Tag: organizing with kids

Kids and Organizing and Room Cleaning, Oh My!

Kids and Organizing and Room Cleaning have come up in many conversations lately, so obviously there’s a need for kids to organize and clean their space.  But we have to remember that very often, our kids need to learn how to do these things before we can expect them to just “go clean their rooms” when asked.

A few years ago, I helped a man organize his office, and he told me that I was the first person who hadn’t yelled at him to get organized.  His childhood home was not organized, and his frustrated mom would tell the kids to go clean their rooms without teaching the kids what that actually meant.  He had never learned how to clean or organize, and his own family got frustrated with him, too.

As children, we learn to speak, walk and eat on our own.  We learn to socialize and share and grow.  We learn how to study, play music or perhaps play a sport.  We learn to brush our teeth, cook a meal, mow the grass or sew a button.  But we’re not always taught how to organize, or to clean our room.  Some of us are born organized, but others have to learn to organize, and luckily, it is a learnable skill, just like anything else.  But we still have to be taught, or pick up the skills along the way.

Even though it is so much quicker and easier to just clean the room yourself, take the time to Teach your Children how to Organize and Clean their room.  Talk about why we need to clean and organize (saves time, saves money, inspires trust, boosts self confidence and mood, even if we don’t think it does).   Teach and model and encourage.
  • If you’re going to talk the talk, you had better walk the walk.  Make your own bed, pick up dirty laundry, put away clean laundry,  take out your trash.
  • Give every room the tools to clean and organize: a laundry hamper and a trash can.  Every room needs both, so clutter is less likely to pile up.
  • Have everyone start with the basics, every day.  Make the bed, pick up dirty laundry, and put away clean clothes.  EVERY DAY.
  • Create a few rules for everyone to obey, like No Food In the Bedrooms.  Simple, straightforward, and it will save lots of mess later!
  • Celebrate and corral treasures (defined here as objects that we don’t understand, but our child completely adores).  Priceless art, plastic action figures, trophies, plastic jewelry or a gum wrapper from a birthday party.  Some kids (and adults) value EVERYTHING and then clutter piles up.  Install a couple shelves for treasures, dedicated to for those loved objects. Then explain that once the shelves are full, something has to leave the shelf before a new item is added.  Or create a treasure box, and let the same rule apply.  Don’t edit the shelf or bin for your child, but stick to the rule and contain the “treasures”.
  • Cultivate the habit of periodic purges. For example, the Back to School Clothes Review every August.  Or, when our boys were younger, we would go all review toys and books every Fall in prep for the holidays and birthdays, tossing any that were broken, and donating any that were either “too young” for them, or that they just didn’t play with.  (Knowing new toys were coming made it easier for the kids to purge the old stuff).
  • Give your kids a process.  This is on a sign in my sons’ room:
    How to Clean Your Room (Do all of these in this order):
    • Hang up towel
    • Fold blankets
    • Straighten up bed
    • Pick up dirty laundry and hangers, put all in the hamper
    • Put away clean laundry
    • Close dresser drawers completely
    • Put away hats/bags / belts, etc. in appropriate places
    • Put away books on shelf – actually put them away
    • Tidy up surfaces on desk, dresser, etc.
    • Now we can dust, vacuum and take out the trash.
Take some time now to teach others how to clean and organize their space, and reap the benefits for life!

As Maggie Says, Now There’s More Room to Dance!

Last week, I talked to two clients about productivity and time management.  Both are struggling to get more done, personally and professionally.  These high-performing individuals, Bob and Sue, have systems in place to take care of their personal and professional tasks.  But they, and we, often get distracted from maintaining those systems.

Sue, one of these two wonderful, productive and hard-working people, went so far as to say she was “lazy’.

I have a problem with the word ‘lazy’. Actually, it makes me cringe.  I never assume a person is lazy, but I think we all lack motivation, focus or a plan sometimes.  And I try to be more positive.  No, dear client and dear readers, you’re not lazy.  What is more likely is that life got in the way, as it often does, of being productive.  So let’s talk MAINTENANCE!!!

We have systems, we know what we “should” do, to move ourselves and our homes and our careers forward.  But we often get caught up in survival mode, and forget about taking a little time once or twice a day or week, to get back to the small tasks that helps us maintain order in our lives.  Bob has great time management tools that he’s used successfully (time blocking, face to face communications, email strategies), but he has fallen away from using them with some office changes this month.  Re-committing to proven, effective strategies is a lot easier than coming up with new strategies!

I got a wonderful email today from Sue about her maintenance efforts over the weekend with her family.  She said I could quote her, and since she says it best, I will!

“’Maintenance isn’t happening’ is a kind way of saying we’re lazy.  It’s true, and we’re teaching the kids bad habits by our example.  My new mindset is to keep removing the clutter, even if it’s in little steps.

Yesterday…I set a timer and cleaned for about 1.5 hours, giving us enough time to get ready for church and not be late.  After Mass we played in the snow, and then I cleaned the living room.  I met family for dinner around 3 pm, then came home and cleaned the dining room.  Hubby got rid of stuff while I was gone and Maggie worked at her stuff too.  Little pieces of cleaning made ALL the difference in my world yesterday.  Instead of complaining, I worked the problem until it was finished.  … We still need systems in a few areas, but there were more pressing jobs that needed done first, like getting cleaned up and cleared out so that we can start fresh habits from clean and organized spaces. 

I’ve decided to get to work, with Maggie working at my side.  Hubby tackles 1 or 2 small jobs before he goes to work each day because I know that works for him.  Weeknights are full with full time work, dinner and homework, so weekends work best for me for Maintenance.  I really took to heart your comments about finding out what day / time works best to deal with household maintenance chores and embrace it.  It’s ok to not go gang-busters during the week, but maintenance must be done during the time that’s been assigned to it.

You certainly got me rethinking my shredding/recycling locations while I was cleaning/de-cluttering my first floor.  Plus, after we took out the leaves in the dining room and put away the extra chairs, it was amazing at how much larger the space was…even Maggie noticed and said it was more room for her to dance in. 

 We just did some redecorating… the next job is getting some new area rugs, but the best part is seeing the space when it’s clean and clutter free with enough room for us to dance.  It’s so calming when it’s like that and because I know this, I know it’s up to all of us to keep it that way.  Doing even little things each day with help us all live better, less stressful lives.”  (Thanks, S!!!)

Indeed.

Working with a client yesterday, I mentioned this week’s blog topic.  We had just cleared out her large coat closet and entry way, and restored order.  We hung up things that had fallen, set aside things to be dropped off with errands and donations, and generally maintained the organization we had established on previous visits.  We agreed that she knew what she “should” do, but had just fallen behind on actually doing it.  We cleared clutter, and indeed, Maggie, Now There is More Room To Dance!

More SnowDay Organizing Projects – Kids can Help, and Have Fun, too!

Oh, for goodness sake, another snow day.  Well actually, a Cold Day.  Bitter wind chills, blizzard force winds and new snow overnight. I understand the caution, truly I do.  So, despite having an 18- day Christmas break, and a three-day weekend last weekend, here we are with more days all together in the house.

If you, like me, are wondering how to get a few things done and still have fun with your kids, can I suggest a few organizing projects? The following projects are useful, quick, kid-friendly and should require no new items to be purchased, since it’s too cold to leave the house.

Clean out your pantry / cabinets: 

Little kids can help pull everything out, and sort like items with like (for example, even a 3-year-old can sort cans of different types of veggies by the picture on the front).  Have school-age kids who can read help you determine expiration dates, and toss all the expired or stale stuff.   Talk about service and charity with your kids, and set aside a bag of items to donate to your local food pantry.

Bake some cookies with the random bits of whatever you may find (in my cabinets, 3 bags of pretzels, a partial bag of white chocolate chips and some left over candy canes are inspiring creativity in me!).  Make a large pot of soup with what you find, and leave it simmering on the stove all day to humidify the air and make the house smell good.  You could really get creative, and have your kids plan this week’s menu with you, based on the current contents of your kitchen.

Clean out under your sinks. 

Bathroom?  Kitchen?  Laundry room?  The process is the same, regardless of what room you are working in!

Pull everything out, wipe everything down.  Combine partial bottles of similar items (I often find 4 or more partial bottles of dish soap, body wash or shampoo under client sinks!).  Use containers you have on hand (kitchen storage containers or plastic baskets) to corral small items and keep them from getting lost.

Consider how many of certain items you really need.  Kitchen sink – how many plastic shopping bags?  Bathroom – how many partial / sample / hotel bottles of anything?  Yep, combine and then recycle.

Clean out the Freezer:  Here’s a link to the project:  June, 2011 Kid Convenience And Nutrition in My Clean Freezer!

     The kids can help, though you may want to be the one pulling everything out so little hands don’t freeze!  Everyone can help sort, you can purge or plan the next meal based on what you find.  I want to make my own bread crumbs, and I know there are some neglected ends of bread loaves I can start with!

Review and Purge the bookshelves:

We just did this a few days ago and it’s a great project to do with your kids.

Put all the books together (meaning, collect them from around the room / house if necessary), and sort what you have.  Consider your child’s reading levels, and purge the books that are too young for them (keep some treasured keepsakes, of course, but not too many).  We have some more shelves to review, but we already have a bag of books set aside for our young cousins, and one bag to donate to the local library.

Put Things AWAY.

Have you been waiting for the right time to finally put xxxx, yyyyy or zzzz way?  Well, guess what?  Today is that day.  Per my friends on Facebook, many of you may have the following things to put away:

  • Recycling
  • Business cards and Christmas greeting card envelopes, to update your contact list
  • Socks to finally get matched up
  • Home / personal paper filing, recipes and paperwork
  • The last few Christmas decorations that you took down last weekend
  • DVDs / Wii games to put back in cases
  • Photos!  Every seems to have photos to print / use / put away / scrapbook / file
  • Shoe clutter by the back door, as well as weeks worth of hats / gloves / sweatshirts / etc.
  • Business receipts to file
  • Cords and connectors
  • Kitchen counter clutter
  • craft items of every description!

Today is that day!  Set a timer, and spend half an hour just putting stuff AWAY!  OR longer – again, with another snow day, you all have the time!

So, stay warm, relax and hang out in your jammies, if you’d like.  And spend a little time creating order in your home with your family members.  Today is the day!

Snow Day? Tackle An Organizing Project with Your Kids!

Organizing with your kids can be a great experience, employing their enthusiasm and energy to benefit them and the whole family.  ImageBut kids don’t always know what to do with their energy, or how to organize.

Recently, a client asked for suggestions on tackling a really big project: organizing her large unfinished basement to make better play space for her active children!  More importantly, her kids and their friends were on board to help with the project.  They were awesome! 

These suggestions would be the same for a family room or kid’s bedroom project.  Perfect for a snow day in the new year!!  Here is my response:

First, identify your goals.  Often, your space will still have the same purposes when the project is finished – in this basement example, play space, holiday storage, etc.  Just tidier.  Sometimes the purpose for the space is changing, but let’s assume “same only cleaner”.

Next, assemble your supplies.  Black garbage bags for trash, white kitchen bags for items to donate (you can write the destination on the white bag with a sharpie), sharpies, masking tape, Rubbermaid / Sterilite containers. 

Then, pick your starting point:  Bottom of the stairwell, near a specific door, or just some random place to start.  I always have one starting point and work from there.  However, that might not work in this case, since all your team members would be in one congested area.  You could pick one spot, and have two teams move out in both directions from there.  Or if there are different areas, you could have one team work on Christmas decorations, one team work on toys, etc.

Be sure to remove the easy stuff first:

–       big items (bikes, big play pieces, random pieces of furniture) and set them aside.

–       empty boxes – break them down and haul them outside, or set aside to use as storage containers

–       containers that are already organized, complete and full – label them and pile them up

–       donations, garbage, recycling – schlep out of the space you’re clearing, giving you more space and a feeling of accomplishment

 

If there is clothing in the area where you are working:

–       dirty – send to the laundry room and deal with later

–       storage (off-sizes or off-season), do a quick sort, put in large Rubbermaid containers to be dealt with another day

 (let the kids help deal with the toys, do the clothes yourself), and label with size / season / child, etc.

 

Keep your teams focused, motivated and moving.  Remember your purpose and stay on task:

–       Don’t let your kids get hung up on playing, or on the little tiny details of toys (no Lego assembly!).

–       Play fun music, keep everyone dancing.  No TV, trust me.

–       Allow for organized break times (if you just let them wander off, you may soon find yourself working alone.) and snacks.

–       You can pull out team members for very specific tasks – sorting legos, loading up book shelves, collecting nerf pieces, etc. 

–       You could also shake it up, and have teams switch roles every hour, to keep them engaged.

–       Wrap up the project within 3-4 hours, no one wants to work longer than that.

–       And promise some fun at the end, like a big rowdy game or a special lunch or snack.

I was privileged to work with this great family on the project.  The kids were a huge help!  They were great at sorting through specific piles, and working on mini-projects (like tidying up the book shelves to make more room for more books).  The big pay-offs for me were finding little tiny figures for the 4 year-old to play with (he was so happy!), and watching the big kids run-run-run around the space because they had “never been able to do that before!”.  What would you like to accomplish today?  Get to it! 

“If I Had A Nickel…” Getting Buy-In From Your Family

If I had a nickel for every time I was asked “How do I get my family to get and stay organized?” I’d be rich.  Perhaps you want to get organized, but you feel challenged with young children, your spouse, maybe even aging parents or grown-up children who are still / again living at home.

Remember, please, I am an organizer, not a parenting expert or marriage counselor (as my husband and kids will attest).

We love our family members.  No one is broken, and No one needs fixed.   Each of us has strengths and skill sets.   And sometimes, a family member’s strength is NOT organizing.  Or maintaining systems, or even seeing how their actions or inactions affect others.   BUT, we need to be able to live together in shared space.   So, here are ways to gain cooperation or “Buy-In” from family members (or co-workers, employees, etc):

Determine Your Needs.  Not Wants, but Needs.  We need clothing and shelter, we want nice clothing and a big house.  Stating “Needs” instead of “wants” creates urgency.  For example, I want things to be pretty, but I need things to be organized.  So I am willing to spend effort and money on organizing first, and “pretty” later.  And I live in a house with all men and “pretty” is not a want for them.  So I stick with needs.

Solve a Problem.  Identify specific problems in your household, and how organizing can solve each.  If the problem is “We’re always late”, organizing your time and Launch Pad better could help you be on time.  Focus on one specific challenge.  Resist trying and failing to change everything at once.

Get Clear in Your Own Vision so that you can communicate it to others.

“Be the change you want to see in the world.” (Mahatma Gandhi)  Set the example.  This helps us to Speak From Experience, which lends us believability.  Be willing to step up and organize yourself if you are expecting others to get organized, too.

Keep it Simple.  Keep your ideas and message simple, dispassionate and to the point.

Keep it Realistic.  Keep participant ages, skill levels, attention spans, etc. in mind when you ask for assistance.  Strive for little steps in the right direction instead of big global changes.  Also, don’t make organizing look so easy that no one will ever offer to help; or so difficult that no one will ever want to help.

Don’t Tell, Teach.   Remember Organizing is a process, and we often need to teach the process.  No one reads minds.  Lay out each person’s part of the process for them.   I learn more every day, and I do this for a living.  Understand there is a learning curve for all family members.

Use Marketing to sell the Organizing Process:

  1. Make a statement, how every one is going to try this new idea.
  2. Make it a Team Effort.  And let everyone know they are needed.
  3. Express the “Why”:  Why and how everyone will benefit.
  4. State the expectations for everyone.  (And mention that you are only human, and you, too, are feeling your way through these changes).
  5. Offer assistance and resources for your projects and to help others.

Find a Motivator.  Point to something personal, specific or tangible: More money?  Less stress?  Different stuff?   With kids, the motivators could be:

  • A better morning routine will get us out the door and on to activities sooner.
  • Purge and sell your extra toys and games and use the money for a new game system.
  • If we clean out the basement, we can gain a play / recreation room.
  • If we get more organized, we can stop driving Mom crazy. (maybe that is just me…..)
  • If we prove we are responsible in one area, we can get xx or yy privilege.
  • If we plan the menu and put stuff on the shopping list, we get foods we like, and the cabinets are full.
  • Use life transitions, like a new school year or moving from tween to teenager, to motivate change.
  • My boys are growing, as is their understanding of the world around them. We try to do things because sometimes they are just “the right thing to do”.  Recognize motivators can change as people grow.
  • Take advantage of Summer Vacation.  Plan an organizing project per week, and offer a reward upon completion.  E.g., Clean out the garage this morning, play this afternoon.  Work on a new habit or behavior for a week, with a trip to Rainbow Cone at the end.

If you can’t achieve Buy-In, create boundaries.  If a family member is unwilling to participate in the organizing efforts, allow chaos in their own room but not in common space.  And if they can’t keep common space organized, then limit access to that space (this works for kids, not so much for adults!!).

So, be specific about your organizing projects, be a good advertiser for the process, and find creative ways to get your family members involved in the process.  You will gain assistance in the short-term, and a more organized family in the future!

Legos and Books and Star Wars, oh my! Organizing with Kids

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I organize with my kids regularly, probably more often than they would like.  I remind them that most people have to pay for my services and that they’re lucky I nag / torture / organize them for free, but I doubt they consider themselves lucky.

Image     I do enjoy brief shining moments after organizing when they say “wow, mom, it is more fun to play with my xxx when all the pieces are together”.  I worked with a young client (he is 9) last week, and was reminded of 8 tips for organizing with children (and adults, too!!):

  1. Let them use THEIR words.  Ask your kids to verbalize the benefits of organizing.  If they can’t come up with any, brainstorm together about why they need to organize: it’s more fun to play with toys when all the parts are together, make room for something new, sell stuff to buy more, make room for a sleepover with friends, etc.  Also, use THEIR words for making container labels (and label makers are really cool).
  2. Make it fun:  Play music, use a timer, make organizing a race or game.  Try “Let’s see if we can get through this pile before the timer goes off”, or “Let’s pretend we’re packing for a trip and find the 10 things you want to take” or “imagine your friend is coming over and wants to play Transformers, let’s collect all your Transformers”.
  3. Break big work into smaller pieces: Large projects may need to be broken into smaller chunks, depending on your child’s age and attention.  I can give my 14 year-old a task and a time frame, and leave him to do it.  The 7 year-old requires shorter projects and more assistance.  Let’s say the project is Organize Your Bedroom.  The smaller pieces may be an hour a day: Monday – organize book shelves, Tuesday – dresser drawers, Wednesday – closet, Thursday and Friday – toys and toy box.  By the end of the week, you’ve maintained focus, you and your child are still speaking to each other and the bedroom is organized.
  4. Take Breaks and Schedule your Stop-Time:  When organizing, we all need short breaks (but not too many) to grab a beverage, stretch and regain focus.  And scheduling an Stop-Time gives us all a light at the end of the organizing tunnel, and keeps the kids from losing focus or feeling resentful.       Stick to the Stop-Time even if the project is not done, and come back to it tomorrow.
  5. Law of Diminishing Returns: Decision-making starts slowly, builds in speed, then slows again.  When we start organizing, we move slowly as we define our categories and their containers (like legos, pokemon cards, hex bugs, or books in different piles).  Once we establish categories and containers, we gather speed and make progress.  Then, after the important and easy sorting is done, we are left with a pile of less important, less defined items, and decision-making slows down again.  Don’t get hung up on the un-important stuff.   When you get to that final scruffy pile, put it in a paper bag with today’s date on it, and set it in the closet.  Agree that if your child doesn’t go into the bag looking for something specific within a week or two, you’ll toss it.
  6. Recognize the different ways to sort:  When we started to lose focus the other day, we switched from “pulling out one item at a time and deciding where it belongs” to “look at the pile, and pull out all the books or legos or light bright pegs”.  Both ways are correct, and shifting gears helped us re-focus.
  7. Embrace AWAY:  Make sure the last 10 minutes of your organizing session are spent putting things AWAY.  That is one of the most important parts of organizing with kids, and one that we often do for thm, gloss over, or don’t complete.  AWAY is a wonderful word, an important idea, and kids need to know that AWAY is the end goal.
  8. Make it worth their while.  I don’t pay my kids to organize or complete everyday tasks like cleaning their room or cleaning up after meals.  However… I mentioned to a client that my boys were working on organizing projects while I was working with her, and she asked “What’s the pay-off?”  And      apparently Mom’s Happiness was not what she was suggesting.  So, call it positive reinforcement, and if there happens to be a bowl of ice cream or trip to the local park as a reward for an organizing project done well, maybe the kids will even suggest the next organizing project (a mom can dream, right?!).

Pick a project or two to tackle with your kids, and keep these 8 tips in mind!