Tag: Peace of Mind Professional Organizing

Advice For the Graduates and the Rest of Us, As Well!

Did you know? In addition to being a Certified Professional Organizer, I’m also an elected school board member in my community. I was honored to deliver an address at the 8th grade graduation in June.

We are all in perpetual transition – back to school, but also life milestones. Here is what I had to say to that gymnasium full of students as they went on their way, and to all of us as well!

“Good evening.  I would like to welcome you all, and Thank You for being here, and not just tonight.  

Thank you to our dedicated and passionate teachers and staff who have instructed and guided these students along the way. These educators arrive early, stay late, they’re in the classrooms and hallways and at these events. And they truly have our student’s best interests in mind.  We are so fortunate, and I am so grateful. 

Thank you, parents and guardians and all those folks who also show up.  Every day.  I’m not even going to finish the equation, # of morning wake-ups from Pre-K to 8th grade multiplied by lunches packed, homework, gym uniforms, band instruments, car pools, field trips. Then there are the games and concerts and events in person and on-line that we are SO happy to attend.

Students – yes, tonight is about you, but tonight or this weekend, please stop and look your parents, grandparents and significant adults in the eyes and thank them for helping you get to this occasion.   

And now, Students!   

You’ve heard it before, “you can be anything you want to be”.  And you can.  You are able to be, allowed to be, anything you want to be.   

But hear me, and not just with your ears but with your heart.  All of you, sitting here this evening – you are CAPABLE of being anything you want to be.

You have proven over the last few years that you are flexible, you are resilient, you are clever and creative. You have suffered loss and you have survived.  You have endured a pandemic, and you are still here!

You adapted to learning new things in new ways that just a few years ago still felt impossible or unattainable.  You have adapted and learned and adapted some more. 

The first thing I ask, then, is that you Believe that you are CAPABLE of anything you want to achieve.  

Second, Do the right thing, even when no one is watching.  Don’t bother with easy, or just skating by, because you think no one will notice.  YOU will notice.  And once you know you can count on yourself to do the right thing, your confidence and capacity for doing the right thing will grow.   You may find yourself in a situation and you’re not sure what the right thing to do is. Go with kindness.  Justice.  Fairness.  Thinking and thoughtfulness.  Those are always going to be the right thing.  And the right thing might not be what everyone else is doing, but that’s ok, they are just waiting for you to set an example. 

Third, Find your people.  Look around for the people that are doing what you want to do, what you aspire to do. Surround yourself with good people who will lift you up, build you up, and who are also doing the right thing. Find and appreciate those people, and more importantly, strive to be that best person for others.

Finally, Start and end with gratitude.  Be grateful for your natural born talents and your diligently honed skills.  Be grateful for your family who loves you, the education you are working for, your friends and our community.   

So, your homework:

Believe you are CAPABLE of being anything you want to be.
Do the Right Thing.  
Find Your People.
And Start and End with Gratitude.

I’m going to take my own advice here, and say thank you, Central Middle School class of 2021, for showing us all how to survive and thrive in adversity.  I can’t wait to see what each of you will continue to achieve in big and small ways, in the years to come.  Congratulations and Well Done!” 

Change the Toilet Paper Roll

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I had a much more interesting (I think) article topic planned for today. It was going to be visually stunning, thought-provoking, grammatically correct, entertaining and less than 500 words (because a friend told me long ago he would stop reading my articles at the 500 word mark).

However, a much better topic popped into my head as I swapped out the empty toilet paper roll at a client’s house this morning, and now I am going to talk about toilet paper. As a metaphor for life, of course.

Luckily, I have a habit of checking things such as toilet paper levels, hand towels, etc., before I use a washroom. I immediately determined the roll would be done after I was done. And another quick check told me there was no back-up roll in the usual spot.

I could have just left it – I didn’t use 99.5% of the roll, and hey, it’s not my house, after all. But:

1. I am not a jerk;
2. I firmly believe in leaving things better than I found them whenever I can;
3. I know the solution to this problem and it’s an easy fix; and
4. I may be the next person to use that washroom, and then I would be in trouble.

So, I spent the extra 2 minutes and ran downstairs to the pantry, grabbed a 6 pack and restocked the back-up rolls and the fresh roll. I had a few extras left over and left them out for the client to probably stock other places in her home. And here, reader, is the point.

Take the few extra minute to complete the tasks, especially THE EASY ONES because there is not reason not to. And to NOT complete these easy, everyday tasks can REALLY MESS UP YOUR DAY if they are neglected.

What other tasks fall into this category? The super easily fixed problem that could have wreaked havoc on your day later?

  • Put the scissors back where you found them instead of leaving them out.
  • Recycle the empty milk jug and make a note on the grocery list.
  • Empty the trash when it is full.
  • Charge your phone, and if you see your loved one’s phone near the charger but not on the charger, plug it in.
  • Change the batteries in the remote instead of leaving the task for the next poor sap who just wants to watch TV.
  • Change the toilet paper roll, or restock the empty tissue box, etc., and re-stock the back-up once a week.
  • Refill the hand soap dispenser once a week while you’re at it, because running out of soap is a pain.
  • Get gas on your way home when you realize you need it because you absolutely will not remember to leave time for it in the morning. (Don’t argue, you know I am right.)

Do these things. Because they take no time at all and can really keep your week humming along, and NOT doing them can really trip you up.

Do them because you’re not a jerk. Because it takes very little time to leave something better than you found it. Because most problems we encounter are actually pretty easy fixes if we don’t delay. And if you can’t be all these positive things, do the easy task because you may be the one who is majorly inconvenienced later!

Let’s get back to “Because… of External Motivators.”

I helped a client move out an old book shelf today to the curb. Because… tomorrow is trash day.

I spent time last evening with my bookkeeping and readied some invoices to send. Because… it’s the last few days of the month and I send out my billing on the last day of the month.

I reached out to a loved one today first thing. Because… it’s her birthday.

My husband left the house this morning at 6 am to catch the 6:25 am train. Because… well, that’s when it was scheduled to arrive.

I worked today instead of laying on my couch, eating snacks and doing nothing. Because… well, because I would be bored silly doing nothing, but also because… I get paid to work, I like to work and I like to get paid. Money is useful.

These are all examples of External Motivators. Motivation that comes from outside ourselves, from outside forces or sources.

This can backfire, of course, if we ONLY choose to take out the trash because it’s trash day, as opposed to taking it out because the bin is full or something is getting smelly.

It occurs to me that life may have been light in the area of external motivators during the last year. Perhaps we ignored reminders to make doctor appointments because of strict guidelines or social distancing. I just read a New Yorker article about how we haven’t had to Get Dressed in 16 months or so. Perhaps we haven’t tidied up the house too much because previously the expectation of hospitality was our motivator, but after we were unable to host for many months, our practices have grown lax.

As we return to slightly more normal routines, let’s start paying attention to – AGAIN – and get back in the habit of heeding external motivators!

Look for Love In All the Right Places!

If you are looking for love from your stuff, you’re missing the point.

 

From The Minimalists, http://www.theminimalists.com/

If I haven’t said it lately, let me say it now:  Life IS Not About The Stuff.
Life is about our interactions with other people.
Life is about love, friendship and relationships.
Life is about faith, service to others and our community, and using our gifts and skills for personal and professional achievements.
Life is about experiences and beauty, perhaps travel and adventure.
Life is about a million different things… that probably aren’t really things at all.
Life is NOT about the stuff.

Our stuff cannot love us.  It can only serve a purpose.

I am not saying that Stuff is bad.  For example, I really love my home.  And there are items in my house that I love and would be very sad to lose.  But mostly I love my home because it’s where my family lives, it’s filled with memories and good energy, it makes me feel warm and happy.  Our homes serve purposes; keeping us safe; a gathering place for friends and family; a retreat; a parking space for the things we need to use to love and serve others and work on our accomplishments.  We can love our home, but it is more likely that we love what it does for us.

 

I love my van, or to be clear, I really appreciate my van.  Not because it is a spectacular vehicle, but because it gets me and my family safely and comfortably where we need to go.  Would I love it more if it were a Mini Cooper instead of a minivan? Probably not (though I’d be happy to find out some day!)

 

Last summer, I offered a presentation on the Marie Kondo “Magic Art of Tidying Up” book.  We can learn much from the book, both what TO DO and what NOT TO DO with our stuff.  A problem with the book, though, is the idea that our stuff should Spark Joy in us.   The author recommends that we hold every item we own, and only keep it if the item sparks joy in us.

I understand what the author’s message and I even agree to some extent, but it’s ridiculous think that my new jeans will Spark Joy. They are jeans.  Just jeans. They make me happy because they will serve a purpose, keep me warm and relatively fashionable while I go about my days.  But expecting Joy from a pair of pants?  Um, no.

If I only kept my stuff that “Sparks Joy”, I would be in serious danger of purging too much stuff instead of not enough.  Joy does not come from our stuff.

When we can separate our stuff and our feelings, we can look at our stuff more objectively and clear clutter.

We can realize that our deceased loved ones do not exist in their stuff they left behind.  We can love and cherish the memory  of a person, but still let go of the 20 boxes left to us when they downsized or passed.

We can realize that we need to clear clutter left over from 5, 10 or 20 years ago or a life we’re no longer leading, in favor of a clearer, more organized and easy life today with the people that we love now (including ourselves).

And we can look at our stuff from a different and more positive perspective.  First, ask yourself what Life / Love / Joy you want.  And then ask “What stuff do I own that will move me towards the Life / Love / Joy that I want?”  Don’t look for love in the attic or basement or the back of your closet.  It’s not there. Clear your clutter and Look for Love in the world around you.

Happy Valentine’s Day, Friends!

To:

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