Tag: Life Coaching

Advice For Life’s Next Chapter

Did you know? I have the honor and responsibility of being an elected official as a member of our local Board of Education. Evergreen Park Elementary School District 124, to be specific.

I do consider it both an honor and a responsibility. It is a decision that we make, to pursue and support education, to serve our communities. And I love it. And some day, I don’t. Most days I do.

I love that I get to serve and support 1800+ students and 300+ staff members. I get to help make our community stronger. Yes, it’s cool. I occasionally get to do cool things. And, sometimes I have to do really hard things, and sometimes I have to do things that are not cool. And all of that is ok, because, again, it is a decision we make to serve and I don’t take that lightly.

Today, though, I want to talk about a cool thing. One of the perks.

Every year, the Board Of Education members, as we distribute diplomas, shake the hands of and look in the eyes and smile at our 8th grade Central Middle School graduates as they finish their time in Evergreen Park Elementary School District 124, and move on to high school and the next stages of their lives. And it’s awesome. And for the last few years, as President, I also get to give a speech.

I get to address the families and our staff that are there, and I get this one last opportunity to speak to our students. I spend a lot of time considering what message I want to deliver to the students.

I try to write words that I hope the students remember, and, well, if they don’t, it’s recorded so they can go back and listen to it again on YouTube if they want. But as any good speaker knows, the words I say are not about me as the speaker, they are about the audience, our students. What do I hope they take with them when they go?

And, as I wrote this intro for today’s content, I am thinking ahead because I have an opportunity to address our staff before the first day of school in a few weeks. I’m already considering what exactly do I want our staff members to take with them that day, too. What do they need to hear and know as they start the school year? I want them to know how much I appreciate them, how much the BOE appreciates them, how truly amazing they are in guiding our most precious commodity, our students. And that I really do believe we have just the best staff. So I will be telling them that in five minutes or less, in a few weeks.

As I wrote the words for our students, it made my heart happy that I had one last chance to speak to them all before we parted ways. And for us today, I thought it might be fitting as we all shift into August, and perhaps are sending students back to school or we might be adjusting our schedule and thinking our next big thoughts, maybe these words are for you, too.

Good evening.

It is my absolute honor and privilege to have a few moments to address the central middle school class of 2024 this evening.

I want to say “Thank You” to all of you here for coming.  And not just coming to this graduation ceremony.  

I know all that goes in to getting to this point. 

Thank you to our teachers and staff who have instructed and guided our kids along the way. 

These students have benefited immeasurably from these dedicated, passionate educators.  

I thank every one of you for your service.  

These educators arrive early, stay late, they’re in the classrooms and hallways, at extra events on evenings and weekends, they are always available via email.  Trust me, I know. 

And they truly have our student’s best interests in mind.  We are so fortunate, and I am so grateful.

Thank you, parents.  And grandparents and aunts and uncles and all those folks who also show up. 

Every day. 

I’m not even going to finish the equation, of number of mornings multiplied by number of school years so far!  Backpacks packed, homework, gym uniforms, sport uniforms, band instruments, car pools, field trips, forms completed.  Then there are the games and concerts and events that we are seriously SO happy to attend.  Thank you, parents and loved ones.

Students – yes, tonight is about you, but some time this evening, Please stop and look your parents and grandparents and significant adults in the eyes and thank them for helping you get to this occasion.  They love you so much, trust me.

Now, I would like to address our graduates.

  • Every person here this evening is here because of you.
  • We are reflecting on where you have been, celebrating with you for where you are, and dreaming big with you for where you are going.

Students, I have four things to ask of you this evening.  

First, Do the right thing, even when no one is watching.  

Don’t bother with easy, or just skating by, because you think no one will notice.  YOU will notice.  

And once you know you can count on yourself to do the right thing, your confidence and capacity for doing the right thing will grow.  

Perhaps you’ll find yourself in a situation and you’re not sure what the right thing to do is?  Go with kindness.  Justice.  Fairness.  Thinking and thoughtfulness.  Those are always going to be the right thing.  And The Right thing might not be what everyone else is doing, but that’s ok, they are just waiting for you to set an example.

Second, Find your people.  

Look around, and see the people that are doing what you want to do, what you aspire to do.

Surround yourself with good people who will lift you up, build you up.  

Who aren’t about drama, who are also the ones doing the right thing even when no one is looking.

Find and appreciate those people, and more importantly, strive to be that best person for others.    

Next, Embrace the small and powerful word – Yet.

Three small letters, y e t.

Yet.

We may think we need to have everything figured out.  And we will.  That day will come.  But it might not be here Yet.  And that’s ok. Open your mind and your heart, and be kind to yourself as you figure things out.

Finally, Start and end with gratitude.  

Be grateful for your natural born talents and your diligently honed skills.  

Be grateful for your family who loves you, for the education you are working for, for your friends and our community.  

Imagine, remembering just one thing you’re grateful for as you start and finish your day every day. 

Imagine how great that would feel, and how much that small habit would positively impact your life.  

To Recap:

Do the Right Thing.  

Find Your People.

Embrace Yet.

And Start and End with Gratitude

I’m going to take my own advice here, and end by saying thank you, Central Middle School class of 2024. I can’t wait to see what each of you will continue to achieve in big and small ways, in the years to come.  Congratulations and Well Done!

Find Focus and Fight Distraction!

Recently, I recorded a live video on my back deck. I wanted to talk about Focus. I was feeling out of focus, just blurry. And I was taking steps to get back on track and thought that would be helpful to my community to talk through.

What is really funny to me is that the video did not go well!

The day before, a friend had mentioned that she had “seen my car videos on Instagram”. I do not want that to Be The Thing! “Colleen recording from her Car”! So, I wanted to shake things up a little. I couldn’t record from my front stairs, as I have also done, because we were watering the grass that morning. So, back deck was plan C. I scrapped the first recording. On my second try, as soon as I started recording, my neighbor came out of his house (I live in the Chicago area and my back door is very close to my neighbor’s back door). So I adjusted. And then his dog – and I like my neighbors and the dog – started barking. And then there was a train a mile away that decided to blow its horn. A Lot.

You get the idea.

And this was a recording about focus. Life is just funny.

Sometimes I feel out of focus. I think we all do.

I could spend time dissecting WHY I lost focus. And that is important long term, I suppose. Personally, I am clear on WHY I was feeling unfocused last week. But for today’s purpose, I want to talk about how to find focus again, sharing basic tools to Find Focus and Fight Distraction.

First, we have to start with recognizing the lack of focus. Then, we can think about what to do about it!

When I teach productivity and time management, I mention that one of the most empowering things to know is that we ourselves can change and improve our situation for better productivity and satisfaction. Knowing there are adjustments that I can make helps me to feel better immediately!

So the topic of Focus, and what adjustments we can make when focus is lacking. Because I know for me, I can’t always force focus. And sometimes I try. Early in lockdown, it came to light that I talk to myself while I work from home. Often, to loudly tell myself to FOCUS! And yelling at me, forcing focus… doesn’t work.

Let’s look at what DOES work!

  • The first step, as it always is in coaching, is Awareness. In this case, awareness that you’re out of focus.
  • I have several check-in points in my days:
    • I can use times of transition – like leaving the house, or coming home, or leaving a client’s house or arriving at my next appointment; or
    • There are natural times, too, like getting up, getting out of the shower, transitioning from work day to family time, etc., and these are all great opportunities to check in on myself and my focus.
  • Many times a day, I do a Body Scan
    • If I am feeling unfocused, I can ask some easy questions and check in with me.
    • First question is, What needs need to be met?
      • Maybe I am STARVING! Yep, that can steal focus and cause distraction.
        • Blood sugar can dip, our brains (and bodies) need food and energy to function.
      • Maybe I am Thirsty.
      • I can check in on that body scan – is there anywhere that I am holding tension? Do I have pain or discomfort anywhere?
      • Am I too hot or too cold? I have to say, in summer, I often find myself unfocused because my office is REALLY HOT in the late afternoon and that makes me drowsy. So, I can pull the blinds, turn on a fan, move to a different area of the house, etc! If I’m aware!
      • Maybe it’s time to get up, stretch, take a nature break, etc!
  • Awareness, too – Here is something we don’t often realize that affects us: Our senses.
    • Working in a too dark or too light room can be distracting, even if we don’t realize it. So, check in!
    • Noises – more or less – yes, these matter, too!  Often, we have auditory distractions that are not consciously registering.  So, intentionally scan our selves and our surroundings can help us adjust our environment
  • Other tools we can use:
    • Breathwork:
      • Also in my time management classes, I teach basic breathwork.
      • I teach my participants square breathing – Inhale for 4 counts, hold for 4 counts, exhale for 4 counts and hold 4 counts. That’s IT! This can be a 30-60-90 second exercise – I usually call it a mini-vacation – where we concentrate just on our breath.
      • The re-focusing of our thoughts with the added bonus of an more oxygenated brain almost always helps me to refocus.
    • The Pomodoro Method for productivity,
      • The cycle of 25 minutes of work and 5 minutes of rest that we practice in my Finish Line Friday sessions is a tool I use ALL DAY EVERY DAY to get things done.
      • 25 minutes of work 5 minutes of break, and the reminders to re-focus, just in case I have gotten off track.
      • If we’re going to talk about rest, that leads me to the reminder of my recent podcast on rest and recovery. Check that out if you would like to know more.
    • Body Doubling:
      • If you find you’re feeling distracted, and lacking focus, by all means try some of these other tools as well, but also consider phoning or checking in w a friend via text, then open a zoom room or join a group!
      • You can change your location, too, to work near someone around you who IS focused. Since it’s back-to-school time, I think of a library.
      • In college, I would set up in the library and the entire space was dedicated to focus! Quiet, separate from personal distractions, just the work I needed to do in front of me, and other people around me who were seeking the same focused work! So consider what that looks like for you!
  • What does finding your focus look like to you? Consider these tools next time you feel the focus un-focusing!

Metrics In The Dentist Chair!

Today, I want to talk about metrics. Performance metrics, to be specific, though applied to personal development.

Metrics. Let me explain:

I don’t know if you know this. I didn’t, for certain.

At my dental check up this week, my very nice hygienist, Mary Kate, was very good at explaining what she was doing. I was meeting Mary Kate for the first time, and perhaps she is always this thorough but no one else had ever talked me through the process.

I’ve had teeth for 50-some years now and I just learned from Mary Kate about perio-charting or probe scores. So there you go. There’s your new idea for the day. Perio-charting or probe scores.

The hygienist uses a tool which I’ve never looked closely at before. It’s kind of pointy, looks a little scary. There are lines on the probe that allow the hygienist to quantify the health of my gums.

The goal is to not have a lot of recession, I guess, or dips in the gums around your teeth. And the farther your gums recede, the higher the number of stripes on this tool that they see when they poke your gums, and the more damage you have and the more concerned you need to be, or the more work that needs to be done.

I didn’t know this. Did you know this? I thought it was very cool!

As I sat in the dentist’s chair, I was already reflecting about this article that I wanted to write about Metrics and here I was presented with an excellent example of quantifying something that I didn’t even realize was quantifiable, in the interest of gauging current status and also checking in again later to determine progress over time.

Yep, that’s a Metric. Performance metrics are used to measure the behavior, activities and performance of a business. Or a person, for today’s purpose of my podcast and newsletter.

Mary Kate explained there is an objective, standard, quantifiable, reproducible number to measure gum health. If you have a score of four or under, your gums are pretty healthy. A little higher and we should start to worry. And a seven or eight is cause for alarm. (Mine were healthy, by the way!)

A different hygienist in a different office would still get the same number. Because a metric is information that is quantifiable and standardized. And the best part about Metrics is if we measure something, we can also improve upon it and measure our progress over time.

Every six months when I go in, they’re going to use the same tool and the same charting method. We will identify if there is a problem. And if take action to alleviate the problem, we can measure if it’s helping or not. This is huge, right? I mean, we all need to know this!

There are metrics, or habits or activities or progress, that we can identify as being important to us and quantify in some way. Of course, lots of factors are measurable and therefore trackable. And if we can track something, we also can improve something. My website expert Claire reminds me that “if you don’t track it, you can’t improve it”. It comes down to metrics.

So, with metrics, we can:

  • identify what metric, habit or data is important for us to track;
  • identify how or in what increments we want to track it;
  • consider what progress will look like (I would like to extend my walk time from 30 minutes daily to 40 minutes daily over the course of a week);
  • identify how and how often we want to track the habit or data; and
  • set up the habits and tools that help us make this all happen!

As you listen to my podcast about this article, consider that I can check the Podbean app where my podcast is hosted and see how many people listen. I can see the data (metrics) from day to day and from episode to episode. I have a “total downloads” over time. I can see that my numbers are much better at the 25th episode than they were at the first (thank goodness!).

Because “number of listens” and “downloads” are important metrics as an indicator of success, I could also try to boost my numbers more from week to week through marketing or advertising, and then track if those activities have a positive impact on my listens and downloads. Metrics.

Let’s look at where else this could apply.

Lately, I’ve been using metrics to track my health and wellness habits. I track if I completed the habit this day (“Yes, I took a walk” or “No, I did not take a walk”), how many minutes (30, 60, etc.), and how many steps overall in a day. Or…

  • How many hours of sleep I get a night.
  • How many cookies I eat a day (kidding!).
  • How many ounces of water I drink a day.
  • Did I meditate, and for how long?
  • My daily weight.
  • Morning journaling, by number of minutes.

Let’s make this useful to us. What is an area of your life you would like to improve upon, and what would be a metric around it?

  • For example, recently I realized I need to drink more water, for myriad health reasons.
  • I read the recommendations and committed to drinking 100 ounces of fluids per day.
  • I tracked my normal water consumption and realized I was doing okay but I need to do better every day to reach the 100 ounces goal.
  • To make tracking easier, I fill a 32 oz. jar with filtered water first thing every morning and fill my water glasses and bottles through out the day from that jar. I consistently refill the jar one time during the day (64 total), so the goal this week is to refill the jar 2 times during the day to bring me to 96 ounces.
  • I TRACK THE NUMBER OF JARS! I set up an Evernote Document with the “ounces of water” metric, and also others (exercise, meditation, productivity, etc.). I can copy my list of metrics from day to day, and the the document has pre-formatted check boxes I can add to make tracking even easier. I broke the check boxes down into “32 oz jar” increments x 3 every day, and can click the box accordingly.
  • I have reminders on my phone late in the day to track the ounces and also to remind me to finish up if I haven’t yet met the 100 ounce goal.

Since I am tracking my habits, I know if I’m hitting my mark or not. I can celebrate the successes! “Yeah Me! Establishing good habits!”, which helps me stay motivated for tomorrow!

And if I’m not there yet, I can stop and realize that I’m not hitting my mark. Perhaps I give myself a little pep talk! “You know what, I’ve been doing really great. I’ve been exercising for 30 minutes a day. I get good sleep. I’ve been making healthy nutrition choices. But… I’m not drinking enough water.” And then I can ask me, “What else can I do to support this habit?”

Some of the supports are the ideas I am already using.

  • I made tracking fun by creating my own personalized Metrics Document with my list and motivational quotes at the top.
  • I made it easy by creating the daily template of metrics and their check boxes. And it’s also easy because I use Evernote all day every day so adding another document to that habit is easy.
  • I’m pretty consistent with tracking habits in the morning and mid day, but not so much in the evening, so I added another time for an evening reminder. And the timer goes off early enough in the evening that I can still catch up if I want to.
  • It’s fun for me to track metrics, so there’s a dopamine boost that I get from crossing things off the list.
  • And flexibility is actually a big plus, too. Creating my own check list based on my own metrics means that I can add a habit if I want to, or subtract it if I find that it’s no longer helpful.

So, do I want to meditate more, reach out to one family member daily, have time outside in fresh air… or what else? What else do I want to do that would support any kind of healthy habits or, um, wellness activities that I’m trying to accomplish?

Metrics are self knowledge, actual quantifiable data, that we can use to track and then improve behavior.

My challenge to you this week is to consider what is an area of your life you would like to work on, what would a metric to track to indicate progress and success, and to start tracking! I would love to hear from you about a performance metric, either personal or professional, that you want to improve and therefore track. If you have an app that you love and that I could share with others, please let me know!