Tag: weight loss

What Are You Afraid Of?

A coaching client emailed me this question:

Good Morning, Coach Colleen!
Just touching base…
Not very successful in meeting last weeks’ goals.

Today I am asking myself –
What am I afraid of… if I was to let go of something?
I know what papers I want to toss or move – but I am holding on to something.
Hopefully we can move past this block.

My response (edited for confidentiality and content):

“Hmmmm….. what ARE you afraid of?”

We set goals because we want to achieve a certain outcome. We’re also aware there may be side effects from achieving those goals.  The fear of those side effects weighs us down.

  • This client has boxes of old papers to review and purge. She wants to wrap up the paper project before starting another. She has done great work in many ways, but reviewing and purging the papers in these these last few boxes feels scary, like she might let go of something important.
  • I heard the story of a client secretly afraid of an empty in-box. It seemed that if the in-box was empty, she wouldn’t have any more excuses for not doing the other harder, more emotionally painful tasks she’s been putting off.
  • A friend is worried that she’ll lose too much weight and then she’ll have to buy new clothes and it will be expensive. So she doesn’t even start.
  • I alternate between wanting to be super-busy and then freaking out because I’m so busy and can’t do all the things I want to do.

We all have fears, it’s how we face them – what we do with them – that matters.  If you ask yourself what you’re afraid of, your mind might not produce an answer.  If you’re feeling blocked, you can instead ask yourself, “What’s the worst that can happen?”

As in, “I’m conflicted about a possible outcome. It could be good, and it could be scary. So what is the worst that can happen if I achieve this goal?”

Using the weight loss example, what’s the worst that can happen?

  • We feel some discomfort with being hungry or sore from exercising, until our body adjusts (we can survive that, no biggie).
  • We lose weight and then have to buy new clothes (not really so bad).
  • We lose so much weight we look like one of those crazy skeleton people on the news (not really very likely, now is it?).
  • We work out so much we look like those freaky body builders (also not too likely).
  • There is the unlikely event that losing weight could cause other health issues, but the list of health benefits outweigh the fears.

In the case of this client, what’s the worst that can happen if she let go of the wrong papers?

  • Someone may ask for the information (sometimes the answer is “No, I don’t have that paper anymore” and sometimes we have to go out and find the answer again. Neither is too scary).
  • She may forget about it (if the paper represents something important, she will be reminded in other ways).
  • Again, the benefits of completing this paper project, and freeing up space in her house and schedule exceed the fears.
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This afternoon I found this quote while working at a different client’s house, took a picture and texted it to my client. I loved her response:

“Wow, doing 365 things a year could make a person become ruthless [her goal is to objectively and ruthlessly purge her papers]! And then nothing will scare them!”

So face those fears, and make those lists. I bet what you fear isn’t so scary after all!

Little Pieces: Paper Management to Fix My Dinner Dilemma

To sum up the article you are about to read:Image

  1. Create paper management systems that work for you, and look at them critically once in a while to make sure they are still working;
  2. Regular maintenance is key to the success of any system;
  3. Binders are a great way to store papers that you plan to use again;
  4. Look critically at your practices regularly, and be open and willing to change; and
  5. Imagine different ways that new technology can make your life easier or solve a problem

Some of you may stop there, and that’s fine.  But read on for the rest of the story….

It’s almost 2014.  And my personal resolutions revolve around healthier eating for my family, and getting fit.  So I admit to you, instead of writing my blog, I really want to clean up / clear out my recipe binder. My recipe binder project is a study in good paper management

There are a few motivators working here:

  • I just placed a 3 month order for my awesome nutritional supplements (Reliv, ask me about them!)
  • I also just signed up for a “Figure Friendly Freezer Meal Party” in January
  • I need to menu plan for the next two weeks now that we’re done traveling and hosting parties
    I plowed through my reading pile over the weekend while traveling, and have a pile of new recipes
  • I have a backlog of recipes to try

I read a couple of magazines regularly, pulling out the recipes to use later.  There seems to be so much promise, so much hope and happiness in those shiny pictures in a magazine.  Years ago, I created a binder to keep my favorite recipes close at hand.  My binder is separated into categories that work for me and my family – favorites, appetizers, main dishes, baking, sides and salads.  When I collect recipes from my magazines, I tuck them in the front pocket of the binder.  When I feel like trying something new, I pick one out and we try it.  If my family likes it, I’ll file it in the right category area.  If they don’t, I’ll toss it.  I have purged the occasional cook book, too, when I go back to it for only one recipe repeatedly.  I’ll tear the page out or make a copy in my printer, and purge the cookbook.

So here are the problems I am facing:

  • The front pocket has gotten very full, and I have more to add.
  • There are recipes that have been in the pocket for months and even years, and I have yet to try them.  Which means they no longer appeal to me, and probably never will.
  • I am turning over a new, healthier leaf and many of the backlog recipes don’t fit that vision.
  • I sometimes collect recipes on-line now.

So, this evening or tomorrow, I will spend an hour and

  1. Re-file all the favorites that we’ve pulled out over the holidays (recipes for our favorite holiday cookie recipes, sugared walnuts, and a lovely sauce for our Christmas roast
  2. Grab a sheet protector, put two new soup recipes we’ve tried and loved into it, and add it to the binder.
  3. Look very critically at this weekend’s new pile and the handful of recipes in the front pocket, and ask myself some questions.  Such as:  Is it just too complicated?  Does it contain ingredients I can not pronounce or easily find at my regular grocery stores?  Will my family turn up their collective noses?  Is it healthy?  Do I already have a recipe that is very similar?  Can I find the recipe again on-line?
  4. Start “collecting” more recipes on-line, bookmarking the pages and adding a link to my menu plan spreadsheet so I can find the recipe again when I need it.  An article I read suggested using Evernote (which I love!!) to catalog and organize recipes, too.

What can you spend an hour on this week, a small project, that will reap big rewards?  Imagine, and get to it!  Happy New Year!