“Because I Said So!”

     We’re all great parents before having children.  At the grocery store or passing a park, we know just what every other parent should do with every other child.  Then life changes.  I vowed to never mix up my children’s names.  Anyone who knows me, whatever your name is, knows I mix them up all the time.  I also swore that phrases like “Because I said so!”, “Get off your brother”, “Put that down!”, or “Oh my god, who brought THAT into my kitchen?!” would never cross my lips, and that I would never yell.  Then God laughed, and gave me three sons.  And now I laugh, all the time.  And cry, often but quietly.  And sometimes I do both at the same time.  Because I’m a Mom, and that’s what we do.

     My gift to you and to myself for Mother’s Day is an article that has little to do with organizing.  Keep these thoughts in your heart for when you need some “Peace of Mind”, (just like my business name).  Why?  Because I said so.

  1. A grateful heart is the surest way to happiness.  A friend reminded me recently that people who have a truly grateful heart are less prone to anxiety and depression.  Be grateful in your heart, and let others know how thankful you are to and for them.  “And yes, to my youngest son, this means you have to finish your thank-you notes before you can spend the money you received.  And I don’t care if other people don’t have to send them, I’m not their mom.”
  2. A secret.  I am conflicted as a parent.  Having been a crabby teenager once upon a time does not prepare me to parent one today.  I want from my children, simultaneously, understanding when I don’t know everything and their faith and confidence in me to know everything.  I do know a secret, though, that contributes to my Peace Of Mind.  And my secret may be different from your secret.  My secret is to say a short prayer for patience and guidance, and then remind myself what my job is as a parent:  I am growing future adults, and helping my children get to heaven.  Those ideas help me form all the other decisions I make in a day.  So what is your secret?  Write it down, and remember it as needed! 
  3. Parenting involves our hands, our heads and our hearts.  The combination of the three varies with our children’s ages, stages and from moment to moment in our day, though the older my children get, the more I use heart and head to guide us all.  Children don’t come to us fully formed, which is a very good thing, since we aren’t fully formed, either.  We get to evolve and figure things out together.  On Mother’s Day, I thanked my teenager for making me a mom 14 years ago.  He is a teenage boy, so when I start emoting like that, he gets a funny look on his face and I know he would rather be anywhere else but listening to me.  But he’s a good sport, and said, “um – you’re welcome?”  Then he gave me a hug, so I knew it was OK.  Guess I got to use my hands, head and hearts all at once on that one!
  4. You are more capable than you know.  And so are your children.
  5. No regrets.  Recently, I sang at the funeral of a friend’s mother.  The friend stated she had no regrets when it came to her relationship with her mom and her mom’s passing.  What a gift.  I’ve been looking at my relationships with new eyes, trying to do the right thing always, and working towards “No Regrets” some day, too.
  6. My Mother’s Day was lovely and relaxing, spent with family. My sister-in-law made a fabulous brunch and my husband made a delicious dinner.  In years past, I wanted to celebrate Mother’s Day by taking a break from Mom activities like cooking and cleaning.  But I realized that being a Mom is who I am and who I want to be, so taking a day off is sort of silly.  Did I receive gifts?  Yes, thank you.  Did I do laundry?  No.  Did I declare the remote control and the couch as MINE for about 3 hours?  Yes!  Do I want to spend the day of celebration of Motherhood escaping from being a Mom?  No, I really don’t.  But if somoene could still fold the laundry, that would be great.
  7. My Mother’s Day gifts come every day, in little packages.  My oldest son leaving my side at Mass to volunteer to serve without being asked.  Because he likes be a server, and he recognized the need without being asked.  My middle son and I sharing a look and cracking each other up without saying a word. Such an old soul in a young body.  My youngest son bent over a mud puddle –  I thought he was making a mess and started to fume, but then I looked closer and saw he was saving ants one at a time by giving them little sticks to walk on out of the mud.  These gifts might not come gift-wrapped, but they are the best a mother can ask for.

Thanks for coming along with me, and for letting me ramble a bit.  I hope the next time you are searching for some Peace of Mind, one of these ideas comes back to you in time.  Happy Mother’s Day.