This is not what I had planned to write about this week, but readers asked for More! when I admitted in last week’s newsletter that I had and also conquered my tendency for “Just One More Thing!”.
You know, “Just One More Thing!”? As in … we need to leave in 5 minutes, of course I have time to write 3 emails, or start a load of laundry, or make one more phone call.
Perhaps you have this tendency, too? It is well intentioned. For me, I just wanted to get as much done as I could so I would wring productivity out of every last SECOND of my day. Except, this practice is not very productive and it occasionally tripped me up. It might only impact me or you, but the more complicated our schedules become, the more likely this habit is to impact others negatively as well.
20 years ago, I often fell into this flawed thinking, and this judgement error was exacerbated by the fact that I was the mother of small children. Even if I thought I had an extra 5 minutes, we all know how quickly those can pass as we assemble socks or shoes or backpacks for school. And I was also setting a bad example, pushing-pushing-pushing the deadline for leaving on-time to arrive on-time. (*You could swap out child references with co-workers in the above sentence and draw the same conclusions.)
What about leaving for work or for home or anywhere else you need to get to on time? “Just One More Thing” only works when everything else works exactly as planned. And we also all know that day-to-day life rarely works exactly as planned. There is a last minute search for keys or phone, slow elevators, traffic or bad weather, and as one thing leads to another, we find ourselves rushing around, arriving late and out of sorts.
I recognized and began to remedy my issue of “Just One More Thing” when I worked downtown and commuted on the train. If I drove, it didn’t matter if I left my office a few minutes late. I could just make it up on the drive or get home a few minutes late. No biggee. BUT… if I didn’t leave my office at 4:55 pm, I would not be on the Blue Line Platform in time to catch the EL train to the Metra station to get on the train that got me home by 6:05. Trains don’t care about “Just One More Thing”. Instead, I would have to take the next train that arrived half an hour later and made more stops. And that made a BIG difference.
WHY should you break the “Just One More Thing” Habit?
Why? Because you’re not a jerk. “Wait, Coll, how could ‘Just One More Thing’ make me a jerk?” Late for meetings, drop-offs or pick-ups? And what if you’re the one who called the meeting?! Unreliable? Missed deadlines?
Why? Because you respect yourself. Last week, a friend (you know who you are!) mentioned the words “self-sabotage” when she commented on my “Just One More Thing” admission. Ouch. Hard truth, but truth nonetheless. We have to respect our own boundaries. And we can’t expect others to respect our boundaries if we do not.
Why? Because there is value in “calm”. Or “On-time”, or reliable or consistent, or having time to say Hi to a friend or sitting in your favorite seat at the meeting because you didn’t succumb to “Just One More Thing”. (Find your why and remind yourself!)
Here’s How to Break the “Just One More Thing Habit”:
Realistic Time Estimates: Know how long tasks take. If you have 10 minutes, what can you really accomplish in that time? Two 5 minute tasks or one 10 minute task and nothing more. Nothing more than 10 minutes in 10 minutes! OR… one short task and take a few minutes for a deep breath and an early start. (I know we just talked about realistic time estimates in a recent article, but it bears repeating!)
To Do Lists: Keep a to-do list, so your tasks and ideas are reliably collected and you don’t have to worry so much about JUST ONE MORE THING before you leave the house, go to your meeting, etc. With a reliable list, you can pick up where you left off.
If you really only have 5 minutes right now, “send out the ships” to others first. My accountability partner uses the term “sending out ships” to describe those communications that require a reply or action from others.
I know my pace for work. I do not know, or presume to know, other people’s pace for work. Therefore, I try to send out requests or messages to others ASAP to give time to answer. Then I make a note of when I sent the message or request, when I need to follow up, tack on a great bit WAIT and then move that task to that future time or date. As I write about sending out ships, it feels like a matter of prioritizing, and perhaps it is. But this strategy helps me communicate more effectively and focus in on what really needs to be said or done. Which leads me to….
Prioritize. When we have limited time to complete a long list of tasks, we have to identify what has to get done right now and what can wait. Don’t get distracted by shiny things or loud requests. (Loud and shiny don’t make a task important.)
Know Your Absolute Deadline, and add time in from there. Check your traffic app for commute time, check the weather for possible storms, know your route and a few alternatives. No matter how well intentioned we are, we cannot travel back in time. (Trust me, I’ve tried.)
Give Yourself Grace, as you figure this out. For goodness sake, be as kind to you as you are to others and cut yourself some slack. Forgiving yourself ahead of time for NOT doing “Just One More Thing” is a good place to start!