If I had a nickel for every time I was asked “How do I get my family to get and stay organized?” I’d be rich.  Perhaps you want to get organized, but you feel challenged with young children, your spouse, maybe even aging parents or grown-up children who are still / again living at home.

Remember, please, I am an organizer, not a parenting expert or marriage counselor (as my husband and kids will attest).

We love our family members.  No one is broken, and No one needs fixed.   Each of us has strengths and skill sets.   And sometimes, a family member’s strength is NOT organizing.  Or maintaining systems, or even seeing how their actions or inactions affect others.   BUT, we need to be able to live together in shared space.   So, here are ways to gain cooperation or “Buy-In” from family members (or co-workers, employees, etc):

Determine Your Needs.  Not Wants, but Needs.  We need clothing and shelter, we want nice clothing and a big house.  Stating “Needs” instead of “wants” creates urgency.  For example, I want things to be pretty, but I need things to be organized.  So I am willing to spend effort and money on organizing first, and “pretty” later.  And I live in a house with all men and “pretty” is not a want for them.  So I stick with needs.

Solve a Problem.  Identify specific problems in your household, and how organizing can solve each.  If the problem is “We’re always late”, organizing your time and Launch Pad better could help you be on time.  Focus on one specific challenge.  Resist trying and failing to change everything at once.

Get Clear in Your Own Vision so that you can communicate it to others.

“Be the change you want to see in the world.” (Mahatma Gandhi)  Set the example.  This helps us to Speak From Experience, which lends us believability.  Be willing to step up and organize yourself if you are expecting others to get organized, too.

Keep it Simple.  Keep your ideas and message simple, dispassionate and to the point.

Keep it Realistic.  Keep participant ages, skill levels, attention spans, etc. in mind when you ask for assistance.  Strive for little steps in the right direction instead of big global changes.  Also, don’t make organizing look so easy that no one will ever offer to help; or so difficult that no one will ever want to help.

Don’t Tell, Teach.   Remember Organizing is a process, and we often need to teach the process.  No one reads minds.  Lay out each person’s part of the process for them.   I learn more every day, and I do this for a living.  Understand there is a learning curve for all family members.

Use Marketing to sell the Organizing Process:

1. Make a statement, how every one is going to try this new idea.
2. Make it a Team Effort.  And let everyone know they are needed.
3. Express the “Why”:  Why and how everyone will benefit.
4. State the expectations for everyone.  (And mention that you are only human, and you, too, are feeling your way through these changes).
5. Offer assistance and resources for your projects and to help others.

Find a Motivator.  Point to something personal, specific or tangible: More money?  Less stress?  Different stuff?   With kids, the motivators could be:

• A better morning routine will get us out the door and on to activities sooner.
• Purge and sell your extra toys and games and use the money for a new game system.
• If we clean out the basement, we can gain a play / recreation room.
• If we get more organized, we can stop driving Mom crazy. (maybe that is just me…..)
• If we prove we are responsible in one area, we can get xx or yy privilege.
• If we plan the menu and put stuff on the shopping list, we get foods we like, and the cabinets are full.
• Use life transitions, like a new school year or moving from tween to teenager, to motivate change.
• My boys are growing, as is their understanding of the world around them. We try to do things because sometimes they are just “the right thing to do”.  Recognize motivators can change as people grow.
• Take advantage of Summer Vacation.  Plan an organizing project per week, and offer a reward upon completion.  E.g., Clean out the garage this morning, play this afternoon.  Work on a new habit or behavior for a week, with a trip to Rainbow Cone at the end.

If you can’t achieve Buy-In, create boundaries.  If a family member is unwilling to participate in the organizing efforts, allow chaos in their own room but not in common space.  And if they can’t keep common space organized, then limit access to that space (this works for kids, not so much for adults!!).

So, be specific about your organizing projects, be a good advertiser for the process, and find creative ways to get your family members involved in the process.  You will gain assistance in the short-term, and a more organized family in the future!