Tag: NAPO-Chicago

Get Good At Transitions: Intros & Outros

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I am going to start this article with the end in mind.

The last line is: “Get good at transitions with clear and consistent communications, a plan and focus, respect to timelines and occasional flexibility as needed.” And you will soon see why.

In addition to being an organizational coach and certified professional organizer, I am a liturgical musician. I have the supreme honor of enhancing worship with and for my community. In addition to enhancing worship, I also have the supreme honor of supporting my community in times of transitions, experiencing joys and sorrows at weddings, funerals, sacraments and holy days.

Recently, I had the true joy and privilege to sing at a wedding. The bride and groom were happy, the families were happy, the weather was perfect, there was a lovely feeling of celebration in the church. It was great. The benefit to planning for and singing for a wedding, as opposed to other sorts of liturgy, is that we have a lot of time to plan. I sat down with the bride and groom 7 months ago to review the order of the ceremony and fill in items like the readings. We also reviewed where in the ceremony there are opportunities for music, either instrumental or vocal or both, and discussed if they or their family members have specific requests and favorites. Since then, we texted, emailed and spoke, checking in again with the couple, their families and the deacon performing the ceremony.

Communication happened, everything was smooth sailing. The few hiccups that did occur were quickly managed.

Then it was the Saturday morning of the 2:30 pm Wedding. And everything was still fine, and continued to be – there is no cliff hanger here. I am not leading up to some big blow up. Everything was still sailing smoothly. But what occurred to me that day was, with months of planning for a 45 minute ceremony, that we needed to get VERY CLEAR on the 10 minutes before the ceremony began.

All the planning, all the rehearsing – and oh yes, I did rehearse – if my neighbors weren’t also singing the songs in their sleep after listening to me rehearse for the 2 weeks prior, I would be surprised. All the planning and all the rehearsing were for the ceremony itself, and we were super prepared. But success is often measured for such things as the ceremony, of course, but also how smoothly it begins and also ends.

It comes down to a few minutes, and then the moment. And… But?… And… we were ready. We had a clearly defined goal, laser focus on the goal, clear and consistent communications around the goal, and everyone did their part to prepare for the event. We were ready, AND I needed to nail those 10 minute leading up to the moment the bridal party stepped off.

It’s funny, because your perspective absolutely changes from six months out, reviewing the time line and checklists, hiring an accompanist, purchasing the sheet music, rehearsing, etc. Down to those last 600 seconds.

Shall we start playing the three minute and 47 second song at 2:24 as a prelude? But we have to make sure that the bride can hear it, because that was the one request she made to me via text the morning of the wedding. Or, as I thought about my chat that afternoon half an hour before the wedding with my friend, the mother of the bride, and how she mentioned that the only song that was specifically her choice was the song we were playing as the Mothers are seated. I had considered cutting it short (it also is 4 minutes), but she loves it, it was her only request, so guess what – yes, we played the entire song.

So, we had a goal and deadline and parameters, but the whole point of the day was to love and support the bride and groom and their families, so we made it all happen in that very short amount of time. We nailed that transition so the rest of the event could flow smoothly.

Similar thought process – soon after, my choir and I were warming up to sing at Mass and for whatever reason our Sunday morning rehearsal started late. We usually try to run through every song once in that Sunday morning rehearsal, but that day, we didn’t have as much time as we usually do. And when that happens, we focus on rehearsing the intros and outros. I don’t actually know if outro is a word, but if you talk to a musician, they know what intros and outros are. An intro is, for example, the first four measures of a song before the vocals begin. And the outro is how you plan to end the song – you vocally end with a whole note, then the instruments do another couple of measures, for example.

We know how the songs go, we aren’t worried about the middle. We just need to know we will start and end the same. Clear communications, a goal and focus, a clear plan. We need those intros and outros to be clean. If there is going to be a mistake, it is likely at those transition points and not in the middle of a verse. If we start messy, sometimes it throws us off and we miss other things in the song. And no one wants to finish rough because often, no matter how amazing the song was, people are going to remember the last 10 seconds and how you finished.

We focus on transitions, whether it is the few minutes before or after an event, or the first or last few seconds of a song, because those matter. Those are the most likely places to stumble, so we practice those even more than the rest.

This is not a music lesson, though it may sound like one. It’s a life lesson, with musical examples because I am me. Let’s look at how to apply solid intros and outros to life.

Our work or school days are predictable, for the most part. We know how to do our work and we know how to go to school. Our commute to and from work or school is relatively predictable, though sometimes we hit traffic or some other complication.

The more likely places we are to stumble in our day, the places that might stress us out or make us late, are the intros and outros, the transition for sleep to awake, from home to travel, the “leaving the house in a timely manner and well prepared” part.

Driving our car to school or work, and even doing our work isn’t where we stumble. Getting out of the house to drive, or leaving work on time to be ready for the rest of our day – that is where we stumble.

So the actual trip is no big deal, but if we don’t get our acts together, and so therefore don’t make it out the door in a timely manner and therefore we’re late for the rest of it, that is where we’re going to stumble. Right. Transitions. Transitions. Transitions are where we have the greatest opportunity and greatest incidents to stumble.

Let’s get really good at transitions.

Last week, I prepared to present at an event at a local community college. I love these events, it is great to go out and meet people! And I started my planning a few days before to make sure my transitions were solid. I made handouts ahead of time just in case my printer got cranky and I needed a Plan B. I purchased my promo materials months ago, and it’s all packed with my gear. I loaded everything into the car a day or two before, to make my day easier for the actual event. Anticipating the actual work, I had no worries about presenting or networking – those are easy. The potential transition that could slow down or mess up my day was changing out of client appointment clothes and into more snazzy presentation clothes, so I packed that bag ahead of time as well. And I knew how long the commute from my client appointment to the event should be, and allowing some cushion, I knew my hard stop time to get me where I needed to go.

Get good at transitions. We want to make sure we are as prepared as possible for those transitions. I’m never worried about my client appointments, but sometimes I’m worried about the commute, getting there, ending on time to get to my next appointment, and home again.

Let’s consider how we can practice those intros and outros even more. Keeping the analogy, when we practice intros and outros, we communicate ALOT beforehand about how we are going to start and finish, we imagine the song in our head, we set a tempo, we take a deep breath and then we begin.

“Get good at transitions with clear and consistent communications, a plan and focus, respect to timelines and occasional flexibility as needed.”

ADHD Awareness Month: Aware In Many Ways

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October is ADHD awareness month.

If you know me at all, you know that I like to play with words. And ADHD Awareness, those two words together, have multiple meanings for me.

ADHD Awareness could mean “I am aware of ADHD. I’m aware of its definition, some of the top behavioral traits that go along with ADHD in children, or in adult males or adult females”, etc.

That could be one way that we are aware of ADHD.

This first part, the “I am aware of ADHD” part, may seem unnecessary to you, but I experience ADHD resistance from people regularly. Because it is invisible, I hear that “ADHD isn’t real”, or “that person doesn’t have ADHD, that person needs better self control or to just try harder”, or, from older generations, “ADHD didn’t exist when I was a kid, so it doesn’t exist now”. Yes, it did exist, we just didn’t have a name for it. And we do have a name for it now, and we know more now, thank goodness.

We cannot deny ADHD exists, or that a person has ADHD. And in terms of awareness, unless you are a clinical psychologist, we also cannot diagnose somebody with ADHD.

I have also heard the complete other end of this spectrum, instead of ADHD doesn’t exit, I hear “Well, we all have ADHD sometimes”. Or “aren’t we all a little ADHD?”, as if that was possible. While this may seem like a more accepting stance than “ADHD doesn’t exist”, it still doesn’t yet respect the impact “Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder” can have on the folks who have it.

Disorder.

Disorder.

There are external behaviors or characteristics that we all may have that people with ADHD also exhibit. Our focus may wander, we may act impulsively, we may have high energy, we may struggle with time management. I have talked about the characteristics of ADHD in other articles and podcasts. From time to time, we all exhibit what may be characteristics of ADHD, but what determines ADHD is how long we exhibit them, how often, to what extent, how they impact our day to day functioning, and with what other behaviors and characteristics. So to respond to “we all have ADHD sometimes”, or “we’re all a little ADHD” – Yes, we all may exhibit the behaviors we expect from someone with ADHD, but how much do those negatively impact our lives? If we are neurotypical, if we do not have ADHD, for example, we are much less impacted.

The first step of awareness is to realize that ADHD exists and what it means. And the next is to find out how it shows up. “ADHD Awareness” can also mean awareness of how ADHD shows up in ourselves and others.

The current data shows that more than 11% of the child population has ADHD (per the CDC website), and that number accounts for only the diagnosed cases. Because ADHD is invisible, and because some people with ADHD can become adept at managing their ADHD on their own or masking their challenges, the actual number is definitely much higher.

So we can be aware that it exists, and we can be aware that we definitely know someone with ADHD. Using that 11% or more of the population statistic, if you know 100 people, at least 11 of them likely have an ADHD diagnosis. If you only know 10, it’s likely at least one has ADHD.

Now, here’s what’s interesting to me in what I do. I’m a certified professional organizer with specific training from Coach Approach for Organizers and the Institute for Challenging Disorganization in helping clients who have ADHD. I help them, through coaching, to find essential structures that support them in the midst of ADHD, to help them to be the best they can be.

And because of who I know and who I work with, and because people feel comfortable enough with me to share, far more than 11% of my circle has ADHD. I find that interesting but in no way negative. It’s noteworthy but not in a bad way. It exists. It exists for a lot of the people that I know, and I have ways of helping them.

A long time member of my community asked me to write more about ADHD, especially Later In Life Diagnosis. There has been a swell of ADHD diagnoses in adults over the past few years. Pre-pandemic and pre-lockdown, many people with undiagnosed ADHD got by and made things work. But the loss of external support structures and the added demands and stresses that came with our home and work lives during pandemic and lock down made many people realize there may be problems that exist that have never been addressed.

And as mentioned before, there are strategies that help all of us and also people with ADHD to get more done, be more productive, manage our responsibilities, manage our stress. I look forward to helping my clients, neuro-typical and neuro-diverse. That’s the answer for me.

In this ADHD Awareness Month, let’s gain awareness of ADHD a little more locally, then, as in “I am aware that this family member or this coworker has ADHD, and I will spend time in October exploring with them what that means for them. If I am in a supportive role for that person, how I can best support that person?”

At the conference I attended last month, we discussed a really powerful and simple tool for working with a neuro-diverse person, like someone with ADHD or that may be autistic. And truly, I think it is a great tool to use for communication with anyone. We ask – what is normal for you?

(And recall, I just talked about normalizing in a recent podcast episode!)

For example, I could say to a client or family member or co-worker,

“Some people like to listen to music while they work. Does that work for you? And if so, what would be your normal music to listen to?”

Or,

“Some people like to use timers to remind them to wrap up a project and move on to their next appointment. Sometimes that works for me. What is your typical way of transitioning from one task to the next? A timer, a visual cue, a verbal reminder from me? Do you have a typical way? What is your normal?”

Ask others “What is your normal?”

Normal movement, temperature, conversation level, work schedule and rhythm, etc.?

These are examples of organizational coaching questions, and I am a professional who works with clients with ADHD. These might feel formal to you, but perhaps you can think of some on your own to open up these topics of conversation with the people around you.

And, my friend, you are allowed to ask for these questions and solutions for yourself, too.

Using myself as an example, because I don’t have to ask permission: if you asked me what my normal is:

I like a visual calendar with blocks of color. I like a digital calendar because I can maneuver the info quickly and easily.

I don’t like being hot, it makes me feel physically ill.

I do not like to listen to music while I work, mainly because I am working with words and I find it hard to have the words I am working with conflicting with the words I am hearing. In a conversation with my husband recently about working with music on, he mentioned he likes music and it works for him because he is dealing with numbers. I appreciate that insight.

I appreciate patience from a person who interrupts me for me to catch up with what they are saying because it takes my brain a moment to switch over to them.

I don’t like to be late, it makes me really anxious.

Those are parts of my normal. What is your normal? Once you know it, can you ask for it? And can you ask others how to support their normal as well?

In this ADHD Awareness Month, let’s understand that ADHD exists, and what that means. And let us gain awareness around ADHD in the people around us and even in ourselves.

Other articles of mine on ADHD:

https://peaceofmindpo.com/2021/10/13/adhd-awareness-month-for-yourself-and-for-others/

https://peaceofmindpo.com/2023/10/23/october-is-adhd-awareness-month-more-than-just-awareness/

Getting Specific With Quarterly Planning

A client asked recently:

“I’ve been thinking about your recommendation to do quarterly planning. I’m consolidating my to-do lists and thinking about how to restructure my categories. And I like the concept of quarterly planning. If you haven’t written a blog yet about your process, I’d really like to learn the specifics of how YOU go about planning quarterly.”

I just love this. Thank you, dear client, for asking the question. You know who you are.

I wrote about quarterly planning back in January, check out the article here. I have other articles on planning, as well, if you’d like to know more, head over to PeaceofMindpo.com, click on the Blog tab and add Planning in the search bar.

I don’t always get too specific about me in my articles and podcast episodes, but this is one topic that probably should be specific! And a reminder, as in all things, I am sharing what I do as AN example, of one way of doing something. It is not a requirement or demand – EVER. Just an example, and perhaps a suggestion!

I like setting quarterly goals because, for me, setting a yearly goal sometimes seems too big or too long, and anything less than a month seems too short. Let me rephrase – I do set annual goals, but I like to break those broad goals down into more manageable pieces, and an every three month planning cycle with 6 week to three month goals works for me.

Conveniently, this client asked this question as I plan my fourth quarter of 2024, my Q4. For me personally, at least, planning in Q4 is a great illustration of the importance of quarterly planning.

Q4 starts with October and ends in December. I am in shorts and a t-shirt as I write this. My window is open, the breeze is blowing in. My birthday is at the beginning of Q4, and the next holiday on my horizon is Halloween. (note to self, put up Autumn decorations)

But, as a certified professional organizer, board of education member, planner of family functions and Catholic liturgical musician and human being, I know that the calendar for the next three months is going to fill up FAST, and the to-do list will as well! Soon and very soon (a song reference!), the focus will shift to Autumn, to Thanksgiving, to Advent and to Christmas. Just this morning at Mass, my music director mentioned that she would like to put together an Advent Concert the first week of December. And I, of course, said “Sure!”

All things seem possible when you start planning them months in advance!

Back to the original question: How do I actually quarterly plan? Let’s do this.

Grab your calendar, digital or paper.

  • Me personally, I am sitting here at my laptop as I use Google calendar, and I have my bullet journal, my phone, my to-do list and a cold beverage.

Check out what is already on your calendar for the next three months, personally and professionally.

  • For Q4, I already have many recurring events on my calendar in my many Focus areas, and I bet you do, too.
  • I have regular client appointments, meetings and coaching calls.
  • My choir has our rehearsal and Mass schedule set.
  • The Board of Education has monthly meetings and committee work on the calendar.
  • I also have non-recurring events in my calendar already like presentations, concerts, doctor appointments, etc.

Reflect on your Focus Areas:

I talked recently about Focus Areas, and we need to have them in mind as we do our quarterly planning, or any planning, for that matter. As reported, mine are my business and my different income streams, my family, my home and wellness, Board of Education work and church ministry.

What are yours? Make sure you keep them in mind as you plan!

The next step is to weave in the set plans.

And this step is why I said Q4 is a great illustration of quarterly planning.

Because, as an example, every year in Q4, we have many set plans around our holidays with our families.

I have a planning list that I pull out and activate on October 1 regarding the holidays. According to the list, in the next week, I will check in with my side of the family regarding when we want to celebrate our Christmas together. I will check in, too, with my sister-in-law for dates for my young niece and nephew’s Christmas concert for school. (Typically a Thursday evening in early December). I will check in with my college student around when he wants to come home for Thanksgiving and what day in December he will likely be done with finals and need a ride home from college. All of those tasks are already on my to-do list as I fill in those big flexible events and make sure they are on the calendar.

You may not personally be thinking December thoughts right now, but a whole lot of people are! For example, here in Chicago, in late September I received the email from a local news agency that reservations are now open for The Walnut Room, a holiday tradition for many! Yes, it is time to plan!

Work in some flexibility and grace.

I am getting better at weaving in prep time ahead of and re-entry after the big events. For example, my husband’s company throws quite the holiday event every year. And, every year, I seem to scramble to get ready and downtown in a timely manner. This year, I blocked the afternoon before the event from client appointments so I don’t have to rush. Similarly, I have my annual Illinois Association of School Boards conference mid November. It is already on my calendar for November 21-24. AND, there are a lot of other things that go into that conference, before and after. So I just blocked time the day before and the day after for some flexibility and rest.

Now, let’s talk Goal Setting. Any incomplete goals to roll forward from last quarter? Now is the time!

Check in around your Goals from the last quarter, how did they work out? If you need to roll something forward, now is the time! A reminder, way back in January when I talked about quarterly planning, I recommended that you dole out your achievements over the whole year. So you may have goals for 2024 that you haven’t completed yet, and that is ok. We can still get a lot done while also respecting the fun and festivities of the holidays – we just need to plan ahead and that is why we set quarterly goals!

Planning and Goal Setting go no further if we don’t attach the necessary actions.

As you work on your plan for your fourth quarter, plan the actions and steps associated to your quarterly goals.

I will use Thanksgiving as an example. We know Thanksgiving is Thursday, November 28. (action) My family and I will figure out the menu and who is bringing what dishes via text over the next few weeks. And then, as other examples of actions, I will start adding shelf-stable grocery items to my weekly shopping list for the foods I am assigned to bring, I will start a bag of things to take with me and I will block some time on the calendar that week for shopping / packing / prep.

What if, in addition to work and life, you are also a crafty person and want to make holiday gifts this year by hand? Commendable, and I love it. AND you have to put all of those tasks and time and actions on the calendar and to-do list NOW so you aren’t caught unprepared in a few months.

Make sure to leave time and energy for the actions attached to your Q4 plan! And put them on the calendar and to-do list now!

Honor your own season and cycles.

Be reasonable, and adjust your expectations.

Yes, Q4 is here. Fall, holidays, travel, school events, yes – I get it. AND, that means different things to different people. In transparency, my birthday is in early October. So this time of year, in addition to Q4 planning, I am always thinking big strategic planning ideas for MY next year, MY next 12 months towards my next birthday. I think in cycles like that and I find it helpful.

I love Fall. Perhaps you don’t. Perhaps you struggle with less and less daylight this time of year, and you need to factor in more rest or adjust your to-do list expectations down a bit. Honor your own season.

A final note – you may be listening to this in October of 2024, or maybe you’re listening some other time in the future. You are not late to the party. ANY day is a good day to plan. And then ACT, of course, but first plan. Let this day be whatever you need it to be, but be intentional and do your day on your terms!

Learn New Things Then Make Them Your Own

I am a member of the Institute for Challenging Disorganization, and I attended their annual conference last weekend. It was amazing, and I will share more soon.

In an activity with a fellow participant, we worked through a new time management tool that I CANNOT wait to introduce to all of you! But I digress.

The tool walks us through a project, helps us identify potential roadblocks and how to deal with them, and lets us imagine our reasons for and how we will feel when we achieve our goal and / or complete the project. For the activity to learn to use the tool, we chose a goal or project to focus on, and mine was “how to ensure I worked through my conference notes this week” And my answer to my table partner was, “Because otherwise, WHY DID I BOTHER TO GO?!”

Going to the conference was not simple. The conference was in Minnesota, a beautiful state from the little bit that I got to explore when not in sessions. It was a 7 hour drive to get Bloomington, MN right next to Minneapolis-St.Paul, and the same to get back, though that was in the dark and in the rain. (My husband is a rockstar). It required money and planning and research and packing and a million other little tasks. It required that I take time off from paying clients to instead pay money. It required that I attend a conference I have never attended, that I step into rooms where I knew no-one. It required many leaps of faith, to just jump into a situation and do my best. And it was absolutely worth it.

I visited new places and saw new things. I learned so much. So much that will help me in my business, in my work with my clients and also me personally. I hugged in-person people who I had only met in virtual programs before now, I met amazing new people and made new friends.

Similarly, I presented at a conference the week before. And, I would hope for all of those attendees that they took some time to review and internalize and revel and relish what they learned at their conference and then started to put that new knowledge into practice, too.

As part of my working through the content this week from the conference, I want to write about it and then I will do it! It’s time to process what I learned, follow up with many people and incorporate what I learned into my real life. Because, again, otherwise, WHY DID I BOTHER TO GO?!

If you, too, have the opportunity to learn new things, here are some things to think about!

Be open to learning because there are always things to learn.

First, can we just appreciate how awesome it is to have the opportunity to learn new things? There is always more to learn, either expanding on things we already know or learning new topics and ideas entirely.

When we get back from learning, Unpack, and I mean physically unpack.

I have worked with dozens of clients who have bags still packed with logos on them from conferences or workshops they attended 1 and 5 and 20 years ago. In addition to the knowledge learned going no further than that bag on a shelf or under the desk, logistically speaking – what about the half-eaten granola bar or dirty tissues – ew!

Please, unpack your bag and delete or recycle the easy and the obvious. When it comes to storage, bags are almost never our friends. Liberate the stuff and the learning, bring it back to the daylight!

As an aside, when you attend a conference with other professional organizers, some of us admit to emptying the swag bag immediately, getting rid of what we don’t want and sharing it the next day with fellow participants, and clearing out the excess before we even pack to go home!

Also as an aside, at a conference for professional organizers, programs start on time and sometimes even early!

Next, and very importantly: Act on the new knowledge while it is still fresh!

One of my accountability partners asked a great question the last time we spoke. She asked if I had a plan, or what was my plan, to work through all of my notes and follow-up from conference.

I want to review my notes this week because I can easily recall exactly what I was feeling and thinking when I heard the content. I can remember what time of day it was, I can remember who was sitting at my table with me. Reviewing the content just a few days out means that as I reflect on the content, I can fill in my note with even more ideas, I can recall thoughts I had then that I might not have had time to capture at that moment, I can start to move the knowledge from short term memory into long term memory, and I can make plans for changing my behaviors around what I learned.

If I waited weeks or months or years, that reflection piece would take me nowhere fast. And I would miss the opportunity to make the knowledge my own and incorporate it into my own best practices.

Relatedly, as I review my notes, if I want to reach out to someone I spoke with, they will also be more likely to remember me now than in a few weeks or months from now.

In addition to knowledge becoming un-refreshable to us, remember that Knowledge Expires. If you have a backlog of content or binders or books from long ago professional development, please consider that Knowledge Expires. Yes, knowledge expires.

Here’s an example: Years ago, a friend said how proud they were of the medical journals on the shelf above their desk. They liked to see the journals, the journals felt like visual proof of how good a doctor this friend is. And this friend is a good doctor. AND, I reminded them that I would not want to see a 20 year old medical journal above my doctor’s desk, I would rather see recent certificates and updates and achievements. Because, in some industries, like the medical profession, some knowledge expires.

I would not want to see reference books for outdated software on my IT department’s shelf. I do not want to see educational theory books from the 1950’s on a teacher’s shelf.

Looking ahead, Make A Plan for Yourself to Learn New Things

As I reflected on presenting at a conference and then, a week later, attending a conference, I am reminded that, as I stated earlier, there is always more to learn. My suggestion to you and to myself is to come up with our own education plans.

Once we are out of the academic environment, it would be easy to stop learning. But in the first line of my content for my recent presentation, I stated that “If we aren’t growing, we’re either standing still or we’re wilting and withering”. Those are our options.

We can choose to grow, we can stand still or we can wilt and wither. Of course there are some days I am not striving and growing and reading and pursuing. But those days of rest are part of the plan, too. An educational plan guides our steps.

I don’t know what that educational plan looks like for you. I don’t know what lights you up or what you’re interested in. But maybe you know.

There’s so much information available to us these days. There has never, never in the history of the world, been so much information and so readily at our fingertips. Never before. Of course, we need to make sure we are critical thinkers and are consuming actual knowledge from trusted sources.

But there’s so much out there to learn and know about. So much. And it’s all available to us.

For me, personally, I am going to work through my notes from my conference. I am also going to review my non-fiction “reading pile”. I put that in quotations because while I call it my reading pile, it is not a pile. It is a part of a shelf full of books I own but have not read yet, and also a back log on my kindle app on my Ipad. There were books and authors mentioned at conference and I know I own some of those books but I have not read them yet. Establishing a more consistent non-fiction reading habit sounds like a positive step in that Education Plan!

At writing time, I completed some easy first steps yesterday afternoon.

  • I unpacked my conference bag, recycled any papers I won’t need again, put things away in my office that have a home.
  • I entered into my phone contacts all of the business card information from fellow attendees who shared with me.
  • I submitted for and received certificates for all the Continuing Education Unit that I earned by participating this weekend.
  • I processed my bullet journal notes from the last 4 days. I still need to prioritize the notes and action steps, but they are in Evernote so that now, when I have a few moments, I can start assigning the ideas and tasks to the appropriate list – ideas like blog topics, client follow up, etc., or schedule time to complete tasks like the errands I will run tomorrow.

On my agenda for this afternoon and tomorrow morning are to review the handouts from each of the presentations. I will reach out via email and thank the speakers for their presentations. I will subscribe to newsletter and follow on Facebook or Instagram.

I will read the articles that were recommended for further reading, I will email follow up to my fellow participants. For example, a fellow participant asked a question during one session regarding working with a client in a hoarding situation who is struggling emotionally, and I offered to share information regarding Mental Health First Aid Training.

I will continue to share out the new knowledge gained in the coming months, as I internalize it and make it my own!

More about Learning new things:

In October, I will begin hosting webinars on topics such as quarterly planning, menu planning, clearing clutter (that was a specific ask, Sandy I heard you!). Some will be free, and some will have a small fee attached. I look forward to you and I learning more together!

Focus Areas: How Do You Spend Your Resources?

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I presented this past weekend at The Traveluxe Ignite 2024 Conference. Their tag line for the conference was “Aspire to Inspire”, I love that!

It was so fun to be in a big room full of fantastic human beings, and I am truly grateful they welcomed me into their circle.

I spoke to them about Goal Setting, using the tools of SMART Goals and PACT Goals, both topics that I have presented dozens of times and spoken about in past articles and podcast episodes. 

Leading into the Goal Setting segment, though, for these folks, I first brought up the idea of Focus Areas.

Our Focus Areas are where, in our life, we use our resources of time, money, energy, passion, focus, etc.  Our Focus Areas are what is important to us. And while I mention “Find Your Focus Areas and stick with them” in my Stress Management presentation, and I have published an article and podcast episode about them (if you want to know more, go check out December, 2022), I needed to expand my teaching content for this presentation and I wrote that content in the last couple of weeks.

The Questions I ask are:

  • “What are your Focus Areas, right now?”
  • Knowing that, “What do you want your Focus Areas to be?” and then
  • “What do you NOT want to focus on?”

Today, we are going to look at that first step, that first question, “What are your Focus Areas, right now?

Productivity Coaching is all about awareness first. We start with awareness. 

We ask, what are we doing? What are our focus areas right now?  Where are we spending our resources? 

Because, here’s the thing, we may think we know what our Focus Areas are, but we also may require a more realistic report of what is actually happening. Sometimes were are not full aware of what we’re spending our resources on. I can believe in my heart that I am focusing on what I want to focus on, but how I spend my resources may tell a different story.

Once we identify our current Focus Areas, then we can ask what we DO and Don’t want them to be, but first we have to identify what they are right now. And, to determine what our focus areas are right now, I suggested a few questions for my participants to reflect on.

I asked, What are our resources? Broadly, our resources are time, money, energy, emotion, passion, space. Right? All of those things are our resources. And all of those things are finite. So we want to make sure that we are spending our resources on the right things.

We’re checking in on what is. And how do we do that?

I recommended strategies in my presentation to find our focus areas. I recommended that, to identify what you are focusing on, look at your bank and credit card statements for how you are spending your money.  Review receipts if you pay for items in cash. Start gaining awareness on where you spend the resource of money.

And that caused a little stir in my audience.  Apparently, something similar had been part of a conversation some other time in the conference, so, reading the room, it caused a stir, though not in a bad way, per se.

I know it’s hard, but that’s why we’re going through this process, right? We want to make sure that we’re doing the right things in the right areas. We want to determine what that is for ourselves. We want to make progress. Yay.

Productivity coaching. That’s what we do.

But we need to know where our resources are going.  And once we know, once we are aware of where our resources are being spent, we can then ask – is this where I WANT them to go?

I’m reminded of a conversation I have had with a family member a couple of times now about travel, as in “When are you going to travel internationally?” And my answer is, and has been, “I have well educated children.” To remind them that our resources have been dedicated to areas other than international travel for the last 10 years or more.

So, as we identify Focus Areas, wee look at where we are spending our money. And we can review other resources, as well.

Where are we spending our time?

If you’re curious about, or seeking awareness around how you spend your time, look at your calendar. This week, of course, but also the last few months or years, and what you have on the calendar looking ahead.

I would like to say that I am dedicated to my own wellness, that it is a Focus area, but a review of my calendar shows that while I am up to date on my medical stuff, I have gotten out of the exercise habit and now it is not on my calendar.  With that awareness, I can either recommit (which I hope to), or I need to be more realistic in the story I tell myself about my Focus Areas.

“How do I spend my scheduled time?” is a good question, and we can also look at our past to-do lists and our current to-do list.  Many of the women I spoke to at the conference mentioned they love paper planners, so another great place to look to identify your Focus Areas is past journals and planners.  In one of my next articles and episodes about Bullet Journals, I will likely talk about how I was never much of a journaler / diary keeper until I started using a Bullet Journal and now I am glad I can go back and review past journals to help me guide my actions today.

Next, was can ask, How do I spend the resource of energy, focus, passion?  An indicator of this is to look at your incoming and outgoing communications, like your phone calls, emails and texting history.

(That suggestion caused a stir, too).

But it is true.  Texting is very personal for most of us, and it is an indicator of our Focus areas. A quick review of my last week of phone calls showed checking in w family, and lots of new client calls. My texting shows the themes of Family / My Parent’s wellness, my kids and husband, ministry at my Parish, Board of Education work, and personal and home management.  Yep, sounds about right.

I have walked through this process myself, of late, when creating this content.  And I feel like another upcoming article and episode will be how to clean up our spending, as I have begun that adventure for myself now that I have gained more awareness.  But that is for another day.

As I wrap up today, let’s recap:

  • Thinking about Focus Areas is important to setting goals and getting things done.
  • It is important to identify what our current Focus Areas are to then ensure that we are doing what we want and need to be doing, and making adjustments if necessary.
  • And
  • To identify what our focus areas are, we can review where we spend our resources, those personal and precious and finite resources we have, like our money, time, energy, focus, emotion, passion. With that awareness, we can then decide for ourselves how we want to move ahead.

I hope you found this helpful, and please let me know how this helped!

Bullet Journal: Ever Present and Indexing

Okay, next up on the list, let’s talk about Bullet Journal. Bullet Journaling. My bullet journal.

Now, this is a big deal for a lot of reasons, and I’m going to tell you why.

It’s September, and September is National Preparedness Month. I have shared a lot of information over the years about National Preparedness Month. We all benefit from that reminder that we need to have our ducks in a row, or at least know what and where are our ducks are. We need to be ready for life. And I will talk about National Preparedness Month in a couple of weeks, but that is not today’s topic.

One of the ways that I stay in a state of Ready, how I manage all the things that I manage – and there are a lot of those things – is using something called a Bullet Journal. I am going to reference now Ryder Carroll who created Bullet Journal, and also bulletjournal.com if you would like to know more.

And to give credit where credit is due, I need to give a nod to my dear friend Mark who introduced me to the idea many years ago. Mark has since passed, unfortunately, but I think of him kindly when I am working in my Bullet Journal.

I just started a new journal last week. Starting fresh is such a good feeling. A Bullet Journal is a tool. That’s all. It’s a very personalizeable tool. Mark and I taught Bullet Journaling classes over the years and it was good for us to teach it together because Bullet Journaling is so personal and individualized, it’s good to have two different people’s input.

There are many facets of a Bullet Journal that I love. Honestly, it’s a notebook. That’s it. It’s a notebook. How you use that notebook makes it a Bullet Journal. If you’d like to go to the Bullet Journal website and spend a lot of money on a very snazzy notebook – they are very pretty – Go for it. But before I get ahead of myself, let me tell you why I love my Bullet Journal.

A Bullet Journal is a tool, and the concept comes with rules and suggestions, a technique, with ways of doing things, and you can choose to use it or not, and you can choose to abide by the rules and suggestions or not. I find it very helpful, and there are two facets of Bullet Journaling that I will talk about today that can be applied to any other notebook or note taking device, as well.

One aspect I love about my Bullet Journal is that it is ever present, ever ready. As I am writing this article, it is physically at my right hand on my desk. And when I get ready to go in a few minutes, I will slip it into my backpack which is twelve inches away from it at present, and it will go with me and be ever present as I go about my day as well.

I love technology, I am a tech girl. I use my phone and iPad and laptop ALL DAY. But there are also times in my day that I that I need to write something down as opposed to entering it into my phone or laptop somehow. Maybe I need to scratch a 2 word reminder to run an errand while I sit at a stoplight, right? So I do. Because my Bullet Journal is ever present. And I don’t necessarily want to pick up my phone because well, it’s illegal and ill advised.

Whenever a thought strikes me, I can quickly jot it down, and I recognize there are many opportunities in my day where those thoughts to strike!

And this is why I am sharing. I know many people, clients and colleagues, who write down notes on whatever is handy. The back of mail envelopes, shopping bags, the margins of a book, on a newspaper, on their hands. (Yes, their hands, 25 years ago – I worked for the Internal Medicine Residency Program at the University of Illinois, Chicago and yes, our residents would sometimes jot down lab results on their hands because that’s what was available when they took a call from the lab about a patient.)

If I am already on a call, sometimes it’s just easier to write the customer service reference number or my family member’s hospital room number. And sometimes, I don’t want to get distracted by my screen so I will make a note to “look up jar salad recipes”, or write a really cool quote that I read in a devotion this morning.

One client in particular asks as we discover notes on note paper, receipts, envelopes, whatever – “What is wrong with me!?” Nothing’s wrong with her. But her notes and therefore her thoughts end up a hodgepodge, which makes it difficult to retain or review that information or get to what is really important. Whenever we’re working on her papers, we find notes all over the place but without context, they are difficult to process.

Which leads me to the second thing that I love most about my Bullet Journal and that is the Index. Which is just what it sounds like. Read any published material and it likely has an index. So you can find what you need when you need it.

On my Bullet Journal next to me, I have today’s date listed, and some notes below. Later today, I have a doctor’s appointment and I’m going to have some notes from that in my Bullet Journal. Later still, I will run a rehearsal for my choir and I will surely add more thoughts and tasks to the page.

In a couple of weeks, if I want to refer back to what we talked about today with my doctor, I’m going to be able to check the index and flip to the page from today.

My index pages, the first 4 pages of a Bullet Journal, will have three columns for page number, dates and then topics per page. So I can readily find information again if I need it.

And – you can do this with any notebook you already have, too! (I rocked a client’s world a few weeks ago with this concept – she was so excited to add an index to existing note books to make them make sense!!)

Yes, you can take an existing notebook, number the pages and if it is too late to add an index to the front, add it to the last 4 pages instead. Three columns for page number, date and topic. Sometimes my topic is “Life”, and sometimes it is “Dr. Appt, School Board Meeting regarding Finances, blog article ideas, etc.” Let’s say, on pages 13 and 14 are notes from the special board meeting regarding finances and in a month or two, I want to go back and look at that, I can flip to the index, see pages 13 and 14, and can flip to those pages with consistency, confidence.

I usually fill up a Bullet Journal in 4-5 months, but the notes and index still exist, so I can always go back and look for things if I need to.

A real life example, I had a client who was moving cross country. She called about apartments on the west coast and she had a notebook full of notes. But when it came time to actually travel, she was worried about being able to find the specific places and people that she had talked to, to reference while she sat in the office with the people. She had a notebook full of information, but it wasn’t as useful as it could be. I suggested she go back, and number the pages of the notebook, determine what date (approximately) she spoke with people at each apartment complex, and add that info to an index at the back of the notebook. She spoke to so and so on this date regarding these apartments, and this is how much a 1 bedroom costs, or a 2 bedroom, square footage, amenities, if there is a garage, how long is the waiting list, etc. And then, when she sat in the office on the west coast in-person, she could easily flip to that page easily and say, when we spoke on this day, you mentioned x, y and z” that conversation would be that much more fruitful. It really helped with the home search to be able to find that information again.

Another real world example, inspired by a conversation with my college student son. My son is taking a philosophy class this semester and his professor does not allow electronic note taking. I wish I had known about indexing when I was still a student, because, um, it’s so helpful. So, you know, on the back page of his notebook, on the first page, if he’s thinking of it, but definitely on the last couple pages, he could absolutely, you know, again, number the bottom of the notebook pages, and then pages one and two, or pages, you know, page one was first day of class. Page three, two, three and four were second day. And we talked broadly about this and this, right. And, uh, pages five through eight, we’re studying for the first quiz, um, on such and such a date regarding, um, such and such a topic, right. So you can index anything, and it’s so helpful.

Bullet Journaling for goal setting, time management and productivity!

This is definitely an article about my love for Bullet Journaling but I suggest that you consider how you could apply the idea of one ever present notebook and the idea of indexing to your current methods of note taking, if you have them. These ideas are specific to Bullet Journals, sure, but the two ideas that I’ve mentioned today can be used independently of bullet journaling as well. Give these ideas a try, and let me know what you think!

Peace-mck

“Activation of Prior Knowledge” (Sounds Cool, Right?)

In education, at least in this country because of summer vacation, there is the phenomenon of the “summer slide”. The summer slide refers to students forgetting stuff over summer vacation.

Students are in school for 9-ish months and they learn A LOT! And then, they take 2.5 months off for summer vacation, which is great, but they forget things in those 2.5 months.

Instead of receiving daily or weekly reminders and opportunities to use learned skills, they lose those reminders and opportunities so the skills get a little rusty. Without constantly accessing that information, it can feel like they are losing the information or skills.

Educators, and other people that are much smarter than me who know these things, would argue that the information isn’t lost. Students might forget they know it. It’s not lost. But they, and as we apply this idea to us, we, may need to remember how to retrieve it.

When we learn, we receive new information in our short term memory and then, through repetition and brain processes, our brain converts it to long term memory. I have talked about learning and repetition before, for example, in my “I Am Statements” article and episode.

We put in the reps, we put in the time, we build skills and work with the information, then the information gets cemented. It becomes part of us. But like when kids are out of school for a few months, they and we might get out of the retrieval habit.

Let’s face it, we all can get out of the habit of retrieving and using the information that we have learned.

When a student is starting let’s say 5th grade, the teacher can assume a few things. They can assume that because the student is starting fifth grade, the student has successfully completed learning all the things that you needed to learn to finish 4th grade, and all the grades before. We believe that we can make that assumption. There have been building blocks, some foundations laid.

It’s not as if your new fifth grader is going to review every moment of pre k, kindergarten, 1st, 2nd, 3rd and 4th grade. It doesn’t work that way. However, in the first couple of weeks in a school year, in many classes and subjects, what needs to happen is something called activation of prior knowledge.

Activation

Of

Prior

Knowledge.

Your student needs to be reminded that their brain knows stuff. They have used math, of course, all summer (because we really do use it every day), but they might not have needed all the facts since June, and now they need them again. They might not remember that they know the details of that particular science concept or that particular social studies concept or how to write a book report, etc.

Therefore, in the first few weeks of school, in addition to introducing new information, there is an activation of prior knowledge.

What does that mean to us as adults? Because guess what? Not just 10 year olds need to have their prior knowledge activated. We do, too. Very often when we decide we need to make a change, we think that we must start over, recreate the wheel, make big sweeping change. And we don’t have to.

We know stuff, even if we don’t remember that we know stuff. And sometimes we need to activate prior knowledge. Activation of prior knowledge for us might be returning to healthy practices that got ignored or abandoned over the summer, for example.

Yes, that is a possibility!

I might not have to start over from scratch on habits, but I might have to remind myself that “yes, even though it has been a while, I know how to do this”. I know how to eat healthy, get exercise, whatever those routines are that we want to re-boot.

For example, I’ve been on this sabbatical while recovering from a procedure. Because of it, and this is weird, I was not allowed to work out in the three week after my surgery. No over-exertion, no lifting of anything more than 8-10 pounds, etc. Yep, that’s a thing.

And, at the end of the three weeks, I will activate prior knowledge and say – “you know what, I had a good routine around those things, and then it fell away. I just need to get back to it”. Thinking back, I was using my maxi climber machine five minutes a day, I would take a walk 4 of 7 mornings in a week, and when I didn’t walk, I would at least stretch and do a short meditation. How about instead of re-creating my routine, because we never truly need to start over, I just re-commit to what has worked before that I just couldn’t do for a few weeks? I am much more likely to succeed if I start there!

I know how to do this and it’s time to activate prior knowledge. is. So let’s get back to it, right? I’ve done this before so I know it is do-able.

Another example, I had a great habit and rhythm for meal planning. At the beginning of the year, I would cook two or three meals on a Sunday, and then I wouldn’t have to cook for the rest of the week because our weeks get really busy. This strategy was helpful, and it made life easier. But as soon as we started traveling this summer on the weekends, that all went away. And that’s okay, because we’ve had great travels, and I’ve been exactly where I needed to be to help family members. And now as the seasons change again, I want to return to that habit. I want to activate that prior knowledge. I know how to do that, I liked it and it was so worth it. Let’s remember how to do that.

For many of us, our brain seeks novelty. So it would be really tempting for me to say, ooh, I need to completely change and do something radically different to enable my brain to get the dopamine hit it needs. And I will buy new accessories to do that new activity, and spend hours and hours learning how to do it and there will be a steep learning curve… etc.

But, I can also remind myself I will succeed more quickly if I make what I know already new again, right? That could be the activation of prior knowledge. I don’t have to keep going for new, new, new. I don’t need to take up yet another habit, I don’t have to solve the problem in a different way. I don’t have to do that. I can activate prior knowledge and redo what I already know works, but it’s recommitting to it, so it’s new again, which is actually pretty cool, especially if my brain is seeking dopamine.

To recap,

We know things. Like a grade schooler moving from 4th to 5th grade, we need to get back in the habit of learning and we need to remember what we already know, as a foundation for learning even more things. We can learn. We have the capability. It lives in us. Hello, coaching.

Prior knowledge lives in each of us. We know this stuff. We just need to remember that we know it and we need to activate it. We need to reapply it, we need to recommit to it.

We might have fallen away. And maybe we do want to change things up a little, make things look a little different.

As students go back to school and spend time the first couple weeks activating prior knowledge, we can also spend some time this week and this month activating prior knowledge.

Let’s remind ourselves what we know, what our best practices can be, have been, can be again. My challenge to you and to myself this week is to consider all the different places this idea can apply. It might not be math or social studies or science or in the classroom. There’s other knowledge, other prior knowledge we can activate. But let’s think about that. We don’t have to relearn, we don’t have to reinvent the wheel. We already know stuff because we’re smart. Let’s remember what we know and activate that prior knowledge, get ourselves back on track, or even on a new track, and make things happen.

(Sounds Cool, Right?)

College Bound? Organize Your Dorm and Small Spaces

(This content started out as a 90 minute in-person presentation, and what you are reading today was the handout, so many of the tips are in list form.)

First, let me remind you: At this time, your priorities might not be the same as your student’s priorities. We can’t control how others feel.  If your student, like mine, has no plans for decorating his or her space beyond the necessities, so be it.

Sending a student off to college? Or is an adult child moving to their first apartment? Enjoy this Grand New Adventure! And, get it organized!

Planning ahead makes these days flow smoothly. I said these quotes to my son and his friend just last week:

“If you fail to plan, you are planning to fail!” (Ben Franklin) and
“In preparing for battle I have always found that plans are useless, but planning is indispensable.”  (Dwight D. Eisenhower)
 
So, let’s do this!

  • Get the list of recommended items from your school.
  • Virtual tours, and on-line schematics are also available for some schools.
  • Check Target, BB&B and elsewhere for lists, but DON’T buy everything on the lists!
  • Your student can ask for gift cards for graduation.  Check into stores close to campus, too.
  • At Orientation, we can determine what’s provided and have a chance to measure rooms and spaces. Refrigerators?  Microwaves?  Box fans? 
  • Collaborate with roommates, or start the search among friends or on Facebook.  Your students don’t need more than one coffee maker or popcorn maker, cleaning supplies, mirrors, etc., either. 
  • Start early to spread new expenses over a few months, and to give you all time to think and plan clearly.

You and your student can tackle organizing dorm rooms and small spaces the same way we organize for any project. We can use the 5 Step Organizing Process via Julie Morgenstern in her book Organizing From The Inside Out. Those 5 steps are Sort, Purge, Assign a Home, Containerize and Equalize.
 
The Sort and Purge steps go along with packing as your student gets ready to move.

  • Pack like with like; but also get things ready to use.
    • For example, as your student packs their bedding and towels, keep one set of bedding and towels right on top to use immediately when they get to their new space.
    • This makes making the bed so much easier.
    • And they can leave the rest of their bedding and towels packed until after they have set up their space.
  • Shop at home first for their stuff, to save $$ and make them more comfortable.
    • For example, my son and I were just discussing bed pillows this afternoon, and how he should pack his favorites from home to ensure a good nights sleep.
    • In addition, he is taking his bedspread from home because he really likes it.
    • I can replace the spread and his home pillows with items we already own.
  • It’s difficult to purge at this point, since our students are acquiring things at this stage. But they can choose to leave some things behind.

 Assign a Home / Containerize:  SHOPPING:

  • When considering storage for any spaces, dorms or home – utilize vertical space as much as possible.
    • Consider a bed-side bag for bedside items (especially if the bed is lofted).
      • Space bags / Ziploc totes and bags;
      • Consider over-the-the door towel hanger / coat rack / shoe holder / pockets:  for shoes, but also snacks and such. 
      • Double-hang the closet rods.
      • Use narrow metal / felted hangers.
  • You’re going to need at least a few surge protectors, and make sure they have long cords.
  • 3M Command hooks, cord keepers, photo hanging strips.
  • Plan for under-bed storage.
  • Consider tension rods for fabric covers / partitions (shower curtains and rings are awesome, too).
  • The 80/20 says we use 20% of our stuff 80% of the time.  So keep the 20% handy, and the 80% less handy.  
  • Consider multipurpose storage / furniture:
    • Collapsible / convertible / nesting / re-purpose-able storage; stackable, and with lids.
    • Trunks, as storage and extra seating (but don’t pack it full of heavy stuff).
    • Invest in good and matching items.  Higher quality is worth the added expense, and matching (clear, from same manufacturer) items will have the added bonus, typically, of nesting.
    • Packable bins.  Store stuff in them when you move back home for the summer.   Get them the same size so that they stack neatly when not in use
  • No matter what: When Shopping for storage items for dorms or new small spaces: Buy extra of good solutions, but be prepared with the receipt to return them if they’re not needed. 
    • There may be lots of things that come home after moving day, like boxes and suitcases.
  • Packing / Actual Move:
    • Assume that your move in / settle in time with your student will be limited.
    • Bring your own rubber mallet.
    • Right on top, have the Last In / First Out Box
      • soaps, clorox wipes, paper towels, cleaning supplies, snacks
      • tool box, Command hooks, and first aid kit, too
      • But mostly, bring your own rubber mallet for lofting the bed.
      • Bring your own hand cart, too. There are often carts and things to use, but they will be in high demand. So bring your own, as well.
  • Map out dorm room and where each box / its contents are to be unloaded.  Everyone should know the plan.
  • Set up the dressers away the same at home (like use a really big Ziploc bag to pack at home, and then empty out in the drawer at school)
  • As a parent – let me tell you now. Your student might not want help setting up their space beyond the physical labor of getting their stuff to their dorm room and lofting the bed or arranging the furniture. That is a conversation for your student and their roommate, or for them to decide on their own. Maybe they want you there, and maybe it is time to leave.

EQUALIZING (Maintenance):

  • Pack for current season, your student will likely be home before really cold weather. (But pack pants)
  • Make sure they have skills for independent living.
    • How to do laundry (and how often), how to sew a button, iron a shirt
    • First Aid and Illness kit; explain what things do – Tylenol, cold medicine, stomach distress, etc.
    • Grocery shopping, nutrition and a little cooking
    • General cleaning, how to and how often.

What to do with the bedroom that’s left behind:

  • Mourn just a little.  Then do a deep and thorough cleaning of the area.  Clothes, bedding, walls, carpets, garbage.
  • Spend just a little time on organizing during home visits, asking specific questions about specific items.
  • Do not take over your student’s space.  They will come home again, and will need their space again. 

I hope this process goes smoothly for you and your loved one!

Hope In Normalizing: “I Can Do This, Too”

This week, I want to introduce an idea called Normalizing, and why I think it is a useful and hopeful idea.

I was talking to a friend recently about a health challenge she is facing.

She was saying that we can believe we are all alone in what we are suffering with because we’ve never really talked about it with anyone.  However, when you start talking to people about your health issue, suddenly you find out that the problem is common, that many people have the same problem, or at least know somebody with the problem.

Ummm… let’s say gallbladder issues.  (And no, I do not have gallbladder issues, and neither does she, I’m just using this as an example).

Imagine: I’m feeling fine, and then one day, I’m not feeling so fine.  I muddle through for a few weeks or even months, with flare-ups and the like, getting better between and then another flare up happens. I finally go to the doctor. They run their tests, give me a diagnosis, share some strategies with me and also schedule a surgery because the gallbladder has to be removed.

Now that I know more and need to make plans, I mention my health challenge at work (because I need time off), or I bring it up with friends or family or the lady at the grocery store because now that I have a diagnosis and a plan, I feel more comfortable talking about it…

And when I bring it up, I find out that EVERYONE has had this problem, or knows someone who has had this problem.

You know the stories you hear, “my husband / wife / parent / child / coworker / friend / sibling has or had this problem”. We all may want to feel special and unique, but probably not when it comes to our gallbladder!

Hearing the stories about how what we thought was one-of-a-kind really isn’t… that is not a bad thing. I actually consider it kind of a good thing.  It feels hopeful to me.

In coaching, we talk about normalizing. Per Dictionary.com, Normalizing may mean “to cause (something previously considered abnormal or unacceptable) to be treated as normal”. 

This can be negative like when we learn to tolerate something that might be negative so that it becomes our new normal.  But it can also be a positive thing, when we expand our understanding of what can be typical and normal, so we no longer feel shame or worry about an issue or circumstance.

As in, when you find out that this issue that you’re having that is probably really rocking your world if you are in the middle of it and things are sore or are uncomfortable is actually 100% survivable.  And do-able.

Like when you’ve got something medical going on and all you seem to do is go to doctor’s appointments and do follow-up and it feels like a full-time job. And it’s really impacting your life and you feel frustrated. You feel like you’re alone in this. Like no one is going to understand. 

And yet, they will.

We can’t necessarily see our way through this situation because we have never been in it before.  We don’t know how long it will take, or when we may start to feel better.  But… other people know.  Other people have faced it and have come out the other side.

So we normalize. We normalize because sometimes we need to hear that we are not alone in whatever it is we’re going through. Sometimes we need to feel like we’re not alone AND that someone else in a similar situation has figured it out.

They have figured it out. And therefore, so can I.

If somebody else has figured all this out, I can too. And there is hope. There is hope in that. I can, too.

Let’s switch it up, I will use Blackberry Jam as an analogy.

Last year I learned how to make and can jam. Like preserves, hot water bath, mason jars, shelf stable, etc.

I had promised a loved one that I would find someone to make jam for an event, and I did not find a jam maker so I became the jam maker.   Here’s the thing.  I knew that I could.  I had a working knowledge of what was involved. And we have YouTube and websites and books, plus there is Amazon.com for ordering the tools.  It’s all there.  It’s all learnable. It’s all there. I knew I could do it.

I like to think I am pretty smart, and I am definitely curious and open to learning.  And hey, people living hundreds of years ago with none of the resources I have now figured it out.  I can do this.  And I did. And it was good!

Now I know how to make jam and also preserve it.  I’m pretty sure I still have some in my cabinet from last Fall. I still have all the tools and the know-how, to do it again. We can call that normalized.

Sometimes, my coaching clients or myself or any one of us, really, can think that the situation that we find ourselves in at this moment is so singular that no one has ever figured out what to do about it. And therefore, we can’t even hope to make things better.

And that’s not true.  I’m here to tell you that’s not true because I guarantee you there have been similar situations where people have figured things out and have come through on the other side just fine.

I consider normalizing to be optimistic. I consider normalizing, when done right, to be hopeful. When we are in the midst of something that we don’t know how to figure out, it’s hopeful to know that someone else figured it out. You are most likely able, you’re going to be able to figure it out as well.  And next time, you can be the resource for somebody.

We have more resources right now than we ever had ever in history to figure things out, ever. You have more resources now than anyone has ever had before. Whoa.

But it’s true. We have more knowledge now than anyone has ever had before. How hopeful and optimistic is that?! It’s awesome. And, if you want to figure things out for yourself, I am here to help. 

Independence Day: From What? For What?

This week, in this country, we celebrate Independence Day.

I want to respect why we celebrate Independence Day, and also ask the question about the word independence – for ourselves, independence from what?  What do we choose independence from, and what do we choose it for?

Whenever I hear the phrase, “The Fourth of July”, my brain goes to a silly joke. A traveler from the US goes to another country for vacation in the summer.  He asks his hosts why they don’t have The Fourth of July in their country.  The hosts assure him “of course we have The Fourth of July, right after the third and before the 5th.  The calendar would look odd without it.” Or something along those lines.

So, I’ll stick with calling it Independence Day.  But that also sends my brain down a little trail around the word “independence.”  And that’s what I want to talk about today. Independence, as in being free of something.  And free to do something else.

Is there something that you are currently dependent on, or a situation that you are currently in that you seek to be independent from? Let’s consider, is there a situation or relationship that isn’t currently working? And what would we choose instead?

Could you benefit from independence from a habit that is not supporting you? And what would we choose?

And let’s turn it into more positive language – perhaps it’s not independence from something.  But, instead something that you’d like to see improved, enhanced.   As in, if I made these positive changes, I could be independent to do x, y or z.

Whatever that looks like for you. Independence Day.

As I consider Independence, I’m reminded that sometimes we don’t even realize what we are dependent on.  It is more likely that we haven’t identified the habits or things that we need independence from, and less likely that there just aren’t any.

Perhaps it’s a mindset, a way of thinking, that isn’t serving us.

How to?

  • We start with knowing what it looks like when we’re being our best selves.
  • We Identify what is keeping us from being our best selves.
  • We break down those things, habits, ways of being that are in the way and we take action to change them. 
  • And, starting the process all over again. And that’s ok.

We can always be learning and improving.

What is it that you would need to become independent from?  And what are we using our independence for?

As both an organizational coach and a certified professional organizer, let’s use Independence from Our Stuff as an example.

Perhaps you have unhealthy habits around your stuff, and you could benefit from independence from those habits and your stuff!  I subscribe to emails from a woman named Dana White with the Website, YouTube channel etc., “A Slob Comes Clean”.  In her content she talks about her “deslobification” journey and I really respect her insight and perspective of how a disorganized person got organized.  It’s great, if you want to check her out. 

Recently, she was talking about shopping, and how her negative habits around shopping were contributing to her mounting clutter.  She mentioned that she used to go to garage sales and fill up the car all the time with more stuff because she was waiting for stuff to be the answer to her life questions.

She was creating bigger problems for herself by continuing with unhealthy habits.

To break free from the stuff, she also needed to be less dependent on the habits around acquiring more stuff.  If this was you or me in this example, we can see that we need to break free of bad habits to become independent of our clutter.

What if you need to assert your independence from negative thoughts or thinking that isn’t helping you.

Working with a coaching client the other day, we were discussing how her thoughts often get stuck in a rut, just circling or spinning, without a way to move on from that spinning (and leaving her overwhelmed, stressed out, distracted, etc.).

Can you relate?  I can relate.

This client was seeking independence from these swirling negative thoughts because she knew there was more happiness, peace and calm to be found on the other side. 

She is sometimes unhappy, overwhelmed, distracted, etc.  She is SUPER smart, accomplished professionally, has a satisfying personal life… and she still needs independence from her current thinking habits.

Again, can you relate?  I can relate.

As we worked it through. She expressed what is going on in her head. She recognized where she wants to go and how she wants to be, and she recognized she isn’t there yet. She also identified what was holding her back from happiness and peace. And getting a handle on her swirling thoughts would give her the freedom to think how she wants to think.

Anecdotally, we discovered together that writing down the thoughts that were swirling in her head would give her a chance to inspect and organize them and also make a record her learning.  So she wouldn’t have to keep thinking the same thoughts over and over again, and she could think about something else instead.  Sounds like independence to me.

I will say that for me, I have, over time, broken free of or become more independent of my perfectionist tendencies.  That way of being didn’t serve me well. I struggled with perfectionism and therefore procrastination when my kids were really little.  Time management was harder when they were little and  my responsibilities and my time were not my own. But I could change my tendencies and that is what I managed to do.

I am no longer a perfectionist because who has the time?

Was that quick? No.

Was it easy? Probably not, but I don’t remember.

Is it possible? Yes, it absolutely is. And now I can live differently. And better.

But that’s the question I’m asking you today as we celebrate Independence Day, what is it that you would like to become independent from?

What habits are no longer serving you?

What is it time for you to separate yourself from?  Thing. Habit, thought, whatever.

I look forward to hearing what that could be for you. I hope that you are, uh, motivated to think of things like that. I am thinking big thoughts this summer, but that was one that I wanted to share with.

Happy Independence Day, how ever you would like to embrace it!