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“My Tree Has Leaves!” What Do You Need, To Thrive?

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“My tree has leaves!”

I stood in my dining room this morning and exclaimed this excitedly out loud to absolutely no one.

I was drinking my coffee and gazing out my newly washed (over the weekend) front windows and admiring the sunshine and realized my new little tree has leaves! This is noteworthy, trust me.

You see, we had a tree in front of our house for many years. He was so beautiful in the Fall that people would stop and ask if they could pick up some of his leaves because they were so brilliantly colored.

And then, after one of those years with blight or borers, he wasn’t doing so well. We did what we could to help him out for a few years, fertilizer and extra water, etc., but his days were numbered, and eventually our village’s arborist said the tree needed to go before the tree hurt someone or someone’s car if he fell over, or infected other trees.

So we had the tree cut down. We liked having a tree in the front yard, though, so the next Spring we had another tree planted. This new tree had two seasons to thrive, but he never did. The second season, I think he had one leaf. Just one. Sadly, he, too, had to go.

We were assured that our yard and the placement and the type of tree were not the problems, that more likely that particular sapling wasn’t healthy. Fast forward to last Fall when we had another tree installed. Hope springs eternal, right? And since he was installed in the Fall after leaves fell, we had no way of knowing if he was healthy or not. But he is! And now that Spring is here, he has leaves! Now you know why I was rejoicing!

I heard a statement many months ago and it has stuck with me. It was a Facebook reel or tik-tok, and I don’t remember who said it, so if you know and can tell me, I will cite it appropriately. Here’s the quote – “Seeds aren’t lazy and neither are you.”

Meaning, if a seed doesn’t grow, we don’t say the seed is lazy. No one tells the seeds they are lazy. And if you aren’t flourishing, it’s probably not because you’re lazy. Seeds aren’t lazy and neither are you.

What is more likely is that the seed and you don’t have what is needed to thrive.

Like my original tree or my first little sapling. After my original tree was weakened, we tried to support him but he was too far gone. And my first little sapling – well, I have no idea why he didn’t thrive but we were assured that the environment we provided would support a sapling, just not that one apparently.

We can ask what a tree needs – a hospitable environment, the right climate, sunshine, water, opportunity. And patience. And then we step back and let it grow.

Sometimes, a plant can receive too much care. Yes, that is a possibility. Metaphorically and actually.

A couple summers ago, I had what I thought were fruit flies. Except – we don’t leave fruit or any other food out on the counter. And the fruit fly solutions according to the internet, like vinegar and dish soap in a jar or the cool ultraviolet fan thing I bought on Amazon, did not work. And the fruit flies were on my houseplants. So after a little more googling, I determined that the reason the anti-fruit fly solutions weren’t working was because what I thought were fruit flies were fungus gnats. Which I feel sound monumentally more disgusting. But, I digress.

The solution to the fungus gnats, by the way, was to water my plants less and also use a peppermint spray from Amazon that cleared up the gnats in a week. It turns out, you CAN care too much. I was apparently overwatering. I cared a little too much.

Taking the metaphorical leap, often we need to adjust our supports or environment to help us grow. Sometimes we don’t have what we need to thrive, either not enough or too much! And sometimes we just aren’t in the right situation.

Awareness. Awareness. Awareness.

For us to flourish, we may need to take a moment or some time to review where we are, what we need, what we don’t need, and how we will know we are flourishing. But what do we do with that statement? I always want to recommend actionable steps that we can apply this week, or whatever week you are listening to this episode!

Sticking with the plant theme, I will share that I am a joyous but indifferent gardener. I love to plant veggies and herbs and to care for them outside in the summer. I like the “getting my hands in the dirt” and “puttering in the garden” parts of gardening, they are fun and relaxing to me. I also love the “using fresh veggies and herbs from the garden in my cooking” part, I find that fun, too, and it supports my desire to eat healthy and well.

It seems that in my garden and in life, we can walk through the process for a better yield, whether that is tomatoes or priorities or productivity or whatever it is we’re looking to improve! And as I write this article, I realized that last week’s PACT goals article could have been all about gardening, too – the process and not a once-and-done event!

To review, PACT goals stand for: Purpose; Action; Continuous; and Trackable.

Let’s start with our Purpose. For example, I can say “I want to be a better gardener.” And in this example, “better” means more yield per plants.

Next, I need to determine my Actions. I can educate myself by talking to other gardeners (who actually know what they are doing!), reading books or reading up on-line. Once I know more, I could choose to plant dozens of types of vegetables this summer and hope that some of them work out. OR, I could narrow in on fewer types of vegetables and get better at those specifically. Given my small back yard, I will choose to focus on a few types of vegetables and get better at those specifically. For example, I love growing (and eating!) tomatoes but my plants didn’t produce much of anything last year. So I need to learn and take new actions!

Once I know more, I can decide and then act to water more often or less, provide more sun or less, more or less pruning, etc. I can pay attention to what other inputs or supports I can use to improve my outputs. I always use physical supports like a tomato cage, because sometimes we all need more support!

Continuous care is required for plant success. Once I know what actions to take, I need to be consistent with taking them! I will add morning gardening into my summer morning routine, to water and tend. And I will be ready to observe and adjust my regular activities, too, based on progress. And I can track the progress, like plant height, growth, number of flowers (that will turn into tomatoes later), and yield at the end of the season, to learn from the process.

Well-intentioned care, not too much and not too little, and a supportive environment will help my little sapling and my garden grow this summer. Goal setting, and PACT goals specifically, can help us flourish by determining the right supports for us and what we want to achieve, the routine and habits around implementing those supports, and how to make adjustments to be successful.

I took a walk last evening, and I noticed the two trees in front of a neighbors house have the same red-brown leaves my little leafy sapling has (I believe he is a maple). These two trees tall and full and gracious, sharing their shade and beauty with the neighborhood. That is what I want for my little tree and, metaphorically, what I want for you as well. Have a great week!

Time Management Is Stress Management

Have I mentioned? I have this great opportunity multiple times a year.  I teach time and stress management to students in the Highway Construction Careers Training Program, or HCCTP, at two different community colleges in the area.

Let me trace it back. Here’s a reminder that we never know how far our ripples will reach. I owe this opportunity to connections that I made in a professional speaker’s group over 10 years ago now.

And I have to laugh, because there’s so many people that I’m still connected with to this day through that speaker’s group, even though the group disbanded a few years ago. Still connections, friends, network partners, whatever you want to call them, that I met in that professional speaking group.  Many industries were represented, what brought us together was professional speaking.

There was a nutritionist, an insurance broker who I’m still friends with today and who also has a podcast on the Broadcast Basement network.  There was a financial planner who does financial planning presentations, and I’m still connected to him to this day. A friend and network partner who interviewed me on her YouTube channel last Spring, Sabrina Schottenhammel, is a massage therapist and professional speaker and wellness advocate.  And a friend and network partner, Alexandra Glumac, is affiliated with South Suburban College and she is why I started teaching this program, long ago and far away!

I teach time and stress management to the HCCTP hosted at South Suburban College, the Oak Forest campus. They have 4 or 5 groups of students through the program every year.  And because of my experience at South Suburban College, I also teach for a similar program at Kankakee Community College. I get to teach awesome groups of people about time management and stress management.   I started to write today’s episode and article content as I parted ways with Class number 32 last week.  I told them I would give them a shout out.  So, hey, Class 32!  It was great to meet you all!

I started teaching this course around Class number 3 or 4. These groups are in class for 12 weeks, and I speak to them on time management and stress management in their first week of class.  That makes a lot of sense, because by being brave and taking on this coursework, they need time and stress management to make their lives work in the midst of this extra busy time.

And I’m going to be completely transparent.  The stress management is more stressful for me. I know that’s weird, but it’s the truth. Time management is productivity, and hey – that is where I live. That is my jam. That’s what I do. Productivity. Yep. Sign me up. I could talk to you for hours about productivity.  And I probably have, over time.

But the 4 hours of stress management content is newer for this group.  I have only done that 3 or 4 times.  And I’m still trying to get the best right combination of content. My goal is to not stress people out with a lot of work while making sure my participants have the tools they need to succeed.  That is my goal for these groups every time I meet them, to give them tools in their life. And I love that!  I have the coolest job.  And I meet the coolest people. Class 32 challenged me. When they found out I had a podcast, they wanted an episode dedicated just to them.

And here we are.  I can absolutely do that.

We tackled both time management and stress management last week.  And here is the secret, right here.  This is what guides my practices. I feel that so many of the practices that we use in time management are also useful for stress management.

When we feel out of control, unproductive, out of sorts, you know, maxed out because we’re always late, or we never feel like we have enough time to do what we need to do or what we want to do. We don’t feel like we’re making time for the people in our lives. We don’t feel like we’re making time for ourselves.  These are all very stressful situations. And did you hear the words that I said in those statements? Time. Time.

Here’s the premise for today.  I will declare that time management is positively and irrevocably entwined with stress management and stress reduction. Making sure that we’re doing right by that is going to help everything else go better.

If we can get clear on what we want to accomplish in the course of our day and then make it happen, yes, it’s a management of time, but that also decreases our stress levels. We can recognize that and we can work with it.

Here is what our agendas looked like.  In our time management workshops, we begin talking about routines and how our routines can support the things that we need to, to make sure our needs are met in a consistent and regular way. And I’ve talked about routines in other episodes.

In class, we discuss sleep hygiene. Sleep hygiene is the routine we have around getting good sleep.  And we know getting good sleep increases overall health and decreases stress.

We watch a couple cheesy videos from early 2000s on productivity, and talk about priorities and planning and goal setting. We look at Priorities and the Eisenhower box, which I know that I have done an episode before about, I’ve always liked that tool. It’s such a great tool. Because knowing we’re working on what is important decreases stress and increases life satisfaction.

In our time together, because these are students in a highway construction careers training program, we talk about project management. I don’t always talk about project management, it’s a very specific need. These folks are going to be working on projects, though, so we take a first glance at project management to get a feel for how they fit into the bigger picture on a project.

Finally, in time management, we talk through procrastination. Because conquering that delay-for-no-good-reason increases productivity and decreases stress.

The next day, in the stress management component, we talked more about routines. We also talked about Maslow’s hierarchy of needs because we need to be able to identify needs so we can ensure they are consistently met. Because otherwise we get stressed! It is stressful when needs are not met. Physical, safety, psychological, esteem, etc. 

This week, I also shared learning styles with this group.   Learning styles were the topic of last week’s episode. I like the stress management content that I wrote because it is all about the person.  The individual.  There were so many really cool aha ah moments.

We were talking about learning styles, and I mentioned that some of us think in pictures, and some of us think in words, and some of us think in commercials or scenes.  That some of us read the words in front of us, and some of us actually sound the words out in our head when we read.

Just knowing that there’s a difference is so important. A lot of our stress management was talking about awareness.  Self-awareness. Awareness of how we are showing up in the moment.  In coaching, awareness is the first goal.

We talked a lot about that in stress management. We talk about physical awareness.  Like physical needs, and also, you know, awareness of where our stress is in our body. For example, if I’m stressed, my face flushes and my shoulders get tense.  If we know what stress feels like, we can identify it more readily and take steps to decrease it for our own wellness.  I really love that, that physical awareness, that physical scanning of ourselves.

Apparently I do it a lot because a couple of my class participants noted “yeah, you do that all the time”.  I didn’t realize anybody else noticed that, but that’s okay.

Along the lines of checking in physically for stress management, we also practiced square breathing both days. Because to be honest, square breathing is a tool I use EVERY DAY.  If you’re not familiar, it’s a breathing technique where we breathe in for 4 beats, hold the breath for 4 breaths, exhale for 4 breaths and hold the exhale for 4 breaths.  That’s it.  Don’t push it, don’t rush it, don’t make it unnatural.  Just focus on your breathing for 5 – 7 cyles of square breathing.  A 90 second vacation.  It’s lovely. 

So, to recap:

It is great to teach these group, and Class 32, it was lovely to meet you.

Time and stress management are related.  If we can get a handle on our time as a limited and valuable resource, if we can do better with our time management, that will absolutely help us with our stress management as well.

When we better manage our routines, priorities, projects, procrastination, goals, bodies and wellness and sleep and breath – stress goes down.

So those are all time management things. But it sounds a lot like stress management to me, too, right? Time management is also stress management.

I’ll never say we can be stress free. And stress isn’t always bad.  Some stress helps us to perform better.  My concern about teaching Stress Management meant that the night before the class, I made sure to check my bag and make sure that I had everything I needed to teach the group today. It was the elevated stress that helped me to be a better teacher today and to work with my group better. That’s good stress.

But long term stress can cause mental and physical problems.  The nagging, long term, you know, heavy weight of stress sometimes that can absolutely cause us trouble. And again, in transparency, I have been in a very stressful season personally and I really need to rev up my self care. So when life gets more stressful, I know it doesn’t make sense, but we actually need to do more to care for ourselves than we normally would because the demands are so much greater on us. And again, I think I need to say that out loud to myself as well.

In stressful times, we need to do more to care for ourselves because the demands are so much greater on our systems, psychological system, physical system, whatever that looks like. Getting good at time management decreases stress. Yes, let’s do that!

Who’s On The Team? (Wellness Edition)

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Who is on the team?

I’m going to be real and honest this week.  Well, I’m always real and honest, but I am going to talk about things that are a little uncomfortable to talk about because… well… sometimes we need to do the uncomfortable things.

Because they’re the right things to do, even if they’re uncomfortable.

Before we go too far today, I want to start with the end in mind:

  • We need to de-mystify medical issues, wellness and prevention, and we need to talk about stuff.
  • I’m fine. 
  • I am very appreciative of my team, of knowing that I am not alone and that I have very smart people I can call.
  • We need to pursue prevention and wellness in positive terms.
  • I am encouraging all of us this week to map out our plan and make our appointments for 2024.

I am happy to say, I took care of all the recommended wellness screenings and vaccinations for my age group in 2023.  Before you think I’m bragging, trust me – I’m not.  In full transparency, I received my results from the test I took instead of having a colonoscopy on December 28.  So to say I took care of them in 2023… well, I just squeaked that last test into 2023.

The question I want to ask us today is “Who is On The Team?” And let’s think of them as a team, as people who are smarter than us in certain areas and who are here to help us.

This week, that is in health care terms. Here’s the story:

It’s Spring, 2020. I had created a great team, I thought, over the last 20 years with a gynecological practice and primary care practice in the same clinical building.  And then… just as I really needed them in 2020, my gynecologist who delivered all three children retired, the clinical building closed and all the doctors left with no follow up for over 3 months.

Because of that experience, I realize just how important it is to have A Team. And to think of wellness and prevention in positive terms.

I’m always on track with my annual gynecological exams and my mammogram. I struggled with medical issues starting in the summer of 2020 that culminated with a major gynecological surgery in February of 2021, so staying on top of those issues is more important to me than ever and I never miss a year.

However, because I had done so much medical stuff in the 6 months leading up to that surgery, I did not get an annual general physical exam or lab work, etc., in 2022. 

But, I understand the importance of regular screenings and preventive medicine.  I encourage all of us to understand that and to make time NOW to take care of ourselves to save time and heartache later.  So in 2023 I re-committed to prevention and re-examined my team.

I made the calls that needed to be made, I made the appointments, I did the work.  Did I like all of it?  No.  Did I do it anyway?  Yes.  Because, like in organizing, maintenance in wellness is where is the secret and foundation to success.

In 2023, I had not yet had a colonoscopy, even though recent changes to the recommendations tell us that we should start getting those at 45 years old, and let’s face it, I am more than 45 years old. And as my otherwise totally chill and relaxed gynecologist said very strongly at my appointment with her in July, there are worse things than getting a colonoscopy – Like GETTING COLON CANCER. 

In truth, I wasn’t actually worried about getting a colonoscopy.  My hurdles were navigating our insurance, setting aside 2 days to schedule the prep and exam, not wanting to bother anyone with needing to drive me, etc. So, at my annual physical in November, my primary care doctor mentioned Cologuard, a test I could do at home and then send in, and I thought that sounded like a great idea.  (And it still took me a few weeks to do it, after I got the kit!) The “everything looks good, you have 3 years until you have to do it again” were the results I received on December 28.

I am taking a while to get around to what I really want to talk about today.  I added another member to the team recently.  For much of 2023, I had a spot on the right side of my nose that just wouldn’t heal.  It would almost heal, and then I would wake up and it would be bleeding again. 

I am a fair-skinned Irish girl. I have worn SPF 35 or more every day for 23 years. I have two colors – white and red.  There is not much in-between for me.  I have family members who have had skin cancer.  I knew I needed to make the call.  I hesitated for a while because my son was getting married in late September, and I didn’t want to have surgery before that.  It isn’t reasonable, of course, to think this way, but it is what I thought.

So, right after the wedding, I made the appointment for a skin screening, and that screen occurred the first week of November.  They completed a thorough skin screening and took a biopsy of the spot on my nose.  This may sound strange, but even though the dermatologist was also concerned about the spot on my nose, I left the office that day feeling so relieved, knowing that except for that spot, the rest of my skin looked good and healthy. 

I received the results the week after Thanksgiving, that I have a basal cell carcinoma on my nose and it needs to be removed. Let me assure you, this is the blandest, least concerning type of skin cancer there is and I am perfectly fine.  You can google it, if you’d like, goodness knows I did.  And now, I have a Mohs procedure (you can google that, as well) scheduled in two weeks to remove the spot.

Did I want to have the dermatologist appointment?  No.  Did I want to have the screening? No, because I was worried about what they would find. Again, not logical thinking, I know, but that was my thinking nonetheless. And because I was worried, it was EVEN MORE IMPORTANT TO MAKE IT HAPPEN.

What’s really interesting is that now that I have to take a few weeks off around the procedure for recovery and have spoken to clients, friends and peers about scheduling, I have heard just how common this procedure is. Thirty percent of fair skinned people will have it in their life time. As soon as I mentioned that I have to do this, I learned that many people I know have already had this procedure. Which goes back to the the statement – we need to de-mystify medical conditions and talk about stuff more openly.

Which is what I am doing today.

So, back to the original question.

Who’s on the team?

  • My chiropractor, my massage therapist and my nutrition response testing provider (all at the same office), and I probably see them the most often;
  • dermatology practice;
  • gynecologist practice;
  • eye doctor (just had my 6 month check-up this past week);
  • my primary care doctor; and
  • my dentist.
  • I’ve also worked with and can call on them again – a nutritionist, a healer, a physical therapist, an oriental medicine practitioner and acupuncturist, and a therapist.
  • More importantly, who needs to be on your team? What are the recommended tests and screening for people your age? If you haven’t already scheduled those for 2024, may I gently suggest you give those some thought this week?

So, let’s review.

  • We need to de-mystify medical and wellness and prevention, and we need to talk about stuff.
  • We need to examine the excuses we tell ourselves, because sometimes those stories are wrong.
  • I’m fine. 
  • I am very appreciative of my team, of knowing that I am not alone, of knowing I have very smart people I can call, and of thinking about prevention and wellness in positive terms.
  • And I am encouraging all of us this week to map out our plan and make our appointments for 2024.

What does that look like for you?

Using the terminology from last week’s podcast and article, start with the easy and the obvious.

Schedule your dentist appointments, your eye doctor appointment, your annual physical. You don’t have to complete them right now, but please, get them on the calendar for some time in 2024. And if doing that all at once feels overwhelming, place a reminder on the first day of each month to call one office and make one appointment. Or, make that note for your birthday of the month – meaning, for me, the 7th of every month could be wellness day. I always use my birthday in the Fall as a reminder to get my flu shot.

If you don’t know what the recommended screenings are for your age group, ask your primary care provider or google it. Have the uncomfortable conversations, make the tough phone calls. Be the leader of your wellness team and make your plan!

To paraphrase the words of my doctor last summer, what’s worse than the screenings and vaccines to prevent illness? Actually having the illness! Mobilize that team!

Start With The Easy and Obvious. Just Start.

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Let’s Start with Starting. 

Some days, our most important word is “start”.

I received a text from a client this week. She is delightful. I work with the most amazing people.

She is an in-person organizing client.  We were scheduled to work together later that day, and she was thinking through her project list and what she wanted to accomplish that day. She has a few high priority projects and determining where specifically we needed to spend our time since we would not be able to accomplish all the projects in the time we had scheduled. She didn’t know if we should start on putting away the Christmas decoration bins or start on the basement storage space or start on the clean and dirty laundry in the primary bedroom and walk-in closet.

And, of course, this is a great question to ask. Where to spend our time? But more importantly, of course, is that all of those options start with the word start. Because if we want to make progress in any direction we have to start. 

In this case, we started with the easy and the obvious, with the big project RIGHT IN FRONT OF US, which was laundry.

If you also wonder where to start on your organizing projects, here is the answer:

  • Start with the easy and the obvious.
  • Start with a project that is small.
  • Start with a project that is completely straightforward and un-emotional.
  • Start with the project that you’ve already made progress on or is almost done.
  • Start with the obvious. If you want to organize your kitchen today, load up the dishwasher and clean out the sink first before you open one cabinet or drawer. 
  • Start with the easy.  Take out all the trash and recycling.  Those are already-made decisions and getting that all out the door can jump start our motivation.
  • Start with what is on the floor in front of you, because that will make taking a next step easier.
  • Of course, You can always start with the hard and intimidating, too, but that is a topic for another article!

Just so you know, this article is not just about physical organizing.

My organizing work also utilizes the skills I’ve learned in coaching because in the best organizing sessions, the conversation stays solidly with the client, the client gains awareness, we utilize clear communication and powerful questions, and we set my client up to continue to succeed.

This client texted me that she was overwhelmed. She had small children home this week due to the cold and snow here in Chicago. The holidays wrapped up less than a month ago.  January activities are in full swing. I say all of this because, hey, who among us hasn’t felt overwhelmed?

She was asking for guidance around prioritizing work and projects.  She is clear on what her projects are but was sorting out where was the best place to start.  She was crafting her plan for our time together based on needs (hooray!!!).  And for our purposes that day, the answer was Start with the Easy and the Obvious.

So regardless of if we’re working on organizing a bedroom or in coaching, setting our professional goals for 2024, the process and questions are similar!

We determine needs – in my client’s example, the needs were physical spaces that needed to be organized, for better functioning of her home and therefore some peace of mind. 

Next, how do we prioritize? What shall we do, first , second, third, etc.? Let’s make sure that what we’re working on, in organizing or in coaching, is important. That it will move us towards our goals, will improve our lives. Let’s think it through.

For this client, we could look at our three options, Christmas bins, storage space or clothes, and we could acknowledge that all three were important but taking care of the clothes and laundry would help immediately.  So, we started with the Easy and the Obvious right in front of us.

And once we know what to do and when, let’s actually make the work happen.

SO THEN WE START.  And the twist here is that STARTing is the easy and obvious step to take.

My client started the work when we set the appointment for this week a month ago. 

She started the work when she reached out to me earlier in the day to tell me that she was overwhelmed but still willing to work.

She started the work when she texted me to talk through priorities.

And when I got to her house, after we talked through things a little bit longer, we DOVE IN and made great progress on the clothes / laundry / bedroom project.

If you, too, are wondering where to start on your organizing projects, let’s review.

  • Start with the easy and the obvious.
  • Start with a project that is small or impersonal or already started or almost complete.
  • Start with what is right in front of you.
  • Just start.

What does that look like for you this week?  Sure, this has been about an organizing project, but let’s ask the question about you personally.

What is easy and obvious? What simple things can you change to make things better in 2024? 

  • Want to eat healthier?  Bring home healthy foods.
  • More exercise or movement?  Every time that idea occurs to you, stand up and move around your space.
  • Improve your relationships? Text a friend.
  • Better sleep in 2024? Got to bed.  No really.

Start.  Just start.

Arriving On Time, in 5 Minute Increments!

You are a responsible human being.

Congratulations!

You make a conscious decision to not procrastinate on important things – Also, congratulations.

You have places to go and things to do, and you leave with time to get where you need to go.

Aces.

You don’t like to be late, and you don’t like to add unnecessary stress to your, or anyone else’s, day.

Rock on. 

And yet… sometimes you still run late.  Or get stressed. (And you can still be an amazing and responsible human being and still occasionally run late.)

But, what gives?

At an event last week, a person asked me exactly this question.

They do all the right things. 

They pay attention to their calendar, their schedules.

They respect their own time and others’ time.

They have a realistic time estimate of how long their regular commutes take.

They allot the proper amount of time to get where they are going.

This is all great news.

But they mentioned that even for the event that we were both attending that day, having left the office with what they considered plenty of time to get to where they were going, they still felt like they were running late and made it just on time.  There were clearly still snags, so we chatted some more.

The obvious fix could be adding in a few minutes extra for just in case, like just in case they got stopped by a co-worker in the hallway.  But they already do that.

So I asked a few more questions, since they have already conquered so many stumbles around planning, respect and awareness.  And because they were arriving with no time to spare and also still stressed.

And I asked if, when they were getting ready to leave to come to this event, if they had factored in the extra two or three minutes we all need as transition time.  And the answer was no.

You know, the “not necessarily-stand up and immediately leave their office” part, but the three to four minutes of small tasks that they might need to complete between the standing up and the leaving the office.

For example, taking their phone off the charger and putting it in their pocket.

Making sure they have their ID and key fob so they can get back in the office.

Checking the outside temperature on the weather app to determine if they need to grab their jacket.

Or glancing out the window and running back for an umbrella.

Getting almost to the door, and then taking the moment to log off their computer because they need to safely do that because they work in a shared workspace and they need to be safe and responsible with their computer.

Maybe they need to find their glasses or sunglasses.

You know, the “Pat the Pockets” sequence that takes time.

A client called it the floss and gloss, with a mirror next to the back door to check her smile.

So phone, keys, glasses.

So it’s not even necessarily like other people distracting them at this point, but it’s recognizing that very often stand up is also not leave time factor in anybody else into that equation.

In my article and podcast Never Be Late Again, we call this the difference between Load Time and Leave time

And, what if this person was going to walk across campus with a friend, and now they have to wait for their friend’s Pat the Pockets sequence.

The first suggestion for this person to arrive on time and and stress less is to be aware of what those leaving the office tasks are and how long they take, and factor those few extra minutes into their commute time.

The second suggestion  I had for this person to get better at leaving and arriving on time and stressing less is to take a few well-placed minutes at the end of our trip, too.  I called this the ambulance driver analogy in a recent podcast. But here is how it played out just yesterday here at my desk.

We went to the Bears Game yesterday.  It was a beautiful day on the lakefront, a great day for a football game, and we won! 

Security has special bag requirements so I carried my needed items (id, credit card, a few dollars, lip balm, a car key) in my pocket.   The usual, right?  And when I got  home, everything came out of my pocket and into a pile on my desk (it’s right by the door), before I changed my clothes and grabbed a glass of water. And within a few minutes, I sat down at my desk and filed all the things.  ID, cash and credit card back to my wallet, and wallet back in my purse. Key back on the keyring and clipped to my purse. Sunglasses and lip balm back in the front pocket of my purse. And if I do this consistently and trust the process, I don’t have to add the 10 minutes panicked scramble to find my car keys to my leaving the house next time process!

Next up are the 5 minutes dedicated to hidden time leaks.

This suggestion is inspired by a different conversation I had at the same event.  I was chatting with a fellow presenter about mom-time.  Because we do not live in a perfect world. 

We discussed planning for her child’s doctor appointment. And how if the appointment is at 10 am, and it takes 5 minutes to get there and 5 minutes to park and walk in, we still need to head out the door 30 minutes before.  Because…

  • someone will have forgotten something and need to run back in the house for it;
  • there are always forms to fill out;
  • it’s only one floor and you could take the stairs more quickly but the kids love to ride the elevator; and / or
  • doctor appointments are stressful enough without also running late for them.

We called this mom-time, because it happens to us all the time as moms.  But it could happen to any of us, truly.

Those unsaid words as we set up a doctor appointment – always leave time to fill out paperwork!, or always leave time to find a parking spot (hey, I live in Chicago, it’s a thing!), or if it’s winter, always leave time to scrape your car window if there’s snow or ice.

And the final 5 minute suggestion has to do with 5 minutes the day before

I’ve talked about Many Bag Days recently. 

And the event that I mentioned from last week?  Yes, that was a five bag day. Started the day (bag #1) with an early client appointment(bag #2), had to change my clothes (bag #3) and then head to this networking event where I was presenting (bags #4 and 5). Yes, it was a 5 Bag Day. 

And when I say I have a many bag day, those bags have to get packed at some point in my house and then also get into my car. So, the bags have to get packed, get lined up at the back door and then get into the car.

And really, that process starts with a few minutes per bag of planning. 

  • The purse and the go bag are always packed and ready.
  • But, the days I need to pack clothes for a costume change?  (I call that ‘pulling a superman’) Yep, I need to choose my clothes/shoes/jewelry and get it ready to travel.
  • And the presenting days?  For this event, I pulled out my promotional items, extra handouts, a bowl of candy (of course), clipboard and pens, a snack and a water bottle.  And I check all that over a day ahead, in case I need to restock anything.
  • None of these steps take a lot of time.  But if I left them all to the end, to the As I AM LEAVING THE HOUSE moment, I would be sooooo late.

The bags were waiting for me because the night before, I took time to mentally walk through my next day and determine what it was that I needed to do. Pre-planning is essential, because a Many Bag Day only works if the bags are already packed well before, or at least a bit before, we need to leave.

So, success in leaving and therefore arriving on time relies on small but consistent and quick habits around pre-planning, leaving and arriving.

Yes, we need to understand how long it takes us to get places, realistic time estimates are essential.

AND there are additional habits we can put in place to make our days run more smoothly. Adding in a few minutes before we leave, when we arrive home, added to our trip time and also the day before can make every transition more successful!

It’s Planning Day! For Me and For You!

I want to get back to the procrastination topics we started a few weeks ago, especially since I’ve been hearing from a lot of you about procrastination!

However… that is not where my brain is today. And instead of fighting my brain, I realized I could use this as a teaching and learning moment for you and for me! Procrastination is important, but it will still be waiting for me when i get back to it (a little procrastination joke there).

Instead, Today is Planning Day! Capital P, capitol D.

Planning Day is more than just a plan for the next hour or today or this week, even though those are great places to start!

PLANNING Day looks a little farther out. As in, Let’s look at this month, this quarter, this year! Where do I want to see me by November 1, or January 1, or by my next birthday?!

Today is a planning day for a lot of reasons. It’s a planning day because it is a new month and a new season.

Today is a planning day because it’s a new quarter. Q Four. I know, that sounds very business-y, but I am running a company here, so things sounds business-y from time to time. Even if I don’t say things like Q3 and Q4 out loud, I think in those terms all the time. Q Four matters, and I like to set goals for quarters and for the year.

Last week, at the end of the third quarter, I checked in on my Q3 goals to see what I had completed or not. And I am quite satisfied with my goal completion rate for Q3.

love this idea from borrowedheaven.com!

And now it’s time to look at what I want to accomplish before the end of 2023. It’s crazy to think about, right? Just this week, I have scheduled several organizing presentations for January and February of 2024. I already had some on the books, but now I have a whole lot more, which is very exciting, but seeing 2024 in print on the contracts, it is quite noteworthy.

For me, it’s a planning day because my oldest son and my daughter-in-law were married the end of September. And it was lovely. There were friends, there was family. The weather was perfect. Everything went smoothly. It’s just wonderful. And there was a lot of work and planning that went into that ahead of time, mostly on the part of the bride and groom. But it occupied my mind and parts of my schedule for the last couple of weeks, too. And now it is blessedly, wonderfully, complete. And then the rest of the world comes back in. It’s a planning day because I need to plot my course , post-wedding.

It’s a planning day, too, because October is my birth month, and I always feel retrospective around my birthday and also, eager to plot my course for the next year. A great time to check in on things, right?

Join me for Planning Day, here’s how!

First, Planning takes time. So set aside some time.

On my schedule this week, today did not start out as a planning day but some client cancellations provided some much needed white space. Sometimes, I end up planning as I drive (I think really clearly when I drive), or spontaneously in an early morning writing session. But, truly, Planning is too important to leave up to chance, so don’t do it that way!

My suggestion is, Don’t wait for a cancellation or a found opportunity. Put Big Picture Planning on the schedule! As I write this, I just hopped into my google calendar and scheduled planning sessions the last week in December and the first week in January.

Next, Give yourself some grace. I want to give myself grace and ask you to do the same in general, in life.

We are so quick to judge ourselves.

I was talking with a client yesterday – she knows who she is! – She was reporting that she didn’t get what she was supposed to get done since our last appointment. And then she mentioned she had COVID since our last appt. THAT MATTERS! That wins. That absolutely wins!

We took a moment to say, look at what you DID accomplish, even with a few weeks of not feeling so great! And we did that before we jumped into the day’s tasks.

I think I am the first one to do that to myself as well. I could look at my list and my schedule and go, oh wow, I’ve got all this stuff to do. What is wrong with me? And the answer is Nothing. Absolutely nothing is wrong with me, life happened. And it was amazing. And now I get to choose how else I want to spend my time.

Therefore, Grace.

Then, Look at the Done List:

I find this step fun and gratifying, but often overlooked. Last week or month or quarter, you got things done! Yeah you!

We can absolutely be proud of what we accomplished. And I am proud. So, look at that done list. Take a moment and bask and revel in what you DID get done.

Last week my accountability partner reminded me that in addition to all the other q3 goals I had, I also successfully helped my mom move to a new home in August. That wasn’t on the original q3 list, but it is noteworthy and made it on the Q3 done list!

A fellow organizing coach Shannon wrote in a recent FB post that she was ready to apologize for not posting a lot recently on SM (I’m guilty of that, too), but then she shifted her perspective and shared what she DID accomplish in the last month or two. And the list was long and fabulous, impressive, wonderful, amazing. And I really appreciated her shift in perspective. It came at just the right time for me to read as well, because it would be easy to get frustrated with what I need to do or what hasn’t gotten done.

OK, and now for the planning:

Look ahead. It’s time to take action, but if we haven’t planned, how do we know what the right action is? Yeah, there’s a truth bomb.

Without a plan, without having sat down and thought about these things, how do you actually know what the right action is?

So we’ve talked about focus areas and I think that’s a great place to start. For a refresher, check out episode #5 I think? Last Decmeber, 2022! Start with what is important to you!

Talking with a client on Monday, she was feeling discombobulated and I absolutely understand. And in the next breath, she was also telling me all the wonderful things that she did with and for her family recently, about a huge professional accomplishment and a huge work project that she successfully completed.

So I used the image of focus areas, but she kind of liked the idea of lanes, or columns on a whiteboard of the different areas of her life.

So family, kids, specific per family member. In addition, she is a professional musician and also has an artistic job not related to music, Home, personal, wellness, personal development. Each had a lane, and she saw them like traffic, with different lanes moving at different speeds but all in the same direction.

List your focus areas (for example, mine are School Board, Ministry, Home / Family, Personal / Wellness, Education and The Company.)

List those focus areas, and then jot down some reasonable 3 month goals, milestones or plans around those focus areas.

What that might look like for me:

In addition to regular board work, two Q4 School Board Goals are: we start a Policy Review this week for the next 6-12 months, and we also have our Annual Conference in November.

In addition to regular weekly ministry, two Q4 Ministry Goals are: my annual Baptismal Prep photo project, and Joyful and successful planning and completion of the liturgical Advent season; Because as a liturgical musician, Advent and Christmas are where it’s at!

Looking at Home and Family, successful Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays would be on the list. And under those items I would list some of the ways I will accomplish these, like communication with family members regarding events, completing the actual days, gift giving, celebrations, etc.

Education: I’ve dropped the ball in this area and 2 goals would be to complete my next certification with the ICD, and read 6 non-fiction books before 12/31/2023.

Looking at my company, I want to set on goal in each of my subcategories. So, one each – a Coaching Goal, Client Goal, Speaking Goal, Community Building Goal and Operations Goal. One thing that I need to accomplish today and this week, in addition to recording this particular podcast, is I also need to plan out my, content calendar for Q Four.

And I have to admit that I have been kind of I haven’t really made note of the plan.

There is a plan, but right now it’s in my head, and I need to actually jot it down per week as to what I want to talk about. If there’s articles I’ve already written that I can use as resources. And it will make my entire quarter go more smoother if I can get that at least on it’s not really on paper, but like, in my planning document today, that would be such a huge help.

PLANNING DAY!

So those are my focus areas. Let’s ask some questions:

  • What are your focus areas, what is important to you?
  • What is one thing that you would like to accomplish by the end of Q4?
  • What will you be proud to look back on, in three months?
  • What has been lingering around on your to-do list, and you know life will be so much better if you just get this thing squared away?
  • Where do I want to see myself by the time I hit my next birthday?
  • Throw in some easy goals, too! some goals are easy to see and even accomplish, but they still need to be listed! For example, obviously, Thanksgiving and Christmas will happen, whether I set them as a goal or not. But they become a place holder and a reminder – yes, these events will take effort, and also their successful completion warrants celebration and a feeling of accomplishment.
  • And leave some room for fun and joy!

So that’s my Planning Day!

So plan with me today or this week. So this is what I’m doing today, and I recommend at least once in a while that you do it for yourself as well.

And if this is one of those things that you need to go back and listen to when it’s Q One for 2024, great. I love it. Let’s do it.

I have these podcasts and articles available all the time to refer back to – 45 episodes so far – if there is something you need a refresher or reminder about.

I hope that you take some time for planning this week. Do it as a gift to yourself. Chart your course not just for the next hour or day or week, but also month and quarter and maybe even year.

I hope you found this helpful. I know it was helpful for me to talk it out, so thank you for listening!

Put Things AWAY! Before procrastination makes us stumble!

I have spent time, in podcasts and articles and newsletters, this year talking about how much easier life is when we leave a few bags packed.

Those bags included, for example, my bag of chargers, my toiletry bag and my go-bag for work. It’s great to have those things ready to grab and go, knowing that they and you are ready for everything.

I love that.

However, I want to take a step back on the “You Are Ready” part. And recognize that while there are some bags that need to stay packed, there are more that should NOT stay packed.

Over the summer, I’ve shared photos or videos on my social media platforms that “That It’s a five bag day or even a six bag day.” I think 6 was the most, thank goodness!

And let me explain: There are many days in my life that require more than one bag. The number of bags on those days were a measure of the complexity of my calendar! As in, one post shared: “Today is a 5 Bag Day – I have a client in the morning, then a presentation in the afternoon, and then I go straight to a school board meeting or a choir rehearsal!”

  • Which means, as I leave my house that morning, I had 5 or 6 bags:
    • The first is my everyday bag (mine’s a backpack);
    • Next, I have my go-bag that I take with me every work day with extra chargers, a change of clothes since occasionally organizing is dirty work, a car snack, a rain coat etc.. That bag is always packed, and is sitting near the back door right now.
    • I also had my cooler lunch bag, since I pack my lunch to save time and money, and to eat healthy.
    • That day I needed a bag with my clothes to change into, from organizing clothes into snazzier presentation clothes;
    • And then the bag with my laptop and content of my presentation, and in this case, also, my bag for board work too.
    • Whew! That’s a lot of stuff! (At one of those summer presentations, a participant suggested I just need to carry one really big bag to hold everything I needed for that day. But he realized as soon as he suggested just one bag that the one bag would have to be huge and very heavy to make that work!)

I recently ran into a friend who mentioned that she loved the Many Bag Day posts because we all feel like that some days, with our variety of roles and responsibilities that we hold. And when this friend mentioned that she loves this idea and it really resonated with her, I said, “I need to do a part two that reminds us all that we also have to unpack the bags at the end of the day!”

And that’s where we’re headed today. The unpacking. Which is literal unpacking, but also a analogy for completion.

Let me explain: I started out talking about how a few bags need to stay packed, but that most don’t. And I mean, seriously, at the end of the day, most bags need unpacked. Now, ok, maybe it’s the next morning. So I’ll give you 24 hours. I guess I don’t really want to, but I get it. But for the most part, all of those bags, once I’m completed with doing all those things, they all come home and the stuff comes back out of the bag.

Because “In the bag” is not where that stuff lives. It should live AWAY. “In a bag” is not away. And we need to put our things away.

  • We need to put our things away because it is likely we have to pack another bag the next day or the day after, with other things in it for that day’s responsibilities.
  • This is assuming a finite amount of things. A finite amount of bags, a finite amount of clothes for presentations. There should be limits.
  • And I also put those things together in different combinations from day to day because as it should be. That makes sense. But the point is, yes, it could be a six bag day, but then I’m going to come home and I’m going to unpack the lunch bag, because day old lunch remains in a cooler bag are disgusting.
  • Or, I’m going to unpack the clothes I wear for work or for my presentation. Those need to go in the hamper, get washed and put back into rotation. A client mentioned their child’s soccer bag – and ALL of that stuff needs washed regularly!
  • My board of education work comes out of the bag because I need to take care of tasks, and I also need to put the binder away after I pulled out the tasks that I need to complete.
  • A truly successful day for me, means that at the end of the day, I’ve completed all my things that I wanted to complete while serving others.

And part of that process, and the signal that everyone is done, is that all of those bags have come back in the house, been emptied completely, and are away, as are their contents.

So, full bags, partial bags, bags when we don’t know what’s in them? What does this have to do with procrastination? Here’s is where I want to shift to thinking about the analogy of the bags.

Let’s think about what I’ve said for the last few minutes in terms of activation and completion.

  • I started my day. I planned to go places and do things.
  • I packed stuff to go with me to do the things, so that I have the tools and accessories to do the things.
  • I successfully did the things. Yeah!
  • I came home, and now I am finishing the things.
  • Wow. Yes. Finishing.

Because finishing is a tough one for some of us. We’re not always so good at that.

Sometimes we procrastinate on starting, and other times we procrastinate on finishing.

So, good for us, we start the work, awesome.

Also yeah us, we did the work. We persevered and completed the work awesome.

But now we need to finish. And for me, as the example, finishing means unpacking the bag, putting all the stuff away.

Completed work is great, but the job is not done till it’s all away. When we shift our thinking to encompass the steps around completion, we set ourselves up to succeed next time.

I made jam a couple of weeks ago and that was great. I learned how to make jam! I am proud of the new skills I acquired. And it’s Delicious! But the work wasn’t totally done until the pot was actually washed and away, right? Jam made AND All the Stuff AWAY was really the finish line.

Completion. The work is done. But completion means work is done and tools are put away. Sometimes we procrastinate on the done part. As in, “Great, I did the work. But now here it all sits.” We can revel when the work is complete. But if , in my case, there are still packed bags by my back door, I’m not actually done.

I have clients who get 85%, or 90 or 90% done on a project. And then they drop the ball on the last 5%. And that is where mental and physical clutter comes in, and negative self talk.

For me, that last 5% is the WooHoo! moment. Don’t deprive yourself of the woohoo moment! The woohoo moment of “I did it!”. The woohoo moment is where it’s at!

Back to the bag idea. Let’s walk through the last 5%:

  • I can take a moment, with my bags around me in my office.
  • I can say – “Yes, I did it!” I served my client well this morning!
  • I ate a healthy lunch, took care of me and put a few snacks in there too.
  • I presented today, knocked that out of the park. Yay me. I love getting to meet people!
  • I safely drove everywhere I needed to go today. Thank you, Lord.
  • I ran a good board meeting and got my board work done.
  • AND NOW, actually and also metaphorically, I’m going to unpack it all and put it all away.

My suggestion this week, after you ponder the actual bags and also the other areas of your life where the bag idea applies, is to craft a habit around leaving time at the end of your day to completely finish the work and unpack the bags. Or file the papers, or put away the large pot you used while canning jam.

I wrote this content first as my podcast content, so I wrote it the last week of September. And I know this is going to be a many bag week! The day this podcast airs and that the newsletter is sent will be just a few days after my oldest son gets married. I know it will have been a wonderful experience. And I also know that soon after all the events are enjoyed, I will take some time and unpack all the bags, real and metaphorical. And I will appreciate and revel in the wonderful completion. And then maybe take a nap.

Is It Really Procrastination? Or Are We Unknowing or Unable?

Perhaps you have noticed, or perhaps you haven’t: I don’t talk much about procrastination.

I think it’s time.

And that is funny, yes? That I’ve waited this long to talk about procrastination?

Yep, there’s that word. I don’t talk about it. Similar to my feelings that I shared in my article and podcast about Overwhelm, I feel the word Procrastination is overused and misunderstood.

Procrastination IS. That it exists is undeniable.  It is a feeling, a strategy, an occurrence. It’s a lot of things. It can be all of those things and more.

But I don’t talk about it because it’s also too easy. It is too easy to just wave off an occurrence of not getting something done and say, “Yes, I procrastinated.” It’s too easy, and it’s not helpful.

And that’s the bigger problem.  When it is used in conversation, the word Procrastination is not specific enough to actually help us figure out what the solution should be. We tend to only look at the symptom instead of digging deeper. 

Imagine: I have a stuffy nose. I can blow my nose, and that solves the current problem. But I get stuffy again.  Or blowing my nose DOESN’T solve the problem, and I’m still stuffy. Stuffy is a symptom, not the cause.  The cause may be allergies, a cold, the flu or something else.

Similarly, if we don’t look at WHY we’re procrastinating, or get specific around what exactly the problem is, we’re unlikely to make anything more than temporary progress. We need to get specific about procrastination, both the word and the event!

So, let’s get specific!

The definition of procrastination is “the action of delaying or postponing something:”, or to “willfully choose to NOT do something for absolutely no good reason”, or “to put off intentionally and habitually the doing of something that should be done”. Now, in truth, there are many people – all the time! – who willfully choose to not do something purely for the sake of not doing it.

So I’m not saying that it doesn’t exist, but I am saying that very often when we say, “Ugh, I need to stop procrastinating on this thing”, what we’re really saying is, I know that I need to do it and it’s important, but there’s still something stopping me from doing it. And so what could that be? Again, back to that overwhelm definition or that strategy when we were taking apart that word.

But today, we’re going to look at two reasons why we delay action that are mislabeled as procrastination. Sometimes we delay for no good reason, but sometimes we delay because we lack the know-how or the resources to get something done.

And this is going at be at least a 2 part series!

Let me share a few theories on why we procrastinate, or more specifically, why we call something procrastination, and it actually isn’t procrastination.

In my podcast and my writings, I have talked about essential structures in Coaching. They are Support, Self-knowledge, Action and Education.  And essential structures are the scaffolding. They’re the essential structures that are required for us to actually do things that need done. They are the things, the people, the habits, the knowledge that help us live what we consider successful lives. We have scaffolding, we have strategies that we can use to help us to live more successful lives.

And sometimes we don’t have those things that we need to take action on a task or a project. So we’re procrastinating on it because, for example, we lack the know-how to do something.

For example: I knew I wanted to formalize my business. But It took me months if not a year or two to determine if I needed my company structure to be a C Corp, an S Corp, or an LLC. I felt like I was procrastinating which is not comfortable for me! But in truth, I was thinking about it. I was researching my options, reading things online, working through worksheets. I did all the things, but I still lacked the knowledge to make the right decision. And even if I decided one way or the other, I lacked the legal expertise to actually set it up.

So it’s not that I wasn’t doing anything. I was taking steps, but they weren’t the right steps, because, honestly, that’s not my wheelhouse. Those are not my strengths. And thank goodness I figured that out.

I do not need to learn how to do it,  which is what I was unsuccessfully trying to do.

What I needed to do was find an expert and let them help me. So I called my attorney, Eileen, and said, “Hey, I’m trying to figure this out. You know me, you know my business. I want know formalize my business and register with the state, protect my name and my family’s assets, separating my company business from personal business.

She replied that I needed an LLC and that she could set that up for me. And every year, her office sends in my paperwork to the state to keep it current. It costs a certain amount, and I sign off on it every year, and then it was done. So that is an example of when what looks like procrastination was me not seeing the path forward until I called in an expert. Sometimes we lack the know how, and that’s okay.

Most importantly, being aware of what the real problem is can help us seek the right solution.

Another reaction of NOT DOING that we could call Procrastination may actually be a lack of resources.  Let’s define what a resource is. In this example, a resource is a commodity that we already possess. A resource is our own brain, our education, our experiences. It can be time, it can be money, it can be energy. When I talk about resources and productivity, those three – time, money and energy, are the three I talk about the most.

For example: For a very long time, I wanted to start a podcast. I was very excited at the prospect. I had it all thought out. I had reached out to and spoken with the expert in my community who had a successful podcast.  This expert became my producer Chris because he also hosts and produces podcasts for other people.

My brand community had asked me for a podcast. 

I am a pro at professional speaking and singing, so I’m comfortable behind a microphone.

Many people struggle with consistent content for a podcast, but I was already in the habit of producing content every week for my community, so that wasn’t a stretch.

I had a plan.  I had the know how. I had the supportive people around me, to help me with it, too.

But what I was worried about were resources. Finding the time to add another task, another responsibility to my already full to-do list. 

This was not news. I knew I wanted to start a podcast for years, but I did not have the time to add the podcast in while in the midst of everything else, working full time, managing a household, being present for my family, doing all the things that I needed to do.

Last Fall, my youngest left for college.  And if I haven’t mentioned lately, I adore my kids, my people.  They are the coolest humans on the planet. I do not begrudge one moment I have spent with them.

But I didn’t procrastinate on starting the podcast as much as I chose to not make it happen for a time.  As my responsibilities shifted, I launched my podcast in November of last year. 

Sure, I talked about it for a long time without acting.  At times, when I was frustrated with myself, I would accuse myself of procrastination. But honestly, I knew the opportunity was coming soon and I was waiting for the resource of time became available, and that is the answer. I wasn’t procrastinating as much as I was recognizing how I and the people around me needed to spend my resources.

And what is the awareness here?

Don’t use the term procrastination without digging deeper! Are you procrastinating around something because you don’t know HOW to do it?  Or you lack the resources to make it happen? Well then let’s call the problem what it really is – a lack of know how or resources, and then actively do something to remedy the problem!

Find Focus and Fight Distraction!

Recently, I recorded a live video on my back deck. I wanted to talk about Focus. I was feeling out of focus, just blurry. And I was taking steps to get back on track and thought that would be helpful to my community to talk through.

What is really funny to me is that the video did not go well!

The day before, a friend had mentioned that she had “seen my car videos on Instagram”. I do not want that to Be The Thing! “Colleen recording from her Car”! So, I wanted to shake things up a little. I couldn’t record from my front stairs, as I have also done, because we were watering the grass that morning. So, back deck was plan C. I scrapped the first recording. On my second try, as soon as I started recording, my neighbor came out of his house (I live in the Chicago area and my back door is very close to my neighbor’s back door). So I adjusted. And then his dog – and I like my neighbors and the dog – started barking. And then there was a train a mile away that decided to blow its horn. A Lot.

You get the idea.

And this was a recording about focus. Life is just funny.

Sometimes I feel out of focus. I think we all do.

I could spend time dissecting WHY I lost focus. And that is important long term, I suppose. Personally, I am clear on WHY I was feeling unfocused last week. But for today’s purpose, I want to talk about how to find focus again, sharing basic tools to Find Focus and Fight Distraction.

First, we have to start with recognizing the lack of focus. Then, we can think about what to do about it!

When I teach productivity and time management, I mention that one of the most empowering things to know is that we ourselves can change and improve our situation for better productivity and satisfaction. Knowing there are adjustments that I can make helps me to feel better immediately!

So the topic of Focus, and what adjustments we can make when focus is lacking. Because I know for me, I can’t always force focus. And sometimes I try. Early in lockdown, it came to light that I talk to myself while I work from home. Often, to loudly tell myself to FOCUS! And yelling at me, forcing focus… doesn’t work.

Let’s look at what DOES work!

  • The first step, as it always is in coaching, is Awareness. In this case, awareness that you’re out of focus.
  • I have several check-in points in my days:
    • I can use times of transition – like leaving the house, or coming home, or leaving a client’s house or arriving at my next appointment; or
    • There are natural times, too, like getting up, getting out of the shower, transitioning from work day to family time, etc., and these are all great opportunities to check in on myself and my focus.
  • Many times a day, I do a Body Scan
    • If I am feeling unfocused, I can ask some easy questions and check in with me.
    • First question is, What needs need to be met?
      • Maybe I am STARVING! Yep, that can steal focus and cause distraction.
        • Blood sugar can dip, our brains (and bodies) need food and energy to function.
      • Maybe I am Thirsty.
      • I can check in on that body scan – is there anywhere that I am holding tension? Do I have pain or discomfort anywhere?
      • Am I too hot or too cold? I have to say, in summer, I often find myself unfocused because my office is REALLY HOT in the late afternoon and that makes me drowsy. So, I can pull the blinds, turn on a fan, move to a different area of the house, etc! If I’m aware!
      • Maybe it’s time to get up, stretch, take a nature break, etc!
  • Awareness, too – Here is something we don’t often realize that affects us: Our senses.
    • Working in a too dark or too light room can be distracting, even if we don’t realize it. So, check in!
    • Noises – more or less – yes, these matter, too!  Often, we have auditory distractions that are not consciously registering.  So, intentionally scan our selves and our surroundings can help us adjust our environment
  • Other tools we can use:
    • Breathwork:
      • Also in my time management classes, I teach basic breathwork.
      • I teach my participants square breathing – Inhale for 4 counts, hold for 4 counts, exhale for 4 counts and hold 4 counts. That’s IT! This can be a 30-60-90 second exercise – I usually call it a mini-vacation – where we concentrate just on our breath.
      • The re-focusing of our thoughts with the added bonus of an more oxygenated brain almost always helps me to refocus.
    • The Pomodoro Method for productivity,
      • The cycle of 25 minutes of work and 5 minutes of rest that we practice in my Finish Line Friday sessions is a tool I use ALL DAY EVERY DAY to get things done.
      • 25 minutes of work 5 minutes of break, and the reminders to re-focus, just in case I have gotten off track.
      • If we’re going to talk about rest, that leads me to the reminder of my recent podcast on rest and recovery. Check that out if you would like to know more.
    • Body Doubling:
      • If you find you’re feeling distracted, and lacking focus, by all means try some of these other tools as well, but also consider phoning or checking in w a friend via text, then open a zoom room or join a group!
      • You can change your location, too, to work near someone around you who IS focused. Since it’s back-to-school time, I think of a library.
      • In college, I would set up in the library and the entire space was dedicated to focus! Quiet, separate from personal distractions, just the work I needed to do in front of me, and other people around me who were seeking the same focused work! So consider what that looks like for you!
  • What does finding your focus look like to you? Consider these tools next time you feel the focus un-focusing!

How To Help Future You!

Last week in a video on Social Media, I asked the question “What would help you the most to be done with, to get completed this week?”

As in, asking myself: “If I could get this one thing… (fill in blank here…) done:

  • a lot of other things would fall into place;
  • I wouldn’t have to spend anymore mental energy on it;
  • I could move on to other tasks or projects; or
  • I could just stop thinking about it!”

For me, the answer last week was: moving clients to the scheduled column; and taking care of some errands that were once-and-dones (and not recurring errands).

Also, last week, I attended my monthly Leadership / Non-profit Mastermind meeting where we discussed how the summer schedule is often different than the rest of the year, and how that different schedule can provide different opportunities. And, how to take advantage of those different opportunities.

So, my question to you and to me this week, is to zoom out a little and ask:

  • “What would help you the most to be done with, to get completed this summer? What can you do now, in this more relaxed and expansive time, to set yourself up to succeed this Fall?

Summer is indeed different for me, schedule- and responsibility-wise. Professionally, not too much changes with my client load and presentations. But my other responsibilities are different. For example, I attend MANY fewer meetings in the summer.

Did you know? I am a school board member for my local school district. And summer has more committee work and planning since students are not in the buildings. The day-to-day work is much different. The work for me is more self-directed and the deadlines are farther in the future.

Of course, self directed learning is is sometimes dangerous territory – it’s easy to get distracted when working isn’t URGENT! But I digress.

The point is, for Board work, if I ask myself this question:

What would help the most to be done with, to get completed this summer? What to do now, in this more relaxed and expansive time, to set up to succeed this Fall?

The answer is, In the summer to do myself a favor this Fall, I can close out some small projects and clean up some documents that never seem to get completed during the year.

In addition to board work, I run a choir for my Parish. Post-pandemic, I am very happy to say that we returned to a more consistent schedule after Easter this past Spring. We still take summers off, but I know we will sing Masses this Fall. And for me, the most time consuming and stressful part of running a choir is NOT managing a dozen people or singing in front of hundreds, it is setting up our song lists every week and month.

So, to ask the question again, “What would help you the most to be done with, to get completed this summer? What can you do now, in this more relaxed and expansive time, to set yourself up to succeed this Fall?

Here is the thing – If you don’t know this, I am Catholic and the readings and therefore the song selection works on a rotating year schedule, and are determined years in advance. Which means I can use summer time to set the line-ups now for September 2023 to May 2024 and save myself a while lot of struggle during the busier time of year.

So this is how this tool, this question, can work!

Let’s break it down a little more!

  • First, we need to look at our Focus Areas (if you need to review, you can go back and check out episode #5, or check out this article).
  • Once we know what is important to us, we can look at what projects we can complete or perhaps start in this summer schedule. My board work and my choir work are both part of my Focus Area of Service, and since I know they are important to me, I can look a little closer at what to do this summer to help me all year round.
  • Once we’ve identified the project, we need to BREAK IT DOWN INTO LITTLE TINY PIECES. A highly effective strategy to fight overwhelm and to make progress on any task is to recognize that all large projects are a series of small projects.
  • And then take action, and stay on track! And, how to stay on track?
    • Remind yourself that completing this project will help future you!
    • It’s important to make room for those important but non-urgent (see my Eisenhower Box blog article, or re-listen to podcast episode #4!) tasks to still make they happen. Do not leave your scheduling up to chance! Dedicate white space – actually schedule time to complete those project pieces!
    • Perhaps you can schedule the project time in place of the typical scheduled time. For example, during the school year I have a monthly meeting on a Monday afternoons – I could absolutely use that found time this summer to work on my school board notes and projects.
    • Or
    • I can use a couple for hours on a Wednesday evening when we typically would be in rehearsal to work on my weekly mass line-ups for Fall, since I am often thinking musical thoughts that evening anyway!
    • Finally, create at least a little urgency, if you find that motivating. I know I do.
      • In talking to a friend and networking partner today, she said and I quote “Oh no rush on those items you promised, just take your time.” and I said “No! Never tell me to take my time, or I lose urgency!” So I will take care of our tasks ASAP and let her take her time in responding!

“What would help you the most to be done with, to get completed this week?” And this summer?

Once we have created multiple small projects instead of large ones, we can assign deadlines at regular intervals throughout the summer months to create some urgency and get things done! Do future you a favor, set your plan and then make some progress on those tasks that will help Future You the most!