Tag: Self Care

Self-Care in Little Bite-Size Pieces. Or Perhaps a Smoothie.

It took 40+ years (okay, closer to 50), 20 of those as a mom, but I’m finally figuring out Self Care, and the difference between Self Care and Me Time.

First of all, can we just call it something else?  My friend Jan clarified for me – Self Care is investing in good habits now to help Future You later.  So, some days, it seems self-care is actually survival.  It’s taking care of the basics of life, so there is something left in us at the end of the day.  For a long time, “Self-Care” seemed too selfish and warm and fuzzy for me, but now I understand how essential it truly is.

I coach people in Time Management all the time, but “Me Time”?  Well, Me Time still escapes  me.  Perhaps it was the 12 minutes of reading the new Dan Brown book before nodding off last night, or relaxing with some yard maintenance on a beautiful sunny day.  That will have to be good enough for now, and I’m ok with that.

Here, friends, is organizer insight applied to Self Care.  Read on, or not.  It’s up to you.

Be Nice To You.
I’m not terribly judgmental… except of myself.   Even if I notice a shortcoming in someone else, I try to accept it with compassion or just let it go… except when it’s me.  Conversely – and you can tell me if this is true for you or not, as well – I also have the utmost faith in my own abilities to do pretty much everything, and all at the same time.  Until human fallibility comes in, and then I’m back to being overly judgmental of myself.

So, my first suggestion for self care for you and for me  is to be nice to you, and show yourself the same compassion you show others.

Also, be nice to you because you may be the only one who knows you are suffering.  This is not because your loved ones don’t care.  They might not notice that you’re having a rough time.  Perhaps you have made life seem so easy for so long that no one even worries about you, or it may just take too darned long to explain or ask for care.  Like so many things, this may be up to you, dear.

Nourish yourself.
Feed yourself with healthy foods, and do it regularly.  Start with you, so you have energy to help others.  This is how I ended an email yesterday morning to my accountability partner:  ” Ok, cutting this short.  Heading to a hoarding clean-out, so nice Colleen is going to take care of future Colleen by spending the next 10 minutes making a healthy smoothie, packing a healthy lunch and dressing for safety.”

Figure out how to make nourishing yourself easier.  I spent part of my dinner-making time Sunday prepping food for the week.  I cleaned and cut produce, hard boiled eggs (my preferred packed-lunch on the go), and pre-bagged some snacks.  Preparing a Sunday dinner is relaxing to me, so it makes sense for me to hang out in the kitchen for a few more minutes.  Not so for you?  Don’t worry.  Cut corners, seriously, anywhere you can.

Take your nourishment with you.  As my son and I headed to school before I went to yesterday’s client, I placed my go mugs in my van cup holders, saying “Life Blood” (coffee) and “Breakfast” (my Greek yogurt / banana / whatever other fruit I have smoothie).   Let’s face it, plain Greek yogurt is sort of gross, but its a nutritional powerhouse and makes a great fruit smoothie I can sip as I drive!

Don’t bother with what you just don’t care about.
Over the weekend, I discussed with my friend Karen how great it is to be our current age.   With maturity has come the freedom to say “Nope, don’t need to know this.  Don’t need to worry about that.”    The things I do need to worry about are very real and plentiful, but it’s not EVERYTHING anymore.  Whatever the next fad or celebrity or TV show – nope, no thanks, I’m good.


Find your people.
Find your people.  Reach out to them often.  Make it brief, though, because truly – some days, who has the time? But share the love as much as you can, even in little ways, because we all need a boost some days.

Take care of you, friends.  And know that the rest of us are here to back you up when you need it.

Practice Good Elf-I-Mean-Self Management This Week

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More.

More, more, more, more, more, more.

This time of year, there is just More.

More events to attend, more pretty things to see, more fun to be had, more snacks and yummy things to eat, more service projects,  more items on the to-do lists, more stress and struggles.   More fun, sure, but also so many more expectations  for our time and energy and efforts.

But – wait!  We were already busy, even before there was More!  And now we are living our regular lives while trying to be great little Elves, bringing Christmas to our friends and family!  Aghhhh!!!!

Chances are, with this busy Christmas Season,  you are feeling a little maxed out, a little overwhelmed.  Chances are,  you are wearing your Elf-I-Mean-Self out.

If we are going to manage all those other things this week, first we need to manage our Elf-I-Mean-Self better.  This week, in the midst of all the MORE that you have… might I gently suggest that you spend a little time taking care of you?    (and I will try, too, I promise!)

Try these:

  • Grab a cup of hot cocoa, and take a few minutes to plan your day.
  • Collect all the stuff you need to take with you today into a tote, add a snack or two and a bottle of water, and go put it in the car right now while you are thinking about it.
  • Take a few more minutes, and look ahead at your week, and start smoothing out the bumps now!
  • Now, act!  I have to say, nothing saps my energy quicker than the mental nagging of those tasks that need to be completed.  Once you’ve made your plan for the day and week, implement it!
  • Embrace more short cuts.  Get more take-out? You bet.  Gift Cards and Gift Bags?  Yes, please. Send your Christmas Cards out the week after Christmas?  Go ahead.
  • Sing more Christmas carols.
  • Cut your Elf-I-Mean-Self some slack.
  • Take more deep breaths.
  • Drink more water.
  • Eat more actual food, and at regular intervals.
  • Take your vitamins.
  • Get more rest.
  • Accept more help.

And now, take care of your inner-Elf, wrap up this blog and go do something for You!

How Are You?  No, Really. How Are You?

Getting and staying organized requires focus, motivation, a plan, energy and probably a few more things, if I think about it.

It requires Action. Vision.

And sometimes a healthy meal and comfy shoes!

Getting organized can be a challenge for some people, but its really challenging if you are already feeling off, or at a disadvantage.

Good Self-Awareness and Self-Management are powerful tools in life. They help us be our best self and do our best work.

Know any toddlers? I’ve known a few. And I know some adults who may occasionally think or act like a toddler, myself included. Toddlers lose their cool sometimes. We all do. But toddlers, and the rest of us, are more likely to melt down if they are overwhelmed, hungry, tired, thirsty, bored, in need of a washroom, cold, uncomfortable or just plain sad (to name a few).

In my Organizing Coaching classes, we learn about self-management. To be fully present and focused on my client and our organizing coaching sessions, I have to make sure that I am ready before we begin. I manage my physical needs, and also mentally prepare. I can’t help others until I’ve helped me.

So, if

  • your focus has dimmed;
  • your motivation has lagged;
  • your planning failed; or
  • your energy has run out;
  • it may be time to ask yourself some questions.

Is it time to eat something? Something healthy?

Is it time for a cold or hot drink?

Do I just need to step away from this project for a moment and take a walk around the block to get some clean breaths?

Am I bored? Could I use some music or a partner to help this project go more smoothly?

How do I feel in this space?

Is this space too cold? Hot? Drafty? Smelly? Too dark? Too bright?

Is this project difficult? Am I uncomfortable because I am being called upon to do difficult work?

Am I upset now because of something bad that happened earlier or yesterday or last week?

The answers to any of these questions can give us an idea of why we’re feeling out of sorts, and also the ways to rectify the situation.

A friend and client shared a powerful tool she learned in Recovery, HALT. When we feel like our resolve or focus or calm are slipping, we can ask our self if we are Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired? Addressing these challenges first can help us continue to make good and positive choices.

When we’re working through our organizing projects, or our work day or just life in general, we can’t always fix every discomfort we have. But increasing our self-awareness and improving our self management helps us put names to our challenges. And then we can begin to make them better.

Organize Your Wellness! Love Yourself!

     Hearts are everywhere this time of year!  Love and Valentine’s day, of course, but also Go Red for The American Heart Association, and health and wellness in general.  Spend some time this week organizing your schedule and home around your Health and Wellness, and take care of you and the ones you love.   

  1. Make wellness part of your routine, making time for exercise, healthy eating, medications and supplements.  Attach something that needs to happen to something that already works.  For example, perhaps you pick your kids up from school every day.  Attach a 30 minute walk on the way to pick-up, to ensure your exercise will happen.  Or if you check your email every morning, like me, leave your vitamins and supplements next to your computer as a reminder!
  2. Save yourself some time and stress, and assign a home to important things.  For example, put your car keys and cell phone the same place every time you come in the door.  Then stick with it.  Every time. 
  3. Plan time – actually make a note in your calendar – every week for exercise and self-care.   Writing things down make them more likely to occur.  I always respect my standing appointment for my tennis lesson!
  4. Make and keep those health care appointments!  Group appointments on one or two days off, and take care of them all at once.  Set aside a day to set all your appointments, too.  Maybe Valentine’s Day or your birthday, or the first day of the month?  And of course, keep a portable folder for notes on health care issues and questions to ask your providers.  I also sweetened my recent appointment day with a massage in the morning, Rita at A Relaxed You in Mt. Greenwood is my favorite!
  5. Use down-time, like waiting for an appointment or for the kids to finish soccer practice for some deep breathing exercises, relaxing visualizations or a brisk walk around the park.  I have some great apps for my smart phone like “Long Deep Breathing”, “Relax Sleep Well” and “White Noise”.  Of course, I also have Sudoku and Word Jumble Apps, so I can relax and distract when I have a minute! 
  6. Make family time wellness time, with family hikes or biking, ice-skating, snowball fights – use your imagination!
  7. Occasionally take the day off from routine tasks.  Try a non-laundry day or a guest chef (my kids!) day, to make things more fun and less stressful.
  8. Remind yourself that you do not have to fix every problem every day.  Focus on just a few tasks, and do them well.
  9. Have a back-up plan for everything – babysitter, outfit, transportation options, backdoor key
    (hidden but accessible), quick and easy dinner plan.  Save yourself the scramble when your schedule changes or you are feeling under the weather!
  10. Save Your Back (or in my case, my shoulder.  Did I mention a massage?!?):  Only carry what you need.  Keep your backpacks handbags and briefcases filled with essentials for today, and don’t lug around stuff you don’t need.

Focus on wellness this week, and love yourself and those who count on you!  Happy Valentines Day!