“What’s The Plan?” (I just need to know there is one.)

What’s your plan for 2023?

In my Time Management and Productivity Presentations, I talk A LOT about planning. Two quotes I share in those presentations are:

  • “By failing to plan, you are preparing to fail”.  (Ben Franklin)

    And
  • “In preparing for battle I have always found that plans are useless but planning is indispensable.” (Dwight D. Eisenhower)

In this quote from Dwight D. Eisenhower, he uses “plan” and “planning” as both nouns and verbs. For today’s purposes, “a plan”, the noun, is “a detailed proposal for doing or achieving something” (per google) or “a set of actions that are intended to achieve a specific aim” (per Cambridge Dictionary).

Considering who I am, it is no surprise that I love a good plan.

Why do I love a good plan?

A good plan orders our steps. It calms our fears, knowing that there is a plan. It motivates us and keeps us on track. A good plan is not a perfect plan. A good plan is flexible and should be able to – sometimes expected to – change and evolve. And even if a plan may be subject to change, it’s still vitally important to go through the planning process.

For example:

When I text my clients to confirm our appointments, I often ask “What on the agenda?”

Here’s the thing – I ask this question many times a week. I ask my clients about the plan, but… I don’t actually need to know the plan until I arrive for our appointment.

This question is not for me, or for my benefit, it’s for my client. In organizing, I am the expert about organizing but my client is the expert about themselves and their situation.

If you’re my client and you have a plan, I can make some assumptions.

  • Awareness: I can assume you have have the necessary list of possible projects or life situations you would like to improve or accomplish.
  • Prioritizing: I can also assume that you have thought about the priority for these projects and situations.
  • Ownership and Agency: I can assume you have reviewed the list and the priorities and decided on what task or project or objective we should work on that will help you the most today.
  • Flexibility: We can always add to or subtract from the plan, and I can also help you with any of these steps as we work together, but the assumptions remain.

I was chatting with my son in the kitchen yesterday. I take him back to college for his second semester this coming weekend and I asked him if there was a plan for moving back in.

And then I leaned over to him and whispered “I don’t actually need to know the plan right now.” And he knew that, too.

Why?

Because this process, this moving-back-in event, is not my process or my event. It is his process. I will always help, of course. I can help him craft the plan, I will support his plan and implementation, I will do whatever he needs me to do. BUT, the plan is not my plan. It’s his plan. He is super smart, he is excellent at problem solving and HE knows his needs at college far better than I do. Essentially, a week before we hit the road, I only want to know that he is thinking about the process. I don’t need to know the plan, and it’s likely to change in the next few days anyway. I just need to know that there is a plan.

Awareness. Priorities. Ownership and Agency. Flexibility.

So, what’s your plan for 2023? I don’t need to know what the plan is, but for your sake, I really – for you – want to know that you have a plan.

And if you would like to craft that plan, and would like a listening ear and partner in the process, drop me an email at colleen@peaceofmindpo.com and let’s talk about organizational and productivity coaching in 2023.

Find Your Focus Areas!

(Want to watch me share this article? Click here for a FB live: https://www.facebook.com/MColleenKlimczakCPO/videos/812165770032446)

It always delights me when someone quotes me back to me! At a recent meeting, a friend mentioned that her brother had attended one of my Stress Management presentations. Of course, she also mentioned that she asked him to do something and he said “No, that isn’t in my Focus Areas”! (No names are mentioned, for anonymity!)

In my Stress Management Presentations, I recommend identifying and then sticking with your Focus Areas.

The idea is to identify what is important to you, and subsequently, what is NOT important to you. And once you know what is important to you – what is a high priority for you – intentionally spend your time and energy and resources on the high priority areas of your life.

Being intentional on how we spend our resources is important when it comes to getting things done, decreasing stress and increasing feelings of accomplishment and satisfaction.

Reviewing my notes, I realize that Focus Areas come up a lot for me. For example:

  • When writing an agenda for a board meeting – “What is important? What do we have to make sure to talk about?”
  • EVERY WEEK when I check in with my 2 accountability partners, I report using my Focus Areas as writing prompts.
  • In a recent conversation about the lingering effects of lock down and the pandemic, as in, “even when in lockdown for months in my home, I still didn’t want to work on jigsaw puzzles or knit a blanket.”
  • Even in casual conversations with my son. As in “Mom, you should watch this entire YouTube series on conspiracy theories.”
    • “Um, no. No, I should not.” Binge watching anything, especially something on conspiracy theories, is NOT in my Focus Areas.

What is important to you? What are your Focus Areas? If you’re unclear on what your Focus Areas are, start by checking three places: Your bank account, your calendar and your texting history. “What is important to you” is what you spend your resources on. Resources like time, money and energy.

Here’s the other side of that statement, though. Are you spending your resources on the areas of your life that you WANT to be important to you? Meaning, do you feel like building your business is important to you, but upon review of your resources, you aren’t spending a lot of energy on that endeavor? Or family or relationships or faith, etc.? As I plan my work today, I use my focus areas to determine what I DO and DO NOT want to spend my time on.

OK, so my Focus Areas are:

  • Service and Faith: School Board Work, Community Work, Ministries at church including Choir, Cantoring and Baptismal Prep
  • Home / Family: First thing first, my husband and sons. Then family and friends. And “Home” is the care and nurturing of home, cleaning, cooking, projects, holidays, etc.
  • Personal / Wellness
  • Educate Me: educational pursuits, learning new skills, reading non-fiction, learning new music.
  • My Company. I have subcategories, or business specific focus areas, too. They are Coaching, Clients, Presentations, Marketing and Business Specific.

What might your Focus Areas be? Career, Family, Health, Hobbies or a specific interest, Adventures, Friends, Money, Spiritual Needs, Personal Growth, Physical Fitness, etc..

A caveat: Our Focus Areas are an internal choice. A quick way to identify what might NOT be one of your Focus Areas is any time the idea comes from outside of you and is accompanied by a Should. As in almost ALL ADVERTISING! or “Wow, you should totally get a tattoo and run off to South America if you want to live a fulfilled life like me.” Huh? Um, no, thanks.

Additionally, our Focus Areas can change and evolve over time, just like we do as humans.

Knowing what our Focus Areas are helps us to make good decisions on how to spend our resources. They also give us a rubric for deciding on how to NOT spend our resources. Even if it means we respond to a request with “No, I am not willing to do that, it is not important to me, or part of my Focus Areas”!

The Basics: What MUST Be In Your Pocket?

When I started writing this article yesterday, I planned to write it from the going-off-to-college perspective. But, this morning, a 4 year old changed my plan.

Can we start with the basics? 5 things, maybe 6. BASIC. But so very important.

Let’s call them our Pocket Essentials. The items that you consider essential to leaving the house. Your Pocket Essentials are personal and change with age or stage in life. So, my Pocket Essentials for leaving the house – the bare minimum without which I cannot leave – car and house keys on one ring, phone, wallet and sunglasses. Truly, I can get pretty far with just these few things. But without them, I can’t even leave the garage.

From the 4 year old (a client’s daughter), she needed her dollar bill – HERS, not her sister’s, because HERS is smooth and her sister’s is crinkly – and a pink formal long glove. Just one. And very bright pink. And please, don’t question her choice. (She and her siblings were delightful.)

This summer, my son’s pocket essentials for work are his phone, house keys and electronic time card. If he leaves without any of those things, he has to come back for them. When he goes off to college in just a few weeks, he will need to establish A PLACE and JUST ONE PLACE for his college Pocket Essentials – phone, college ID and room key.

The point:

Identify your essentials, whether you are 4, 18 or 50 something.

Establish A PLACE for the essentials to live.

Then, cultivate the habit around making sure your essentials live in that ONE PLACE when you get home so they are ready again for you when you leave.

I have a theory when it comes to organizing and time management: How we manage transition times in our day can make or break our schedule and success.

Transition times are the many instances in our day when we switch from one task to another, one focus to another, one location to another, etc. They include: getting out of bed, leaving for and arriving at school or work, heading to lunch or getting back from lunch, leaving from school or work, arriving home, making dinner or going to bed.

If you live with at least one other human or pet, you also have to factor in their transition times. And when we look at how many instances in a day we are shifting gears, it’s easy to see how many instances there are also to stumble!

So, to Recap:

Establish what your Pocket Essentials are. A short list, not too much to keep track of, but Essential nonetheless.

Then, establish ONE PLACE. By the front or back door? We have a little basket mounted on the wall by the back door where my husband keeps his Pocket Essentials. Mine are all contained in my backpack, also near the exit. Perhaps on your dresser or the kitchen counter? Pick ONE PLACE. Let others in the house know where the place is. Put a nice dish or basket there just for the Pocket Essentials. maybe a charger for your phone, etc.

Finally, establish the habit of keeping your Pocket Essentials in your ONE PLACE while you’re home so it’s waiting for you when it comes time to leave.

My habit is to take off my shoes by the back door and then take everything out of my pockets onto my desk (right next to the back door.) Keys get clipped to my bag, sunglasses go in my bag, phone gets charged on the desk if necessary. Same goes for my family members, dropping their Pocket Essentials by the door or on their dresser. If any of us find those essentials elsewhere in the house, we return them to their ONE PLACE.

And if I happen to walk by my bag and the keys are not clipped to my bag, or my phone is not where I expected it to be, I had better go track it down! Before missing my Pocket Essentials messes up my next Transition time!!

But, What If It Is Amazing?

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.” – Marianne Williamson

It is so easy to believe the bad stuff. And there is a lot of bad stuff sometimes, I know. Most of our brains, especially brains with ADHD, or anxiety or depression, trend negative.


I pride myself on having a positive inner narrative, of making sure I keep an eye on the good things inside and around me. I know I am a much happier person that way, much more productive, certainly more pleasant to be around, and with positivity and good energy to share. And I do.


Recently, I identified a place in my mind where Fear had snuck in. In one small area, I had let fear guide me, keeping me from moving ahead on a project. And when I identified fear in one place, I also realized that I had let the fear in one area leak quietly into other areas of my life as well.


Sneaky thing, fear.


Fear was keeping me stuck. I had fear of failing and of succeeding, at the same time. Go figure! Illogical, of course, but sometimes our thoughts are illogical!


I worked through some things over the last week, using tools I have from my coaching practice on my own challenges. The first step is awareness that there is a problem. I completed perspective work, I listened to my intuition, I checked in on my own needs and values. Yes, I coached me with my coaching tools!


And what came to me was, “Fear can be scary, but what if the other side of the fear is AMAZING??


What if this scary thing, when I get through it, results in something totally awesome? Fear wants us to believe that negative things can happen, and they can, but so can amazing things, in equal measure. The AMAZING results are actually more likely than the failure, in this instance.


So let’s ask…. (and we will stick with organizing, though you can swap that word out for anything else you want, too):


What are you afraid of?

  • Afraid of failing at organizing?
    • Every thing we try is a learning experience, there really isn’t failure there.
  • Afraid that organizing might be difficult?
    • Ok, but how much more difficult is it to struggle every day?
  • Afraid that organizing might be easy, and I’ll realize I should have done it years ago?
    • Ok, but why bother beating yourself up about the past? Show past-you some grace and enjoy today’s success.
  • Afraid that the path might not be easy or straightforward?
    • It won’t be, and that is ok, too.


Now that I am aware that Fear had me stuck, I am looking more to the AMAZING part.

Yes, I have work to do. I already had work to do, now I can do without being afraid, too.

Yes, things may get hard. But things were hard anyway, and now maybe they can also get easier!

Fear is scary, but join me on the other side of Fear for AMAZING!

Enough But Not Too Much

We traveled last week.

It was lovely.  We went to Michigan and relaxed at a house on a lake. 

The lake life is quieter and simple, especially this time of year.  We did manage to visit a nearby beach town for lunch one day (outdoors), and dipped our toes in Lake Michigan (it was 80 degrees that day!).  I also got to see my parents and one of my brothers, with masks and social distance of course, for the first time in a very long time. Hooray! But mostly we relaxed.

What I want to talk about is the variety of choices we make every day. ALL OF THE DECISIONS!

I was reminded how much of a relief it is, at times, to just have fewer choices, fewer decisions.

For example, we did a grocery run and bought we needed for 4 1/2 days, and not much more. 

At the lake house, there are things to do but … fewer than at home or during the summer.

I was reminded, as I packed for travel: we decide on what we will need, based on our plans and habits and routines and the weather, for a finite amount of time and  pack only those things (and maybe a few extra!). Getting ready is easier.  Decisions were made when I packed, so day to day I choose between jeans or a skort, sandals or sneakers.  Easy.

Simple.  Straightforward. Easier decisions, less mental clutter.

Enough but not too much. This is what being organized represents for me. What clearing clutter means to me.

I have been struggling today with a whole lot of mental clutter and the feeling of overwhelm.  Some of this can be attributed to what my friend and I call “Re-Entry”, those few days after you get home from a trip. And let’s face it – after the last year, we are out of practice with travel and the tasks around coming-home!  But I also recognized that life has been much simpler this last week. That I enjoyed the simpler schedule and fewer decisions (and sleeping in and enjoying time off, of course). 

I needed the reminder that I need Enough but not too much. Of EVERYTHING!

I’d like to learn from this awareness, for myself. I know these lessons. We probably all do. But we still need reminders and that’s how I will use this awareness. So…

I will gladly embrace my daily routines that keep my wellness and home and business humming along, taking time-wasting decision making out of my brain!

I will stop trying to complicate my days with many new ideas all at once!

I will look at fewer choices on how to spend my time and be more purposeful and intentional with my choice.

I will step back and pay attention to those instances in my days when I need to make choices. I will refer to the short list of focus areas where I want to and need to spend my time, and stick with just those when time or attention seem short.

Let’s stick with enough, but not too much.

Where can you go with that mantra this week? Cutting out time commitments, errands, clutter, wardrobe choices, visual stimuli? What can go, to simplify your day or week?

How to Break the “Just One More Thing” Habit

This is not what I had planned to write about this week, but readers asked for More! when I admitted in last week’s newsletter that I had and also conquered my tendency for “Just One More Thing!”.

You know, “Just One More Thing!”? As in … we need to leave in 5 minutes, of course I have time to write 3 emails, or start a load of laundry, or make one more phone call.

Perhaps you have this tendency, too? It is well intentioned. For me, I just wanted to get as much done as I could so I would wring productivity out of every last SECOND of my day. Except, this practice is not very productive and it occasionally tripped me up. It might only impact me or you, but the more complicated our schedules become, the more likely this habit is to impact others negatively as well.

20 years ago, I often fell into this flawed thinking, and this judgement error was exacerbated by the fact that I was the mother of small children. Even if I thought I had an extra 5 minutes, we all know how quickly those can pass as we assemble socks or shoes or backpacks for school. And I was also setting a bad example, pushing-pushing-pushing the deadline for leaving on-time to arrive on-time. (*You could swap out child references with co-workers in the above sentence and draw the same conclusions.)

What about leaving for work or for home or anywhere else you need to get to on time? “Just One More Thing” only works when everything else works exactly as planned. And we also all know that day-to-day life rarely works exactly as planned. There is a last minute search for keys or phone, slow elevators, traffic or bad weather, and as one thing leads to another, we find ourselves rushing around, arriving late and out of sorts.

I recognized and began to remedy my issue of “Just One More Thing” when I worked downtown and commuted on the train. If I drove, it didn’t matter if I left my office a few minutes late. I could just make it up on the drive or get home a few minutes late. No biggee. BUT… if I didn’t leave my office at 4:55 pm, I would not be on the Blue Line Platform in time to catch the EL train to the Metra station to get on the train that got me home by 6:05. Trains don’t care about “Just One More Thing”. Instead, I would have to take the next train that arrived half an hour later and made more stops. And that made a BIG difference.

WHY should you break the “Just One More Thing” Habit?

Why? Because you’re not a jerk. “Wait, Coll, how could ‘Just One More Thing’ make me a jerk?” Late for meetings, drop-offs or pick-ups? And what if you’re the one who called the meeting?! Unreliable? Missed deadlines?


Why? Because you respect yourself. Last week, a friend (you know who you are!) mentioned the words “self-sabotage” when she commented on my “Just One More Thing” admission. Ouch. Hard truth, but truth nonetheless. We have to respect our own boundaries. And we can’t expect others to respect our boundaries if we do not.

Why? Because there is value in “calm”. Or “On-time”, or reliable or consistent, or having time to say Hi to a friend or sitting in your favorite seat at the meeting because you didn’t succumb to “Just One More Thing”. (Find your why and remind yourself!)

Here’s How to Break the “Just One More Thing Habit”:

Realistic Time Estimates: Know how long tasks take. If you have 10 minutes, what can you really accomplish in that time? Two 5 minute tasks or one 10 minute task and nothing more. Nothing more than 10 minutes in 10 minutes! OR… one short task and take a few minutes for a deep breath and an early start. (I know we just talked about realistic time estimates in a recent article, but it bears repeating!)

To Do Lists: Keep a to-do list, so your tasks and ideas are reliably collected and you don’t have to worry so much about JUST ONE MORE THING before you leave the house, go to your meeting, etc. With a reliable list, you can pick up where you left off.

If you really only have 5 minutes right now, “send out the ships” to others first. My accountability partner uses the term “sending out ships” to describe those communications that require a reply or action from others.



I know my pace for work. I do not know, or presume to know, other people’s pace for work. Therefore, I try to send out requests or messages to others ASAP to give time to answer. Then I make a note of when I sent the message or request, when I need to follow up, tack on a great bit WAIT and then move that task to that future time or date. As I write about sending out ships, it feels like a matter of prioritizing, and perhaps it is. But this strategy helps me communicate more effectively and focus in on what really needs to be said or done. Which leads me to….

Prioritize. When we have limited time to complete a long list of tasks, we have to identify what has to get done right now and what can wait. Don’t get distracted by shiny things or loud requests. (Loud and shiny don’t make a task important.)

Know Your Absolute Deadline, and add time in from there. Check your traffic app for commute time, check the weather for possible storms, know your route and a few alternatives. No matter how well intentioned we are, we cannot travel back in time. (Trust me, I’ve tried.)

Give Yourself Grace, as you figure this out. For goodness sake, be as kind to you as you are to others and cut yourself some slack. Forgiving yourself ahead of time for NOT doing “Just One More Thing” is a good place to start!

Let’s Decide Now How the Next Few Months Will Go

Setting goals is a great way to make progress in life. Personal, professional, spiritual, wellness, you name it. The process lends clarity to our efforts, and provides deadlines and motivational boosts.

Today we are half way through 2020. Wow – July begins tomorrow! This should be a great day and time to set goals in your focus areas, move forward, do big things, etc…. But that feels heavy right now, doesn’t it?

Is it safe to say – the last few months weren’t what you expected? Personally, I know that to be the truth. If you set goals for 2020 back in January, perhaps you have made progress, or perhaps you barely recognize your reality today.

In business, we often look at the year by quarters. So, 2nd Quarter (Q2) of 2020 was April / May / June. And I can say with certainty that Q2 2020 was incomparable to any other quarter before. Ever. In business and in life. We saw it coming, back in Q1 2020. But let’s face it, we didn’t know really know what was coming.

2 Quarters completed, 2 Quarters to go

I’ve had two coaching conversations in the last 2 days about 3rd Quarter Goal Setting, 2020. And what both conversations had in common was that all parties involved – me and my two coaching partners – agreed that setting Q3 goals feels WAY TOO BIG for right now.

There are still unknowns. A LOT of unknowns. We’re still feeling our way through Phase 4 reopening here in Illinois. We’re carefully placing our feet for the next step on the path.

Goal!

Despite the unknowns, I still want to set goals for Q3 and Q4 2020 and I suggest you do the same. However, here are some things to think about as you set them!

What are your focus areas? I can’t answer this one for you, but as an example, mine are:
Wellness, Family, Home, Personal, Business, Educate Me and Service.
I set goals regularly in each of these focus areas. The “Focus” in focus areas works both ways – I only set goals that fit into one of these focus areas, AND I set goals in each of these areas. In theory, that means nothing gets neglected AND I make progress in the areas of my life I’ve decided are important.

For July, instead a few large goals, I am setting more incremental goals for smaller time frames. I am more likely to succeed on those smaller but more plentiful goals, and I will feel the motivation boost that comes from DONE! more often. (Today, a client and I deemed that boost ‘a happy dance’!)

Because I cannot control the world or others, I am setting goals that I actually can influence. For example, I’ll look at my own wellness, habits and internal growth. A goal for July may be schedule 10 Presentations for the second half of 2020, but perhaps those will be presentations I host myself. I won’t set a goal to “make new coaching clients call me”, but I can set a July goal to update my website and social media to include language about coaching.

Smaller goals allow for more flexibility, too, for mid-journey course corrections or adding new goals into the mix as life or circumstances dictate. Unfortunately, there is still uncertainty looking ahead at Quarter 3. But we can choose to make progress on our own goals in our own way at our own pace.

So, my friends, what will your next month look like? Your next quarter or half a year? Setting goals will help you determine your own future despite the “unknowns” we still face! So let’s get to it!

The Post-Deadline Lies We Tell Ourselves

Have you ever had these thoughts before:

“I can’t wait to finish this project… life will be so much easier when it is done.”

“I’ll have so much free time when this semester is over.”

“Wow, whatever will I do with all my free time after this project / deadline, etc.?”

Or, “After the holidays, things will finally settle down.”

A friend and client brought this up to me years ago – the game she plays when she is in the middle of a semester (she is a teacher) or writing an article: the “when I finish this, I will finally be able to slow down / take a break / relax for a while / few days / few months” game. But that break never seems to happen.

We work and work towards a deadline, and think fondly though fleetingly about how nice and relaxing it will be once that deadline is met and the project is complete. And then we complete the project and meet the deadline, yeah! Great, Way to Go!!

However…then the basic survival and maintenance tasks we have neglected while we hustled to meet our deadline clamor for our attention. The house is sort of a mess, the cabinets are a little bare, the desk top or work space is strewn with project remnants and papers, the laundry has piled up and your in-box is atrocious.

Plus, the other projects that have been neglected while we finish come rushing forward for our attention and we end up right back into overwhelm. There – can you see it? – the next deadline / project is already looming on the horizon! Agh!

So, what could we do instead?

When the deadline is successfully met, article submitted, we can revel for a bit in the glow of “Done”, “Finished”, “Accomplished”, before jumping into the next big project.

We can take some time to take care of those survival and maintenance tasks. Grab some lunch, some water, a break outside in the sunlight. Take a shower and start that load of laundry!

We can factor in recovery time (I am saying this to you and to my self). I am slowly and with resistance learning that we need to factor in recovery time after major efforts. Talking with a friend, they spent an entire weekend day tackling yard tasks and were sore. So the next day, they laid low and took it easy. Recovery.

We can find some closure around the project or semester or article or whatever that big THING was that you’ve been working on. Clean up your work space, file your papers or info, leave yourself a few notes for follow-up, send a few thank you’s to folks who lent a hand. Take a few deep breaths and smile.

We can clean out our brain with a 30- minute cranial cleanse of non-project related tasks and ideas, or collect any notes-for-someday you may have written yourself while in the throes of that project. For next time, keep a bullet journal or make notes in an Evernote or Google doc as random thoughts occur to you and save them for later so as not to distract from your deadline!

And during your next brief down-time, look ahead and schedule some of these catch-up tasks for yourself post-deadline. We can leave ourselves a plan, maybe a check list of self-care, recovery and clean up tasks, to give our tired post-deadline brain and body a break!

Is the Phone Really Dead?

Someone: “My phone is dead.”

Me:  “Is the phone really dead?”

Someone: “Yes, it won’t charge.  It doesn’t hold a charge.  The charging light doesn’t even go on.  Tried it a couple of times, the phone is dead.”

Me: “Let’s break it down.  The problem might not be the phone, that is just the part we see.  The problem could be the phone (the most expensive item to replace, of course!), but it could also be

  • the cord, 
  • the cube, 
  • the outlet, 
  • the connection between any of these components, or
  • in many cases sometimes, ‘user error’ (a nice way to say I or you may be the problem).”
  • And the problem was the charging cube, in case you were wondering.  The phone recharged and works fine.

I love a good challenge.  I love to solve mysteries and problems like this.  And yes, sometimes, the phone really is dead and the problem is exactly what it presents itself to be.

But sometimes it is not.

“Is the ceiling fan really dead?”

“… It doesn’t turn and the light won’t turn on.”

Yes, but is the ceiling fan the problem, or:

  • Is there something wrong with the wall switch?
  • Is the circuit tripped?
  • Is it the on-off switch on the fan?
  • Is it the connections in or out of any of these?
  • (turns out, it was the connections in the ceiling to the base unit).

My handy husband and son spent an hour and solved the mystery a few weeks ago instead of just going out and spending money on a new fan which wouldn’t have worked either, because the problem was in the connections in the ceiling.

This works on more subjective challenges, too. 

“Hmmm, This person and I don’t seem to be communicating well.”  Is the problem with

  • the message? (one of you doesn’t want to hear it or want to say it?); 
  • how it is being said? (the tone, the jargon)
  • the method of communication?  (you would prefer to text, the other person prefers to talk on the phone)
  • the timing? (the sender or receiver is distracted by something else more important or urgent)
  • something even more  personal or subjective with either the sender or receiver that has nothing to do with the process or method?

If you have a problem to solve, whether it is objective, like fixing a cell phone or ceiling fan, or more subjective like interpersonal communications, it pays to take a moment and break down the problem into smaller pieces that can be examined on their own.  Perhaps the solution is right in front of you!

It’s Time To Make A “Some Day Soon” List

Friends, this, too, shall pass! Notes for Some Day Soon.

I’ve suggested before to create a Future To Do List. 

Most Decembers, for example, I suggest that folks make a “January List” for the things that we can put off until after the holidays.  We want to keep the ideas as they occur to us, but we might not need to act on them until the New Year, in that case.

Personally, I have a rolling Master To Do List for most facets of my life. 

What that means is that I have, in an online platform called Evernote, a Master To Do List that contains my tasks for family life, home maintenance and improvements, Ministries and Public Service, plus all facets of my business and my own self-improvement.   This makes it easy to move tasks around the Evernote document as I complete a task or need to move it to next week, etc.  

As I write all that, I realize it may sound nutty to keep all that info in one document, but this practice really helps me to track tasks and projects each day, week, month, etc..  And I’ve tried keeping separate lists for each area of interest, but then I forget to regularly check them.  This just works best for me.  

But here is the snag, friends.  While I typically complete a one-time task and then remove it, or move ahead a recurring task to a specific week or day in the future, I am facing a new and (admittedly) uncomfortable new category.  The “Some Day Soon When We Can Return to Normal” task category.

You know what I am talking about.  

  • The events that we have had to postpone due to social distancing. 
  • The appointments we need to set up once offices and service providers are open again.
  • For me, the in-person client appointments that I’ve had to cancel, and presentations that have been put on hold.
  • The actions that we have promised ourselves in these rougher times that we are ABSOLUTELY going to do when we can again!

But we don’t know yet when that will be. So I want to keep the ideas until me and the world are ready to take action on them again.

My challenge to you this week is to start and then add to  your Some Day Soon List.

  • Work or medical or personal appointments to reschedule.
  • People to meet up with (not just connect virtually).
  • Non-essential errands to run.   
  • Service people needed, like the tree I need planted in my front year, or having the plumber or electrician out.
  • Birthdays to celebrate in person!

Maybe it’s a wish list!  

  • That Some Day soon, I will drive to Michigan and hug my parents and siblings and families.
  • That Some Day soon, I will spontaneously hug friends at the grocery when I see them.
  • That Some Day soon, I will go to restaurants and sit and soak in the ambiance and linger over dessert.
  • That Some Day soon, I will go to a movie theater, or enjoy our Broadway in Chicago membership again.
  • That Some Day soon, I will go to church.  I will bask in the peace, I will thrive on the energy, I will sing and pray with others. 
  • That Some Day Soon, I will do something as simple as go to my favorite local bakery to virtually work from their booth while enjoying the people and the steady supply of hot coffee.

I think of this list as Hopeful and Happy, and I hope you feel the same.  This strange and awkward time will pass.  For my own sanity and outlook, I have to believe it will.  And when it does, we will emerge better and stronger and more grateful for what we have.  And we will be ready to take action on all these ideas and wishes we make now!