The Importance of “Filling Your Cup”

When I started writing this content today, I had just listened to my amazing friend, Sara Goggin Young with Power to Believe. She really is extraordinary, you need to check her out on the social media platforms!  She hosts this really cool thing every Tuesday morning called Vibe High.

I listen as I take my morning walk, and she is just so motivating.

Her topic this week was “filling our cup”. Filling our cup.  As in, how do we support ourselves? How do we fill our cup, metaphorically speaking?

Time is weird. I record my podcast a week ahead. I record an episode on Monday, and then the next morning, Tuesday morning, the episode I recorded the week before drops.  Last week, I talked about ADHD and I have loved hearing from some of you about how that article and episode impacted you.  And thank you.

And this week’s topic is Arriving on time, in five minute increments.

I have been talking about habits around leaving, and also habits around arriving home and then also around habits of packing our bag the day before and things like that.

We can absolutely conquer our transitions in little bits of time. And we should. We don’t not have to make big, huge grand gestures to make a difference. Honestly, it’s better if they aren’t huge grand gestures.

We are much better off with small, consistent, intentional, positive effort.

And all of these thoughts and recent client conversations got me thinking about this habit that I have, this brief and impactful habit that I have that I might not have talked about before.

I find it very helpful and I thought I would share.  It helps me manage my transitions – and getting good at managing transitions makes everything better! – and it definitely helps me “fill my cup”. It helps me support me being my best self.

Here goes – There is a post-it note that I stare at when I sit down at my desk, which I do all the time.  The sitting down at my desk part.

And the title says “Homing.

Did you know, I’m a liturgical musician in addition to being a certified professional organizer and organizational coach. And there’s a song we sing called “Lord of All Hopefulness”. It’s a prayer that you would sing throughout the day. There are 4 verses to the song, ‘be there at our waking’, ‘be there at our labors’, ‘be there at our homing’ and ‘be there at our sleeping’.

And “homing” refers to the time when we arrive home. For me, that’s a very comforting image.  Our coming home at the end of the day after our work is done. The word to me means completion and satisfaction. I did the work, I helped the people, and I’m home now and can rest, relax and reset.

And what is on the Homing Post It Note? It’s a list, in order

  • water
  • playlist
  • snack / meal?
  • nature break
  • shower?
  • change clothes?
  • next event?
  • transition bags and stuff
  • bookkeeping
  • curtains, lights and mail (which are all the same step.)

Those are the things that I need to do when I get home, to take care of me, to ease my transition, to fill my cup after a busy day and or before a busy evening.

I can do these arriving home tasks any time of the day, and even all together they take 25 minutes tops.

This Homing List has a special place because I need to remind myself to start with self care, self management, self regulation first.

Let’s break it down: 

Water: I’m almost always dehydrated.  Here’s a clue – we all are.   I have a hard time staying as on top of my water consumption as I should. So the first thing I do when I get home is have a glass of water because I need one.

Playlist: I love music, and the right playlist can relax or entertain or energize me. I have playlists from bands we follow or have become friends of ours, and those make me happy.  I love to listen to Motown while I cook – I don’t know why! But it makes me happy, too.

Snack  / Meal:  Seems self explanatory, but I often need a snack when I get home.  And if I don’t remember to ask the question, it could be a little bit of time before I wonder my energy is lagging, my focus is drifting, my blood sugar has bottomed out and now I am hangry (yes, that is a thing!).  Or, maybe I get home around dinner time and I need to make dinner!

Nature break: Again, this seems obvious, I know.  I shouldn’t need a post-it note to remind me to use the washroom, but sometimes I do.

Next, do I need a shower? Some days I get grubby at work, but this really revved up during pandemic.  During pandemic times, I would only see one client a day and then shower immediately when I got home to keep my family safe. I’m not quite as fanatical about that anymore, but, some days it still needs to happen or I need to shower before my next appointment or event. 

And I almost always need to change my clothes into comfy clothes. Same idea, I don’t really wear outdoor clothes in my house and vice versa.

Next, ask “What is my next event?” This loops back to what I mentioned last week and in the past few months about getting our stuff and self ready to go. As soon as I come home from one thing, is it unpacking from the current day or packing for the next day? So, when I ask the question: next event? I’m answering the question and then:

Transitioning my bags and stuff. I mean, I’ve talked about that recently, with my many-bag-days and making sure that unpacking and putting everything away happens regularly. Otherwise, I’m pretty sure I would be inundated all over my desk or my office floor with bags. Yikes!

Next up is Bookkeeping. And bookkeeping is not necessarily something that everybody needs to do, but I, as a business owner, do need to do it. I have clients who pay me using all sorts of methods and often when I get home, I need to send a PayPal invoice or a Venmo request, or perhaps I need to follow up on scheduling. This also provides an opportunity to file any paperwork that I accumulated throughout the day, put away any receipts, make note on hours that I work today and account for them, etc. This doesn’t take long but it is a very important part of my process.

The final step is “curtains, lights and mail” and that is contingent on the time of day when I arrive home and the season and all that stuff. Sometimes I get home mid-day. And sometimes I arrive early evening and it’s time for me to close the curtains for the night, turn on the lights in my home to make it warm and friendly, and bring in the mail. When I say that out loud, it feels very cozy and inviting. It makes me feel like I’m having a hug, and looping back, that helps fill my cup.

The process itself absolutely fills my cup, gives me a boost and brings my thoughts back to home and family and the things that I find important.

My challenge to you would be to figure out what these steps are for yourself, and how to fill your cup. And how can you make sure it happens on a consistent basis? My example was about habits around coming home.  Maybe you need to head outside to fill your cup, or go exercise or go meet up with friends or go to a class. On the call with my friend and her group, some people loved to cook or be creative with their hands. What is it for you?

And how do you make sure to do it regularly? For example, having this visual reminder for me absolutely helps me to “fill my cup” consistently. Let me know your thoughts!