Hope In Normalizing: “I Can Do This, Too”

This week, I want to introduce an idea called Normalizing, and why I think it is a useful and hopeful idea.

I was talking to a friend recently about a health challenge she is facing.

She was saying that we can believe we are all alone in what we are suffering with because we’ve never really talked about it with anyone.  However, when you start talking to people about your health issue, suddenly you find out that the problem is common, that many people have the same problem, or at least know somebody with the problem.

Ummm… let’s say gallbladder issues.  (And no, I do not have gallbladder issues, and neither does she, I’m just using this as an example).

Imagine: I’m feeling fine, and then one day, I’m not feeling so fine.  I muddle through for a few weeks or even months, with flare-ups and the like, getting better between and then another flare up happens. I finally go to the doctor. They run their tests, give me a diagnosis, share some strategies with me and also schedule a surgery because the gallbladder has to be removed.

Now that I know more and need to make plans, I mention my health challenge at work (because I need time off), or I bring it up with friends or family or the lady at the grocery store because now that I have a diagnosis and a plan, I feel more comfortable talking about it…

And when I bring it up, I find out that EVERYONE has had this problem, or knows someone who has had this problem.

You know the stories you hear, “my husband / wife / parent / child / coworker / friend / sibling has or had this problem”. We all may want to feel special and unique, but probably not when it comes to our gallbladder!

Hearing the stories about how what we thought was one-of-a-kind really isn’t… that is not a bad thing. I actually consider it kind of a good thing.  It feels hopeful to me.

In coaching, we talk about normalizing. Per Dictionary.com, Normalizing may mean “to cause (something previously considered abnormal or unacceptable) to be treated as normal”. 

This can be negative like when we learn to tolerate something that might be negative so that it becomes our new normal.  But it can also be a positive thing, when we expand our understanding of what can be typical and normal, so we no longer feel shame or worry about an issue or circumstance.

As in, when you find out that this issue that you’re having that is probably really rocking your world if you are in the middle of it and things are sore or are uncomfortable is actually 100% survivable.  And do-able.

Like when you’ve got something medical going on and all you seem to do is go to doctor’s appointments and do follow-up and it feels like a full-time job. And it’s really impacting your life and you feel frustrated. You feel like you’re alone in this. Like no one is going to understand. 

And yet, they will.

We can’t necessarily see our way through this situation because we have never been in it before.  We don’t know how long it will take, or when we may start to feel better.  But… other people know.  Other people have faced it and have come out the other side.

So we normalize. We normalize because sometimes we need to hear that we are not alone in whatever it is we’re going through. Sometimes we need to feel like we’re not alone AND that someone else in a similar situation has figured it out.

They have figured it out. And therefore, so can I.

If somebody else has figured all this out, I can too. And there is hope. There is hope in that. I can, too.

Let’s switch it up, I will use Blackberry Jam as an analogy.

Last year I learned how to make and can jam. Like preserves, hot water bath, mason jars, shelf stable, etc.

I had promised a loved one that I would find someone to make jam for an event, and I did not find a jam maker so I became the jam maker.   Here’s the thing.  I knew that I could.  I had a working knowledge of what was involved. And we have YouTube and websites and books, plus there is Amazon.com for ordering the tools.  It’s all there.  It’s all learnable. It’s all there. I knew I could do it.

I like to think I am pretty smart, and I am definitely curious and open to learning.  And hey, people living hundreds of years ago with none of the resources I have now figured it out.  I can do this.  And I did. And it was good!

Now I know how to make jam and also preserve it.  I’m pretty sure I still have some in my cabinet from last Fall. I still have all the tools and the know-how, to do it again. We can call that normalized.

Sometimes, my coaching clients or myself or any one of us, really, can think that the situation that we find ourselves in at this moment is so singular that no one has ever figured out what to do about it. And therefore, we can’t even hope to make things better.

And that’s not true.  I’m here to tell you that’s not true because I guarantee you there have been similar situations where people have figured things out and have come through on the other side just fine.

I consider normalizing to be optimistic. I consider normalizing, when done right, to be hopeful. When we are in the midst of something that we don’t know how to figure out, it’s hopeful to know that someone else figured it out. You are most likely able, you’re going to be able to figure it out as well.  And next time, you can be the resource for somebody.

We have more resources right now than we ever had ever in history to figure things out, ever. You have more resources now than anyone has ever had before. Whoa.

But it’s true. We have more knowledge now than anyone has ever had before. How hopeful and optimistic is that?! It’s awesome. And, if you want to figure things out for yourself, I am here to help. 

Independence Day: From What? For What?

This week, in this country, we celebrate Independence Day.

I want to respect why we celebrate Independence Day, and also ask the question about the word independence – for ourselves, independence from what?  What do we choose independence from, and what do we choose it for?

Whenever I hear the phrase, “The Fourth of July”, my brain goes to a silly joke. A traveler from the US goes to another country for vacation in the summer.  He asks his hosts why they don’t have The Fourth of July in their country.  The hosts assure him “of course we have The Fourth of July, right after the third and before the 5th.  The calendar would look odd without it.” Or something along those lines.

So, I’ll stick with calling it Independence Day.  But that also sends my brain down a little trail around the word “independence.”  And that’s what I want to talk about today. Independence, as in being free of something.  And free to do something else.

Is there something that you are currently dependent on, or a situation that you are currently in that you seek to be independent from? Let’s consider, is there a situation or relationship that isn’t currently working? And what would we choose instead?

Could you benefit from independence from a habit that is not supporting you? And what would we choose?

And let’s turn it into more positive language – perhaps it’s not independence from something.  But, instead something that you’d like to see improved, enhanced.   As in, if I made these positive changes, I could be independent to do x, y or z.

Whatever that looks like for you. Independence Day.

As I consider Independence, I’m reminded that sometimes we don’t even realize what we are dependent on.  It is more likely that we haven’t identified the habits or things that we need independence from, and less likely that there just aren’t any.

Perhaps it’s a mindset, a way of thinking, that isn’t serving us.

How to?

  • We start with knowing what it looks like when we’re being our best selves.
  • We Identify what is keeping us from being our best selves.
  • We break down those things, habits, ways of being that are in the way and we take action to change them. 
  • And, starting the process all over again. And that’s ok.

We can always be learning and improving.

What is it that you would need to become independent from?  And what are we using our independence for?

As both an organizational coach and a certified professional organizer, let’s use Independence from Our Stuff as an example.

Perhaps you have unhealthy habits around your stuff, and you could benefit from independence from those habits and your stuff!  I subscribe to emails from a woman named Dana White with the Website, YouTube channel etc., “A Slob Comes Clean”.  In her content she talks about her “deslobification” journey and I really respect her insight and perspective of how a disorganized person got organized.  It’s great, if you want to check her out. 

Recently, she was talking about shopping, and how her negative habits around shopping were contributing to her mounting clutter.  She mentioned that she used to go to garage sales and fill up the car all the time with more stuff because she was waiting for stuff to be the answer to her life questions.

She was creating bigger problems for herself by continuing with unhealthy habits.

To break free from the stuff, she also needed to be less dependent on the habits around acquiring more stuff.  If this was you or me in this example, we can see that we need to break free of bad habits to become independent of our clutter.

What if you need to assert your independence from negative thoughts or thinking that isn’t helping you.

Working with a coaching client the other day, we were discussing how her thoughts often get stuck in a rut, just circling or spinning, without a way to move on from that spinning (and leaving her overwhelmed, stressed out, distracted, etc.).

Can you relate?  I can relate.

This client was seeking independence from these swirling negative thoughts because she knew there was more happiness, peace and calm to be found on the other side. 

She is sometimes unhappy, overwhelmed, distracted, etc.  She is SUPER smart, accomplished professionally, has a satisfying personal life… and she still needs independence from her current thinking habits.

Again, can you relate?  I can relate.

As we worked it through. She expressed what is going on in her head. She recognized where she wants to go and how she wants to be, and she recognized she isn’t there yet. She also identified what was holding her back from happiness and peace. And getting a handle on her swirling thoughts would give her the freedom to think how she wants to think.

Anecdotally, we discovered together that writing down the thoughts that were swirling in her head would give her a chance to inspect and organize them and also make a record her learning.  So she wouldn’t have to keep thinking the same thoughts over and over again, and she could think about something else instead.  Sounds like independence to me.

I will say that for me, I have, over time, broken free of or become more independent of my perfectionist tendencies.  That way of being didn’t serve me well. I struggled with perfectionism and therefore procrastination when my kids were really little.  Time management was harder when they were little and  my responsibilities and my time were not my own. But I could change my tendencies and that is what I managed to do.

I am no longer a perfectionist because who has the time?

Was that quick? No.

Was it easy? Probably not, but I don’t remember.

Is it possible? Yes, it absolutely is. And now I can live differently. And better.

But that’s the question I’m asking you today as we celebrate Independence Day, what is it that you would like to become independent from?

What habits are no longer serving you?

What is it time for you to separate yourself from?  Thing. Habit, thought, whatever.

I look forward to hearing what that could be for you. I hope that you are, uh, motivated to think of things like that. I am thinking big thoughts this summer, but that was one that I wanted to share with.

Happy Independence Day, how ever you would like to embrace it!

Success Requires Practice. A Lot Of Practice.

I can’t believe I am saying this, but I recently published my 500th blog article.

That is noteworthy, at least to me. I could never have predicted, all those years ago, when I started publishing blog articles that I would have stuck with it for this long. Or I couldn’t have predicted way back when on which day, far away in the future, that I would publish my 100th, or 300th or 500th article. And, by the way, that day was April 15th, 2024.

My first blog post was on May 19, 2010.

I vacillate most days between either wanting to take down old posts that have become outdated due to technology advances or life changes for me, or wanting to leave every post up forever because they’ve become a journal or diary of sorts. I will most likely leave them be.

2010 seems a long time ago. My sons, now 19, 24 and 26, were 5.5, 10 and 12. Personally, my organizing questions then were much different than my organizing questions now. And my business has certainly grown and changed in those 14 years. Next month I will celebrate my 21st year in business. Wow.

I started my company as a mother of two small boys who wanted more flexibility in her schedule than an office job downtown could provide. Soon after, I had our third son. My company survived the economic downturn in 2008 and a global pandemic in 2020. I was doing my end of the month bookkeeping the other day, and my monthly numbers are back up to pre-pandemic levels and beyond. That is very exciting. And more importantly, I am serving and reaching more people than ever, and those numbers are truly more important that the monetary numbers any day.

But today I want to talk about the How. As in, how does one publish 500 articles in 14 years? Which averages out to 36- ish articles a year.

But to the How? With consistency and practice.

And that is where I want to go today.

You may not know this about me, or maybe you do – In addition to being a certified professional organizer, I am also a board member for my local Board of Education. And this week, I get to address our middle school National Junior Honor Society at their formal induction ceremony. When this podcast episode drops, they will have already heard this speech. They deserve to hear it first.
It’s for them.

But as I pondered today what I wanted to say to the students this week, and that in my podcast and newsletter, I wanted to share that I have hit the 500th article milestone, the two topics came together.

So, here’s my advice to our National Junior Honor Society members, and the rest of us, too, about consistency and practice.

Good evening, students, parents and special guests, staff and administrators.

Students, I am pleased to have the opportunity to speak to you this evening. Thank you, Mrs. Gibbons.

We have to practice what we hope to be.  Let’s start there.

Greatness, or success or healthy habits or athletic prowess or anything we want to achieve is not going to just happen. Sorry. But it will not just happen by accident. These accomplishments will not happen by chance, and they certainly won’t happen overnight or in an instant. Consistency and practice are key.

Now, please understand me, I love happy accidents. I love serendipitous events. Where what went into that event yielded amazing and unexpectedly awesome results! But we can’t count on those to happen. That’s what makes them accidents. So we need to work, for ourselves, on what we want to achieve. And not leave it up to chance.

Some of you may have natural talents like music or athletics or creative writing or being a great friend. Those are amazing, of course! And, we can still always improve.

You may not know this, but I sing professionally. I have been singing and playing the flute since I was in elementary school, just like some of you. And now, I get paid to do it, how cool is that? I was rehearsing over the weekend for a gig, and I was reminded that we have to practice for what we want to achieve. I needed to learn new songs and I had to practice to keep my breathing strong and to not stumble over awkward words. I put in the work so I can consistently achieve my desired results.

I also direct a choir at my church, and when we’re rehearsing together and someone makes a mistake – including me – we all brush it off and learn from it and then we move on. That’s why we rehearse, to make our mistakes and learn from them and get better, so when we perform for real, we are ready. I say that often to my choir, “That’s Why We Rehearse!”

And the more we practice, the better we’re going to get.

My challenge to you today is to make your days a practice of being good students or athletes, of being a good friend, a good human being, of being good leaders. Consistently practice being a good You.

As NJHS members, you have the opportunity to be leaders in your school community, in our Evergreen Park community and in our global community. I do, too. We have the opportunity to make our communities better, and the lives of the people in our communities better.

How amazing is that?! And we get to do that every day. That’s what leadership means, that we have the opportunity to make things better and that we should use that opportunity to do so.

National Junior Honor Society is a group of leaders. You have proven through academic achievement and service that you have the commitment, desire and consistency required to continue to be better and to help our community to be better.  

Better looks different for different people, and that’s okay. I’m not suggesting that we have be perfect. Ever. That’s ridiculous. Some days are rough, and we learn from those, too, and come back stronger from the learning. But we can always be better. Better than yesterday, but not as great as we will be tomorrow. We can always strive for better. Not perfect, not even great or good some days, but always better.

And so we have to practice consistently to make that happen.

Consistent practice towards a goal teaches us how to learn. I say to my choir that I love the professional challenge that comes with having to learn a new song.  We learn how to learn.  

Learning will never stop. It shouldn’t ever stop. 

When we stop learning, we stop growing.

We can practice learning.  We can practice being curious. We can practice being open.  We can practice appreciating others. 

Because here’s a secret. Even though we’re the leaders, we never stop learning from others. Ever. 

More over, we should seek to learn from others. 

We shouldn’t just let it happen. That’s one of those practice items, right? That’s why we rehearse. 

We should actively seek to learn from others. Actively learn. Actively practice what it is we want to achieve. Actively try to be better every day. Because we can consistently practice at being a good You and Me.

I congratulate you this evening.

I appreciate you. 

I seek to learn from you. 

I can’t wait to see what the next academic year brings and beyond. 

And I’m here with you. I can’t wait to be here with you on this journey. I’m willing to help however I can.

Thank you for your time, and congratulations.

Thanks for sticking with me to the end. I love having the opportunity to speak to our students, they are an amazing group of people. I take my responsibilities to my school district and students very seriously, and my commitment to you, my community, seriously as well. And my wish for all of us is to keep improving every day, in big and small ways, with consistent practice towards Better.

How To Not Get Distracted

A participant at a recent presentation asked me how to stay focused on her organizing projects.

She was talking about it in this context: if you’re already working on a project, how to make sure you actually stay in the space where you are working, and not get distracted and leave the space.

Or, if you do get distracted, how to make sure you come back.

I mention in my presentations that we don’t want to be butterflies when we organize. Flitting from room to room and project to project without purpose or focus. We end up in a different room, nothing has been accomplished and we’re not sure where the last few hours went!

This is a great question, and I hear this question a lot. And I know it resonated with other people attending the same presentation.

Yes, There are many strategies we can use to stay focused on our organizing projects and anchored to the space and the work. Some of these strategies can include:

  • Start the project with all of your tools and supplies with you. We can easily get distracted if we keep having to run to different parts of the house for garbage bags, a pen, tape, boxes, etc. Gather your tools and supplies first.
  • Bring in a friend and have them work with you. Perhaps you can swap organizing sessions – your closet this weekend and their closet next weekend!
    • This particular participant had attended the presentation with her sister, so I used the two of them as an example.
    • And a reminder, this is called body doubling, having a person working near you to set that example and help you stay focused.
      • That’s one of the benefits of working with an organizer, that body doubling component.
      • You can also take advantage of body doubling virtually, if you and a friend want to facetime each other while working on projects to chat and process your decision making, tell stories about items, etc.
  • Make the space enjoyable to be in. Turn on music, add a fan or a space heater, turn on the lights and open up the windows. Bring in a favorite beverage, non alcoholic, of course. Let’s do what we can to make this a more pleasant experience.
  • Make yourself some promises! Make sure you have some kind of reward planned for the end of your work session, the end of the project, etc.
  • One of my favorite strategies is to Set timers:
    • One thing that I do with my clients and myself is set a timer and tackle a project in really small bursts.
    • So I may set a timer for 20 minutes and see how much I can get done in that time until the timer goes off.
    • Sometimes I’m feeling so motivated after those first 20 minutes that I will set it for another 20 minutes and stick with it, or I will turn off the timer altogether and just say, oh, I’m doing great here. I can’t wait till I’m finished, so I’m just going to keep plugging along.

I want want to dig a little deeper today on this focus and attention question from both an organizing and also an organizational coaching perspective. Because if we often get distracted, we also have to unlearn that habit. And we need to re-learn healthier and more productive habits.

Breaking distraction habits and learning more productive ones instead is absolutely possible, but not without a plan and some strategies!

I’ll use my current situation as an example.

I started writing this content on a Sunday afternoon while I was also planning to do some batch cooking for the week. I prepped and chopped and assembled. I now have chili on the stove, simmering. I have 2 meatloaves in the crockpot. In addition, I have a rotisserie chicken from Costco that will be turned into dinner a little later. And between those three things, I will have meals for many days this week.

I like to batch-cook, and I especially love the results of cooking multiple meals at a time because it makes my life easier during the week. HOWEVER, there are days when I am cooking and I’ve been in the kitchen for a while, and all I want to do is be anywhere but in the kitchen.

I feel that very strongly sometimes. Like when it has been a lot of work, on top of a busy day. And all I want to do is be anywhere else. I want to go read a book. I want to go do something other than cook. I want to be anywhere else. But I also stop the impulse on that one because I know that sticking with the kitchen project for just a few more minutes – finishing the clean-up, putting the last few dishes in the dishwasher and wiping down the counters – is the better course of action. And then I can take a longer break, right?

Instead of responding to that misguided impulse to be anywhere else and leaving the work undone, I recognize the impulse, and I remind myself that if I stay just a few more minutes, I will be completely done instead of almost done, and I can enjoy my well earned rest a little more.

Let’s break that down.

  • Recognize the impulse, the distraction, the desire to go and do something else.
  • And stop for a minute and think it through.
    • Do I really need to be somewhere else right now, or am I just bored with this? Or, I’m tired, there are other things I also need to do, etc.

Let’s face it, there could be lots of reasons why I don’t want to be doing that project anymore, and it would be tempting to leave.

But – again – if I realize the distraction, and remind myself to stick with it just a few more minutes, I can be completely done instead of just almost done, and then I can enjoy that rest a little more, or I can go and do something else with a clear conscience.

We recognize and then examine the impulse and decide if it’s just an impulse or if it’s actually a good idea. And usually, we’re better of just sticking with the task a few more minutes, and we’ll get the job done.

I think I say this every week lately, but we start with Awareness, awareness, awareness!

Another more specific way to fight distraction and stay focused on a project is to zoom in on your task. As in, narrow your focus on the project in front of you.

I’ve been working with a new client for a few months now. Recently we were going through papers from 2015. This happens a lot, no judgement. She moved offices at work and at home and there were a number of things that were bundled up, and because there wasn’t anything truly pressing or important in there, they just kind of got shuffled aside. We came across a to-do list from years ago. She read it and then laughed and shared it with me, her organizer. And it says at the top, “declutter”.

A great idea and to-do and intention, but it’s just word on a piece of paper at that point.

My suggestion would be to get more specific on what “declutter” entails, or what “get organized” looks like. If we don’t get more specific, those things are never going to actually happen.

One way to stay to on task or focused on a project is to make your action ridiculously specific. So instead of just saying get organized or declutter, let’s try this: I want to complete some organizing projects for spring. In the first hour that I have today, I will will review my closet and dresser and my clothes. When I’m done with that, I want to re-pack the items in the furnace room that we’ve set aside for my college student to move into an apartment in the Fall. And after that, I want to review the bottom drawer of my office file cabinet and shred items from more than 4 years ago, now that our taxes are filed.

Right? So all of those items would be on the list and on the task list, but it would be far more specific than get organized or declutter.

And when we can look at big projects in terms of being a series of small projects, it makes it easier for us to stay focused on those projects so we can see results.

For example, let’s say – I’m going to organize the basement this weekend. But what if your basement is huge and a hot mess? You could say instead, “I’m going to organize the shelves in the laundry room, and then I’ll review all the old paint on the floor by the door, and then I will review the towels and toiletries in the downstairs linen closet by the bathroom.”

If we don’t narrow our focus, it’s no wonder we can get distracted. Breaking down big tasks into smaller tasks help us to feel motivated, fight the impulse to get distracted, and helps us to see results. And positive results keep us coming back!

I get the “How TO Stay On Track” question from my coaching clients as well, and some of the strategies are the same!

My coaching client may say “I want to get organized”, and I will say – awesome! But let’s get specific. What does that look like? What results do you seek? What are actions you can take every day, and how can I support you in taking them?

ZOOOOMing in, narrowing in, focusing in to stay motivated:
Does getting organized mean getting more done in your day? Switching your work and bill paying over digital and online? Figuring out your family’s schedule for the summer? Planning a trip and figuring out what that looks like for you and your family? Getting a handle on your health and wellness? Organizing the physical space in your home, of course?

Yep, we can do that. We can do all of those things, but we can’t just start with a global “OK, I want to get organized”. The first thing that we would ask in a coaching session would be to bring that into what can we accomplish in today’s session? What can we accomplish, you know, in the next 30 minutes that will help you to activate those ideas on your own, you know, in the next week or two before we speak again.

ZOOOOMing in. We can do lots of things, but we have to bring it in and we have to get specific. Because that will help us to stay motivated and anchored to the work.

When we get specific and break things down into smaller bits, it means we actually start to feel some accomplishment as we complete those smaller bits. We can track progress, we can see improvements. We can remind ourselves of our progress if we get distracted or we get off track. Um, all of those things, uh, are, again, tools to help us to stay on track, and if we get distracted, to get back on track as well.

And we can break the distraction habit and use these strategies to get back on track. Because distractions will come! But we’re bigger and better than our distractions.

PACT: A Different Way To Set Goals

It’s a new quarter, a new season. Today, and any day, really, is a great day to check in with your progress towards your goals.

And I want to have a new and different conversation about goals today because I have a cool new concept to share!

I had to chuckle – on this morning’s accountability call, I mentioned to my partner that I was writing an article about PACT goals for today’s podcast. And… I admitted that I started it two weeks ago, and I didn’t get it done in time to record last week. Because I had a million other things to do last Monday (like, for REAL!).

Irony? That I didn’t meet a goal to write about goals because I couldn’t / didn’t dedicate the time to get it done? Yes, I think so.

As I set my goals for Q2 in April, I glanced at my goals for Q1 of 2024, and some were “once-and-done’s”. 

  • Complete the surgical procedure on my nose – done.  (Focus Area Health and Wellness)
  • Lent and Easter, liturgically with my parish and my choir – done! (Focus Area Service)
  • Attend a specific concert on March 29  – done (and it was awesome). (Focus Area Personal / Supporting Independent Art)

However, some of the goals require more of a process, and I have goals from Q1 that migrated to Q2:

  • Make progress towards coaching certification by recording coaching clients for an upcoming deadline.
  • Make progress on a major project I am working on for NAPO, the National Association of Productivity and Organizing Professionals.
  • Attend 12 live music / independent artist concerts in 2024 (one a month).

And I would guess, you have a similar blend of once-and-done goals and also progress goals. In past articles and podcase episodes, we have talked about SMART goals, and I LOVE a good SMART Goal!  A SMART goal is:

  • Specific,
  • Measurable,
  • Attainable,
  • Relevant and
  • Time Specific

For example, here’s a SMART goal:

“I will publish new blog articles and podcast content every week this quarter until I reach 500 posts by June 1, in celebration of my company’s 21st anniversary in June.” This is specific, measurable, attainable, relevant and has a time frame attached.

Now, how will I accomplish this goal? This is NOT a once-and-done goal or event since it will take consistent effort for the next 7 weeks to accomplish.

Last Spring, I wrote an article and recorded a podcast Episode about Metrics. 

Metrics are quantifiable items we can measure, to determine progress. Achieving our goal is amazing!  Success is grand, for sure. But it is also an event.  It is a snapshot moment – goal achieved!  Done!  But more often, the work continues.

To make the goals and the work happen, from day to day, we need to bring the waypoints closer in.  We need manageable portions to bite off on a daily or weekly basis in addition to that one big goal we will accomplish at the end of a predetermined amount of time.

Enter – PACT goals. PACT goals are the tool within a tool, the intentional and incremental goals within a big, lofty SMART goal. Per Julie Simpson on Hire.com, “What are PACT Goals? The Lesser-Known Technique to Set Smarter Goals”, PACT “is a goal-setting technique that focuses on output rather than the outcome”.

PACT stands for

  • Purpose,
  • Actions,
  • Continuous and
  • Trackable.

It seems then, that often, the journey is the point.

Sometimes we need to set PACT goals to give us the support to meet our SMART goals. And sometimes we need to use PACT goals to create better habits for forever.

Let’s break this down! Purpose. Actions. Continuous and Trackable. I like the idea of continuous movement towards our goals. Let’s use my Publication Goal above as an example.

The question of “Purpose” is important for setting goals. We want to know that we are achieving what we want to achieve. That just makes sense. We want to know our purpose and we want to be purposeful (think “intentional”). And once we figure out what we are awesome at and what we are meant to do in life, as in what we want to do intentionally with our time in small and large pieces, then that’s our purpose.

When we set purposeful goals, we want to know that what we’re seeking to achieve aligns with who we are, what we want in life, etc.. And publishing high quality and supportive content for my community definitely aligns with my professional goals.

At a class last week, I heard the nicest feedback! A participant said ” You bring such positive energy!”. Yep, that’s the plan! And when it comes to our goals, we want to be purposeful, we want to be intentional, and to know that the goal that we are setting fits into the context of who we are and what we want in life.

And since success towards my publishing goal is not something I can just knock out the day before my June 1 deadline, I need to be intentional on how I spend my time in the next 7 weeks. I need to PURPOSEFUL in my actions.

And, on to Action! Action, because we’re talking about goal setting here, right? We’re talking about making progress. We’re talking about moving forward. All of those words are active words.

Progress requires action almost all the time. What are the actions that we need to take to move us towards our PACT goals? Working towards the publication goal, my actions have included in the last week spending 30 minutes each day on the project:

  • Review my voice memos on my phone, rename them and send them as an attachment to my email.
  • Upload to the transcription service that I use and have all the unpublished memos transcribed.
  • Match up all the voice memos / transcriptions with my list of published articles and podcast topics, and delete any duplicates.
  • Add the unpublished topics to my editorial content calendar.

And now that I know what I want to write about and publish, I will carve out an hour on the calendar 3 – 4 days a week for writing / editing.

And, since PACT goals need to be trackable, every one of those steps I listed above is trackable with metrics. I went from 30 voice memos down to 10. I went from 45 transcriptions down to 11. I increased, after deleting many duplicate topics, from 20 to 35 topics on my editorial calendar. And now I can track “writing minutes” weekly as progress towards the goal. Action.

Next up, and forever – Continuous.

Purpose and Actions are easy to see, but I think what sets PACT goals apart are the Continuous and Trackable aspects.

Let’s talk about continuous and trackable. Using as an example, my goal of publication by June 1. I’ve set my intentions, I have determined my actions. Now I need to do them! What would continuous progress look like towards my goal look like? I can determine that, and then make the progress towards that goal. And beyond, of course, because I have a waypoint, a milestone in mind, but I certainly won’t stop writing after the June 1 deadline.

I need to take action every day or multiple times a week. Continuous might not mean every minute of every day, but it certainly will mean regular consistent, continuous progress towards the goal.

Perhaps a wellness goal is a good example, too – 30 minutes of cardio 5 times a week is purposeful, continuous and trackable action, and a habit that will help you for life. As I mentioned earlier, sometimes the journey is the point.

Finally, let’s talk “Trackable”.

How do we make progress happen? How do we measure progress and not just “I’m feeling better about the process” or “I am less stressed with writing”, or “I am having more fun”.

Progress” is sometimes difficult to quantify. But when we determine our purpose and actions, and the interval which makes them continuous, we can track progress. In my example, I can track articles published, words written, minutes or hours worth of writing or editing, engagement with my readers by number of likes or shares, etc. These are trackable items. Which also means, I can track improvements from week to week by paying attention to trends in the tracking.

How far have you come? What have you accomplished so far? Reviewing your tracking, what can you do to improve the process?

In addition to catching up on my writing process, which is what my actions in the past week were about, I can also track my progress moving forward. I have re-set my content process and will continue with these new strategies for a few weeks. And then I can look and see if my output has improved over that time. If it has – yeah! If it has not, I probably need to review and adjust my strategies.

To Review:

Setting PACT goals is a strategy that focuses on the process and not just the end product. We can use PACT goals with SMART goals, as the support to accomplish our SMART goals. OR we can use PACT goals as a method of continuous improvement. PACT stands for Purpose, Action, Continuous and Trackable, and can be used to help us focus on the process of progress and not just the event of achieving a goal.

I hope you found this helpful. If you would like to comment, please share with me on social media or drop me an email at colleen@peaceofmindpo.com, or drop me a DM on one of my social media platforms. I can’t wait to hear about how PACT goals helped you move forward.

Take Your Accountant’s Advice (or mine)

I’m writing this on Tax Day, April 15, 2024.

Did you know? I have two accountants in my life, my husband and now my oldest son.

We all have our strengths, and these two are very organized about a lot of things and especially around helping people with their taxes.  It’s funny to me, neither my husband nor my son are in tax accounting for their job, but they both help friends and family members this time of year.

And, in keeping with last week’s topic of deadlines, I will be very happy for them both when the tax deadline has passed and they can get back to a more regular schedule!

At dinner last night, I asked Greg that if he was on this week’s podcast,  what would he want you all to know? So here we go: a collaboration between my accountant, the most organized person I know when it comes to money, and me, your certified professional organizer.  Maybe some day I will get him on the podcast!

  • First up, he and I both recommend that you create a couple of file folders this week.
    • Name one 2024 Taxes, or 2024 Supporting Tax Documents or something like that.
    • Start another one called 2024 Paid Bills.
    • The 2024 Supporting Tax Documents is a waiting receptacle for anything that comes along that you need to keep for next year’s tax time.  During the year, we might receive, for example, thank you letters or receipts for charitable donations, and you can just drop those in the waiting file. In addition, you now will have a safe place to keep your 2024 tax documents when they start to arrive the end of January, 2025.
    • The 2024 Paid Bills file is for for just that – Paid Bills in 2024.  If you still receive paper bills and if you keep them after they are paid, drop them in there as the year progresses.  We don’t really need to keep them in separate folders. I mean – how often do you go back and look at them anyway?
    • These first two files need to be kept close at hand.
  • Next up, make a folder for your filed 2023 taxes, if you have them in paper form.  This file does not need to kept so close at hand, but it certainly needs to be kept.  In the safe? Bottom file drawer?  Or digitally, save them on your computer and back them up on your external hard drive or the cloud.
  • If you really want to do next year’s you a a solid, make a note of what documentation you required for your 2023 tax filing – W2s, 1099’s, interest statements from investments, etc..
    • Let’s face it, our financial life – at least the accounts, not necessarily the amounts – don’t vary too much from year to year.
    • So, 2023’s filed tax return is going to be a great place to get ready for your 2024 filing in 2025.
  • Ok, now here is the real tax advice:
    • Here is the other thing I want you to do for future you.
      • Go to your calendar on your phone, on your to-do list, in your paper calendar for 2024 on the last page that is for planning for 2025.
        • On February 1, 2025, make yourself an appointment on your calendar to check out your 2024 Supporting Tax Documents file. Look at whatever information has accumulated in there from this current year. Look at the list in there that you made for what end of year statements, wage information, etc. that you’re waiting for and start keeping an eye out for it.
        • Also on February 1, 2025, put a date on the calendar to do your taxes or to go and meet with your accountant.
  • Finally, learn from your 2023 tax experience.
    • Are you getting a tax refund?
      • Cool. That works.
      • Some people intentionally use their taxes and tax refund as a savings account.
    • Do you owe taxes?
      • Less cool, I know. But it means you brought home more pay during the year.
      • And some people just expect that they will owe taxes and plan accordingly.
    • If you would like to adjust the taxes that get taken out of your pay during the year, to also then adjust your tax refund or your tax bill, you can do that.  Adjust your withholdings with your HR department, if you have one, or send in quarterly tax payments.
    • And here is a public service announcement: if your accountant gives you suggestions on how to make the tax process go easier next time, please listen to them and take action. They are our experts and we need to heed their advice.
      • For example, I have some homework to do. I need to make changes about how I note things in Quicken, because apparently my accountant and I have vastly different definitions about what constitutes as “Owners Equity”. My accountant is honest and patient, even when I was confused. But we’ll get there.

Don’t scramble, don’t procrastinate.  Give yourself the gift of calm competence in 2025.

How Does Your Brain Work? Learning Styles

Learning Styles: Does This Sound Like You?

  • “I’m more of a visual person.”
  • “I really need to talk some things out.”
  • If I hear a song once, I remember the words.”
  • “I’m more of a hands-on person.”
  • “If I drive to your house once, I will always remember how to get there.”

Yes, yes and yes!

Today, let’s talk about learning styles. In coaching, we call them processing modalities. I am going to use the terms “learning styles” and “modalities” interchangeably.  Our processing modalities are how OUR brain best deals with information.  These learning styles are part of what makes you you, but they are not character or personality traits. They are the paths your brain uses to process and cement information and turn it into something useful for you.

The most common ones, or at least the ones we will talk about today, are

  • Visual,
  • Auditory,
  • Verbal and
  • Kinesthetic (and relatedly, Tactile).

Simply put, visual processors learn by seeing, auditory learners learn by hearing, verbal learners learn by speaking, and kinesthetic and tactile processors learn by doing.

It is helpful for us to understand that there are learning styles, that everyone is a blend of learning styles – you and me and everyone else that you interact with – and how to support our blend and the blend of the people we interact with.  Knowing you are a blend, and I am a blend, and that every other person in your life is their own blend of learning styles gets us closer to awareness, acceptance and understanding.

An important thing to remember is that you have options. Options on how to support your own learning styles, and options on how to manage yourself with other people whose learning style is different than yours.

When you think of a traditional classroom, consider all the ways the teachers engage multiple learning styles.  We read aloud, or listen to the teacher or other students read aloud, or we may listen to a recording.  We may use our hands and use manipulatives in math, or word cards on our desk in ELA. We write our own notes, we look at things around the room or on the board, we might move around to stations or act out a scene from literature or history.  There are many ways to reinforce learning styles.

We all possess all of the learning styles, but we each our own special blend of strengths.  The styles or modalities show up differently in each of us at times, too. When he was little, I thought one of my sons was being difficult because we didn’t see things the same way.  And the answer is, we absolutely DID NOT see the things the same way.  And, that’s ok. 

When we talked it through, he and I discovered that he is a visual learner and that when I told him to go in and clean his room, he saw everything in his room as one thing, one composite item.  He would get overwhelmed.  It was difficult for him to break down the big composite item into smaller pieces of the room, like making his bed, then putting the laundry on the floor into the hamper and hanging up his baseball cap.  Once we figured out that we literally didn’t see things the same way, we figured out how I could change my language and he could change how he looked at things and then we started to communicate better.

Now that we know that there are learning styles, and that we all have our own strengths in those learning styles, let’s look at how we can use that knowledge to navigate our life.

I will use myself as a case study:

I am strong in multiple modalities, which is quite common.  One of my strengths is auditory learning. I am a really good listener, which serves me well in my role as an organizational coach and musician. And, that can also be a problem because I get stressed out with prolonged or chaotic loud noise. I LOVE and I mean LOVE a good concert, either seated in plushy seats listening to a full orchestra but more so, in a bar listening to one of our favorite bands.  AND, though I love the concert, I’m also somewhat relieved to walk outside in relative quiet to let my brain process all of the awesome new input I just experienced.  Both can be true.

I am also a professional speaker and singer.  Not surprisingly, I am a strong verbal learner. For myself, I know that I benefit from talking through challenges and ideas, and very often I gain awareness when I hear myself say something out loud. And I can get to a point some days that I am talked out.  I am a verbal learner, but I dislike talking on the phone. I would rather speak in person. I am aware of my learning styles, how they show up for me, how to manage me and what tools I can use as I go through my day.

So, let’s look at the specific learning styles.

A visual processor:

  • learns by seeing, or imagining something in their mind;
  • recognizes patterns;
  • appreciates aesthetics; and
  • appreciates visual representations like graphs or pictures.
  • Ways to work as a visual processor:
    • use color to indicate category or priority, in our homes or professional life;
    • use highlighters or fun colors of ink in writing;
    • make a good list or map of things, take pictures of things to help you remember;
    • be purposeful in the physical arrangement of space; and
    • become aware that we are impacted by visual stimuli.
    • For example, to support my visual learning, I request communications in text or email form so that I can refer back to it if I need reminders.
  • Times it can get in the way:
    • one visual learner may want to see everything all the time and doesn’t put things away;
    • another visual learner may get distracted or overwhelmed by seeing everything, and we need to put it away behind a closed door; and
    • for some visual learners, if they don’t see something, it ceases to exist for them.

An auditory learner:

  • learns by listening, hearing and even reading (we often hear the words in our head);
  • remembers things by how they sound, or what they were hearing when they learned it;
  • may hum or talk to themselves or others; and
  • may learn ideas while listening to favorite music, instrumental music, white noise or other noisescapes, or silence, depending on the person.
  • Ways to work with it:
    • learn new material by reading flashcards, directions, stories or assignments out loud;
    • record yourself spelling words or working through new content, and then listen to the recording;
    • use mantras or repeated phrases to reinforce an idea or learning; and
    • listen to podcasts, or use recordings, books on tape, or having test questions read to you out loud to help you study.
  • Times it can get in the way:
    • auditory learners rely heavily on hearing, but can also become overwhelmed with loud, chaotic, off-key or repetitious sounds; and
    • as with all learning styles, age and health can have an impact, for example, our hearing acuity changes with age, so we need to get our hearing checked regularly.

A verbal learner:

  • learns by speaking and expressing themselves, by “talking it out”;
  • is often strong in written communications, too, and reading and writing; and
  • is often strong with auditory learning.
  • Ways to work with it:
    • many of the tools with an auditory learner works with a verbal learner, too, as we are doing the reading of the materials; or
    • learn new material by reading flashcards, directions, stories or assignments out loud;
    • For example, I often “write” my articles while I commute or travel.  I open the Voice Memo app on my Iphone, and record my article, then use a transcription website to turn it into text. And at rehearsal the other night, I used the voice record to text option to send a text for follow up, and this sparked a conversation among my choir members.
  • Times it can get in the way:
    • as I mentioned in my case study, verbal learners can get talked out; and
    • verbal learners may speak too much, disrupting themselves and others.

Kinesthetic and tactile leaners:

  • learn by touching, doing, moving, building or drawing.
  • Kinesthetic learners use major muscle groups and gross motor skills;
  • tactile learners work more with fine motor skills and their hands;
  • learn best when there is some sort of movement involved with the experience;
  • learn by taking things apart and putting them back together; and
  • communicate with your whole body, physically and by touch.
  • Ways to work with it:
    • floor plans, maps;
    • factor in activity, gravitate towards sports or careers that incorporate movement;
    • physically manipulate learning tools like flash cards into categories, topics, etc.;
    • accept gum chewing, fidgeting, tinkering and taking physical breaks;
    • do hands-on activities that involve touching, building, moving, acting or drawing; or
    • offer to be the note taker in a group setting, to use the activity to keep your mind engaged.
  • Times it can get in the way:
    • a K or T learner may struggle if and when they are physically fatigued, injured or sore, or if space does not permit movement;
    • it is difficult to sit still and you may need to take frequent breaks;
    • fidgeting and movement may be mis-construed as lack of focus or impulse control in a traditional class room setting.

I could write forever about learning styles, but this is a good place to start.

Consider the different learning styles mentioned, and reflect on which one or ones resonate with you the most. Consider some of the tips suggested to help you in your day-to-day experiences. And take an active interest in the learning styles of the people around you as well, to foster communication and support!

P.S. I write this with gratitude to Denslow Brown with Coach Approach for Organizers, https://coachapproachtraining.com/, where I first learned about learning styles and processing modalities.

How To Get Back On Track

When naming this article and episode, I tried Catawampus – as in, “when it all goes catawampus”, but my SEO score on my blog did not think that was a good idea. Noted.

I was a guest on the EP podcast episode that dropped last Tuesday, March 12.

We recorded on Monday, March 11th because that is the day I record my episode, too. And I was a guest on the EP Podcast because Chris, my producer, had a family emergency over the weekend with his 18 year old daughter. And she’s fine. Healing well.

And everybody’s fine in my house too. Everybody’s okay. We’ll start with that.

But we talked through, first of all, the situation and that it was crazy for them, I know. And then the question he asked me was, “After the fact, what do you do to pick up the pieces?” You’ve been through this dramatic and potentially traumatic situation and what do you do to get back on track?

In his situation, he has children other than the post-surgical one to take care of. He needs to take care of his daughter while she recovers. Anything he had planned for that day and also for the days to follow obviously just went out the window because, well, that’s what the situation required.

We’re going to do it because it needs done and we’re going to do it because our kids win and because we love them. And guys, I really do love you. So if you’re listening – well, I don’t think my kids listen to my podcast, but some of their friends do. And then we pick up the pieces and get back to normal, get back to work.

Here’s the twist. We recorded at noon on Monday because we usually record at noon on Mondays. We have systems for these things and everything else. I’m still like a week behind. I’d like to get back on track with that personally. That is a leftover from my recent surgery.

My college age son was home for his Spring Break and there was an incident and he lost consciousness in the kitchen. I’ll leave it at that. It was scary. He ended up going to the ER in an ambulance. So, a shout out to the Evergreen Park Fire Department, the EMTs when we called 911 were awesome and competent and kind. They took care of business, they took care of my son, they loaded him up and we went to the hospital.

One thing Chris mentioned on his episode was that his 18 year old was still eligible for the pediatric ER, and if you have to choose, the pediatric ER is a better place for a young person than the regular ER. And I found it surreal that, within 8 hours of having that conversation with him, I found myself in the front seat of an ambulance while they unloaded my 19 year old in the ambulance bay next to the door labeled Pediatric ER at Christ Hospital.

Never, in no imagination of my day could I have foreseen that I would be confirming that information from him within 8 hours of recording that episode. But there we were. And to repeat, he’s fine. My son’s fine. And I have his permission to write about and talk about this. He’s ok.

Let me make the rest of this very long story short. We were there for 24 more hours. We arrived around 7:30 pm Monday. They ran tests and started the admission process at 11 pm. He was finally discharged from the ER at 08:00 pm on Tuesday night, they had not yet found him a bed in 24 hours

When you’re in the ER, you gain perspective. Obviously, other people were having a much worse time of life than we were. My son’s ok.

Simple things. My son was in the ER but he had a room with doors. A lot of people didn’t. He didn’t have a bathroom or a shower, and I didn’t sleep at all because the room is not set up with a chair for a non-patient to sleep in. I never pulled an all-nighter in college, that didn’t happen until I was a parent!

We had family and friends texting and checking in on us, with offers of support and assistance if we needed anything. I am so grateful. And I’m grateful for Greg, my husband, so that we could tag team and I could go home for a few hours of sleep when he came back first thing Tuesday morning because we didn’t want to miss any of the doctors in consultation, etc.

But as Chris mentioned, once the dust settles, right, after all this happens, then what? When you look around your house and you realize that all of the routines that you normally have that support your life were completely abandoned, for a few days. Where do you start? Where?

I’ve talked about emergencies recently. I had a recent surgery as well. Five weeks ago I had surgery on my nose. It was planned. It was February 13, but I had known about it since the end of November. It wasn’t news. It ended up being more complex, more invasive, and I had a lot more downtime and a lot more healing that I needed to do. That was news, but the schedule was already cleared, I had no expectations of myself already. It wasn’t an emergency, it was a hassle. I won’t say it was fun. I’m still not done healing. I still have swelling and follow up appointments. It’s not don, but for the most part, I’m good to go.

But trips to the ER, for your daughter and her appendix, for my son in the ER for 24 hours and a lot of diagnostics to determine what’s going on and what to follow up on. Those are emergencies. They both have had good outcomes so far. I know it could be worse. Oh, my God, do I know it could be worse.

Once the emergency has passed, now what? What do we do to get back on track?

I came home at 830 Tuesday morning after tagging my husband out at the hospital, having not slept for 27 hours. I set up my phone and apple watch to charge, took a shower, brushed my teeth, had a really big glass of water and slept for 2 hours. Then I got up and I made sure things were taken care of, sent a few emails, took a shower, got dressed, grabbed a protein shake for the road and headed back up to the hospital.

On Tuesday night, when we were finally discharged, we asked the question again.

First things first: We’re headed home, do we need to eat? We can pick up something on the way.
All right, I’m going to drop you guys off, and go to the pharmacy for my son’s prescriptions.

Anything we need grocery wise? No? Okay. We just had people over, so we have a full fridge of food.

Everybody was comfortable and happy.

Next, Laundry. Unpack the bag from the hospital Yes, let’s start a load of laundry.

Next, let’s make sure maintenance has been occurring. Load the dishwasher, bring in the mail, make sure that there’s no packages out front.

None of this new. I think that was the point that I made when I talked to with Chris on his podcast. We don’t do new stuff. We take a minute and remember what our routines are. And routines are there to help us make sure that our needs are being consistently met. That’s what routines do for us. And so first things first, we’re to check in on the needs. Needs are food, clothing, shelter, safety, warmth. Right? Basic bottom level of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs?

Check in on those, make sure that all of those are functioning. Food, clothing, shelter, safety, warmth. Once we take care of those needs, then we can move up the list.

Now, when we got home from the hospital, finally, it was after 08:00 on Tuesday night after very little sleep. At that point, another need, very rapidly was becoming sleep. I could have tried to do more, but it wouldn’t have worked. Sleep is also a need, and that was the answer. Meeting needs consistently so that everybody can continue to function in survival. I’d love to get into optimal thriving mode. But first things first is survival. Food, clothing, shelter, safety, warmth, right? I mean, that’s where we got to start.

So, when in doubt, that’s where we spend our first hours of attention, is making sure that those needs are met for the moment. In the moment. Then, how to continue to meet those needs for the next couple of hours and then days. We start with needs, we start small, we start with what is right in front of us. We don’t need to do the big stuff right now.

So to recap: First things first. Having routines, very helpful routines, helped me to grab what I needed to grab, throw it all in my backpack (which is my purse) that is always sitting in the same place and run out the door with the ambulance people. Anybody I need to contact was already programmed in my phone. All of my apps are up to date. Everything is up to date. My wallet has our insurance card and has all of John’s information, all of my son’s information.

There are things that maintenance, that routines absolutely provided. My son is otherwise in good health. I’m in good health. Maintaining good health eliminates helped rule out some potential problems because he’s in otherwise good health.

When emergencies happen, that’s it. That is where you need to be. Everything else needed to fall away. With my son is the only place I need to be. The rest of life will all be waiting for me when I get back, for better or for worse.

But that’s the answer. So we create routines because in the heat of it, in the heart of it, in crazy times, we need to have those structures in place to keep things going. So we have habits around needs, so those needs continue to be consistently met. And to give us the habits, the reminders of how to get back to some semblance of normal when our days haven’t necessarily looked normal.

Start with needs. Start with what is right in front of you. Don’t create something new, but get back to your routines. And that, my friends, is how to get back on track.

Body Doubling and “How Does Finish Line Friday Work”?

How Does Finish Line Friday Work? And, What Is Body Doubling?

I’d like to reintroduce body doubling. 

I was driving to a client appointment as I started to dictate this content out loud.  One benefit of slowly easing back into in-person clients this week is that I increased my commute time. I don’t really look forward to commuting time, but it is also uninterrupted time for me to think, and that is helpful! 

I like to be productive with my time. And while I love quiet uninterrupted time, there is still something to be said about working with other people, too! Enter, body doubling.

My phone has a name, my laptop has a name. Believing that there is somebody on the receiving end of what I have to say anchors me to the space. Believing that someone is expecting me and someone’s on the other side of that anchors me so I don’t get distracted.

A new community member reached out to me via email.  I believe she has started following me and my content in the last few months at one of my recent presentations. She visited a recent Finish Line Friday and wasn’t sure how it all works.  So, this is for you, Karen. I will endeavor to explain more clearly what exactly Finish Line Friday is, and how we use the strategy of Body Doubling and the Pomodoro Method of time management to increase productivity.

Body doubling is a productivity tool, a strategy, call it what you would like. In my own experiences and with my clients, body doubling helps us be more productive. Body doubling is one of the many perks of working with a professional organizer because having a person with you in your space as you work can be very motivating. It anchors us to the work and the space.  

Same goes for coaching. Body doubling is absolutely vital. For example, early in the pandemic lock down, a number of my clients struggled with the new phenomenon of unattached work time, of working virtually for the first time and it was not working for them.  They did not feel that they were being as productive as they could be, because it turns out that being around other people who were also working on similar things helped them to stay on track.

There were hours when I would sit in a zoom room or on Facetime with a client and they were doing their work and I was doing my work, and that would help my client stay on track. If a question came up, I’d be happy to answer it or I was ready to listen attentively. One client in particular would sometimes need to verbally work through something because she’s a verbal processor, and we would do this parallel play, this body doubling, for a few hours at a time because she knew that she needed support around some of the tougher projects.

Body doubling isn’t needed for every task.  You are a capable, productive person.  But some tasks are harder to tackle than others, and that is when we bring in tools. 

My middle son lives alone, but in community, in theater housing. He has his own apartment but he and his fellow actors all live in the same apartment complex.  He mentioned that there are times when he needs to get things done. Maybe he needs to tackle a project that he’s having some kind of mental or motivational block around, and he’ll have his friend come over and she can work on whatever she wants to work on or play video games, it really doesn’t matter. That’s not the point. he point is, having somebody else physically in his space keeps him from getting distracted.  She doesn’t have to remind him, it’s just her presence that will remind him.   He calls it Parallel Play, like when two year olds play next to each other on the floor with some blocks.  They’re developmentally too young to play together but they play with their own thing side by side.

Finish Line Friday is like parallel play. And here is how it works:

Finish Line Friday uses the Pomodoro method of 25 minutes of work and five minutes of rest.  Studies have shown the most efficient and effective ratio of work to rest is 52 minutes and ten minutes. For every 52 minutes of work, we need ten minutes of rest. And after three or four cycles of that, we need a longer period of rest. Imagine you start your workday at nine. You work from nine to 9:50 then take a 10 minute break. You work from ten to 1050, take a 10 minute break. You work eleven to 11:50, and then maybe you take half an hour for lunch. Right?  So, this cycle is something we may already be familiar with.

As a participant in Finish Line Friday the other day said, we know these things, but it’s really helpful to hear them said out loud by others.

Finish Line Friday helps us get into the healthy and productive habit of 50 minutes of work and 10 minutes of rest. 

In practice, for Finish Line Friday:

  • We all hop into the zoom room at 9 am;   
  • We arrive with our own work for the 2 hour session;
  • We spend a few minutes chatting;
  • We set our intentions for our first 25 minutes of work;
  • I share my screen with a 25-minute countdown clock, counting down to the next 5 minute break.
  • Then, I mute all of us, though we can stay on screen.  That’s how that works.
  • We work for the 25 minutes, check in for the break with another 5 minute countdown clock, and start all over again.
  • And we just do that for four cycles. 
  • There are not assignments, at least not from me!  Come to us with your own agenda, with your own work, with your own ideas about what you want to get done.

Yes, I’m happy to talk to you about productivity or triaging your to-do list or prioritizing.  We can absolutely do that in the breaks or in the chat.  I facilitate productivity, but we are working side by side. We are working together on our own things, myself included. We all come with our own agenda, and I supply the structure and the community. 

I supply the structure and the community. That’s Finish Line Friday. 

Recently, the work has included: 

  • one participant was uploading artwork to a shared drive;
  • another was getting ready for houseguest and was grateful for a 2 hour block of time, knowing that they would get some stuff done, maybe talk to people on the break, and have fun (and that is FLF does for them);
  • a first-time participant was excited to get through a couple of planning tasks and then start working on a professional project; and
  • I cleaned out my in-boxes, wrapped up messages for the week, then moved on to writing presentation content for a project I’m working on for my national association. 

Now that I have more fully explained Finish Line Friday, please assemble your to-do list and plan to join us for a Friday morning of getting things done!

Meal Planning: Start With What You Know

Last week, we got started on Meal Planning by asking two questions: What does healthy mean to you? And, What are your meal planning goals?

I hope you have had some time to think about your answers to those questions! With answering those questions, you have gained some awareness for and about yourself. Awareness is the first step for progress!

I know Meal Planning may sound like a lot of change and a lot of work, but it is easier than you think, especially to get started. I am not here to tell you what and how and when to eat. Those are personal choices. What I am here to say is that meal planning can help support your intentions and achieve your goals, whatever they may be.

So, as we get started with the HOW-TO for meal planning, let me suggest starting with what you know.

So, what do you know? 😉 Let me tell you, You know more than you think you do!

First, you know you.

You know what healthy means to you, and you know your goals.

You know your preferences, your allergies, your schedule, your finances, and your family situation and who else you need to factor into your meal plans.

Let’s get to it. Starting with what you know, Make a list of your favorites.

I don’t know about you, but sometimes coming up with ideas for what we want to eat is the hardest part of meal planning for me. It’s not checking inventory, or grocery shopping or even cooking – the IDEAS are what stump me. To circumvent that trouble, I have a list on the inside of my cabinet door of 30 of my family’s favorite meals.

What are your favorite meals, or your family’s favorite meals? Favorite doesn’t have to mean complicated, it just means meals I know we will eat. Items included on this list for us are:

  • chicken pie
  • chicken enchiladas
  • chicken soup, with noodles or with rice
  • chicken breasts
  • tacos, ground beef or chicken
  • pork roast
  • pork chops
  • smoked sausage gumbo (crock pot)
  • andouille sausage and grits
  • kielbasa and pierogi
  • BLTs
  • ham and sweet potatoes
  • beef stew
  • meatloaf
  • chili (crock pot)
  • burgers (summer)
  • pot roast
  • fish, shrimp
  • stuffed pepper casserole
  • egg roll in a bowl
  • breakfast for dinner, etc.

Right there, for us, are more than 20 ideas. Now consider that these days I make a big batch of two or three meals once a week and then reheat them, with veggies or a salad. With 20 ideas, that is 6-7 weeks of planning, if I wanted new ideas every week. And, I have to say, knowing that I have ideas for more than a month feels pretty great!

If you want to use meal planning to make changes and therefore are looking at new or different recipes, the same strategies hold true. Start with a list of recipes you would like to try, or foods that you want to incorporate into your plan. Try a new idea or a new food every week, and once you find winners, add them to your Favorites list!

The next two “Start with what you know” steps are related! We look at the schedule, we look at the inventory, we look back at the schedule and match things up, etc.

Take an inventory of what food you already own.

What is in the fridge, the freezer and the cabinets?

For example, on Saturday morning, I was getting ready to batch cook that evening for a few days. So I checked the freezer for what proteins we have on hand, and planned accordingly (chicken enchiladas and some lovely frozen, fully cooked lemon chicken).

The great thing about having a list of favorite meals and recipes is that I tend to have the ingredients for the items we eat the most often already on hand. So, the chicken enchiladas used homemade enchilada sauce, diced chicken, canned green chiles, canned black beans (I used red kidney because that is what was in the cabinet), tortillas and shredded cheddar cheese. All of which I had on hand.

I need to do more batch cooking later this week, and as I planned my batches for Saturday looked ahead at what else we might want to eat coming up, and added those items to my grocery list.

A suggestion that I will plant here is that, as you start this process for yourself, now would be a great time to Pantry Shop! What that means is to review your foods, checking for expiration dates and making sure everything is safe, and then incorporate what you have on hand into your meal plan for the next week or two. It’s a great way to clear clutter in the cabinets and also save some money by not grocery shopping this week!

Once we know what we have, take a look at your schedule for the next 7 days.

Consider, too, if you need to plan for breakfast, lunch and dinner each day, or just 2 meals or even just one. When my sons were little, we meal planned for dinner. Breakfast and lunch were easy and basic, but dinner was a little more complicated.

Now that I cook typically for just my husband and myself, our needs have changed. I still don’t plan for breakfast, but I factor in extra left overs because we tend to eat lunch at home more often with remote work. A friend who homeschools her children plans for all three meals every day because that makes her week flow more smoothly. Perhaps you don’t need that much detail. Your choice.

Also, when looking at the schedule, note days that either don’t need a meal, or perhaps need a special one. For example, my college student comes home on Friday for his Spring Break, so I’m guessing there will be pizza from our favorite local pizza place Rosangela’s for dinner, no need to cook that night!

So, before you say – No Way, Colleen, meal planning is way too much work! Or, before you decide you have to make HUGE Changes, which by the way are really difficult to implement and maintain, let’s start with what we know. We know ourselves, we know our favorites, we know our inventory and we know our schedule! Start with what is in front of you. Just start!