Tag: NAPO

“Better than Expected”.

How should I take this statement? “This was better than I expected.”

I feel like I need to talk about this. And I just have to laugh. I had two in-person clients recently who were new to me and to the organizing process. I met a new client this week who is an amazing person. My clients are so cool. I get to meet such great people. This new client is a good human being doing such good things.

I also worked with a new client last week, that particular client is the daughter of an existing client and wanted me to help her with a project.

Two different clients, two different days, two completely different projects. And they both said “This was better than I expected.”

This week’s client had questions about productivity, time management and routines. That is my jam. I love that.

Last week’s client needed in-person organizing of things. She needed help with closets and organizing, with getting her closet organized around her new job and getting ready in the morning in professional clothes. Routines, too, but mostly the physical structure around getting her clothes organized. That was awesome. Such a satisfying project.

And, as I always do, I checked in with my clients as our appointments progressed. We check in around the agenda for the day, the scope of work, their expectations and how they feel we are doing.

Each of them said “Wow, this is not what I expected at all.”

Obviously, my next question always then is,

“Okay, well, is that good or bad?” and then

“What were your expectations, that this is not what you expected?”,

Yes, I do have questions ready to ask when my clients tell me these things, because they are not the first to say it nor will they be the last. Thankfully, they said, and most do, “No, in a good way, as in ‘This is going much better than I expected.'”

Thank goodness.

They meant: it was going well, they were excited about the process and they were really happy with the work that we had accomplished.

I want to acknowledge that even though apparently they were expecting the process to be rough, they still were willing to take the leap and make the appointment. I want to appreciate that they were brave and that even though they thought it might be hard, they were still committed enough to making change and to the process that they wanted to do it anyway. That is major. They could have just not wanted to do that but they stuck with it. I really respect that they were willing to make that happen even though that apparently they thought it was going to be torture.

I would like to dispel some myths around working with a professional organizer or organizational coach.

Myth #1, I will come in and take over the plan.

I will not, I promise. I tell my organizing and coaching clients, “the agenda is your agenda”. The agenda for our appointments is created by my client with my input around what my clients want to create, what my clients want to see happen. The agenda is your agenda.

For example, let’s imagine that you call me and say, “I want to get organized. I want to organize my closets. I want to maximize the storage space in the closet that I have so that I can find the clothes that I need for getting dressed for work in the morning better.” Great. And I’m not going to come in and say, “you called me and want to work in your closet, but now that I am here, I want to organize your kitchen”.

The agenda is your agenda. Keep in mind, we can adjust the agenda if you’d like, but that is also up to you. Sometimes when we’re making good progress, you may say “I’d like to pause this project and get your opinion on these other two spaces in my house before you go.” And we can do that. But you are still creating the agenda. I’m not there to make you do anything you don’t want to do.

Myth #1.5, If you are unclear on your goals, I am going to tell you what to do.

I see this as related to the first myth, and I assure you, we can figure this out together, too.

Perhaps you know you want to get organized, but you don’t know where to start or which projects are most important, etc. And we can figure out that together, too.

Myth #2, You will be judged or shamed for any disorganization.

No, you will not. I promise you. You are awesome. You have many strengths and skills. And I am betting you are more organized than you think. Most of my clients are more organized than they realize.

And if you’re not, that’s ok, too. I am organized, and I am here to help. I’ve heard from many of my clients over the years that they have been shamed or judged for being disorganized. Hear me now, I’m not going to shame you and neither should any other organizer or coach. There is no shame, there’s no judgment. I don’t expect everyone’s space to be organized. If it were, why would you need an organizer?!

What does happen is active listening, which is not judgment. If you’re calling an organizer or a coach, you are hoping to change your situation or environment. That is not judging, that is hearing what you’re saying. And that how your situation currently is not how you want it to be. That you want it to be different, and we work together to make it different. I can help you, and I have dozens of ideas to help. I’m not going to shame you, there is no judgment. I’m not going to yell, shake my finger or turn around and walk away.

Myth #3, “I’m so overwhelmed, I don’t know where to start.”

Well, this might not be a myth, you really might be overwhelmed. But I am not. And I will help us figure out where to start.

Myth #4: “You’re going to make me get rid of everything.”

I hear this one ALL THE TIME. At organizing appointments, at presentations – ALL THE TIME.

My goal is not to make you get rid of things. That may be an outcome, but that is not the broad goal.

Very often the “getting organized” conversation requires that we change things, right? If the current situation isn’t working, then yes, we need to change.

And, at times, that means we have to purge things completely from our home. And sometimes it means our things need to go elsewhere in our home.

For example, last week when I was working with my client on her closet, I didn’t make her get rid of anything. She had already decided that a few things didn’t work for her anymore, style wise, and we set those aside to donate. But for the majority of our time together, we discussed that with the limited space she had for her current clothes, she could separate her clothes by seasons and put the wintry clothes into storage until Fall. She didn’t get rid of it, we just stored it differently.

There were also some seasonal items like Halloween costumes and Christmas pajamas, so we put those away until Fall, too. The few items that left were her idea. Sometimes purging is part of the solution and sometime it is not, and that will be up to you.

Not a Myth, #5: I understand that calling an organizer or a coach is a leap of faith. To let a stranger into your home and your life is a really big deal. I, and any good organizer or coach, is going to go to great lengths to make you comfortable. I respect your brave decision.

Not a Myth, #6: There might be homework. In coaching, there almost always is, even if it is just processing the learning we gain during our sessions. There’s no mandatory homework. There might be things that you and I agree would be really great ways to move you forward, and we can agree that you will accomplish them, for example, in the two weeks before our next appointment so that we can keep making progress. But that is agreed upon, mutually respectfully. Logically, in terms of what you want to accomplish in the timeframe in which you want to accomplish it. Back to the beginning, “the agenda is your agenda”, right?

To recap,

Whatever it is people expect to have happen, more often than not, I hear a “Wow, that went way better” or “that was more fun that I expected” or “this was the first time someone didn’t yell at me about organizing” or “we got so much done in our time together!”.

Thankfully, that’s what I get more than anything is that the session went way differently, but way better than I had expected.

Please ask questions. Let me know what your preconceived notions are so we can talk about them. If you have fears of any kind, reach out and we can talk them through. Don’t let fear of the unknown keep you from taking the leap and making your life better. Organizing and organizational coaching isn’t painful. It is work, to do and be and get better, but it will most likely go better than expected!

May Asks A Lot Of Us

Tell me if it’s just me, because hey – maybe it is. But the month of May asks a lot of us, doesn’t it?

May has a crazy-busy event schedule. I don’t happen to have anybody graduating from anything this year, or any other major life events for my sons this year.  I understand, though, for those who do! We were reflecting over the weekend that two years ago this week, in a 9 day span, the Klimczak household had an engagement in Michigan, a college graduation in Indiana and a high school graduation in Illinois with all of the assorted extra events attached with those as well.  Oh, and a round of Covid, and two sons started new jobs.

May is just busy.  I was talking to an accountability partner on our bi-weekly call last week and she mentioned, aptly, that the pace is wearing on her.  Yes, I would agree.

May asks a lot of us. Even just the typical stuff.

My body clock is shifting from hibernation mode to active mode.  It’s brighter earlier and energy has returned. If anybody has seasonal affective disorder, you know what I mean.

Brightness has returned. We are up earlier and out later in the evening because it’s still daylight.  The biological shift to be out and about and do more things is a real thing.

Days are longer, temperatures are warmer. I planted a container garden so I need to switch my habits this time of year to factor in watering my plants every day.

I also shifted my routine to add daily walking into the schedule first thing since it’s bright earlier.

Energy shifts. Routines shift.

Last week, while I was starting to work on this content, I was driving to pick up my college student son from campus to move him home until August.  I was saying to a friend that even though it is only 56 degrees and cloudy today, it is the beginning of our summer.

It is that shift to summer for us because John moved home and this is his summer break. Like I said, it might not look like summer, but it’s our summer because John is home for summer break and the household and routines shift.

And there is the end-of-the-year school year extravaganzas. I had the opportunity to address the National Junior Honor Society induction ceremony at Central Middle School last week. What a great group of kids. I’m telling you, all those parents and all those kids should be so proud.  End of the school year concerts, graduations, ceremonies. And then the weddings, graduation parties, etc.

Yes, the schedule is revving up. We have a wedding in our family the end of May in Baltimore, and that is a really big deal!

May is often a month of transitions, so it doesn’t surprise me that historically May is “Revise your Work Schedule” Month. 

We change our schedule for biological reasons, in response to the seasons and shifts in daylight. We change our schedules around our different roles in our lives.

I don’t have children in elementary school or high school anymore. But because of my board of education work, I am still attached to the academic schedule. Our last day of classes is the first week in June.

So, let’s take a look at how to manage all of this.

The first step is the awareness that it’s happening. Awareness that it’s “That Time of Year”. Awareness that, thankfully, things are also wrapping up at the same times that other things are getting started. When my kids were younger, we would add in Spring and Summer sports to the calendar and then school year responsibilities would slowly taper off.  Maybe you have responsibilities that only happen in the winter. Many groups and meetings take summer breaks. My choir at church breaks for the summer. Responsibilities shift, and in some ways, the load is lightened, which is nice.

Awareness. Awareness. Awareness. Identify if it’s happening, and that it is happening to you. Take this as an opportunity to make changes if you’d like. 

Since culturally and biologically things are shifting anyway, you could also take advantage of this as an opportunity to choose to make some shifts for yourself. And so how do we do that? How do we make those shifts?

Start with awareness.

In my call last week with my accountability partner, she mentioned that writing up the report for our call helped her review what she had accomplished in the last two weeks and also what she hopes to accomplish in the next two weeks. That is how our sessions work.

Our accountability calls was a good way for her to get her thoughts out of her brain and on to paper (or in an email) where she could put them in order for herself.

I mentioned the same to her, that the wall full of post-it notes that had been next to me, as a product of a very professional busy couple of last couple of weeks, have been taken down as the tasks have been completed, and the wall is now clear.

As I said, awareness that it’s happening. And what to do about it.

Grab a calendar, paper or digital.  In my accountability call, I stated I would pull out a paper calendar so I can visualize the next three months. I will map out when we travel in the next three months. For the wedding, for a week in Michigan, taking my son back to college, concerts and other scheduled events. Putting the big boulders on the calendar and making sure that the big stuff gets taken care of helps us determine what we else we can say yes to and what we can’t.

Also, grabbing that calendar and the to do list and getting all of the ideas out of our brains and into a usable form really helps. Yes, now is the time. So I’m saying that out loud for you and for me.

Then look at the tasks attached to transitions.  I spoke to graduating 8th graders and their parents, right? They are heading off to high school in a few short months, and these kinds of transitions have other tasks and steps attached to them.  The book list – perhaps summer reading? The supply list. What do we need, clothing-wise? Sports physicals and Fall sports training that starts on August 1?  What do we need to do to start to embrace the new calendar or schedule? What are the things that we can do now to get us better ready for that transition in the fall? Plotting those on the calendar is super important.

These are all important things to think about, and they’re kind of the next natural progression of these major lifestyle shifts now.

We should be busy enjoying the successful ends of some things, but remembering that with the ending of one thing often comes the beginning of something else.

My son moved home for the summer after a really great semester, but in August he will move into an apartment and we will need to do some planning now for that then. We have to start looking at what does he need to be more independent when he moves into his apartment in August. And that is not a question to ask in August. That’s a question to ask now, or as soon as possible.

At least when your mom’s an organizer, I guess it is. Just some things to think about!

To recap:

  • Be aware that transitions are happening.
  • Make some decisions for yourself about how you want things to go.
  • Grab a calendar and look forward to the next 3 months-ish.
  • Grab that to-do list and make some notes and plans to make the transitions go more smoothly, and also to set yourself up to succeed when transitions come again.

I’m wishing you a great May, a great start of summer.

I hope you take time to celebrate events and milestones, that you take time to plan some relaxing times for the next few months.  Transitions are inevitable, but how can we embrace them and act on them and take an active and intentional hand in crafting them so they don’t just happen to us. They are things that we make happen in the way that we want to make them happen. And I hope that with a little planning now, you can embrace the transitions and the adjusted schedule for summer with as much ease and joy as possible.

Success Requires Practice. A Lot Of Practice.

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I can’t believe I am saying this, but I recently published my 500th blog article.

That is noteworthy, at least to me. I could never have predicted, all those years ago, when I started publishing blog articles that I would have stuck with it for this long. Or I couldn’t have predicted way back when on which day, far away in the future, that I would publish my 100th, or 300th or 500th article. And, by the way, that day was April 15th, 2024.

My first blog post was on May 19, 2010.

I vacillate most days between either wanting to take down old posts that have become outdated due to technology advances or life changes for me, or wanting to leave every post up forever because they’ve become a journal or diary of sorts. I will most likely leave them be.

2010 seems a long time ago. My sons, now 19, 24 and 26, were 5.5, 10 and 12. Personally, my organizing questions then were much different than my organizing questions now. And my business has certainly grown and changed in those 14 years. Next month I will celebrate my 21st year in business. Wow.

I started my company as a mother of two small boys who wanted more flexibility in her schedule than an office job downtown could provide. Soon after, I had our third son. My company survived the economic downturn in 2008 and a global pandemic in 2020. I was doing my end of the month bookkeeping the other day, and my monthly numbers are back up to pre-pandemic levels and beyond. That is very exciting. And more importantly, I am serving and reaching more people than ever, and those numbers are truly more important that the monetary numbers any day.

But today I want to talk about the How. As in, how does one publish 500 articles in 14 years? Which averages out to 36- ish articles a year.

But to the How? With consistency and practice.

And that is where I want to go today.

You may not know this about me, or maybe you do – In addition to being a certified professional organizer, I am also a board member for my local Board of Education. And this week, I get to address our middle school National Junior Honor Society at their formal induction ceremony. When this podcast episode drops, they will have already heard this speech. They deserve to hear it first.
It’s for them.

But as I pondered today what I wanted to say to the students this week, and that in my podcast and newsletter, I wanted to share that I have hit the 500th article milestone, the two topics came together.

So, here’s my advice to our National Junior Honor Society members, and the rest of us, too, about consistency and practice.

Good evening, students, parents and special guests, staff and administrators.

Students, I am pleased to have the opportunity to speak to you this evening. Thank you, Mrs. Gibbons.

We have to practice what we hope to be.  Let’s start there.

Greatness, or success or healthy habits or athletic prowess or anything we want to achieve is not going to just happen. Sorry. But it will not just happen by accident. These accomplishments will not happen by chance, and they certainly won’t happen overnight or in an instant. Consistency and practice are key.

Now, please understand me, I love happy accidents. I love serendipitous events. Where what went into that event yielded amazing and unexpectedly awesome results! But we can’t count on those to happen. That’s what makes them accidents. So we need to work, for ourselves, on what we want to achieve. And not leave it up to chance.

Some of you may have natural talents like music or athletics or creative writing or being a great friend. Those are amazing, of course! And, we can still always improve.

You may not know this, but I sing professionally. I have been singing and playing the flute since I was in elementary school, just like some of you. And now, I get paid to do it, how cool is that? I was rehearsing over the weekend for a gig, and I was reminded that we have to practice for what we want to achieve. I needed to learn new songs and I had to practice to keep my breathing strong and to not stumble over awkward words. I put in the work so I can consistently achieve my desired results.

I also direct a choir at my church, and when we’re rehearsing together and someone makes a mistake – including me – we all brush it off and learn from it and then we move on. That’s why we rehearse, to make our mistakes and learn from them and get better, so when we perform for real, we are ready. I say that often to my choir, “That’s Why We Rehearse!”

And the more we practice, the better we’re going to get.

My challenge to you today is to make your days a practice of being good students or athletes, of being a good friend, a good human being, of being good leaders. Consistently practice being a good You.

As NJHS members, you have the opportunity to be leaders in your school community, in our Evergreen Park community and in our global community. I do, too. We have the opportunity to make our communities better, and the lives of the people in our communities better.

How amazing is that?! And we get to do that every day. That’s what leadership means, that we have the opportunity to make things better and that we should use that opportunity to do so.

National Junior Honor Society is a group of leaders. You have proven through academic achievement and service that you have the commitment, desire and consistency required to continue to be better and to help our community to be better.  

Better looks different for different people, and that’s okay. I’m not suggesting that we have be perfect. Ever. That’s ridiculous. Some days are rough, and we learn from those, too, and come back stronger from the learning. But we can always be better. Better than yesterday, but not as great as we will be tomorrow. We can always strive for better. Not perfect, not even great or good some days, but always better.

And so we have to practice consistently to make that happen.

Consistent practice towards a goal teaches us how to learn. I say to my choir that I love the professional challenge that comes with having to learn a new song.  We learn how to learn.  

Learning will never stop. It shouldn’t ever stop. 

When we stop learning, we stop growing.

We can practice learning.  We can practice being curious. We can practice being open.  We can practice appreciating others. 

Because here’s a secret. Even though we’re the leaders, we never stop learning from others. Ever. 

More over, we should seek to learn from others. 

We shouldn’t just let it happen. That’s one of those practice items, right? That’s why we rehearse. 

We should actively seek to learn from others. Actively learn. Actively practice what it is we want to achieve. Actively try to be better every day. Because we can consistently practice at being a good You and Me.

I congratulate you this evening.

I appreciate you. 

I seek to learn from you. 

I can’t wait to see what the next academic year brings and beyond. 

And I’m here with you. I can’t wait to be here with you on this journey. I’m willing to help however I can.

Thank you for your time, and congratulations.

Thanks for sticking with me to the end. I love having the opportunity to speak to our students, they are an amazing group of people. I take my responsibilities to my school district and students very seriously, and my commitment to you, my community, seriously as well. And my wish for all of us is to keep improving every day, in big and small ways, with consistent practice towards Better.

How To Not Get Distracted

A participant at a recent presentation asked me how to stay focused on her organizing projects.

She was talking about it in this context: if you’re already working on a project, how to make sure you actually stay in the space where you are working, and not get distracted and leave the space.

Or, if you do get distracted, how to make sure you come back.

I mention in my presentations that we don’t want to be butterflies when we organize. Flitting from room to room and project to project without purpose or focus. We end up in a different room, nothing has been accomplished and we’re not sure where the last few hours went!

This is a great question, and I hear this question a lot. And I know it resonated with other people attending the same presentation.

Yes, There are many strategies we can use to stay focused on our organizing projects and anchored to the space and the work. Some of these strategies can include:

  • Start the project with all of your tools and supplies with you. We can easily get distracted if we keep having to run to different parts of the house for garbage bags, a pen, tape, boxes, etc. Gather your tools and supplies first.
  • Bring in a friend and have them work with you. Perhaps you can swap organizing sessions – your closet this weekend and their closet next weekend!
    • This particular participant had attended the presentation with her sister, so I used the two of them as an example.
    • And a reminder, this is called body doubling, having a person working near you to set that example and help you stay focused.
      • That’s one of the benefits of working with an organizer, that body doubling component.
      • You can also take advantage of body doubling virtually, if you and a friend want to facetime each other while working on projects to chat and process your decision making, tell stories about items, etc.
  • Make the space enjoyable to be in. Turn on music, add a fan or a space heater, turn on the lights and open up the windows. Bring in a favorite beverage, non alcoholic, of course. Let’s do what we can to make this a more pleasant experience.
  • Make yourself some promises! Make sure you have some kind of reward planned for the end of your work session, the end of the project, etc.
  • One of my favorite strategies is to Set timers:
    • One thing that I do with my clients and myself is set a timer and tackle a project in really small bursts.
    • So I may set a timer for 20 minutes and see how much I can get done in that time until the timer goes off.
    • Sometimes I’m feeling so motivated after those first 20 minutes that I will set it for another 20 minutes and stick with it, or I will turn off the timer altogether and just say, oh, I’m doing great here. I can’t wait till I’m finished, so I’m just going to keep plugging along.

I want want to dig a little deeper today on this focus and attention question from both an organizing and also an organizational coaching perspective. Because if we often get distracted, we also have to unlearn that habit. And we need to re-learn healthier and more productive habits.

Breaking distraction habits and learning more productive ones instead is absolutely possible, but not without a plan and some strategies!

I’ll use my current situation as an example.

I started writing this content on a Sunday afternoon while I was also planning to do some batch cooking for the week. I prepped and chopped and assembled. I now have chili on the stove, simmering. I have 2 meatloaves in the crockpot. In addition, I have a rotisserie chicken from Costco that will be turned into dinner a little later. And between those three things, I will have meals for many days this week.

I like to batch-cook, and I especially love the results of cooking multiple meals at a time because it makes my life easier during the week. HOWEVER, there are days when I am cooking and I’ve been in the kitchen for a while, and all I want to do is be anywhere but in the kitchen.

I feel that very strongly sometimes. Like when it has been a lot of work, on top of a busy day. And all I want to do is be anywhere else. I want to go read a book. I want to go do something other than cook. I want to be anywhere else. But I also stop the impulse on that one because I know that sticking with the kitchen project for just a few more minutes – finishing the clean-up, putting the last few dishes in the dishwasher and wiping down the counters – is the better course of action. And then I can take a longer break, right?

Instead of responding to that misguided impulse to be anywhere else and leaving the work undone, I recognize the impulse, and I remind myself that if I stay just a few more minutes, I will be completely done instead of almost done, and I can enjoy my well earned rest a little more.

Let’s break that down.

  • Recognize the impulse, the distraction, the desire to go and do something else.
  • And stop for a minute and think it through.
    • Do I really need to be somewhere else right now, or am I just bored with this? Or, I’m tired, there are other things I also need to do, etc.

Let’s face it, there could be lots of reasons why I don’t want to be doing that project anymore, and it would be tempting to leave.

But – again – if I realize the distraction, and remind myself to stick with it just a few more minutes, I can be completely done instead of just almost done, and then I can enjoy that rest a little more, or I can go and do something else with a clear conscience.

We recognize and then examine the impulse and decide if it’s just an impulse or if it’s actually a good idea. And usually, we’re better of just sticking with the task a few more minutes, and we’ll get the job done.

I think I say this every week lately, but we start with Awareness, awareness, awareness!

Another more specific way to fight distraction and stay focused on a project is to zoom in on your task. As in, narrow your focus on the project in front of you.

I’ve been working with a new client for a few months now. Recently we were going through papers from 2015. This happens a lot, no judgement. She moved offices at work and at home and there were a number of things that were bundled up, and because there wasn’t anything truly pressing or important in there, they just kind of got shuffled aside. We came across a to-do list from years ago. She read it and then laughed and shared it with me, her organizer. And it says at the top, “declutter”.

A great idea and to-do and intention, but it’s just word on a piece of paper at that point.

My suggestion would be to get more specific on what “declutter” entails, or what “get organized” looks like. If we don’t get more specific, those things are never going to actually happen.

One way to stay to on task or focused on a project is to make your action ridiculously specific. So instead of just saying get organized or declutter, let’s try this: I want to complete some organizing projects for spring. In the first hour that I have today, I will will review my closet and dresser and my clothes. When I’m done with that, I want to re-pack the items in the furnace room that we’ve set aside for my college student to move into an apartment in the Fall. And after that, I want to review the bottom drawer of my office file cabinet and shred items from more than 4 years ago, now that our taxes are filed.

Right? So all of those items would be on the list and on the task list, but it would be far more specific than get organized or declutter.

And when we can look at big projects in terms of being a series of small projects, it makes it easier for us to stay focused on those projects so we can see results.

For example, let’s say – I’m going to organize the basement this weekend. But what if your basement is huge and a hot mess? You could say instead, “I’m going to organize the shelves in the laundry room, and then I’ll review all the old paint on the floor by the door, and then I will review the towels and toiletries in the downstairs linen closet by the bathroom.”

If we don’t narrow our focus, it’s no wonder we can get distracted. Breaking down big tasks into smaller tasks help us to feel motivated, fight the impulse to get distracted, and helps us to see results. And positive results keep us coming back!

I get the “How TO Stay On Track” question from my coaching clients as well, and some of the strategies are the same!

My coaching client may say “I want to get organized”, and I will say – awesome! But let’s get specific. What does that look like? What results do you seek? What are actions you can take every day, and how can I support you in taking them?

ZOOOOMing in, narrowing in, focusing in to stay motivated:
Does getting organized mean getting more done in your day? Switching your work and bill paying over digital and online? Figuring out your family’s schedule for the summer? Planning a trip and figuring out what that looks like for you and your family? Getting a handle on your health and wellness? Organizing the physical space in your home, of course?

Yep, we can do that. We can do all of those things, but we can’t just start with a global “OK, I want to get organized”. The first thing that we would ask in a coaching session would be to bring that into what can we accomplish in today’s session? What can we accomplish, you know, in the next 30 minutes that will help you to activate those ideas on your own, you know, in the next week or two before we speak again.

ZOOOOMing in. We can do lots of things, but we have to bring it in and we have to get specific. Because that will help us to stay motivated and anchored to the work.

When we get specific and break things down into smaller bits, it means we actually start to feel some accomplishment as we complete those smaller bits. We can track progress, we can see improvements. We can remind ourselves of our progress if we get distracted or we get off track. Um, all of those things, uh, are, again, tools to help us to stay on track, and if we get distracted, to get back on track as well.

And we can break the distraction habit and use these strategies to get back on track. Because distractions will come! But we’re bigger and better than our distractions.

“My Tree Has Leaves!” What Do You Need, To Thrive?

“My tree has leaves!”

I stood in my dining room this morning and exclaimed this excitedly out loud to absolutely no one.

I was drinking my coffee and gazing out my newly washed (over the weekend) front windows and admiring the sunshine and realized my new little tree has leaves! This is noteworthy, trust me.

You see, we had a tree in front of our house for many years. He was so beautiful in the Fall that people would stop and ask if they could pick up some of his leaves because they were so brilliantly colored.

And then, after one of those years with blight or borers, he wasn’t doing so well. We did what we could to help him out for a few years, fertilizer and extra water, etc., but his days were numbered, and eventually our village’s arborist said the tree needed to go before the tree hurt someone or someone’s car if he fell over, or infected other trees.

So we had the tree cut down. We liked having a tree in the front yard, though, so the next Spring we had another tree planted. This new tree had two seasons to thrive, but he never did. The second season, I think he had one leaf. Just one. Sadly, he, too, had to go.

We were assured that our yard and the placement and the type of tree were not the problems, that more likely that particular sapling wasn’t healthy. Fast forward to last Fall when we had another tree installed. Hope springs eternal, right? And since he was installed in the Fall after leaves fell, we had no way of knowing if he was healthy or not. But he is! And now that Spring is here, he has leaves! Now you know why I was rejoicing!

I heard a statement many months ago and it has stuck with me. It was a Facebook reel or tik-tok, and I don’t remember who said it, so if you know and can tell me, I will cite it appropriately. Here’s the quote – “Seeds aren’t lazy and neither are you.”

Meaning, if a seed doesn’t grow, we don’t say the seed is lazy. No one tells the seeds they are lazy. And if you aren’t flourishing, it’s probably not because you’re lazy. Seeds aren’t lazy and neither are you.

What is more likely is that the seed and you don’t have what is needed to thrive.

Like my original tree or my first little sapling. After my original tree was weakened, we tried to support him but he was too far gone. And my first little sapling – well, I have no idea why he didn’t thrive but we were assured that the environment we provided would support a sapling, just not that one apparently.

We can ask what a tree needs – a hospitable environment, the right climate, sunshine, water, opportunity. And patience. And then we step back and let it grow.

Sometimes, a plant can receive too much care. Yes, that is a possibility. Metaphorically and actually.

A couple summers ago, I had what I thought were fruit flies. Except – we don’t leave fruit or any other food out on the counter. And the fruit fly solutions according to the internet, like vinegar and dish soap in a jar or the cool ultraviolet fan thing I bought on Amazon, did not work. And the fruit flies were on my houseplants. So after a little more googling, I determined that the reason the anti-fruit fly solutions weren’t working was because what I thought were fruit flies were fungus gnats. Which I feel sound monumentally more disgusting. But, I digress.

The solution to the fungus gnats, by the way, was to water my plants less and also use a peppermint spray from Amazon that cleared up the gnats in a week. It turns out, you CAN care too much. I was apparently overwatering. I cared a little too much.

Taking the metaphorical leap, often we need to adjust our supports or environment to help us grow. Sometimes we don’t have what we need to thrive, either not enough or too much! And sometimes we just aren’t in the right situation.

Awareness. Awareness. Awareness.

For us to flourish, we may need to take a moment or some time to review where we are, what we need, what we don’t need, and how we will know we are flourishing. But what do we do with that statement? I always want to recommend actionable steps that we can apply this week, or whatever week you are listening to this episode!

Sticking with the plant theme, I will share that I am a joyous but indifferent gardener. I love to plant veggies and herbs and to care for them outside in the summer. I like the “getting my hands in the dirt” and “puttering in the garden” parts of gardening, they are fun and relaxing to me. I also love the “using fresh veggies and herbs from the garden in my cooking” part, I find that fun, too, and it supports my desire to eat healthy and well.

It seems that in my garden and in life, we can walk through the process for a better yield, whether that is tomatoes or priorities or productivity or whatever it is we’re looking to improve! And as I write this article, I realized that last week’s PACT goals article could have been all about gardening, too – the process and not a once-and-done event!

To review, PACT goals stand for: Purpose; Action; Continuous; and Trackable.

Let’s start with our Purpose. For example, I can say “I want to be a better gardener.” And in this example, “better” means more yield per plants.

Next, I need to determine my Actions. I can educate myself by talking to other gardeners (who actually know what they are doing!), reading books or reading up on-line. Once I know more, I could choose to plant dozens of types of vegetables this summer and hope that some of them work out. OR, I could narrow in on fewer types of vegetables and get better at those specifically. Given my small back yard, I will choose to focus on a few types of vegetables and get better at those specifically. For example, I love growing (and eating!) tomatoes but my plants didn’t produce much of anything last year. So I need to learn and take new actions!

Once I know more, I can decide and then act to water more often or less, provide more sun or less, more or less pruning, etc. I can pay attention to what other inputs or supports I can use to improve my outputs. I always use physical supports like a tomato cage, because sometimes we all need more support!

Continuous care is required for plant success. Once I know what actions to take, I need to be consistent with taking them! I will add morning gardening into my summer morning routine, to water and tend. And I will be ready to observe and adjust my regular activities, too, based on progress. And I can track the progress, like plant height, growth, number of flowers (that will turn into tomatoes later), and yield at the end of the season, to learn from the process.

Well-intentioned care, not too much and not too little, and a supportive environment will help my little sapling and my garden grow this summer. Goal setting, and PACT goals specifically, can help us flourish by determining the right supports for us and what we want to achieve, the routine and habits around implementing those supports, and how to make adjustments to be successful.

I took a walk last evening, and I noticed the two trees in front of a neighbors house have the same red-brown leaves my little leafy sapling has (I believe he is a maple). These two trees tall and full and gracious, sharing their shade and beauty with the neighborhood. That is what I want for my little tree and, metaphorically, what I want for you as well. Have a great week!

PACT: A Different Way To Set Goals

It’s a new quarter, a new season. Today, and any day, really, is a great day to check in with your progress towards your goals.

And I want to have a new and different conversation about goals today because I have a cool new concept to share!

I had to chuckle – on this morning’s accountability call, I mentioned to my partner that I was writing an article about PACT goals for today’s podcast. And… I admitted that I started it two weeks ago, and I didn’t get it done in time to record last week. Because I had a million other things to do last Monday (like, for REAL!).

Irony? That I didn’t meet a goal to write about goals because I couldn’t / didn’t dedicate the time to get it done? Yes, I think so.

As I set my goals for Q2 in April, I glanced at my goals for Q1 of 2024, and some were “once-and-done’s”. 

  • Complete the surgical procedure on my nose – done.  (Focus Area Health and Wellness)
  • Lent and Easter, liturgically with my parish and my choir – done! (Focus Area Service)
  • Attend a specific concert on March 29  – done (and it was awesome). (Focus Area Personal / Supporting Independent Art)

However, some of the goals require more of a process, and I have goals from Q1 that migrated to Q2:

  • Make progress towards coaching certification by recording coaching clients for an upcoming deadline.
  • Make progress on a major project I am working on for NAPO, the National Association of Productivity and Organizing Professionals.
  • Attend 12 live music / independent artist concerts in 2024 (one a month).

And I would guess, you have a similar blend of once-and-done goals and also progress goals. In past articles and podcase episodes, we have talked about SMART goals, and I LOVE a good SMART Goal!  A SMART goal is:

  • Specific,
  • Measurable,
  • Attainable,
  • Relevant and
  • Time Specific

For example, here’s a SMART goal:

“I will publish new blog articles and podcast content every week this quarter until I reach 500 posts by June 1, in celebration of my company’s 21st anniversary in June.” This is specific, measurable, attainable, relevant and has a time frame attached.

Now, how will I accomplish this goal? This is NOT a once-and-done goal or event since it will take consistent effort for the next 7 weeks to accomplish.

Last Spring, I wrote an article and recorded a podcast Episode about Metrics. 

Metrics In The Dentist Chair!

Metrics are quantifiable items we can measure, to determine progress. Achieving our goal is amazing!  Success is grand, for sure. But it is also an event.  It is a snapshot moment – goal achieved!  Done!  But more often, the work continues.

To make the goals and the work happen, from day to day, we need to bring the waypoints closer in.  We need manageable portions to bite off on a daily or weekly basis in addition to that one big goal we will accomplish at the end of a predetermined amount of time.

Enter – PACT goals. PACT goals are the tool within a tool, the intentional and incremental goals within a big, lofty SMART goal. Per Julie Simpson on Hire.com, “What are PACT Goals? The Lesser-Known Technique to Set Smarter Goals”, PACT “is a goal-setting technique that focuses on output rather than the outcome”.

PACT stands for

  • Purpose,
  • Actions,
  • Continuous and
  • Trackable.

It seems then, that often, the journey is the point.

Sometimes we need to set PACT goals to give us the support to meet our SMART goals. And sometimes we need to use PACT goals to create better habits for forever.

Let’s break this down! Purpose. Actions. Continuous and Trackable. I like the idea of continuous movement towards our goals. Let’s use my Publication Goal above as an example.

The question of “Purpose” is important for setting goals. We want to know that we are achieving what we want to achieve. That just makes sense. We want to know our purpose and we want to be purposeful (think “intentional”). And once we figure out what we are awesome at and what we are meant to do in life, as in what we want to do intentionally with our time in small and large pieces, then that’s our purpose.

When we set purposeful goals, we want to know that what we’re seeking to achieve aligns with who we are, what we want in life, etc.. And publishing high quality and supportive content for my community definitely aligns with my professional goals.

At a class last week, I heard the nicest feedback! A participant said ” You bring such positive energy!”. Yep, that’s the plan! And when it comes to our goals, we want to be purposeful, we want to be intentional, and to know that the goal that we are setting fits into the context of who we are and what we want in life.

And since success towards my publishing goal is not something I can just knock out the day before my June 1 deadline, I need to be intentional on how I spend my time in the next 7 weeks. I need to PURPOSEFUL in my actions.

And, on to Action! Action, because we’re talking about goal setting here, right? We’re talking about making progress. We’re talking about moving forward. All of those words are active words.

Progress requires action almost all the time. What are the actions that we need to take to move us towards our PACT goals? Working towards the publication goal, my actions have included in the last week spending 30 minutes each day on the project:

  • Review my voice memos on my phone, rename them and send them as an attachment to my email.
  • Upload to the transcription service that I use and have all the unpublished memos transcribed.
  • Match up all the voice memos / transcriptions with my list of published articles and podcast topics, and delete any duplicates.
  • Add the unpublished topics to my editorial content calendar.

And now that I know what I want to write about and publish, I will carve out an hour on the calendar 3 – 4 days a week for writing / editing.

And, since PACT goals need to be trackable, every one of those steps I listed above is trackable with metrics. I went from 30 voice memos down to 10. I went from 45 transcriptions down to 11. I increased, after deleting many duplicate topics, from 20 to 35 topics on my editorial calendar. And now I can track “writing minutes” weekly as progress towards the goal. Action.

Next up, and forever – Continuous.

Purpose and Actions are easy to see, but I think what sets PACT goals apart are the Continuous and Trackable aspects.

Let’s talk about continuous and trackable. Using as an example, my goal of publication by June 1. I’ve set my intentions, I have determined my actions. Now I need to do them! What would continuous progress look like towards my goal look like? I can determine that, and then make the progress towards that goal. And beyond, of course, because I have a waypoint, a milestone in mind, but I certainly won’t stop writing after the June 1 deadline.

I need to take action every day or multiple times a week. Continuous might not mean every minute of every day, but it certainly will mean regular consistent, continuous progress towards the goal.

Perhaps a wellness goal is a good example, too – 30 minutes of cardio 5 times a week is purposeful, continuous and trackable action, and a habit that will help you for life. As I mentioned earlier, sometimes the journey is the point.

Finally, let’s talk “Trackable”.

How do we make progress happen? How do we measure progress and not just “I’m feeling better about the process” or “I am less stressed with writing”, or “I am having more fun”.

“Progress” is sometimes difficult to quantify. But when we determine our purpose and actions, and the interval which makes them continuous, we can track progress. In my example, I can track articles published, words written, minutes or hours worth of writing or editing, engagement with my readers by number of likes or shares, etc. These are trackable items. Which also means, I can track improvements from week to week by paying attention to trends in the tracking.

How far have you come? What have you accomplished so far? Reviewing your tracking, what can you do to improve the process?

In addition to catching up on my writing process, which is what my actions in the past week were about, I can also track my progress moving forward. I have re-set my content process and will continue with these new strategies for a few weeks. And then I can look and see if my output has improved over that time. If it has – yeah! If it has not, I probably need to review and adjust my strategies.

To Review:

Setting PACT goals is a strategy that focuses on the process and not just the end product. We can use PACT goals with SMART goals, as the support to accomplish our SMART goals. OR we can use PACT goals as a method of continuous improvement. PACT stands for Purpose, Action, Continuous and Trackable, and can be used to help us focus on the process of progress and not just the event of achieving a goal.

I hope you found this helpful. If you would like to comment, please share with me on social media or drop me an email at colleen@peaceofmindpo.com, or drop me a DM on one of my social media platforms. I can’t wait to hear about how PACT goals helped you move forward.

Take Your Accountant’s Advice (or mine)

I’m writing this on Tax Day, April 15, 2024.

Did you know? I have two accountants in my life, my husband and now my oldest son.

We all have our strengths, and these two are very organized about a lot of things and especially around helping people with their taxes.  It’s funny to me, neither my husband nor my son are in tax accounting for their job, but they both help friends and family members this time of year.

And, in keeping with last week’s topic of deadlines, I will be very happy for them both when the tax deadline has passed and they can get back to a more regular schedule!

At dinner last night, I asked Greg that if he was on this week’s podcast,  what would he want you all to know? So here we go: a collaboration between my accountant, the most organized person I know when it comes to money, and me, your certified professional organizer.  Maybe some day I will get him on the podcast!

  • First up, he and I both recommend that you create a couple of file folders this week.
    • Name one 2024 Taxes, or 2024 Supporting Tax Documents or something like that.
    • Start another one called 2024 Paid Bills.
    • The 2024 Supporting Tax Documents is a waiting receptacle for anything that comes along that you need to keep for next year’s tax time.  During the year, we might receive, for example, thank you letters or receipts for charitable donations, and you can just drop those in the waiting file. In addition, you now will have a safe place to keep your 2024 tax documents when they start to arrive the end of January, 2025.
    • The 2024 Paid Bills file is for for just that – Paid Bills in 2024.  If you still receive paper bills and if you keep them after they are paid, drop them in there as the year progresses.  We don’t really need to keep them in separate folders. I mean – how often do you go back and look at them anyway?
    • These first two files need to be kept close at hand.
  • Next up, make a folder for your filed 2023 taxes, if you have them in paper form.  This file does not need to kept so close at hand, but it certainly needs to be kept.  In the safe? Bottom file drawer?  Or digitally, save them on your computer and back them up on your external hard drive or the cloud.
  • If you really want to do next year’s you a a solid, make a note of what documentation you required for your 2023 tax filing – W2s, 1099’s, interest statements from investments, etc..
    • Let’s face it, our financial life – at least the accounts, not necessarily the amounts – don’t vary too much from year to year.
    • So, 2023’s filed tax return is going to be a great place to get ready for your 2024 filing in 2025.
  • Ok, now here is the real tax advice:
    • Here is the other thing I want you to do for future you.
      • Go to your calendar on your phone, on your to-do list, in your paper calendar for 2024 on the last page that is for planning for 2025.
        • On February 1, 2025, make yourself an appointment on your calendar to check out your 2024 Supporting Tax Documents file. Look at whatever information has accumulated in there from this current year. Look at the list in there that you made for what end of year statements, wage information, etc. that you’re waiting for and start keeping an eye out for it.
        • Also on February 1, 2025, put a date on the calendar to do your taxes or to go and meet with your accountant.
  • Finally, learn from your 2023 tax experience.
    • Are you getting a tax refund?
      • Cool. That works.
      • Some people intentionally use their taxes and tax refund as a savings account.
    • Do you owe taxes?
      • Less cool, I know. But it means you brought home more pay during the year.
      • And some people just expect that they will owe taxes and plan accordingly.
    • If you would like to adjust the taxes that get taken out of your pay during the year, to also then adjust your tax refund or your tax bill, you can do that.  Adjust your withholdings with your HR department, if you have one, or send in quarterly tax payments.
    • And here is a public service announcement: if your accountant gives you suggestions on how to make the tax process go easier next time, please listen to them and take action. They are our experts and we need to heed their advice.
      • For example, I have some homework to do. I need to make changes about how I note things in Quicken, because apparently my accountant and I have vastly different definitions about what constitutes as “Owners Equity”. My accountant is honest and patient, even when I was confused. But we’ll get there.

Don’t scramble, don’t procrastinate.  Give yourself the gift of calm competence in 2025.

Time Management Is Stress Management

Have I mentioned? I have this great opportunity multiple times a year.  I teach time and stress management to students in the Highway Construction Careers Training Program, or HCCTP, at two different community colleges in the area.

Let me trace it back. Here’s a reminder that we never know how far our ripples will reach. I owe this opportunity to connections that I made in a professional speaker’s group over 10 years ago now.

And I have to laugh, because there’s so many people that I’m still connected with to this day through that speaker’s group, even though the group disbanded a few years ago. Still connections, friends, network partners, whatever you want to call them, that I met in that professional speaking group.  Many industries were represented, what brought us together was professional speaking.

There was a nutritionist, an insurance broker who I’m still friends with today and who also has a podcast on the Broadcast Basement network.  There was a financial planner who does financial planning presentations, and I’m still connected to him to this day. A friend and network partner who interviewed me on her YouTube channel last Spring, Sabrina Schottenhammel, is a massage therapist and professional speaker and wellness advocate.  And a friend and network partner, Alexandra Glumac, is affiliated with South Suburban College and she is why I started teaching this program, long ago and far away!

I teach time and stress management to the HCCTP hosted at South Suburban College, the Oak Forest campus. They have 4 or 5 groups of students through the program every year.  And because of my experience at South Suburban College, I also teach for a similar program at Kankakee Community College. I get to teach awesome groups of people about time management and stress management.   I started to write today’s episode and article content as I parted ways with Class number 32 last week.  I told them I would give them a shout out.  So, hey, Class 32!  It was great to meet you all!

I started teaching this course around Class number 3 or 4. These groups are in class for 12 weeks, and I speak to them on time management and stress management in their first week of class.  That makes a lot of sense, because by being brave and taking on this coursework, they need time and stress management to make their lives work in the midst of this extra busy time.

And I’m going to be completely transparent.  The stress management is more stressful for me. I know that’s weird, but it’s the truth. Time management is productivity, and hey – that is where I live. That is my jam. That’s what I do. Productivity. Yep. Sign me up. I could talk to you for hours about productivity.  And I probably have, over time.

But the 4 hours of stress management content is newer for this group.  I have only done that 3 or 4 times.  And I’m still trying to get the best right combination of content. My goal is to not stress people out with a lot of work while making sure my participants have the tools they need to succeed.  That is my goal for these groups every time I meet them, to give them tools in their life. And I love that!  I have the coolest job.  And I meet the coolest people. Class 32 challenged me. When they found out I had a podcast, they wanted an episode dedicated just to them.

And here we are.  I can absolutely do that.

We tackled both time management and stress management last week.  And here is the secret, right here.  This is what guides my practices. I feel that so many of the practices that we use in time management are also useful for stress management.

When we feel out of control, unproductive, out of sorts, you know, maxed out because we’re always late, or we never feel like we have enough time to do what we need to do or what we want to do. We don’t feel like we’re making time for the people in our lives. We don’t feel like we’re making time for ourselves.  These are all very stressful situations. And did you hear the words that I said in those statements? Time. Time.

Here’s the premise for today.  I will declare that time management is positively and irrevocably entwined with stress management and stress reduction. Making sure that we’re doing right by that is going to help everything else go better.

If we can get clear on what we want to accomplish in the course of our day and then make it happen, yes, it’s a management of time, but that also decreases our stress levels. We can recognize that and we can work with it.

Here is what our agendas looked like.  In our time management workshops, we begin talking about routines and how our routines can support the things that we need to, to make sure our needs are met in a consistent and regular way. And I’ve talked about routines in other episodes.

In class, we discuss sleep hygiene. Sleep hygiene is the routine we have around getting good sleep.  And we know getting good sleep increases overall health and decreases stress.

We watch a couple cheesy videos from early 2000s on productivity, and talk about priorities and planning and goal setting. We look at Priorities and the Eisenhower box, which I know that I have done an episode before about, I’ve always liked that tool. It’s such a great tool. Because knowing we’re working on what is important decreases stress and increases life satisfaction.

In our time together, because these are students in a highway construction careers training program, we talk about project management. I don’t always talk about project management, it’s a very specific need. These folks are going to be working on projects, though, so we take a first glance at project management to get a feel for how they fit into the bigger picture on a project.

Finally, in time management, we talk through procrastination. Because conquering that delay-for-no-good-reason increases productivity and decreases stress.

The next day, in the stress management component, we talked more about routines. We also talked about Maslow’s hierarchy of needs because we need to be able to identify needs so we can ensure they are consistently met. Because otherwise we get stressed! It is stressful when needs are not met. Physical, safety, psychological, esteem, etc. 

This week, I also shared learning styles with this group.   Learning styles were the topic of last week’s episode. I like the stress management content that I wrote because it is all about the person.  The individual.  There were so many really cool aha ah moments.

We were talking about learning styles, and I mentioned that some of us think in pictures, and some of us think in words, and some of us think in commercials or scenes.  That some of us read the words in front of us, and some of us actually sound the words out in our head when we read.

Just knowing that there’s a difference is so important. A lot of our stress management was talking about awareness.  Self-awareness. Awareness of how we are showing up in the moment.  In coaching, awareness is the first goal.

We talked a lot about that in stress management. We talk about physical awareness.  Like physical needs, and also, you know, awareness of where our stress is in our body. For example, if I’m stressed, my face flushes and my shoulders get tense.  If we know what stress feels like, we can identify it more readily and take steps to decrease it for our own wellness.  I really love that, that physical awareness, that physical scanning of ourselves.

Apparently I do it a lot because a couple of my class participants noted “yeah, you do that all the time”.  I didn’t realize anybody else noticed that, but that’s okay.

Along the lines of checking in physically for stress management, we also practiced square breathing both days. Because to be honest, square breathing is a tool I use EVERY DAY.  If you’re not familiar, it’s a breathing technique where we breathe in for 4 beats, hold the breath for 4 breaths, exhale for 4 breaths and hold the exhale for 4 breaths.  That’s it.  Don’t push it, don’t rush it, don’t make it unnatural.  Just focus on your breathing for 5 – 7 cyles of square breathing.  A 90 second vacation.  It’s lovely. 

So, to recap:

It is great to teach these group, and Class 32, it was lovely to meet you.

Time and stress management are related.  If we can get a handle on our time as a limited and valuable resource, if we can do better with our time management, that will absolutely help us with our stress management as well.

When we better manage our routines, priorities, projects, procrastination, goals, bodies and wellness and sleep and breath – stress goes down.

So those are all time management things. But it sounds a lot like stress management to me, too, right? Time management is also stress management.

I’ll never say we can be stress free. And stress isn’t always bad.  Some stress helps us to perform better.  My concern about teaching Stress Management meant that the night before the class, I made sure to check my bag and make sure that I had everything I needed to teach the group today. It was the elevated stress that helped me to be a better teacher today and to work with my group better. That’s good stress.

But long term stress can cause mental and physical problems.  The nagging, long term, you know, heavy weight of stress sometimes that can absolutely cause us trouble. And again, in transparency, I have been in a very stressful season personally and I really need to rev up my self care. So when life gets more stressful, I know it doesn’t make sense, but we actually need to do more to care for ourselves than we normally would because the demands are so much greater on us. And again, I think I need to say that out loud to myself as well.

In stressful times, we need to do more to care for ourselves because the demands are so much greater on our systems, psychological system, physical system, whatever that looks like. Getting good at time management decreases stress. Yes, let’s do that!

How Does Your Brain Work? Learning Styles

Learning Styles: Does This Sound Like You?

  • “I’m more of a visual person.”
  • “I really need to talk some things out.”
  • “If I hear a song once, I remember the words.”
  • “I’m more of a hands-on person.”
  • “If I drive to your house once, I will always remember how to get there.”

Yes, yes and yes!

Today, let’s talk about learning styles. In coaching, we call them processing modalities. I am going to use the terms “learning styles” and “modalities” interchangeably.  Our processing modalities are how OUR brain best deals with information.  These learning styles are part of what makes you you, but they are not character or personality traits. They are the paths your brain uses to process and cement information and turn it into something useful for you.

The most common ones, or at least the ones we will talk about today, are

  • Visual,
  • Auditory,
  • Verbal and
  • Kinesthetic (and relatedly, Tactile).

Simply put, visual processors learn by seeing, auditory learners learn by hearing, verbal learners learn by speaking, and kinesthetic and tactile processors learn by doing.

It is helpful for us to understand that there are learning styles, that everyone is a blend of learning styles – you and me and everyone else that you interact with – and how to support our blend and the blend of the people we interact with.  Knowing you are a blend, and I am a blend, and that every other person in your life is their own blend of learning styles gets us closer to awareness, acceptance and understanding.

An important thing to remember is that you have options. Options on how to support your own learning styles, and options on how to manage yourself with other people whose learning style is different than yours.

When you think of a traditional classroom, consider all the ways the teachers engage multiple learning styles.  We read aloud, or listen to the teacher or other students read aloud, or we may listen to a recording.  We may use our hands and use manipulatives in math, or word cards on our desk in ELA. We write our own notes, we look at things around the room or on the board, we might move around to stations or act out a scene from literature or history.  There are many ways to reinforce learning styles.

We all possess all of the learning styles, but we each our own special blend of strengths.  The styles or modalities show up differently in each of us at times, too. When he was little, I thought one of my sons was being difficult because we didn’t see things the same way.  And the answer is, we absolutely DID NOT see the things the same way.  And, that’s ok. 

When we talked it through, he and I discovered that he is a visual learner and that when I told him to go in and clean his room, he saw everything in his room as one thing, one composite item.  He would get overwhelmed.  It was difficult for him to break down the big composite item into smaller pieces of the room, like making his bed, then putting the laundry on the floor into the hamper and hanging up his baseball cap.  Once we figured out that we literally didn’t see things the same way, we figured out how I could change my language and he could change how he looked at things and then we started to communicate better.

Now that we know that there are learning styles, and that we all have our own strengths in those learning styles, let’s look at how we can use that knowledge to navigate our life.

I will use myself as a case study:

I am strong in multiple modalities, which is quite common.  One of my strengths is auditory learning. I am a really good listener, which serves me well in my role as an organizational coach and musician. And, that can also be a problem because I get stressed out with prolonged or chaotic loud noise. I LOVE and I mean LOVE a good concert, either seated in plushy seats listening to a full orchestra but more so, in a bar listening to one of our favorite bands.  AND, though I love the concert, I’m also somewhat relieved to walk outside in relative quiet to let my brain process all of the awesome new input I just experienced.  Both can be true.

I am also a professional speaker and singer.  Not surprisingly, I am a strong verbal learner. For myself, I know that I benefit from talking through challenges and ideas, and very often I gain awareness when I hear myself say something out loud. And I can get to a point some days that I am talked out.  I am a verbal learner, but I dislike talking on the phone. I would rather speak in person. I am aware of my learning styles, how they show up for me, how to manage me and what tools I can use as I go through my day.

So, let’s look at the specific learning styles.

A visual processor:

  • learns by seeing, or imagining something in their mind;
  • recognizes patterns;
  • appreciates aesthetics; and
  • appreciates visual representations like graphs or pictures.
  • Ways to work as a visual processor:
    • use color to indicate category or priority, in our homes or professional life;
    • use highlighters or fun colors of ink in writing;
    • make a good list or map of things, take pictures of things to help you remember;
    • be purposeful in the physical arrangement of space; and
    • become aware that we are impacted by visual stimuli.
    • For example, to support my visual learning, I request communications in text or email form so that I can refer back to it if I need reminders.
  • Times it can get in the way:
    • one visual learner may want to see everything all the time and doesn’t put things away;
    • another visual learner may get distracted or overwhelmed by seeing everything, and we need to put it away behind a closed door; and
    • for some visual learners, if they don’t see something, it ceases to exist for them.

An auditory learner:

  • learns by listening, hearing and even reading (we often hear the words in our head);
  • remembers things by how they sound, or what they were hearing when they learned it;
  • may hum or talk to themselves or others; and
  • may learn ideas while listening to favorite music, instrumental music, white noise or other noisescapes, or silence, depending on the person.
  • Ways to work with it:
    • learn new material by reading flashcards, directions, stories or assignments out loud;
    • record yourself spelling words or working through new content, and then listen to the recording;
    • use mantras or repeated phrases to reinforce an idea or learning; and
    • listen to podcasts, or use recordings, books on tape, or having test questions read to you out loud to help you study.
  • Times it can get in the way:
    • auditory learners rely heavily on hearing, but can also become overwhelmed with loud, chaotic, off-key or repetitious sounds; and
    • as with all learning styles, age and health can have an impact, for example, our hearing acuity changes with age, so we need to get our hearing checked regularly.

A verbal learner:

  • learns by speaking and expressing themselves, by “talking it out”;
  • is often strong in written communications, too, and reading and writing; and
  • is often strong with auditory learning.
  • Ways to work with it:
    • many of the tools with an auditory learner works with a verbal learner, too, as we are doing the reading of the materials; or
    • learn new material by reading flashcards, directions, stories or assignments out loud;
    • For example, I often “write” my articles while I commute or travel.  I open the Voice Memo app on my Iphone, and record my article, then use a transcription website to turn it into text. And at rehearsal the other night, I used the voice record to text option to send a text for follow up, and this sparked a conversation among my choir members.
  • Times it can get in the way:
    • as I mentioned in my case study, verbal learners can get talked out; and
    • verbal learners may speak too much, disrupting themselves and others.

Kinesthetic and tactile leaners:

  • learn by touching, doing, moving, building or drawing.
  • Kinesthetic learners use major muscle groups and gross motor skills;
  • tactile learners work more with fine motor skills and their hands;
  • learn best when there is some sort of movement involved with the experience;
  • learn by taking things apart and putting them back together; and
  • communicate with your whole body, physically and by touch.
  • Ways to work with it:
    • floor plans, maps;
    • factor in activity, gravitate towards sports or careers that incorporate movement;
    • physically manipulate learning tools like flash cards into categories, topics, etc.;
    • accept gum chewing, fidgeting, tinkering and taking physical breaks;
    • do hands-on activities that involve touching, building, moving, acting or drawing; or
    • offer to be the note taker in a group setting, to use the activity to keep your mind engaged.
  • Times it can get in the way:
    • a K or T learner may struggle if and when they are physically fatigued, injured or sore, or if space does not permit movement;
    • it is difficult to sit still and you may need to take frequent breaks;
    • fidgeting and movement may be mis-construed as lack of focus or impulse control in a traditional class room setting.

I could write forever about learning styles, but this is a good place to start.

Consider the different learning styles mentioned, and reflect on which one or ones resonate with you the most. Consider some of the tips suggested to help you in your day-to-day experiences. And take an active interest in the learning styles of the people around you as well, to foster communication and support!

P.S. I write this with gratitude to Denslow Brown with Coach Approach for Organizers, https://coachapproachtraining.com/, where I first learned about learning styles and processing modalities.

How To Get Back On Track

When naming this article and episode, I tried Catawampus – as in, “when it all goes catawampus”, but my SEO score on my blog did not think that was a good idea. Noted.

I was a guest on the EP podcast episode that dropped last Tuesday, March 12.

We recorded on Monday, March 11th because that is the day I record my episode, too. And I was a guest on the EP Podcast because Chris, my producer, had a family emergency over the weekend with his 18 year old daughter. And she’s fine. Healing well.

And everybody’s fine in my house too. Everybody’s okay. We’ll start with that.

But we talked through, first of all, the situation and that it was crazy for them, I know. And then the question he asked me was, “After the fact, what do you do to pick up the pieces?” You’ve been through this dramatic and potentially traumatic situation and what do you do to get back on track?

In his situation, he has children other than the post-surgical one to take care of. He needs to take care of his daughter while she recovers. Anything he had planned for that day and also for the days to follow obviously just went out the window because, well, that’s what the situation required.

We’re going to do it because it needs done and we’re going to do it because our kids win and because we love them. And guys, I really do love you. So if you’re listening – well, I don’t think my kids listen to my podcast, but some of their friends do. And then we pick up the pieces and get back to normal, get back to work.

Here’s the twist. We recorded at noon on Monday because we usually record at noon on Mondays. We have systems for these things and everything else. I’m still like a week behind. I’d like to get back on track with that personally. That is a leftover from my recent surgery.

My college age son was home for his Spring Break and there was an incident and he lost consciousness in the kitchen. I’ll leave it at that. It was scary. He ended up going to the ER in an ambulance. So, a shout out to the Evergreen Park Fire Department, the EMTs when we called 911 were awesome and competent and kind. They took care of business, they took care of my son, they loaded him up and we went to the hospital.

One thing Chris mentioned on his episode was that his 18 year old was still eligible for the pediatric ER, and if you have to choose, the pediatric ER is a better place for a young person than the regular ER. And I found it surreal that, within 8 hours of having that conversation with him, I found myself in the front seat of an ambulance while they unloaded my 19 year old in the ambulance bay next to the door labeled Pediatric ER at Christ Hospital.

Never, in no imagination of my day could I have foreseen that I would be confirming that information from him within 8 hours of recording that episode. But there we were. And to repeat, he’s fine. My son’s fine. And I have his permission to write about and talk about this. He’s ok.

Let me make the rest of this very long story short. We were there for 24 more hours. We arrived around 7:30 pm Monday. They ran tests and started the admission process at 11 pm. He was finally discharged from the ER at 08:00 pm on Tuesday night, they had not yet found him a bed in 24 hours

When you’re in the ER, you gain perspective. Obviously, other people were having a much worse time of life than we were. My son’s ok.

Simple things. My son was in the ER but he had a room with doors. A lot of people didn’t. He didn’t have a bathroom or a shower, and I didn’t sleep at all because the room is not set up with a chair for a non-patient to sleep in. I never pulled an all-nighter in college, that didn’t happen until I was a parent!

We had family and friends texting and checking in on us, with offers of support and assistance if we needed anything. I am so grateful. And I’m grateful for Greg, my husband, so that we could tag team and I could go home for a few hours of sleep when he came back first thing Tuesday morning because we didn’t want to miss any of the doctors in consultation, etc.

But as Chris mentioned, once the dust settles, right, after all this happens, then what? When you look around your house and you realize that all of the routines that you normally have that support your life were completely abandoned, for a few days. Where do you start? Where?

I’ve talked about emergencies recently. I had a recent surgery as well. Five weeks ago I had surgery on my nose. It was planned. It was February 13, but I had known about it since the end of November. It wasn’t news. It ended up being more complex, more invasive, and I had a lot more downtime and a lot more healing that I needed to do. That was news, but the schedule was already cleared, I had no expectations of myself already. It wasn’t an emergency, it was a hassle. I won’t say it was fun. I’m still not done healing. I still have swelling and follow up appointments. It’s not don, but for the most part, I’m good to go.

But trips to the ER, for your daughter and her appendix, for my son in the ER for 24 hours and a lot of diagnostics to determine what’s going on and what to follow up on. Those are emergencies. They both have had good outcomes so far. I know it could be worse. Oh, my God, do I know it could be worse.

Once the emergency has passed, now what? What do we do to get back on track?

I came home at 830 Tuesday morning after tagging my husband out at the hospital, having not slept for 27 hours. I set up my phone and apple watch to charge, took a shower, brushed my teeth, had a really big glass of water and slept for 2 hours. Then I got up and I made sure things were taken care of, sent a few emails, took a shower, got dressed, grabbed a protein shake for the road and headed back up to the hospital.

On Tuesday night, when we were finally discharged, we asked the question again.

First things first: We’re headed home, do we need to eat? We can pick up something on the way.
All right, I’m going to drop you guys off, and go to the pharmacy for my son’s prescriptions.

Anything we need grocery wise? No? Okay. We just had people over, so we have a full fridge of food.

Everybody was comfortable and happy.

Next, Laundry. Unpack the bag from the hospital Yes, let’s start a load of laundry.

Next, let’s make sure maintenance has been occurring. Load the dishwasher, bring in the mail, make sure that there’s no packages out front.

None of this new. I think that was the point that I made when I talked to with Chris on his podcast. We don’t do new stuff. We take a minute and remember what our routines are. And routines are there to help us make sure that our needs are being consistently met. That’s what routines do for us. And so first things first, we’re to check in on the needs. Needs are food, clothing, shelter, safety, warmth. Right? Basic bottom level of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs?

Check in on those, make sure that all of those are functioning. Food, clothing, shelter, safety, warmth. Once we take care of those needs, then we can move up the list.

Now, when we got home from the hospital, finally, it was after 08:00 on Tuesday night after very little sleep. At that point, another need, very rapidly was becoming sleep. I could have tried to do more, but it wouldn’t have worked. Sleep is also a need, and that was the answer. Meeting needs consistently so that everybody can continue to function in survival. I’d love to get into optimal thriving mode. But first things first is survival. Food, clothing, shelter, safety, warmth, right? I mean, that’s where we got to start.

So, when in doubt, that’s where we spend our first hours of attention, is making sure that those needs are met for the moment. In the moment. Then, how to continue to meet those needs for the next couple of hours and then days. We start with needs, we start small, we start with what is right in front of us. We don’t need to do the big stuff right now.

So to recap: First things first. Having routines, very helpful routines, helped me to grab what I needed to grab, throw it all in my backpack (which is my purse) that is always sitting in the same place and run out the door with the ambulance people. Anybody I need to contact was already programmed in my phone. All of my apps are up to date. Everything is up to date. My wallet has our insurance card and has all of John’s information, all of my son’s information.

There are things that maintenance, that routines absolutely provided. My son is otherwise in good health. I’m in good health. Maintaining good health eliminates helped rule out some potential problems because he’s in otherwise good health.

When emergencies happen, that’s it. That is where you need to be. Everything else needed to fall away. With my son is the only place I need to be. The rest of life will all be waiting for me when I get back, for better or for worse.

But that’s the answer. So we create routines because in the heat of it, in the heart of it, in crazy times, we need to have those structures in place to keep things going. So we have habits around needs, so those needs continue to be consistently met. And to give us the habits, the reminders of how to get back to some semblance of normal when our days haven’t necessarily looked normal.

Start with needs. Start with what is right in front of you. Don’t create something new, but get back to your routines. And that, my friends, is how to get back on track.