Things We Adults Have To Do Sometimes: The Ultimate “What-If?”

A conversation about life insurance turned to a serious statement for me and my husband – we needed to update our wills.  Our sons are older, our needs have changed.  It’s time.

Regardless of age or situation, organized people get their affairs in order.  We needed to make that happen.

But who wants to tackle the tough subjects, right? Either for our self or with a loved one? It can be difficult, uncomfortable, upsetting and even depressing. But we have to do it, for the Ultimate What If.

These are tough topics, I know.  But I also know that making decisions for yourself and your stuff can be a positive experience, bringing peace of mind, comfort, clarity and relief.  Here are some ideas about the process.

Make sure someone knows where your vital information is.  You don’t have to share it all, but a trusted friend should know where it is.  Your vital information might include:

  • Password info for your online information
  • Banking, tax and financial highlights
  • Your Will and Powers of Attorney for Health Care, Financial or Legal Matters, etc.
  • Anything else you would like someone to know about you, should you no longer be able to speak for yourself.

Find and Utilize Your Expert.  Last week, we met with our lawyer Eileen (http://kerlinwalshlaw.com/) to complete our Will and Powers of Attorney.

I wish I could take credit for the hard work, but our attorney took care of that.  We delivered our information and answered questions, then she and her wonderful office turned our information and decisions into the finished product.  We explained our needs – in the event of a tragedy, we need to provide guardianship for our youngest plus for the educational needs of all three sons. Beyond that, we also talked about health care decisions and planning for the future.  And since she is our expert, she was able to explain different strategies and options to us to meet our goals.  Find your own expert (or contact Kerlin Walsh Law), and make the call.

Make Decisions About Your Health:

  • One of the documents we signed was our Power of Attorney for Health care.
  • A few years back, a client asked me if I would sit and read through her own Power of Attorney for Health Care and Finances, plus her End of Life directives with her.  The topic upset her children too much to talk it through with them, and she really wanted closure with the process.  Conveniently, I’m a notary public, so I could notarize her signature while we were working.   She also recommended “5 Wishes”, https://fivewishes.org/, as a guide to help with these tough decisions.

Make Decisions About Your Stuff:

  • If you have specific items to share, write a note now about who should get the item, but more importantly – write a note about Why?  Why do you want the crystal vase to go to your niece, and what makes it important to you?  Tell your story, and the story of your gifts.  I would even suggest  – if you are downsizing or just in a mood to purge, give the treasure to your loved one now, while you can share a story in person.

Make Decisions About Your Service: 

  • The Dress.  Early in my career, I cleaned out a closet with a dear client.  There was a dress hung in the back of the closet, with the dry cleaner bag still on it.  The client was active and healthy at the time, but she told me that was The Dress, and if her family asked, that was The Dress she wanted to be buried in.  I respected her wishes, and we talked a little more about her plans, and then moved on.  She had many more good years.  Last summer, at her wake, seeing her in The Dress made me cry and smile at the same time, I was so glad she had shared her wishes with her family.
  • You may not know this, but in addition to a certified professional organizer,  I am also a liturgical musician and have sung for dozens of funerals.  If you have a favorite song or scripture reading, let someone know now.

This is a weighty topic, I know. But taking a calm and organized approach to getting your affairs in order now will save everyone stress or heartache later.  Just do it!