Good enough destinations, inspired by and with thanks to my client P.
We want to be right, right? But we can also be right enough, close enough, good enough. That is my premise for today.
These days, I don’t always write or record conversations about clutter. But a client conversation and a recent Downsizing Presentation reminded me of some points that I want to share this week!
Clutter exists in our physical space, and also our mental space, our emotional space. Perhaps we are making progress towards clearing that clutter, but sometimes that progress slows down, or gets hung up or halted for some reason. Often, that slowdown or hangup is because of decision making and perfectionsim. So let’s look at that.
Clutter in our lives is often a reflection of other things in our lives. A symptom of other challenges, perhaps. And we can delve deeper to examine those other challenges another time, but we can also still make progress without examining the deeper work because let’s face it – we likely all agree, clutter negatively impacts our thoughts, emotions, frame of mind and more.
I have shared before how our physical environments influence our wellness and health. How having clutter can negatively impact our mental and physical health. Having clutter increases symptoms of depression, anxiety, bipolal disorder, ADHD, heart disease, diabetes, and the list goes on. And, that in addition to impacting our mental and physical health, clutter can lead to unsafe or unsanitary situtations. Clutter harbors mold, mildew, dust and other allergens, and it can physically be unsafe if it causes us to stumble or it falls on us, or increases fire risks in extreme sitations.
And, turning all of that around, Clearing Clutter decreases depression, anxiety, symptoms of bipolar disorder and ADHD, improves symptoms of heart disease and diabetes, improves air quality in our homes, sleep quality and overall safety.
Without needing to delve into trauma or personality or neurodiversity, those deeper challenges, we can still clear SOME clutter almost any day. Because we know that having less clutter improves our quality of life in these ways and more.
And yet.
Here’s the thing. I know amazing people and you are one of them! And very often I have conversations with my clients, neighbors, friends or family members, and they all want to part with their clutter to reap the beneifts and live better. But we get stuck on wanting to part with clutter but only in the Right Way or a perfect way, whatever that means. And we delay the positive benefits by waiting around for or puzzling over that one perfect solution, and waiting around for perfect keeps us from taking ANY steps to declutter, which keeps us mired in our clutter and its negative effects.
We focus on finding the perfect solution for parting with our clutter; making lots of money; finding someone who will value this item greatly, like we did when we first bought it 20 years ago; finding the MOST WORTHY cause to donate our items. And we still live in clutter and chaos because these unicorns, these perfect solutions, might not actually exist. Choosing to live with clutter is not logical, when we know the benefits, so let’s look at decision making logically.
I was coaching with a client in December, discussing her work and progress in clearing clutter in the different areas of her home. She wants to live in a cleaner and safer space, and also wants to enjoy her home more. And improve air quality to help with her asthma. And clear some spaces for some home imprements like electrical or plumbing work, or painting.
And as we were talking through her spaces, she metioned some very specific items that she wanted to part with. As soon as she mentioned them, I had three very specific ideas of non-profit organizations that we could donate the items to, but each would require a phone call or an appointment or renting a truck to drop things off, etc. But – let’s recall – we were seeking solutions and I did not want to add to my client’s burdens. So as we discussed possible solutions, I also suggested that we seek some combination of the perfect solutions for some things and also “Good enough” solutions. To help her make the progress she desires while also seeking perfect solutions, if we happen to find them.
Yes, for truly meaninful items, we may continue to seek a perfect destination for our stuff. But most of our stuff isn’t truly meaningful. So what this client and I discussed was creating a rubric, path or process for deciding “Good Enough” solutions to clearing her clutter as she works through the different storage spaces in her home. A decision-making matrix.
Here are some of the questions we came up with, for her and the rest of us, when we determine we no longer want an item, or an item in our home needs to leave.
I like money, money’s nice. Question 1 then, Is the item returnable? And if it is, is the hassle worth it? Meaning, the amount of money we would receive for returning the items is more that the time and effort it takes to return in. (For example, if an item is returnable but requires special shipping or transportation, and the cost of those eats up the money we woud have received in return).
Question 2, Is the item sellable? And is the hassle worth it? Like returning an item, will the amount of money for selling an item be more than the time and effort it takes to sell it? For example, Beanie Babies or bobble heads or beer steins. I’ve had many difficult conversations with clients and loved ones regarding collectibles and their believed worth. Unfortunately, items that we believe are sellable and worth lots of money sometimes… are not.
And, there are other organizers and experts out there that can help you determine if an item has worth and is sellable. I am not that organizer or expert.
Check out my permanent Blog Post regarding resources and destinations for parting with your items.
Next, Question #3, If we can’t get money for the item, is it sharable? Can we give it away? Is there someone that we know personally that can use this item? A friend, a loved one, a neighbor, co-worker, someone on our community? Could I take it somewhere in my community, like to church or the library or the local food pantry, depending on what it is? I also consider sharing items on my community’s Free Box Facebook Page. My Sister-In-Law downsized her mother’s apartment and share many things in her local Buy Nothing group.
And having parameters on those types of groups is helpful, too. For example, “I will post an item on the FB group or groups, check back if there is no response after 1 or 3 or 7 days, and then delete the entry from the page and donate the item (depending on the terms of the group).”
Which leads us to the next question, Is it donatable? Is there a specific person or group or organization that would take this item as a donation? I will take an item down off the Facebook pages, bag it up and drop it off at Goodwill, St. Vincent de Paul, AmVets Purple Hearts, Epilepsy Foundation, Savers, Neat Repeats (a local second hand store), etc. And because I do this for some of my clients, I stop by donation destinations once a week.
For my clients, having this decision making process is helpful, and more importantly, deciding at the beginning of the process that clearing clutter is more important than finding perfect solutions and destinations encourages progress.
I believe most people are truly good people. We want to do the right thing. But perfectionism can trip us up. We can avoid getting stuck if we can get better at decision making. Decision making, getting better at deciding that something is clutter, and then how to part with it is so important for continued progress on the organizational process.
We don’t want to end up with boxes of things by our back door, in our garage, by the front door. We know we want to part with our clutter, and getting good at “Good Enough” keeps your brain from stumbling on the where, what or why. Determine how long you really want to spend on the redistribution of items, and what you will also be okay with if you just need to drop them off somewhere or donate them. I’m not saying all the items, but many!
I also commend you for wanting to do the right thing with those items. And so let’s figure out what the right thing is for ourselves. And then barring the right and perfect destination for your items, let’s decide what good enough looks like and then be ready to make that happen. Clutter cleared is more important than clutter put into the perfect situation. Because, you know, perfect is kind of hard to attain. But good enough – well, I’m all about “good enough” most days!