Category: Time Management

Step Outside Your Head: Stop Wondering, Wallowing and Worrying!

Have you ever noticed?  Some days, we can be energized and powerful in the face of daunting circumstances, and other times be overwhelmed by the tiniest set-back.  Our state of mind rules our reactions.

I am not a mental-health professional!  I am writing this from a time management perspective – negative ways of thinking are terrible time wasters.   Wallowing, Wondering and Worry waste time and energy with little gain.  I’ll let you do a little bit of each, then it’s time to move on.

I spend a lot of time inside my own head.  I laughingly tell people I have a rich inner life, to match my rich outer life!  What I am really saying is that I’m always thinking, and usually over-thinking.  Luckily, I am also always acting, and moving forward, and I ask you to find ways to do the same, regardless of your state of mind!  Here’s how:

Wondering:

I like to know how things work, where roads go, what makes people tick.  Some folks wonder about things, though, and never take that wondering any further than their own mind.  No resolution, wasting vital time and energy in wondering instead of discovering.  I wonder… what happened to that old high school friend; if I should set up an LLC or a corporation; if I’m just tired or if there is something bigger wrong… I wonder….

So, I wonder… what to do about wondering.  Some wondering is great, that’s where great ideas come from.  But we can wonder for ages without ever trying to solve the puzzle.  GO!  and look for the answers.  Be adventurous, ask the experts, search the internet, phone a friend.  You know smart people, ask them!  My boys and I are self guided learners, we look up topics on the internet all the time.  There’s also a dictionary, pocket thesaurus and small encyclopedia in the kitchen desk, to look up the big words I like to toss around.  It’s a great practice.

I have been wondering about how to re-word my professional bio for a new website.  I wonder how other people perceive me and my business… then I realized a number of you have sent me testimonials about my business (asked experts and phoned a friend), so I am going to read those to form my new bio.  Thanks for being my experts!

Wallowing:

We humans feel things strongly and can feel very sad and upset about things.  What you feel is real, and I respect you and your feelings.  But as in all things, there must be limits.

Son #2 feels things very strongly and was recently wallowing after some long-distance friends left.  But as his mom, I let him wallow for a while (we all need to), and then I helped him cope by turning the sadness to something good, thinking about positive ways to keep in touch with the long-distance friends (email, videos on his new camera, texting when he gets his cell phone next month, etc.).  We moved past wallowing by creating hope.

Set a timer, go ahead and wallow, then write down your sadness.  Read it out loud, then turn the page, and write down 3 actions you can take to make it better.  Then go do one.  Make a conscious decision to make the sad things better.  And yes, you can make things better.

Worrying:

How does the saying go?  “95% of what we worry about never comes to pass” or something like that?  We spend so much time and energy needlessly worrying, time and energy we could use to actually work on the problems instead.  I am a pro at worrying, but I also know when to act.  The answers for how to not get stuck Worrying are the same as for wallowing and wondering.

Ask for help.  Ask the experts.  Pray (God is the ultimate expert!!).  And put limits on your Worrying.  One suggestion is to sit down, set a timer and actually worry for a set amount of time, like 20 or 30 minutes about whatever is bothering you.  If that works for you, great.  I prefer less time sitting and more time planning and acting.  So, again, set a timer, write it down, write down three actions to take to make it better and do one right now.  My dad used to say “Do something, even if it’s wrong”, and I now recognize the wisdom in the statement.  These negative mind sets lock us in our own heads, and we require a change, a movement, an action of some type to break free.

So, if you are stuck in your head this week wondering, wallowing or worrying, take a break, step outside your head, talk to people and take action.  Do SOMETHING!

Never Be Late Again!

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Every organizing challenge we face requires time management to conquer it.  Improving time management skills creates good habits for using your time, either to add to current skills or replace old bad habits.   These four ideas will help create good time management habits and make life run more smoothly.


1. Did you know?  Americans waste 9 million hours total per day searching for misplaced items, according to the American Demographics Society.  That breaks down to each of us wasting an average of 55 minutes a day, roughly 12 weeks a year, looking for things we know we own but can’t find, according to a Boston Marketing firm (statistics from the NAPO.net website).


To Never Be Late Again, stop wasting time searching for stuff!  Establish a home for the important items that you CAN NOT leave home without, like cell phone or car keys, and commit to keeping them there while at home and at work. Invest in a bowl, make it pretty if you’d like, make it the same at home and on your desk, if  that helps you, and make it a habit to put your important items there every time you arrive home or to the office.  This will speed the leaving process and eliminate hours of searching.


2. Prepare to leave again as soon as you arrive home.  I re-load my briefcase with supplies at the end of every day when I am more likely to remember what I need, instead of waiting until tomorrow.  This idea works for personal lives, too – for example, we used to re-pack the diaper bag for the sitter as soon as we got home from work.   Create a check list, like “6 clean diapers, lots of wipes, 2 or 3 clean outfits, etc.”


Consider ambulance drivers and fire fighters.  They clean up and reload their rig after every call. Life is not an emergency, but it’s easier to be flexible when we know we’re prepared.


3. My next suggestion is what I call “next step-ping”.  I work through this process with clients –  today, look at tomorrow’s schedule and plan ahead now instead of reacting tomorrow.   Perhaps on tomorrow’s schedule I see a PTA meeting, a tennis lesson, then 2 clients back to back.  So tonight I leave my PTA notebook, my tennis bag and clean clothes and my briefcase by the back door to make tomorrow morning better.


I do this with my kids, too.  We look at today, starting with Now! and move forward: Eat breakfast, get bags to back door, review assignments, make sure lunch is in backpack, consider after-school extracurriculars, take something out of the freezer for dinner, etc.  We might even think about tomorrow, to avoid last-minute emergencies.


4. Finally, to Never Be Late Again, we need to understand and embrace the difference between Load Time and Leave Time (Confessions of a Tardy Mom, Parenting 2009).  Sometimes our time management issues are our own, and sometimes they are created by others, but most often they are both.  Over the weekend, I was talking to a professor friend.  I was pondering this presentation, and we chatted about time management.  She admitted she’s late to her own classes because she can’t make it down the hallway without being stopped.  So, other people interrupt her, which is their issue, but she allows the interruption to make her late, which is her issue.

     Let’s say a meeting is set for 10 am and is 5 minutes away.  In a perfect world, we could leave at 9:55 and arrive on time, but – alas – we do not live in a perfect world.  Load Time is rarely Leave Time.

     To Never Be Late Again, we have to start factoring in that extra 5 minute cushion to respect our time and the time of everyone else around us.  Personally, I need to realize one child will always have to run back in the house for something before we head to school.  Professionally, we have to realize that if the meeting starts at 10, we really need to arrive by 9:50 to network and prepare, instead of arriving at 10 and interrupting everyone else.

     Using my friend’s story as an example, if you, too, have a difficult time getting to a meeting on time, set the alarm clock on your cell phone to chime warnings at 10 minutes, 5 minutes and 2 minutes to class time, providing a way to break out of unsolicited conversations in the hallway.

             I can’t guarantee that you will Never Be Late Again, but trying one or more of these ideas will certainly help!  Give them a try, and let me know what you tried and what worked for you!

Two New Ways to Improve Your Morning!

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It is so easy to get off track during the summer months.  Without the structure of school days, we may forget to eat a healthy breakfast at a regular time, abandon basic personal hygiene (for teenagers!) and generally take way too long to get out the door, leaving much undone.

Here are two tools to help your mornings flow more smoothly:  The “Morning Line-Up” and “Back to Ready”.

We use The Morning Line-Up every day:

  1. Start out with a clear bathroom counter.
  2. Take out all the items you need to get ready; we’ll call these the Usual Suspects in Your Morning Line-Up.  Every day, lay all the Usual Suspects on your empty counter.
  3. My Usual Suspects include Antiperspirant, Face Lotion with SPF 30, toothpaste and brush, hair products, contacts and solution, lip stain and powder, etc.
  4. Next to these are my kids’ deodorants, toothbrushes and pastes, a comb and fingernail clippers (someone always needs those).
  5. Now, as we use the item in our Morning Line-Up, we put the item back in the cabinet (or drawer, or basket under the sink, which ever you prefer).
  6. You can make this even easier by dedicating one shelf / basket / etc. for just your Usual Suspects.

This idea reaps multiple benefits:

  1. At a glance, I know what I have used or not, and I don’t forget things.  And I know when I need to nag my sons to finish.
  2. We can add new habits to the line-up, if there is something we want to improve upon.  For example, I added my contacts and solution to my Line-Up when I decided to wear them more regularly.
  3. I have a client cultivating a “Swipe and Swish” habit to tidy up the bathroom every morning.  So she adds Windex and paper towels to her counter as part of her Line-Up.
  4. The Morning Line-Up can also be used to improve other areas of your life, for example, nutrition.  When I got forgetful about my daily vitamins or supplements, I bought one of those daily medication sorters.  Now I leave it on the counter in the morning, and put it away when I am done.

The other tool I want to offer you is “Back To Ready”. 

This is a proactive, positive step to help me and my clients get a handle on our lives and our homes. “Back to Ready” means we feel ready for whatever the week throws our way.

Working from home, I find it difficult to focus on work when my home feels unfocused.  In my defense, to a casual observer my home would not look cluttered.  But I know when things are left undone, and because of who I am and what I do, I have a very low tolerance for any sense of disorganization.

So Back to Ready is very important for my success!  What does “Ready” look like?

  • Beds made;
  • Bedrooms tidied up / surfaces cleared off;
  • Clothes and shoes (oh, the shoes!) dealt with— Dirty ones in the hamper, clean ones put away;
  • Breakfast dishes in the sink or dishwasher, table wiped off;
  • Bathroom cleaned up, towels hung up, surfaces clear, mirror wiped clean;
  • Papers gathered together for me to work on them, or purge or shred them.

“Back to Ready” takes 30 minutes on a Monday morning (you pick your own day!).  It involves starting laundry and a sink of soapy dishwater, going room by room and collecting clutter, emptying trash and vacuuming.  I start it before the kids go to school, so they can tidy up their rooms and put away whatever clean laundry they may have.   And we pick Mondays because we are very hard on our home on the weekends!

Pick one spot to start, and start there every week.  You can choose the easiest room first (my youngest son’s), or the most public room first (the entry way and living room), or the hardest room first (kitchen).  It’s up to you, just choose.  Now, only spend a few minutes in each room—this is not major cleaning, this is just maintenance between cleanings, and preparing for the week ahead.

Carry a notebook, too, to jot down the random ideas that come up during this particular exercise.  The ideas could read “Need laundry detergent, need snacks for baseball, bake cookies for friend, teenager needs new dress shoes,  change smoke detector batteries, etc.”

I hope these two ideas help you get yourself and your family out the door in a calm and organized manner.  Summer is a great time to try something new when it comes to morning routines, so give them a try and see what works for you.  Enjoy!