Have you ever noticed? Some days, we can be energized and powerful in the face of daunting circumstances, and other times be overwhelmed by the tiniest set-back. Our state of mind rules our reactions.
I am not a mental-health professional! I am writing this from a time management perspective – negative ways of thinking are terrible time wasters. Wallowing, Wondering and Worry waste time and energy with little gain. I’ll let you do a little bit of each, then it’s time to move on.
I spend a lot of time inside my own head. I laughingly tell people I have a rich inner life, to match my rich outer life! What I am really saying is that I’m always thinking, and usually over-thinking. Luckily, I am also always acting, and moving forward, and I ask you to find ways to do the same, regardless of your state of mind! Here’s how:
Wondering:
I like to know how things work, where roads go, what makes people tick. Some folks wonder about things, though, and never take that wondering any further than their own mind. No resolution, wasting vital time and energy in wondering instead of discovering. I wonder… what happened to that old high school friend; if I should set up an LLC or a corporation; if I’m just tired or if there is something bigger wrong… I wonder….
So, I wonder… what to do about wondering. Some wondering is great, that’s where great ideas come from. But we can wonder for ages without ever trying to solve the puzzle. GO! and look for the answers. Be adventurous, ask the experts, search the internet, phone a friend. You know smart people, ask them! My boys and I are self guided learners, we look up topics on the internet all the time. There’s also a dictionary, pocket thesaurus and small encyclopedia in the kitchen desk, to look up the big words I like to toss around. It’s a great practice.
I have been wondering about how to re-word my professional bio for a new website. I wonder how other people perceive me and my business… then I realized a number of you have sent me testimonials about my business (asked experts and phoned a friend), so I am going to read those to form my new bio. Thanks for being my experts!
Wallowing:
We humans feel things strongly and can feel very sad and upset about things. What you feel is real, and I respect you and your feelings. But as in all things, there must be limits.
Son #2 feels things very strongly and was recently wallowing after some long-distance friends left. But as his mom, I let him wallow for a while (we all need to), and then I helped him cope by turning the sadness to something good, thinking about positive ways to keep in touch with the long-distance friends (email, videos on his new camera, texting when he gets his cell phone next month, etc.). We moved past wallowing by creating hope.
Set a timer, go ahead and wallow, then write down your sadness. Read it out loud, then turn the page, and write down 3 actions you can take to make it better. Then go do one. Make a conscious decision to make the sad things better. And yes, you can make things better.
Worrying:
How does the saying go? “95% of what we worry about never comes to pass” or something like that? We spend so much time and energy needlessly worrying, time and energy we could use to actually work on the problems instead. I am a pro at worrying, but I also know when to act. The answers for how to not get stuck Worrying are the same as for wallowing and wondering.
Ask for help. Ask the experts. Pray (God is the ultimate expert!!). And put limits on your Worrying. One suggestion is to sit down, set a timer and actually worry for a set amount of time, like 20 or 30 minutes about whatever is bothering you. If that works for you, great. I prefer less time sitting and more time planning and acting. So, again, set a timer, write it down, write down three actions to take to make it better and do one right now. My dad used to say “Do something, even if it’s wrong”, and I now recognize the wisdom in the statement. These negative mind sets lock us in our own heads, and we require a change, a movement, an action of some type to break free.
So, if you are stuck in your head this week wondering, wallowing or worrying, take a break, step outside your head, talk to people and take action. Do SOMETHING!