Category: Life Hacks

The Importance of “Filling Your Cup”

When I started writing this content today, I had just listened to my amazing friend, Sara Goggin Young with Power to Believe. She really is extraordinary, you need to check her out on the social media platforms!  She hosts this really cool thing every Tuesday morning called Vibe High.

I listen as I take my morning walk, and she is just so motivating.

Her topic this week was “filling our cup”. Filling our cup.  As in, how do we support ourselves? How do we fill our cup, metaphorically speaking?

Time is weird. I record my podcast a week ahead. I record an episode on Monday, and then the next morning, Tuesday morning, the episode I recorded the week before drops.  Last week, I talked about ADHD and I have loved hearing from some of you about how that article and episode impacted you.  And thank you.

And this week’s topic is Arriving on time, in five minute increments.

I have been talking about habits around leaving, and also habits around arriving home and then also around habits of packing our bag the day before and things like that.

We can absolutely conquer our transitions in little bits of time. And we should. We don’t not have to make big, huge grand gestures to make a difference. Honestly, it’s better if they aren’t huge grand gestures.

We are much better off with small, consistent, intentional, positive effort.

And all of these thoughts and recent client conversations got me thinking about this habit that I have, this brief and impactful habit that I have that I might not have talked about before.

I find it very helpful and I thought I would share.  It helps me manage my transitions – and getting good at managing transitions makes everything better! – and it definitely helps me “fill my cup”. It helps me support me being my best self.

Here goes – There is a post-it note that I stare at when I sit down at my desk, which I do all the time.  The sitting down at my desk part.

And the title says “Homing.“

Did you know, I’m a liturgical musician in addition to being a certified professional organizer and organizational coach. And there’s a song we sing called “Lord of All Hopefulness”. It’s a prayer that you would sing throughout the day. There are 4 verses to the song, ‘be there at our waking’, ‘be there at our labors’, ‘be there at our homing’ and ‘be there at our sleeping’.

And “homing” refers to the time when we arrive home. For me, that’s a very comforting image.  Our coming home at the end of the day after our work is done. The word to me means completion and satisfaction. I did the work, I helped the people, and I’m home now and can rest, relax and reset.

And what is on the Homing Post It Note? It’s a list, in order

  • water
  • playlist
  • snack / meal?
  • nature break
  • shower?
  • change clothes?
  • next event?
  • transition bags and stuff
  • bookkeeping
  • curtains, lights and mail (which are all the same step.)

Those are the things that I need to do when I get home, to take care of me, to ease my transition, to fill my cup after a busy day and or before a busy evening.

I can do these arriving home tasks any time of the day, and even all together they take 25 minutes tops.

This Homing List has a special place because I need to remind myself to start with self care, self management, self regulation first.

Let’s break it down: 

Water: I’m almost always dehydrated.  Here’s a clue – we all are.   I have a hard time staying as on top of my water consumption as I should. So the first thing I do when I get home is have a glass of water because I need one.

Playlist: I love music, and the right playlist can relax or entertain or energize me. I have playlists from bands we follow or have become friends of ours, and those make me happy.  I love to listen to Motown while I cook – I don’t know why! But it makes me happy, too.

Snack  / Meal:  Seems self explanatory, but I often need a snack when I get home.  And if I don’t remember to ask the question, it could be a little bit of time before I wonder my energy is lagging, my focus is drifting, my blood sugar has bottomed out and now I am hangry (yes, that is a thing!).  Or, maybe I get home around dinner time and I need to make dinner!

Nature break: Again, this seems obvious, I know.  I shouldn’t need a post-it note to remind me to use the washroom, but sometimes I do.

Next, do I need a shower? Some days I get grubby at work, but this really revved up during pandemic.  During pandemic times, I would only see one client a day and then shower immediately when I got home to keep my family safe. I’m not quite as fanatical about that anymore, but, some days it still needs to happen or I need to shower before my next appointment or event. 

And I almost always need to change my clothes into comfy clothes. Same idea, I don’t really wear outdoor clothes in my house and vice versa.

Next, ask “What is my next event?” This loops back to what I mentioned last week and in the past few months about getting our stuff and self ready to go. As soon as I come home from one thing, is it unpacking from the current day or packing for the next day? So, when I ask the question: next event? I’m answering the question and then:

Transitioning my bags and stuff. I mean, I’ve talked about that recently, with my many-bag-days and making sure that unpacking and putting everything away happens regularly. Otherwise, I’m pretty sure I would be inundated all over my desk or my office floor with bags. Yikes!

Next up is Bookkeeping. And bookkeeping is not necessarily something that everybody needs to do, but I, as a business owner, do need to do it. I have clients who pay me using all sorts of methods and often when I get home, I need to send a PayPal invoice or a Venmo request, or perhaps I need to follow up on scheduling. This also provides an opportunity to file any paperwork that I accumulated throughout the day, put away any receipts, make note on hours that I work today and account for them, etc. This doesn’t take long but it is a very important part of my process.

The final step is “curtains, lights and mail” and that is contingent on the time of day when I arrive home and the season and all that stuff. Sometimes I get home mid-day. And sometimes I arrive early evening and it’s time for me to close the curtains for the night, turn on the lights in my home to make it warm and friendly, and bring in the mail. When I say that out loud, it feels very cozy and inviting. It makes me feel like I’m having a hug, and looping back, that helps fill my cup.

The process itself absolutely fills my cup, gives me a boost and brings my thoughts back to home and family and the things that I find important.

My challenge to you would be to figure out what these steps are for yourself, and how to fill your cup. And how can you make sure it happens on a consistent basis? My example was about habits around coming home.  Maybe you need to head outside to fill your cup, or go exercise or go meet up with friends or go to a class. On the call with my friend and her group, some people loved to cook or be creative with their hands. What is it for you?

And how do you make sure to do it regularly? For example, having this visual reminder for me absolutely helps me to “fill my cup” consistently. Let me know your thoughts!

It’s Planning Day! For Me and For You!

I want to get back to the procrastination topics we started a few weeks ago, especially since I’ve been hearing from a lot of you about procrastination!

However… that is not where my brain is today. And instead of fighting my brain, I realized I could use this as a teaching and learning moment for you and for me! Procrastination is important, but it will still be waiting for me when i get back to it (a little procrastination joke there).

Instead, Today is Planning Day! Capital P, capitol D.

Planning Day is more than just a plan for the next hour or today or this week, even though those are great places to start!

PLANNING Day looks a little farther out. As in, Let’s look at this month, this quarter, this year! Where do I want to see me by November 1, or January 1, or by my next birthday?!

Today is a planning day for a lot of reasons. It’s a planning day because it is a new month and a new season.

Today is a planning day because it’s a new quarter. Q Four. I know, that sounds very business-y, but I am running a company here, so things sounds business-y from time to time. Even if I don’t say things like Q3 and Q4 out loud, I think in those terms all the time. Q Four matters, and I like to set goals for quarters and for the year.

Last week, at the end of the third quarter, I checked in on my Q3 goals to see what I had completed or not. And I am quite satisfied with my goal completion rate for Q3.

love this idea from borrowedheaven.com!

And now it’s time to look at what I want to accomplish before the end of 2023. It’s crazy to think about, right? Just this week, I have scheduled several organizing presentations for January and February of 2024. I already had some on the books, but now I have a whole lot more, which is very exciting, but seeing 2024 in print on the contracts, it is quite noteworthy.

For me, it’s a planning day because my oldest son and my daughter-in-law were married the end of September. And it was lovely. There were friends, there was family. The weather was perfect. Everything went smoothly. It’s just wonderful. And there was a lot of work and planning that went into that ahead of time, mostly on the part of the bride and groom. But it occupied my mind and parts of my schedule for the last couple of weeks, too. And now it is blessedly, wonderfully, complete. And then the rest of the world comes back in. It’s a planning day because I need to plot my course , post-wedding.

It’s a planning day, too, because October is my birth month, and I always feel retrospective around my birthday and also, eager to plot my course for the next year. A great time to check in on things, right?

Join me for Planning Day, here’s how!

First, Planning takes time. So set aside some time.

On my schedule this week, today did not start out as a planning day but some client cancellations provided some much needed white space. Sometimes, I end up planning as I drive (I think really clearly when I drive), or spontaneously in an early morning writing session. But, truly, Planning is too important to leave up to chance, so don’t do it that way!

My suggestion is, Don’t wait for a cancellation or a found opportunity. Put Big Picture Planning on the schedule! As I write this, I just hopped into my google calendar and scheduled planning sessions the last week in December and the first week in January.

Next, Give yourself some grace. I want to give myself grace and ask you to do the same in general, in life.

We are so quick to judge ourselves.

I was talking with a client yesterday – she knows who she is! – She was reporting that she didn’t get what she was supposed to get done since our last appointment. And then she mentioned she had COVID since our last appt. THAT MATTERS! That wins. That absolutely wins!

We took a moment to say, look at what you DID accomplish, even with a few weeks of not feeling so great! And we did that before we jumped into the day’s tasks.

I think I am the first one to do that to myself as well. I could look at my list and my schedule and go, oh wow, I’ve got all this stuff to do. What is wrong with me? And the answer is Nothing. Absolutely nothing is wrong with me, life happened. And it was amazing. And now I get to choose how else I want to spend my time.

Therefore, Grace.

Then, Look at the Done List:

I find this step fun and gratifying, but often overlooked. Last week or month or quarter, you got things done! Yeah you!

We can absolutely be proud of what we accomplished. And I am proud. So, look at that done list. Take a moment and bask and revel in what you DID get done.

Last week my accountability partner reminded me that in addition to all the other q3 goals I had, I also successfully helped my mom move to a new home in August. That wasn’t on the original q3 list, but it is noteworthy and made it on the Q3 done list!

A fellow organizing coach Shannon wrote in a recent FB post that she was ready to apologize for not posting a lot recently on SM (I’m guilty of that, too), but then she shifted her perspective and shared what she DID accomplish in the last month or two. And the list was long and fabulous, impressive, wonderful, amazing. And I really appreciated her shift in perspective. It came at just the right time for me to read as well, because it would be easy to get frustrated with what I need to do or what hasn’t gotten done.

OK, and now for the planning:

Look ahead. It’s time to take action, but if we haven’t planned, how do we know what the right action is? Yeah, there’s a truth bomb.

Without a plan, without having sat down and thought about these things, how do you actually know what the right action is?

So we’ve talked about focus areas and I think that’s a great place to start. For a refresher, check out episode #5 I think? Last Decmeber, 2022! Start with what is important to you!

Talking with a client on Monday, she was feeling discombobulated and I absolutely understand. And in the next breath, she was also telling me all the wonderful things that she did with and for her family recently, about a huge professional accomplishment and a huge work project that she successfully completed.

So I used the image of focus areas, but she kind of liked the idea of lanes, or columns on a whiteboard of the different areas of her life.

So family, kids, specific per family member. In addition, she is a professional musician and also has an artistic job not related to music, Home, personal, wellness, personal development. Each had a lane, and she saw them like traffic, with different lanes moving at different speeds but all in the same direction.

List your focus areas (for example, mine are School Board, Ministry, Home / Family, Personal / Wellness, Education and The Company.)

List those focus areas, and then jot down some reasonable 3 month goals, milestones or plans around those focus areas.

What that might look like for me:

In addition to regular board work, two Q4 School Board Goals are: we start a Policy Review this week for the next 6-12 months, and we also have our Annual Conference in November.

In addition to regular weekly ministry, two Q4 Ministry Goals are: my annual Baptismal Prep photo project, and Joyful and successful planning and completion of the liturgical Advent season; Because as a liturgical musician, Advent and Christmas are where it’s at!

Looking at Home and Family, successful Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays would be on the list. And under those items I would list some of the ways I will accomplish these, like communication with family members regarding events, completing the actual days, gift giving, celebrations, etc.

Education: I’ve dropped the ball in this area and 2 goals would be to complete my next certification with the ICD, and read 6 non-fiction books before 12/31/2023.

Looking at my company, I want to set on goal in each of my subcategories. So, one each – a Coaching Goal, Client Goal, Speaking Goal, Community Building Goal and Operations Goal. One thing that I need to accomplish today and this week, in addition to recording this particular podcast, is I also need to plan out my, content calendar for Q Four.

And I have to admit that I have been kind of I haven’t really made note of the plan.

There is a plan, but right now it’s in my head, and I need to actually jot it down per week as to what I want to talk about. If there’s articles I’ve already written that I can use as resources. And it will make my entire quarter go more smoother if I can get that at least on it’s not really on paper, but like, in my planning document today, that would be such a huge help.

PLANNING DAY!

So those are my focus areas. Let’s ask some questions:

  • What are your focus areas, what is important to you?
  • What is one thing that you would like to accomplish by the end of Q4?
  • What will you be proud to look back on, in three months?
  • What has been lingering around on your to-do list, and you know life will be so much better if you just get this thing squared away?
  • Where do I want to see myself by the time I hit my next birthday?
  • Throw in some easy goals, too! some goals are easy to see and even accomplish, but they still need to be listed! For example, obviously, Thanksgiving and Christmas will happen, whether I set them as a goal or not. But they become a place holder and a reminder – yes, these events will take effort, and also their successful completion warrants celebration and a feeling of accomplishment.
  • And leave some room for fun and joy!

So that’s my Planning Day!

So plan with me today or this week. So this is what I’m doing today, and I recommend at least once in a while that you do it for yourself as well.

And if this is one of those things that you need to go back and listen to when it’s Q One for 2024, great. I love it. Let’s do it.

I have these podcasts and articles available all the time to refer back to – 45 episodes so far – if there is something you need a refresher or reminder about.

I hope that you take some time for planning this week. Do it as a gift to yourself. Chart your course not just for the next hour or day or week, but also month and quarter and maybe even year.

I hope you found this helpful. I know it was helpful for me to talk it out, so thank you for listening!

Put Things AWAY! Before procrastination makes us stumble!

I have spent time, in podcasts and articles and newsletters, this year talking about how much easier life is when we leave a few bags packed.

Those bags included, for example, my bag of chargers, my toiletry bag and my go-bag for work. It’s great to have those things ready to grab and go, knowing that they and you are ready for everything.

I love that.

However, I want to take a step back on the “You Are Ready” part. And recognize that while there are some bags that need to stay packed, there are more that should NOT stay packed.

Over the summer, I’ve shared photos or videos on my social media platforms that “That It’s a five bag day or even a six bag day.” I think 6 was the most, thank goodness!

And let me explain: There are many days in my life that require more than one bag. The number of bags on those days were a measure of the complexity of my calendar! As in, one post shared: “Today is a 5 Bag Day – I have a client in the morning, then a presentation in the afternoon, and then I go straight to a school board meeting or a choir rehearsal!”

  • Which means, as I leave my house that morning, I had 5 or 6 bags:
    • The first is my everyday bag (mine’s a backpack);
    • Next, I have my go-bag that I take with me every work day with extra chargers, a change of clothes since occasionally organizing is dirty work, a car snack, a rain coat etc.. That bag is always packed, and is sitting near the back door right now.
    • I also had my cooler lunch bag, since I pack my lunch to save time and money, and to eat healthy.
    • That day I needed a bag with my clothes to change into, from organizing clothes into snazzier presentation clothes;
    • And then the bag with my laptop and content of my presentation, and in this case, also, my bag for board work too.
    • Whew! That’s a lot of stuff! (At one of those summer presentations, a participant suggested I just need to carry one really big bag to hold everything I needed for that day. But he realized as soon as he suggested just one bag that the one bag would have to be huge and very heavy to make that work!)

I recently ran into a friend who mentioned that she loved the Many Bag Day posts because we all feel like that some days, with our variety of roles and responsibilities that we hold. And when this friend mentioned that she loves this idea and it really resonated with her, I said, “I need to do a part two that reminds us all that we also have to unpack the bags at the end of the day!”

And that’s where we’re headed today. The unpacking. Which is literal unpacking, but also a analogy for completion.

Let me explain: I started out talking about how a few bags need to stay packed, but that most don’t. And I mean, seriously, at the end of the day, most bags need unpacked. Now, ok, maybe it’s the next morning. So I’ll give you 24 hours. I guess I don’t really want to, but I get it. But for the most part, all of those bags, once I’m completed with doing all those things, they all come home and the stuff comes back out of the bag.

Because “In the bag” is not where that stuff lives. It should live AWAY. “In a bag” is not away. And we need to put our things away.

  • We need to put our things away because it is likely we have to pack another bag the next day or the day after, with other things in it for that day’s responsibilities.
  • This is assuming a finite amount of things. A finite amount of bags, a finite amount of clothes for presentations. There should be limits.
  • And I also put those things together in different combinations from day to day because as it should be. That makes sense. But the point is, yes, it could be a six bag day, but then I’m going to come home and I’m going to unpack the lunch bag, because day old lunch remains in a cooler bag are disgusting.
  • Or, I’m going to unpack the clothes I wear for work or for my presentation. Those need to go in the hamper, get washed and put back into rotation. A client mentioned their child’s soccer bag – and ALL of that stuff needs washed regularly!
  • My board of education work comes out of the bag because I need to take care of tasks, and I also need to put the binder away after I pulled out the tasks that I need to complete.
  • A truly successful day for me, means that at the end of the day, I’ve completed all my things that I wanted to complete while serving others.

And part of that process, and the signal that everyone is done, is that all of those bags have come back in the house, been emptied completely, and are away, as are their contents.

So, full bags, partial bags, bags when we don’t know what’s in them? What does this have to do with procrastination? Here’s is where I want to shift to thinking about the analogy of the bags.

Let’s think about what I’ve said for the last few minutes in terms of activation and completion.

  • I started my day. I planned to go places and do things.
  • I packed stuff to go with me to do the things, so that I have the tools and accessories to do the things.
  • I successfully did the things. Yeah!
  • I came home, and now I am finishing the things.
  • Wow. Yes. Finishing.

Because finishing is a tough one for some of us. We’re not always so good at that.

Sometimes we procrastinate on starting, and other times we procrastinate on finishing.

So, good for us, we start the work, awesome.

Also yeah us, we did the work. We persevered and completed the work awesome.

But now we need to finish. And for me, as the example, finishing means unpacking the bag, putting all the stuff away.

Completed work is great, but the job is not done till it’s all away. When we shift our thinking to encompass the steps around completion, we set ourselves up to succeed next time.

I made jam a couple of weeks ago and that was great. I learned how to make jam! I am proud of the new skills I acquired. And it’s Delicious! But the work wasn’t totally done until the pot was actually washed and away, right? Jam made AND All the Stuff AWAY was really the finish line.

Completion. The work is done. But completion means work is done and tools are put away. Sometimes we procrastinate on the done part. As in, “Great, I did the work. But now here it all sits.” We can revel when the work is complete. But if , in my case, there are still packed bags by my back door, I’m not actually done.

I have clients who get 85%, or 90 or 90% done on a project. And then they drop the ball on the last 5%. And that is where mental and physical clutter comes in, and negative self talk.

For me, that last 5% is the WooHoo! moment. Don’t deprive yourself of the woohoo moment! The woohoo moment of “I did it!”. The woohoo moment is where it’s at!

Back to the bag idea. Let’s walk through the last 5%:

  • I can take a moment, with my bags around me in my office.
  • I can say – “Yes, I did it!” I served my client well this morning!
  • I ate a healthy lunch, took care of me and put a few snacks in there too.
  • I presented today, knocked that out of the park. Yay me. I love getting to meet people!
  • I safely drove everywhere I needed to go today. Thank you, Lord.
  • I ran a good board meeting and got my board work done.
  • AND NOW, actually and also metaphorically, I’m going to unpack it all and put it all away.

My suggestion this week, after you ponder the actual bags and also the other areas of your life where the bag idea applies, is to craft a habit around leaving time at the end of your day to completely finish the work and unpack the bags. Or file the papers, or put away the large pot you used while canning jam.

I wrote this content first as my podcast content, so I wrote it the last week of September. And I know this is going to be a many bag week! The day this podcast airs and that the newsletter is sent will be just a few days after my oldest son gets married. I know it will have been a wonderful experience. And I also know that soon after all the events are enjoyed, I will take some time and unpack all the bags, real and metaphorical. And I will appreciate and revel in the wonderful completion. And then maybe take a nap.

Find Focus and Fight Distraction!

Recently, I recorded a live video on my back deck. I wanted to talk about Focus. I was feeling out of focus, just blurry. And I was taking steps to get back on track and thought that would be helpful to my community to talk through.

What is really funny to me is that the video did not go well!

The day before, a friend had mentioned that she had “seen my car videos on Instagram”. I do not want that to Be The Thing! “Colleen recording from her Car”! So, I wanted to shake things up a little. I couldn’t record from my front stairs, as I have also done, because we were watering the grass that morning. So, back deck was plan C. I scrapped the first recording. On my second try, as soon as I started recording, my neighbor came out of his house (I live in the Chicago area and my back door is very close to my neighbor’s back door). So I adjusted. And then his dog – and I like my neighbors and the dog – started barking. And then there was a train a mile away that decided to blow its horn. A Lot.

You get the idea.

And this was a recording about focus. Life is just funny.

Sometimes I feel out of focus. I think we all do.

I could spend time dissecting WHY I lost focus. And that is important long term, I suppose. Personally, I am clear on WHY I was feeling unfocused last week. But for today’s purpose, I want to talk about how to find focus again, sharing basic tools to Find Focus and Fight Distraction.

First, we have to start with recognizing the lack of focus. Then, we can think about what to do about it!

When I teach productivity and time management, I mention that one of the most empowering things to know is that we ourselves can change and improve our situation for better productivity and satisfaction. Knowing there are adjustments that I can make helps me to feel better immediately!

So the topic of Focus, and what adjustments we can make when focus is lacking. Because I know for me, I can’t always force focus. And sometimes I try. Early in lockdown, it came to light that I talk to myself while I work from home. Often, to loudly tell myself to FOCUS! And yelling at me, forcing focus… doesn’t work.

Let’s look at what DOES work!

  • The first step, as it always is in coaching, is Awareness. In this case, awareness that you’re out of focus.
  • I have several check-in points in my days:
    • I can use times of transition – like leaving the house, or coming home, or leaving a client’s house or arriving at my next appointment; or
    • There are natural times, too, like getting up, getting out of the shower, transitioning from work day to family time, etc., and these are all great opportunities to check in on myself and my focus.
  • Many times a day, I do a Body Scan
    • If I am feeling unfocused, I can ask some easy questions and check in with me.
    • First question is, What needs need to be met?
      • Maybe I am STARVING! Yep, that can steal focus and cause distraction.
        • Blood sugar can dip, our brains (and bodies) need food and energy to function.
      • Maybe I am Thirsty.
      • I can check in on that body scan – is there anywhere that I am holding tension? Do I have pain or discomfort anywhere?
      • Am I too hot or too cold? I have to say, in summer, I often find myself unfocused because my office is REALLY HOT in the late afternoon and that makes me drowsy. So, I can pull the blinds, turn on a fan, move to a different area of the house, etc! If I’m aware!
      • Maybe it’s time to get up, stretch, take a nature break, etc!
  • Awareness, too – Here is something we don’t often realize that affects us: Our senses.
    • Working in a too dark or too light room can be distracting, even if we don’t realize it. So, check in!
    • Noises – more or less – yes, these matter, too!  Often, we have auditory distractions that are not consciously registering.  So, intentionally scan our selves and our surroundings can help us adjust our environment
  • Other tools we can use:
    • Breathwork:
      • Also in my time management classes, I teach basic breathwork.
      • I teach my participants square breathing – Inhale for 4 counts, hold for 4 counts, exhale for 4 counts and hold 4 counts. That’s IT! This can be a 30-60-90 second exercise – I usually call it a mini-vacation – where we concentrate just on our breath.
      • The re-focusing of our thoughts with the added bonus of an more oxygenated brain almost always helps me to refocus.
    • The Pomodoro Method for productivity,
      • The cycle of 25 minutes of work and 5 minutes of rest that we practice in my Finish Line Friday sessions is a tool I use ALL DAY EVERY DAY to get things done.
      • 25 minutes of work 5 minutes of break, and the reminders to re-focus, just in case I have gotten off track.
      • If we’re going to talk about rest, that leads me to the reminder of my recent podcast on rest and recovery. Check that out if you would like to know more.
    • Body Doubling:
      • If you find you’re feeling distracted, and lacking focus, by all means try some of these other tools as well, but also consider phoning or checking in w a friend via text, then open a zoom room or join a group!
      • You can change your location, too, to work near someone around you who IS focused. Since it’s back-to-school time, I think of a library.
      • In college, I would set up in the library and the entire space was dedicated to focus! Quiet, separate from personal distractions, just the work I needed to do in front of me, and other people around me who were seeking the same focused work! So consider what that looks like for you!
  • What does finding your focus look like to you? Consider these tools next time you feel the focus un-focusing!

Intention: Don’t Leave Important Things Up To Chance

I started composing this content in the car on the way to drop off my son at college.  We took two cars.  I lost the coin flip and had most of the stuff in my car, and my husband and our son were in the other.  And our two different GPS apps sent us two different ways, so we got same place by different routes, different expressways here in the Midwest, around the same time.  Which is good to know, as we’ve often debated which way is faster.

We flipped a coin so my son didn’t feel pressured to choose between my husband or I to ride with, and we didn’t have to feel bad if my son didn’t choose us.  But I digress.

I have a digital document where my editorial content lives.  All my ideas, bits of writings, a schedule outline for the next few months.  In preparation for the solo drive and the thinking time I would have as I drove, I looked at the first two pages of it.  I add new info at the top, and also have the schedule pinned there.  It’s a ridiculously long document, probably close to 50 pages if I printed it, and I will NOT.  Some day soon I need to just delete most of it since I’m shifting my thinking these days. 

But there was a single line at the top left over from the recent Never Be Late Again content, I suddenly realized that yes, that was today’s topic. Not leaving our day up to chance.

So, having left the topic seemingly up to chance, I am going to talk about NOT leaving our day up to chance.

The Sunday we took my son back to school, I spent my time staying out of my son’s way, first, and second, getting my newsletter ready to send out on Tuesday.

Because I did not want to leave the completion of that up to chance.  It’s important to me to publish my newsletter and podcast and I need to be intentional around those tasks to ensure they are completed.

Similarly, I was talking with the college student before he left.  Last year when he started college, he quickly learned that the nice people who cleaned the bathrooms on his dorm floor cleaned the bathroom right around the time he planned to shower so he could make his 9 am class on time.  So he adjusted to a different time.

He is in a different dorm this year, so he needs to learn the rhythm of the new dorm, and this semester’s schedule.  We discussed what time his first class is every day this semester.  So he can adjust. 

When you gain that new information, as soon as you gain that information, you have the opportunity to adjust, to incorporate that new information and, uh, make your day make more sense.  All of that really makes me think about this phrase that’s on my list, don’t leave your day up to chance.

He and I also talked about how every day is different, and they should be, but our routines don’t have to be.  My son mentioned he has friends who are very chaotic when it comes to their routines, and that makes him really anxious. He knows that that’s not for him, and I absolutely respect that because it’s not for me, either. 

So, we can create routines around routine needs and tasks, we can be intentional about the important things, and we can leave the questions, the mysteries, the variables, etc., for other times of the day. 

The point is, being Intentional is NOT not leaving your routines or important things up to chance.  That’s it. It’s being intentional with how you want to spend the first or last 20 minutes to 2 hours, whatever that looks like for you, how you want to spend that for yourself. And not leaving it up to chance, not leaving it up to whim, or how the rest of the world feels like you need to spend your day. Right?

So what does that look like?

I’ve been re-working my own morning routines the last few weeks, adding in some things that I’d like to achieve.  And this is NOT ME wanting to pack even more productivity in my morning. No, I actually want to pack more meditation and calm and journaling in my morning and having a little more room to breathe.  So it’s not just packing more things, tasks, expectations, responsibilities into our morning. It is being intentional with what is IMPORTANT. For me, that is intentionally balancing productivity with rest and recovery, which we explored in a recent podcast.

Not leaving your day up to chance means it’s your turn to choose. And what does that look like for you? If you know that something is important in your day (“Important” means, meets a need, helps you meet your goals, supports what it is that you want to achieve), don’t leave it up to chance, to “Well, I’ll get to it if I get to it.”

So back to my original case study.  The most important thing that I could do on move-in day was to successfully get my son to school feeling supported, excited, capable, energized, whatever that looks like for him. And so what that looked like for us was, in the weeks leading up to move-in day, to check in regularly in the packing process to make sure he had what he needed. A successful transition was NOT going to happen by chance.

He did the work himself, because it is his work to do and he’s awesome. But I did things, too, to not leave success up to chance. My husband and I both independently filled the gas tanks the day before. I love that. We both did not want to leave success up to chance.

And in the midst of making sure that he had everything he needed, to not leave the important things up to chance, I made sure, because my next two days are going to be extremely busy supporting loved ones, that my important tasks also weren’t left up to chance.  I made sure to get my newsletter out on time, which is very important to me for lots of reasons. I hit “send” on that 48 hours in advance because it’s important.  I also started to think about the next day, when I would be back on the road again to help with a different loved one with a move in Michigan. I’d like to think all will be well, but that depends on many variables – weather, traffic, ease of move-in, that I don’t have control over!  And I’ll be ready to adjust, that’s fine.  Because I was intentional and completed the other important tasks already.

Another example to make my point: Years ago, a client said she was waiting for the day when she would wake up, spring out of bed and feel motivated and ready to organize, just spontaneously. She expected that she would wake up one day, and that was going to be her reality.  AND she was going to wait until that magic day came. But that day had NOT happened in 50 some years. I challenged her to say, if it has never happened before, are you sure that it is going to happen? And is organizing something you should leave up to chance?  This was somebody who had reached out to me because it was important for her to get organized, enough so to call somebody to find support. And I absolutely respect that. However, I wouldn’t want her to base future progress on the motivated morning that may or may not magically happen. The stars would align, the right combination of mood and energy and sleep and opportunity in the day, and suddenly, poof.  And I would challenge all of us to NOT use this way to strategize.

There are facets of our lives that are very important. And once we have established what those are, what those Focus Areas, people, relationships, situations, skill building, what it is in our life that’s important, we don’t leave those things up to chance.

I’m not saying that there can’t be flexibility. There MUST be flexibility, it’s not optional.  But if there’s something that you deem to be important, again, whatever that means to you, then don’t leave it up to chance. Do what you can to make that thing happen. And, I’m not saying it has to happen all at once. But we can’t wait for the perfect opportunity to happen before we act because that is unlikely to yield the results we are seeking. We have to DO the actions and recognize the important things that need done, and not leave important things up to chance.

The Importance of Rest and Recovery

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I am not an expert on Rest and Recovery (strong start, I know!). I wish I was, but I’m not.  But I am an expert in time management and productivity, and Rest and Recovery are definitely part of Time Management and Productivity.

As a coach, I have conversations with my clients about Rest and Recovery because they are the experts about themselves and together we can have a conversation about what they want. We can set intentions and make plans, based on what they need to flourish in life.

It’s interesting to me – I sat down to write this on a Sunday afternoon, and suddenly got so sleepy that I just wanted to take a little nap! And the best part is that, since it’s Sunday, I could and I did!

Today I want to talk about Rest and Recovery. And I want to tell you about my herb garden.

We have been in and out of town these last few weeks.  And still my garden grew.  I didn’t do anything to it (other than water it), or ask anything of it, but it still grew.

And, I think perhaps BECAUSE I ignored it and let it be and just do its thing, It Grew. 

Also interesting, the topic of “Rest and Recovery” has been an intended topic on my editorial content calendar for me for a month or two, but I have been too busy or had too many other things to talk about, to make time for it.

A few weeks ago, I mentioned that we can ask ourselves the question of “what would help us the most”, what can you do to help Future You the most. And sometimes the answer is “rest and recovery”.

When I started thinking about this topic, I came across this quote by Stacie Swift,

“Sometimes the reason everything feels too much is because it is. You’re only one lovely person who can only do and give so much. Be Kind to Yourself.” 

Relatedly, what is your phone battery life at this moment?  (Ha, just plugged mine in, when I thought to ask that.  It was at 39%.) I always start the day fully charged, but some days I can plow through most of the charge before the end of the day. 

And have you noticed? Once you know your phone battery is below a certain percent, you start to feel the pinch. You and I, we change our behavior, knowing that our battery life is limited.  We opt to not do things on our phone, perhaps we change the screen brightness or make other adjustments.  And we might obsess over when we can get it plugged in again. 

Because we don’t want to be caught at 8% and then really need to do something important.

I have a charging cord next to my desk that fits all three of my apple devices (airpods, phone and Ipad).  Once my phone is charged up again, I will plug in my Ipad (73%, read a book and did some streaming before I fell asleep last night.) I have habits around plugging in and recharging my devices, and also my self.

The past few months, I have spent a lot of time talking about what “Ready” looks like, how to be and feel ready for whatever life might throw our way. And that includes our own energy and self.

I am an active person, enthusiastic and full of movement.  But that energy has to come from somewhere and so I need to rest and recover. And regardless of what Your baseline is, I guarantee that you also need in your life to have regular sessions to rest and recover to survive, to maintain your usual daily life and to move ahead with whatever it is that you want to move ahead with.

Perhaps it is a sign of aging, but I cannot push my limits of energy and focus as far as I used to be able to.  I would prefer to think this is a sign of wisdom, but it could just be necessity! 

We can push and push and push for a while, with only a few negative effects. But the precursor to not feeling well is to feel run down, and we can’t ignore either feeling.

Opting out of recovery no longer works for me or is sustainable, and actually is a recipe for disaster.  Eventually, stress and fatigue and the effects of them come out, bidden or unbidden.

I liked this quote from @MegDurham_ on Insta,

“If you don’t want to burn out, stop living life like you’re on fire.”

I have never been good at taking it easy, and that is not actually what I am advocating for, unless you’d like to – and then go for it! What I have gotten better at is Regular Maintenance, including

  • Good sleep,
  • adequate hydration,
  • healthier food choices,
  • supplementation,
  • meditation,
  • choosing quiet time instead of interactions, and  
  • better scheduling (though I still stumble and even fall in this area sometime).

Let’s think about three kinds of energy: physical and mental and emotional energy (I guess this is my day to quote thought leaders, because I was reminded of these three kinds of energy by Brendon Bouchard on a recent podcast I listened to). And when I think about Rest and Recovery, it’s not just about energy – our bodies actually require time to mend.

I don’t usually like to talk about the negative, but we have to know this for ourselves: What is it that drains your battery?  I’ll share mine:

  • Worry / Concern.  When my kids are going through something big, I am going through it, too (whether they know it or not.)  OR when my mom or another loved one is in the hospital, that is a steady low-level drain of worry.  Jumping every time the phone rings, hypervigilance, analyzing details, communication, etc.
  • Energy vampires: yes that is really a thing. I bring positive energy with me, and some folks count on that positive energy, and that’s ok.  But some folks take more than I have to give.  In addition, I am an empathetic person and may take on the emotions of others in my environment if I am not careful. 
  • I mentioned in my recent hiking article and podcast that Rest and Recovery after major hikes MUST happen if I expect my body to continue to move.
  • Life! I have a family to love and a home to manage. I work full time plus add in the occasional singing gig; I volunteer for my Parish in ministries; I serve on our local School Board.  That is a lot, and I wouldn’t change a thing, but yes – I get tired!
  • This week, I encourage you to look around your life and determine where those energy leaks may be – the slow trickles and the big gushes!

And what do Rest and Recovery look like for you?  I use myself as an example a lot, because then I don’t have to change names or ask permission.  For me, Rest and Recovery look like….

  • A break from whatever my current exertion is, physical exercise, mental work, emotional overload.
    • It can be 30 seconds, it can be 5 minutes, it can be a day a week or a month.  But it is NOT optional.  When we try to make it optional and still push the limits, burnout or illness may occur.
  • Checking in with myself physically, mentally or emotionally, several times a day and determining what I might need in that moment to take care of me.
  • Adjusting my pace, either physically slowing down or taking a few moments to collect myself.
  • Actual interventions like food, water, rest, sleep, square breathing or actual meditation if I have more time;
  • Awareness for yourself if you are an extrovert (you find energy in interacting with other people), an introvert (you find energy from being along), or an ambivert (how you find energy changes between needing to be around others and needing to be alone), and acting accordingly.

This week, let me advocate for you and for me, and remind us all that Rest and Recovery are not just a really good idea, they are actually essential ingredients for our well-being. We can set the intention to acknowledge that Rest and Recovery time matter, we can be aware of how we are feeling, and we can make efforts to take care of ourselves.

How To Help Future You!

Last week in a video on Social Media, I asked the question “What would help you the most to be done with, to get completed this week?”

As in, asking myself: “If I could get this one thing… (fill in blank here…) done:

  • a lot of other things would fall into place;
  • I wouldn’t have to spend anymore mental energy on it;
  • I could move on to other tasks or projects; or
  • I could just stop thinking about it!”

For me, the answer last week was: moving clients to the scheduled column; and taking care of some errands that were once-and-dones (and not recurring errands).

Also, last week, I attended my monthly Leadership / Non-profit Mastermind meeting where we discussed how the summer schedule is often different than the rest of the year, and how that different schedule can provide different opportunities. And, how to take advantage of those different opportunities.

So, my question to you and to me this week, is to zoom out a little and ask:

  • “What would help you the most to be done with, to get completed this summer? What can you do now, in this more relaxed and expansive time, to set yourself up to succeed this Fall?

Summer is indeed different for me, schedule- and responsibility-wise. Professionally, not too much changes with my client load and presentations. But my other responsibilities are different. For example, I attend MANY fewer meetings in the summer.

Did you know? I am a school board member for my local school district. And summer has more committee work and planning since students are not in the buildings. The day-to-day work is much different. The work for me is more self-directed and the deadlines are farther in the future.

Of course, self directed learning is is sometimes dangerous territory – it’s easy to get distracted when working isn’t URGENT! But I digress.

The point is, for Board work, if I ask myself this question:

What would help the most to be done with, to get completed this summer? What to do now, in this more relaxed and expansive time, to set up to succeed this Fall?

The answer is, In the summer to do myself a favor this Fall, I can close out some small projects and clean up some documents that never seem to get completed during the year.

In addition to board work, I run a choir for my Parish. Post-pandemic, I am very happy to say that we returned to a more consistent schedule after Easter this past Spring. We still take summers off, but I know we will sing Masses this Fall. And for me, the most time consuming and stressful part of running a choir is NOT managing a dozen people or singing in front of hundreds, it is setting up our song lists every week and month.

So, to ask the question again, “What would help you the most to be done with, to get completed this summer? What can you do now, in this more relaxed and expansive time, to set yourself up to succeed this Fall?

Here is the thing – If you don’t know this, I am Catholic and the readings and therefore the song selection works on a rotating year schedule, and are determined years in advance. Which means I can use summer time to set the line-ups now for September 2023 to May 2024 and save myself a while lot of struggle during the busier time of year.

So this is how this tool, this question, can work!

Let’s break it down a little more!

  • First, we need to look at our Focus Areas (if you need to review, you can go back and check out episode #5, or check out this article).
  • Once we know what is important to us, we can look at what projects we can complete or perhaps start in this summer schedule. My board work and my choir work are both part of my Focus Area of Service, and since I know they are important to me, I can look a little closer at what to do this summer to help me all year round.
  • Once we’ve identified the project, we need to BREAK IT DOWN INTO LITTLE TINY PIECES. A highly effective strategy to fight overwhelm and to make progress on any task is to recognize that all large projects are a series of small projects.
  • And then take action, and stay on track! And, how to stay on track?
    • Remind yourself that completing this project will help future you!
    • It’s important to make room for those important but non-urgent (see my Eisenhower Box blog article, or re-listen to podcast episode #4!) tasks to still make they happen. Do not leave your scheduling up to chance! Dedicate white space – actually schedule time to complete those project pieces!
    • Perhaps you can schedule the project time in place of the typical scheduled time. For example, during the school year I have a monthly meeting on a Monday afternoons – I could absolutely use that found time this summer to work on my school board notes and projects.
    • Or
    • I can use a couple for hours on a Wednesday evening when we typically would be in rehearsal to work on my weekly mass line-ups for Fall, since I am often thinking musical thoughts that evening anyway!
    • Finally, create at least a little urgency, if you find that motivating. I know I do.
      • In talking to a friend and networking partner today, she said and I quote “Oh no rush on those items you promised, just take your time.” and I said “No! Never tell me to take my time, or I lose urgency!” So I will take care of our tasks ASAP and let her take her time in responding!

“What would help you the most to be done with, to get completed this week?” And this summer?

Once we have created multiple small projects instead of large ones, we can assign deadlines at regular intervals throughout the summer months to create some urgency and get things done! Do future you a favor, set your plan and then make some progress on those tasks that will help Future You the most!

What Does “Ready” Look Like For You?

What does Ready look like for you?

In one of my favorite short presentations entitled “How to Never Be Late Again”, I list 4 ways to never be late again. I feel like that presentation would make a great podcast around back to school time in August, so stay tuned!

For today, though, one way to never be late again deserves it’s own article and podcast episode!

The idea is to “Prepare to leave again as soon as you arrive home.” Get back to “ready”, return to ready, whatever that looks like for you.

This is my typical strategy for most things in life, so I don’t even think about it most days. But a friend recently mentioned that my firefighter analogy resonated with her because she had gotten out of the Back to Ready habit during the pandemic and was slowly getting back to it.

So, here we go:

Consider ambulance drivers and fire fighters. They clean up and reload their rig after every call. Now, for the rest of us, Life is not an emergency, but it’s easier to be flexible when we know we’re prepared.

Did you know? I have a firefighter family. My dad is a retired firefighter, his dad was a firefighter and my oldest brother just retired after 30 years.

I remember visiting my dad at the firehouse when I was a kid, and there was a tower for the hoses. It seemed tall to me. Most things do.

When the rig comes back from a fire, from using a fire hose, the hoses are washed and hung up in the tower to dry, to unkink and smooth out, etc. Because you have to take really good care of fire hoses.

The pressure, the amount of water that courses through those, per minute is astonishing when they are being used to put out a fire. They need to be well tended so they don’t burst.

That means washing them, drying them out between uses, hanging them straight so there’s no kinks or folds, letting them hang out and dry and then rolling them up.

Once the firefighters hang out the recently used hose, they restock the rig with the clean and dry ones. Immediately upon returning back from a call, they also restock the rig with supplies, their turnout gear, safety precautions, and medical equipment. And imagine an ambulance, right? Same deal.

So if you called 911 and need an ambulance or a firetruck, do you want to imagine that they are standing in the bay of the firehouse, restocking the rig after you call?

No. You want them to be already on their way when you call, right?! They need to have all the things, but not too many things. They need to have everything they need and not much more because that would be a very full rig. But you, as the caller, want to know that it’s restocked and ready and waiting. And honestly, that next call could come in 2 minutes, or it could come in 2 hours, but it doesn’t matter because whenever it happens, they’re ready to go.

Back to ready. Right? Right. whatever that looks like for you.

So the idea is to prepare to leave again, as soon as you arrive home.

What I am NOT suggesting is that we need to live in this heightened state of panic, anxiety, emergency. I never want us to feel that way. And actually, what I’m suggesting – Getting into the practice of getting ready to leave – would help you to feel a lot less stressed. More prepared, less stressed, more ready for whatever the day may bring.

What I also like about this strategy, too, is that it can be personalized. You know for yourself and for your family or your office, your work, whatever what ready looks like. I think that that’s a big piece of it, is, knowing what ready looks like.

I was on a retreat in February of 2020. At one of the presentations I attended, the presenter talked about your core.

She didn’t say getting back to normal, she talked about getting back to your core, your baseline? What is your core? What is your starting point on any given day or week? What is that for you? My return to ready.

I spoke last week about helping with transitions by having a physical location to drop all the things out of our pockets and a habit around cleaning things out.

So you’re ready to repack and put things away and whatever that would be. So again, what is that for you? What is ready?

Certainly when I get home, there are things that I do. I put my bag in the same place every day when I arrive home. I unpack my water bottles and put them in the sink. I make sure that my keys are clipped onto my handbag (it’s a backpack).

And if I’ve used up anything in my backpack that needs to be replaced (gum, tissues, a pen, cash), I replace that immediately, because I am going to remember that I used something up much more clearly the moment I get home versus a day or a week or a month later when it comes time for me to leave. If I wait to check everything over again and maybe refill then I’m going to forget something. My go-to is to make sure that I have restocked immediately upon arriving home, as opposed to waiting until it’s time to leave to do the restock.

Do you see the difference? It is a big difference. It’s a different way of thinking of things. But it really does matter when we shift to being ready, no matter what, versus having to prepare when it’s time to go.

Now, if my husband’s listening to this, he also knows that sometimes when I’m getting ready to go, lately, occasionally, I have forgotten my phone. (In my defense, that “forgetting” means I walk out the back door and get in the car before going back for it, so is that really forgetting?)

The most likely reason that I have forgotten my phone is because I am distracted, often by people. The second most likely reason is because it wasn’t where it belonged, which, if it’s not on my person, is supposed to be my desk, unless I’m in bed and then it’s on the table next to me. So I have habits around those things. That’s what ready means to me. Ready to go. This is truly the opposite of, an emergency.

I mean, it’s still an emergency if somebody calls 911 and needs a fire truck or an ambulance. My other example is from when my kids were little. And if you ever had to take a child to the ER, you don’t want to have to stop and pack the diaper bag. If you want to go, you need to go, right?

You also need to have an idea of what stocked looks like, right? So, again, it’s not that I packed a million outfits or whatever, but, for example, a stocked diaper bag for the babysitter’s house was six clean diapers. The wipes were wipe container was full. There were two sleepers, two outfits, two pairs of socks, let’s say two blankets, let’s say five burp cloths, whatever that standard level of packed or ready was.

And I knew what that was, and as soon as we would get home from going places or the sitter, I would make sure that it was restocked and ready to go. I would replace what had been used and make sure we were back to ready. I didn’t pack a million things. I just made sure the essentials were covered, bag was packed, we were ready for whatever whenever!

If we needed to just up and go, we absolutely could. And that was so freeing. We could go in an emergency but we could also just head out the door and go to the park or go to the library or whatever, and I didn’t have to fumble and repack because that was already done. And we didn’t get stuck anywhere without the essentials. We could set it aside and forget it, which is great. That is what Ready meant for us.

So how do we translate that into our everyday? Where is it in your life? What goes with you? What is it that needs to, be easier? Where would this idea help you? Let me know what you think, I’d love to hear from you!

Finish Your Week Strong With Finish Line Friday

Did you know? I host a free weekly productivity session, “Finish Line Friday”, for my community.

Based on the ideas of Accountability and Body Doubling (both recent Weekly Themes), my participants and I spend time together working side by side on our own tasks.

Statistically speaking, the most productive ratio of work to rest is 52 minutes of work and 10 minutes of rest, repeated in cycles. In Finish Line Friday, we use the Pomodoro Technique (read more here!) for productivity. The Pomodoro Technique takes the 52 / 10 ratio and breaks that into cycles of 25 minutes of work and 5 minutes of rest.

We work through 4 cycles of 25 and 5, and then wrap up and taking a little longer break before getting back to work.

Some of the benefits of Finish Line Friday include:

  • Camaraderie and a pleasant group to work with:
    • And some positive energy to share!
    • I am a verbal processor and it helps me to say out loud to others what I want to work on for the next 25 or 50 minutes
  • A deeper dive on Time Management:
    • Participants report arriving at a better grasp of just how long certain types of task take, and getting better about budgeting the time to get things done.
    • Similarly, participants have mentioned that FLF helps them to know what 25 minutes feel like. Or 50.
      • Which, again, helps us going forward with planning our work and our time.
      • We don’t often know what a certain amount of time feels like.  And since we all have many responsibilities, it is helpful to know how long to dedicate towards a project before we need to pause that work and switch to other work.
    • Breaking down projects into 25 minute chunks keeps us making progress without feeling overwhelmed!
  • Building the Productivity Muscles!
    • In life, we don’t always get to complete a task or project.  But making progress on it today, even if we just get to work on it for an hour or two, is still better than not working on it all.  And the more progress we make, the better idea we get of just what is left to finish until we can call the work complete!
  • Conversely, we’re reminded that productivity improves when breaks happen!
    • Using the Pomodoro Method helps me be better about taking breaks.  Whoo boy, I am seriously terrible about this sometimes!
    • I love it when I seem to hit a stride in my work and can just focus and keep working on getting a project complete.  So I have been known to just commit to work and sit… at  my computer… for 3 or 4 hours straight with hyperfocus.  And then… the brain starts to get fuzzy, my shoulders are tight and I have a headache, I’m starving, my feet fell asleep, my water glass has been empty for hours and now I am completely spent.  So, as much as I LOVE a good focus session when I am in the zone, I MUST get up and move around at regular intervals.

Consider joining us for Finish Line Friday, for productivity and a supportive community! Email me to sign up, Colleen@peaceofmindpo.com!

Body Double: Prepositions and Productivity

Let’s talk Prepositions.

And Productivity.

Prepositions and Productivity.

Last night, I had an epiphany: I realized I should think of this week’s topic as a podcast first and THEN an article, and not the other way around, which would be my usual approach. However, sometimes things are just easier to say than they are to write.

For example, what I want to talk about this week is something called Body Doubling. Body Doubling is… well, it’s many things. It’s an awareness. It is a strategy. It is a tool to use for greater productivity, if and when you need it. And isn’t that the best sort of tool or strategy, the one you can use as needed? And it all starts with awareness.

Another term for Body Doubling is “Parallel Work”, and I really like that term as well. Let’s face it, the term “Body Doubling” sometimes sounds like we’re talking about space aliens in some b movie from the 80s.

Body Doubling is the phenomenon? idea? awareness? that sometimes we work better with others. We may work better with others even if we aren’t working on the same work. With others, among others, around others, beside others, by and near other people, and any other prepositions we can use!

We can be motivated, inspired, accountable and anchored to our work simply by the presence of another person or persons. We can model the productivity to others, or be modeled to, to get the work done. We don’t necessarily have to work with people on the the same project. We can each work independently on what we need to complete. But just being in the midst of other people working can help us to stay more focused on our own work.

I’ve noticed an increase lately of conversations and articles about body doubling, probably from a similar increase in remote working and more generally accepted conversations about neurodiversity, since body doubling is a strategy that can work for all people, and also people with ADHD and other neuro-diversities.

My youngest son is away at college. While he was home for break, I mentioned that I had to hop on a zoom call, that a group of us were working on our own projects but together so we’re more committed to getting things done.  He said, “Oh, body doubling”.  Like it was obvious. I love that this idea is readily discussed and is accessible to him.  Body doubling is not news. Obviously, people have been working together for better productivity for EVER. But the idea that this is actually a strategy that can be used as necessary might be news to you.

Let’s look at different instances when Body Doubling shows up.

  • Before I had a name for it, I recognized that sometimes my sons needed to work at the dining room table together with me or with each other to get their homework done. And sometimes they needed to work alone. And it was helpful to know we had a choice.
  • Just yesterday, body doubling occurred when my husband asked me if I wanted to take a walk. Did it occur to me to take a walk on my own? Maybe. But since we agreed to walk and discussed when and where to go, we were more likely to make it happen (and we did!).
  • Years ago, a client and friend said it would be enough for me to just come and sit and read in her living room while she organized, because having someone there with her helped her to focus on the projects.
  • A bookkeeper friend shares office space with a friend during tax season because she knows she is less likely to get distracted when she is working side by side with someone else working on taxes.
  • A friend struggled early in lockdown when his office went fully remote. He had been unaware of the boost to productivity he experienced working side by side with coworkers until that was gone and he struggled to stay motivated and get things done.
  • A friend realized that a partner and friend along for the ride would make a dreaded errand less dreadful. So she enlisted a friend to join her for the errand and they made an afternoon of it. And the errand was completed.
  • As an organizer, I have known about body doubling for years because it is a strategy that comes from working with a professional organizer. Making an appointment to organize makes organizing happen. I am not doing the work for my clients but WITH them, anchoring them to the space and to the work.

Now that we know that body doubling works, let’s look at how to work it into our productivity practices.

  • The First Step Is Always Awareness:
    • Identify that body doubling is a strategy, and realize that you might be a person who benefits from it!
  • How To Use the Tool:
    • Ask yourself, How Do You Do Your Best Work? Identify what types of work benefits from body doubling.
      • For example, for me, intense brain work tasks and final edits are best done alone, silent and with no distraction. But most other types of my work benefit from working alongside others. So I plan accordingly.
    • Enlist Aid:
      • When looking for a body double, find someone who matches or improves your energy. If you’re struggling to get things done, reach out to someone who is motivated and positive!
      • “Phone a friend” but be choosy about the friend! Phone a friend, but make sure that friend will be someone who is supportive of your productivity!
      • Everyone Can Win: Set up an arrangement, like you will body double with your friend for her organizing project this week, and she can come over and be your body double for your closet project next week!
    • Join a Group!
      • A client (a college professor) has been part of Writing Groups for years. Fellow academics get together regularly, either in-person or virtually, and dedicate time just for goal setting and writing.
      • I joined Momentum Sessions (https://focus-sessions.momentumdash.com) so I can hop into a focus group to get work done. Seeing other folks on the screen in our zoom room helps me to stay on track!
      • Join me for Finish Line Friday every Friday morning!
      • For another way to feel like you have a body-double, try https://coffitivity.com/
    • Start Your Own Group:
      • A friend started a morning walking group in her neighborhood, to help her friends (for sure!) but also to help herself commit to walking!
      • Start a group at work!
        • Most office environments are geared to parallel work, but you may want to discuss how to avoid disruptions if you start a group.
        • Set up boundaries for group work, for example, quiet or silence for part of the time, expectations from the different group members, length of time per session, etc.
    • Check out your usual haunts – do you find that you can be more productive at your local coffee shop, library, college campus, etc? Make an appointment with yourself to work from there!

Now that you know more about body doubling and how it works, it’s time to step back and look at your tasks and work for this week and strategize how to make body doubling work for you!