Category: Organized Family

Look Inside and Out, and Find Your Motivators!

I dream of discovering One Simple Elegant Equation that every person can use to flip the switch inside, to motivate them to get up and ACT!  That one equation that would energize us to organize and actualize, to make a better life.

There are two problems with this dream.  First, there is no one simple answer because each of us is different.  Second, it is not up to Me to motivate You.  I cannot make you do anything, aside from physically moving you from point A to point B.  Your motivation comes from you, not me.

I can certainly help you find it and use it, though!  So let’s find some MOTIVATION!

External Motivation:

I have a client who relies solely on External Motivation.  She waits until the last minute to take care of business, or to clean the house for major events.  ‘Someone is coming over, I’ll clean up.’  ‘I’ll pay my bills because they came due, but they will be late and I’ll pay fees.’  She is waiting to be “in the mood to organize.”,  She states that if no one ever came by the house again, she would never clean it again.   She gets tasks done, but in a hurried and incomplete fashion.

The “mood” to organize may never come.  If that urge to organize hasn’t happened recently, why should we expect it?  Most days we can’t wait, we just need to move, to act, to organize even if we don’t feel like it.  That is when we need to find Internal Motivation.

Internal Motivation:

The next day I walked with a friend.  She and I had both been cleaning bathrooms before our walk because Friday is her cleaning day, too.  Motivation that comes from inside, from established routines and habits and the desire to do the right thing, that is internal motivation.

Motivation in general:

Both types of motivation are good.  People can find motivation in their own heads or in the world around them, or both.  I take out the trash on our weekly trash day (external) but also when it gets full and I am cleaning my house (internal).

Motivation can come from many sources.  At basic levels, motivation comes from fear.  Ever heard of the fight or flight response?   We are motivated to act to avoid pain, punishment, embarrassment or negative reactions.  But we humans can attain loftier goals than just survival.  We can find positive ways to motivate ourselves to act.   I often get asked “How do I get co-workers / my family / myself to organize?”  The answer is “find motivators”.

Professionally, motivators are easy to spot.  They include paychecks, promotions, perks and professional esteem.  Personal motivators for yourself and others may be tougher to find, but they do exist!!  Here’s where to find yours:

  • Goals and dreams motivate us.  Rome was not built in a day, and neither is anything else worth having.  Keep your goals in mind and when you need motivation to act, ask yourself what one thing you could do right now to move closer to your goal.  Then get up and do it.
  • Sometimes it’s OK to be selfish and ask “What’s in it for me?”.  If we’re talking about organizing, you will gain money from a a business venture, better planning, or a garage sale.  You gain an empty cabinet or drawer for supplies for a new hobby, a cleaner house that you can invite guests to, etc.
  • Look for something concrete.  Use “I want” statements, and be specific.  Like….
  1. I want to be less stressed in the morning, so I am motivated to create and stick to a better routine.
  2. I want more money to go on vacation or make a major purchase, so I am going to get organized in my shopping and bill paying and spend less.
  • Recognize cause and effect.  If your kids want a new game system, show them that selling extra toys clears clutter and earns money.  For you or your spouse, a clean garage means no scraping snow come winter.
  • Use growth and life transitions as opportunities to make positive change.  Transitions give us      opportunities to re-invent ourselves. New jobs, new communities, new seasons, maybe just a new day – it is always a good time to make positive change.  Personal growth encourages us to look      outside ourselves at the world around us and inside ourselves to know ourselves better.  Both kinds of motivators!
  • Peer pressure is not all bad.  So long as you like and respect your peers, wanting to be more like them can be a great motivator.  Hanging out with well-informed, well-educated, generous, physically fit people?  Sure, I want to be like them!  What can I do to be more like these  great people I admire?

So, where in your life are you looking for motivation?  Let me know, and try one of the suggestions listed above.  You can change your life, you have that power.  Look inside or out and use your motivators!

10 Habits for the Organized Student at School

It is vital for a student’s academic success
to find what they need when they need it.

     I offer a class called NAPO In The Schools, a service project through the National Association of Professional Organizers (NAPO.net) geared towards helping 3rd-5th graders get and stay organized.   Establishing organization skills early helps in school and in life.  I spend 50 minutes with the student groups helping them to positively answer:  “Can you find what you need when you need it?”

     Here are 10 suggestions to help your student ‘find what they need when they need it’ at school.

Time Management:

1.  Take a minute every day to tidy up your desk or locker and get rid of trash.  Maintenance is worth the time investment. 

2.  Break big tasks into little manageable pieces:  For example, if you are working on a book report, reading a chapter a day is good for your final grade and personal satisfaction, instead of skimming in a hurry the night before a report is due.

Stuff Management:

3.  When it is time to move, either from class to class, or when you are heading home for the day, think ahead to your next activity, and grab all the stuff you need, so you don’t have to come back for anything.

4.  Make it easy to find your stuff.  Color code your notebooks and folders, or at least CLEARLY LABEL each notebook, so you don’t grab the wrong one.

5.  When it is time to go home, go through a check list in your head. Use a memory trick, like thinking about you from head to toe to remember all your snow gear, or thinking about your class schedule to remember your homework assignments

6.  Consider the people around you, and keep your stuff from overlapping into other people’s space.

7.  Keep similar things together.  Like all your soccer equipment in one bag, specifically for that sport.

8.  Store stuff where you need it.  Like the stuff that is to go home in your locker or backpack instead of in your desk.

9.  Designate a spot for the really important stuff and make sure those important things always make it back to that spot.  Always put your house keys or cell phone in the same inside pocket of your back pack, so you can find them when you need them.

10. Keep the stuff you use all the time close at hand.  Like pens and pencils and other small items at the front of your desk, so you can see them and grab them quickly.

So, print these up and present them to your student.  Sit down and discuss with them which suggestions you both feel they have already mastered, and then pick one more to try this week.  Help your student establish organizing habits for success in school and in life!

6 Lessons I Re-Learned This Week.

Over the weekend, I spent some quiet travel time on a time management consultation on …..me!

You see, I went back to high school last week.  I’m not wearing the uniform or walking the halls, which is good since it’s an all-boy’s school, but let me tell you, I am still getting an education!  My son started high school, and I am learning to navigate it as a parent.  I re-learned some life lessons this week.  We don’t always have to learn new lessons, often we need to be reminded of what we already know.  To help you conquer time management challenges at work or at home, let me share what I re-learned this week:

Ask “What are we trying to achieve with improved Time Management?”

     In our case, encouraging independence and responsibility, but also balance and stress reduction for my awesome over-achieving son (though I think I was more stressed than he was).  Let the answer to that question guide the rest of your actions.

Pare down your schedule to just essentials.  

Let me ask you:  If your schedule is insane, what habits are you willing to leave behind, to make room for the important essentials?  Less TV, shopping, Angry Birds or Where’s My Water, Facebook and surfing the web, etc?
For the teenager, TV, hanging out and reading for pleasure late into the night may just have to wait.

Get sleep and good nutrition.

This is critical to all of us, not just teenagers.  Going to bed at a regular time, and making sure your body is fueled with good food empowers us to do more with better focus.

Have the Right Stuff, and Only the right stuff.

My question to you – what do you need to get out of the way, out of your office or home to simplify your life?
Organize your stuff to streamline your time management.  My guy still stumbles over getting dressed and out the door in proper uniform.  This evening, we (he doesn’t know this yet!) are going to clean off his dresser top except for the stuff he is currently and actively using.  We all need to get back in the habit of packing sports and band bags the night before, too, to decrease the last minute scramble.

Ask for help. 

Regardless of what challenge you have, remember you are not alone, and you don’t always have to be the expert.  I need to re-learn this lesson every week because I am terrible at asking for help, and therefore get overwhelmed when faced with a task I don’t know how to complete.  I know I am capable and smart enough to learn, but it feels like it may take FOREVER to get it done.
High school introduced many new, unfamiliar high-tech tools like on-line homework, text books, bulletin boards, etc., and they all required some set up.  My good and tech-savvy husband, the expert in this case, and the teenager spent most of an afternoon getting everything set up all at once, so now we’re good to go.  We just needed to ask the expert.
What is your challenge, and who can be your expert?

Communicate, communicate, communicate.

For the sake of time management, if you need to get something done and someone else is involved in the process, you have to communicate well to get things done.  We’ve had a couple of communication snafus over the last 10 days.  I had a piece of paper he needed, he forgot to tell us about a team event parents were expected to attend, etc.
I was reminded in an article this morning that good leaders use multiple means of communication, all the tools available, really, to get their message across.  So, if you want to increase communications with an individual or group to get things done effectively, find methods they already like and use.
In my son’s case, those methods are texting and using his student planner.  I suggested that my son text me as he remembers something I need to know, or jot it down in his planner if it’s during school hours.  And I admitted to him that I have to write stuff down all the time because I just don’t remember stuff unless I write it down.

  Learn from my experience!  And tell me, what lessons do you find yourself re-learning?  Please share, I would like to know!  You could be in my next blog?

An Organized Work Space for Student Success

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Got students going back to school?  The most important organizing rule for students is to be able to find what they need when they need it (from NAPO In the Schools), whether it’s their backpack or a box of crayons, a scientific calculator or laptop.  That’s why students need a dedicated space for doing homework.  And setting up a workspace at home reinforces to you and your student that learning is important.  We all just want the best for our students.

My friend Lisa asked “how do we make everything accessible to the kids at their workstation? We have half of my dining room available for the boys to use and we want to make it functional and of course, organized” (the question about study habits will wait for another day!  Today is for setting up your student space).

When you are determining the best place for your student to study, ask for their input, so that your solution is one you all can live with.  Think about:

  • Have one specific place for unpacking homework, leaving fewer places to lose things.  We store backpacks by the back door, but unpack them where we work.  All completed work goes back in the bag!
  • Whether the workspace is in a home office, a bedroom or at the kitchen table, remember the basics: comfortable seat and temperature; well-lit; room to spread out; well-stocked with supplies; quiet, or with quiet music on earphones, preferably instrumental.
  • Consistency:  Use the same place every day, and try to use the same times, too.
  • Family logistics:  are little hands (younger siblings) in the way?  Is it noisy or disruptive?
  • Portability:  Does your student stay at more than one home, or do homework in the car while commuting?
  • How much guidance / interaction does your student require with his homework?  If it is a lot, the homework place needs to be closer to you.
  • Learning styles:
    • Recognize there are 3 different learning styles:  visual, auditory and kinesthetic.  Some people (kids and adults alike) learn best by seeing, some by hearing and / or speaking, and some by doing.
    • Recognize we all have one strongest style, but we are a mix of the three.  Therefore, having options for different locations or postures to get through study blocks is a great idea.  So the next time I am tempted to tell my 8-year old to “sit down and do (his) homework”, maybe he would do it better standing up or walking around!  Or, when my middle son is listening to music on his IPod, it just might be helping him concentrate.  The oldest son loved the look of a standing work station online the other day.  He’s also likes to do his homework at the dining room table, but reads sitting up at the foot of his bed.  Variety works.basket
  • Stock with the right stuff:
    • Supplies:  My favorite suggestion for supplies is the homework basket.  Our basket contains pencils and pens, erasers, markers and crayons, 3×5 cards, flash cards, glue, scissors and a ruler.  The basket sits on the kitchen desk when it is not time to do homework (it’s attractive enough to sit on the counter, and not very big), and then we move it to the dining room table (or wherever your student works) after school.
    • On the kitchen desk, there is also a stash of loose leaf paper and a couple of empty folders, for just in case.
    • Computer / internet safety:  Computers in well-monitored family space and not in bedrooms.
    • If you are like us, and use your dining table for homework, have your students spread out on a poster board, and pick up all the work at once and move it to another flat surface when it comes time to eat dinner.
  • For us, homework is done at the dining room table, though you can establish your study space wherever you have space.  I have been strategizing about expanding our study spaces this year, since one son heads to high school and one to junior high.  Both will be spending more time studying, and will need more computer and internet access, too.  We have three computers, but the challenge will be keeping the computers available to the students (as I sit working on my computer at 5:20 on a Monday in my work space!).

If you have a student returning to school, or would just like better workspace for yourself, give some thought this week about establishing good work spaces in your home.  Make sure everyone can find What They Need When They Need It.  We all just want the best for our students!

Wash, Fold, Dry, Repeat. Again and Again…

I love clean laundry.  The sight, the smell, the feel.  Note, I said “I love clean laundry” and not “I love doing laundry”.  But where there are children, there is laundry.  I do a lot, and I bet you do, too.  Here are some ways to make the process go smoothly!

  1. Start with the basics nearby:  clean flat space for folding, hangers and a hanging rod, lot of clean empty baskets, bins for donations or items for repair / dry cleaning.
  2. Enlist aid:  A reader commented that she liked the break down last week by ages on the Kids and Money blog, so let’s try it again with laundry:
  • 2-4 year olds can: Place dirty clothes in the hamper; Select clothes from choices, and put on loose-fitting clothes; Pick out simple outfits (4 years) like shorts, shirt and underwear.
  • 4-5 year olds can: Sort laundry by color; Help put clean clothes away in drawers or on shelves;
  • 6-7 year olds can: Sort clean laundry and socks by person; Drag dirty hamper to laundry room
  • 8-10 year olds can: Fold Laundry; Strip and make bed; Load washer and dryer; Bring clean clothes to room and put them away
  • 11 and above can do all laundry duties, as instructed.

3.  Abandon perfectionism (in some areas):

  • Realize laundry is a process, not an event.  There is no start, nor finish, it just is.  So go do some.
  • Don’t fold more than necessary:  with my first child, I carefully folded every baby item and gently stacked it in its place.  By child #3, I realized that sleepers can be laid flat in a drawer and retrieved just as easily.  Same went for burp clothes, onesies, outfits and washcloths.  My kids’ underwear is still un-folded, stacked flat in their drawer.

4.  But get a little more detailed (in other areas):

  • Keep a stain stick in your hamper, and treat stains right away.
  • Set a timer.  I admit, I often forget I have a load running.  To stay on task, I set and re-set the timer for 30 minutes to remind me to check on the washing machine or dryer.
  • Hang up your hanging clothes immediately upon removing from the dryer.  This eliminates folding time and some wrinkles!
  • Color-code your laundry baskets and hangers by person or destination.  Each of us has a plastic hanger color (green, dark blue, light blue and white), and school or work clothes get hung up on those hangers as soon as clothes leave the dryer.  Then we grab the right hangers by color, and haul our clothes to our closet.
  • Consider the laundry’s end-user, and put outfits together on one hanger for those who need them (like my youngest).

5.  Keep the laundry in the laundry room, if possible.  When my babies were little, I would fold clean laundry wherever they were, and it often stayed there for a long time…. Now I fold everything in the laundry room, and avoid piles found in random places!

6.  Finishing the job means actually putting everything AWAY.

7.  Too much or not enough?

  • You probably have too many clothes.  Helping a client many years ago, I assumed the pile of unfolded teenager t-shirts was on a table.  She admitted the pile was actually THAT tall, with no table underneath.  We purged and donated dozens of t-shirts that day!  If there is not enough room to put all of your clothes away, you have too many.  But…
  • Buy extras of important and regularly worn items like (the right color!)  soccer socks or uniform shirts.  An excellent investment.  Also, buy extras of essentials that need washed after every wearing, like underwear and socks.
  • Purge Regularly.  Keep baskets in the laundry room for Dry Cleaning, or Donations or outgrown clothes. Once the bin is full of “too-smalls”, it gets labeled and put in storage to wait for the next child to grow into, or sent to our little cousin.

I hope you have found an idea or 2 that will help you in your personal pursuit  of clean laundry.  Me, I’ve got to go and fold some towels…

Money and Life Lessons for You and Your Kids

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Do your children, big and small, understand money?  Do you?!?  Learning to organize, understand and manage money is a necessary part of growing up, but there is no guarantee your children will learn about budgeting, bill paying, net income or the value of a dollar in school.  Like all life skills, the sooner we start teaching about money skills, the better our children will learn the lessons.

What Lessons Do We Want To Teach Our Children About Money?

  1. Very young children:
    1. Set up a savings account in their name
    2. Understanding that we exchange money for goods and services
    3. What money looks like
  2. Young school age children:
    1. Value of a dollar – what goes into earning a dollar, and what it can buy
    2. Money is finite, and Money spent on one thing can’t be spent on something else
  3. School age children:
    1. A healthy understanding of your financial views
    2. Value of work
    3. Appreciation for money spent
    4. Budgeting
    5. How advertising works
    6. Charitable Giving and Savings
  4. High School age children (list is endless, but includes):
    1. Household budgets and salaries
    2. Costs of higher education
    3. Benefits and pitfalls of credit, and Establishing a good credit score
    4. Investments, interest and the stock market

How Do We Teach Money Lessons to Our Children?

  1. Let them handle money.  Give them money of their own, and let them earn more money by their own hand.  Our boys earn a set allowance (the dollar equivalent of their age every 2 weeks) for regular chores, and can earn more for extra projects.  I know there are lots of differing views on children’s allowances or salaries, I am just presenting ours.
  2. Lead by example.  Start with a trip to the grocery store.  Have the kids review the weekly store flyers with you, and make your weekly menu or shopping list.  Show your children how you compare prices and quality on your favorite products.  Discuss brands and advertising.  Use coupons and sales to save money.
  3. Limit today’s lessons to those you think your kids are ready to learn.  Use small words and real world examples.  My 7-year-old won’t grasp tax rates and returns on investment, but he understands the exchange of money for goods and services.  He also knows that if he wants that new game, he needs to save his allowance for a month or 2, do extra chores or ask for it for his birthday.
  4. But, Don’t dumb it down.  My 14-year-old sat with my husband the last time he paid bills, to better understand our family finances.  Involve your kids in financial conversations.  They don’t need to know the details of your finances, but they can certainly listen as you discuss major projects, budgets, opportunity costs, comparison shopping, etc.
  5. Teach gratitude and giving.  My family is blessed with all that we need, and often everything that we want.  In our family, we encourage charitable giving of money and belongings from a very early age.  The kids donate books and toys and clothes to charities, and help us with service projects for those less fortunate.  Helping your children recognize how blessed they are with what they already have can help to counteract the “wants” list, and curb spending.

Your children’s money education starts with you. For more information on these topics, check out these resources:

And because I always get asked, I have a list of age appropriate tasks that I distribute at my “An Organized Family” class.  Here it is….

Age Appropriate Tasks & Chores
Adapted from “My Happy Little Helper”, Parents Magazine 10/03

Ages 2-3

  • Comb and brush hair
  • Get clean diaper and wipes
  • Wash and dry hands
  • Lather and rinse body (3)
  • Select clothes from choices
  • Put on loose-fitting clothes
  • Put on coat (no zipping)
  • Brush teeth, with supervision
  • Bring silverware to table
  • Wipe up spills
  • Pick up and put away toys
  • Put dirty clothes in hamper
  • Take own plastic dishes to sink

Ages 4-5

  • Pour from plastic pitcher
  • Put on shoes (tie laces 5-6)
  • Straighten bed
  • Empty wastebaskets
  • Dust furniture
  • Wipe kitchen table
  • Feed pet
  • Clear table
  • Help unpack groceries
  • Sort laundry by color
  • Help put clean clothes away in drawers or on shelves
  • Swiffer wet, anyone?

Ages 6-7

  • Sweep into a dustpan
  • Set table
  • Help wash car
  • Put groceries away
  • Help shovel snow or rake leaves
  • Remove dishes from dishwasher
  • Sort silverware into drawer
  • Run shower or bath (age 7)
  • Water garden or houseplants

Ages 8-10

  • Fold Laundry
  • Strip and make bed
  • Load and run dishwasher
  • Put clean dishes away
  • Help care for younger siblings
  • Vacuum, sweep and mop
  • Brush and floss teeth un-assisted
  • Load washer and dryer
  • Take out trash
  • Weed the garden

Beat The End-Of-Vacation Blues

Image       We got home yesterday from camp.  Two sons were gone for two weeks, and one son and I were gone for one week.   For the month leading up to camp we plan and dream and get excited, and we have a really great time while we’re there.  So we’re sad when it is over, and that sadness is compounded by the realities of ending a vacation; by 9 am on check-out day, I need to pack up a week’s worth of stuff and clean my little cabin in the woods, then drive 10 minutes up the road and pick up the tired, slightly smelly Boy Scouts with all their gear.  Then we drive 3 hours for home.

I’ve read blogs and tips recently for planning your vacation, but no one seems to talk about organizing the end of your trip.  So let me be the first!

Before you leave:

  1. Tidy up the house and finish all the laundry. Check out these two blogs on the topic: “Did You Remember to Pack the …..”  and “Going Away Checklist” .
  2. Leave yourself frozen meals, or restaurant gift certificates to use upon your arrival (better yet, carry the number to the pizza place and gift certificates with you and pick up dinner on your way home!).

While still on vacation:

  1. Use a laundry bag while on vacation, to keep the clean and dirty separated.
  2. Pack your stuff and luggage (and car, if you’re driving) with unpacking in mind.  Put similar items together.  Put your toiletries in one large bag, and that bag goes straight to the bathroom to be      unloaded.  Our dirty laundry was in two large bags placed right inside the door of my van, to schlep to the laundry room ASAP.

Upon Arrival Home:

  1. Unload the car all the way.  Yes, all the way.  Dirty laundry, apple cores and fast food wrappers really stink after a day.  And it’s easier to get back into the swing of things when stuff is where it belongs.
  2. Start the first of many loads of laundry. My hubby is the coolest, and has been doing laundry for the last 24 hours.

Within a day:

  1. Unpack all your bags and put your stuff way.  Living in chaos makes the end-of-vacation blues even worse.  Yes, put it all away.
  2. Clean out your luggage, vacuum it (I think we brought a pound of sand home from camp!) and let it air for a day or two.  Then store other luggage inside, and put it all away.  Yes, away.
  3. Keep your travel toiletry bag in your bathroom or linen closet, to collect samples and items for next time.

A day or two after:

  1. If you are gone for more than a week, give yourself an extra day at the end of your trip for catching up, doing laundry and generally easing back into real life.  If there is a time difference between home and your vacation destination, expect a day or two to re-adjust for sleeping and bedtimes, too.
  2. Lower your standards for a couple of days, too, sticking with survival mode and the essentials, and slowly easing back into your normal pace.

Finally, make a point to print up those photos, remember your good vacation times and chat about it with loved ones.  Don’t let the end-of-vacation blues taint your good memories!

Never Be Late Again!

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Every organizing challenge we face requires time management to conquer it.  Improving time management skills creates good habits for using your time, either to add to current skills or replace old bad habits.   These four ideas will help create good time management habits and make life run more smoothly.


1. Did you know?  Americans waste 9 million hours total per day searching for misplaced items, according to the American Demographics Society.  That breaks down to each of us wasting an average of 55 minutes a day, roughly 12 weeks a year, looking for things we know we own but can’t find, according to a Boston Marketing firm (statistics from the NAPO.net website).


To Never Be Late Again, stop wasting time searching for stuff!  Establish a home for the important items that you CAN NOT leave home without, like cell phone or car keys, and commit to keeping them there while at home and at work. Invest in a bowl, make it pretty if you’d like, make it the same at home and on your desk, if  that helps you, and make it a habit to put your important items there every time you arrive home or to the office.  This will speed the leaving process and eliminate hours of searching.


2. Prepare to leave again as soon as you arrive home.  I re-load my briefcase with supplies at the end of every day when I am more likely to remember what I need, instead of waiting until tomorrow.  This idea works for personal lives, too – for example, we used to re-pack the diaper bag for the sitter as soon as we got home from work.   Create a check list, like “6 clean diapers, lots of wipes, 2 or 3 clean outfits, etc.”


Consider ambulance drivers and fire fighters.  They clean up and reload their rig after every call. Life is not an emergency, but it’s easier to be flexible when we know we’re prepared.


3. My next suggestion is what I call “next step-ping”.  I work through this process with clients –  today, look at tomorrow’s schedule and plan ahead now instead of reacting tomorrow.   Perhaps on tomorrow’s schedule I see a PTA meeting, a tennis lesson, then 2 clients back to back.  So tonight I leave my PTA notebook, my tennis bag and clean clothes and my briefcase by the back door to make tomorrow morning better.


I do this with my kids, too.  We look at today, starting with Now! and move forward: Eat breakfast, get bags to back door, review assignments, make sure lunch is in backpack, consider after-school extracurriculars, take something out of the freezer for dinner, etc.  We might even think about tomorrow, to avoid last-minute emergencies.


4. Finally, to Never Be Late Again, we need to understand and embrace the difference between Load Time and Leave Time (Confessions of a Tardy Mom, Parenting 2009).  Sometimes our time management issues are our own, and sometimes they are created by others, but most often they are both.  Over the weekend, I was talking to a professor friend.  I was pondering this presentation, and we chatted about time management.  She admitted she’s late to her own classes because she can’t make it down the hallway without being stopped.  So, other people interrupt her, which is their issue, but she allows the interruption to make her late, which is her issue.

     Let’s say a meeting is set for 10 am and is 5 minutes away.  In a perfect world, we could leave at 9:55 and arrive on time, but – alas – we do not live in a perfect world.  Load Time is rarely Leave Time.

     To Never Be Late Again, we have to start factoring in that extra 5 minute cushion to respect our time and the time of everyone else around us.  Personally, I need to realize one child will always have to run back in the house for something before we head to school.  Professionally, we have to realize that if the meeting starts at 10, we really need to arrive by 9:50 to network and prepare, instead of arriving at 10 and interrupting everyone else.

     Using my friend’s story as an example, if you, too, have a difficult time getting to a meeting on time, set the alarm clock on your cell phone to chime warnings at 10 minutes, 5 minutes and 2 minutes to class time, providing a way to break out of unsolicited conversations in the hallway.

             I can’t guarantee that you will Never Be Late Again, but trying one or more of these ideas will certainly help!  Give them a try, and let me know what you tried and what worked for you!

What Would Make This A Great Week?

Last Monday, my friend Karl posted on Facebook:  “I am going to do everything possible to make this a great week.”  He doesn’t know how much his statement resonated with me.  Reading the post as a week began really got me thinking.  Hmmmm…., what would a great week look like?  I will:

1.  Give the “best of me” to my family.

  • There is a line from a favorite song:  “Those closest to your heart / so rarely get the best of you.”  We put on our public face for work and friends, and then give our crabbiest selves to our loved ones, because we feel comfortable with them, and secure in the fact that they will love us anyway. But don’t they deserve better? Of course. This week:
  • There is more tickling, hugging, music and gratitude.
  • I have been editing myself a lot, taking a breath before acting.  I composed a note to my older (12 and 14) sons the other day, outlining house tasks to complete.  Because I was very frustrated with the recent lack of cooperation, the dictation in my head was littered with cranky language.  Luckily, I edit.  A lot.  I switched to writing the note on the computer to save my hand, and left them a polite and concise list of expectations for their day (and I even told them why things needed done, so they could see how “putting away laundry” should come before “pack for the weekend” because then they can find their favorites easier).  It took longer, but it was better.
  • I am communicating more with the teenager, as to why we make the decisions we make.

2.  Take good care of me.

  • I take care of others, but I don’t always take care of Me.  This week, I made a greater effort to take my vitamins and get enough sleep.
  • I made appointments with the allergist, the acupuncturist, and for a massage.
  • I’m still working on the daily exercise, but managed at least basic push-ups and sit-ups most mornings.

3.  Take Care of Business, personal and professional.

  • I completed some unfinished business, and permanently eliminated some items on the to-do list, either by completing them or eliminating the expectation.
  • I practiced some tough love in my business, and had a couple of difficult client conversations.  I’ve been dreading these conversations, and the worry was really draining on my mental energy.  The conversations went fine, of course, I should have acted weeks ago.

4.  and Be On Time.

  • As summer began, it felt like we were late to everything.  Just a few minutes, and no one noticed       (much), but it made me cranky.  Transitions are always tough and we had our new summer       schedule.  And I am balancing my sons’ desire to stay up later and sleep in (a joy of summer for my boys) with my need to get things done and get to work.  So we got back on track:
  • I synchronized all the clocks (and shhh….. set them 2 minutes ahead, just 2 minutes), then asked the boys to set their watches.
  • I enlisted and embraced aid – Sports Camp Car Pool, you say?  I’m in!  Thanks, ladies!
  • The older boys are using more pedal power.  We tuned up the bikes, discussed the best and safest way to their various destinations, and they like the feeling of independence so they have been leaving earlier to get to their activities.  Win-win!!

So my challenge to you this week is to determine for you and your family what would make this a “great week”, and make a couple of small changes to make life better.  And please, share with me what would make a “Great Week” for you!

Legos and Books and Star Wars, oh my! Organizing with Kids

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I organize with my kids regularly, probably more often than they would like.  I remind them that most people have to pay for my services and that they’re lucky I nag / torture / organize them for free, but I doubt they consider themselves lucky.

Image     I do enjoy brief shining moments after organizing when they say “wow, mom, it is more fun to play with my xxx when all the pieces are together”.  I worked with a young client (he is 9) last week, and was reminded of 8 tips for organizing with children (and adults, too!!):

  1. Let them use THEIR words.  Ask your kids to verbalize the benefits of organizing.  If they can’t come up with any, brainstorm together about why they need to organize: it’s more fun to play with toys when all the parts are together, make room for something new, sell stuff to buy more, make room for a sleepover with friends, etc.  Also, use THEIR words for making container labels (and label makers are really cool).
  2. Make it fun:  Play music, use a timer, make organizing a race or game.  Try “Let’s see if we can get through this pile before the timer goes off”, or “Let’s pretend we’re packing for a trip and find the 10 things you want to take” or “imagine your friend is coming over and wants to play Transformers, let’s collect all your Transformers”.
  3. Break big work into smaller pieces: Large projects may need to be broken into smaller chunks, depending on your child’s age and attention.  I can give my 14 year-old a task and a time frame, and leave him to do it.  The 7 year-old requires shorter projects and more assistance.  Let’s say the project is Organize Your Bedroom.  The smaller pieces may be an hour a day: Monday – organize book shelves, Tuesday – dresser drawers, Wednesday – closet, Thursday and Friday – toys and toy box.  By the end of the week, you’ve maintained focus, you and your child are still speaking to each other and the bedroom is organized.
  4. Take Breaks and Schedule your Stop-Time:  When organizing, we all need short breaks (but not too many) to grab a beverage, stretch and regain focus.  And scheduling an Stop-Time gives us all a light at the end of the organizing tunnel, and keeps the kids from losing focus or feeling resentful.       Stick to the Stop-Time even if the project is not done, and come back to it tomorrow.
  5. Law of Diminishing Returns: Decision-making starts slowly, builds in speed, then slows again.  When we start organizing, we move slowly as we define our categories and their containers (like legos, pokemon cards, hex bugs, or books in different piles).  Once we establish categories and containers, we gather speed and make progress.  Then, after the important and easy sorting is done, we are left with a pile of less important, less defined items, and decision-making slows down again.  Don’t get hung up on the un-important stuff.   When you get to that final scruffy pile, put it in a paper bag with today’s date on it, and set it in the closet.  Agree that if your child doesn’t go into the bag looking for something specific within a week or two, you’ll toss it.
  6. Recognize the different ways to sort:  When we started to lose focus the other day, we switched from “pulling out one item at a time and deciding where it belongs” to “look at the pile, and pull out all the books or legos or light bright pegs”.  Both ways are correct, and shifting gears helped us re-focus.
  7. Embrace AWAY:  Make sure the last 10 minutes of your organizing session are spent putting things AWAY.  That is one of the most important parts of organizing with kids, and one that we often do for thm, gloss over, or don’t complete.  AWAY is a wonderful word, an important idea, and kids need to know that AWAY is the end goal.
  8. Make it worth their while.  I don’t pay my kids to organize or complete everyday tasks like cleaning their room or cleaning up after meals.  However… I mentioned to a client that my boys were working on organizing projects while I was working with her, and she asked “What’s the pay-off?”  And      apparently Mom’s Happiness was not what she was suggesting.  So, call it positive reinforcement, and if there happens to be a bowl of ice cream or trip to the local park as a reward for an organizing project done well, maybe the kids will even suggest the next organizing project (a mom can dream, right?!).

Pick a project or two to tackle with your kids, and keep these 8 tips in mind!