Hope In Normalizing: “I Can Do This, Too”

This week, I want to introduce an idea called Normalizing, and why I think it is a useful and hopeful idea.

I was talking to a friend recently about a health challenge she is facing.

She was saying that we can believe we are all alone in what we are suffering with because we’ve never really talked about it with anyone.  However, when you start talking to people about your health issue, suddenly you find out that the problem is common, that many people have the same problem, or at least know somebody with the problem.

Ummm… let’s say gallbladder issues.  (And no, I do not have gallbladder issues, and neither does she, I’m just using this as an example).

Imagine: I’m feeling fine, and then one day, I’m not feeling so fine.  I muddle through for a few weeks or even months, with flare-ups and the like, getting better between and then another flare up happens. I finally go to the doctor. They run their tests, give me a diagnosis, share some strategies with me and also schedule a surgery because the gallbladder has to be removed.

Now that I know more and need to make plans, I mention my health challenge at work (because I need time off), or I bring it up with friends or family or the lady at the grocery store because now that I have a diagnosis and a plan, I feel more comfortable talking about it…

And when I bring it up, I find out that EVERYONE has had this problem, or knows someone who has had this problem.

You know the stories you hear, “my husband / wife / parent / child / coworker / friend / sibling has or had this problem”. We all may want to feel special and unique, but probably not when it comes to our gallbladder!

Hearing the stories about how what we thought was one-of-a-kind really isn’t… that is not a bad thing. I actually consider it kind of a good thing.  It feels hopeful to me.

In coaching, we talk about normalizing. Per Dictionary.com, Normalizing may mean “to cause (something previously considered abnormal or unacceptable) to be treated as normal”. 

This can be negative like when we learn to tolerate something that might be negative so that it becomes our new normal.  But it can also be a positive thing, when we expand our understanding of what can be typical and normal, so we no longer feel shame or worry about an issue or circumstance.

As in, when you find out that this issue that you’re having that is probably really rocking your world if you are in the middle of it and things are sore or are uncomfortable is actually 100% survivable.  And do-able.

Like when you’ve got something medical going on and all you seem to do is go to doctor’s appointments and do follow-up and it feels like a full-time job. And it’s really impacting your life and you feel frustrated. You feel like you’re alone in this. Like no one is going to understand. 

And yet, they will.

We can’t necessarily see our way through this situation because we have never been in it before.  We don’t know how long it will take, or when we may start to feel better.  But… other people know.  Other people have faced it and have come out the other side.

So we normalize. We normalize because sometimes we need to hear that we are not alone in whatever it is we’re going through. Sometimes we need to feel like we’re not alone AND that someone else in a similar situation has figured it out.

They have figured it out. And therefore, so can I.

If somebody else has figured all this out, I can too. And there is hope. There is hope in that. I can, too.

Let’s switch it up, I will use Blackberry Jam as an analogy.

Last year I learned how to make and can jam. Like preserves, hot water bath, mason jars, shelf stable, etc.

I had promised a loved one that I would find someone to make jam for an event, and I did not find a jam maker so I became the jam maker.   Here’s the thing.  I knew that I could.  I had a working knowledge of what was involved. And we have YouTube and websites and books, plus there is Amazon.com for ordering the tools.  It’s all there.  It’s all learnable. It’s all there. I knew I could do it.

I like to think I am pretty smart, and I am definitely curious and open to learning.  And hey, people living hundreds of years ago with none of the resources I have now figured it out.  I can do this.  And I did. And it was good!

Now I know how to make jam and also preserve it.  I’m pretty sure I still have some in my cabinet from last Fall. I still have all the tools and the know-how, to do it again. We can call that normalized.

Sometimes, my coaching clients or myself or any one of us, really, can think that the situation that we find ourselves in at this moment is so singular that no one has ever figured out what to do about it. And therefore, we can’t even hope to make things better.

And that’s not true.  I’m here to tell you that’s not true because I guarantee you there have been similar situations where people have figured things out and have come through on the other side just fine.

I consider normalizing to be optimistic. I consider normalizing, when done right, to be hopeful. When we are in the midst of something that we don’t know how to figure out, it’s hopeful to know that someone else figured it out. You are most likely able, you’re going to be able to figure it out as well.  And next time, you can be the resource for somebody.

We have more resources right now than we ever had ever in history to figure things out, ever. You have more resources now than anyone has ever had before. Whoa.

But it’s true. We have more knowledge now than anyone has ever had before. How hopeful and optimistic is that?! It’s awesome. And, if you want to figure things out for yourself, I am here to help. 

Independence Day: From What? For What?

This week, in this country, we celebrate Independence Day.

I want to respect why we celebrate Independence Day, and also ask the question about the word independence – for ourselves, independence from what?  What do we choose independence from, and what do we choose it for?

Whenever I hear the phrase, “The Fourth of July”, my brain goes to a silly joke. A traveler from the US goes to another country for vacation in the summer.  He asks his hosts why they don’t have The Fourth of July in their country.  The hosts assure him “of course we have The Fourth of July, right after the third and before the 5th.  The calendar would look odd without it.” Or something along those lines.

So, I’ll stick with calling it Independence Day.  But that also sends my brain down a little trail around the word “independence.”  And that’s what I want to talk about today. Independence, as in being free of something.  And free to do something else.

Is there something that you are currently dependent on, or a situation that you are currently in that you seek to be independent from? Let’s consider, is there a situation or relationship that isn’t currently working? And what would we choose instead?

Could you benefit from independence from a habit that is not supporting you? And what would we choose?

And let’s turn it into more positive language – perhaps it’s not independence from something.  But, instead something that you’d like to see improved, enhanced.   As in, if I made these positive changes, I could be independent to do x, y or z.

Whatever that looks like for you. Independence Day.

As I consider Independence, I’m reminded that sometimes we don’t even realize what we are dependent on.  It is more likely that we haven’t identified the habits or things that we need independence from, and less likely that there just aren’t any.

Perhaps it’s a mindset, a way of thinking, that isn’t serving us.

How to?

  • We start with knowing what it looks like when we’re being our best selves.
  • We Identify what is keeping us from being our best selves.
  • We break down those things, habits, ways of being that are in the way and we take action to change them. 
  • And, starting the process all over again. And that’s ok.

We can always be learning and improving.

What is it that you would need to become independent from?  And what are we using our independence for?

As both an organizational coach and a certified professional organizer, let’s use Independence from Our Stuff as an example.

Perhaps you have unhealthy habits around your stuff, and you could benefit from independence from those habits and your stuff!  I subscribe to emails from a woman named Dana White with the Website, YouTube channel etc., “A Slob Comes Clean”.  In her content she talks about her “deslobification” journey and I really respect her insight and perspective of how a disorganized person got organized.  It’s great, if you want to check her out. 

Recently, she was talking about shopping, and how her negative habits around shopping were contributing to her mounting clutter.  She mentioned that she used to go to garage sales and fill up the car all the time with more stuff because she was waiting for stuff to be the answer to her life questions.

She was creating bigger problems for herself by continuing with unhealthy habits.

To break free from the stuff, she also needed to be less dependent on the habits around acquiring more stuff.  If this was you or me in this example, we can see that we need to break free of bad habits to become independent of our clutter.

What if you need to assert your independence from negative thoughts or thinking that isn’t helping you.

Working with a coaching client the other day, we were discussing how her thoughts often get stuck in a rut, just circling or spinning, without a way to move on from that spinning (and leaving her overwhelmed, stressed out, distracted, etc.).

Can you relate?  I can relate.

This client was seeking independence from these swirling negative thoughts because she knew there was more happiness, peace and calm to be found on the other side. 

She is sometimes unhappy, overwhelmed, distracted, etc.  She is SUPER smart, accomplished professionally, has a satisfying personal life… and she still needs independence from her current thinking habits.

Again, can you relate?  I can relate.

As we worked it through. She expressed what is going on in her head. She recognized where she wants to go and how she wants to be, and she recognized she isn’t there yet. She also identified what was holding her back from happiness and peace. And getting a handle on her swirling thoughts would give her the freedom to think how she wants to think.

Anecdotally, we discovered together that writing down the thoughts that were swirling in her head would give her a chance to inspect and organize them and also make a record her learning.  So she wouldn’t have to keep thinking the same thoughts over and over again, and she could think about something else instead.  Sounds like independence to me.

I will say that for me, I have, over time, broken free of or become more independent of my perfectionist tendencies.  That way of being didn’t serve me well. I struggled with perfectionism and therefore procrastination when my kids were really little.  Time management was harder when they were little and  my responsibilities and my time were not my own. But I could change my tendencies and that is what I managed to do.

I am no longer a perfectionist because who has the time?

Was that quick? No.

Was it easy? Probably not, but I don’t remember.

Is it possible? Yes, it absolutely is. And now I can live differently. And better.

But that’s the question I’m asking you today as we celebrate Independence Day, what is it that you would like to become independent from?

What habits are no longer serving you?

What is it time for you to separate yourself from?  Thing. Habit, thought, whatever.

I look forward to hearing what that could be for you. I hope that you are, uh, motivated to think of things like that. I am thinking big thoughts this summer, but that was one that I wanted to share with.

Happy Independence Day, how ever you would like to embrace it!

The Daily List Right In Front Of Me

I worked with a new client recently. It was truly a pleasure to meet and work with them. It is great to meet someone who, like many of us, is already on this journey to more intention, more productivity, to figuring out what it is they want to accomplish today and also in life. And who is ready to try different tools to help them do that.

Maybe you have the exact perfect tools to help you do exactly what you want to do, and that’s awesome. Good for you. I love that for you.

I’m there, too, but I’m also always looking for new ideas because I try them out for myself and collect those ideas and share them with all of you, my community.

I worked with two productivity coaching clients this week in their work spaces.

One client realized for themselves in the last month that a daily to-do list could help them get more done, so they are exploring a daily list. This person is a graphic designer, and they created their own visually appealing daily one-page. The list is not too structured. There were check boxes and empty lines so they could write their lists of tasks and projects and intentions and make it completely different for themselves every day, depending on what their day held.

Their process includes printing tomorrow’s form today and taking a few minutes to jot down tomorrow’s plan as they wrap up today. Doing this ahead of time means they are more likely to capture tasks they want to complete first thing in the morning, or perhaps there are timed events on the calendar already that they want to remember, like “8 am, take kids to school”, “10 am, Zoom call with potential client”, “Noon, physically create that product or buy supplies, etc.”

For this client, they also add personal stuff, like take a shower, start some laundry, stop at the grocery, make dinner. You know, the things that we have to do in life.

The other client I worked on the Daily List with is further along in her business and her productivity coaching journey. She has consistent, well established and supportive routines around most of her personal tasks, so her Daily List is specifically for business related items. Many of these items are hosted on digital to-do lists, too, or shared with her assistant, but this client really values this Daily List “in [her] face ALL THE TIME” to keep her on track. (I know she is a listener, so she’s going to know I am talking about her).

And this client and I have worked together over time. She is an established business owner and has figured out more processes and systems. Her personal tasks and routines happen consistently, so her Daily List is for items like: team management and helping the team members to thrive; strategic planning and big picture planning for the company; working with her assistant to plan the week, etc.

When I was first starting my business 21 years ago, I had a wonderful mentor who was already an established professional organizer, Pamela. She shared with me then her daily one-page planning sheet, with areas for calls to make, personal metrics like exercise and water consumption, appointments, tasks, etc. I used a similar form for many years. Now, I use digital tools and reminders, but a good list in my bullet journal – in front of my face – is sometimes what is required for me to get things done on a busy day!

What do all of these people and strategies have in common?

  • Many of us benefit from having visual and tangible reminders in front of our faces!
  • We recognize the value of carving out time today to plan for tomorrow.
  • We make sure to check in with today’s list multiple times a day to keep us on track.

I want to dive a little deeper into a few more important characteristics of the Daily List that will help you succeed.

Realistic Time Estimates.

With one of the recent clients, we discussed realistic time estimates.

I know I have spoken about realistic time estimates in other podcast episodes and articles. It is very important to identify just how long regular tasks take. For example, I believe I take quick showers in the morning. With this article on my mind this morning, I decided to actually time my shower. And if “quick showers” means 5 minutes or so… well, it turns out I DO NOT take quick showers. Or, I take two quick showers, meaning this morning’s shower was more like 10-12 minutes.

Please don’t judge.

But this is useful information. I can use it to form my plan for my day. If someone says “Let’s go do that thing” I can say that realistically, it will take me 20 -30 minutes to get ready, instead of my optimistic (and incorrect) belief that it will take me 10 minutes.

That is just one very simple example. We all have beliefs around how long we think tasks take. Or commutes. Or cooking a meal. But if we don’t factor in the rest of the steps, or if we aren’t aware of how long things really take, we are setting ourselves up to fail.

Time Cushion and Rest.

Another characteristic of a successful Daily List is factoring in rest or at least a time cushion.

I stumble on this one all the time. The Daily List needs to have extra time factored in for transition time, or nature breaks or lunch or even a moment to step outside and breathe some fresh air. There is always more work to be done, but I will get back to it happier and more refreshed if I factor in a little extra time for rest or delays or flexibility.

Identify Routine tasks.

My clients and I also talked this week about our different types of tasks from day to day.

If you like a detailed list, there are economies we can achieve with topping our list with the 5-10 tasks we need to accomplish every day to just survive, aka. our daily routine. “Take shower, brush teeth, work out, take vitamins, eat breakfast, pack lunch”. Perhaps “make bed, start laundry, walk dog”. Basics. But for some of us, we like to cross these tasks off the list, as well, just like the work specific, family specific or other responsibilities. However, we don’t likely need to rewrite them every day. We can park them at the top of the list because they are different than our daily work today.

Priorities.

And once we have figured out how to manage those routine tasks, let’s look at prioritizing the rest of the items on the Daily List.

Maybe it’s just me, but I usually have more on my list than I can possibly get done in a day.

Again, asking you not to judge, here. I know this AND it still happens. So it is very important that at the start of every day, I review the list and determine what can feasibly happen in the time I have today, and then I put the tasks in order of importance and urgency. “Launching my new website” is super important, but will take many more hours than I have today AND no one but me is waiting for that task’s completion. Following up with clients, moving more urgent projects along, taking care of tasks that other people are relying on me to complete so they can do their work – yes, those will end up at the top of today’s list, along with realistic time estimates as to how long I expect the tasks to take.

So, to recap, perhaps you would benefit from a Daily List IN FRONT OF YOU every day. Perhaps it’s paper, perhaps it is digital. You do you. But there are characteristics that will make the Daily List and the process successful:

  • Planning ahead, like the day before, to wrap up today and look at tomorrow.
  • Checking in on the Daily List regularly.
  • Realistic Time Estimates for our regular tasks.
  • Factoring in time cushion and rest.
  • Recognizing the difference between routine tasks and the rest of your Daily List.
  • Prioritized tasks, so that the most important work gets done.

Hope this helps!

“My Tree Has Leaves!” What Do You Need, To Thrive?

“My tree has leaves!”

I stood in my dining room this morning and exclaimed this excitedly out loud to absolutely no one.

I was drinking my coffee and gazing out my newly washed (over the weekend) front windows and admiring the sunshine and realized my new little tree has leaves! This is noteworthy, trust me.

You see, we had a tree in front of our house for many years. He was so beautiful in the Fall that people would stop and ask if they could pick up some of his leaves because they were so brilliantly colored.

And then, after one of those years with blight or borers, he wasn’t doing so well. We did what we could to help him out for a few years, fertilizer and extra water, etc., but his days were numbered, and eventually our village’s arborist said the tree needed to go before the tree hurt someone or someone’s car if he fell over, or infected other trees.

So we had the tree cut down. We liked having a tree in the front yard, though, so the next Spring we had another tree planted. This new tree had two seasons to thrive, but he never did. The second season, I think he had one leaf. Just one. Sadly, he, too, had to go.

We were assured that our yard and the placement and the type of tree were not the problems, that more likely that particular sapling wasn’t healthy. Fast forward to last Fall when we had another tree installed. Hope springs eternal, right? And since he was installed in the Fall after leaves fell, we had no way of knowing if he was healthy or not. But he is! And now that Spring is here, he has leaves! Now you know why I was rejoicing!

I heard a statement many months ago and it has stuck with me. It was a Facebook reel or tik-tok, and I don’t remember who said it, so if you know and can tell me, I will cite it appropriately. Here’s the quote – “Seeds aren’t lazy and neither are you.”

Meaning, if a seed doesn’t grow, we don’t say the seed is lazy. No one tells the seeds they are lazy. And if you aren’t flourishing, it’s probably not because you’re lazy. Seeds aren’t lazy and neither are you.

What is more likely is that the seed and you don’t have what is needed to thrive.

Like my original tree or my first little sapling. After my original tree was weakened, we tried to support him but he was too far gone. And my first little sapling – well, I have no idea why he didn’t thrive but we were assured that the environment we provided would support a sapling, just not that one apparently.

We can ask what a tree needs – a hospitable environment, the right climate, sunshine, water, opportunity. And patience. And then we step back and let it grow.

Sometimes, a plant can receive too much care. Yes, that is a possibility. Metaphorically and actually.

A couple summers ago, I had what I thought were fruit flies. Except – we don’t leave fruit or any other food out on the counter. And the fruit fly solutions according to the internet, like vinegar and dish soap in a jar or the cool ultraviolet fan thing I bought on Amazon, did not work. And the fruit flies were on my houseplants. So after a little more googling, I determined that the reason the anti-fruit fly solutions weren’t working was because what I thought were fruit flies were fungus gnats. Which I feel sound monumentally more disgusting. But, I digress.

The solution to the fungus gnats, by the way, was to water my plants less and also use a peppermint spray from Amazon that cleared up the gnats in a week. It turns out, you CAN care too much. I was apparently overwatering. I cared a little too much.

Taking the metaphorical leap, often we need to adjust our supports or environment to help us grow. Sometimes we don’t have what we need to thrive, either not enough or too much! And sometimes we just aren’t in the right situation.

Awareness. Awareness. Awareness.

For us to flourish, we may need to take a moment or some time to review where we are, what we need, what we don’t need, and how we will know we are flourishing. But what do we do with that statement? I always want to recommend actionable steps that we can apply this week, or whatever week you are listening to this episode!

Sticking with the plant theme, I will share that I am a joyous but indifferent gardener. I love to plant veggies and herbs and to care for them outside in the summer. I like the “getting my hands in the dirt” and “puttering in the garden” parts of gardening, they are fun and relaxing to me. I also love the “using fresh veggies and herbs from the garden in my cooking” part, I find that fun, too, and it supports my desire to eat healthy and well.

It seems that in my garden and in life, we can walk through the process for a better yield, whether that is tomatoes or priorities or productivity or whatever it is we’re looking to improve! And as I write this article, I realized that last week’s PACT goals article could have been all about gardening, too – the process and not a once-and-done event!

To review, PACT goals stand for: Purpose; Action; Continuous; and Trackable.

Let’s start with our Purpose. For example, I can say “I want to be a better gardener.” And in this example, “better” means more yield per plants.

Next, I need to determine my Actions. I can educate myself by talking to other gardeners (who actually know what they are doing!), reading books or reading up on-line. Once I know more, I could choose to plant dozens of types of vegetables this summer and hope that some of them work out. OR, I could narrow in on fewer types of vegetables and get better at those specifically. Given my small back yard, I will choose to focus on a few types of vegetables and get better at those specifically. For example, I love growing (and eating!) tomatoes but my plants didn’t produce much of anything last year. So I need to learn and take new actions!

Once I know more, I can decide and then act to water more often or less, provide more sun or less, more or less pruning, etc. I can pay attention to what other inputs or supports I can use to improve my outputs. I always use physical supports like a tomato cage, because sometimes we all need more support!

Continuous care is required for plant success. Once I know what actions to take, I need to be consistent with taking them! I will add morning gardening into my summer morning routine, to water and tend. And I will be ready to observe and adjust my regular activities, too, based on progress. And I can track the progress, like plant height, growth, number of flowers (that will turn into tomatoes later), and yield at the end of the season, to learn from the process.

Well-intentioned care, not too much and not too little, and a supportive environment will help my little sapling and my garden grow this summer. Goal setting, and PACT goals specifically, can help us flourish by determining the right supports for us and what we want to achieve, the routine and habits around implementing those supports, and how to make adjustments to be successful.

I took a walk last evening, and I noticed the two trees in front of a neighbors house have the same red-brown leaves my little leafy sapling has (I believe he is a maple). These two trees tall and full and gracious, sharing their shade and beauty with the neighborhood. That is what I want for my little tree and, metaphorically, what I want for you as well. Have a great week!

PACT: A Different Way To Set Goals

It’s a new quarter, a new season. Today, and any day, really, is a great day to check in with your progress towards your goals.

And I want to have a new and different conversation about goals today because I have a cool new concept to share!

I had to chuckle – on this morning’s accountability call, I mentioned to my partner that I was writing an article about PACT goals for today’s podcast. And… I admitted that I started it two weeks ago, and I didn’t get it done in time to record last week. Because I had a million other things to do last Monday (like, for REAL!).

Irony? That I didn’t meet a goal to write about goals because I couldn’t / didn’t dedicate the time to get it done? Yes, I think so.

As I set my goals for Q2 in April, I glanced at my goals for Q1 of 2024, and some were “once-and-done’s”. 

  • Complete the surgical procedure on my nose – done.  (Focus Area Health and Wellness)
  • Lent and Easter, liturgically with my parish and my choir – done! (Focus Area Service)
  • Attend a specific concert on March 29  – done (and it was awesome). (Focus Area Personal / Supporting Independent Art)

However, some of the goals require more of a process, and I have goals from Q1 that migrated to Q2:

  • Make progress towards coaching certification by recording coaching clients for an upcoming deadline.
  • Make progress on a major project I am working on for NAPO, the National Association of Productivity and Organizing Professionals.
  • Attend 12 live music / independent artist concerts in 2024 (one a month).

And I would guess, you have a similar blend of once-and-done goals and also progress goals. In past articles and podcase episodes, we have talked about SMART goals, and I LOVE a good SMART Goal!  A SMART goal is:

  • Specific,
  • Measurable,
  • Attainable,
  • Relevant and
  • Time Specific

For example, here’s a SMART goal:

“I will publish new blog articles and podcast content every week this quarter until I reach 500 posts by June 1, in celebration of my company’s 21st anniversary in June.” This is specific, measurable, attainable, relevant and has a time frame attached.

Now, how will I accomplish this goal? This is NOT a once-and-done goal or event since it will take consistent effort for the next 7 weeks to accomplish.

Last Spring, I wrote an article and recorded a podcast Episode about Metrics. 

Metrics are quantifiable items we can measure, to determine progress. Achieving our goal is amazing!  Success is grand, for sure. But it is also an event.  It is a snapshot moment – goal achieved!  Done!  But more often, the work continues.

To make the goals and the work happen, from day to day, we need to bring the waypoints closer in.  We need manageable portions to bite off on a daily or weekly basis in addition to that one big goal we will accomplish at the end of a predetermined amount of time.

Enter – PACT goals. PACT goals are the tool within a tool, the intentional and incremental goals within a big, lofty SMART goal. Per Julie Simpson on Hire.com, “What are PACT Goals? The Lesser-Known Technique to Set Smarter Goals”, PACT “is a goal-setting technique that focuses on output rather than the outcome”.

PACT stands for

  • Purpose,
  • Actions,
  • Continuous and
  • Trackable.

It seems then, that often, the journey is the point.

Sometimes we need to set PACT goals to give us the support to meet our SMART goals. And sometimes we need to use PACT goals to create better habits for forever.

Let’s break this down! Purpose. Actions. Continuous and Trackable. I like the idea of continuous movement towards our goals. Let’s use my Publication Goal above as an example.

The question of “Purpose” is important for setting goals. We want to know that we are achieving what we want to achieve. That just makes sense. We want to know our purpose and we want to be purposeful (think “intentional”). And once we figure out what we are awesome at and what we are meant to do in life, as in what we want to do intentionally with our time in small and large pieces, then that’s our purpose.

When we set purposeful goals, we want to know that what we’re seeking to achieve aligns with who we are, what we want in life, etc.. And publishing high quality and supportive content for my community definitely aligns with my professional goals.

At a class last week, I heard the nicest feedback! A participant said ” You bring such positive energy!”. Yep, that’s the plan! And when it comes to our goals, we want to be purposeful, we want to be intentional, and to know that the goal that we are setting fits into the context of who we are and what we want in life.

And since success towards my publishing goal is not something I can just knock out the day before my June 1 deadline, I need to be intentional on how I spend my time in the next 7 weeks. I need to PURPOSEFUL in my actions.

And, on to Action! Action, because we’re talking about goal setting here, right? We’re talking about making progress. We’re talking about moving forward. All of those words are active words.

Progress requires action almost all the time. What are the actions that we need to take to move us towards our PACT goals? Working towards the publication goal, my actions have included in the last week spending 30 minutes each day on the project:

  • Review my voice memos on my phone, rename them and send them as an attachment to my email.
  • Upload to the transcription service that I use and have all the unpublished memos transcribed.
  • Match up all the voice memos / transcriptions with my list of published articles and podcast topics, and delete any duplicates.
  • Add the unpublished topics to my editorial content calendar.

And now that I know what I want to write about and publish, I will carve out an hour on the calendar 3 – 4 days a week for writing / editing.

And, since PACT goals need to be trackable, every one of those steps I listed above is trackable with metrics. I went from 30 voice memos down to 10. I went from 45 transcriptions down to 11. I increased, after deleting many duplicate topics, from 20 to 35 topics on my editorial calendar. And now I can track “writing minutes” weekly as progress towards the goal. Action.

Next up, and forever – Continuous.

Purpose and Actions are easy to see, but I think what sets PACT goals apart are the Continuous and Trackable aspects.

Let’s talk about continuous and trackable. Using as an example, my goal of publication by June 1. I’ve set my intentions, I have determined my actions. Now I need to do them! What would continuous progress look like towards my goal look like? I can determine that, and then make the progress towards that goal. And beyond, of course, because I have a waypoint, a milestone in mind, but I certainly won’t stop writing after the June 1 deadline.

I need to take action every day or multiple times a week. Continuous might not mean every minute of every day, but it certainly will mean regular consistent, continuous progress towards the goal.

Perhaps a wellness goal is a good example, too – 30 minutes of cardio 5 times a week is purposeful, continuous and trackable action, and a habit that will help you for life. As I mentioned earlier, sometimes the journey is the point.

Finally, let’s talk “Trackable”.

How do we make progress happen? How do we measure progress and not just “I’m feeling better about the process” or “I am less stressed with writing”, or “I am having more fun”.

Progress” is sometimes difficult to quantify. But when we determine our purpose and actions, and the interval which makes them continuous, we can track progress. In my example, I can track articles published, words written, minutes or hours worth of writing or editing, engagement with my readers by number of likes or shares, etc. These are trackable items. Which also means, I can track improvements from week to week by paying attention to trends in the tracking.

How far have you come? What have you accomplished so far? Reviewing your tracking, what can you do to improve the process?

In addition to catching up on my writing process, which is what my actions in the past week were about, I can also track my progress moving forward. I have re-set my content process and will continue with these new strategies for a few weeks. And then I can look and see if my output has improved over that time. If it has – yeah! If it has not, I probably need to review and adjust my strategies.

To Review:

Setting PACT goals is a strategy that focuses on the process and not just the end product. We can use PACT goals with SMART goals, as the support to accomplish our SMART goals. OR we can use PACT goals as a method of continuous improvement. PACT stands for Purpose, Action, Continuous and Trackable, and can be used to help us focus on the process of progress and not just the event of achieving a goal.

I hope you found this helpful. If you would like to comment, please share with me on social media or drop me an email at colleen@peaceofmindpo.com, or drop me a DM on one of my social media platforms. I can’t wait to hear about how PACT goals helped you move forward.

Time Management Is Stress Management

Have I mentioned? I have this great opportunity multiple times a year.  I teach time and stress management to students in the Highway Construction Careers Training Program, or HCCTP, at two different community colleges in the area.

Let me trace it back. Here’s a reminder that we never know how far our ripples will reach. I owe this opportunity to connections that I made in a professional speaker’s group over 10 years ago now.

And I have to laugh, because there’s so many people that I’m still connected with to this day through that speaker’s group, even though the group disbanded a few years ago. Still connections, friends, network partners, whatever you want to call them, that I met in that professional speaking group.  Many industries were represented, what brought us together was professional speaking.

There was a nutritionist, an insurance broker who I’m still friends with today and who also has a podcast on the Broadcast Basement network.  There was a financial planner who does financial planning presentations, and I’m still connected to him to this day. A friend and network partner who interviewed me on her YouTube channel last Spring, Sabrina Schottenhammel, is a massage therapist and professional speaker and wellness advocate.  And a friend and network partner, Alexandra Glumac, is affiliated with South Suburban College and she is why I started teaching this program, long ago and far away!

I teach time and stress management to the HCCTP hosted at South Suburban College, the Oak Forest campus. They have 4 or 5 groups of students through the program every year.  And because of my experience at South Suburban College, I also teach for a similar program at Kankakee Community College. I get to teach awesome groups of people about time management and stress management.   I started to write today’s episode and article content as I parted ways with Class number 32 last week.  I told them I would give them a shout out.  So, hey, Class 32!  It was great to meet you all!

I started teaching this course around Class number 3 or 4. These groups are in class for 12 weeks, and I speak to them on time management and stress management in their first week of class.  That makes a lot of sense, because by being brave and taking on this coursework, they need time and stress management to make their lives work in the midst of this extra busy time.

And I’m going to be completely transparent.  The stress management is more stressful for me. I know that’s weird, but it’s the truth. Time management is productivity, and hey – that is where I live. That is my jam. That’s what I do. Productivity. Yep. Sign me up. I could talk to you for hours about productivity.  And I probably have, over time.

But the 4 hours of stress management content is newer for this group.  I have only done that 3 or 4 times.  And I’m still trying to get the best right combination of content. My goal is to not stress people out with a lot of work while making sure my participants have the tools they need to succeed.  That is my goal for these groups every time I meet them, to give them tools in their life. And I love that!  I have the coolest job.  And I meet the coolest people. Class 32 challenged me. When they found out I had a podcast, they wanted an episode dedicated just to them.

And here we are.  I can absolutely do that.

We tackled both time management and stress management last week.  And here is the secret, right here.  This is what guides my practices. I feel that so many of the practices that we use in time management are also useful for stress management.

When we feel out of control, unproductive, out of sorts, you know, maxed out because we’re always late, or we never feel like we have enough time to do what we need to do or what we want to do. We don’t feel like we’re making time for the people in our lives. We don’t feel like we’re making time for ourselves.  These are all very stressful situations. And did you hear the words that I said in those statements? Time. Time.

Here’s the premise for today.  I will declare that time management is positively and irrevocably entwined with stress management and stress reduction. Making sure that we’re doing right by that is going to help everything else go better.

If we can get clear on what we want to accomplish in the course of our day and then make it happen, yes, it’s a management of time, but that also decreases our stress levels. We can recognize that and we can work with it.

Here is what our agendas looked like.  In our time management workshops, we begin talking about routines and how our routines can support the things that we need to, to make sure our needs are met in a consistent and regular way. And I’ve talked about routines in other episodes.

In class, we discuss sleep hygiene. Sleep hygiene is the routine we have around getting good sleep.  And we know getting good sleep increases overall health and decreases stress.

We watch a couple cheesy videos from early 2000s on productivity, and talk about priorities and planning and goal setting. We look at Priorities and the Eisenhower box, which I know that I have done an episode before about, I’ve always liked that tool. It’s such a great tool. Because knowing we’re working on what is important decreases stress and increases life satisfaction.

In our time together, because these are students in a highway construction careers training program, we talk about project management. I don’t always talk about project management, it’s a very specific need. These folks are going to be working on projects, though, so we take a first glance at project management to get a feel for how they fit into the bigger picture on a project.

Finally, in time management, we talk through procrastination. Because conquering that delay-for-no-good-reason increases productivity and decreases stress.

The next day, in the stress management component, we talked more about routines. We also talked about Maslow’s hierarchy of needs because we need to be able to identify needs so we can ensure they are consistently met. Because otherwise we get stressed! It is stressful when needs are not met. Physical, safety, psychological, esteem, etc. 

This week, I also shared learning styles with this group.   Learning styles were the topic of last week’s episode. I like the stress management content that I wrote because it is all about the person.  The individual.  There were so many really cool aha ah moments.

We were talking about learning styles, and I mentioned that some of us think in pictures, and some of us think in words, and some of us think in commercials or scenes.  That some of us read the words in front of us, and some of us actually sound the words out in our head when we read.

Just knowing that there’s a difference is so important. A lot of our stress management was talking about awareness.  Self-awareness. Awareness of how we are showing up in the moment.  In coaching, awareness is the first goal.

We talked a lot about that in stress management. We talk about physical awareness.  Like physical needs, and also, you know, awareness of where our stress is in our body. For example, if I’m stressed, my face flushes and my shoulders get tense.  If we know what stress feels like, we can identify it more readily and take steps to decrease it for our own wellness.  I really love that, that physical awareness, that physical scanning of ourselves.

Apparently I do it a lot because a couple of my class participants noted “yeah, you do that all the time”.  I didn’t realize anybody else noticed that, but that’s okay.

Along the lines of checking in physically for stress management, we also practiced square breathing both days. Because to be honest, square breathing is a tool I use EVERY DAY.  If you’re not familiar, it’s a breathing technique where we breathe in for 4 beats, hold the breath for 4 breaths, exhale for 4 breaths and hold the exhale for 4 breaths.  That’s it.  Don’t push it, don’t rush it, don’t make it unnatural.  Just focus on your breathing for 5 – 7 cyles of square breathing.  A 90 second vacation.  It’s lovely. 

So, to recap:

It is great to teach these group, and Class 32, it was lovely to meet you.

Time and stress management are related.  If we can get a handle on our time as a limited and valuable resource, if we can do better with our time management, that will absolutely help us with our stress management as well.

When we better manage our routines, priorities, projects, procrastination, goals, bodies and wellness and sleep and breath – stress goes down.

So those are all time management things. But it sounds a lot like stress management to me, too, right? Time management is also stress management.

I’ll never say we can be stress free. And stress isn’t always bad.  Some stress helps us to perform better.  My concern about teaching Stress Management meant that the night before the class, I made sure to check my bag and make sure that I had everything I needed to teach the group today. It was the elevated stress that helped me to be a better teacher today and to work with my group better. That’s good stress.

But long term stress can cause mental and physical problems.  The nagging, long term, you know, heavy weight of stress sometimes that can absolutely cause us trouble. And again, in transparency, I have been in a very stressful season personally and I really need to rev up my self care. So when life gets more stressful, I know it doesn’t make sense, but we actually need to do more to care for ourselves than we normally would because the demands are so much greater on us. And again, I think I need to say that out loud to myself as well.

In stressful times, we need to do more to care for ourselves because the demands are so much greater on our systems, psychological system, physical system, whatever that looks like. Getting good at time management decreases stress. Yes, let’s do that!

How Does Your Brain Work? Learning Styles

Learning Styles: Does This Sound Like You?

  • “I’m more of a visual person.”
  • “I really need to talk some things out.”
  • If I hear a song once, I remember the words.”
  • “I’m more of a hands-on person.”
  • “If I drive to your house once, I will always remember how to get there.”

Yes, yes and yes!

Today, let’s talk about learning styles. In coaching, we call them processing modalities. I am going to use the terms “learning styles” and “modalities” interchangeably.  Our processing modalities are how OUR brain best deals with information.  These learning styles are part of what makes you you, but they are not character or personality traits. They are the paths your brain uses to process and cement information and turn it into something useful for you.

The most common ones, or at least the ones we will talk about today, are

  • Visual,
  • Auditory,
  • Verbal and
  • Kinesthetic (and relatedly, Tactile).

Simply put, visual processors learn by seeing, auditory learners learn by hearing, verbal learners learn by speaking, and kinesthetic and tactile processors learn by doing.

It is helpful for us to understand that there are learning styles, that everyone is a blend of learning styles – you and me and everyone else that you interact with – and how to support our blend and the blend of the people we interact with.  Knowing you are a blend, and I am a blend, and that every other person in your life is their own blend of learning styles gets us closer to awareness, acceptance and understanding.

An important thing to remember is that you have options. Options on how to support your own learning styles, and options on how to manage yourself with other people whose learning style is different than yours.

When you think of a traditional classroom, consider all the ways the teachers engage multiple learning styles.  We read aloud, or listen to the teacher or other students read aloud, or we may listen to a recording.  We may use our hands and use manipulatives in math, or word cards on our desk in ELA. We write our own notes, we look at things around the room or on the board, we might move around to stations or act out a scene from literature or history.  There are many ways to reinforce learning styles.

We all possess all of the learning styles, but we each our own special blend of strengths.  The styles or modalities show up differently in each of us at times, too. When he was little, I thought one of my sons was being difficult because we didn’t see things the same way.  And the answer is, we absolutely DID NOT see the things the same way.  And, that’s ok. 

When we talked it through, he and I discovered that he is a visual learner and that when I told him to go in and clean his room, he saw everything in his room as one thing, one composite item.  He would get overwhelmed.  It was difficult for him to break down the big composite item into smaller pieces of the room, like making his bed, then putting the laundry on the floor into the hamper and hanging up his baseball cap.  Once we figured out that we literally didn’t see things the same way, we figured out how I could change my language and he could change how he looked at things and then we started to communicate better.

Now that we know that there are learning styles, and that we all have our own strengths in those learning styles, let’s look at how we can use that knowledge to navigate our life.

I will use myself as a case study:

I am strong in multiple modalities, which is quite common.  One of my strengths is auditory learning. I am a really good listener, which serves me well in my role as an organizational coach and musician. And, that can also be a problem because I get stressed out with prolonged or chaotic loud noise. I LOVE and I mean LOVE a good concert, either seated in plushy seats listening to a full orchestra but more so, in a bar listening to one of our favorite bands.  AND, though I love the concert, I’m also somewhat relieved to walk outside in relative quiet to let my brain process all of the awesome new input I just experienced.  Both can be true.

I am also a professional speaker and singer.  Not surprisingly, I am a strong verbal learner. For myself, I know that I benefit from talking through challenges and ideas, and very often I gain awareness when I hear myself say something out loud. And I can get to a point some days that I am talked out.  I am a verbal learner, but I dislike talking on the phone. I would rather speak in person. I am aware of my learning styles, how they show up for me, how to manage me and what tools I can use as I go through my day.

So, let’s look at the specific learning styles.

A visual processor:

  • learns by seeing, or imagining something in their mind;
  • recognizes patterns;
  • appreciates aesthetics; and
  • appreciates visual representations like graphs or pictures.
  • Ways to work as a visual processor:
    • use color to indicate category or priority, in our homes or professional life;
    • use highlighters or fun colors of ink in writing;
    • make a good list or map of things, take pictures of things to help you remember;
    • be purposeful in the physical arrangement of space; and
    • become aware that we are impacted by visual stimuli.
    • For example, to support my visual learning, I request communications in text or email form so that I can refer back to it if I need reminders.
  • Times it can get in the way:
    • one visual learner may want to see everything all the time and doesn’t put things away;
    • another visual learner may get distracted or overwhelmed by seeing everything, and we need to put it away behind a closed door; and
    • for some visual learners, if they don’t see something, it ceases to exist for them.

An auditory learner:

  • learns by listening, hearing and even reading (we often hear the words in our head);
  • remembers things by how they sound, or what they were hearing when they learned it;
  • may hum or talk to themselves or others; and
  • may learn ideas while listening to favorite music, instrumental music, white noise or other noisescapes, or silence, depending on the person.
  • Ways to work with it:
    • learn new material by reading flashcards, directions, stories or assignments out loud;
    • record yourself spelling words or working through new content, and then listen to the recording;
    • use mantras or repeated phrases to reinforce an idea or learning; and
    • listen to podcasts, or use recordings, books on tape, or having test questions read to you out loud to help you study.
  • Times it can get in the way:
    • auditory learners rely heavily on hearing, but can also become overwhelmed with loud, chaotic, off-key or repetitious sounds; and
    • as with all learning styles, age and health can have an impact, for example, our hearing acuity changes with age, so we need to get our hearing checked regularly.

A verbal learner:

  • learns by speaking and expressing themselves, by “talking it out”;
  • is often strong in written communications, too, and reading and writing; and
  • is often strong with auditory learning.
  • Ways to work with it:
    • many of the tools with an auditory learner works with a verbal learner, too, as we are doing the reading of the materials; or
    • learn new material by reading flashcards, directions, stories or assignments out loud;
    • For example, I often “write” my articles while I commute or travel.  I open the Voice Memo app on my Iphone, and record my article, then use a transcription website to turn it into text. And at rehearsal the other night, I used the voice record to text option to send a text for follow up, and this sparked a conversation among my choir members.
  • Times it can get in the way:
    • as I mentioned in my case study, verbal learners can get talked out; and
    • verbal learners may speak too much, disrupting themselves and others.

Kinesthetic and tactile leaners:

  • learn by touching, doing, moving, building or drawing.
  • Kinesthetic learners use major muscle groups and gross motor skills;
  • tactile learners work more with fine motor skills and their hands;
  • learn best when there is some sort of movement involved with the experience;
  • learn by taking things apart and putting them back together; and
  • communicate with your whole body, physically and by touch.
  • Ways to work with it:
    • floor plans, maps;
    • factor in activity, gravitate towards sports or careers that incorporate movement;
    • physically manipulate learning tools like flash cards into categories, topics, etc.;
    • accept gum chewing, fidgeting, tinkering and taking physical breaks;
    • do hands-on activities that involve touching, building, moving, acting or drawing; or
    • offer to be the note taker in a group setting, to use the activity to keep your mind engaged.
  • Times it can get in the way:
    • a K or T learner may struggle if and when they are physically fatigued, injured or sore, or if space does not permit movement;
    • it is difficult to sit still and you may need to take frequent breaks;
    • fidgeting and movement may be mis-construed as lack of focus or impulse control in a traditional class room setting.

I could write forever about learning styles, but this is a good place to start.

Consider the different learning styles mentioned, and reflect on which one or ones resonate with you the most. Consider some of the tips suggested to help you in your day-to-day experiences. And take an active interest in the learning styles of the people around you as well, to foster communication and support!

P.S. I write this with gratitude to Denslow Brown with Coach Approach for Organizers, https://coachapproachtraining.com/, where I first learned about learning styles and processing modalities.

How To Get Back On Track

When naming this article and episode, I tried Catawampus – as in, “when it all goes catawampus”, but my SEO score on my blog did not think that was a good idea. Noted.

I was a guest on the EP podcast episode that dropped last Tuesday, March 12.

We recorded on Monday, March 11th because that is the day I record my episode, too. And I was a guest on the EP Podcast because Chris, my producer, had a family emergency over the weekend with his 18 year old daughter. And she’s fine. Healing well.

And everybody’s fine in my house too. Everybody’s okay. We’ll start with that.

But we talked through, first of all, the situation and that it was crazy for them, I know. And then the question he asked me was, “After the fact, what do you do to pick up the pieces?” You’ve been through this dramatic and potentially traumatic situation and what do you do to get back on track?

In his situation, he has children other than the post-surgical one to take care of. He needs to take care of his daughter while she recovers. Anything he had planned for that day and also for the days to follow obviously just went out the window because, well, that’s what the situation required.

We’re going to do it because it needs done and we’re going to do it because our kids win and because we love them. And guys, I really do love you. So if you’re listening – well, I don’t think my kids listen to my podcast, but some of their friends do. And then we pick up the pieces and get back to normal, get back to work.

Here’s the twist. We recorded at noon on Monday because we usually record at noon on Mondays. We have systems for these things and everything else. I’m still like a week behind. I’d like to get back on track with that personally. That is a leftover from my recent surgery.

My college age son was home for his Spring Break and there was an incident and he lost consciousness in the kitchen. I’ll leave it at that. It was scary. He ended up going to the ER in an ambulance. So, a shout out to the Evergreen Park Fire Department, the EMTs when we called 911 were awesome and competent and kind. They took care of business, they took care of my son, they loaded him up and we went to the hospital.

One thing Chris mentioned on his episode was that his 18 year old was still eligible for the pediatric ER, and if you have to choose, the pediatric ER is a better place for a young person than the regular ER. And I found it surreal that, within 8 hours of having that conversation with him, I found myself in the front seat of an ambulance while they unloaded my 19 year old in the ambulance bay next to the door labeled Pediatric ER at Christ Hospital.

Never, in no imagination of my day could I have foreseen that I would be confirming that information from him within 8 hours of recording that episode. But there we were. And to repeat, he’s fine. My son’s fine. And I have his permission to write about and talk about this. He’s ok.

Let me make the rest of this very long story short. We were there for 24 more hours. We arrived around 7:30 pm Monday. They ran tests and started the admission process at 11 pm. He was finally discharged from the ER at 08:00 pm on Tuesday night, they had not yet found him a bed in 24 hours

When you’re in the ER, you gain perspective. Obviously, other people were having a much worse time of life than we were. My son’s ok.

Simple things. My son was in the ER but he had a room with doors. A lot of people didn’t. He didn’t have a bathroom or a shower, and I didn’t sleep at all because the room is not set up with a chair for a non-patient to sleep in. I never pulled an all-nighter in college, that didn’t happen until I was a parent!

We had family and friends texting and checking in on us, with offers of support and assistance if we needed anything. I am so grateful. And I’m grateful for Greg, my husband, so that we could tag team and I could go home for a few hours of sleep when he came back first thing Tuesday morning because we didn’t want to miss any of the doctors in consultation, etc.

But as Chris mentioned, once the dust settles, right, after all this happens, then what? When you look around your house and you realize that all of the routines that you normally have that support your life were completely abandoned, for a few days. Where do you start? Where?

I’ve talked about emergencies recently. I had a recent surgery as well. Five weeks ago I had surgery on my nose. It was planned. It was February 13, but I had known about it since the end of November. It wasn’t news. It ended up being more complex, more invasive, and I had a lot more downtime and a lot more healing that I needed to do. That was news, but the schedule was already cleared, I had no expectations of myself already. It wasn’t an emergency, it was a hassle. I won’t say it was fun. I’m still not done healing. I still have swelling and follow up appointments. It’s not don, but for the most part, I’m good to go.

But trips to the ER, for your daughter and her appendix, for my son in the ER for 24 hours and a lot of diagnostics to determine what’s going on and what to follow up on. Those are emergencies. They both have had good outcomes so far. I know it could be worse. Oh, my God, do I know it could be worse.

Once the emergency has passed, now what? What do we do to get back on track?

I came home at 830 Tuesday morning after tagging my husband out at the hospital, having not slept for 27 hours. I set up my phone and apple watch to charge, took a shower, brushed my teeth, had a really big glass of water and slept for 2 hours. Then I got up and I made sure things were taken care of, sent a few emails, took a shower, got dressed, grabbed a protein shake for the road and headed back up to the hospital.

On Tuesday night, when we were finally discharged, we asked the question again.

First things first: We’re headed home, do we need to eat? We can pick up something on the way.
All right, I’m going to drop you guys off, and go to the pharmacy for my son’s prescriptions.

Anything we need grocery wise? No? Okay. We just had people over, so we have a full fridge of food.

Everybody was comfortable and happy.

Next, Laundry. Unpack the bag from the hospital Yes, let’s start a load of laundry.

Next, let’s make sure maintenance has been occurring. Load the dishwasher, bring in the mail, make sure that there’s no packages out front.

None of this new. I think that was the point that I made when I talked to with Chris on his podcast. We don’t do new stuff. We take a minute and remember what our routines are. And routines are there to help us make sure that our needs are being consistently met. That’s what routines do for us. And so first things first, we’re to check in on the needs. Needs are food, clothing, shelter, safety, warmth. Right? Basic bottom level of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs?

Check in on those, make sure that all of those are functioning. Food, clothing, shelter, safety, warmth. Once we take care of those needs, then we can move up the list.

Now, when we got home from the hospital, finally, it was after 08:00 on Tuesday night after very little sleep. At that point, another need, very rapidly was becoming sleep. I could have tried to do more, but it wouldn’t have worked. Sleep is also a need, and that was the answer. Meeting needs consistently so that everybody can continue to function in survival. I’d love to get into optimal thriving mode. But first things first is survival. Food, clothing, shelter, safety, warmth, right? I mean, that’s where we got to start.

So, when in doubt, that’s where we spend our first hours of attention, is making sure that those needs are met for the moment. In the moment. Then, how to continue to meet those needs for the next couple of hours and then days. We start with needs, we start small, we start with what is right in front of us. We don’t need to do the big stuff right now.

So to recap: First things first. Having routines, very helpful routines, helped me to grab what I needed to grab, throw it all in my backpack (which is my purse) that is always sitting in the same place and run out the door with the ambulance people. Anybody I need to contact was already programmed in my phone. All of my apps are up to date. Everything is up to date. My wallet has our insurance card and has all of John’s information, all of my son’s information.

There are things that maintenance, that routines absolutely provided. My son is otherwise in good health. I’m in good health. Maintaining good health eliminates helped rule out some potential problems because he’s in otherwise good health.

When emergencies happen, that’s it. That is where you need to be. Everything else needed to fall away. With my son is the only place I need to be. The rest of life will all be waiting for me when I get back, for better or for worse.

But that’s the answer. So we create routines because in the heat of it, in the heart of it, in crazy times, we need to have those structures in place to keep things going. So we have habits around needs, so those needs continue to be consistently met. And to give us the habits, the reminders of how to get back to some semblance of normal when our days haven’t necessarily looked normal.

Start with needs. Start with what is right in front of you. Don’t create something new, but get back to your routines. And that, my friends, is how to get back on track.

Body Doubling and “How Does Finish Line Friday Work”?

How Does Finish Line Friday Work? And, What Is Body Doubling?

I’d like to reintroduce body doubling. 

I was driving to a client appointment as I started to dictate this content out loud.  One benefit of slowly easing back into in-person clients this week is that I increased my commute time. I don’t really look forward to commuting time, but it is also uninterrupted time for me to think, and that is helpful! 

I like to be productive with my time. And while I love quiet uninterrupted time, there is still something to be said about working with other people, too! Enter, body doubling.

My phone has a name, my laptop has a name. Believing that there is somebody on the receiving end of what I have to say anchors me to the space. Believing that someone is expecting me and someone’s on the other side of that anchors me so I don’t get distracted.

A new community member reached out to me via email.  I believe she has started following me and my content in the last few months at one of my recent presentations. She visited a recent Finish Line Friday and wasn’t sure how it all works.  So, this is for you, Karen. I will endeavor to explain more clearly what exactly Finish Line Friday is, and how we use the strategy of Body Doubling and the Pomodoro Method of time management to increase productivity.

Body doubling is a productivity tool, a strategy, call it what you would like. In my own experiences and with my clients, body doubling helps us be more productive. Body doubling is one of the many perks of working with a professional organizer because having a person with you in your space as you work can be very motivating. It anchors us to the work and the space.  

Same goes for coaching. Body doubling is absolutely vital. For example, early in the pandemic lock down, a number of my clients struggled with the new phenomenon of unattached work time, of working virtually for the first time and it was not working for them.  They did not feel that they were being as productive as they could be, because it turns out that being around other people who were also working on similar things helped them to stay on track.

There were hours when I would sit in a zoom room or on Facetime with a client and they were doing their work and I was doing my work, and that would help my client stay on track. If a question came up, I’d be happy to answer it or I was ready to listen attentively. One client in particular would sometimes need to verbally work through something because she’s a verbal processor, and we would do this parallel play, this body doubling, for a few hours at a time because she knew that she needed support around some of the tougher projects.

Body doubling isn’t needed for every task.  You are a capable, productive person.  But some tasks are harder to tackle than others, and that is when we bring in tools. 

My middle son lives alone, but in community, in theater housing. He has his own apartment but he and his fellow actors all live in the same apartment complex.  He mentioned that there are times when he needs to get things done. Maybe he needs to tackle a project that he’s having some kind of mental or motivational block around, and he’ll have his friend come over and she can work on whatever she wants to work on or play video games, it really doesn’t matter. That’s not the point. he point is, having somebody else physically in his space keeps him from getting distracted.  She doesn’t have to remind him, it’s just her presence that will remind him.   He calls it Parallel Play, like when two year olds play next to each other on the floor with some blocks.  They’re developmentally too young to play together but they play with their own thing side by side.

Finish Line Friday is like parallel play. And here is how it works:

Finish Line Friday uses the Pomodoro method of 25 minutes of work and five minutes of rest.  Studies have shown the most efficient and effective ratio of work to rest is 52 minutes and ten minutes. For every 52 minutes of work, we need ten minutes of rest. And after three or four cycles of that, we need a longer period of rest. Imagine you start your workday at nine. You work from nine to 9:50 then take a 10 minute break. You work from ten to 1050, take a 10 minute break. You work eleven to 11:50, and then maybe you take half an hour for lunch. Right?  So, this cycle is something we may already be familiar with.

As a participant in Finish Line Friday the other day said, we know these things, but it’s really helpful to hear them said out loud by others.

Finish Line Friday helps us get into the healthy and productive habit of 50 minutes of work and 10 minutes of rest. 

In practice, for Finish Line Friday:

  • We all hop into the zoom room at 9 am;   
  • We arrive with our own work for the 2 hour session;
  • We spend a few minutes chatting;
  • We set our intentions for our first 25 minutes of work;
  • I share my screen with a 25-minute countdown clock, counting down to the next 5 minute break.
  • Then, I mute all of us, though we can stay on screen.  That’s how that works.
  • We work for the 25 minutes, check in for the break with another 5 minute countdown clock, and start all over again.
  • And we just do that for four cycles. 
  • There are not assignments, at least not from me!  Come to us with your own agenda, with your own work, with your own ideas about what you want to get done.

Yes, I’m happy to talk to you about productivity or triaging your to-do list or prioritizing.  We can absolutely do that in the breaks or in the chat.  I facilitate productivity, but we are working side by side. We are working together on our own things, myself included. We all come with our own agenda, and I supply the structure and the community. 

I supply the structure and the community. That’s Finish Line Friday. 

Recently, the work has included: 

  • one participant was uploading artwork to a shared drive;
  • another was getting ready for houseguest and was grateful for a 2 hour block of time, knowing that they would get some stuff done, maybe talk to people on the break, and have fun (and that is FLF does for them);
  • a first-time participant was excited to get through a couple of planning tasks and then start working on a professional project; and
  • I cleaned out my in-boxes, wrapped up messages for the week, then moved on to writing presentation content for a project I’m working on for my national association. 

Now that I have more fully explained Finish Line Friday, please assemble your to-do list and plan to join us for a Friday morning of getting things done!

Eliminate Brain Clutter With A Cranial Cleanse

In a recent Finish Line Friday session, one of my regular participants mentioned she was working on “The Smalls” during our time together.  She explained that it was the end of a very busy week.  She had been home long enough between events and appointments to make piles but not to put away the piles. She said “Every room had a pile of smalls.”

And the other participants nodded understandingly because we’ve all been there.  Regularly!

That always makes me smile. Not because someone is struggling, but because most of us understand what “The Smalls” means.

And because the words  – The Smalls – sound funny to me and many people express frustration about The Smalls, in sometimes passionate and colorful language! For example, I have another friend and client who, when I ask her what we’re working on today, will occasionally say “The Smalls, Coll!  It’s The Smalls!” with perhaps some frustration and colorful words!

Here’s the thing:

The Smalls can be physical things in our spaces.

They can be a jumble of papers on the kitchen counter, the pile of Lego bits, Barbie shoes and puzzle pieces at the bottom of a bin of toys, or the contents of an everything drawer in the kitchen. (I personally don’t call them junk drawers, because if you call it a junk drawer, guess what ends up inside?)  If the person I mentioned in my first example is like me, the smalls in every room that she mentioned are bag contents from meetings and events, random clothing items or shoes at the back door that have been cycled through and now need to be put away, neglected amazon boxes and mail at the front door, etc.

Bear in mind, none of these items is technically clutter.  They are all things we obviously need, use or love – they just need tended to.

But they pile and they distract and they call out to us for attention and energy.

Which leads me to – The Smalls can be thoughts and ideas in our brains.

“Small” doesn’t indicate importance, or in the definition of “small”, perhaps un-importance, but instead their size.  “The Smalls” means that SO MANY MORE can fit in a space.  Like I have 100 ideas or to-dos or tasks in my brain and they’re all crammed in there making each look small. And they’re all clamoring to get out!

Some of the challenges with The Smalls, either on the kitchen counter or in our brain:

  • There are MANY.
  • They aren’t just clutter.  They are likely important and require care and attention.
  • Right now, they are unsorted and un-categorized.
  • They are not prioritized in order of importance.
  • We believe that the small are important.  And we don’t want them to get lost.
  • We fear The Smalls will get lost.  We fear that brilliant blog post idea that just came to us will disappear, then we worry about that so long that it does disappear, or we forget other things while we spend mental energy on trying to REMEMBER EVERYTHING!
  • The Smalls DO get lost, and then we forget appointments, emergencies happen, feelings are hurt, etc.

Another regular participant in my Finish Lind Friday productivity sessions has used great imagery when we talk about what we plan to accomplish that day.

Imagine a room full of helium balloons with strings attached.

Now, gesture with your hands to collect those strings.  That is what she is often working on, on a Friday. Gathering loose ends, she calls it, with that gesture. Gathering them together.

And a coaching client, in our time working together, even created her own Loose Ends List, to collect The Smalls and all the other ideas / thoughts / tasks that occur to her and then require completion.

I want to applaud all four people that I have mentioned – they identify The Smalls, they identified the need to consistently collect The Smalls, and they have habits and ways to collect and deal with them.

Two Big Ideas this week.

In the interest of writing this article this week, I opened up my copy of “Getting Things Done: The Art of Stress-Free Productivity” by David Allen, thinking I needed to re-read it to write this article. And I am … proud? Relieved? Yes, those feelings and more, to find out that since I read this book many years ago, I implemented and am still doing many of the things he talks about (and he talks about them clearly and concisely and the book is totally worth the read.) And I can do better, and I will share more about this book and his process in future podcasts and articles.

First big idea, this is a great book, check it out (and I mean, actually check it out of your local library – no need to buy it!).

To get started, though, in Getting Things Done, David Allen talks about collection. How first, we need to COLLECT all the thoughts and ideas in our head and get them out of our head and into a more user friendly, time specific, prioritized form.  He mentioned, among other things, a Mind Sweep.

Others call it a Brain dump, though I find that an inelegant phrase. My friend Jen recommended Cranial Cleanse when I asked my community for a better term for Brain Dump.

Whatever we call it, Mind Sweep or Cranial cleanse, it is a great place to start.

And it requires a place to put the collected items. For me, that means my Bullet Journal first, to collect items.  Then I insert them into my master to – do list to prioritize and take action.

But let’s talk about the collecting. I no longer do a cranial cleanse like David Allen recommends, as in, an event, because it is a constant process for me – I am ALWAYS doing a cranial cleanse.

For example, when I am working or out running errands, thoughts occur to me, like an idea or a task that needs completed, and I quickly jot it down.

Because…

Have You Noticed? Another problem is that very often a thought or idea or task occurs to us at a moment when we do not have time to act on it.

This

Happens

To

Me

All

The

Time.

I have noticed that certain events generate more thoughts and ideas.  For example, when I am driving.

When driving, my brain is focused on driving but also open to outside stimuli (which is a good thing while driving), subsequently ideas often come to me while I drive.  OR while I cook, or while I’m in the shower.

This goes back to the recent podcast and newsletter that talks about If I Don’t Write It Down, It Doesn’t Exist. 

The other side of that is, If I don’t capture and collect the ideas when they occur, they continue to float around in my brain with nowhere to go, and that makes things very crowded up there with all The Smalls! 

My suggestion, then, for all of this week – the Second Big Idea – is to have a trusted place to collect the ideas and cultivate a habit of collecting them.

I love my Bullet Journal, and that will be a live webinar sometime soon to look at how to make Bullet Journaling happen for you – but the take away is that I have ONE PLACE to write things down. 

It goes with me everywhere.

It is always ready to collect the ideas and safely hold on to them. To get all The Smalls out of my brain so there is room and space to actually get some work done.

And then I have the regular daily habit of reviewing those ideas, prioritizing and activating those ideas and putting them into  my master-to-do list or on the calendar, etc.

We can’t avoid The Smalls, and really, we don’t want to.  The Smalls are where it’s at, sometimes!  The genius is in The Smalls!  But not when all of the Smalls are cramped together in our brain. 

We need the habit of moving The Smalls out of our brain and into a trusted collector. And then the habit of prioritizing and acting on them, too!  This is how we get things done.