How should I take this statement? “This was better than I expected.”

I feel like I need to talk about this. And I just have to laugh. I had two in-person clients recently who were new to me and to the organizing process. I met a new client this week who is an amazing person. My clients are so cool. I get to meet such great people. This new client is a good human being doing such good things.

I also worked with a new client last week, that particular client is the daughter of an existing client and wanted me to help her with a project.

Two different clients, two different days, two completely different projects. And they both said “This was better than I expected.”

This week’s client had questions about productivity, time management and routines. That is my jam. I love that.

Last week’s client needed in-person organizing of things. She needed help with closets and organizing, with getting her closet organized around her new job and getting ready in the morning in professional clothes. Routines, too, but mostly the physical structure around getting her clothes organized. That was awesome. Such a satisfying project.

And, as I always do, I checked in with my clients as our appointments progressed. We check in around the agenda for the day, the scope of work, their expectations and how they feel we are doing.

Each of them said “Wow, this is not what I expected at all.”

Obviously, my next question always then is,

“Okay, well, is that good or bad?” and then

“What were your expectations, that this is not what you expected?”,

Yes, I do have questions ready to ask when my clients tell me these things, because they are not the first to say it nor will they be the last. Thankfully, they said, and most do, “No, in a good way, as in ‘This is going much better than I expected.'”

Thank goodness.

They meant: it was going well, they were excited about the process and they were really happy with the work that we had accomplished.

I want to acknowledge that even though apparently they were expecting the process to be rough, they still were willing to take the leap and make the appointment. I want to appreciate that they were brave and that even though they thought it might be hard, they were still committed enough to making change and to the process that they wanted to do it anyway. That is major. They could have just not wanted to do that but they stuck with it. I really respect that they were willing to make that happen even though that apparently they thought it was going to be torture.

I would like to dispel some myths around working with a professional organizer or organizational coach.

Myth #1, I will come in and take over the plan.

I will not, I promise. I tell my organizing and coaching clients, “the agenda is your agenda”. The agenda for our appointments is created by my client with my input around what my clients want to create, what my clients want to see happen. The agenda is your agenda.

For example, let’s imagine that you call me and say, “I want to get organized. I want to organize my closets. I want to maximize the storage space in the closet that I have so that I can find the clothes that I need for getting dressed for work in the morning better.” Great. And I’m not going to come in and say, “you called me and want to work in your closet, but now that I am here, I want to organize your kitchen”.

The agenda is your agenda. Keep in mind, we can adjust the agenda if you’d like, but that is also up to you. Sometimes when we’re making good progress, you may say “I’d like to pause this project and get your opinion on these other two spaces in my house before you go.” And we can do that. But you are still creating the agenda. I’m not there to make you do anything you don’t want to do.

Myth #1.5, If you are unclear on your goals, I am going to tell you what to do.

I see this as related to the first myth, and I assure you, we can figure this out together, too.

Perhaps you know you want to get organized, but you don’t know where to start or which projects are most important, etc. And we can figure out that together, too.

Myth #2, You will be judged or shamed for any disorganization.

No, you will not. I promise you. You are awesome. You have many strengths and skills. And I am betting you are more organized than you think. Most of my clients are more organized than they realize.

And if you’re not, that’s ok, too. I am organized, and I am here to help. I’ve heard from many of my clients over the years that they have been shamed or judged for being disorganized. Hear me now, I’m not going to shame you and neither should any other organizer or coach. There is no shame, there’s no judgment. I don’t expect everyone’s space to be organized. If it were, why would you need an organizer?!

What does happen is active listening, which is not judgment. If you’re calling an organizer or a coach, you are hoping to change your situation or environment. That is not judging, that is hearing what you’re saying. And that how your situation currently is not how you want it to be. That you want it to be different, and we work together to make it different. I can help you, and I have dozens of ideas to help. I’m not going to shame you, there is no judgment. I’m not going to yell, shake my finger or turn around and walk away.

Myth #3, “I’m so overwhelmed, I don’t know where to start.”

Well, this might not be a myth, you really might be overwhelmed. But I am not. And I will help us figure out where to start.

Myth #4: “You’re going to make me get rid of everything.”

I hear this one ALL THE TIME. At organizing appointments, at presentations – ALL THE TIME.

My goal is not to make you get rid of things. That may be an outcome, but that is not the broad goal.

Very often the “getting organized” conversation requires that we change things, right? If the current situation isn’t working, then yes, we need to change.

And, at times, that means we have to purge things completely from our home. And sometimes it means our things need to go elsewhere in our home.

For example, last week when I was working with my client on her closet, I didn’t make her get rid of anything. She had already decided that a few things didn’t work for her anymore, style wise, and we set those aside to donate. But for the majority of our time together, we discussed that with the limited space she had for her current clothes, she could separate her clothes by seasons and put the wintry clothes into storage until Fall. She didn’t get rid of it, we just stored it differently.

There were also some seasonal items like Halloween costumes and Christmas pajamas, so we put those away until Fall, too. The few items that left were her idea. Sometimes purging is part of the solution and sometime it is not, and that will be up to you.

Not a Myth, #5: I understand that calling an organizer or a coach is a leap of faith. To let a stranger into your home and your life is a really big deal. I, and any good organizer or coach, is going to go to great lengths to make you comfortable. I respect your brave decision.

Not a Myth, #6: There might be homework. In coaching, there almost always is, even if it is just processing the learning we gain during our sessions. There’s no mandatory homework. There might be things that you and I agree would be really great ways to move you forward, and we can agree that you will accomplish them, for example, in the two weeks before our next appointment so that we can keep making progress. But that is agreed upon, mutually respectfully. Logically, in terms of what you want to accomplish in the timeframe in which you want to accomplish it. Back to the beginning, “the agenda is your agenda”, right?

To recap,

Whatever it is people expect to have happen, more often than not, I hear a “Wow, that went way better” or “that was more fun that I expected” or “this was the first time someone didn’t yell at me about organizing” or “we got so much done in our time together!”.

Thankfully, that’s what I get more than anything is that the session went way differently, but way better than I had expected.

Please ask questions. Let me know what your preconceived notions are so we can talk about them. If you have fears of any kind, reach out and we can talk them through. Don’t let fear of the unknown keep you from taking the leap and making your life better. Organizing and organizational coaching isn’t painful. It is work, to do and be and get better, but it will most likely go better than expected!