Bullet Journal is a tool, and the concept comes with rules and suggestions, a technique, with ways of doing things, and you can choose to use it or not, and you can choose to abide by the rules and suggestions or not. I find it very helpful, and there are two facets of Bullet Journaling that I will talk about today that can be applied to any other notebook or note taking device, as well.

One aspect I love about my Bullet Journal is that it is ever present, ever ready. As I am writing this article, it is physically at my right hand on my desk. And when I get ready to go in a few minutes, I will slip it into my backpack which is twelve inches away from it at present, and it will go with me and be ever present as I go about my day as well.

I love technology, I am a tech girl. I use my phone and iPad and laptop ALL DAY. But there are also times in my day that I that I need to write something down as opposed to entering it into my phone or laptop somehow. Maybe I need to scratch a 2 word reminder to run an errand while I sit at a stoplight, right? So I do. Because my Bullet Journal is ever present. And I don’t necessarily want to pick up my phone because well, it’s illegal and ill advised.

Whenever a thought strikes me, I can quickly jot it down, and I recognize there are many opportunities in my day where those thoughts to strike!

And this is why I am sharing. I know many people, clients and colleagues, who write down notes on whatever is handy. The back of mail envelopes, shopping bags, the margins of a book, on a newspaper, on their hands. (Yes, their hands, 25 years ago – I worked for the Internal Medicine Residency Program at the University of Illinois, Chicago and yes, our residents would sometimes jot down lab results on their hands because that’s what was available when they took a call from the lab about a patient.)

If I am already on a call, sometimes it’s just easier to write the customer service reference number or my family member’s hospital room number. And sometimes, I don’t want to get distracted by my screen so I will make a note to “look up jar salad recipes”, or write a really cool quote that I read in a devotion this morning.

One client in particular asks as we discover notes on note paper, receipts, envelopes, whatever – “What is wrong with me!?” Nothing’s wrong with her. But her notes and therefore her thoughts end up a hodgepodge, which makes it difficult to retain or review that information or get to what is really important. Whenever we’re working on her papers, we find notes all over the place but without context, they are difficult to process.

Which leads me to the second thing that I love most about my Bullet Journal and that is the Index. Which is just what it sounds like. Read any published material and it likely has an index. So you can find what you need when you need it.

On my Bullet Journal next to me, I have today’s date listed, and some notes below. Later today, I have a doctor’s appointment and I’m going to have some notes from that in my Bullet Journal. Later still, I will run a rehearsal for my choir and I will surely add more thoughts and tasks to the page.

In a couple of weeks, if I want to refer back to what we talked about today with my doctor, I’m going to be able to check the index and flip to the page from today.

My index pages, the first 4 pages of a Bullet Journal, will have three columns for page number, dates and then topics per page. So I can readily find information again if I need it.

And – you can do this with any notebook you already have, too! (I rocked a client’s world a few weeks ago with this concept – she was so excited to add an index to existing note books to make them make sense!!)

Yes, you can take an existing notebook, number the pages and if it is too late to add an index to the front, add it to the last 4 pages instead. Three columns for page number, date and topic. Sometimes my topic is “Life”, and sometimes it is “Dr. Appt, School Board Meeting regarding Finances, blog article ideas, etc.” Let’s say, on pages 13 and 14 are notes from the special board meeting regarding finances and in a month or two, I want to go back and look at that, I can flip to the index, see pages 13 and 14, and can flip to those pages with consistency, confidence.

I usually fill up a Bullet Journal in 4-5 months, but the notes and index still exist, so I can always go back and look for things if I need to.

A real life example, I had a client who was moving cross country. She called about apartments on the west coast and she had a notebook full of notes. But when it came time to actually travel, she was worried about being able to find the specific places and people that she had talked to, to reference while she sat in the office with the people. She had a notebook full of information, but it wasn’t as useful as it could be. I suggested she go back, and number the pages of the notebook, determine what date (approximately) she spoke with people at each apartment complex, and add that info to an index at the back of the notebook. She spoke to so and so on this date regarding these apartments, and this is how much a 1 bedroom costs, or a 2 bedroom, square footage, amenities, if there is a garage, how long is the waiting list, etc. And then, when she sat in the office on the west coast in-person, she could easily flip to that page easily and say, when we spoke on this day, you mentioned x, y and z” that conversation would be that much more fruitful. It really helped with the home search to be able to find that information again.

Another real world example, inspired by a conversation with my college student son. My son is taking a philosophy class this semester and his professor does not allow electronic note taking. I wish I had known about indexing when I was still a student, because, um, it’s so helpful. So, you know, on the back page of his notebook, on the first page, if he’s thinking of it, but definitely on the last couple pages, he could absolutely, you know, again, number the bottom of the notebook pages, and then pages one and two, or pages, you know, page one was first day of class. Page three, two, three and four were second day. And we talked broadly about this and this, right. And, uh, pages five through eight, we’re studying for the first quiz, um, on such and such a date regarding, um, such and such a topic, right. So you can index anything, and it’s so helpful.

Bullet Journaling for goal setting, time management and productivity!

This is definitely an article about my love for Bullet Journaling but I suggest that you consider how you could apply the idea of one ever present notebook and the idea of indexing to your current methods of note taking, if you have them. These ideas are specific to Bullet Journals, sure, but the two ideas that I’ve mentioned today can be used independently of bullet journaling as well. Give these ideas a try, and let me know what you think!

Peace-mck

“Activation of Prior Knowledge” (Sounds Cool, Right?)

In education, at least in this country because of summer vacation, there is the phenomenon of the “summer slide”. The summer slide refers to students forgetting stuff over summer vacation.

Students are in school for 9-ish months and they learn A LOT! And then, they take 2.5 months off for summer vacation, which is great, but they forget things in those 2.5 months.

Instead of receiving daily or weekly reminders and opportunities to use learned skills, they lose those reminders and opportunities so the skills get a little rusty. Without constantly accessing that information, it can feel like they are losing the information or skills.

Educators, and other people that are much smarter than me who know these things, would argue that the information isn’t lost. Students might forget they know it. It’s not lost. But they, and as we apply this idea to us, we, may need to remember how to retrieve it.

When we learn, we receive new information in our short term memory and then, through repetition and brain processes, our brain converts it to long term memory. I have talked about learning and repetition before, for example, in my “I Am Statements” article and episode.

We put in the reps, we put in the time, we build skills and work with the information, then the information gets cemented. It becomes part of us. But like when kids are out of school for a few months, they and we might get out of the retrieval habit.

Let’s face it, we all can get out of the habit of retrieving and using the information that we have learned.

When a student is starting let’s say 5th grade, the teacher can assume a few things. They can assume that because the student is starting fifth grade, the student has successfully completed learning all the things that you needed to learn to finish 4th grade, and all the grades before. We believe that we can make that assumption. There have been building blocks, some foundations laid.

It’s not as if your new fifth grader is going to review every moment of pre k, kindergarten, 1st, 2nd, 3rd and 4th grade. It doesn’t work that way. However, in the first couple of weeks in a school year, in many classes and subjects, what needs to happen is something called activation of prior knowledge.

Activation

Of

Prior

Knowledge.

Your student needs to be reminded that their brain knows stuff. They have used math, of course, all summer (because we really do use it every day), but they might not have needed all the facts since June, and now they need them again. They might not remember that they know the details of that particular science concept or that particular social studies concept or how to write a book report, etc.

Therefore, in the first few weeks of school, in addition to introducing new information, there is an activation of prior knowledge.

What does that mean to us as adults? Because guess what? Not just 10 year olds need to have their prior knowledge activated. We do, too. Very often when we decide we need to make a change, we think that we must start over, recreate the wheel, make big sweeping change. And we don’t have to.

We know stuff, even if we don’t remember that we know stuff. And sometimes we need to activate prior knowledge. Activation of prior knowledge for us might be returning to healthy practices that got ignored or abandoned over the summer, for example.

Yes, that is a possibility!

I might not have to start over from scratch on habits, but I might have to remind myself that “yes, even though it has been a while, I know how to do this”. I know how to eat healthy, get exercise, whatever those routines are that we want to re-boot.

For example, I’ve been on this sabbatical while recovering from a procedure. Because of it, and this is weird, I was not allowed to work out in the three week after my surgery. No over-exertion, no lifting of anything more than 8-10 pounds, etc. Yep, that’s a thing.

And, at the end of the three weeks, I will activate prior knowledge and say – “you know what, I had a good routine around those things, and then it fell away. I just need to get back to it”. Thinking back, I was using my maxi climber machine five minutes a day, I would take a walk 4 of 7 mornings in a week, and when I didn’t walk, I would at least stretch and do a short meditation. How about instead of re-creating my routine, because we never truly need to start over, I just re-commit to what has worked before that I just couldn’t do for a few weeks? I am much more likely to succeed if I start there!

I know how to do this and it’s time to activate prior knowledge. is. So let’s get back to it, right? I’ve done this before so I know it is do-able.

Another example, I had a great habit and rhythm for meal planning. At the beginning of the year, I would cook two or three meals on a Sunday, and then I wouldn’t have to cook for the rest of the week because our weeks get really busy. This strategy was helpful, and it made life easier. But as soon as we started traveling this summer on the weekends, that all went away. And that’s okay, because we’ve had great travels, and I’ve been exactly where I needed to be to help family members. And now as the seasons change again, I want to return to that habit. I want to activate that prior knowledge. I know how to do that, I liked it and it was so worth it. Let’s remember how to do that.

For many of us, our brain seeks novelty. So it would be really tempting for me to say, ooh, I need to completely change and do something radically different to enable my brain to get the dopamine hit it needs. And I will buy new accessories to do that new activity, and spend hours and hours learning how to do it and there will be a steep learning curve… etc.

But, I can also remind myself I will succeed more quickly if I make what I know already new again, right? That could be the activation of prior knowledge. I don’t have to keep going for new, new, new. I don’t need to take up yet another habit, I don’t have to solve the problem in a different way. I don’t have to do that. I can activate prior knowledge and redo what I already know works, but it’s recommitting to it, so it’s new again, which is actually pretty cool, especially if my brain is seeking dopamine.

To recap,

We know things. Like a grade schooler moving from 4th to 5th grade, we need to get back in the habit of learning and we need to remember what we already know, as a foundation for learning even more things. We can learn. We have the capability. It lives in us. Hello, coaching.

Prior knowledge lives in each of us. We know this stuff. We just need to remember that we know it and we need to activate it. We need to reapply it, we need to recommit to it.

We might have fallen away. And maybe we do want to change things up a little, make things look a little different.

As students go back to school and spend time the first couple weeks activating prior knowledge, we can also spend some time this week and this month activating prior knowledge.

Let’s remind ourselves what we know, what our best practices can be, have been, can be again. My challenge to you and to myself this week is to consider all the different places this idea can apply. It might not be math or social studies or science or in the classroom. There’s other knowledge, other prior knowledge we can activate. But let’s think about that. We don’t have to relearn, we don’t have to reinvent the wheel. We already know stuff because we’re smart. Let’s remember what we know and activate that prior knowledge, get ourselves back on track, or even on a new track, and make things happen.

(Sounds Cool, Right?)

How To Arrive On Time

August is a great time to recommit (or finally commit?) to getting places on-time! I have written often on this topic, so if you want to hear more, head over to my blog and search for time management strategies, or check out my past episodes.

Over the summer, a community member asked me to write about how to get places on time.

And I recall a client and friend asking me very early on in our working relationship very earnestly “How Do You Get Places On Time?” And then she looked at me and said “No, really – HOW do YOU get places on time?” She shifted it from asking for broad global tips for time management down to how did I, Colleen, actually get to her house on time that morning. She and I were both working moms with small children at the time and she wanted specifics! So, we worked on that together!

Relatedly, we were having a conversation about this at a family event recently, about how different family members or even sides of a family can have much different views on what is “on time”. And we discussed which family members will arrive early (yes, I have those family members) and which family members we need to tell that the party starts half an hour earlier than it does, so the rest of us can eat before the food gets cold! (I have those family members, too.)

Let’s get to it!

To get us started, I will use me as a case study because then I don’t have to ask permission! Here is how we do this. For a timed event over the weekend, my husband and I confirmed with each other and checking the text from the host as to the official start time of the event, and we decided we wanted to be there as it began, so let’s say 2 pm. We looked at the rest of the agenda for the day which was pretty light because it was a Saturday. We debated running the errands we needed to take care of on our way to the event or knocking them out first thing in the morning instead. And then, knowing how long it typically takes us to get to the event location, we agreed upon the time we needed to leave by to get there when the event started (On-Time).

Let’s break that down into simple steps. And as I wrote this, I realized it could be a top 10 list! So here we go!

Tip #1: To Get Places On-Time, we first need to discuss, what is “on time”, for you?

Because here’s the thing, that is not up to me. I can’t tell you want your own policies should be. But I can tell you that if you want to get better about Getting Places On Time, these are the questions you need to ask yourself. A long ago little league coach taught my oldest son that early was on time and on time was late. That verbalized a guiding principle for me!

Tip #2: Check your notes!

We need to know the event details, like start-time, and determine what time we want to arrive. Different activities require different strategies. For example, you may want to arrive…

  • 15 Minutes early for a doctor appointment when you know there will be forms to fill out;
  • 15 minutes early, at least, or as arranged, for a speaking engagement, for example, where I am presenting, to assure the event coordinators that their speaker will be ready at the agreed upon time;
  • Fashionably late (half an hour after start-time) for a graduation open house;
  • 5 minutes early for dinner reservations;
  • Exactly on time, like me for a client appointment. Arriving too early to a client appointment where the client struggles with time management can cause the client undue anxiety, as can arriving late for the appointment and for the same reasons.
  • And very specifically, early for events we must be on time for, like flights or trains that will not wait of us!

These are examples of when we need to answer the question of “When Do I Want To Arrive?” Get in the habit of asking yourself that question.

Tip #3: Understand and determine your Leave Time

Do you leave your door and you’re on your way? Or do you leave your door, wait for the elevator, take it down 11 stories, go to the parking garage, wait in line to get out and …. THEN you’re on your way? That seems an extreme example, I know. But it highlights how different our concept of time can be! I know for myself, I have a 2-3 minute process between leaving my back door and leaving my garage. So if I want to be on time, I need to factor in those invisible 3 minutes to my total travel time. And, if there is even one more person in the Leave Time equation, either at home or at work, it is likely the invisible minutes will increase.

Tip #4: Know your usual travel time, and then add 5 minutes. Or more.

Tip #5: Use GPS

Use GPS on your phone to navigate to even your usual destinations. This may sound silly, but if getting places on time is a challenge for you, perhaps it is time to try new strategies! I use GPS on work days all the time, especially if my drive is anything over 15 minutes, because my GPS will alert me to any snags, slow downs or trouble on my route. I have a client I visit one morning a month, and due to tollway construction, my travel time to her home varies widely and occasionally doubles from trip to trip! I always check the GPS early that monthly morning, to factor in any changes in my commute. If I am just out and about, running errands and not on the clock, so to speak, then I don’t need to use my GPS.

Tip #6: Have a plan for putting gas in your car.

Again, seems simple, I know. But hear me out – have a schedule or routine around filling your tank and not just when you need it. And not in the morning. Because, no you will not remember to leave early and instead you will hop in your car to get to work or your next appointment and realize that you do not have enough gas to get you there, or there and home. So dedicate a few minutes on a weekly errand day, or pick a favorite station near your house and make a habit of checking your gauge as you drive by and make a stop if you have a quarter tank or less.

Tip # 7: Consider the time needed upon arrival.

Imagine with me – your GPS has guided you to your location with ease, and you arrive a few minutes early – way to go! And… then you realize that there is only street parking (welcome to Chicago) and you have to drive around the neighborhood for 20 minutes. Or there is a parking garage, or a line for security, or any number of invisible minutes ticking away. Remember to factor in the extra wait time when you arrive, or the additional 5 minutes of walking or waiting for the elevator, etc. to your Get Places On Time formula.

Tip #8 Use a bag.

Again, hear me out. I remember sitting in the high school drop -off line with my youngest son and we would watch the kids in the cars in front of us slowly get out of the car with a shoe – just one – in one hand, a breakfast bar in the other, and 4 or 5 other loose items like a binder or chromebook, coat, the other shoe, etc., tucked in the crook of their arm. Which of course could (and occasionally did) all fall to the ground at any moment, especially when they reached back in the car for a few more loose items. More than once, we sighed with impatience, and discussed how much smoother the process would be if the kid had a backpack and actually used it. The tip, then, is to corral loose items and put them in the bag before you arrive at your destination.

Tip #9 Get Where You’re Going and THEN Relax

There are days when I could stay in my office and send off one more email, or text one more client, or read one more article. OR… I can leave now and take care of those tasks when I have arrived at my destination. My habit is to get out the door, and then take a few minutes when I have arrived at my destination to take care of those tasks. And if my travel takes longer than expected, I can tackle those tasks another time today.

Tip #10 Have a back-up plan.

All the time. We went to the White Sox game last Monday and we took the Metra. We factored in start event details and when we were meeting our friends, and planned for the train but could also have driven if the Metra idea fell through. Public transportation, car-pools, alternate routes, Uber, etc.

Give one or all of these tips a try!

Change Your Perspective From “Have To” To “Get To”

I haven’t shared this yet, but when this article and podcast episode drops, I will be recovering from another Mohs Procedure to remove a basal cell carcinoma from my ear.  Did you know that all the ins and outs and ridges on your ears have names?!  Specifically, I will have a carcinoma on my right tragus removed. Basal cell carcinomas are annoying but not as worrisome as other diagnoses, so I promise, I am fine. But, just like back in February when I had a similar bump removed from my nose, I am limited in my activities for three weeks as I recover.

If you know me, you realize I don’t do “limited activity” well. 

But I am working on it.

Back in February, I was overly optimistic (delusional?) about how I would be impacted by my procedure. I read the instructions, listened to my care team and studied up on-line. And I was still convinced that even though the instructions said I would need three weeks to mend, surely I would be fine in a few days, maybe a week, tops.

Ha. “Man plans, God laughs.”

The February procedure was far more extensive than anyone expected, I was at the office for 12 hours instead of three and I came home with major swelling, a much longer incision than expected, two black eyes, etc. I needed every day of those three weeks to get better.

I have every belief that this week’s procedure will be straightforward, uncomplicated, etc., but I am also realistic in my expectations. And I now understand that three weeks means three weeks.

Relatedly, this recovery time with the required slowing down / no heavy lifting / no overexertion means I can’t do in-person work, and so I get to do some things I don’t have time to do in my busy typical day-to-day life.

Which brings me to today’s topic.

My husband and I had a conversation with one of his co-workers, and the co-worker said he was looking forward to sneaking in a run after work.

Looking forward to. Making time for. Even after a full day at work.

I really appreciated his perspective. He doesn’t feel he HAS to go for a run, he considers it a privilege, a perk, a GET TO go for a run. GET TO, not HAVE TO.

This week, I want to ask – What on your to-do list could benefit from this shift in perspective? I have been asking myself that question lately. What tasks have I been neglecting? That I really want to get done, but I just haven’t had the opportunity? What are some tasks and projects that I GET TO work on now, instead of waiting for the more emergent HAVE TO, or maybe not doing them at all?

I had the idea for and started writing this article a month or two ago. The idea started around the phrase “It’s All Good”. I use this phrase often. Because truly, it really is all good. Even when there are loved ones that I am worried about and work that I need to do and highs and lows in my community and our world, at the heart of it, at the heart of me, I’m doing ok. God will provide. It’s All Good.

The “Good” is not the question here. It’s the “All” that trips me up some days! Meaning there’s just too darn much sometimes! And I was reminded of the process when I talked it through with a client, let’s call her Jane, last week when she was talking about “all the Post-it notes, all the tasks, all the everything!” that she feels like she needs to catch up on. (I can relate, how about you?!)

She and I discussed that her current amount of work is not her typical amount of work. Her strategies that she usually uses aren’t broken, there just happens to be a backlog. She has some catching up to do and also wants to make sure she is doing the right things, right?

And, she is overwhelmed and everything feels like a HAVE TO. Not a GET TO. She could just work and work and work and she just mired down in the HAVE TO’s and other daily minutiae? She feels there is no break, there is no fun or joy, and the drudgery keeps her from getting things done. And, she realized that needed to change!

So, we flipped the thinking on its head. What tasks could she look at differently? What GET TOs could she create, what could she recognize as positive, goal-supporting, Jane-supporting activities, and look forward to these activities with excitement instead of dread? Could she block out time at least a couple hours a week to focus on the GET TOs? 

So, what does that look like for you and me?

You have all heard me speak about time management and productivity. To review, I’ve talked about knowing our Focus Areas, setting goals, prioritizing our tasks, positive self talk, matching up our available time to the tasks we need to complete.

And all of these strategies come into play this week for me. I am identifying my GET TOs, the tasks that could use a shift in perspective to get them done, and also the long neglected tasks that need the shift in perspective to move them up the list in priority!

In these recovery weeks, I started with my Focus Areas. I looked at my 2024 goals, and also my goals for the third quarter. I looked at what else I still want to accomplish in 2024, and what of those accomplishments require a slower pace and more available work-from-home (no heavy lifting!) to actually make progress.

We don’t always have these opportunities to work on GET TOs provided for us, like my mandatory down time, so it is wise for us to identify our GET TOs now and squeeze them in whenever we can!

By the way, some of my GET TOs for the next few weeks include (yes, of course there is a list):

  • making progress on my non-fiction reading pile;
  • logging in to NAPO and inputting all of my continuing education units for recertification (not due yet, but it will be great to have them done!);
  • taking more CEUs in the form of recorded webinars;
  • order wedding photos from my son and daughter-in-laws wedding last Fall and my niece’s wedding this past May;
  • swapping out my closet for Fall and ordering a few items;
  • reviewing my business expenses for 2024 so far, eliminating recurring expenses I no longer need to make, and cleaning up Quicken.

I am pleased to say I shifted perspective on a HAVE TO project this past week to a GET TO, and I got it done yesterday. Woot woot! I put it in positive terms in my head, I thought about how great it was going to feel when the project was done, I thought about how having it done was going to help a lot of people around me, and I made it happen! GET TO, not HAVE TO.

Is there one or two activities you could work into your day that are already GET TO’s, instead of HAVE TO’s? Choosing a little less TV or streaming, a little less doom scrolling, a little less mindless anything to replace those activities instead with something that would raise you up? I stayed in bed and read a book for a little bit this morning, my husband and I completed the New York Times games together, I put away copious amounts of laundry that I did yesterday and then I took a walk on this sunny but cool morning. All by 7 am. Those are easy GET TOs for me. And I want more of those.

And, are there neglected tasks on your to-do list that could use a boost, a re-direct, a shift in perspective, to look at them as a GET TO, instead of a HAVE TO?

Let’s try a shift in perspective this week – consider it a GET TO, not a HAVE TO!

Multitasking Is A Myth, Here’s a Different Strategy

I don’t know if I’ve ever said this in a blog article, and I’m pretty sure I haven’t said it in a podcast episode, but here is a bold statement.

Are you ready?

Multitasking is a myth.

And I am saying this as a person who spends most of her days doing what looks like multitasking. The real irony is that I started writing this content while driving (I record it as a voice memo to transcribe later), and now I am editing it while hosting my Finish Line Friday productivity session. Looks like multitasking, but it isn’t.

And here is the thing: when we think we are multitasking, we are really switchtasking. This term was first introduced to me by Dave Crenshaw, just want to give credit where credit is due.

Unless we truly are just walking and talking, or watching TV and eating popcorn, or riding in a car and watching the scenery, our brain is actually switching back and forth between tasks.

So the point is, multitasking is a myth. Our brains truly are not capable of doing multiple things at a time well. We can’t do them well. At least, depending on the different tasks, right?

Perhaps I can drive and also take a call, but I’m not doing either task then as well as I could. And certainly not in a congested area where I also need to pay attention to the navigation a little bit more closely. So I absolutely end calls with people, or I just don’t answer my phone, because sometimes, yes, I recognize that my brain can’t necessarily do two high focus things at once.

It’s not that we can’t do multiple things at once, it really depends on the complexity or severity or the type of action.

I can chat with my husband while we take a walk. I can cook and listen to music. I can wash the dishes or clean the house and talk to somebody on the phone. We CAN do multiple things at once. However, with high level thinking and focus, we cannot multitask. What is occurring in your brain, again, is switch tasking. Switch tasking is what it sounds like, switching our focus. And every time we switch our focus, we have to refocus on the thing in front of us, and then when we switch back, we have to refocus again on this new thing that we’re focusing on now.

Now, I don’t know about you, but I know that there are some days that I can focus easily and switch easily, and there are some days that I cannot switch easily or refocus easily. And what that means to me is that my capacity to focus is a limited commodity and can be used up over the course of a day or week. Like energy and time and decision-making capacity. Those three things, too, are also needed to get things done and are also finite resources that can get used up, more quickly on some days than others.

My ability to switch and re-focus is finite, and may be affected on some days by external factors like my quantity and quality of sleep the night before, or how noisy my work space is, or how often my phone is chiming at me with notifications.

Switch tasking requires focus, energy, brain space or bandwidth, whatever you want to call it. And uses these up faster than just regular tasking, if that’s a word. There may come a point, some days earlier in the day than others, when we can’t switch-task successfully. We are not as productive as we want to be, or should be.

We can spend all of that focus and energy and time, and then it’s gone. We can deplete the well, we can empty the wallet, we can use all the water in the jug and it’s empty. We won’t have more until we take a break and replace it somehow. We can switch back and forth, but at what price? What’s the cost?

There is a better way. We can, at least some times, focus fully on what we’ve got going on in front of us and similar tasks so our brain doesn’t have to keep switching. Yes, lets work on that. So we can get more done and more importantly, we can get things done without completely depleting our brain!

Recently with a client, we were discussing Batch work. She has a lot of different tasks that she needs to take care of. Don’t we all? There are things that need to be done, and the sheer quantity of tasks is overwhelming to her, AND the variety of things is also overwhelming to her. And right now, she only sees them all together. She’s not seeing them prioritized, she’s not seeing them categorized, she’s not seeing them in any of those ways. And so that means it’s even more overwhelming.

And at this moment, for a couple of reasons, she is depleted of energy and bandwidth already, and she is finding it very difficult to get things done. We worked on papers together, and recognized, too, that her papers are a representation of the tasks that need to be completed. Papers are also time management, in this case, especially. She might have a medical bill that needs to be paid, but she also needs to call the doctor and ask a question. Each piece of paper represents a couple different things for her. She was seeking a way to categorize broad categories of the papers and actions because she know multitasking wasn’t working and categories made more sense, especially at this moment.

So we talked about batch work. We talked about grouping similar papers and therefore tasks together like putting all the bills to pay in one place and then putting a date on the calendar or an appointment on the calendar for a couple hours every week to get the bills paid. Or, how she has follow-up tasks for a legal challenge that she’s got going on. And so she needs to put an appointment on the calendar every week for making calls or following up until progress is made.

Batch work can occasionally offer synergies or economies of scale. Meaning, when we group the tasks together, they end up taking far less time than they would if we did each separately. For example, reviewing the legal papers and making one call to the attorney and asking multiple questions at once saves time and money.

Having these tasks, or similar tasks, is inevitable. How do we do them better? How do we do them with less stress? How do we do it so we’re not depleted at the end? How do we set ourselves up to succeed?

Because, let’s face it, it’s possible that we switch tasks so often in a work session that we never actually accomplish or complete anything! We feel like we’re working like crazy, but nothing ever actually gets done.

Done. Done! Yeah for Done! If we are working towards Done, or Accomplished or Completed, let’s think in batches. We can do things so they’re actually all the way to done.

Conversely, we can also do batches of work in an assigned time and say, that’s good enough. We can get as done as we can for today and then move on to a different type of task. For example, I don’t get to sit and do 12 hours of money and bill paying in a day. It doesn’t usually work that way.

What is more useful to me instead is doing a batch of home maintenance tasks in the morning, like starting laundry and the dishwasher, after a batch of personal hygiene tasks like taking a shower and brushing my teeth.

I may remember, while showering, that I need to pay a bill but I will not be writing checks while I’m in the shower. We can see that is silly, but we absolutely try to do those kinds of things at the same time. So let’s not do that. Let’s do one thing, or one type of batch of things until they are done right.

The personal hygiene tasks, then I am done and ready to move on.

Then house tasks and then I am done. Then a handful of kitchen tasks like make my coffee, take my vitamins and pack my lunch. Those are all batches, and they’re obvious, so lets look at the rest of our tasks in batches as well.

Instead of switch tasking and asking more of my brain than I need to, than you need to, we can put those different tasks that we need to accomplish together in batches and just think bill paying tasks or money tasks or house management tasks.

In my company, I have four different focus areas or income streams. I will batch all my speaking engagement tasks together – following up on upcoming presentations, printing copies of my handouts, sending invoices. Then, with my calendar on my screen, I’ll batch client scheduling tasks and emails. Then I might shift to writing and content creation tasks, whatever those look like. But instead of having to switch back and forth and manage my focus like that, I can do all of those different things in a batch. I don’t have to keep switching my focus and my energy. I can save that for other things later in the day, or I can just do them with more ease. That works both ways. And I’m more likely to actually get things done with a lot less stress. And isn’t that what we’re working towards? I know it’s what I’m working towards.

Let’s recap:

Multitasking is a myth. Sorry.

Switch tasking is real and doable and can be useful, but may also use up our focus and energy and other resources faster than regular work.

If you’re tired of switch tasking and / or want to give another strategy a try, experiment with Batch work to work with your brain and help you get more done with less hassle.

Give it a try!

College Bound? Organize Your Dorm and Small Spaces

(This content started out as a 90 minute in-person presentation, and what you are reading today was the handout, so many of the tips are in list form.)

First, let me remind you: At this time, your priorities might not be the same as your student’s priorities. We can’t control how others feel.  If your student, like mine, has no plans for decorating his or her space beyond the necessities, so be it.

Sending a student off to college? Or is an adult child moving to their first apartment? Enjoy this Grand New Adventure! And, get it organized!

Planning ahead makes these days flow smoothly. I said these quotes to my son and his friend just last week:

“If you fail to plan, you are planning to fail!” (Ben Franklin) and
“In preparing for battle I have always found that plans are useless, but planning is indispensable.”  (Dwight D. Eisenhower)
 
So, let’s do this!

  • Get the list of recommended items from your school.
  • Virtual tours, and on-line schematics are also available for some schools.
  • Check Target, BB&B and elsewhere for lists, but DON’T buy everything on the lists!
  • Your student can ask for gift cards for graduation.  Check into stores close to campus, too.
  • At Orientation, we can determine what’s provided and have a chance to measure rooms and spaces. Refrigerators?  Microwaves?  Box fans? 
  • Collaborate with roommates, or start the search among friends or on Facebook.  Your students don’t need more than one coffee maker or popcorn maker, cleaning supplies, mirrors, etc., either. 
  • Start early to spread new expenses over a few months, and to give you all time to think and plan clearly.

You and your student can tackle organizing dorm rooms and small spaces the same way we organize for any project. We can use the 5 Step Organizing Process via Julie Morgenstern in her book Organizing From The Inside Out. Those 5 steps are Sort, Purge, Assign a Home, Containerize and Equalize.
 
The Sort and Purge steps go along with packing as your student gets ready to move.

  • Pack like with like; but also get things ready to use.
    • For example, as your student packs their bedding and towels, keep one set of bedding and towels right on top to use immediately when they get to their new space.
    • This makes making the bed so much easier.
    • And they can leave the rest of their bedding and towels packed until after they have set up their space.
  • Shop at home first for their stuff, to save $$ and make them more comfortable.
    • For example, my son and I were just discussing bed pillows this afternoon, and how he should pack his favorites from home to ensure a good nights sleep.
    • In addition, he is taking his bedspread from home because he really likes it.
    • I can replace the spread and his home pillows with items we already own.
  • It’s difficult to purge at this point, since our students are acquiring things at this stage. But they can choose to leave some things behind.

 Assign a Home / Containerize:  SHOPPING:

  • When considering storage for any spaces, dorms or home – utilize vertical space as much as possible.
    • Consider a bed-side bag for bedside items (especially if the bed is lofted).
      • Space bags / Ziploc totes and bags;
      • Consider over-the-the door towel hanger / coat rack / shoe holder / pockets:  for shoes, but also snacks and such. 
      • Double-hang the closet rods.
      • Use narrow metal / felted hangers.
  • You’re going to need at least a few surge protectors, and make sure they have long cords.
  • 3M Command hooks, cord keepers, photo hanging strips.
  • Plan for under-bed storage.
  • Consider tension rods for fabric covers / partitions (shower curtains and rings are awesome, too).
  • The 80/20 says we use 20% of our stuff 80% of the time.  So keep the 20% handy, and the 80% less handy.  
  • Consider multipurpose storage / furniture:
    • Collapsible / convertible / nesting / re-purpose-able storage; stackable, and with lids.
    • Trunks, as storage and extra seating (but don’t pack it full of heavy stuff).
    • Invest in good and matching items.  Higher quality is worth the added expense, and matching (clear, from same manufacturer) items will have the added bonus, typically, of nesting.
    • Packable bins.  Store stuff in them when you move back home for the summer.   Get them the same size so that they stack neatly when not in use
  • No matter what: When Shopping for storage items for dorms or new small spaces: Buy extra of good solutions, but be prepared with the receipt to return them if they’re not needed. 
    • There may be lots of things that come home after moving day, like boxes and suitcases.
  • Packing / Actual Move:
    • Assume that your move in / settle in time with your student will be limited.
    • Bring your own rubber mallet.
    • Right on top, have the Last In / First Out Box
      • soaps, clorox wipes, paper towels, cleaning supplies, snacks
      • tool box, Command hooks, and first aid kit, too
      • But mostly, bring your own rubber mallet for lofting the bed.
      • Bring your own hand cart, too. There are often carts and things to use, but they will be in high demand. So bring your own, as well.
  • Map out dorm room and where each box / its contents are to be unloaded.  Everyone should know the plan.
  • Set up the dressers away the same at home (like use a really big Ziploc bag to pack at home, and then empty out in the drawer at school)
  • As a parent – let me tell you now. Your student might not want help setting up their space beyond the physical labor of getting their stuff to their dorm room and lofting the bed or arranging the furniture. That is a conversation for your student and their roommate, or for them to decide on their own. Maybe they want you there, and maybe it is time to leave.

EQUALIZING (Maintenance):

  • Pack for current season, your student will likely be home before really cold weather. (But pack pants)
  • Make sure they have skills for independent living.
    • How to do laundry (and how often), how to sew a button, iron a shirt
    • First Aid and Illness kit; explain what things do – Tylenol, cold medicine, stomach distress, etc.
    • Grocery shopping, nutrition and a little cooking
    • General cleaning, how to and how often.

What to do with the bedroom that’s left behind:

  • Mourn just a little.  Then do a deep and thorough cleaning of the area.  Clothes, bedding, walls, carpets, garbage.
  • Spend just a little time on organizing during home visits, asking specific questions about specific items.
  • Do not take over your student’s space.  They will come home again, and will need their space again. 

I hope this process goes smoothly for you and your loved one!

College First-Aid Kit and Skills To Go With It

I’m writing this with two specific young adults in mind. And all of our our college students. And, well, the rest of us, too.

I had a conversation recently with a friend regarding the difference between “health and wellness” and “medical” issues. Sometime when I am working on paper management with clients, they lump articles regarding yoga with their lab results from a year ago into the same file and category. And while both are important to overall wellness, they really should be considered two different areas.

Let’s start out talking about Wellness. The best strategies for overall wellness, for all of us, are to eat well, exercise, stay hydrated and get adequate sleep.

In addition to managing their wellness, however, some college students have chronic health challenges that they also manage while in college that require daily monitoring and medication. Diabetes, ADHD, depression, anxiety and seizures are just a few. The habits around managing these challenges should be discussed and supported with your student.

Examples of physical support for chronic challenges might be a special dorm refrigerator to keep insulin refrigerated, local pharmacies or mail order pharmacies to maintain medication supplies, and providing a portable safe for the dorm room to protect medications.

Supports around habits and routines can look like timers and alarms to remind a student to take their medications, informing the university of chronic challenges, and establishing supportive parental protocols and troubleshooting solutions with your student to common problems before they head off to campus.

And, then there are minor (we hope) emergencies and illnesses that pop up for all of us, so please consider sending your student to college with a First Aid Kit. Since this might be the first time that your teen has been away from home, a good kit full of supplies is a great going back to school gift. Pack the basics, plus information on how to use the supplies and when to see someone at the campus health center.

What to Pack

First, figure out what it is you need to pack. Start with the basics for if your student has a cut, scrape or minor burn. Consider packing:

  • Adhesive bandages in all sizes.
  • Non-stick gauze – To cover larger wounds.
  • Adhesive tape – To help secure the gauze.
  • Antibiotic ointment – To prevent infections in a wound or minor burn.
  • Teach wound care basics, too: wash it, dry it, keep it dry. Alcohol stings and peroxide does not. And discuss when to seek medical attention (like if it continues to bleed, or the wound looks red and sore afterwards).

For sprains, strains and other similar injuries consider packing:

  • Elastic bandage – To wrap and provide compression for sprains and strains.
  • Ice pack – For when an injury first occurs.
  • Warm pack or heating pad – For bringing warmth and blood flow to an older injury.

When you need medication for a headache or heartburn, it’s nice to have some over-the-counter medications on hand and avoid a trip to the store. Pack:

  • Acetaminophen – Great for headaches and other aches and pains. Advise your college student not to use acetaminophen if he or she is going to be drinking alcohol. The combination of the two can cause liver damage. Alcohol and acetaminophen taken within a few hours of each other is a significant problem, but regular alcohol drinkers should avoid acetaminophen at any time.
  • Ibuprofen – Also great for headaches and particularly for pain from inflammation or swelling. Be aware that ibuprofen can be irritating to the stomach, so it’s still important for your college student to avoid alcohol when using this medication.
    • And, discuss when to use Acetaminophen and when to use Ibuprofen.
  • Antacids – With all of the new foods your teen will be experiencing, these are nice to have on hand.
  • Diphenhydramine (Benadryl) – Whether it’s an itchy bug bite or a stuffy nose from a friend’s dog, diphenhydramine is great for allergies of many kinds.
  • Other OTC allergy medication or cold medicine – some make us sleepy, some rev up our hearts. Read the instructions and be aware of what you taking.
  • Cough drops/sore throat lozenges – For minor throat pain, these can be great to soothe the irritation and scratchy feeling in the throat. (Honey has also been shown to calm a cough – but that might be messy in a first aid kit!)

Some other tools are great to have in a first aid kit. Think about packing:

  • Tweezers – From removing ticks to removing splinters, tweezers are essential in a first aid kit.
  • Thermometer – Your student might feel hot, but is it a fever? He or she won’t know without a thermometer. Get a regular oral digital thermometer, and make sure your teen knows how to use it.
  • Eye wash – If your teen gets something in his or her eye, like a chemical, dust or even irritating vapors, an eye wash is great to have on hand. Plain water can be used, but an eye wash is a nice extra. If eye wash is needed, though, a 911 call or trip to the emergency room is a good idea, or at least a follow-up visit to campus health services.

What to Pack It In

Now it is time to figure out what you will pack the supplies in. Any durable plastic box with a lid will do. Camping supply stores will often carry water-proof boxes that are used for camping. They are very sturdy and have a rubber gasket that will seal out any moisture. Because many first aid supplies can be ruined by water, these boxes are ideal. A clear box is also a good idea because it allows anyone to figure out what is in the box at a glance, in case of an emergency.

Don’t Forget a Few Extras

It is a great idea to include a card in the first aid kit that provides some basic health information about your student in the case of an emergency. Also, add the telephone numbers that your child might need. Information to include:

  • Insurance card – your student should carry this with them in their wallet all the time.
  • Telephone number for your child’s personal physician.
  • Campus health’s telephone number – When your teen has a fever, most times it isn’t practical to run home for care. Campus health has providers that specialize in college health and can manage many common illnesses.
  • Telephone number for your student’s health insurance – What doctor or specialist can your teen see when at school? Does your student need preauthorization for a medical procedure that is needed? Call the customer care telephone line and find out what the insurance will or will not cover.

College students should also have a few other things in the first aid kit or with them at school.

  • If your student has a chronic medical condition (seizures, diabetes, etc), he or she should have a medical alert bracelet or necklace. (There are even medical alert tattoos and thankfully that can’t be misplaced!)
  • Any personal medical information should be included on a card in your teen’s wallet and in the first aid box.
    • Personal medical information includes blood type, allergies to medicine, allergies to food or anything else that causes a severe reaction, physician’s name and office information, any medical conditions, medications taken on a regular basis, and emergency contact information (your name and any telephone numbers you could be reached at).

Packing up a few first aid essentials is a great gift for your teen. It’s also a reminder to always stay safe and a lesson in how to take care of problems while away from home. All that in one kit!

Packing Personality: Days Ahead or Last Minute?

There are many ways that people pack for trips or adventures or vacations. If you have ever traveled with at least one other person, you likely know there are options, and also that your ways are not necessarily other people’s ways.

Some folks pack weeks in advance, to make sure all the bases are covered. Some folks pack hours or even moments before they head out the door. Some of us are somewhere in between.

Some of us pack only the essentials and end up with just enough (we hope), and some of us like to pack extra because we like options.

Some of us pack meticulously with color coded packing cubes, check lists, shoe bags and a schedule per day. And for some, we’re lucky we have a matched pair of socks and a toothbrush.

Any of these ways can work for us, I am not here to judge as to which strategy you may choose to use.

Unless, of course, what you’re doing isn’t working for you.

I was chatting with a friend last week, and she shared that she never knew what she would find when she gets to her destination and opens her suitcase. She reports a major disconnect for her between the packing process and the actual traveling she does. Another friend says that the person who packs doesn’t always think of the person who is traveling (yet they are the same person!).

I personally use a blend of styles – there are some things that are always packed, or that I can set aside days before we leave. And there are some things that go in the suitcase in the last 5 minutes before we head out the door. That works for me.

Let’s face it, travel can sometimes be stressful. Even more troublesome is when we let the potential stress of packing and prep keep us from ever traveling or saying yes to adventures.

So, let’s explore options to make your packing work for you, regardless of your packing personality!

Let’s step a few steps back from the packing process to get started: Make sure you own the right clothes, and if you don’t, factor in shopping time. There are times when clients don’t own a swim suit or sturdy hiking shoes or an appropriate rain coat for an upcoming trip. We don’t need to ask why. But we do need to look ahead while planning, and make sure we aren’t buying a swim suit at the airport, or hiking trails in flip flops. And that takes planning. Identify the needs for your trip, check in on what you already own and fill in the gaps at least a few weeks before you leave.

Check the weather for your destination, both current and historical, for when you plan to be there. When you check the weather app today, it may be unseasonably cool / hot, so find out what is typical for your time of year at your destination. AND, still bring a rain coat and umbrella, and / or a few layering pieces for just-in-case.

Have favorites / go-to’s: For example, years ago, when working with a client, she called her typical summer outfit The Uniform. Discussing this further, she pointed out that most of the young moms and fellow nurses that she hung out with typically daily wore a neutral or solid short or skort paired with a colorful v-neck cotton t-shirt. And as we stood in her closet, both of us wearing The Uniform at that moment, I realized she was so right! What are your favorites? What is your Uniform?! Yep, pack that.

Use a packing list, if you’d like, and you can use that as a re-packing list, too, if that would help. When my kids were small, we had a little poster with pictures on it to help them pack. First, all ensembles were rolled up together because it makes life easier and takes up less space. On the poster were pictures of shorts / shirt / underwear / socks per day, with a couple of extras because things get spilled. One nice outfit for church, swim stuff, PJs, one hoodie, shoes. Guess what? This formula still works, even for grownups.

Relatedly, Pack With A Color Scheme: I was looking at a friend’s family photo taken at a Fourth of July family reunion. There were probably 50 or 60 people in the photo. Not everyone matched each other exactly, but everyone had on khaki bottoms and a red, white or blue top. Imagine for yourself what a color scheme would look like, and pack within in that color scheme so everything in your bag matches everything else. My favorite neutral is navy blue, so especially when I pack, I stick with clothes, shoes, etc., that work with navy.

Some final words about clothes – Your Clothes Are Not The Most Interesting Thing About You. I hope. Meaning, pack what you need to make your trip run smoothly, and cut yourself some slack. Similarly, remind yourself that most people you see while you are on vacation, other than the folks you are traveling with, don’t know you and will never see you again. So, to repeat, pack what you need to make your trip run smoothly, and cut yourself some slack.

Here are some of my favorite NOT- CLOTHES packing tips:

Have some things pre-packed / always packed like your toiletry bag, charger bag or cosmetics. A client asked me last week what type of travel bag I use for my cosmetics. I am not a complicated person, so the same small bag that holds my entire collection of cosmetics that lives in my medicine cabinet at home is the bag that goes with me as well, so it’s always ready to go. In addition, I always keep my travel toiletry bag stocked and ready to go. In addition, the charger bag for all of our tech is always packed and in my go-bag for work, so I just need to move it over to our travel bags when we travel.

Take everything out of your wallet and make a copy of both sides of each card, and your passport if you are traveling abroad. Leave the copies and your itinerary with your house-sitter, an adult child, a good friend or in an easy-to-find place at home, in case you have to call home for information.

Assign a home in your bags for your most important items; money, passports, car keys, cell phones and medications (e.g. always the same backpack pocket or the top left inside corner of your suitcase, etc.). You and your travel companions should know where these vital items are at all times.

If you’re traveling by car this summer, keep swimsuits and towels in a separate, ventilated and easy to reach bag, so everyone can get to the pool or lake quickly, and suits and towels have a better chance to dry fully between swims.

I hope these ideas help you out with packing for your next adventures!

Hope In Normalizing: “I Can Do This, Too”

This week, I want to introduce an idea called Normalizing, and why I think it is a useful and hopeful idea.

I was talking to a friend recently about a health challenge she is facing.

She was saying that we can believe we are all alone in what we are suffering with because we’ve never really talked about it with anyone.  However, when you start talking to people about your health issue, suddenly you find out that the problem is common, that many people have the same problem, or at least know somebody with the problem.

Ummm… let’s say gallbladder issues.  (And no, I do not have gallbladder issues, and neither does she, I’m just using this as an example).

Imagine: I’m feeling fine, and then one day, I’m not feeling so fine.  I muddle through for a few weeks or even months, with flare-ups and the like, getting better between and then another flare up happens. I finally go to the doctor. They run their tests, give me a diagnosis, share some strategies with me and also schedule a surgery because the gallbladder has to be removed.

Now that I know more and need to make plans, I mention my health challenge at work (because I need time off), or I bring it up with friends or family or the lady at the grocery store because now that I have a diagnosis and a plan, I feel more comfortable talking about it…

And when I bring it up, I find out that EVERYONE has had this problem, or knows someone who has had this problem.

You know the stories you hear, “my husband / wife / parent / child / coworker / friend / sibling has or had this problem”. We all may want to feel special and unique, but probably not when it comes to our gallbladder!

Hearing the stories about how what we thought was one-of-a-kind really isn’t… that is not a bad thing. I actually consider it kind of a good thing.  It feels hopeful to me.

In coaching, we talk about normalizing. Per Dictionary.com, Normalizing may mean “to cause (something previously considered abnormal or unacceptable) to be treated as normal”. 

This can be negative like when we learn to tolerate something that might be negative so that it becomes our new normal.  But it can also be a positive thing, when we expand our understanding of what can be typical and normal, so we no longer feel shame or worry about an issue or circumstance.

As in, when you find out that this issue that you’re having that is probably really rocking your world if you are in the middle of it and things are sore or are uncomfortable is actually 100% survivable.  And do-able.

Like when you’ve got something medical going on and all you seem to do is go to doctor’s appointments and do follow-up and it feels like a full-time job. And it’s really impacting your life and you feel frustrated. You feel like you’re alone in this. Like no one is going to understand. 

And yet, they will.

We can’t necessarily see our way through this situation because we have never been in it before.  We don’t know how long it will take, or when we may start to feel better.  But… other people know.  Other people have faced it and have come out the other side.

So we normalize. We normalize because sometimes we need to hear that we are not alone in whatever it is we’re going through. Sometimes we need to feel like we’re not alone AND that someone else in a similar situation has figured it out.

They have figured it out. And therefore, so can I.

If somebody else has figured all this out, I can too. And there is hope. There is hope in that. I can, too.

Let’s switch it up, I will use Blackberry Jam as an analogy.

Last year I learned how to make and can jam. Like preserves, hot water bath, mason jars, shelf stable, etc.

I had promised a loved one that I would find someone to make jam for an event, and I did not find a jam maker so I became the jam maker.   Here’s the thing.  I knew that I could.  I had a working knowledge of what was involved. And we have YouTube and websites and books, plus there is Amazon.com for ordering the tools.  It’s all there.  It’s all learnable. It’s all there. I knew I could do it.

I like to think I am pretty smart, and I am definitely curious and open to learning.  And hey, people living hundreds of years ago with none of the resources I have now figured it out.  I can do this.  And I did. And it was good!

Now I know how to make jam and also preserve it.  I’m pretty sure I still have some in my cabinet from last Fall. I still have all the tools and the know-how, to do it again. We can call that normalized.

Sometimes, my coaching clients or myself or any one of us, really, can think that the situation that we find ourselves in at this moment is so singular that no one has ever figured out what to do about it. And therefore, we can’t even hope to make things better.

And that’s not true.  I’m here to tell you that’s not true because I guarantee you there have been similar situations where people have figured things out and have come through on the other side just fine.

I consider normalizing to be optimistic. I consider normalizing, when done right, to be hopeful. When we are in the midst of something that we don’t know how to figure out, it’s hopeful to know that someone else figured it out. You are most likely able, you’re going to be able to figure it out as well.  And next time, you can be the resource for somebody.

We have more resources right now than we ever had ever in history to figure things out, ever. You have more resources now than anyone has ever had before. Whoa.

But it’s true. We have more knowledge now than anyone has ever had before. How hopeful and optimistic is that?! It’s awesome. And, if you want to figure things out for yourself, I am here to help. 

Independence Day: From What? For What?

This week, in this country, we celebrate Independence Day.

I want to respect why we celebrate Independence Day, and also ask the question about the word independence – for ourselves, independence from what?  What do we choose independence from, and what do we choose it for?

Whenever I hear the phrase, “The Fourth of July”, my brain goes to a silly joke. A traveler from the US goes to another country for vacation in the summer.  He asks his hosts why they don’t have The Fourth of July in their country.  The hosts assure him “of course we have The Fourth of July, right after the third and before the 5th.  The calendar would look odd without it.” Or something along those lines.

So, I’ll stick with calling it Independence Day.  But that also sends my brain down a little trail around the word “independence.”  And that’s what I want to talk about today. Independence, as in being free of something.  And free to do something else.

Is there something that you are currently dependent on, or a situation that you are currently in that you seek to be independent from? Let’s consider, is there a situation or relationship that isn’t currently working? And what would we choose instead?

Could you benefit from independence from a habit that is not supporting you? And what would we choose?

And let’s turn it into more positive language – perhaps it’s not independence from something.  But, instead something that you’d like to see improved, enhanced.   As in, if I made these positive changes, I could be independent to do x, y or z.

Whatever that looks like for you. Independence Day.

As I consider Independence, I’m reminded that sometimes we don’t even realize what we are dependent on.  It is more likely that we haven’t identified the habits or things that we need independence from, and less likely that there just aren’t any.

Perhaps it’s a mindset, a way of thinking, that isn’t serving us.

How to?

  • We start with knowing what it looks like when we’re being our best selves.
  • We Identify what is keeping us from being our best selves.
  • We break down those things, habits, ways of being that are in the way and we take action to change them. 
  • And, starting the process all over again. And that’s ok.

We can always be learning and improving.

What is it that you would need to become independent from?  And what are we using our independence for?

As both an organizational coach and a certified professional organizer, let’s use Independence from Our Stuff as an example.

Perhaps you have unhealthy habits around your stuff, and you could benefit from independence from those habits and your stuff!  I subscribe to emails from a woman named Dana White with the Website, YouTube channel etc., “A Slob Comes Clean”.  In her content she talks about her “deslobification” journey and I really respect her insight and perspective of how a disorganized person got organized.  It’s great, if you want to check her out. 

Recently, she was talking about shopping, and how her negative habits around shopping were contributing to her mounting clutter.  She mentioned that she used to go to garage sales and fill up the car all the time with more stuff because she was waiting for stuff to be the answer to her life questions.

She was creating bigger problems for herself by continuing with unhealthy habits.

To break free from the stuff, she also needed to be less dependent on the habits around acquiring more stuff.  If this was you or me in this example, we can see that we need to break free of bad habits to become independent of our clutter.

What if you need to assert your independence from negative thoughts or thinking that isn’t helping you.

Working with a coaching client the other day, we were discussing how her thoughts often get stuck in a rut, just circling or spinning, without a way to move on from that spinning (and leaving her overwhelmed, stressed out, distracted, etc.).

Can you relate?  I can relate.

This client was seeking independence from these swirling negative thoughts because she knew there was more happiness, peace and calm to be found on the other side. 

She is sometimes unhappy, overwhelmed, distracted, etc.  She is SUPER smart, accomplished professionally, has a satisfying personal life… and she still needs independence from her current thinking habits.

Again, can you relate?  I can relate.

As we worked it through. She expressed what is going on in her head. She recognized where she wants to go and how she wants to be, and she recognized she isn’t there yet. She also identified what was holding her back from happiness and peace. And getting a handle on her swirling thoughts would give her the freedom to think how she wants to think.

Anecdotally, we discovered together that writing down the thoughts that were swirling in her head would give her a chance to inspect and organize them and also make a record her learning.  So she wouldn’t have to keep thinking the same thoughts over and over again, and she could think about something else instead.  Sounds like independence to me.

I will say that for me, I have, over time, broken free of or become more independent of my perfectionist tendencies.  That way of being didn’t serve me well. I struggled with perfectionism and therefore procrastination when my kids were really little.  Time management was harder when they were little and  my responsibilities and my time were not my own. But I could change my tendencies and that is what I managed to do.

I am no longer a perfectionist because who has the time?

Was that quick? No.

Was it easy? Probably not, but I don’t remember.

Is it possible? Yes, it absolutely is. And now I can live differently. And better.

But that’s the question I’m asking you today as we celebrate Independence Day, what is it that you would like to become independent from?

What habits are no longer serving you?

What is it time for you to separate yourself from?  Thing. Habit, thought, whatever.

I look forward to hearing what that could be for you. I hope that you are, uh, motivated to think of things like that. I am thinking big thoughts this summer, but that was one that I wanted to share with.

Happy Independence Day, how ever you would like to embrace it!